Trigger Warning before you continue…
These are superficial scars, but the emotions run deeper.
I want to start this off with saying – infertility is not failure, infertility is not inferior, infertility is a different journey.
28 months ago, we had a traumatic delivery: 13 days in the ICU for Ryaan & myself.
10 months ago, we found out I had secondary infertility from the trauma that delivery did to my body.
- A C-section scar from Dec. 2019
- An exploratory laparotomy scar from Dec. 2019 (a week later through C-section incision) to remove infected fluid and abscesses
- A scar from my JP drain that drained the fluid for days after
- Two scars from the laparoscopic procedure to remove my Fallopian tube and C-section scar revision to remove severe scar tissue in July 2021
Over the last 28 months, my body, mind, and heart have been through a lot.
And over this time, I have watched my son grow up into this amazing toddler while simultaneously facing the reality that my body was internally scarred during his delivery.
I am so grateful for the REI team that validated my concerns & diagnosed my secondary infertility – a process that was needed to figure out the best way to grow our family.
We really never thought this would be our reality. I don’t think many families who do IVF do.
It has been emotional. I knew it would be. But it has been more tolerable due to the support of a very large IVF community–many of whom are my friends in real life, women in The New Mom Squad, and followers here.
This entire experience is just getting started for us as I just only recently finished my egg retrieval.
I did hormone stimulation for 15 days–the longest of anyone I know.
I show you:
- How to mix medicines.
- How I managed injections with a toddler’s schedule.
- How we dealt with viruses that took over our house while doing injections
- How I cried in cars because of the stress, hormones, and uncertainty
This is my first vlog as I highlight the ups and downs of this phase of IVF.
I am humbled by the power of our bodies and I am humbled by the power of science.
We often forget how conceiving a child, having a healthy pregnancy & delivery, while also having a child without a medical condition is not the norm.
Many families experience struggles in all or one of these aspects.
I want to normalize this so we can celebrate those who have had ease & health in their journey to parenthood; but also recognize that this reality is not everyone’s reality. And have some compassion around the way we discuss family planning, fertility, pregnancy, & birth trauma.