You’ve probably heard routines are very important for toddlers, but do you know why? I welcome Jessica, a Pediatric Occupational Therapist and founder of @rootedinroutine to discuss why routines are useful and misconceptions surrounding routines.

We discuss:

• Why routines are helpful for toddlers
• Why they are helpful for YOU
• Some non-negotiables when it comes to routines
• Misconceptions about routines

Find out more about Jessica on her Instagram @rootedinroutine or her website  rootedinroutine.com

00;00;00;00 – 00;00;21;03

Jessica

I have coins, what I call my day routine non-negotiables. And so those are the five areas of the day that I encourage parents to create mini routines around. And so what happens is if you do this, you will kind of naturally fall into a more general routine and general flow for the whole day.

 

00;00;21;05 – 00;00;46;06

Dr. Mona

Hello and welcome back to the PedsDocTalk Podcast, a podcast that keeps growing because of each and every one of you and your reviews. So thank you for tuning in and being here today. Today I’m welcoming childhood routine expert, pediatric Occupational therapist, mom and founder of Rooted in Routine on Instagram. And we are talking all about the power of routines in children.

 

00;00;46;07 – 00;00;49;13

Dr. Mona

Thank you so much for joining me today.

 

00;00;49;16 – 00;00;52;03

Jessica

Thank you for having me. I’m so excited.

 

00;00;52;06 – 00;01;11;04

Dr. Mona

Yeah, so I’m so excited that we could do this. Jessica, this is going to be a great conversation. I also share a love of routine and the understanding that sometimes having a flexible routine is important, but I like to explain to families why this is so important for children and toddlers. So tell me more about yourself and what you do.

 

00;01;11;06 – 00;01;44;03

Jessica

Sure. So, I’m Jessica, I am a pediatric occupational therapist. That’s my clinical background. And I’m also a wife, a mom to a toddler. He is currently 20 months old and most recently the founder of Rooted in Routine, which is my online education platform for parents. So yeah, I do all of that. I currently still do work two days a week as a clinical pediatric OT, and then the rest of my time is spent working on this online business to help more of you guys.

 

00;01;44;05 – 00;01;47;03

Dr. Mona

So what made you start rooted in routine?

 

00;01;47;06 – 00;02;10;21

Jessica

Yeah. So I’ve been in pediatrics and as a not for my whole career. I’m going on ten years now as an OT, and I worked in multiple pediatric settings. And really, what I saw in all of the settings I’ve worked in, which is elementary schools, daycares, early intervention, private clinical practice, and most recently, home health pediatrics.

 

00;02;10;21 – 00;02;40;05

Jessica

What I really saw after, you know, working in pediatrics for a few years was how powerful a child’s routine is at home and at school or wherever they go that can really affect their health, their wellness, their development, and their overall ability to thrive. And I became super passionate about teaching the basics. I feel like sometimes those are glossed over and we we kind of like, overcomplicate it for parents.

 

00;02;40;05 – 00;02;57;12

Jessica

And so I decided to just really started as an Instagram page, to educate parents virtually about how routines, how routines can look at each age from babies all the way up to kids, and why they’re so important.

 

00;02;57;14 – 00;03;18;20

Dr. Mona

And like I said earlier, I completely resonate with this because I also do see the benefits of routine for so many things for our children’s, their behavior, especially, not only in the infancy ages, but also when they approach the toddler years and beyond. So can explain more about why you think they’re so important and how they can benefit not only the child, but also the family.

 

00;03;19;09 – 00;03;38;23

Jessica

Totally. I love this topic. I like geek out on it. And and I read through a lot of research on this too. So like a lot of these things, most of these things, there is solid research behind, which is great. So the first thing I do want to say, and this is kind of a little bit of a side note, but a routine is very different than a schedule.

 

00;03;39;05 – 00;04;02;27

Jessica

So the way we define a routine, I think that’s important because parents often confuse it with following a strict schedule. So when we say routine, what you really mean is following the same set of steps in the same order, whether that be for a certain tiny area of your day, like, you know, just bedtime or we think, you know, a general kind of broad routine that we follow for the entire day.

 

00;04;03;00 – 00;04;23;04

Jessica

So both are important. But what is great about routines is that they are flexible. They are not strictly dictated by the time on the clock. They’re really more dictated by the steps that you do. And you know what you do, what you don’t do and how you do those steps. That’s what really creates the benefits for your child.

 

00;04;23;04 – 00;04;33;12

Jessica

So I don’t want parents to get stuck up on, like, you know, following a strict schedule and stressing out about without times, ten minutes off. Because trust me, I’ve been there.

 

00;04;33;17 – 00;04;35;20

Dr. Mona

Yep, you do it hard.

 

00;04;36;07 – 00;05;05;19

Jessica

But yeah, I wanted to mention that before, we dive into the benefits so in terms of the benefits of routine, really the biggest one is that they create predictability in both you and your child’s day. And so when your child’s able to have a sense of knowing what’s coming next, that predictability, it actually lowers their stress response and their anxiety response to their day, which then in turn we see can decrease things like challenging behaviors or tantrums.

 

00;05;06;04 – 00;05;30;01

Jessica

It can improve just overall mood and ability to get through the day without breaking down. It also improves sleep. It improves overall health. When our, you know, our general ability to self regulate and combat stress is low. And then for the parent like this is both personal and professional. I’ve seen it really leads to like what I like to call empowered parenting.

 

00;05;30;01 – 00;05;49;21

Jessica

So we feel more confident in how we’re structuring our child’s day, that we’re doing the right thing for their developmental age and stage. And also there’s just like less decision fatigue when things become routine, right? Like we’re not constantly thinking like, yeah, when am I serving lunch? How am I going to serve lunch today? Like, what does that look like?

 

00;05;49;21 – 00;05;52;26

Jessica

So that’s why I love them for us too.

 

00;05;52;28 – 00;06;09;25

Dr. Mona

Of course. And I, I love what you mentioned first about the flow being more important than the time. I mean, yes, we would like some resemblance of, like, not putting your kid to bed at 1130 every night, but it’s okay if there’s that flexibility. And that’s what I mean by flexibility and routine, and that there’s going to be times where you’re stuck in traffic.

 

00;06;09;25 – 00;06;31;24

Dr. Mona

There’s going to be times where you’re going to meet a friend for something, and it’s okay if that routine timewise gets thrown off. But you’re just going to have that flow. I love that point. And then, like you said, so beautifully in that it helps lower stress response, improve sleep quality. I agree with that. And then what people forget to realize is that it really can impact eating habits too, right?

 

00;06;31;24 – 00;06;47;09

Dr. Mona

Like we talked about picky eating so much in the toddler years. And one of the biggest things I talk about first is like when I kind of figured out that it’s not something mechanical and the child just is refusing because of behavior. I’m like, what is your schedule? And they’re like, What do you mean schedule? I’m like, tell me, what time you a snack?

 

00;06;47;09 – 00;07;02;18

Dr. Mona

What time you’re giving lunch? Like, oh, we don’t really have a schedule. I’m like, let’s back up and try to get a resemblance of an expectation. You know, I think parents forget, like, how important routine is even for us. Like, you know, we wake up every day and we usually do the same, similar thing in the morning.

 

00;07;02;18 – 00;07;12;18

Dr. Mona

We get in our car and it really is beneficial. Obviously routine can be broken, but toddler brains and infant brains, they like it. They thrive on it. Right? You would agree?

 

00;07;12;20 – 00;07;34;18

Jessica

Yes, 100%. They really do like it. And I love what you said about the eating. I yes, I am trained in feeding as a feeding therapist. That is always the first line of defense. And yeah, their brain literally craves it. It actually causes their brain like from a nervous system perspective, to feel safe. And that feeling of safety in infancy is so important.

 

00;07;34;20 – 00;07;49;07

Dr. Mona

And that’s why when people are like, well, I hear a lot of negative feedback about a resemblance of a routine, right? People are like, come on, just go with the flow. And you can be go with the flow and what you’re following with, just as the saying in that you are just, you know, there’s a routine in terms of what’s happening after what?

 

00;07;49;07 – 00;08;06;06

Dr. Mona

After what? Because it does offer that security and it actually has developmental benefits. So if anyone is Pooh poohing and saying, you know what, why are you doing a routine? It doesn’t matter. Just have them listen to this episode. Because again, we’re going to get into so much about that. That really does benefit. Like she said, the entire family.

 

00;08;06;10 – 00;08;12;13

Dr. Mona

So you mentioned, you know, this is something that we can do in infancy. How early are we talking here in your perspective?

 

00;08;12;15 – 00;08;33;10

Jessica

Yeah. So of course in the newborn stage your day is not going to look as structured as, let’s say a two year old’s day. Right. Obviously. And that’s normal. But I do believe that there are things you can do from day one of your baby’s life to kind of like set the stage for moving towards the direction of having a routine.

 

00;08;33;10 – 00;09;05;14

Jessica

And the biggest thing is setting their circadian rhythm, which is their ability to know the difference between day and night, and to have their body be cycled in that 24 hour clock. Because when your baby is inside of you in the womb, they’re in 24 hour darkness. And circadian rhythms are really triggered by light exposure. So my biggest tech literally day one, is that you can expose your baby to morning sunlight, whether that’s be stepping outside on your in your backyard or just standing by a window and then keeping it really dark at nighttime.

 

00;09;05;19 – 00;09;28;26

Jessica

And yes, your baby will be up eating during the night. But the point is, is just using that tiny little tip. And that really does set up the beginning stages for like daytime and daytime and nighttime is nighttime. There’s other little tips and tricks I teach for the newborn stage, but really it’s not about like putting your baby on a feeding schedule, which I think kind of going back to what you were saying, or people who like our, you know, kind of against the rigidity.

 

00;09;28;28 – 00;09;42;24

Jessica

A lot of times that’s the thing that I hear is like feed on demand versus, you know, feeding on a schedule. And we don’t have to get into that. But my point is that feeding on a schedule is not what I mean by having a routine in the newborn, right?

 

00;09;42;26 – 00;10;00;02

Dr. Mona

It doesn’t have to be an I love it like I love it because this is exactly what I feel. And so maybe, you know, it’s nice, especially if you can resonate. But no, I mean, and again, what just the thing is not like a pressure thing. When people hear routine, I think they think it’s going to be so rigid, but it’s just going to naturally evolve.

 

00;10;00;14 – 00;10;18;06

Dr. Mona

And yes, the circadian rhythm is such an important thing. And part of that is like the bedtime routine. I love that time routine because again, it’s something that’s so important when they’re older kids too. And who doesn’t love a nice warm bath before they go to bed? I mean, it just it’s so relaxing. But these are all things that can be implemented early on.

 

00;10;18;08 – 00;10;32;10

Dr. Mona

So what would you say are like your go to important routines? If you could say like, these are the ones I really want my families to do on a, you know, whether it’s in infancy or toddler years, what are your favorite ones that you like to talk about?

 

00;10;32;12 – 00;10;58;01

Jessica

Yeah, so I have coined what I call my routine day routine non-negotiables. And so those are the five areas of the day that I encourage parents to create mini routines around. And so what happens is if you do this, you will kind of naturally fall into a more general routine and general flow for the whole day. So the five ones that I like to teach about are sleep routines.

 

00;10;58;01 – 00;11;15;20

Jessica

So that would be bedtime routine. And then if your child still naps, a naptime routine, kind of let those together and then meal times and eating, which is what you kind of mentioned. We kind of mentioned that already. So having a routine around not only what time of day or serving your child food when they start to eat, but what actually that looks like.

 

00;11;15;20 – 00;11;42;06

Jessica

So like a little mini routine before, during and after and then outdoor time routines and playtime routines. When I say those, I don’t mean like fancy activity set ups. If you do follow me on Instagram, you know I am very much not an activity mom. But just having those times kind of fit in throughout the day. So those four things, if you have routines around sleep times, eating times, and then outdoor time and playtime, those seem so basic, right?

 

00;11;42;06 – 00;11;49;29

Jessica

But like that’s really what makes up your child and your baby’s day. And I believe that that can really be like a strong foundation for the whole day.

 

00;11;50;01 – 00;12;21;17

Dr. Mona

I love that, and what you’re saying is part of our daily life. Right? And again, this is supposed to be adding ease to your life, right? Of course you’re going to sleep. You’re going to eat. That’s part of our life and the outdoor time. Oh, the benefits of outdoor time. I understand weather is not always ideal. Wherever you’re listening to this, but if you are able to get outdoor because even with just the set earlier about exposing your baby to light, you know, for getting rhythms, light exposure, even for adults and children is so valuable because it helps with our sleep, you know, and moving our body.

 

00;12;21;17 – 00;12;26;20

Dr. Mona

I love the outdoor one. And then who doesn’t love to play? These are great non-negotiables.

 

00;12;26;22 – 00;12;47;11

Jessica

Yeah, I am obsessed with learning about the benefits of sunlight. I’ve like, gone down like a deep dive just personally. But yeah, it’s literally there are so many benefits to it for any person. So adults too. And it’s like the anecdote to a lot of the kind of modern day troubles we see, I believe. And it’s free generally.

 

00;12;47;11 – 00;12;47;25

Jessica

Yes.

 

00;12;47;25 – 00;13;02;25

Dr. Mona

Yes and exact. Exactly. You don’t have to go to anything like extravagant, just going for a walk or going to the park or, you know, wherever and you like you said, it’s like I did another podcast. It’s something about visual impact of screens. And I was like, you know, and from an evolutionary perspective, we spent most of our time outdoors.

 

00;13;02;25 – 00;13;19;24

Dr. Mona

So our eyes are not used to being looking at screens all the time, you know? So it’s very important from that standpoint, but also just for the routine. And I, you know, I sleep better when I get outdoors. I actually my mood is elevated when I’m outdoors. You know, nature is like the most mindful place that you can be, you know.

 

00;13;19;24 – 00;13;37;14

Dr. Mona

So in Florida we only have the beach and we don’t have much of like a nature walks or anything like that. But I love getting out and I think that’s again, so important. And I think, you know, you’re talking about the newborn stuff like getting that in early, like if taking your baby for a walk, can help you postpartum, you know, if you’re obviously delivered a baby.

 

00;13;37;14 – 00;13;42;24

Dr. Mona

I think so many moms sometimes feel they have to be stuck in doors and like, no, no, no, get yourself outside. That’s okay.

 

00;13;42;27 – 00;14;00;27

Jessica

Totally. And you can combine them. So all of these things will look different at each age and stage. Right. So like these five non-negotiables will look very different in the newborn stage than they will when your child’s 3 or 4 in the newborn stage, right. You can go for a walk that’s getting outside and your baby can nap, which is great.

 

00;14;01;04 – 00;14;17;18

Jessica

And just in terms of mental health, postpartum, which is another favorite topic of mine. You’re getting the benefits for yourself too. So it’s like, you know, you’re combining all of these benefits. Then as your child’s older, maybe outdoor time obviously won’t align with nap time. It’s going to be a separate time of day. So it changes.

 

00;14;17;21 – 00;14;29;27

Dr. Mona

So I would love to take one of those non-negotiables and maybe give an example of how you can implement that in the early stages, like maybe an infancy newborn, and then also how you would implement in toddler whichever of the five that you like.

 

00;14;29;29 – 00;14;47;14

Jessica

Yeah. Okay. So bedtime in the very, very early stages, bedtime itself is typically a little bit later. If we’re talking to simply about the time on the clock, it typically is a little bit later in the night. So between like, you know, 8 to 9 or even 10 or 11 p.m.. And in terms of a bedtime routine, it’s super, super simple.

 

00;14;47;14 – 00;15;05;02

Jessica

In the early days, you don’t have to do anything fancy. So a really simple bedtime routine would literally be like maybe a wipe down if you’re babies, you know, a little bit dirty, but which they won’t be because they’re a newborn. And then change their diaper PJs and swaddle them, feed them, and then they go to sleep.

 

00;15;05;03 – 00;15;27;19

Jessica

That’s it. As your baby gets a little bit older, what happens is in terms of sleep, sleep and the sleep schedules, sleep needs, it changes a bit. And as your baby gets closer to, let’s say, 4 or 5 months, six months, bedtime will shift a little bit earlier into the night. So it should be around 7:08 p.m. and the bedtime routine may include a few more steps.

 

00;15;27;19 – 00;15;45;14

Jessica

So this is when I do encourage or to be a little bit more of structure into that bedtime routine, because it cues your baby to expect sleep to come next. And that’s one of the great benefits of it. So that may include at this age, if they’re eating that, it may include baths because they’ll get really messy. So be back.

 

00;15;45;14 – 00;16;07;20

Jessica

Then. The same simple steps like change their diaper. Maybe you’re doing a massage with lotion, I love that. Then maybe, you know, PJs asleep sack I should have said bottle should have come first. Or bottle or breastfeed. That should actually have come first. Because at this age, we’d like to do something more like a song and a cuddle, before we lay them down for sleep so you can see it again.

 

00;16;07;20 – 00;16;18;23

Jessica

The order and the steps can look different from family to family. It’s really about what works for your family and then having some sort of consistency around that from day to day.

 

00;16;18;25 – 00;16;35;29

Dr. Mona

And in the toddler years. You know, I agree, early in the toddler years, it really can help them when they’re refusing early. Like I think, you know, obviously in the infancy period, you may not see it as much because you’re like, oh, I’m just doing the routine and they’ll go to bed. Or maybe they won’t. But like I have, you know, at the time of this recording, I have a 29 month old.

 

00;16;35;29 – 00;16;57;26

Dr. Mona

And when he is refusing sleep, one of the biggest things that we are so consistent about is the routine. And again, it’s not. Sometimes the time will be off like we’ve talked about, but it’s like, hey, we’re going to have a milk because sometimes he wants his milk before bedtime and then we’re going to do a bath, and then mommy or daddy are going to read you two, but you’re going to, you know, read the two books and then we’re or brushing teeth gets in there too.

 

00;16;58;03 – 00;17;26;20

Dr. Mona

Hygiene obviously is included. And then you are going to go to bed. And sometimes that means he doesn’t want to go to bed, sometimes he will. But it’s the consistency that children will get with the repetition, which I think that, you know, I really hope parents realize when they listen to this is that that routine offers repetition, and repetition is consistency, and that’s what makes them actually make changes in a, you know, if they’re regressing in a routine or something like routine helps everything, like I guess.

 

00;17;26;22 – 00;17;27;16

Dr. Mona

No, no.

 

00;17;27;18 – 00;17;34;13

Jessica

Yeah, totally. And you’re so right. The toddler years, it’s so normal to have a little bit of what I call yes pushback. Right.

 

00;17;34;13 – 00;17;35;03

Dr. Mona

Like, yes.

 

00;17;35;03 – 00;17;58;02

Jessica

Their personality, they’re allowed to not want to do something that’s, yes, normal. But yes, the routine of having a consistent routine really helps because if they’re asking for something or they want to change something, you can kind of blame the routine instead of having to give them some sort of roundabout answer as to why you can’t or can do something that’s really perfect in the toddler years.

 

00;17;58;04 – 00;18;14;24

Dr. Mona

I love it. And so in your opinion, like, these are great, when would you say that we can break the routine? Because I know you have these non-negotiables, but maybe even using your real life example for people understand that we’re not some, you know, that we’re not always perfect with everything. Like when would you say, hey, let’s just break the routine.

 

00;18;14;24 – 00;18;20;11

Dr. Mona

Routines are great, but you got to give yourself if you want some break here. When would you say that would happen?

 

00;18;20;13 – 00;18;43;05

Jessica

Totally. And this is very, very, very loud. Like, I don’t want people. Yes. This isn’t allowed. I like to say like, follow the 8020 rule, which is like, you know, 80% of the time you’re trying to stick to at your best you can and 20% of the time it’s totally fine to change it. My general rule of thumb is like when you’re home and it’s a normal like I put that in air quotes day, stick to your routines.

 

00;18;43;05 – 00;19;03;03

Jessica

But if anything is different. So let’s say you’re traveling. That’s a big one. You’re not at home like you’re traveling somewhere else. Or your child sick. Those are two big ones where it’s totally okay to change it up. Like for example, when we’re traveling and we have travel days with my son, we are doing snacks all day long and that’s just to keep him happy, right?

 

00;19;03;03 – 00;19;24;05

Jessica

Like, yeah, and that’s fine. But then when we get to our destination ideally, or when we eventually get back home, we don’t have snacks all day long anymore. Right? Same when they’re sick. If they’re sick, you’re usually the eating, you know, changes. They have less of an appetite or they want more comfort foods. If they’re a little younger, they want more bottle or they want to, you know, just differences and that’s fine.

 

00;19;24;07 – 00;19;37;07

Jessica

So really those are times when it’s totally fine. And I would argue that having a routine for like the typical days actually does allow you more flexibility to go off of it because, you know, you can then just come back to it.

 

00;19;37;10 – 00;19;57;07

Dr. Mona

Yes. Oh, that is the power of the routine, which is what this episode is, is that when you create that sort of expectation and you create that sort of, okay, this is what’s happening and there’s a regression because of travel or regression, because of time zone changes or illness, it’s going to be easier to get back into that routine.

 

00;19;57;07 – 00;20;15;08

Dr. Mona

Not that it’s going to be like a snap and it’s going to happen, but I completely agree with you. I’ve seen it. I’ve seen that happen. And what you said about like, travel, like going back to your getting outside tip, like even if you’re traveling across time zone, the routine of your non-negotiable of getting outdoors in the sun can really help with the circadian rhythms in a new time zone.

 

00;20;15;24 – 00;20;24;25

Dr. Mona

So just, you know, really utilizing those things that, you know, just mentioned is so helpful in so many different situations that you may find yourselves in as families. I love it.

 

00;20;24;28 – 00;20;43;29

Jessica

Yeah. And I also, I think another example that’s super easy to kind of like, understand is let’s say bedtime, for example, if you are traveling and you’re staying at a family’s house or you’re staying at a hotel or whatever, you can kind of like replicate your bedtime routine as best you can, there, even if you arrive late. Or the time zone zones different.

 

00;20;43;29 – 00;21;05;10

Jessica

Like we just flew across country to the East Coast. So that was a time change from Colorado and we arrived late. It was 11 p.m. East Coast time, and that’s 9 p.m. here, but we still kind of replicated a mini routine. We did the same number of books, we did the same sleep sack, we did the same song, and my son really understood it’s bedtime even though we’re in place.

 

00;21;05;10 – 00;21;08;29

Jessica

So it’s like so simple. But it really does help.

 

00;21;09;01 – 00;21;26;06

Dr. Mona

Yeah. And again, you said it perfectly that that’s exactly how we’ve managed all this traveling. Not that we’ve done so much in this pandemic, but we’ve traveled a fair bit across time zones to California from Florida or, you know, that’s kind of the furthest we’ve gone. But yes. And it creates, again, that expectation for that child.

 

00;21;26;08 – 00;21;52;10

Dr. Mona

And, you know, I want to be clear that it doesn’t mean that it’s going to be perfect, like, because remember, routines don’t mean that everything’s going to be hunky dory, that your child’s going to eat everything and sleep perfectly. And that’s not any expectation. I, I’m sure Jessica has as well, but it absolutely does help facilitate the ability to get into some sort of routine, you know, obviously some sort of ability to, you know, avoid the picky eating and get that kid back to being, you know, a sleeper and stuff like that.

 

00;21;52;10 – 00;22;09;20

Dr. Mona

But it is it is at the core for sure. Routines are always where I go first, like you said, when you’re, managing eating issues, it’s the core of anything I discuss for sleep, for feeding, and for behavior like tantrums. Right? Like if a kid is not having an expectation of routine, they’re more likely to have meltdowns and they’re more likely to be grazers.

 

00;22;09;20 – 00;22;14;22

Dr. Mona

And it really, really has this whole mind body spirit benefit, for sure.

 

00;22;14;24 – 00;22;33;22

Jessica

Yes, totally. And I agree, the goal is not perfection, nor is that possible in parenting. I am the first to say that. Yeah, but yeah, it’s definitely just like the basic first line of defense for any issues. But I always encourage parents to kind of go to this first before trying anything else like drastic.

 

00;22;33;24 – 00;22;50;28

Dr. Mona

I agree. Oh, this is so wonderful. I mean, again, I hope people really understand the benefit of the routine and how to make it more enjoyable. You know, with your people that you help on your platform and your services. What would you say is like one barrier when parents do some work with you or talk to you like when they’re like, do they just not know where to start?

 

00;22;50;28 – 00;22;57;07

Dr. Mona

Or are they just concerned that’s not going to work for their kid? What would you say is the biggest barrier for them starting a routine in the first place?

 

00;22;57;09 – 00;23;18;01

Jessica

Yeah, I’m trying to think of this. So I do get a lot of questions about this. I think one of the barriers is kind of just like people get overwhelmed by thinking that it’s a lot more difficult than I think it really is. Right. And that mixed with where to start, like some parents actually feel like my whole life is chaos.

 

00;23;18;03 – 00;23;43;01

Jessica

We’re not doing any of this. And when I actually end up talking to them, they’re actually doing more routines than they think. So it’s a lot of it is like they’re actually realizing, oh, wait, I actually am already doing a little bit of this. And so where can I just like, add maybe a little bit more? One question I get a lot and I’m sure you do too, is parents who have more than one child that can be difficult of like, okay, but how do I manage the different routines for each of their ages?

 

00;23;43;03 – 00;23;52;20

Jessica

That’s hard, especially if it’s a single parent or their parenting solo. If they have a partner but they’re not home? That’s definitely tricky. I get asked about that a lot and it changes well too.

 

00;23;52;21 – 00;24;10;00

Dr. Mona

Yeah, and that’s actually that would be a great topic for another episode. We can have a do a second, a second part to this about routines. I mean, I’m solo with one child many days because my husband works evenings a lot. So and then we have a dog. Not that a dog is as hard as a kid, but it’s like, you know, getting the dog walked and getting the dog fed, and then he wants to go out.

 

00;24;10;00 – 00;24;39;29

Dr. Mona

And then I have to get Ryan down. And, you know, there’s always some sort of excitement happening in the morning. But that’s absolutely a great place. I this is so wonderful. You know, I like to do this at the end of every episode before, you know, you share where people can find you. We’ve already talked about, you know, your non-negotiables and where you kind of, say that, hey, this let’s be a little more lenient on routines going along that what would you say is your biggest overall parenting high and parenting low, like things that you’ve said as so far as a parent that you’re like, I, I’m really proud of myself for

 

00;24;39;29 – 00;24;44;26

Dr. Mona

doing this. And then something that you’re like, I’m not. So, you know, proud of this. So much from it.

 

00;24;44;28 – 00;25;03;29

Jessica

Yeah. These are such good questions. I actually like I try to reflect on this a lot because parenting is I will say it’s the hardest thing I’ve ever done. Becoming a mom for me was not easy. It was like a huge identity shift, something that I’m looking back. So my son at the time of this recording is 20 months old.

 

00;25;03;29 – 00;25;26;28

Jessica

So he’s he’ll be two in August. One of my like I almost like cry when I think about it, but one of the biggest like things I’m proud of is honestly like surviving the early postpartum days in the middle of a global pandemic. Yeah, like you were the same. Like, it is insane how this generation of us with young kids, what we are doing, like we’re still doing it.

 

00;25;27;01 – 00;25;30;13

Jessica

I feel like it’s unprecedented. I don’t know, maybe not. There’s always been difficult.

 

00;25;30;13 – 00;25;31;05

Dr. Mona

And it.

 

00;25;31;05 – 00;25;54;07

Jessica

Lives in history, but that is like what I’m proud of is just like, we’re doing it, you know, like we’re surviving it to get a little bit more like specific. I think looking at my son and the way he is now, another thing I’m very proud of myself for continuing to be consistent about is I think we have a really strong relationship, positive relationship with food.

 

00;25;54;10 – 00;26;11;07

Jessica

That was like one of my goals was to really establish like a happy, joyful meal time experience for him. So bringing the fun into that I still try to do every day and then let’s see the low. Okay. A lot of.

 

00;26;11;07 – 00;26;28;19

Dr. Mona

Things. Oh yeah, well, I’m asking this question because I love, again, sharing the ups and downs and the highs and lows is so important because we know that, you know, whenever I have professional guests on, we know that we know the things in our area of expertise, but we’re also human. We’re also learning. And through the learning is when we get make the biggest breakthroughs.

 

00;26;28;19 – 00;26;34;18

Dr. Mona

So I love this next one because I just think people will learn from our lows that we share, you know? Totally. I mean.

 

00;26;34;18 – 00;26;58;18

Jessica

I have so many I’m I’m the most imperfect parent ever. I love again, I do share like really raw, honest truths about motherhood on my Instagram. I’m totally vulnerable a lot of the time there. But, you know, there’s so many things like I feel like I’m not. I said this before, but like, I’m not an activity mom. Like my son is like never doing anything that’s like, remotely resembles like a craft or like an activity.

 

00;26;58;18 – 00;27;25;02

Jessica

And it’s funny because as an OT, a lot of Okies I know are super crafty and that that’s not me. So he’s literally like constantly, just like wandering around the house, like he’s usually messy. He’s oftentimes not even wearing clothing like it seems a little chaotic. I love that. And like, yeah, I’m trying to think what else? Like even just today I shared a picture of us in the car and one of my followers told me, oh, your car seats are not set up properly like or it’s not fitted.

 

00;27;25;02 – 00;27;35;02

Jessica

So like I’m still learning all these basic little things that like, you’re not expected to be perfect or to know. Yeah, and all that I don’t know. Those are two for now. I could probably keep I love it.

 

00;27;35;05 – 00;27;51;22

Dr. Mona

Oh, I love this part of my podcast. I love all the educational stuff. But I love like learning from my guest about that stuff because it’s so true. And it’s good to be imperfect. I mean, that whole concept of perfection I already don’t love, but like, that’s how you learn, right? That’s how we get better and that’s how we say, yeah, I have so much to learn.

 

00;27;51;22 – 00;28;07;06

Dr. Mona

And I’m really excited about it. It’s not anything like an ego issue. It’s like, no, I have so much to learn about the world and my role as a mom and my identity as a mom and all the other identities I have. So I love those answers. I appreciate you answering that. You know, off the cuff here.

 

00;28;07;22 – 00;28;16;11

Dr. Mona

So where can everyone find you? I know your Instagram is rooted in routine, but if you want to say you know your Instagram and what resources you have, again for our listeners today.

 

00;28;16;13 – 00;28;36;22

Jessica

Sure. So I’m very active on Instagram. Again, my account is at Rooted in Routine. You can find me there. I share lots of education tips, strategies for routines. I also share a lot of personal stuff, which I love doing. And then my website, rooted in routine.com has more information on me and some of my products and services.

 

00;28;36;22 – 00;28;55;11

Jessica

So right now I have digital routine guides for purchase. So this is like an e-book. So for each stage of your baby and your toddler’s life, I have a guide that you can kind of like purchase and just really read through about an overview snapshot of what routines should look like at each age. And then another topic.

 

00;28;55;11 – 00;29;06;20

Jessica

We didn’t talk about this today, but one of my favorite topics is helping parents with potty training potty learning. So I do have a potty training course, a virtual online course that teaches my method for that as well.

 

00;29;06;23 – 00;29;26;03

Dr. Mona

And I will be attaching all of this to the show notes so that everyone has it. And Jessica, again, thank you for joining me today. This was such a pleasure. I hope to have you on again. I’m sure we will come on to talk about how to manage with more than one sibling is. That’s a great question. And obviously opens up, different things to consider.

 

00;29;26;05 – 00;29;27;22

Dr. Mona

But thank you for joining me.

 

00;29;27;25 – 00;29;32;15

Jessica

Thank you so much. This was such a fun conversation. I feel like we could have talked forever.

 

00;29;32;18 – 00;29;52;13

Dr. Mona

Yes. And thank you for everyone for listening today. Remember to write a review if you found this helpful. I’ll give a shout out to Jessica on Instagram. Tag her, tag me and we will talk to you next week for another episode. Thank you for tuning in for this week’s episode. As always, please leave a review. Share this episode with a friend.

 

00;29;52;13 – 00;30;01;26

Dr. Mona

Share it on your social media. Make sure to follow me at PedsDocTalk on Instagram and subscribe to my YouTube channel. PedsDocTalk TV. We’ll talk to you soon.