Have you ever felt the crushing weight of looking at your monthly bank statement and realizing your childcare bill costs more than your housing? It is a staggering reality facing modern families, but why is a system so crucial to our society treated like a personal luxury instead of essential infrastructure?

In this episode, I sit down with working mom and leading childcare advocate Paige Connell to pull back the curtain on the skyrocketing costs and systemic failures of American childcare. Paige shares her viral journey of transparency, explains how the math of the current system forces women out of the workforce, and dismantles the oversimplified myths about simply relying on family or grandparents for help.

• The Viral Truth: Why breaking the taboo of discussing exact childcare costs resonated with millions of families online.

• The Sneaky Reality of Public School: Why childcare stress doesn’t end at kindergarten and the hidden shock of summer camps and school breaks.

• The Real Economic Hit to Women: How temporary gaps in a career to handle childcare shortages cause permanent, long-term damage to women’s salaries and retirement.

• Dismantling the Grandparent Narrative: Why relying on aging or working family members is a short-sighted and often dismissive answer to a policy problem.

• Childcare as Infrastructure: Why an economy built on capitalism is failing itself by pulling productive parents out of the workforce.

• How to Be “Squeaky”: Tangible ways parents can advocate for changes within their corporate workplaces and local town levels.

• A Magic Wand Reform: Paige’s three essential national shifts regarding paid leave, subsidized care, and workplace flexibility to completely transform family life.

Connect with Paige Connell on Instagram @sheisapaigeturner and visit her site ⁠www.sheisapaigeturner.com/ ⁠

00:00 – Introduction & The Reality of Childcare Costs

02:18 – Page’s Journey: Going Viral & Advocating for Change

03:48 – The Hidden Expenses: Beyond Preschool to Public School Years

05:07 – The Broad Financial & Emotional Impact on Families

07:54 – The Mental Load & Work Flexibility Challenges

09:23 – Dr. Mona Shares Her Personal Childcare Expense Story

11:15 – Disproportionate Effects on Women & Career Trajectories

13:58 – Why Alternative Care (Like Grandparents) Isn’t Always the Answer

17:15 – Systemic Issues: Why America Lacks Childcare Infrastructure

19:24 – Logistical Nightmares: School Calendars vs. Work Hours

21:56 – Actionable Advice & Reassurance for Struggling Parents

24:34 – 3 Key Changes Needed to Fix the Childcare Crisis

27:14 – Closing Thoughts & How to Connect

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00;00;00;04 – 00;00;19;07

Paige Connell

Nobody was being super transparent about how much they were paying for child care, because so often I think we’re told we don’t talk about that, right? We don’t ask people how much their mortgages, we don’t ask them how much they pay for child care. That’s private. That’s their problem, not yours. And so in saying it out loud, I think so many families and mothers in particular resonated.

 

00;00;19;08 – 00;00;26;12

Paige Connell

They said, oh my gosh, us too.

 

00;00;26;14 – 00;00;48;24

Dr. Mona

Welcome back to the show. It’s Doctor Mona, your online pediatrician, confidante, mom and friend for all things parenting and child health and development. Before we get into this conversation, thank you for continuing to support the show. Every time you watch, listen, subscribe, share all the things you know. You really help this whole community grow and that means a lot to me.

 

00;00;48;24 – 00;01;08;04

Dr. Mona

PS doctor gives me so much purpose in my career and you’re helping me help more people. So thank you. Okay, let’s talk about the thing nobody wants to sell out. Are you paying more for child care than you pay for your mortgage or rent? Have you ever sat down and done the math and thought, wait, is it even worth it for me to work?

 

00;01;08;06 – 00;01;30;12

Dr. Mona

Have you looked at your bank account after daycare pick up and wondered how any of this is sustainable? If you have today’s guest gets it. Today’s guest is Paige Connell, known online as. She is a page turner, a working mom of four who shares relatable content on TikTok and Instagram about the mental load, motherhood and the real cost of having children in America.

 

00;01;30;14 – 00;01;54;08

Dr. Mona

She has worked in daycares herself, so she has lived the crisis from both sides, as a provider and as a parent. Her honesty about spending over $5,000 a month on child care went viral, and her work has been featured everywhere from Scary Mommy to the Today Show to Good Morning America. If you feel like you are barely staying afloat with just keeping all the basics going for your family, you are not alone.

 

00;01;54;09 – 00;02;18;23

Dr. Mona

This conversation is going to be proof of that. So stick around and if this episode makes you feel seen, do me a favor. Subscribe, download and share it on social. Tag us at the PedsDocTalk podcast, PedsDocTalk and tag Paige at. She is a page turner, so we can keep this conversation going together and join the conversation on our social media channels at the PedsDocTalk podcast.

 

00;02;19;00 – 00;02;23;29

Dr. Mona

Let’s get into it.

 

00;02;24;01 – 00;02;25;24

Dr. Mona

Thank you so much for joining me today, Paige.

 

00;02;25;25 – 00;02;27;12

Paige Connell

Thanks for having me.

 

00;02;27;14 – 00;02;47;25

Dr. Mona

I am so excited to connect. I also am very excited like that origin story of how I met you of, like, seeing your face everywhere. Who is this girl? Finally meeting you in person, following you along. And now we’re connected. So we met in person. And now I get to talk to you on the show. And you, your become a leading voice in highlighting the childcare crisis in the United States.

 

00;02;47;25 – 00;02;56;06

Dr. Mona

But this started with your own personal story. So can you share what pushed you to speak out and start using your platform for advocacy and the content that you provide?

 

00;02;56;11 – 00;03;19;08

Paige Connell

Sure. So I was a mom creator. You know, I started my content with no real intention to build any specific kind of page or policy advocacy, any of that. I started just as a mom sharing my experience, and I remember I stitched a video where somebody from Canada said how much they were paying for child care, and she asked, how much are you paying?

 

00;03;19;10 – 00;03;50;11

Paige Connell

And I just answered, I just said, you know, this is how much my family’s paying for child care. And I think I broke down the cost. I said, you know, daycare costs as much, a nanny costs as much. And I just kind of shared what we were going through. And it went viral and the response was wild. I was not expecting it in any way, but it really kind of jumpstarted this conversation because I think at the time this was almost two years ago, nobody was being super transparent about how much they were paying for child care, because so often, I think we’re told similar to like our salaries.

 

00;03;50;13 – 00;04;07;17

Paige Connell

We don’t talk about that, right? We don’t ask people how much their mortgages. We don’t ask them how much they pay for child care. That’s private. That’s their problem, not yours. And so in saying it out loud, I think so many families and mothers in particular resonated. They said, oh my gosh, us too. How are we supposed to afford this?

 

00;04;07;17 – 00;04;28;09

Paige Connell

How can we have more kids? I was going to have a second and I can’t afford it. And it just started this conversation. And I have a unique perspective because I have not only obviously experienced childcare from a parent’s perspective, but I’ve also worked in daycares. I worked in daycares for about six years. I was a nanny, and so I have been both a child care provider, but also a parent on the other side of the crisis.

 

00;04;28;14 – 00;04;40;07

Dr. Mona

I didn’t know that. I didn’t know that you had the experience from the other side. I knew, obviously from your mom being a mom and having your children. So at the time that this video went viral, how many of your kids were needing childcare cost because they weren’t in school yet or public school?

 

00;04;40;09 – 00;05;05;24

Paige Connell

Sure. So my oldest was in kindergarten at the time. My youngest three needed childcare, and so we had a variety of different childcare situations happening because I gave birth during the pandemic twice in 2020 and 2022. And so because of that, there was a lack of childcare. As we know, the pandemic really created this situation where we saw the cracks in the infrastructure that is childcare and childcare centers were closing.

 

00;05;05;24 – 00;05;27;20

Paige Connell

They were limiting their hours, they were losing teachers, closing classrooms, all of these things. And so I was unable to get my youngest two children into childcare until each of them were two years old. So at the time I had posted that video, I believe my third child had just started or was about to just start childcare and my baby was still at home.

 

00;05;27;20 – 00;05;49;14

Paige Connell

We had a part time nanny and that was the only really way we could make it work. I was lucky to work from home, and so I had a part time nanny who had come just for a few hours a day, and then I would keep my fingers crossed for a good nap and work. And my husband was home at three and so we just really kind of were juggling childcare ourselves, until we were able to get her in when she was two years old.

 

00;05;49;15 – 00;06;09;19

Paige Connell

I will also say a common misconception. Childcare ends when kids enter public school age or kindergarten. If you’re in a dual income home like we are, or even a single parent home and you need childcare, we have to utilize afterschool care, summer camp, all of these things that are also quite expensive and often left out of the conversation.

 

00;06;09;21 – 00;06;29;06

Paige Connell

But I find that so many parents are super prepared for the high cost of daycare. They are not adequately prepared for the high cost of childcare when their kids exit daycare, and the complexities that come with that. And so that was something I also started sharing as I was going through this experience, because I think many people just don’t quite understand or have all of the information.

 

00;06;29;07 – 00;06;36;00

Dr. Mona

Yeah. And you’ve talked openly about spending over a $5,000 a month on childcare, which is more than your mortgage. Is that the video that went viral?

 

00;06;36;00 – 00;06;37;16

Paige Connell

It is. That was the first one.

 

00;06;37;18 – 00;06;56;21

Dr. Mona

So, you know, that number is staggering for most families. And I’m going to share mine after this. Okay. But what does the kind what does that kind of financial strain due to a household emotionally professional and logistically I know many of us can relate, but how would you kind of explain it to someone who’s like, oh, come on, like that’s it’s just the price you pay for having a child.

 

00;06;56;28 – 00;06;58;04

Dr. Mona

What is the real impact here?

 

00;06;58;08 – 00;07;15;10

Paige Connell

Okay, so I think there’s a couple things and it’s a layered conversation. First and foremost, child care is rising faster than pretty much everything else. I think it’s rising at two the rate of inflation. So when we think about how people are really upset about the cost of eggs, imagine that childcare has gone up even more than that, right?

 

00;07;15;10 – 00;07;37;22

Paige Connell

Families are seeing 5% to 20% increases every single year and how much they’re paying for childcare. And that’s like on a weekly rate, right? So it is rising incredibly fast. And so no matter how much you prepared, you know, I had my first children in 2019. The cost is vastly different in 2025. And so there was no way for me to prepare for how expensive it would be today.

 

00;07;37;22 – 00;07;59;02

Paige Connell

No, no amount of planning was going to prepare me for a global pandemic and all of these things. And so I like to point that out because I think oftentimes people say, hey, you knew you were having a kid. You know, childcare was expensive. But also, you know, it is rising faster than housing, than groceries. All of the things that we are all very concerned about, I think everybody is concerned about this.

 

00;07;59;02 – 00;08;21;09

Paige Connell

And so childcare in all 50 states is more expensive than rent for two children. It is more expensive, I think, for mortgages in 45 states it’s more expensive than in-state college tuition. It is more expensive than the things that we typically think as our most expensive, bill, essentially at the end of the day. And so I want people to kind of put that into perspective, which is we’re hearing a lot about how people can’t buy homes.

 

00;08;21;15 – 00;08;22;24

Paige Connell

People can’t afford groceries.

 

00;08;22;28 – 00;08;23;13

Dr. Mona

Well, people.

 

00;08;23;13 – 00;08;45;18

Paige Connell

Also cannot afford childcare. And there’s a huge conversation going on about the falling birth rates. But if people cannot afford childcare, they cannot afford to have children. And so the math people are doing is, okay. Well, what how many children can we have? What are the age gaps going to be? Maybe I can have two, but I have to wait till the oldest is in public school to be able to afford daycare for the younger one.

 

00;08;45;20 – 00;09;05;20

Paige Connell

I had a woman message me and say we had twins and it was financially devastating. We could not afford two children in childcare, especially not at infant rates which are extremely high. And so as families are saying, we can’t save for college because we’re paying for childcare and childcare is more expensive than college, right? So all of these things, are impacting families.

 

00;09;05;20 – 00;09;19;24

Paige Connell

They’re not putting enough money away for retirement because they’re paying for childcare. And so, you know, it is not as simple as saying, you know, you’re a parent. This is your problem. You should deal with it. This has huge impact, not just on the individual family, but on our economy and society as a whole.

 

00;09;19;28 – 00;09;35;26

Dr. Mona

Yeah. I mean, the stress that it comes with, right? Like, how am I who’s going to watch my child when I, you know, have an issue? And you brought up the point about like, it never really ends because even if a child is in school, even if a child is, you know, past that age of needing, like the full time nanny or, you know, preschool when they get sick.

 

00;09;35;26 – 00;09;54;00

Dr. Mona

A lot of us in America don’t have PTO, don’t have the ability to take the time off. So now you’re taking your own vacation days or your own sick day to care for your own child. I mean, the whole system is multi-layered, right? And so sometimes then it becomes and what I see is that we’re sending children to school or preschool sick, right?

 

00;09;54;00 – 00;10;16;22

Dr. Mona

Meaning because the parent can’t take the time off and then that becomes a issue with spreading germs. And it’s like, I see this from a lot of my patients, right? Like that. They’re just struggling to even keep their kids in school. And then when there’s inconvenience and it’s such a sad reality that when our kids get sick or there’s an issue with our children’s health, that the first thing we think about is stress about like, well, not the kid’s health.

 

00;10;16;26 – 00;10;36;26

Dr. Mona

We think about the logistics of what am I going to do for work? And that is really upsetting, like the lack of flexibility and the lack of being able to just do the normal parenting things that we have to do because of not having the accessible care for the child is emotionally draining. And then you think about the cost of like, how am I going to afford this?

 

00;10;37;03 – 00;10;56;10

Dr. Mona

It’s like every layer, you know, I talk so much about being a mindful parent and like, not reacting to your children and responding, how are we going to be centered parents, grounded parents when on our brain we’re thinking about how am I going to afford this? Where is my paycheck coming from? Who’s going to watch my kid if I get sick?

 

00;10;56;10 – 00;11;03;00

Dr. Mona

Who’s going to watch my kid if they get sick? Like, all of that is just adding to the baggage that so many American parents are dealing with.

 

00;11;03;00 – 00;11;11;28

Paige Connell

Every day. Yeah, they don’t have enough. You know, I think back to this past year, my youngest came home with a stomach bug. And if you’re a parent, you know, if one goes down.

 

00;11;12;00 – 00;11;13;13

Dr. Mona

They won’t go down alone, you know?

 

00;11;13;20 – 00;11;29;16

Paige Connell

And it was this slow progression where, you know, she was home for three days. And the day that she was able to go back to school, her sister got sick. And then she was home for three days, and then her next sister got sick. Yes. And then then my husband got sick. And there’s not enough PTO or sick time to cover that.

 

00;11;29;16 – 00;11;47;11

Paige Connell

When you have one two children and knowing that they get what is it on average like 5 to 6 colds a year, there’s not enough time and people are at risk of losing jobs if they don’t have sick time available to them. And so this is not just something that is as simple as even finding a flexible workplace, right?

 

00;11;47;11 – 00;12;08;13

Paige Connell

We don’t have enough policy to support the needs of parents. And the majority of homes these days are dual income homes. They are. And so how do we support people in that situation where they’re already struggling to pay the bills? And then they have this added stress of, well, what will I do? You know, my friend’s daycare closed for three weeks because the sprinklers went off in the middle of the night and it was a panic.

 

00;12;08;13 – 00;12;25;03

Paige Connell

It’s like, what do we do? The building’s not open. There is no childcare. I still have a job and my job does not care. And so what do we do in that situation? How do we adjust? How do we accommodate this? As workplaces, as a society, as families, it’s incredibly difficult.

 

00;12;25;11 – 00;12;40;09

Dr. Mona

Yeah. I’m about to share our childcare costs, which I think I’ve only shared once on like moms first, I think is like an advocacy organization. I shared it there and people are like, what the heck? And I need to provide some context. So I need everyone to just take a breath and like, really center ourselves. I have two children.

 

00;12;40;09 – 00;13;02;21

Dr. Mona

One of them is five, one of them is almost two at the time of this recording, and we spend 7800 a month on childcare for two children. Okay. And the reason why I don’t share that is that there’s two things that come up. One is, will you have the money? What a privilege. Like, why are you complaining? I’m not denying that I have the privilege of being able to afford $7,800 in childcare.

 

00;13;02;28 – 00;13;22;08

Dr. Mona

What I will say is that that is money that we can’t have to save for a house. And we are struggling to buy a house in the community we live in right now because the the housing market is so bad. So speaking to how this is not just about childcare, everything’s expensive, right? So and so now it’s becoming, well, okay, I have this I need the flexibility of a nanny for my younger.

 

00;13;22;12 – 00;13;48;07

Dr. Mona

My older is in a is in a preschool that basically does you have to pay because it’s not covered. Right. And so then that’s what it is. And seven 800 is more than our rent because we rent right now and it is a lot. And now, you know, me and my husband at the time of this recording were thinking about moving, and I want to move to a place that has good public schools so that we do not have to think about private school, because if we stay here, we’re gonna have to think about private school, because South Florida does not have the best public school system.

 

00;13;48;09 – 00;14;06;20

Dr. Mona

And so thinking about that, you’re thinking about now, I’m going to have to pay private school and then now I have to think about two tuitions, and now I have to think about how this is never going to end. And I’m like, no, like, I want the higher cost of living for better schools. And it’s a big decision to make, and I am never going to deny the privilege that exists.

 

00;14;06;20 – 00;14;22;25

Dr. Mona

Right? What I’m dealing with is privilege, and I’m not going to deny that. But with it comes decision making of like, well, how are we going to afford the downpayment of the house? When is this going to ease up a bit? And so I that’s 7000 is more than I get paid as a pediatrician like a year. Right.

 

00;14;22;25 – 00;14;40;25

Dr. Mona

Like meaning I work as a reduced part time pediatrician. So basically I can quit working and take care of my kids. But then I can’t do with other passions, which is pedes doctor. All the travel that I have to do. So I need this set up, but I’m breaking even. Like I might as just not work. And I know that is a problem with a lot of people.

 

00;14;40;25 – 00;14;51;01

Dr. Mona

And you’ve spoken about this too, that it tends to be the woman who ends up deciding to leave the workforce. If it is that you know they are, the cost isn’t matching up. And I think you’ve seen that as well, right?

 

00;14;51;08 – 00;15;11;06

Paige Connell

Yes. I mean, there’s data to support this. And services show that women are twice as likely to adjust their careers to accommodate for gaps in childcare, not just the cost, but gaps. If you can’t find childcare, it’s women who are taking time off. It’s women who are leaving the workforce. And so this does it disproportionately impacts women. And we live also in a society that suggests that women should stay at home.

 

00;15;11;06 – 00;15;30;01

Paige Connell

Right. But it also ignores the fact that the work, you know, that you do as a pediatrician is incredibly valuable and important. And without you in that workforce, right, that that leaves people lacking. And yes, we cannot ignore that part of it. It’s not as simple as just staying home. And also that ignores the impact on women, right?

 

00;15;30;01 – 00;15;51;28

Paige Connell

What happens is women, when they leave the workforce, even if just for a short period of time, let’s say they just do it until their kid hits kindergarten. They miss out on career opportunities, on salary increases. They miss out on retirement savings. They miss out on benefits, Social security. And unfortunately, in our country, it is very difficult to reenter the workforce after a long gap in your career.

 

00;15;51;28 – 00;16;11;15

Paige Connell

And depending on industry, you might need, a license again, right? You might not be able to reenter the workforce in the same career. And so women tend to find themselves starting from scratch. They’re not able to reenter where they were. It’s as if everything they did before that is null and void. And so it puts women in this position where they are retiring later in life.

 

00;16;11;15 – 00;16;30;09

Paige Connell

They have higher risk of financial insecurity. And so this is a problem that is often seen as a women’s issue because it disproportionately impacts women. But it is not right. Men benefit just as much from childcare as women do. They need it just as much as we do. The economy needs it, and it’s shown to be, good ROI for businesses.

 

00;16;30;09 – 00;16;50;03

Paige Connell

When businesses provide childcare or subsidized childcare for their employees or give them benefits, it is good for business, it is good for employee retention. And so we know that to be true. We just don’t have the supports that we need for families. And I think also, you know, you alluded to privilege. And I think it’s really important to point out that, yes, we sit in a place of privilege.

 

00;16;50;03 – 00;17;04;04

Paige Connell

You know, I spend $70,000 a year in childcare right now. I sit in a place of privilege to be able to do that. I also live in the state with the highest cost of childcare and some of the highest cost of living, but also the best education and the best health care and all the things. Right. And so there’s trade off here.

 

00;17;04;06 – 00;17;27;01

Paige Connell

But I am in a privileged position to be able to pay for this. I have neighbors who are not making the same amount of money as I am, and they are unable to access child care. That is important to acknowledge. They don’t get a discounted rate. And even when there are vouchers available for for families, they are encountering the exact same issues we are, which is there’s a lack of space, there are not enough vouchers, spots for the children that need them.

 

00;17;27;01 – 00;17;44;22

Paige Connell

And so every single family and every single child is deserving of safe and affordable child care. And so even though we sit in a place of privilege and we can afford it, it means there’s so many families that can’t, right? There are so many families that are not accessing the childcare that they need to work the jobs that they have, whether it is shift work or whatever, that might be.

 

00;17;44;22 – 00;18;01;09

Paige Connell

I think you probably know, working at a hospital, a lot of nurses struggle to find childcare because they cannot find something that covers the 12 hour shift that they work. And so we have to think big picture about this. It is not an individual family issue. This is an issue we should all be thinking about.

 

00;18;01;12 – 00;18;17;14

Dr. Mona

Now let’s take a quick break to hear from our sponsors who support helps us keep bringing you this show. Oh, absolutely. And I’m as you were talking, I was looking up a company. And I think there’s a lot of companies that have been doing this, but there’s this I think you heard about the cake spawn. Yeah. What about that?

 

00;18;17;14 – 00;18;24;14

Dr. Mona

Right. And so then I remember seeing a video and I and that’s why I was looking it up while you’re talking about like them offering now at 30,000 a year, it’s.

 

00;18;24;14 – 00;18;25;02

Paige Connell

36.

 

00;18;25;02 – 00;18;43;08

Dr. Mona

Thousand. Yeah. It’s a year towards childcare, which I’m just like, oh my god. Like how how emotional must that have been for a lot of the employees to be like, thank you for this, this gift of flexibility. And I know we are never going to deny, like my husband and I look back at when we had our son, when we we had very limited childcare help.

 

00;18;43;08 – 00;19;01;13

Dr. Mona

And I I’m very I’m very vocal about explaining and showing value to my reality right now because it wasn’t always like this, right? I wasn’t always in this privileged state of being able to have this full time nanny who is so flexible, and Mary Poppins basically, and, and also have this access to a private like a, a pre-K school for my son.

 

00;19;01;20 – 00;19;23;08

Dr. Mona

But in the pandemic, when it was so hard to be a parent as it was because of isolation, we lost our nanny, right? We had one. We lost our nanny at around 15 when my son was 15 months, who started when he was four months. He was in full time public, or full time daycare, getting sick every week, as we all knew, and especially in that pandemic post-pandemic, when everything opened up every week.

 

00;19;23;08 – 00;19;39;29

Dr. Mona

And I had to cut back and I made that decision with my husband because he was making the higher salary, and I was like, it makes sense for me to cut back, right? And I also wanted to build Pedes doc talk, and it was hard for me, like, I, I didn’t want to cut back because what you had said, I am valuable to have being a pediatrician.

 

00;19;39;29 – 00;19;55;25

Dr. Mona

People needed a pediatrician during a pandemic, and yet I had to cut back. There was guilt. There was like, I’m going to be like, my patients won’t have me. I got that from patients. What are you doing with your other time? None of your business like it was, but it felt so shameful of like, where are you? Like, why are you not working?

 

00;19;55;25 – 00;20;13;10

Dr. Mona

I’m like, you don’t even want to. Here are my circumstances right now. And it all worked out for our family. And right now we are so grateful because we do have peace. We have our mental health is better. We’re able to work out more because we have solid childcare, but that is because it’s right now a reality.

 

00;20;13;10 – 00;20;38;04

Dr. Mona

We were so much more anxious. I went through depression and all of that was a reality of not having a support system, right? Because so many Americans can’t rely on grandma and grandpa because they’re also aging and dealing with their own medical issues. Or maybe they’re just not able to be that childcare help. And that’s I think people often think like, well, you know, utilize your family, utilize, grandpa and grandma, but or, you know, why don’t you just stay home?

 

00;20;38;04 – 00;20;49;07

Dr. Mona

How do those narratives oversimplify the reality and how do they perpetuate this sort of inequality, economic insecurity? When we say like, oh, just use this or do this, it just seems dismissive.

 

00;20;49;07 – 00;21;08;02

Paige Connell

I feel it is dismissive. And here’s the thing. A lot of people are using grandparents because they have no other option. You know, I know so many people who have grandparents who are helping. I mean, I think there’s a very strong narrative online, especially that grandparents are not as involved as they used to be. But the data shows that a lot of grandparents are providing full time child care, and they are not.

 

00;21;08;05 – 00;21;35;12

Paige Connell

I say grandparents, but it is. Grandmothers mostly provide child care, and so I do want to also speak to the fact that, again, this work disproportionately falls to women. So when we say grandparents, we typically mean grandma. And what we do in that situation that I do also think is somewhat harmful is we assume that family is inherently better for kids, too, when in reality, oftentimes being in a daycare setting or a preschool or a pre-K, even if it does cost money, is beneficial for for children.

 

00;21;35;12 – 00;21;36;08

Paige Connell

It builds.

 

00;21;36;10 – 00;21;37;05

Dr. Mona

And.

 

00;21;37;07 – 00;21;57;01

Paige Connell

Social skills for my daughter who had a speech delay, being in school helped her exponentially. It was amazing son. Amazing. And we ignore all that. We ignore the fact that most, daycare teachers have vast amounts of education in the field, and they have a curriculum that they follow. And so all of these things can’t be ignored as well, right?

 

00;21;57;05 – 00;22;18;03

Paige Connell

We oversimplify it and say they should stay with grandma families best. But sometimes actually being in a child care center is best for a child is what they developmentally need. But also to your point, it ignores the fact that a lot of grandparents are still working. We know that the retirement age keeps creeping up, they are still working, and a lot of people are having children later in life, so their parents are older.

 

00;22;18;08 – 00;22;36;13

Paige Connell

Maybe they’re not physically able to care for the grandchildren or health wise, they are not able to care for them. Maybe they don’t want to because they’re in their retirement and they had dreams of traveling the world, whatever it might be. I think all of those things are valid. I don’t think we should ever expect grandparents to provide unpaid child care in a full time capacity.

 

00;22;36;13 – 00;22;56;17

Paige Connell

I’m not saying they should never help us, but right. I think community is very important. We’re also no longer typically living near our parents, right? A lot of people have moved and relocated and families are spread out, and so they have to build a new village and figure out what that looks like. But there is a suggestion that we should be looking to family, because that’s what people have done historically.

 

00;22;56;23 – 00;23;15;00

Paige Connell

But also, I’m sure you can speak to this better than I can. The expectations on parents are higher these days to kind of what it looks like to be a quote unquote good parent, and how involved and hands on you need to be at all times. And, I think there’s data that shows that working mothers today spend more time with their kids than stay at home moms did in the 70s.

 

00;23;15;00 – 00;23;36;12

Paige Connell

Right? So we are also expected to be so much more involved, despite the fact we are also working full time and doing all of these things. And so of course, burnout is happening, of course, but something so I think it’s it’s not it’s not just one thing. Right? It’s an incredibly layered issue. And we ignore that fact often and just say, just stay home with the kids or just have grandma.

 

00;23;36;17 – 00;23;37;28

Paige Connell

And it’s just not that simple.

 

00;23;37;28 – 00;23;59;13

Dr. Mona

And it’s again, there’s so many layers to that. Like I always say, like, you can only make the decisions based on your circumstances, right? The problem is with the judgment out there is that many people who are judgmental just see that one moment or see that one scenario. They don’t understand the big picture. And it’s kind of like, why I am not judgmental is that I know that there’s so many nuances, whether it’s about childcare screens.

 

00;23;59;16 – 00;24;14;11

Dr. Mona

What are you feeding your kid? I can’t I don’t know what brought you to that moment. I have that big belief that like when we judge, we are judging a moment. We are judging only one side of the story and it’s not fair to them. It’s not fair to any of us to make that assumption. And like, I love it because you said it perfectly.

 

00;24;14;11 – 00;24;38;07

Dr. Mona

The aging, the fact that maybe there’s grandparents that don’t want to even do the childcare. I will speak honestly, that my mom and dad are beautiful human beings, and I love them like I love I love spending time with my mom, but she is not a good nanny or child care person. And she is very clear because when she sees what my nanny does, who is like seven years younger than my mom and she’s like, wow, like, how does she have the energy to do that?

 

00;24;38;07 – 00;24;56;24

Dr. Mona

I’m like, yeah, mom, you need your afternoon nap, which is literally when the kids wake up from their now. And I’m like, you can’t take an afternoon nap. Like, no, literally, I’m having my mom help me and all of a sudden she’s going upstairs for her nap. I’m like, wait, the kids are up like, I need you. So and I get that they’re older, you know, they’re, you know, they’re in their 70s now.

 

00;24;56;24 – 00;25;20;09

Dr. Mona

And they had that vision, like you said, of, reality of, doing their thing when they’re older in their retirement. And so I have, you know, for everyone listening, I have so many other podcasts about the grandparent parent dynamic and setting boundaries, but an important conversation, because even when we look at now, the government. Right. The government says things like, oh, you know, rely on this and there are some interviews about, yeah, grandma, drop them off at grandma grandpa’s.

 

00;25;20;14 – 00;25;38;03

Dr. Mona

You can’t do that. If grandpa is on dialysis. You can’t do that. If grandma is not able to or wants to take care of the kids because she doesn’t want to. I mean, I’m not forcing my kids onto someone that doesn’t want to take care of them. That is the worst thing we can do. I rather put them in a child care where they’re loved, nurtured with people who understand child development.

 

00;25;38;05 – 00;25;54;24

Dr. Mona

Yeah. And and don’t get me started on like, the different parenting approaches. Right? I mean, that’s totally, totally, you know, that segue into the US, you know, like there’s this unspoken belief, I think, that comes down from not only, you know, higher public officials on, like, policy about parents should figure it out, right. Like on their own.

 

00;25;54;24 – 00;26;08;01

Dr. Mona

Right. Like, yeah, just throw them off to grandma’s or whatever. Why do you think our country has failed to treat child care as an essential infrastructure, like getting roads better, schools, other aspects? And what’s the cost of that failure?

 

00;26;08;04 – 00;26;24;10

Paige Connell

Yeah, I mean, the cost is huge. I think again, until they are at issue and I think it often depends on what the current administration is, kind of what what topic is coming to the forefront. You know, I think a year ago, at the time of this recording, child care was a big part of the conversation. Now, you’re not really hearing about child care.

 

00;26;24;11 – 00;26;41;03

Paige Connell

They’re not talking about child care. There’s too many other things going on. Right. And so I think that is part of the struggle, which is, I think, to your point of even just like a varying ways of parenting between generations, there’s also a different expectation. There’s this idea that you pull yourself up by your bootstraps. We all did it.

 

00;26;41;03 – 00;26;56;25

Paige Connell

You can figure it out, too, but we’re living in a different reality. I think it’s the same thing to your point of, house hunting. I remember taking my parents to look at houses with me, and it was in a neighborhood they grew up in, and they were like, no way, no way. Anybody should ever pay this amount of money for this house.

 

00;26;57;03 – 00;27;15;16

Paige Connell

And I was like, this is on the cheap end. Everyone like, this is this is what homes cost. This is what we are dealing with. And I remember them being genuinely shocked and saying, I didn’t realize how bad this was. And because they haven’t had to do it in 30 plus years. Right. And so they’re not paying attention to the housing market, they’re not buying a house.

 

00;27;15;22 – 00;27;32;16

Paige Connell

And I think the same thing is true of the child care crisis. The average person who does not have a young child right now is not paying attention to the cost of child care, and they don’t understand the ramifications on the workforce, on the economy. Right. Our spending power decreases when we can’t afford child care, right? I can’t buy anything else.

 

00;27;32;16 – 00;27;51;24

Paige Connell

I have to pay for daycare. And so I think it is something that we ignore because we can and because there’s so many other things going on. I also think it is exacerbated. Right. So I think we can’t talk about one policy without the other. You could provide affordable child care and we would still see struggles because there’s still a lack of paid leave.

 

00;27;51;26 – 00;28;01;27

Paige Connell

Right. And so I think we need this holistic viewpoint on what it is that makes parenting possible in the US, what it looks like to build.

 

00;28;02;00 – 00;28;03;01

Dr. Mona

 

00;28;03;04 – 00;28;24;18

Paige Connell

Infrastructure around families and children. It is so incredibly important to be doing that and to think through all of the layers to this conversation. What can organizations be doing? What can policy be doing? What can we be doing within our communities? All of these things matter. And so yeah, I mean, the cost, it’s hard to put a cost on it, but it is a market failure rate.

 

00;28;24;24 – 00;28;40;08

Paige Connell

This is something that, economists point to as a huge market failure. We need this. This is infrastructure. This is not a want. This is a need for our society. And so I think it is something that unfortunately, I don’t know if right now in this current administration is going to be something that we’ll see happen for families.

 

00;28;40;08 – 00;29;00;18

Paige Connell

But, I say that I don’t want people to feel like there’s no hope. I think there are things we can do in our companies. There’s things we can do in our communities, in our state. Maybe federally, it’s not happening right now, but statewide, right. There are states that are doing things. There are towns that are doing things to implement change.

 

00;29;00;18 – 00;29;16;24

Paige Connell

And in specific ways. And so I think there is definitely still hope for what it could look like. But, obviously the dream, the goal is for every family in our country to have access to affordable childcare, paid leave so they can take adequate time off with their children. And the benefits would be huge.

 

00;29;16;27 – 00;29;30;28

Dr. Mona

Absolutely. I mean, we didn’t get into the, economic ramifications of how how amazing this could be. I mean, it would be phenomenal, right? We would have women also be able to stay in the workplace, not have to cut back if they don’t want to. I mean, some do, and that’s fine. But all of that would be good.

 

00;29;30;28 – 00;29;49;00

Dr. Mona

And it seems like such common sense, like it seems like for a country that values capitalism so much, you would want people to stay in a capitalistic world, and yet you’re pulling people out of it. Like, I’m like, you’re the you’re the country of capitalism. I’m like, why are you? This would benefit capitalism, like to have more people in the workforce and then staying home.

 

00;29;49;00 – 00;30;11;26

Dr. Mona

Right. And it would give it just it boggles my mind. And it really is a stressful point of, you know, contention for me because I’m like, just I want people to have the resources. And I know how valuable this this is to parental approach to their mental health in their parenting. Right? This is not like when I, I’m very big, as you know, if you follow me, that I talk about parenting, I talk about how to handle tantrums, picky eating.

 

00;30;11;26 – 00;30;38;03

Dr. Mona

But if parents are stressed about every aspect in their life, including how are they going to afford food, how who’s going to take care of the kids? They can’t focus on being a regulated parent for their child and approach tantrums in a nice, calm, grounded way. And it’s it’s cyclical. I mean, you can’t do that. And it’s just an obvious thing for me and why I care so much about policy and advocacy on top of all this, because I know that it’s a it’s a holistic approach to this.

 

00;30;38;03 – 00;30;57;11

Dr. Mona

And, you know, you have to talk. And you’ve talked so much about this, obviously, with that first video that went viral, all the things that you continue to do, not just about administration policy, but just in general. What’s been the most eye opening response you’ve received from other parents since you started speaking out? And is there a common thread of frustration or fear you keep hearing, or what is that common sentiment?

 

00;30;57;16 – 00;31;18;24

Paige Connell

Yeah, I think it’s one of those things where, you know, parents are caught very by surprise, by the high costs. Right? I think we were talking about how people who don’t have young kids are not thinking about the cost of childcare, even couples who are trying to conceive. Oftentimes they’re really focused on the trying to conceive part, and they haven’t done adequate planning for what childcare costs will look like.

 

00;31;18;24 – 00;31;33;03

Paige Connell

And they have a lack of information. You know, I think that’s a big part of what’s going on, too. In the same way, we don’t have salary transparency, we don’t really have transparency when it comes to the cost of childcare. I think it’s changing. We’re getting more resources here and if you know where to look, you can find it.

 

00;31;33;03 – 00;31;40;06

Paige Connell

But most people don’t know where to look. You don’t know that you can go to your government website and find every childcare center in their rates, because why would you know that? Right?

 

00;31;40;07 – 00;31;41;12

Dr. Mona

Who’s doing right?

 

00;31;41;14 – 00;32;05;18

Paige Connell

And so, you know, if you call a daycare and you ask for the rates, typically they make you come for a tour and they don’t give you the rates unless you come for a tour. And so it’s very difficult to plan and you can’t anticipate what the increases are going to be. So what I find from a lot of parents is that they struggle to keep up because when they enroll their child as an infant, their promise at the rate decreases when they’re a toddler or in preschool, but then it decreases.

 

00;32;05;18 – 00;32;33;13

Paige Connell

But the increase comes for the annual rate, and they’re back paying the same thing they were paying before. And so when they budgeted, they weren’t able to really actually account for what it was going to look like because you don’t know. And I think the same thing is true about, older kids. We talked about this briefly at the beginning, but I think one of the overwhelming things I hear from women in particular is that they were unprepared for how difficult it is to navigate kids who are in public school, because the public school calendar does not align with workplace expectations and hours.

 

00;32;33;13 – 00;32;44;03

Paige Connell

And so they find themselves juggling before school care, after school care, summer camp. All of these things are incredibly competitive to get into. Oh, so you’re signing on at midnight and trying to register them?

 

00;32;44;09 – 00;32;44;26

Dr. Mona

Yeah.

 

00;32;44;29 – 00;33;09;16

Paige Connell

Incredibly expensive. I mean, summer camp makes you pay typically up front in full. So you might be paying ten K at one time for summer camp. And there’s so many half days, no school days, school break weeks, all things that parents aren’t sure how to account for. And so they’re trying to mix together, winter break camp and, and a nanny who’s available on a random Tuesday and all of these things.

 

00;33;09;16 – 00;33;27;08

Paige Connell

And oftentimes, I’m hearing from parents that they’re leaving the workforce, not when their kids are two, but when they’re kids ten, because it’s much harder. The older that they get to navigate these things, they’re finding it much more difficult to piece together. And so that has been the most surprising thing to me because I’m very early in that now at this point.

 

00;33;27;08 – 00;33;42;20

Paige Connell

My kid’s been in public school for three years. But when I first started sharing, I was caught very by surprise by that part, which was I didn’t leave the workforce when my kid entered daycare. I left the workforce when my kid turned six because I could not keep up. And I think we’re ignoring that part of the conversation a lot.

 

00;33;42;20 – 00;33;59;03

Paige Connell

We’re focusing a lot on those early years of parenting and parents who are in kind of those middle years before middle school and high school are struggling. They are really struggling, and they don’t have adequate resources. It’s often not things like vouchers for summer camp. And so they’re not really sure what to do or how to handle it.

 

00;33;59;03 – 00;34;05;01

Paige Connell

And so that caught me very by surprise and was a overwhelming response that I received.

 

00;34;05;01 – 00;34;20;18

Dr. Mona

Well, you are now catching me by surprise. So no, I mean, I you know, I talk to my husband about this. I’m like, I because we have obviously friends that have older children. And I’m like, look, it gets busier with all the yoga and like the activities too. I mean, right now they’re with me. I don’t need to put my two year old in like all these different classes.

 

00;34;20;18 – 00;34;38;17

Dr. Mona

Like, all they care about is, you know, mommy, we’re going to start her in preschool. But like, yeah, they don’t need a lot like us and that. But now it’s the peer relationships. It’s the it’s the soccer camps. It’s, you know, trying also like we go back to that perfectionism like I, we made him my husband are very big on like what is it that we really need to do so that we are not overstretching ourselves?

 

00;34;38;17 – 00;34;58;10

Dr. Mona

Also financially with the cost of all these activities? And then also, like you said, with the time that we have and making sure that we’re not, we’re allowing for some idle time for that child. Right. So for from a developmental parenting perspective, it’s enriching experiences. I need someone to be taking care of my kid while I finish up at five by 5 p.m. to be able to take them up.

 

00;34;58;13 – 00;35;15;20

Dr. Mona

But I also don’t want to overscheduled my kid and be busy every weekend with like seven soccer games. And that that kid doesn’t even have time to just sit and be a kid, if you will. But yeah, so many layers of all this. Again, perfectionism, but also just wanting to provide our children with experiences and also so that we can work like I.

 

00;35;15;20 – 00;35;39;16

Dr. Mona

I get that like this right now, my son’s pickup is at 230. I’m like, I’m like and starts at eight, okay. Which is whatever. But I’m like, can we get like a 330 or a four? Like it’ll be so much easier. But at 230 I don’t even get done with my meetings by then. So I’m hustling, bringing him back and then, you know, trying to figure out what can we do with independent play, what can you do?

 

00;35;39;16 – 00;35;54;16

Dr. Mona

And for like that, he’s not getting bored. And then we do do educational apps on the iPad now because he’s getting out at 230 and I, I don’t feel guilty or anything because it’s a blend. Right. He had school and now he’s going to do this. But it’s it’s just a harder narrative of like, okay, who’s going to pick up the kids?

 

00;35;54;16 – 00;36;06;07

Dr. Mona

I have to now break the meeting, make sure I’m done for the meeting to go pick him up and get him back. He needs a snack. He can get his own snack. But then I also want to make sure that he’s making good choices with his snack and all this stuff. Layers.

 

00;36;06;07 – 00;36;24;13

Paige Connell

There’s so many, so many layers. And you alluded to it. But also, I think people don’t understand that. Yeah. With preschool, typically there’s no afterschool care. You have to figure that out on your own. And in a lot of places, the town next door to me, they still don’t have free full day kindergarten. They have to pay if they want to go to full day kindergarten.

 

00;36;24;13 – 00;36;37;19

Paige Connell

So they get half day. But most people I know are working at noon, one half day end. And so these are things that families are struggling with. Do we pay for kindergarten or do we figure out what to do at noon every single day?

 

00;36;37;21 – 00;36;53;15

Dr. Mona

Yeah. Yeah. I don’t even think about that. Yeah. Because. Right. Yeah. I know it seems like having an early pick up when that’s like at 11:00 or early, that’s the half day. And I’m like, what did I just do? Like I dropped you off and I turned back around, like literally. I sat and checked one email and then now I’m like, okay, pick up time.

 

00;36;53;17 – 00;37;16;00

Dr. Mona

Yes. This is so great. Now for families who feel stuff like they’re choosing between paycheck, reliable childcare, what would you want them to know and what message do you have for the parent that’s feeling like they’re just failing at all? This, that they are trying to make ends meet? What do we even do? What are some sort of like tangible tips or reassurance or things to think about for these families?

 

00;37;16;02 – 00;37;22;05

Dr. Mona

Now let’s take a quick break to hear from our sponsors who support helps us keep bringing you this show.

 

00;37;22;07 – 00;37;42;18

Paige Connell

Oh well. First and foremost, I tell everyone you’re not failing. The systems are failing, right? Nobody was set up for success in this situation. Even in the most privileged position that you and I are acknowledging here, I’m stressed out about these things. I’m thinking about them constantly. I’m constantly navigating what childcare looks like for our family and budgeting accordingly.

 

00;37;42;18 – 00;38;04;13

Paige Connell

And adjusting my career according to the needs of my family. And so you are not failing. The system is failing. If the most privileged people are stressed out, that is that. Is it telling you something about the realities of what child care looks like in our country? And so you are not failing? I think that’s incredibly important. As you’ve mentioned, sometimes parenting can feel incredibly isolating.

 

00;38;04;15 – 00;38;22;16

Paige Connell

And in a society where we are told these are your children, figure it out, it can feel very difficult with that narrative of you need to afford kids before you have them all of these things, right? It feels impossible. And so I just want to take that off of everyone’s shoulders that you are not failing. The systems are failing.

 

00;38;22;18 – 00;38;46;16

Paige Connell

Now, what can we do? I mean, this can feel difficult. This can feel really hard. This can feel insurmountable at times. But I do think, number one, bringing awareness to this. I think even you sharing your cost of childcare with moms first that matters. Bringing awareness to these things. Absolutely matters. Getting loud about these things matters because the more attention we bring to it and more awareness, the more we can address it, right?

 

00;38;46;16 – 00;39;05;20

Paige Connell

If we stay quiet about this, then nobody realizes, nobody cares, nobody pays attention, and so unfortunately, the squeaky wheel gets the grease. Be squeaky about it. Talk about it. Educate your friends about it too, right? I think that’s something we can do more of. I highly recommend getting involved at a local level, if you can. Right.

 

00;39;05;20 – 00;39;23;05

Paige Connell

So you mentioned moms first. Moms first does a lot of different efforts and advocacy around the cost of childcare. There are also organizations like Chamber of Mothers. Chamber of mothers also has a local effort. So there might be a chapter in your area depending on where you live. And so they’re doing local level efforts to advance these things.

 

00;39;23;05 – 00;39;35;18

Paige Connell

There’s an organization called Mother Forward Moms Rising. There are so many different organizations, and you’re hearing the word mom a lot. And again, that’s mostly because it’s disproportionately impacts moms. And so moms are thinking about this and working towards change.

 

00;39;35;23 – 00;39;36;23

Dr. Mona

 

00;39;36;25 – 00;39;58;17

Paige Connell

Be aware of policies, call your representatives, do those things. But I again, I encourage you to think local as much as you possibly can. So do you work at a workplace where you believe that if you brought them an encouraging case, about what it would look like, the ROI on providing back up care or a stipend or whatever that might be for childcare.

 

00;39;58;24 – 00;40;24;02

Paige Connell

Bring it to your workplace. I know that sounds not helpful to everyone because it’s not, but it is something we can do. And I actually think the more workplaces that implement policies like cakes, the more that we see that in workplaces, the more that policy will follow. Because if organizations that drive capitalism are investing in this, they will eventually put pressure on politicians to invest in it, too, because what’s good for them is good for that each other.

 

00;40;24;02 – 00;40;42;23

Paige Connell

Right? So they’re constantly working together. And so the more that we put this pressure on our workplaces, the more that we can also see change, federally if possible. And so I definitely encourage that. I think also I, I, I think we have to unfortunately, day to day, like in our real lives, get creative as much as we possibly can.

 

00;40;42;23 – 00;41;02;07

Paige Connell

And a big piece that we don’t often talk about is partnership here. What are you doing with your partner? This should never be falling squarely on mom’s shoulders. It should not be mom’s responsibility to take every sick day to figure out child care, to bridge every single gap that leads to burnout, resentment, frustration, mental health issues, physical health issues, exhaustion.

 

00;41;02;09 – 00;41;19;07

Paige Connell

It is something that both parents should be equally involved in, and I think that is more and more the case. But still, this disproportionately impacts moms. And so when you’re thinking about what this looks like logistically, please do not compare your salary to the cost of childcare. This is a shared family expense and it should be seen as such.

 

00;41;19;07 – 00;41;35;14

Paige Connell

It should be, you know, part of the equation that it is not just yours to carry alone and neither are the gaps. And so I highly encourage people within their relationships to have conversations about what it looks like to navigate this together, where one person does not feel the burden more than the other.

 

00;41;35;14 – 00;41;50;22

Dr. Mona

Oh, we dealt with that resentment. You know, when I told you that my son was getting sick a lot and I had to at that point, I’m going to be quite transparent. People really needed an ear doctor a lot during a pandemic, of course. So let’s be clear that my it made sense for me to be the one to be able to call out, but it did obviously add a lot of stress.

 

00;41;50;27 – 00;42;13;04

Dr. Mona

And as we navigated things, one of the biggest things that we did. So obviously my husband and I are both physicians. We did call schedules, so we would create a call schedules, including for overnight illnesses. So like if one of the kids sick and we both have to do something the next day, who needs sleep more? And it was very equalized because sometimes my husband wouldn’t work till three in the afternoon so he could take the overnight, right?

 

00;42;13;06 – 00;42;30;20

Dr. Mona

Some days I’m up at eight because I had to be at the office, and that’s going to be more exhausting for me. And then we do that during the day as well. When my if my husband was off that day, I don’t have to think about it. But then if he was working that it was clear that I would be the one, because him taking that time off would be more of a financial hit than me taking the time off.

 

00;42;30;20 – 00;42;53;24

Dr. Mona

Because if he takes time off, he doesn’t get paid. There’s no symptoms. And when you’re an independent contractor, as any other physician, you don’t get time off. It’s literally if you don’t work, you don’t get paid. So for me, I did have the sick days. So I love that communication aspect, like you said, using your partner as hopefully if you if you do have one, using that communication to really make it work for both of you because you do not want that resentment to know you understand.

 

00;42;53;27 – 00;43;11;05

Dr. Mona

And you you already talked about a little bit of this, but if you had a magic wand and you could implement three immediate changes to address the childcare crisis in America, even if it’s at a more national level, what would they be? And how do you think they can transform the lives of families like yourself, mine, and all of our families in America who are struggling with that?

 

00;43;11;05 – 00;43;27;19

Paige Connell

Sure. So I think the three things I would think about would be one paid parental leave. And when I say that I don’t just mean for moms, I mean for two, and I would want it to be adequate, right? We can look at peer nations that are doing this in a really meaningful way. I think that would be huge.

 

00;43;27;21 – 00;43;42;26

Paige Connell

And so that would be one thing. And I would also like, if it comes to our workplaces, mandated rate in countries where it’s mandated for men and women to do it together or to have, you know, adequate time, it makes a huge difference, not just in the child’s life, but in the parents lives, in the community.

 

00;43;42;26 – 00;44;03;03

Paige Connell

So I think that’s really important, obviously affordable child care. Now, when I say that, I want to be very clear that I believe that we should have government funded and subsidized childcare, I think we also need to really change the childcare industry. It is privatized in a lot of ways. We have private equity in childcare. Childcare workers are not paid fairly.

 

00;44;03;03 – 00;44;19;05

Paige Connell

They are paid very poorly for the job that they’re doing, which is why it is so difficult for childcare centers to remain open and to staff appropriately. That is a concern. It’s the same thing with teaching, right? We have teachers leaving the workforce. They are not adequately paid for the work that they’re doing. And so that is incredibly important.

 

00;44;19;05 – 00;44;45;18

Paige Connell

When we think about reform here, we cannot just think about reform for families. We have to think about reform for the people who are working within the industry, which is also disproportionately women. So I would want government funded and subsidized childcare that also accounts for the pay, for the workers and then workplaces. We need workplace flexibility. We need to reimagine what it looks like to be a salaried employee.

 

00;44;45;21 – 00;45;08;12

Paige Connell

We need to reimagine what flexibility looks like. We need to, in my strong belief, do away with full time return to office mandates when they are not required. Obviously, your job cannot be done remotely in all instances. My husband is a first responder. His job cannot be done remotely. But there are so many things we can do across many different industries to account for the needs of families and what flexibility looks like.

 

00;45;08;12 – 00;45;12;18

Paige Connell

And so if there’s a day that is federally a holiday for every single.

 

00;45;12;18 – 00;45;13;20

Dr. Mona

School.

 

00;45;13;22 – 00;45;34;24

Paige Connell

There is no reason parents should be expected to go to the office that day. Just doesn’t make sense. So really adjusting what our workplace expectations look like with what our childcare solutions look like, right? How do we make that work together. And so, you know, those are three things off the top of my head. Obviously there are so many more, but the impact would just be immense.

 

00;45;34;26 – 00;45;50;25

Dr. Mona

Absolutely. And I, I love that you tackled obviously federal, the childcare of the workplace and exactly what you had mentioned before about how there’s different levels that we can do this at, and I like you said, I don’t think it’s going to happen in the next four years of like any changes. But being vocal is really important.

 

00;45;50;25 – 00;46;06;21

Dr. Mona

I loved getting to connect with you, not only just finding your face all over my my Yahoo and everywhere. I’m like, who is this girl? And then I finally met you. And I was like, I know you and, you know, connecting with you page, just being able to hear your advocacy and also, everyone should follow her.

 

00;46;06;21 – 00;46;23;22

Dr. Mona

I’m going to be linking her information in my show notes, but not just about paid leave, but about the mental load about men and women in in, in in relationships, you sometimes share other posts that make jokes about, you know, the, the labor that we each have. And I just think it’s, again, important to have these conversations for the awareness to be there.

 

00;46;23;22 – 00;46;36;15

Dr. Mona

And then thus the advocacy can happen as well. And thank you so much for giving those advocacy organizations. I know them very well too, and I’ll be linking those as well. On our show notes, what will be the final uplifting message for everyone listening, in today? Yeah, I.

 

00;46;36;15 – 00;47;01;05

Paige Connell

Mean, I think the biggest thing to know is that I think as a group of parents, we are all in the fight together. Like, I think more now than ever, parents seem really united on this topic in particular, around childcare in particular. And so I think that’s hopeful. Right? I think if so many people care about this issue, I actually do think we can see change.

 

00;47;01;05 – 00;47;22;20

Paige Connell

So I think that is hopeful. I think the fact that we are hearing more about this, we are seeing more about this. You are reading it in Business Insider that is hopeful. I don’t know that we would have seen that five years ago. And so I do think that we will see change here. It might take a long time, but I do think the more that we continue to talk about it and bring awareness to it, that maybe not for our kids and our daycare rates, but, you know, those who come behind us.

 

00;47;22;27 – 00;47;39;21

Dr. Mona

Yes, and I love that the positive paid for it. You know, sometimes, like I’m in health care, which is actually a very I don’t think people realize how toxic health care is. There’s a mentality that if I struggle, you struggle and it’s it’s very toxic, like, especially within women and mothers. But I like I said, like I didn’t get paid leave in my job.

 

00;47;39;21 – 00;47;58;21

Dr. Mona

It was actually horrible. I approached them talking to them about again like, hey, this is why we need paid leave. Like I was really sick and I had to work with them, but it wasn’t paid. It was, you know, obviously we took a huge pay cut with the medical bills that we had. But yeah, starting these conversations, even if it didn’t happen for us, it can happen for our children.

 

00;47;58;21 – 00;48;12;26

Dr. Mona

It can happen to their peers if we choose to. Not, you know, if they don’t decide to have children, our children’s children. But it’s an important conversation. But I hope I can see in my lifetime, and I believe that we will. I believe that we will see changes. And I love that we’re seeing that on the state level.

 

00;48;12;29 – 00;48;44;04

Dr. Mona

A lot of the reason why we’re thinking about relocating, from where we currently are, and by the time this airs, we might have been relocated for anyone tuning in, is that sort of, you know, an emphasis on families, emphasis on, you know, affordable childcare, paid leave, whatever we can do so that my kids are growing up in an environment that knows that this state or this community values families as much as we can, and I it will never I will never understand how a group like well, I maybe I can, but how we can’t understand that by supporting this it’s better for the economy.

 

00;48;44;04 – 00;49;00;15

Dr. Mona

There’s so much data that proves this, but also just it’s going to mean more people in the workforce. And it’s here, people in the workforce, which means better productivity. Like how do you understand that? Like you going to have stress disgruntled mothers and fathers because they’re trying to figure out how to afford to pay for their kids care.

 

00;49;00;21 – 00;49;18;08

Dr. Mona

And that just doesn’t mean good productivity. And I, I’m grateful to have a business that has four employees right now who basically have the flexible schedules they want, meaning they all work virtually if they want to take time to go to their kids, you know, holiday event or, you know, take the weekend off. We’re that’s the policy.

 

00;49;18;08 – 00;49;34;14

Dr. Mona

I have no vacation policy. I have no sick day policy because I didn’t get that. I was in a health care system that was like, you got to do this. You got to show up. And these are all NPS and PPAs that are now getting that freedom. And, you know, it’s my small way. I can’t afford to give the $36,000 childcare credit.

 

00;49;34;18 – 00;49;44;09

Dr. Mona

But if I can, that is next on my list. I love it. That’ll be I mean, that’s how we do it, right? And, thank you for joining me. Where can people go to stay connected? That is important to me for sure.

 

00;49;44;09 – 00;49;58;03

Paige Connell

So you can find me pretty much on all social media platforms at she is a page turner, but I’m also I have a website. She’s page turner.com and I’m on LinkedIn too, which is a sneaky place where I share a lot of this stuff. So if you’re on LinkedIn, you can find me at Page Connell.

 

00;49;58;06 – 00;50;14;05

Dr. Mona

Thank you. Well, it was such a pleasure finally chatting with you on the show and also meeting you. I don’t have a lot of my guests that I’ve met in real life, so that I feel like is a privilege to be able to do that. And thank you so much to, for coming on today and having this amazing, important conversation that I think to that needs to keep happening, over and over.

 

00;50;14;05 – 00;50;14;28

Dr. Mona

So thank you.

 

00;50;15;00 – 00;50;18;13

Paige Connell

Thank you.

 

00;50;18;15 – 00;50;37;21

Dr. Mona

Oh, that conversation was a lot. And honestly, it needed to be. If there’s one thing I want you to walk away with, it’s this child killer in America is not your personal failure and is not your solo problem to solve. It is a system problem that eats me alive every day. Just thinking about the lack of affordability. You are not bad at budgeting.

 

00;50;37;21 – 00;50;58;17

Dr. Mona

You are not bad at planning. The system is broken and millions of families in America are living that same truth right alongside you. So what can we actually do? Here’s the part that keeps me hopeful. Our government has the budget for paid leave, affordable care, and real workplace flexibility. This was never a question of whether we can afford it.

 

00;50;58;19 – 00;51;18;14

Dr. Mona

It is a question of whether we elect leaders who choose to put that money towards family centered policies, instead of everywhere else it currently goes. That does not serve the well-being of kids and families. Change starts with saying it out loud, the way Paige did, the way we did today. So this episode hit home. Share it. Send it to a friend.

 

00;51;18;14 – 00;51;35;26

Dr. Mona

Send it to your partner. Send to the person in your life who still thinks child care costs are just the price of having kids. Follow page. She is a page turner to keep learning from her, and the more of us who speak up, the harder we are to ignore and remember to share and tag this episode on your socials or in your communities.

 

00;51;36;00 – 00;51;50;03

Dr. Mona

Tag. She is a page turner, the PedsDocTalk Podcast PedsDocTalk when you listen. Thank you for listening. Thank you for understanding that you are not alone. But let’s make some changes here. Thank you again and I cannot wait to chat with you all next time.