On the Finding Joy Episodes of this podcast, I talk about real-life good and not so good of being a parent, particularly sharing my perspective as a mom and woman. I share ways to navigate feelings of judgement, mom guilt, or that not good enough feeling we may feel as parents.

I’ve had my husband come on the show and I’m now excited to welcome another guest, one of my favorite ABC News Television Personalities, and my friend, Erielle Reshef. Erielle is a mother and works as a ABC News National Correspondent covering some of the top stories around the world. She joins me to discuss:

Why she believes “work-life balance” is an elusive goal
How she approaches mom guilt
How she reframes her mindset on difficult news days or news cycles

Transcript

00;00;01;01 – 00;00;22;23

Erielle Reshef

And I’m a work in progress. That’s another thing that I have just accepted, that sometimes I feel like I’ve got this together, and sometimes I feel like I’m falling apart and can feel like a zero sum game where I’m succeeding at work and then I’m failing on the home front or I’m, you know, really present at home and feel like I’m making headway with my kids and my husband and I feel like work is slow and it’s falling by the wayside.

00;00;22;26 – 00;00;41;01

Erielle Reshef

So I think this is something everyone can relate to, whether you are a working parent or a stay at home parent, or somewhere in between, we often feel like we’re if we’re succeeding on one front, we’re failing on another. And you know, we’re all a work in progress. That’s all I can say is that nobody has it nailed down, no matter how perfect it looks on Instagram.

00;00;41;03 – 00;01;00;25

Dr. Mona

Welcome to the PedsDocTalk podcast. This show’s success is largely due to you and the way you share the podcast with others and leave reviews, so thank you and continue doing so. I’m so grateful to have the most amazing guests to guide you in your parenting journey. Topics about all things parenting, child health, child development, and parental mental health.

00;01;00;28 – 00;01;29;08

Dr. Mona

And I also love inviting fellow women, fellow moms, fellow parents to talk about their parenting journey, about life as working professionals, stay at home moms, whatever it may be. And today’s guest is doing just that. Her name is Ariel Reshef. I’m sure many of you may know her. She is a ABC news national correspondent and mom of two, and she’s joining me to talk about finding Joy as a mom and TV news correspondent.

00;01;29;09 – 00;01;31;20

Dr. Mona

Thank you so much for joining me today, Ariel.

00;01;31;25 – 00;01;33;22

Erielle Reshef

So great to be with you, doc.

00;01;33;25 – 00;02;00;21

Dr. Mona

I’m so excited. So one story I connected with you on Good Morning America in 2021. I had written a post about the struggles of pandemic parenting and good Morning America and other news outlets picked it up and we had a face to face video to video interview about my tips and my understanding that’s happening. So I met you then, and we’ve kind of maintained a Instagram friendship we described as pen pals.

00;02;00;21 – 00;02;02;22

Dr. Mona

So I love that we’re actually connecting on the show today.

00;02;02;26 – 00;02;23;00

Erielle Reshef

Yeah, it’s a pleasure to be with you, doctor Mona. And I just adore your platform for so many reasons. And I was turned onto your platform. Like you said when we talked zoom to Zoom for Good Morning America and your guidance really resonated with me as a mom and as a working mom, as a parent, because we had all faced some really dark times and challenging moments over the course of the years prior to that.

00;02;23;00 – 00;02;28;28

Erielle Reshef

And it was nice to hear a pediatrician, a mom say, you know what? Be gentle with yourself and.

00;02;29;00 – 00;02;29;11

Dr. Mona

Take it.

00;02;29;11 – 00;02;38;17

Erielle Reshef

Easy. And the happier you are as a parent, the happier your children will be. So I really appreciated that and I love following you, and it’s just an absolute joy to be with you today.

00;02;38;20 – 00;03;02;03

Dr. Mona

Yeah, and after that connection that we had almost two years ago now, following you on social media and just seeing what you do, obviously as a TV news correspondent and an amazing mom, obviously I know we don’t know each other in real life, but just seeing you know how you like it feels like it. It does. And I just again, I love surrounding myself with people, whether it’s online or in real life, who share that passion for life, for parenthood.

00;03;02;03 – 00;03;18;05

Dr. Mona

And it’s really nice to see. So the connection is great. It’s a mutual love there, right back at you. And, you know, one of the biggest things is I want to talk about first before we get into this sort of finding joy as what you do as a mom and also as a TV news correspondent is what made you go into broadcast journalism?

00;03;18;05 – 00;03;22;28

Dr. Mona

I know it has amazing ups and downs, but what kind of drove you to do this as your career?

00;03;23;01 – 00;03;47;00

Erielle Reshef

You know, I call it a serendipitous twist of fate. I never set out to become a journalist, even though I’ve always been a voracious news consumer and been obsessed with current events and global affairs, this was never a career that I had designed for myself. I was finishing my Masters in Diplomacy and Conflict Studies, and I was doing that abroad, and I ended up falling into the news business, really in such a kind of circuitous way.

00;03;47;07 – 00;04;09;08

Erielle Reshef

Nothing I ever would have expected. I had zero experience, and I ended up randomly applying for a job at the urging of my husband, who wouldn’t kind of relent, and he pushed me and pushed me. And finally I just said, okay, fine, I’ll do it. And I submitted my resume knowing I had zero credibility in the field. But I had a master’s in diplomacy and conflict studies, and I was living in the Middle East in a region that I really understood.

00;04;09;08 – 00;04;27;02

Erielle Reshef

And so I tried to lean into the experience I did have and kind of explain to the future employer that I could tackle a learning curve. And so I ended up auditioning alongside a lot of people who had way more experience than I did. And somehow the next day, I got a call from the news director saying, you know what?

00;04;27;03 – 00;04;43;17

Erielle Reshef

We’re going to take a chance on you. And to this day, I’m grateful for that because I don’t think I would have taken a chance on myself, given how little experience I had the first time I ever saw a teleprompter or walked into a studio, was that audition. So it’s sort of a message that you just never know the winding road that life will take you.

00;04;43;17 – 00;04;56;12

Erielle Reshef

Fine. But this certainly it ended up once I was in the career, I realized how much it fit so many pieces of me and my interests. And there’s also parts of it that keep me out of my comfort zone, which keeps me on my toes.

00;04;56;14 – 00;05;10;23

Dr. Mona

Well, I love it. I’m so happy that someone took a chance on you and you have created this career, obviously, that I love. I love watching on the news and especially I feel like I’m a celebrity. I know a celebrity. I’m like, I’m actually going to like my parents. My ABC news is our news, by the way.

00;05;10;23 – 00;05;23;22

Dr. Mona

We love it. Obviously the nightly news and anything. And so whatever I tell my family and I’m like, oh, do you know this? She’s like, oh yeah, she’s so great. And of course my mom’s like, she’s so beautiful. My mom, she’s there, she’s beautiful. It’s all mothers.

00;05;23;23 – 00;05;29;04

Erielle Reshef

My cat was on video. You saw what my bangs were doing before we hit, before we can do anything. So thank.

00;05;29;04 – 00;05;47;25

Dr. Mona

You. And so I’m like, listen, I love meeting intelligent women as well. Obviously, you know, you’re trained, you’re very good at what you do. And one of the biggest things that I do on these episodes. So for anyone who has not listened to a finding Joy episode to finding Joy episodes on this show go into real life parent mom life.

00;05;47;25 – 00;06;10;16

Dr. Mona

Because I am a mom, I speak a lot about that. I’ve done a lot of these episodes solo. I’ve invited my husband on to chat about finding joy in marriage and parenthood, and you’re the first one of the first people I’m inviting to chat about this sort of life as a mom and professional in this situation, so I’m really glad that you’re one of my first guests on a finding Joy episode of the Stock Talk Podcast.

00;06;10;22 – 00;06;26;04

Erielle Reshef

I’m honored, and I think it’s a really important topic because as parents, we can sort of lose sight of the need to find joy because we’re trying to lift up everybody else around us. And you know, my love language, I’m sure yours is too, because I can tell just through our Instagram, friendship is taking care of everybody else.

00;06;26;07 – 00;06;37;13

Erielle Reshef

Yeah. And so sometimes we as parents have to stop and we sometimes are forced to stop in a moment and say, you know what? What is my joy? Where can I find it? And why is it so important that I do?

00;06;37;15 – 00;07;08;14

Dr. Mona

And part of this is talking about joy. That term balance, which I know can sometimes be a little hard triggering of like, is there really balance in work life, all of that. But the goal of this conversation for everyone listening and why I wanted Ariel to come on is just to chat about real life as a mother. You know, the things that we do, whether you have a job outside the home, whether you are a stay at home mom, like I mentioned already, this is about things, that perspective, mindset, how we get through the good and not so great difficulties of parenting.

00;07;08;14 – 00;07;36;10

Dr. Mona

So this is why we’re having this conversation. And I’m so excited that Ariel’s joining me. And my first question getting into it is, what has been the hardest thing to balance as a TV national news correspondent and mom? And, you know, one of the things I see when I look at you and of course, this could be incorrect and an assumption is you have a lot of early mornings, you know, you have you’re on location sometimes like, and I know that there maybe can be some, you know, obviously there’s separation that’s happening from your family.

00;07;36;10 – 00;07;42;11

Dr. Mona

But what has been the hardest things that you’ve had to, quote unquote, balance as a TV journalist and a mother?

00;07;42;13 – 00;08;00;13

Erielle Reshef

Well, clearly, Moana, there’s the rigors of the job itself. But so the hours, as you mentioned, can be sort of erratic. And I say it’s predictably unpredictable. So, you know, I know sort of if I’m going to be launch for Good Morning America, generally speaking, what that means as far as my time frame. And then I usually have a little bit of a gap in the day.

00;08;00;16 – 00;08;18;16

Erielle Reshef

And then I start kind of revving up for world news tonight. And in between all of that, when I say there’s a gap, sometimes that’s filled by personal time and sometimes it’s filled by other platforms because he has so many of them. And I’m blessed to be working with every single ABC platform. So sometimes I’m working on a story that’s going to, you know, air down the pike.

00;08;18;16 – 00;08;36;23

Erielle Reshef

And sometimes I’m working on Day of News. It really depends. And so, you know, in the transition to becoming a correspondent, one of the things I really had to accept that is not innately me is that sometimes it’s out of my control, that the time is out of my control, that the times that I end up having to travel for work, I don’t necessarily have a say over.

00;08;36;25 – 00;08;53;25

Erielle Reshef

And so I had to lean into that piece of me that still to this day can be really uncomfortable and jarring. And I think the other part of it is when you’re working as a national correspondent, I’m a general assignment correspondent. So I just kind of never know what I’m going to be covering the next day. And, some of the topics can be incredibly emotional.

00;08;54;02 – 00;09;22;17

Erielle Reshef

You know, I often am operating like so many parents on a sleep deficit. Yeah. And so, you know, the emotional attacks that this takes on me can be hard. And I’ve had to really learn how to seize moments because there is that misconception. I believe personally, this is my personal belief. And I’ve come to this after being more than six years as a national correspondent and in the industry more than a decade, that the notion of balance as a parent doesn’t exist.

00;09;22;17 – 00;09;43;12

Erielle Reshef

And to keep pursuing it, to me, is a fool’s errand, because you’re just spinning your wheels trying to grab a carrot that just keeps moving. And to me, my husband actually put this in great perspective for me, and he had to drill this into me. He said over and over, life is about tradeoffs. And if we want to say it positively so it doesn’t sound like a negative, we can say life is about moments.

00;09;43;14 – 00;10;09;17

Erielle Reshef

And I’ve learned that in my career, I have had to take moments out of my day to spend with my kids, or to spend with myself, or to take the moment to take a walk with my husband when he happens to be, you know, in between calls or has a free moment, and that sometimes just those moments, even though they feel short and fleeting, can mean more than trying to spend hours with your children on it and when you’re already exhausted.

00;10;09;17 – 00;10;22;08

Erielle Reshef

So for me, it’s been one of the more difficult things has been that mind shift of trying to stop pursuing balance because it doesn’t exist in my world, and start pursuing and seizing moments.

00;10;22;10 – 00;10;48;27

Dr. Mona

Well, I love it. I love how you talk about balance, because that want or desire to pursue balance can also lead to a lot of disappointment, because there’s a expectation that the balance should look a certain way when it’s truly just like you said, moments, it’s experiences. It’s what makes sense for your family. And that can make that can look different day to day, week to week, depending on whatever’s going on in the family, whether it’s you having to be on location or have a busier day, or whether it’s someone else who has something else going on in their life.

00;10;48;27 – 00;10;51;10

Dr. Mona

It’s just such a ever evolving situation.

00;10;51;17 – 00;11;16;12

Erielle Reshef

Definitely. And I think that one of the important lessons I’ve had to teach myself and I keep having to, it’s almost like an affirmation. I keep saying, nothing in life is linear, you know, whether it’s parenting, whether it’s career, whether it’s relationships, nothing in life is static or linear. And in my career we deal. It’s interesting. I don’t know that a lot of people would know this, but as a national correspondent, I am busy and it looks like I’m busy all the time.

00;11;16;12 – 00;11;39;08

Erielle Reshef

But there are peaks and valleys in my career where they’re, you know, at the peak I am so busy I can barely breathe and I don’t know how I’m going to come out of it. And then there is where the news cycle dictates that I’m not used as frequently. And then you get into the point where you should be seizing the moment and you should be saying, okay, I’ve got a break or a little bit of relief, but instead you go into the tailspin of why am I not being used?

00;11;39;08 – 00;11;55;08

Erielle Reshef

What’s going on? Maybe I did something, even though you know full well that the news cycle is just what it is, you know that, you know, there’s there’s other stories that are going on in other places. There are other correspondents who are working on stories that are, you know, day of news. We should be able to wrap our heads around that.

00;11;55;10 – 00;12;13;13

Erielle Reshef

And so that’s a constant learning opportunity for myself. I have to keep saying to myself, you know, life is not linear. Sometimes we have great days with our kids and we feel like we could just stay with them for hours on end and soak up every single experience with them. And there’s some days where, as a parent, we have to admit it’s not my day.

00;12;13;19 – 00;12;29;25

Erielle Reshef

I’m not doing like my kids are driving me crazy. It’s justified or not, you know, sometimes they’re just being kids, sometimes they’re actually driving you nuts. And we have to be able to be kinder to ourselves and find that ability to say, life isn’t linear. And this is just one of those moments.

00;12;29;27 – 00;12;53;17

Dr. Mona

Well, again, this is what these episodes are all about. On the finding Joy episodes on the show is this, again, mindset shift, how we talk to ourselves about the reality of our life, right? I think it’s so important that we do this not only as women, but as mothers, as everything that we are. Whatever it is that you’re dealing with in your life and, you know, so many of my followers and so much of my community deal with mom guilt, you know, things that it could be various different things.

00;12;53;17 – 00;13;10;18

Dr. Mona

And did you ever experience mom guilt being, you know, obviously as a mother and also as a professional every day? Yeah, absolutely. What helps you get through that? Mom guilt? Is it the mindset shift that you already told me that your husband also talked to you about, and you also created what has helped you to kind of say, I got this.

00;13;10;18 – 00;13;11;17

Dr. Mona

It’s okay.

00;13;11;19 – 00;13;31;20

Erielle Reshef

You know, there’s moments where I feel like I don’t got this. And I think that I’ve had to accept that. Yeah. And I think, mom guilt is a real thing. Dad guilt. Parent guilt. It’s a thing. Yes. And, you know, I had a moment in my early days at ABC where I was covering a story, and it was really my first breakthrough story, where I was on the story for days on end and there was no end in sight.

00;13;31;20 – 00;13;52;14

Erielle Reshef

And it was a pursuit of a suspect in a case, and I knew that I was going to miss my son’s birthday party at school. And we were relatively new to New York. And because I’m so oriented to family, the concept of missing out on that milestone at school was devastating to me. And I had a boss of mine who I adore, who’s been a champion for me and is a mom of three.

00;13;52;16 – 00;14;07;29

Erielle Reshef

Say to me, Join the Bad Moms Club. Sometimes we just got to do it, you know? And at first I really resisted that idea. I don’t think it makes you a bad mom, because you have to make trade offs or have to take moments, whether it’s moments at work or moments with your kids. How do I get through it?

00;14;07;29 – 00;14;27;06

Erielle Reshef

I think day to day I experience mom guilt, whether it’s should I when I don’t have Good Morning America, take a couple more minutes for myself and do something for myself? Or should I run to my kid’s school and try to seize a moment where they’re having a little event for the kids? And it’s a real struggle every single time, and I don’t think you fully overcome mom guilt again.

00;14;27;06 – 00;14;50;15

Erielle Reshef

I would just circle back to. And what I do for myself is keep saying to myself, let me look at the big picture. Am I seeing the moments when I can? Am I seizing enough moments that my kids know that I’m present for them? And one of the things that’s been empowering is, you know, after Good Morning America, if there is a morning event at one of my son’s schools, I try to race there to be there and be present for them and show them that I’ll show up if I’m in town and I’m able.

00;14;50;17 – 00;15;01;27

Erielle Reshef

But I also try to explain to them that I have a demanding career, and this is something that I love, and that I hope they’re proud of me for pursuing, and hopefully later in life that will yield a dividend. We’ll find out when we.

00;15;02;00 – 00;15;19;13

Dr. Mona

Yeah. Well, I can say from a developmental perspective, like, I preach this a lot on my show, on my Instagram about this sort of understanding of the big picture like you just mentioned and how important that is. Whatever you’re doing as a parent, it’s so important not to get so bogged down into that. I’m not doing this. This is not happening.

00;15;19;13 – 00;15;35;04

Dr. Mona

And focusing on what are we doing here? And is my child’s loved? Are they safe? Which they are, you know, and sometimes, like you said perfectly, there’s going to be seasons, right? There’s going to be times where there’s going to be more of you and your kids life, and sometimes less if you have this kind of job. Right.

00;15;35;04 – 00;15;53;27

Dr. Mona

I imagine that, and I love how you just kind of say it’s what it is. I’m going to let that go. And it’s okay to also feel the guilt, right? This is a human emotion, just like anything else. And sometimes we feel bad for having it. We feel bad of like, oh, well, I shouldn’t feel this way. And I should feel okay with it, but it’s okay to feel the feelings that everything that motherhood brings.

00;15;53;27 – 00;15;59;06

Dr. Mona

And I love that you are owning up to that. And I think that can help actually navigate a lot of the things that we go through.

00;15;59;08 – 00;16;17;13

Erielle Reshef

That’s very true. And I also think that over the years, I’ve established guardrails in my own life where I say, this is my red line, my red line after that birthday party incident, you know, years ago, red line is, am I going to remember the story that I’m covering in six years from now, or am I going to remember that I missed the birthday party?

00;16;17;16 – 00;16;31;29

Erielle Reshef

And so that was a real reckoning for me. You know, I was at that time, I had less control over my career. I was in the early moments, and I want everything humanly possible to break through and get onto the shows, because it’s not a given. When you’re hired, you know that you’re going to just get used all the time.

00;16;31;29 – 00;16;53;02

Erielle Reshef

You have to earn it. And so, you know, I was paying my dues at that point, and I was hard on myself both as a mom and as a correspondent at the time. And now that I have become a little more established and have a little more stability, I know that I have guardrails. I say, you know, whether it’s a holiday with my family, not every single one, because that’s not the way it works in the news business.

00;16;53;02 – 00;17;09;27

Erielle Reshef

We don’t get every holiday, but I will spend certain amounts of time with my family. I will use my vacation and I will really unplug. I will try to be present in the moments when I can. For instance, one of my guardrails and it’s a day to day thing is, if I’m home in time for bedtime, which sometimes happens and sometimes doesn’t.

00;17;09;28 – 00;17;29;01

Erielle Reshef

Yeah, I leave my phone upstairs and I take my kids down and I put them to sleep, and I try to be incredibly present for that 25 minutes, even though it doesn’t sound like a lot. And sometimes I find that that 25 minutes that I spend with them where I’m uninterrupted, I am fully focused and I’m reading them books and I’m tickling them, you know, to sleep.

00;17;29;08 – 00;17;38;11

Erielle Reshef

Those are the moments that I feel like I’ve bonded with my kids the most, as opposed to sometimes the weekends where we’re together all day. But nobody’s really kind of focused or.

00;17;38;14 – 00;17;56;25

Dr. Mona

I do the same thing, which is why I’m like, well, yeah, bedtime is our time. Like it’s other other families listening or may not be, but it’s like that is our protected, like you said, 15 to 30 minutes of our time, Mommy and Ryan or whether my husband’s home, it’s all three of us. It’s amazing. And you, like you said, it’s focused quality of time.

00;17;56;25 – 00;18;08;01

Dr. Mona

And when I have those long days with. And that’s the days and I’m like, oh, it’s so much longer. But it’s like when you have that focused, this is what I’m getting today. Oh, it feels so good. And I know the children appreciate it too. That’s awesome.

00;18;08;03 – 00;18;29;29

Erielle Reshef

Yeah, I definitely am in the moment of quality over quantity. Yeah. Because I just don’t have the quantity I sometimes whether it’s I just physically don’t have the time or whether I just don’t have the bandwidth because my work and taxing on me to spend a long time. You know, I’ve also come to terms with the fact that I am not the mom who’s going to sit and do a long art project with my kids, right?

00;18;30;00 – 00;18;49;04

Erielle Reshef

You know, I am not the mom who comes up with these creative things to do and activities. I’m a mom who’s really present in the moments. And then, you know, I’m a mom who’s dedicated to a career with other elements that keep me incredibly occupied. And that was hard. That’s a hard shift because I have so many friends who are amazing, and it seems that they’re amazing.

00;18;49;07 – 00;19;07;17

Erielle Reshef

Everything. They can do it all. They have the art project laid out on the table in their house is they can span and you know, they do have a career and they figure it all out. But I’ve just had to come to terms as I’ve gotten older and kind of am reaching this season of parenthood where I say to myself, you know, instead of the activity, my kids watch me on TV, depending on the story.

00;19;07;20 – 00;19;24;25

Erielle Reshef

And, and I hope that, you know, that brings them joy. I hope they see the fruits of my labor, so to speak, and that, you know, gives them some sort of motivation in life. Whereas, you know, I’m not sitting with them at the kitchen table doing an art project that’s just not the mom that I am.

00;19;24;28 – 00;19;33;13

Dr. Mona

Do your children understand what you do, like when they see you on the TV? Do they understand, like what you’re doing for work and stuff like that? Or do they not really have an understanding at this point?

00;19;33;16 – 00;19;51;06

Erielle Reshef

So I have a seven year old about two eight and a three year old. Okay. So so what’s interesting is for the seven year old for sure understands what I do. And more and more is becoming cognizant and aware of why I’m away or where I am. And when they turn on the TV, if it’s an appropriate story he wants to watch and wants to absorb, and.

00;19;51;06 – 00;19;52;05

Dr. Mona

Also read.

00;19;52;12 – 00;20;08;28

Erielle Reshef

Lots of questions about my storytelling and why I was in a certain location. And what does this mean? What does that mean? He’s a very inquisitive child, so we’ve had to protect him in a way, now more than ever from some of the stories that I do. Yeah, but my three year old also is sort of coming around.

00;20;08;28 – 00;20;14;25

Erielle Reshef

And it’s funny because it’s watching him kind of tell people what I do. I think he thinks that maybe every mom is on TV.

00;20;14;25 – 00;20;18;18

Dr. Mona

So that’s what I was going to wonder. Yeah, yeah. Oh thank you. Yeah.

00;20;18;18 – 00;20;34;16

Erielle Reshef

Thank you. Yes. It is definitely not lost on my seven year old eight year old, but he’s about to turn eight. My three year old is still kind of wrapping his head around it. He does know moms on TV and they catch me. Not every night, but you know, they catch me at night and they like to watch, and it’s nice to know they’re watching.

00;20;34;16 – 00;20;52;12

Erielle Reshef

I always say to them, I hope I make you proud. And my seven year old will always say to me, mommy, you already make us proud. Which, well, you know, it’s exactly I cuddle every time. And that if you ask me how I surmount mom guilt, that’s how is getting affirmation unprompted affirmation from my kids? Yeah, doing something right.

00;20;52;15 – 00;21;14;22

Dr. Mona

Oh, I love it. And you mentioned already about, like, some new stories obviously going to be more difficult. But in terms of you covering difficult news stories and I, I say this also as a pediatrician married to an ER doctor, my husband sees a lot of awful things as an ER doctor and as a TV, you know, as a news national correspondent, you’re hearing and seeing some difficult things many times.

00;21;14;22 – 00;21;25;22

Dr. Mona

How do you sort of process these things to be more emotionally present for your kids, or even just kind of cope with all of the sometimes negative things that we see in life and on the news?

00;21;25;25 – 00;21;45;26

Erielle Reshef

Yeah, it can be all consuming. At times. I’ve had to realize that it doesn’t get easier as I stay in this career longer. In fact, it can make you more and more paranoid because sadly, I see the worst of humanity. Yes, I won’t even go into it here, but I see things just like you see as a physician, that you really tug at your heart and say to you, could this happen to me?

00;21;45;26 – 00;22;05;10

Erielle Reshef

Or could this happen to my kids? Yeah, it doesn’t necessarily get easier. It’s hard to quiet those nerves and that paranoia that comes along with seeing everything and seeing it first and seeing it real, meaning it’s not diluted. I see the first cut before it makes TV. Yeah. And oftentimes and covering it, you know, in person and that’s even more traumatizing.

00;22;05;17 – 00;22;25;23

Erielle Reshef

So I think it’s a counting your blessings thing. I know that sounds a little bit cliche or like a platitude, but I have to keep coming back to my kids are safe, my life is good, and frankly, no amount of anxiety that I throw at the future will change our future. And so I have to just be okay with that.

00;22;25;23 – 00;22;45;21

Erielle Reshef

And there are times when I’m covering a story and it becomes almost debilitating, upsetting, just like I’m sure you will have seen cases. But yes, it’s shake you to your core and it’s hard to overcome that. It’s hard to move through it. But then I get the next story. That’s a piece of joy. And, you know, I connect with someone I never thought I would connect with Allah.

00;22;45;21 – 00;22;47;12

Erielle Reshef

Our conversation. And.

00;22;47;14 – 00;22;48;07

Dr. Mona

You know.

00;22;48;09 – 00;23;13;29

Erielle Reshef

For instance, like I said, we were going through a dark period before I met you and, you know, like every parent I was going through those major ups and downs and feeling isolated both literally and emotionally in my career, in my life, in my parenting, because we were all stuck at home. Yeah. You know, meeting you was really a ray of light, you know, to say that you’re not alone, that it’s okay to be not okay at times.

00;23;14;02 – 00;23;22;25

Erielle Reshef

So it’s those things. It’s kind of just realizing that the bad things aren’t going to go away. But you really have to try to reprioritize and focus on the good.

00;23;22;27 – 00;23;43;08

Dr. Mona

Well, this is another reason why I love these conversations on these types of episodes, because you don’t have to be where you are in terms of what you do for a living outside your home. So resonate so deeply with that, right? Like I have a different profession and I agree, you see bad things, you see good things. Just like anyone listening can go through some really hard times personally and go through some really joyous times.

00;23;43;08 – 00;24;01;07

Dr. Mona

And that’s kind of a reality of the circle of life, of just how good things are really good. And some bad things are really hard. And we’ve really connected, I know through the last couple of years about when you share stories about a hard news story. And again, I’m not going to go into details, but you share it on your stories and I would DM you and I’m like, wow, like, I hope you’re okay.

00;24;01;07 – 00;24;22;07

Dr. Mona

Like because I know, you know, just being an empathetic person like, yes, all that it can take, not even just as a mother, but just as a human being like you obviously care. We don’t want to hear bad things happen. But of course we know that is a reality. So I love what you also said about the no amount of anxiety will change the future, and I think that is such a good tip to just hear and digest, because we do gets consumed sometimes.

00;24;22;07 – 00;24;38;01

Dr. Mona

And I think a lot of us in the pandemic, especially as parents, you know, we separated over all the things that could go wrong, or maybe we’re doing wrong or my kid getting sick. And I always say to that, all of that, I get it. We’re trying to protect our families and protect ourselves, but that’s not going to change outcomes, right?

00;24;38;01 – 00;24;45;07

Dr. Mona

You’re just living it twice. If you worry about it now, worry about it later. But I just love the way you’ve changed your perspective just through experience of life.

00;24;45;10 – 00;25;05;27

Erielle Reshef

Yeah. And I think it’s one of those things. This is an evolution. You know, I’m still learning in my career how to separate and how to come home after a really rough story or a tough live shot, whether it’s the story content itself or I was mad at my own performance or I had a difficult time navigating something at work because 99% of what I do is off camera.

00;25;05;29 – 00;25;18;13

Erielle Reshef

Yeah. And so it’s, you know, the viewers don’t see all the reasons that things go wrong. They just see me and I possible, you know, as you mentioned at the beginning of this, you know, we can all go absent minded and just kind of not do our best.

00;25;18;15 – 00;25;18;24

Dr. Mona

Yeah.

00;25;18;24 – 00;25;36;06

Erielle Reshef

And so I have to find a way that once I walk through the threshold of the door, I can either sit there and dwell in the bad day and beat myself up, or I can try to seize those moments with my kids and try to separate and not let that bleed into how I engage with my kids. And I’m a work in progress.

00;25;36;06 – 00;25;53;00

Erielle Reshef

That’s another thing that I have just accepted, that sometimes I feel like I’ve got this together, and sometimes I feel like I’m falling apart and can feel like a zero sum game where I’m succeeding at work and then I’m failing on the home front or I’m, you know, really present at home and feel like I’m making headway with my kids and my husband.

00;25;53;02 – 00;26;10;12

Erielle Reshef

And I feel like work is slow and it’s falling by the wayside. So I think this is something everyone can relate to. Whether you are a working parent or a stay at home parent, or somewhere in between, we all can feel like we’re if we’re succeeding on one front, we’re failing on another. And you know, we’re all a work in progress.

00;26;10;12 – 00;26;14;25

Erielle Reshef

That’s all I can say is that nobody has it nailed down, no matter how perfect it looks on Instagram.

00;26;14;28 – 00;26;38;13

Dr. Mona

Yeah, absolutely. And you mentioned that already with like the activity tables and all of that. Like those things are all great, but it’s all just such a personal situation and understanding that we all are. We all have strengths, we all have weaknesses, and we all just are going to thrive in certain areas. And it’s almost like when someone say, I’ve accepted that life and motherhood and parenthood is yoyos like, meaning sometimes it’s just going to be good, sometimes it’s going to be down like valleys and peaks.

00;26;38;15 – 00;26;47;20

Dr. Mona

It really does change perspective when you just accept that and say, I can be upset, it’s okay. I’m going to be happy when I’m happy, but life is going to continue on and we’re just going to get through this together.

00;26;47;22 – 00;27;05;14

Erielle Reshef

Definitely. And, you know, as someone who is a deeply empathetic person, I feel other people’s emotions almost more pretty on my own. I’ve had to learn that I need to check in with myself, and it’s not a sign of weakness that a story really gets to me, that it actually can be a real value add and an asset.

00;27;05;14 – 00;27;21;10

Erielle Reshef

But I also have to guard my heart in a way that, you know, I’m sure you and your husband both do, seeing what you see on a daily basis. And so it’s a careful tightrope walk of knowing that sometimes your greatest strength can also be your Achilles heel.

00;27;21;12 – 00;27;22;11

Dr. Mona

Yeah.

00;27;22;13 – 00;27;32;06

Erielle Reshef

It’s a constant process of working to find the right. I don’t even want to use the word balance. I’m looking for an excuse for something that is not toward balance because I hate that word.

00;27;32;08 – 00;27;34;10

Dr. Mona

Yes, but is it constant.

00;27;34;12 – 00;27;35;09

Erielle Reshef

Push and pull?

00;27;35;13 – 00;27;37;22

Dr. Mona

Yes. That’s a good one. I like that exactly.

00;27;37;25 – 00;27;57;19

Erielle Reshef

Maybe that works better to allow yourself to be yourself. And for me, that’s an empath. Someone that like, really feels other people’s emotions and deeply cares about the stories that I do and the people that are involved in the stories I do and the people behind the scenes working with me on the stories that I work on, but also taking a moment to take a deep breath and check in with myself and say, you know what?

00;27;57;19 – 00;28;09;18

Erielle Reshef

Today, today’s the day for yoga. Today is the day for, you know, a quiet moment or today’s a day to veg out and watch some ridiculous brain candy TV show so that I’m not thinking about this anymore.

00;28;09;21 – 00;28;27;29

Dr. Mona

And I guess I love talking to you about this. It’s just so uplifting and just nice to connect with another parent. Other mom. Just about these things. What do you think has been the biggest thing you’ve learned from your career that has helped you in motherhood, or vice versa? What you’ve learned in motherhood that has helped you in your career?

00;28;28;02 – 00;28;30;06

Erielle Reshef

That is such a great question.

00;28;30;08 – 00;28;35;01

Dr. Mona

I get asked all the time, so I would love to throw it out back to other people too. Oh well, I think.

00;28;35;01 – 00;28;54;24

Erielle Reshef

It is that sense. There’s a couple fold. One is to prioritize guys, because there’s only so many hours in the day, and your heart only has so much space. And so prioritizing means I know that I’m going to be busy, you know, Wednesday’s not going to be the same as Thursday. That’s not the kind of job I have and not the kind of life I lead, which can be a real joy.

00;28;54;25 – 00;29;16;13

Erielle Reshef

I mean, it’s thrilling to have that kind of career, but it can also mean there’s a lot of ups and downs for my family, and there’s a lot of times I miss dinner, and there’s a lot of times that I’m not home for bedtime. So it’s really to prioritize and to seize those, like circling back to seize those moments that I know I am home to tuck my kids in with no phone, to set boundaries for myself.

00;29;16;13 – 00;29;26;17

Erielle Reshef

You know, even if it’s telling my producers, I’ll work on this till midnight. But I have a gap in the night where from seven till 830, I am either tucking my kids in.

00;29;26;20 – 00;29;26;26

Dr. Mona

Or.

00;29;26;29 – 00;29;39;26

Erielle Reshef

Eating dinner with my husband, and I literally will drill myself until one in the morning and then get up for GMA the next day, but my preference is to have that hour and a half of golden time. So it’s really priorities. Prioritization.

00;29;39;28 – 00;29;52;07

Dr. Mona

Oh this is so great. Thank you so much for joining me. I love chatting with you not only on the show, but like I said, just on social media, my social media friend. I hope one day we can actually meet in person. That would be awesome.

00;29;52;07 – 00;29;53;23

Erielle Reshef

I’m Mona.

00;29;54;01 – 00;30;06;00

Dr. Mona

Yes, I love connecting with you and I’m just so grateful that we were able to make this recording work amidst the schedule, and I am so grateful for all of the guests that I have come on the show. So thank you again for joining me today.

00;30;06;02 – 00;30;25;29

Erielle Reshef

It’s an absolute pleasure, and thank you for sharing your own personal journey as well. Whether it’s fertility parenting, it means a lot to the parenting community out there who may feel isolated and alone and only see the glamorous side of Instagram. It’s a real value add to have a voice like yours that comes from the medical fields, that can give really good guidance on so many different levels.

00;30;25;29 – 00;30;28;05

Erielle Reshef

So thank you for everything that you’re doing to.

00;30;28;07 – 00;30;44;23

Dr. Mona

And for you. Being the first official guest on one of these five episodes, I am so excited that this is one of them. Just because, like I said, I think we can learn so much from each other just about hearing stories and hearing how we navigate, not just the easy stuff, because it can be hard. Like you said.

00;30;44;23 – 00;31;03;15

Dr. Mona

Like sometimes you see 80% of what we see on social is easy, or even in real life, like, not a lot of times are people at parties talking about the difficult things, right? It’s just social. And like we were going to talk about what’s going well, having those heart to hearts, having those hey, sometimes this is really difficult for me and maybe it’s difficult for you.

00;31;03;18 – 00;31;24;21

Dr. Mona

It provides so much peace, especially for fellow women. And a lot of my listeners are women. I have some sprinkled men probably, that are maybe partners of women who are being told to listen to my show. But yeah, I just again, I really appreciate this. It resonates so deeply with me for you to share your journey, your story, how you navigate all the things that you navigate as a mother.

00;31;24;23 – 00;31;28;05

Dr. Mona

I know it’s going to really help another mother listening as well today.

00;31;28;08 – 00;31;53;13

Erielle Reshef

Thank you so much. And I think it’s important to recognize that no matter how ideal someone’s life looks from the outside, no one has all the answers and we all just lean on each other and find the joy. And I really think that this conversation will bring joy to a lot of people, hopefully will let people feel a sense of comfort that they’re not alone and that it’s okay to not be perfectly okay all the time, and that we’re all works in progress.

00;31;53;16 – 00;31;59;05

Dr. Mona

And where can people find you to stay connected? I know you have an Instagram, but if you want to say that out and then, anywhere else.

00;31;59;05 – 00;32;12;03

Erielle Reshef

As well, I would love to stay connected with that. Obviously you can find me on every ABC platform, but you can also find me at Ariel Reshef, on Instagram and on Twitter. I’m also on Facebook, so I look forward to talking with you.

00;32;12;06 – 00;32;17;04

Dr. Mona

Awesome. And I will be linking that on the show notes as well. And thank you again for joining us today.

00;32;17;06 – 00;32;19;11

Erielle Reshef

An absolute pleasure and a joy.

00;32;19;13 – 00;32;39;27

Dr. Mona

Yes. Well everyone, thank you for listening. As always, if you love this episode and you love the style of episode where I’m inviting people on to talk about real life things in motherhood and parenthood, make sure you leave a review wherever you can, leave a review and a rating as well. That’s how the podcast continues to grow, and how I can continue to bring on these amazing guests on the show.

00;32;39;27 – 00;32;42;26

Dr. Mona

And I cannot wait to chat with another guest next week.

00;32;42;27 – 00;32;47;18

Dr. Mona

Thank you for tuning in for this week’s episode. As always, please leave a review.

00;32;47;20 – 00;32;50;21

Dr. Mona

Share this episode with a friend. Share it on your social media.

00;32;50;23 – 00;32;57;15

Dr. Mona

Make sure to follow me at PedsDocTalk on Instagram and subscribe to my YouTube channel. PedsDocTalk TV.