If mealtimes feel heavier than they should, this episode is going to make a lot click. I sit down with dietitians Diana and Dani to unpack how diet culture quietly slips into everyday parenting and shapes how kids see food, their bodies, and themselves. Their new book offers a roadmap for raising kids who trust their bodies and feel safe at the table, and our conversation goes far beyond picky eating. We talk about the language we use, the pressure we don’t realize we’re applying, and how small daily moments build a child’s long-term relationship with food.

What we discuss:

• Why diet culture starts affecting kids as early as preschool

• The “invisible curriculum” kids absorb from our modeling, messaging, and moments

• What food positivity actually means and how it goes beyond food neutrality

• How the Division of Responsibility supports trust and self-regulation

• Common ways parents accidentally misapply feeding advice

• Why labeling foods as good or bad backfires long term

• The connection between pressure, restriction, and future dieting patterns

• Reframing picky eaters as “learning eaters”

• Why fewer than 5 percent of so-called picky eaters are truly nutrient deficient

• How values like control vs connection influence feeding decisions

• Small shifts parents can make to protect a child’s relationship with food

To connect with Diana Rice follow her on Instagram @⁠anti.diet.kids and check out all her resources at ⁠⁠https://tinyseednutrition.com/⁠⁠ ⁠

Follow Dani Lebovitz at @⁠kid.food.explorers⁠ and visit her website: ⁠https://kidfoodexplorers.com/⁠ 

Their new book “Food Positivity: How to Ditch Diet Culture and Talk to Kids About Food“ is available for pre-order: https://www.amazon.com/Food-Positivity-Ditch-Culture-About/dp/1394335202/

Enjoy Diana Rice’s first episode, “Your kid doesn’t need a diet“ on the PedsDocTalk podcast. ⁠https://pedsdoctalk.com/podcast/your-kid-doesnt-need-a-diet-approaching-conversations-about-our-childs-weight-and-health-in-a-productive-way/⁠ 

00:00 Welcome + What Is Food Positivity?
02:29 Meet Diana and Dani
04:24 How Diet Culture Starts in Early Childhood
06:09 The Invisible Curriculum: Modeling, Messaging, Moments
07:59 Food Positivity vs Food Neutrality
14:43 Division of Responsibility Made Simple
18:59 Why Red Light, Green Light Backfires
20:15 Felt Safety, Trust, and Confident Food Leadership
33:22 Rethinking “Picky Eating” as Learning Eating
38:10 Pressure, Restriction, and Self-Regulation
42:01 Small Shifts to Protect Your Child’s Relationship with Food
48:43 Where to Get the Book + Final Takeaways

Our podcasts are also now on YouTube. If you prefer a video podcast with closed captioning, check us out there and⁠ ⁠subscribe to PedsDocTalk⁠⁠.

Get trusted pediatric advice, relatable parenting insights, and evidence-based tips delivered straight to your inbox—join thousands of parents who rely on the PDT newsletter to stay informed, supported, and confident.⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠Join the newsletter⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠!

And don’t forget to follow⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠@pedsdoctalkpodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ on Instagram—our new space just for parents looking for real talk and real support.

We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on the⁠ ⁠PedsDocTalk Podcast Sponsorships⁠⁠ page of the website.

00;00;00;05 – 00;00;18;20

Diana Rice

The division of responsibility is meant to be food selection neutral. And what that means is not only, are we putting, you know, the, whether to eat the food and how much of the food to eat in the child’s hands. The division is those who responsibilities go to the child, and the parent has the three responsibilities of what the food is.

 

00;00;18;27 – 00;00;42;18

Diana Rice

When the food is served and where the food is served. But the food itself, the family meal. There’s no there’s no criteria for what the family meal needs to be. It can be McDonald’s and fries. It can be your traditional food that your grandmother taught you how to make.

 

00;00;42;21 – 00;01;14;23

Dr. Mona

Hey, everyone. Doctor Mona here, your pediatrician, mom, friend and trusted confidant. And welcome back to the show where we have honest conversations about raising healthy kids and becoming more thoughtful parents and humans along the way. If mealtimes feel heavier than they should. This episode is going to make a lot. Click. Today I’m joined by a pediatric dietitians, Diana Rice and Danny Liebowitz, coauthors of the book Food Positivity How to Ditch Diet Culture and Talk to Kids About Food, which is a practical guide to helping kids trust their bodies and feel safe at the table.

 

00;01;14;26 – 00;01;33;14

Dr. Mona

I had the honor of writing the forward for this book because I believe so strongly in the message and the science behind it. In this episode, we talk about how diet culture quietly shows up in parenting long before the teen years, often through everyday comments, rules, and worries. We don’t even realize we’re communicating. We explore questions like, when does diet culture actually start affecting kids?

 

00;01;33;19 – 00;01;54;03

Dr. Mona

What are children learning from our modeling, messaging, and moments around food? What does food positivity really mean and how is it different from food neutrality? And how do we raise kids who trust their bodies instead of fearing food? We also talk about picky eating, pressure at the table, the division of responsibility, and how small daily moments shape a child’s lifelong relationship with food.

 

00;01;54;06 – 00;02;21;18

Dr. Mona

Oh, it’s so good. But before we dive in, make sure to subscribe to the show. I’ve told you all already, but it’s so important. Download your favorite episodes or just set up automatic downloads and share this episode on social media. Tag at Pete’s Dog talk at the Dog Talk podcast at Antidote Diet dot kids and at kids dot food Dot explorers so we can keep these conversations going and help the show grow and help people get this book into people’s hands.

 

00;02;21;23 – 00;02;29;26

Dr. Mona

Let’s get into this amazing conversation.

 

00;02;29;28 – 00;02;40;10

Dr. Mona

Welcome to the show, both of you. We are talking all about food, positivity, picky eating, and raising kids who trust food. Congratulations on the book and thank you for being here.

 

00;02;40;13 – 00;02;41;21

Diana Rice

Thank you for having us.

 

00;02;41;23 – 00;02;46;02

Dr. Mona

And so I think, Diana, you’ve been on the show before. Danny, have you been on my show before?

 

00;02;46;05 – 00;02;46;23

Dani Lebovitz

I have not.

 

00;02;46;27 – 00;03;05;16

Dr. Mona

Yes. So we so, Diana, Diana has been on the show. We actually talked about, like, you know, diet culture and things like that. And it was a great episode. We’ll link that to the show notes. And then, Danny, this is our encounter. We’re here. We’re together. And I’m so excited and and I’m just so happy that one that you all can come on and that we can talk about this book.

 

00;03;05;19 – 00;03;11;24

Dr. Mona

I’ve already shared it on my stories. When you guys got me the physical copy and so many DMs were like, this is the book I need.

 

00;03;11;25 – 00;03;12;18

Diana Rice

Yeah.

 

00;03;12;20 – 00;03;33;29

Dr. Mona

I can’t wait to get my hands on it. I’m like, preorder, get it? We’re debuting this, you know, a week before it actually is out into the world. And so preorders really matter. And it’s not just about, you know, obviously sales and making it like that were like number one, it’s that we want people to get this information like, this is a book that’s going to change how you view eating.

 

00;03;34;06 – 00;03;42;07

Dr. Mona

Thank you all. How exciting is it to like knowing that your book is going to be out in the world, or is out in the world if someone is listening to this after the debut date?

 

00;03;42;10 – 00;04;01;05

Diana Rice

Oh my gosh. Incredible. I mean, what’s what’s really incredible about this book is that we didn’t actually we’re like, you know, let’s write a book about whatever the editors approached us and they were like, hey, have you ever thought about writing a book? And I was like, well, if we were going to write a book, here’s exactly what it would be, because it’s what we hear from our communities all the time.

 

00;04;01;12 – 00;04;19;19

Diana Rice

Every single page is inspired by the concerns that we hear from, you know, both of our respective followings. And, you know, we just poured that all out on the page. And, you know, that’s the number one thing is how to talk to kids about food. And that was the resource that didn’t exist yet. Parents want to do better.

 

00;04;19;21 – 00;04;24;21

Diana Rice

They want to do better than what they grew up with. They don’t have a roadmap. So we wrote it.

 

00;04;24;23 – 00;04;42;03

Dr. Mona

I love it, and the title is Perfect Food Positivity. I think it’s something that so many of us I didn’t grow up with it. You know, I, I had a very unhealthy relationship with sweets. I had body image issues. And you guys address all of this, you know, and I think it’s so important that people understand that meals are not just about meals.

 

00;04;42;03 – 00;05;00;26

Dr. Mona

Picky eating is not just about picky eating. There’s so much about the language and how we talk about food and we’ll get into that. And so, you know, the first thing I, the first question I have is many parents think diet culture shows up in the teen years. You know, when kids are absorbing messages about food through social media or peers.

 

00;05;00;26 – 00;05;15;04

Dr. Mona

But you all would agree that it exists long before that. Oh, how does diet culture quietly show up through everyday moments? Comments, rules and worries? And what does that teach kids about food and their bodies? Early on?

 

00;05;15;06 – 00;05;37;10

Diana Rice

Yeah. So in our introductory chapter, we have some statistics that at age three is when kids start to associate negative traits with larger bodies at age five, they start worrying about their own body sizes. And at age nine, many kids have started experimenting with dieting already. So it is, you know, we can’t put our heads in the sand about this.

 

00;05;37;15 – 00;05;58;05

Diana Rice

It is something that they’re already exposed to, and it comes through in the messages that we receive about, what they should be eating and, you know, the healthy versus unhealthy and, you know, processed foods and all that. And I think a lot of parents don’t realize that, you know, we’re trying to teach our kids to read and be kind.

 

00;05;58;08 – 00;06;09;03

Diana Rice

And it seems like a good idea to teach them about healthy food. But a lot of parents don’t realize, just how very much diet culture informs that and is going to inform our kids choices later on.

 

00;06;09;05 – 00;06;31;29

Dani Lebovitz

And just to add on that, there’s something that we talk about in the book called The Invisible Curriculum. So those are the the three M’s, and that is your modeling, your messaging and your moments. And those are those everyday things that you don’t even think about that are influencing the way kids think and feel about food and their bodies.

 

00;06;32;01 – 00;07;00;06

Dani Lebovitz

And so it’s not just, you know, something they see on TV, and it’s not just the lessons that they learn in school. It’s the things maybe you say or don’t say around the table. It’s size when you’re looking at yourself in the mirror and your child is picking up on all of those things. And I think that is really important to highlight is that their kids are like little sponges.

 

00;07;00;06 – 00;07;12;12

Dani Lebovitz

We know from a developmental perspective they are learning and growing from everything we say. And it’s very evident that even those everyday moments have a a huge impact.

 

00;07;12;14 – 00;07;29;04

Dr. Mona

I love the three M’s. I mean it’s so important. And it again this is something that the three M’s is something so useful in all aspects of parenting. And you are right on that. I think from my perspective and why I was so excited to be asked from you both to to write the foreword is how how impactful food positivity is.

 

00;07;29;04 – 00;07;45;11

Dr. Mona

You know, from a pediatrician lens. I think we forget that this isn’t again, this isn’t about I don’t want your your kid to be this, like, elaborate eater that eats everything. I just want them to have that healthy relationship and that’s what you all are preaching about. You know that. And people forget that. It’s not just the relationship with food.

 

00;07;45;13 – 00;07;59;07

Dr. Mona

It’s obviously relationship with their body. You know, and I think explain to the listener why that’s so important, you know, how would you describe food positivity for someone who may not know that term or healthy relationship with food?

 

00;07;59;13 – 00;08;27;02

Diana Rice

Yeah. So, there’s actually quite a lot of research, both from, the Ellen Satter Institute. I know you’re a fan of Ellen Satter, and you promoted Division of Responsibility, which I’m sure we’ll get to, and, as well as the folks behind, Intuitive Eating. Evelyn, tribally, and at least that shows us that when a person has a healthy relationship with food, there are clinical tools that can measure, you know, how how comfortable and confident are you around food?

 

00;08;27;04 – 00;08;50;28

Diana Rice

That person will naturally self-select a diet that meets their needs. So all of this. Eat this, not that. Yeah. And, you know, you know, get your five servings of vegetables, like, we are both dietitians. We, we there’s a whole chapter on nutrition. We really, really, really want kids to be getting balanced diets. And we do include a lot of content for the parent to take over that responsibility.

 

00;08;50;28 – 00;09;17;12

Diana Rice

While the child isn’t yet making fully making those decisions for themselves. But the goal is not to get x many grams of magnesium or potassium into your kid on any given day. The goal is to, you know, have them have this whole childhood that leads up to, you know, we don’t want failure to launch, right? Like we want lift off where they, they head off to adulthood.

 

00;09;17;12 – 00;09;39;23

Diana Rice

And I work with college students who just they don’t even necessarily have eating disorders. They’re just, like, not eating or only eating fast food. And because they don’t have the skills to. You know, I know something Danny says all the time is that, you know, she she asked her daughter, you can take this one, Danny, when you asked your kid, what would you what would you make if you were making me lunch?

 

00;09;39;23 – 00;09;43;23

Diana Rice

Right.

 

00;09;43;25 – 00;09;52;24

Dr. Mona

Now, let’s take a quick break to hear from our sponsors who support helps us keep bringing you this show.

 

00;09;52;26 – 00;10;24;12

Dani Lebovitz

Yeah, it’s it’s all about skill building. And I’m just going to add on to a piece to kind of define how we look and think about food positivity specifically. And then I’ll circle back to that at each skill building piece, because what we’re doing with food positivity is we are supporting the whole child, whole child well-being. And I would say that the backbone of this book is based on positive psychology, in addition to everything that Diana already mentioned.

 

00;10;24;12 – 00;10;53;17

Dani Lebovitz

And the seating piece is obviously huge responsive feeding. But when we look at positive psychology and we’re aligning with Mark Siegel men’s perma model that, elevates and brings joy and thriving into that conversation, we recognize that if we want to raise healthy kids, we want to do that from the inside out. And if we are doing that from the inside out, then we are focusing less on what they eat, and we have to transform how they experience food.

 

00;10;53;19 – 00;11;17;27

Dani Lebovitz

And so what that means for us is, and I know there is a big, the big, food neutrality movement. And we think that’s great, but something that we really wish and hope and we want to bring to this conversation is we want to move beyond food neutrality. We want to take it a step further because it’s not just what we take away.

 

00;11;17;27 – 00;11;44;22

Dani Lebovitz

Right? We’re we’re not just taking away morality, it’s what we add. And so instead of removing guilt, we can create joy. And instead of avoiding pressure, we can build confidence. And instead of food as fuel, we can embrace that connection to our culture and to our learning. Because food positivity isn’t, just about eating. It’s about raising kids who trust their body to feel safe.

 

00;11;44;25 – 00;12;08;26

Dani Lebovitz

Exploring new foods and enjoying a variety of foods without feeling guilt, and to really developing that positive relationship with food for life. And that starts with safety. It starts with trust. And we can do that through skill building. And that brings me back to what Diana was talking about is, is every child is unique. There is no one size fits all advice.

 

00;12;08;29 – 00;12;33;06

Dani Lebovitz

And that’s something that I really, I really love and I value about this resource we’ve created because it’s not a step by step approach and it is not a will. You have x, Y, and z to achieve. It’s really saying you do you you know your family best. You have a unique little person standing or sitting across from you at the table.

 

00;12;33;09 – 00;13;03;12

Dani Lebovitz

And so let’s let’s let us help you serve your whole child best by giving you tools and showing you a variety of tools to support them. And so my skill building I have three girls. They are five, seven and nine, and the things that I do with skill building for each of them are vastly different. And so my oldest might be inviting her to help select my middle would be to actually do the experience of cooking.

 

00;13;03;12 – 00;13;06;01

Dani Lebovitz

And my little she’s just there for the the good time.

 

00;13;06;04 – 00;13;07;06

Diana Rice

Yeah.

 

00;13;07;09 – 00;13;27;22

Dr. Mona

She’s there for the right. No, I you know, I love that we’re talking about this difference between food positivity and food neutrality and how it’s so much more than just neutrality. It’s putting the positive nature into food and the experience. Full disclaimer I, I don’t feel like I grew up with good food positivity, and I don’t think it’s a, you know, mistake for my parents.

 

00;13;27;22 – 00;13;46;03

Dr. Mona

I think they just didn’t know. Right. And so this book provides that information not only for our generation, but grandparents and other caregivers. And I want to also be very transparent that when I was, you know, starting out my career, I fell into the good and bad labeling. And a lot of that’s we all. Yeah. And that’s a lot of that.

 

00;13;46;10 – 00;14;06;15

Dr. Mona

There was a book called, red light, green light for, for for food. I think you all are familiar where it’s like it was used by a lot of endocrinologists. And so I learned about it from endocrinologist colleagues. And for those of you who are not familiar, it’s a book that that categorizes food as red, light green light, yellow light food, which is what we’re talking about with this like hierarchy.

 

00;14;06;20 – 00;14;25;09

Dr. Mona

And I shared it on my stories. This is when I first started my social media in 2019. This is me as a, you know, new new doc on social. And the dietitian messaged me and she was like, hey, we don’t really like that book. And I’m like, oh. And I’m like, what do you mean? And then she messaged kindly and I learned and I was like, oh my God.

 

00;14;25;09 – 00;14;43;09

Dr. Mona

So I say this because even in the medical system, even if you have been used to this labeling, you can learn and do better. And I think this is one of those books. So at a time where parents are often hearing this, you know, good bad labeling, and obviously you have mentioned the division of responsibility, which I think is so useful.

 

00;14;43;11 – 00;14;53;18

Dr. Mona

How does the division of responsibility support joy, connection and confidence around food? Rather than this sort of labeling like, why do we think that might be a better approach?

 

00;14;53;21 – 00;15;14;08

Diana Rice

Yeah. So one thing you might not know about the Division of responsibility, I think I don’t mean, you know, but like, you know, any of our listeners. Yeah. Who most parents find out about the Division of Responsibility via Instagram, via influencers like the three of us. And, one thing that the influencers rarely mentioned, because a lot of times they haven’t actually studied with the Ellen Satter Institute.

 

00;15;14;08 – 00;15;36;10

Diana Rice

I’ve completed on Sanders pediatric training program, is that the division of responsibility is meant to be food selection neutral. And what that means is not only, are we putting, you know, the, whether to eat the food and how much of the food to eat in the child’s hands. The division is those who responsibilities go to the child, and the parent has the three responsibilities of what the food is.

 

00;15;36;17 – 00;15;58;20

Diana Rice

When the food is served and where the food is served. But the food itself, the family meal, there’s no there’s no criteria for what the family meal needs to be. It can be McDonald’s and fries. It can be your traditional food that your grandmother taught you how to make. It can be some, you know, frozen tater tots all sound delicious.

 

00;15;58;23 – 00;16;36;14

Diana Rice

Yeah. And, you know, and and no matter what the family chooses to serve, we see the same outcomes in, the child’s relationship with food and wanting to self-select those foods that are naturally going to, get the child’s body, the foods that they need. Now, in our book, we use the concept of the food leader, which is really important, and it ties in really well with the division of responsibility, which is that, just like your child is not paying your bills is, you know, not, a young child is probably not running the washing machine, right?

 

00;16;36;14 – 00;16;58;22

Diana Rice

Like, you know, a really young child. They’re not even wiping their own butts, right? Yeah. There are a lot of things that we do on behalf of our kids. With the ultimate goal that, you know, that they are ready for lift off when they leave home. Right? And so it actually is the parent’s responsibility to be planning a nutrient dense diet.

 

00;16;58;25 – 00;17;17;20

Diana Rice

But, you know, not in the way, you know, eat this, this is a good food. Red foods are good for your heart. If you don’t eat your vegetables, you’re not going to be able to poop or whatever it is. It is a parent’s responsibility to whatever their cultural foods are, whatever time constraints they have or how much they want to contribute to, you know, time they want to dedicate to cooking.

 

00;17;17;22 – 00;17;40;05

Diana Rice

Get those meals on the table, serve them regularly through the, regularly scheduled when and where of the meals, let the kids pick whether to eat those things and if so, how much. And it’s okay. It’s more than okay to prioritize nutrition, but we encourage parents to do so in a way that accounts for that individuality and unique needs that Daniel is talking about.

 

00;17;40;08 – 00;17;53;07

Diana Rice

So, you know, for example, if, your kid doesn’t like to drink milk, but, you know, they still need calcium. Well, what can we do there? Do they like cheese? Do they like beans? You know, like, how else can we, you know, you don’t want to share.

 

00;17;53;07 – 00;17;56;00

Dani Lebovitz

How can we help them find their way to. Yes.

 

00;17;56;01 – 00;17;58;18

Diana Rice

Yes. Exactly. Yeah.

 

00;17;58;20 – 00;18;13;12

Dr. Mona

Yeah I love that. And I, and I love that you understand the nuance in the different type of child. And like thank you for that clarification on the division of responsibility. And you started that with saying maybe our listeners will not know this. And I always I love learning, I knew it, I knew that that was what it was.

 

00;18;13;12 – 00;18;28;13

Dr. Mona

But I love learning from experts, too, like I did with the red light Green Lantern. Now I’m like, I know better, I know I know better. That’s always that’s always what I ask my listeners. And my, our community is always have an open mind on learning more, and changing the way you think if you get better information.

 

00;18;28;13 – 00;18;30;27

Dr. Mona

Right. And I yeah.

 

00;18;30;29 – 00;18;59;01

Dani Lebovitz

I was going to say I the reason why I, so in my past life, I, was a dietitian for the Air Force. I was a certified specialist in sports dietetics. I was a sports dietitian for warrior athletes, and I was also a certified diabetes care and education specialist, not associated with pediatrics. But I began teaching a program that was using the red light, yellow light, green light program.

 

00;18;59;03 – 00;19;28;18

Dani Lebovitz

And I saw this look of guilt and shame staring back at me, something I knew all too well from my lived experiences growing up as a neurodivergent person and understanding that these kids sitting in front of me had these challenges with food now that I have created for them, and it’s nothing that they could actually do anything about because they don’t make the decisions in their home.

 

00;19;28;22 – 00;19;52;14

Dani Lebovitz

They aren’t the food leaders, they aren’t doing the shopping. They aren’t the cooking. They are in charge of their family’s budget. And so we have put these adult expectations on these tiny humans and then shame them. And we’re trying to teach them at their way to eating better when they have zero control. And I also wanted to add something to something that Diana was talking about.

 

00;19;52;17 – 00;20;15;17

Dani Lebovitz

And it goes alongside with the division responsibility and this is something I really love, that Diana kind of pointed out, sort of after we were done writing the book. Yeah. And this was something that like we kind of learned about ourselves after we were literally done with a manuscript. So something that we both agree on, and that we were very adamant about is nutrition matters.

 

00;20;15;17 – 00;20;41;17

Dani Lebovitz

It matters so much. But what you feed matters. How you feed makes all the difference. How that child feels sitting at the table matters even more. And there are a couple of things that we know a child needs before they are ready to even eat. And one of those things, and one of the primary things is this idea of felt safety.

 

00;20;41;17 – 00;21;11;08

Dani Lebovitz

So it’s not just safety, it’s this internal I believe I am safe, not a parent saying I know you’re safe. It is this child internally saying, I am safe, I belong here. And as a prerequisite. And the next one is trust. And so that is something that I found so fascinating because my work is very in food literacy and development, education.

 

00;21;11;10 – 00;21;44;20

Dani Lebovitz

And that is the piece that I love, live and breathe every day. But Diana has this intuitive eating side and and is an expert and doer. And so I, you know, we’ve had many a conversations of why I struggle with Dr.. And she’s talked about the mis application which I think we should definitely highlight because it’s so interesting but something she said once we finished with the entire book was like, well, I really think our work here is kind of like the precursor.

 

00;21;44;20 – 00;21;48;07

Dani Lebovitz

Before someone can use steel.

 

00;21;48;09 – 00;22;08;12

Dr. Mona

I you already mentioned already about the door in terms of the fact that people, people often misinterpreted in that they are not realizing, that it has to be neutral as well. Right? Like you’re not only choosing the what, when and where, but that the food itself is neutral. Is there something else about the doer that you feel like is important for a listener to, to get before they read your book?

 

00;22;08;14 – 00;22;29;03

Diana Rice

Yeah. Well, one is that if you’re getting information about you are from Instagram, social media, social media, you know, I, I’m not I’m not criticizing most of the dietitians out there, fighting the good fight, but it is really hard to convey the nuance of, a model like, do you are in a single Instagram post?

 

00;22;29;06 – 00;22;58;24

Diana Rice

Unfortunately, what often comes across is that parents here, you know, parents choose the what, parents choose what the food is. And so all they have to do is not serve Doritos and not serve French fries and put tons of vegetables on the plate. But, what what Danny was just getting at is that, you know, what we discovered through our process of exploring, you know, developmental needs and what kids really need to feel safe is that if you want, you can’t do that as a covert kind of restriction, right?

 

00;22;58;24 – 00;23;19;17

Diana Rice

If your kid is interested in chicken nuggets, French fries, whatever it is, they it is not going to support their relationship with food for them to never have that item in the house. We see this all the time with sugar, right? Parents themselves say, oh, I have no control around sugar. My kid seems, you know, crazy for sugar.

 

00;23;19;17 – 00;23;34;26

Diana Rice

Whenever my kid is around sugar. So the best solution is just to not have it in the house. But coming from an intuitive eating background, we know that that is not the way to become habituated to the food and to actually Nelly to to be a kid. I think all five of our kids, I have two daughters and Danny has three.

 

00;23;35;00 – 00;23;38;24

Diana Rice

We’ll push away a plate of birthday cake when they’ve had enough.

 

00;23;38;24 – 00;23;39;11

Dr. Mona

Yes.

 

00;23;39;14 – 00;23;40;11

Diana Rice

You know, and.

 

00;23;40;13 – 00;23;41;06

Dani Lebovitz

I don’t like paper.

 

00;23;41;12 – 00;23;42;17

Diana Rice

I, I feel.

 

00;23;42;17 – 00;23;49;15

Dr. Mona

Like that my son does that too. And I’m like, see, he he has a really healthy relationship with those. When he’s done, they have the sugar.

 

00;23;49;15 – 00;24;07;19

Diana Rice

What’s actually happening there is they’re not really thinking about this consciously, but what’s happening in their body is they’re like, oh, I don’t want this anymore. Like, right. Being fueled by nothing but sugar doesn’t feel good. And so they just push it away, run off to play or whatever it is. But they’re never going to get to that point.

 

00;24;07;21 – 00;24;31;19

Diana Rice

If, if we misapplied DLR in saying, we can only serve, you know, the, the parent approved foods, right. So basically, we encourage that if a child is interested in any kind of food, whether it’s something sweet or, you know, chicken nuggets, or honestly, you know, my my kids came home wanting to try cucumbers that their, their friends had had in their lunchboxes at school.

 

00;24;31;26 – 00;24;46;28

Diana Rice

And, you know, so if you have this, like, open minded, like, sure, you want to try it, let’s try it. I mean, you know, budget, you know, notwithstanding, I know that that’s certainly challenging as well. That gives kids this like, wonder mindset of I can try anything. I can choose for myself whether I like it or not.

 

00;24;47;05 – 00;25;09;26

Diana Rice

I can figure out in my own body when I need to stop. And that’s basically the opposite of what diet culture teaches us. Diet culture teaches us you need to control your diet. You can’t have this in the house. You’re a bad parent if you offer your kids Doritos or sugar or whatever it is. And then we’ve got all these kids who, make it to adulthood, and they don’t actually know, self-regulation.

 

00;25;09;26 – 00;25;41;09

Diana Rice

That’s a huge concept in the book as well, is, the diet culture says, you know, you will adhere to our regulation standards. Self-regulation is, I don’t I don’t really want another cookie or, I had a burger and fries and I could really go for a salad for dinner. You know, that’s self-regulation. And that’s when we see those outcomes of, the research that shows that people will naturally self-select a diet that meets their nutrient needs when they have a healthy relationship with food.

 

00;25;41;11 – 00;25;49;16

Dr. Mona

Now, let’s take a quick break to hear from our sponsors who support helps us keep bringing you this show.

 

00;25;49;19 – 00;26;04;06

Dr. Mona

Yeah, like I had, you know, a, issue with sugar. And so a lot of it was because sugar was a reward growing up, you know, and I know you guys talk about that, meaning I you finish this, you’re going to get dessert. You finish this, you’re going to get dessert. And I grew up also with emotional eating where it would be like, you’re sad.

 

00;26;04;06 – 00;26;28;20

Dr. Mona

Very common in our culture. Eat the food. Emotional connection of food that that we can’t have food because it makes us feel good. But whenever I was bored, whenever I was stressed, I would go for the sugary stuff and to the point where I would binge. Like I would literally hide and scarf down like a whole thing. A thing of, cookies or whatever, you know, and that again, that understanding of the body of like at some point that’s not going to feel great.

 

00;26;28;24 – 00;26;47;01

Dr. Mona

But I don’t have to say that to my kid. Like, they can just learn it by the responsibility. And what you had said beautifully about, like my, my husband and I, we agree on everything in parenting except this. He is. He is the good bad labeler. He’s so anti sugar and I’m telling him I.

 

00;26;47;01 – 00;26;48;06

Dani Lebovitz

Have a date with him.

 

00;26;48;09 – 00;26;50;27

Diana Rice

That’s like he does not know.

 

00;26;50;29 – 00;26;59;20

Dr. Mona

The book came and I’m like, look who wrote the for. But can you just read this entire book? You know you read a lot of you read a lot of self-help books, but this is a self-help book for you.

 

00;26;59;23 – 00;27;00;07

Diana Rice

 

00;27;00;09 – 00;27;02;21

Dr. Mona

But yeah, I explain to him, I’m like.

 

00;27;02;24 – 00;27;30;00

Dani Lebovitz

Yeah, him like to acknowledge him and his his perspective. In any of the parents listening like we because of diet culture, we feel like we need to do certain things to feel like we are a good parent. This is what good parenting look like, looks like. So most parents control food because they feel like they’re scared that something bad might happen to their child.

 

00;27;30;05 – 00;27;48;11

Dani Lebovitz

You know, if there’s one thing every single parent can agree on is we want the very same thing for our children. We want to raise healthy, happy kids who thrive and feel good about themselves. And so we as parents feel like, oh my gosh, I need to control food because I want to protect them. And so he’s being Papa Bear.

 

00;27;48;11 – 00;28;13;17

Dani Lebovitz

He is trying to provide that protection the best way he knows how. But what we hope that our readers take away is that when when you are Papa Bear or Mama Bear, yes, we know that this comes from a place of love. But when we look at the research, we can see that control interrupts our kids ability to listen to their hunger and fullness.

 

00;28;13;17 – 00;28;37;16

Dani Lebovitz

Cuz it limits their ability to self-regulate and trust their body over time. And that’s sort of where this, food leadership shift comes in and aligning our values and how that is understood with children. So it’s not just what you say, it’s what they understand and how they feel that in their bodies.

 

00;28;37;19 – 00;28;57;02

Dr. Mona

So speaking to someone like my husband, because I’m going to make him listen to this and I love him so much, okay, I love you. I want us to be better. But how what does that confident food little leadership look like instead? Like, what is it in this situation? Where am I, my husband? The moment my son starts eating something with sugar, he starts to feel this like bubbling of anger.

 

00;28;57;05 – 00;29;12;15

Dr. Mona

Yes, sweat dripping down when we take him to dinner. And I let him have three bowls of ice cream because he wants three bowls of ice cream, and he ate his. And he ate his entire dinner. And I know he’s a great variety eater. I don’t care. And he’s like, Mona, why are we doing that? What? What was that?

 

00;29;12;16 – 00;29;14;20

Dr. Mona

Would that confident food leadership live for us?

 

00;29;14;20 – 00;29;35;01

Diana Rice

So one thing is that there’s a bonus handout, that’s accessible via QR code that is getting your co-parent on board. So that’s one thing. And, there’s entire chapter. Chapter 12 is dedicated to exactly what the food leader, needs to do. And honestly, it’s a lot like it kind of sucks because it it’s a lot like we’re all stressed.

 

00;29;35;01 – 00;30;16;07

Diana Rice

We’re all, like, burning the candle from both ends. And there’s a lot that needs to to that the food leader needs to be doing in the home. And I, we of course, encourage parents to get their own mental health support and, you know, be in a good place to be able to do that. But before he reads that chapter, I would actually recommend that he read chapter ten, which is all about values, because one thing that we discovered in the book writing process is that a lot of kid nutrition advice in adult nutrition advice is based on, kind of wanting to sugarcoat negative control oriented values and repackage them in a way that that

 

00;30;16;07 – 00;30;52;20

Diana Rice

doesn’t get, you know, people say like, okay, you’re like, I know I shouldn’t say good food, bad food. So maybe I should say, like growing food and sometimes do or whatever it is, but it’s just wrapping it up in a different kind of package. So we really encourage parents to dig deep into the values that they grew up with and what they are still holding on to, and whether those are things like obedience, conformity, control, achievement, these are all external values that you know, you know, if you if you align with them, then you get the stamp of approval, right?

 

00;30;52;23 – 00;31;26;16

Diana Rice

And that does it in a lot of ways where we focus on food. Right. But, in a lot of ways, authoritarian values don’t really work out for people. So we recommend, really taking a deep look at that and shifting to positive values like individuality, connection, agency, joy, overall well-being. We kind of we contrast. Well, well-being is like truly thriving versus health ism, which is a well-established concept of like doing all the right things that people say you need to do to be healthy.

 

00;31;26;18 – 00;31;57;24

Diana Rice

And, we really think that you’re not any parent listening is not going to fully be able to put this into practice without first stepping back and doing that full revamp of like, what are my goals here? Here? Really? Yeah. Because you’re really not going to achieve this, in your child, this healthy relationship with food, this, self-regulation, if you’re still still trying to control everything about it, there’s actually, a quote from Ellen Satter that we included in the book, which is you simply cannot have it both ways.

 

00;31;58;01 – 00;32;05;08

Diana Rice

If you try to be a little bit controlling and a little bit trusting, you will end up controlling, utterly confuse yourself and make your child very unhappy.

 

00;32;05;10 – 00;32;24;11

Dr. Mona

True. I always say you can’t control a lot of things with kids, but you definitely cannot control what goes into their mouth and what comes out of their butt or their like, like with potty training, I like any time they’re like, they’re like he’s withholding or this. And I’m like, yeah. It’s like, you know, again, we we create such stress around the experience of like what’s going in and what’s coming out.

 

00;32;24;11 – 00;32;27;16

Dr. Mona

Like we, we cannot control the, the GI system.

 

00;32;27;16 – 00;32;43;07

Diana Rice

Yeah. Yeah. And all of that. Yeah. And when I work with kids, that are dealing with constipation. Yeah I, I don’t go straight to diet at all. I’m like, what’s this kid dealing with? You know, our parents getting divorced. Did you recently? How did they just start a new school? Like how it goes back to that felt safety.

 

00;32;43;07 – 00;32;47;29

Diana Rice

How could we make. I mean, I’m, I’m in my 40s and I still look at dishes when I started out, right.

 

00;32;48;05 – 00;32;50;00

Dr. Mona

Yeah. Oh, totally.

 

00;32;50;02 – 00;33;07;22

Diana Rice

You know, and it so it goes back to those concepts that we explained early in the book about whether the child has felt safety and trust. And, you know, our book focuses on the outcome when it comes to to diet and nutrition. But really, kids need it for all the things.

 

00;33;07;25 – 00;33;21;29

Dr. Mona

I love it. Yeah, true. And I, as someone who obviously got first dibs on like looking at the book and and seeing that it really is just something that the principles can really transcend into so many other areas. And, you know, I there’s so much we can talk about with the book, but I know people are going to buy it already.

 

00;33;22;05 – 00;33;45;23

Dr. Mona

I do want to talk about picky eating for just a little bit. You know, at first glance, picky eating can feel like a behavior or nutrition issue and not something tied to food positivity. And parents may not understand the connection, but why is picky eating such a central part of food? Positivity? And how do things like pressure, labeling and fear during those phases of selective eating or picky eating?

 

00;33;45;26 – 00;33;48;10

Dr. Mona

How can that shape a child’s long term relationship with food?

 

00;33;48;13 – 00;33;54;19

Dani Lebovitz

What I want parents to think about and do is take a step back.

 

00;33;54;22 – 00;33;55;16

Diana Rice

 

00;33;55;19 – 00;34;40;04

Dani Lebovitz

And think about the child sitting in front of you because and I actually want to back up and say one thing, connecting it to what Diana was saying with Dr.. And this positive leadership. Something that is key and Dr.. Is structure and what I want to bring into this piece and connect to picky eating is is holding space and recognizing the unique child in front of you because, for example, you in your home might have structure that says, okay, we are eating at the table, no food inside your home.

 

00;34;40;06 – 00;35;18;15

Dani Lebovitz

But if we are expanding to looking at all children, for example, maybe children in foster care or children who have experienced food insecurity or, child who is neurodivergent and has sensory or feeding differences and the anxiety of being in a space or eating around other people. These are other things to take into account. And so I wanted to link that while we are talking about picky eating, because there are so many dynamics that come into play, that, that bring us to this concept of picky eating.

 

00;35;18;17 – 00;35;32;22

Dani Lebovitz

And now I would like to offer a reframe. I really dislike the label picky eating. And as do I, I, I think, it, it can create a self-fulfilling prophecy.

 

00;35;32;22 – 00;35;33;13

Dr. Mona

Yes.

 

00;35;33;16 – 00;36;04;26

Dani Lebovitz

Because somebody externally label us in one way. And something I’m a huge fan of is a growth mindset and helping, see the positive side or, leaving space and language for growth. And so instead we call them learning eaters. And so when we are thinking about picky eating, what we really want to first look at is your unique individual child.

 

00;36;04;28 – 00;36;31;19

Dani Lebovitz

We reframe to the idea that they are not a picky eater. They are a learning eater. And number one, whatever is going on, they are communicating something. And number two is is how to meet them where they are and help them build the skills that they need to better communicate what it is that they are trying to tell you.

 

00;36;31;27 – 00;37;08;27

Dani Lebovitz

Because what looks like, a behavior issue or a complete and utter meltdown in we all know what we’re we’re talking about here. Yeah. Is that they’re the behavior behind what is going on is not it is communication from the child. And we can look at different ages and stages of development, which in chapter eight of this book, we talk all about these ages and stages and how kids, it’s not like there’s this famous quote that it’s not what you say, it’s what they hear.

 

00;37;09;00 – 00;37;41;22

Dani Lebovitz

But that is true for adults, but for children, it’s not what you say. It’s what they understand, how they interpret whatever it is you’re saying. And so what I want parents to come away with is it’s not picky eating. It’s learning eating. And they are learning about themselves. And as a parent, we can serve and support them better when we can help them build the skills they need to help communicate and connect the dots so that we can help our kids even better.

 

00;37;41;24 – 00;37;46;16

Dr. Mona

I love it. And I also don’t like the term pick eating. I just say it because that’s colloquially what people talk about.

 

00;37;46;16 – 00;37;48;14

Dani Lebovitz

And also for us yeah yeah.

 

00;37;48;14 – 00;38;10;05

Diana Rice

Yeah yeah yeah. And one more thing on picky eating is that there’s diet culture in addressing picky eating because we think that a kid need we need to get our kid to eat. Yeah. Carrots. Get our kid to eat the salad. But what we are really after with food positivity is not to get kids to eat any particular food especially.

 

00;38;10;05 – 00;38;17;02

Diana Rice

I mean, if you think about yourself as an adult, if somebody was trying to get you to eat the food you like the least, you’d be like, get up!

 

00;38;17;02 – 00;38;19;00

Dr. Mona

Get off me! Right? Yeah, get off of it. Yeah.

 

00;38;19;01 – 00;38;46;14

Diana Rice

Because what we are after is not, you know, fixing the kid to align to the adults standards of what a healthy diet is, right? It’s getting, supporting the kid to be able to self-select. You can get nutrients from all different kinds of food. It doesn’t have to look any. Just look at all the cultures around the world, all every cultures, you know, unique foods meets the needs of our bodies in terms of protein, fat, all the all the stuff.

 

00;38;46;17 – 00;39;21;06

Diana Rice

And so it is okay to be an adult who likes the same 20 things or whatever and is meeting your nutritional needs radio. And another thing is that the research shows that, less than 5% of kids, who, parents would classify as picky eating actually are not meeting their nutrient needs. So if we can support them with their safe foods in the here and now, as they you know, what Dan is talking about in chapter eight as they, you know, grow closer to adulthood and they’re, they’re thinking shifts more towards the way that adults think.

 

00;39;21;13 – 00;39;27;08

Diana Rice

You will naturally see them be like, oh, yeah, I don’t want to try that. And that’s all we’re after. Yeah.

 

00;39;27;09 – 00;39;46;16

Dani Lebovitz

If you build that confidence and you build that skill in them by letting them build that trust in themselves, well, we’re not just feeding this child and making them comply to eat a certain way at our table. We’re teaching them the skills that they need to be able to feed themselves for life. Yeah.

 

00;39;46;19 – 00;40;10;06

Dr. Mona

Oh, I love this connection because I think so many people forget about that. And, Diana, what you had brought up about the pressure that comes with trying to just eat the carrot and eat all that, that goes against what we’re talking about here, like that relationship, because that once that pressure comes in, just like we talked about, when I’m hearing parents pressure their kid to sit on the potty like it, that that autonomy leaves the the push, the power struggle, and then the joy.

 

00;40;10;08 – 00;40;24;24

Dr. Mona

We talked about bringing the joy back in that’s just eliminated right when. And it becomes this sort of like this. And again, any time there’s any pressure in parenting and experience, I think it just really does. It doesn’t spark joy. You know, if we’re going to use.

 

00;40;24;27 – 00;40;26;02

Diana Rice

Know.

 

00;40;26;04 – 00;40;27;04

Dr. Mona

And feel and.

 

00;40;27;07 – 00;40;49;12

Diana Rice

What is it we know? I learned this from, psychologist named Joe Cormack, that when, we have pressure and restrict action in eating, it leads to non autonomous eating, which is a fancy word for, not actually self-regulating. Right. And so when that shows up, when we’re feeding kids pressure is you got to eat your vegetables do this to get dessert.

 

00;40;49;12 – 00;41;19;17

Diana Rice

Restriction is we don’t keep sugar in the house. But this is exactly what happens when adults are trying to diet too. Yeah. You know, the pressure to have a thinner body restriction about, you know, the bad foods that they can’t keep in their home. And so if we don’t want our kids to suffer from the, yo yo dieting that, you know, we all grew up with in the 90s, the Weight Watchers, the Jenny Craig, it actually is extremely relevant to not be putting pressure or restriction on them.

 

00;41;19;17 – 00;41;45;00

Diana Rice

Now, whether it’s, you know, picky eating, learning, eating or, you know, in the book we talk about kids who are it? We call them enthusiastic eaters. They really love food. That’s great. But parents get scared about the weight gain, right? And so if we can remove that pressure and restriction now to help them focus on nourishing themselves, well then our goal is that they become adults who, you know, whether their body is too large, too small by societal standards.

 

00;41;45;06 – 00;42;01;26

Diana Rice

They say, well, too bad for you guys. This is me. I’m confident. Deal with it. I’m eating, you know, a well-balanced diet that meets my needs and mind your own business. Yeah.

 

00;42;01;28 – 00;42;19;13

Dr. Mona

Now, let’s take a quick break to hear from our sponsors who support helps us keep bringing you this show. Oh, my last question for you, and I think this will be for both of you. I want to hear both of your thoughts. Now, we you have a whole chapter about this, and I love that you have it about the values system and like reflection, right?

 

00;42;19;13 – 00;42;45;06

Dr. Mona

Because I think in order to be better parents, we have to reflect on our childhood, how we had our relationship with food. Clean Your plate club, all of that many parents worry that they’re going to pass down their own body image issues, food issues into their onto their own kids. So what are some small realistic shifts that parents can make right now that protect kids relationship with food, even while they’re while they are still unlearning the diet culture?

 

00;42;45;06 – 00;42;49;17

Dr. Mona

Or, you know, those insecurities that they may have with food or that their unhealthy relationship with food.

 

00;42;49;19 – 00;43;08;13

Diana Rice

Yeah, this goes back to the modeling, the three M’s that, Danny was talking about. I tell my clients all the time, it’s okay to fake it till you make it. Yeah, right. You know, and that could be, well, one, not looking at yourself in the mirror and saying anything negative about your own body. Just, you can think of it up here.

 

00;43;08;13 – 00;43;23;09

Diana Rice

Just don’t say it. And then, you know, even things like, if you’re all having ice cream together, this is why we call it food positivity instead of, like, there’s this idea that, like, kids or adults should be like, yes, ice cream is available. I could eat it if I want to. I am neutral about ice cream. It’s like, no.

 

00;43;23;11 – 00;43;27;19

Dani Lebovitz

Like, hey, you know about ice cream? I never get to be honest.

 

00;43;27;22 – 00;43;32;16

Diana Rice

I want ice cream. What toppings do you want? Let’s get our spoons. You know, and it’s.

 

00;43;32;17 – 00;43;33;05

Dani Lebovitz

More like.

 

00;43;33;07 – 00;43;47;18

Diana Rice

That’s that positivity that we want. Parents to be able to bring in to how they’re raising their kids. And it is hard if you didn’t have a roadmap to do it. You know yourself in your own upbringing. That’s what we explore in the book.

 

00;43;47;21 – 00;43;49;16

Dani Lebovitz

But now you do have a roadmap.

 

00;43;49;17 – 00;43;52;26

Diana Rice

Exactly. Yeah. So, yeah.

 

00;43;52;29 – 00;44;03;03

Dr. Mona

Before you, before you get me your response, I love what you just said about the excitement. Like again, going back to my example of a husband who does not enjoy sugar, in our house, I.

 

00;44;03;03 – 00;44;04;22

Dani Lebovitz

Myself doesn’t like to eat it.

 

00;44;04;22 – 00;44;17;24

Dr. Mona

He gets guilty. He has this guilty mindset when he and I. And I’m trying to help him, but I’m like, he needs, you know, he’s a grown man. And like, he will he will eat Oreos at the hospital. He’s like, man, I eat a bunch of Oreos. I’m like, how did they taste? They’re probably delicious, like, bring me home some.

 

00;44;17;26 – 00;44;32;24

Dr. Mona

But like, for example, I’ll I’ll just bring hot chocolate home, right? Like the packaged hot chocolate, which has a good amount of sugar. Okay, let’s be honest. And when I talk about it, it’s like a whole thing, right? We make it together. I asked him if they want marshmallows. There’s no explanation. There’s no like this is a treat.

 

00;44;32;29 – 00;44;47;25

Dr. Mona

This is a special occasion. It’s that it’s a random Tuesday. And I wanted hot chocolate. And you all love hot chocolate. And I tell that to my son like, my son’s like, mommy, why are we having hot chocolate today? And I say, because it’s Tuesday. Because I know you like it. And I wanted to give you guys hot chocolate.

 

00;44;47;25 – 00;45;02;29

Dr. Mona

Not oh, because you got a good grade or that you listen, it’s it’s because we like it and it and that’s exactly what you said. Now, my son and daughter aren’t hyper fixated on the fact that they’re never getting sugar, like when they get it and they didn’t drink the whole thing. They had half.

 

00;45;02;29 – 00;45;03;15

Diana Rice

Cups.

 

00;45;03;18 – 00;45;11;24

Dr. Mona

Right? Because they get to do that. Yeah. And they’re like, I’m all done. I’m like, can I have the rest? And they’re like, yes, you’re right. I’m in the corner like chugging my yeah.

 

00;45;11;27 – 00;45;31;24

Diana Rice

And you can do that. You know, you can do that with whatever. Like, you know, whatever you’re making for family dinner or something. You know, one of my favorite phrases is, speaking positively about all foods actually creates food neutrality. So we do want the concept of food neutrality is is still valuable, that food has no moral value.

 

00;45;31;27 – 00;45;43;17

Diana Rice

But if we speak positively, we can’t be hyping up vegetables only and not hyping up desserts because that creates a hierarchy whether we’re trying to or not. So when we hype actually.

 

00;45;43;17 – 00;45;45;04

Dani Lebovitz

Invisible curriculum.

 

00;45;45;06 – 00;45;45;23

Diana Rice

Mean.

 

00;45;45;25 – 00;45;52;05

Dr. Mona

I love it, okay. And I don’t I want to hear from you, Dan. Danny, about what you would say to those parents. Yes.

 

00;45;52;12 – 00;46;17;03

Dani Lebovitz

So, what I would say, it’s it’s kind of based on two theories, of practice that are combined together, that I, and we actually have a workbook page that comes. It’s we have a QR code in the book that has an entire workbook and handouts and stuff. But we as parents think that we have to do things perfectly.

 

00;46;17;05 – 00;46;49;27

Dani Lebovitz

We have to get it right the first time, and that if we don’t get it right, then we’re failing or we’re going to hurt our kids, or I’m making a mistake. And, I know that, you know, as a parent, we’re terrified that we’re going to, you know, have this poor relationship with our child, and we’re ruining them now, so what I want what I would invite a parent to do is, to recognize and and call out something that maybe you used to do, or it’s a value you used to hold.

 

00;46;50;00 – 00;47;14;04

Dani Lebovitz

And when you learn something new, you call it out and acknowledge this. And this does two things. It, highlights something that could have been harmful, that you didn’t. You don’t know how it landed with your child. And it feels it shows repair and it invites this kind of conversation modeling for your child, how they can move forward and do something differently.

 

00;47;14;04 – 00;47;37;24

Dani Lebovitz

So, for me, it’s kind of like coming up with this little approach to a script that’s like, I learned something new today, and I want to do it differently with you. And so we have like this four step kind of you make your own in the book, but it’s this idea of repair and then bringing positivity and joy to it.

 

00;47;37;24 – 00;48;05;22

Dani Lebovitz

And one thing I would compare this to is like, if you took a test and you got this answer wrong, you’re going to focus a lot of energy on that answer that you got wrong. And you are never going to get that wrong again. Whereas everything else you might have gotten right, but you might forget it. And so by repairing and bringing in, highlighting this, not only models that I’m I’m a lifelong learner.

 

00;48;05;22 – 00;48;18;07

Dani Lebovitz

I’m learning and growing. I acknowledge maybe this hurt you, maybe it didn’t. But I want you to know this is what I’m trying to do. This is why, And I want you to be able to come and talk to me about it, and we can learn and grow together.

 

00;48;18;10 – 00;48;25;13

Dr. Mona

I love it, you guys. I cannot wait for people to get their hands or their ears. You all have an audio version of this book too.

 

00;48;25;15 – 00;48;26;01

Dani Lebovitz

Not yet.

 

00;48;26;01 – 00;48;28;24

Diana Rice

But if it does, what have to sell.

 

00;48;28;24 – 00;48;43;01

Dr. Mona

Well can you, get their hands in it. Yeah. We’re so excited. You know, you have to. Everyone listening. You’re going to get this book. Where can people go to stay connected and also get the book? And please leave that and so that I can put on my show notes.

 

00;48;43;03 – 00;48;52;24

Diana Rice

Yeah. You can find it on both of our social medias. We have links to, preorder the book. So mine is anti Diet Kids on Instagram and Denny’s is.

 

00;48;52;26 – 00;48;54;09

Dani Lebovitz

Kid Food Explorer is on.

 

00;48;54;09 – 00;49;12;00

Dr. Mona

Instagram. And I will be linking both of those socials and also a link to the book as well. I cannot wait for you all to read it. I am going to read it in its totality. I’ve read, obviously a lot of portions of it, as I decided to write the foreword, but I’m really excited for this book to end up out in the world.

 

00;49;12;02 – 00;49;14;04

Dr. Mona

Yes, and for everyone, your support.

 

00;49;14;04 – 00;49;16;28

Dani Lebovitz

Thank you for your time and love poured into that.

 

00;49;16;28 – 00;49;22;02

Diana Rice

So yes, we I think we already told you this, but we were like texting each other like in tears.

 

00;49;22;02 – 00;49;22;16

Dani Lebovitz

When you read.

 

00;49;22;16 – 00;49;26;10

Diana Rice

Your forward draft. It was so perfect. You were just most perfect person.

 

00;49;26;10 – 00;49;40;03

Dr. Mona

Well, it just, you know, it’s an honor. I mean, I wouldn’t have said yes if I didn’t really believe that this book was needed in this world. And it really is. And it really, like you said, it, it really encompasses the whole totality of a child, a child parent dyad. Right. Like that. You got to understand where you’re coming from.

 

00;49;40;03 – 00;49;55;13

Dr. Mona

What are we doing for the kid? I love that you talked about the kid in front of you, the, you know, the differences and types of kids. I mean, there’s just so much nuance to this conversation, and this book really has a lot of tips that can reach a lot of different types of families and kids. And I think that is rare.

 

00;49;55;17 – 00;50;01;18

Dr. Mona

Many times it’s so niche or like people feel left out and I feel like it’s a book for everyone. And so thank you.

 

00;50;01;24 – 00;50;05;10

Diana Rice

Thank you, Mona.

 

00;50;05;12 – 00;50;26;07

Dr. Mona

Thank you for being here for this chat. My biggest takeaway was this food positivity is not the same as food neutrality. Food neutrality removes judgment from food, which is wonderful, but food positivity adds connection, joy, confidence and trust to the experience of eating. It’s not just about what kids eat, it’s how they feel at the table and around food.

 

00;50;26;09 – 00;50;48;00

Dr. Mona

It’s the messages they absorb from us. It’s whether they learn to trust their bodies or fear food. And the good news is that it doesn’t require perfection. It requires awareness and small shifts. You must get this book. It’s available now. It will not only help you approach mealtimes better, it may heal a part of you that may have needed healing due to the unhealthy relationship with food that you may have.

 

00;50;48;03 – 00;51;06;20

Dr. Mona

If this episode resonated with you, make sure you subscribe to the show, download this episode and share it with someone who could use this conversation. And remember to tag PedsDocTalk and PedsDocTalkpodcast, Antidote Kids and Kids Food Explorer, so we can continue this conversation together. I’ll chat with you all next time with another amazing guest on the show.