In today’s episode I am talking to Lynda Cormier-Hanser, a business owner, speaker/trainer, author, non profit founder, wife and proud mother of 2. Of her many accomplishments, she is most proud of achieving work/life balance, and the quality of her relationships with her two adult daughters, husband, ex-husband, extended family and connection to her community. We will talk about:

• How to find purpose during chaos
• Misconceptions about positivity
• How to re-define grief

Stay connected with Lynda on Instagram, Facebook, LinkedIn or her website: lyndacormier.com

00;00;00;02 – 00;00;28;19

Lynda Cormier-Hanser

I heard a really brilliant psychologist that I follow, and she was saying that every single one of us is faced right now with kind of chronic trauma. And if we look at the last several years, as you mentioned, you know, we’re recording this in June, some of the things that just happened in the last month, the last few weeks, it just it’s chronic that we have this inundation of information that’s very tragic and very hard to hold space for in our being.

 

00;00;28;22 – 00;00;37;16

Lynda Cormier-Hanser

And this is not something that we’ve really been exposed to since, you know, decades ago, we didn’t have the internet and the instant access to information.

 

00;00;37;19 – 00;01;10;23

Dr. Mona

Hello, everyone. Welcome back to the PedsDocTalk, a podcast that keeps growing because of each and every one of you and your reviews. So thank you so much for tuning in and being here today. Today’s guest is Lynda Cormier. She is a speaker, personal development trainer, business owner, author, nonprofit founder, a wife and a mother. And we are talking about a very important topic, which is how to stay connected to purpose and joy during chaotic times, which I know we can all relate to.

 

00;01;10;25 – 00;01;13;29

Dr. Mona

Thank you so much, Lynda, for joining me today.

 

00;01;14;01 – 00;01;15;27

Lynda Cormier-Hanser

I’m so happy to be here.

 

00;01;16;00 – 00;01;38;11

Dr. Mona

So I am so excited about this topic. I think it’s so important. You know, we’re recording this actually in June, right after a lot of heavy things have been happening in the world, in our country, in the United States. And also people are dealing with personal issues, you know, that they’re going through. So I’m just so looking forward to this very, you know, motivating, uplifting, but just honest conversation about life and joy and chaos.

 

00;01;38;17 – 00;01;42;20

Dr. Mona

But before we start, you know, tell me more about yourself and what you do.

 

00;01;42;23 – 00;02;03;06

Lynda Cormier-Hanser

Well, thank you so much. I always say that my most important title is mom, and wife, but I have been so grateful to be able to have a very successful international wellness business with my husband for over a decade. And before that, and as I continue to do speaking and training, I work with a lot of women’s groups and a lot of teams.

 

00;02;03;08 – 00;02;25;05

Lynda Cormier-Hanser

And then most recently, during some of the chaotic times of the last couple of years, I just decided I needed to be part of the solution rather than the problem. And so we started a nonprofit, and it’s really about helping women specifically, but men as well, helping women find their voice, use their voice, and most importantly, trust their.

 

00;02;25;07 – 00;02;31;00

Lynda Cormier-Hanser

And so that’s the essence of the nonprofit. And it kind of goes along with what I’ve done my whole life.

 

00;02;31;02 – 00;02;53;29

Dr. Mona

And this is amazing. And what you’re doing obviously is so important in this topic. Like I mentioned earlier, is something that’s going to be extremely valuable. Just because again, like I think everyone goes through these ups and downs and sometimes we just don’t talk about it. But sometimes you’re like, how do I just continue to find that spark, that purpose, that that reason to just kind of keep going when just it seems like everything is kind of, in a way, crumbling?

 

00;02;54;12 – 00;03;06;16

Dr. Mona

And I know you can relate to that. So, you know, tell me, like, what you kind of when you talk to your, you know, your clients and just kind of motivate people and, you know, kind of reframe this. Where do you even begin to talk to them about this?

 

00;03;06;19 – 00;03;43;28

Lynda Cormier-Hanser

Well, I think where we begin is just honesty and recognizing that things can always coexist. So having to be really honest with ourself, I heard a really brilliant psychologist that I follow, and she was saying that every single one of us is faced right now with kind of chronic trauma. And if we look at the last several years, as you mentioned, you know, reporting this in June, some of the things that just happened in the last month or the last few weeks, it just it’s chronic that we have this inundation of information that’s very tragic and very hard to hold space for in our being.

 

00;03;44;01 – 00;04;05;01

Lynda Cormier-Hanser

And this is not something that we’ve really been exposed to since, you know, decades ago, we didn’t have the internet and the instant access to information. And so the first thing is being honest with ourselves that this is hard and that what we’re facing every day and the tragedies in the news and just the reality of what the world is, there’s a lot of heavy.

 

00;04;05;03 – 00;04;35;27

Lynda Cormier-Hanser

And then recognizing that we have a choice. And for me, that’s really one of the most important things is to recognize that we can choose joy and we can choose hope. But usually it’s possible to do that after we’ve been able to sit with some of the pain. And so it’s recognizing that things can coexist. Sitting with those feelings, sitting with the emotion, and then like ushering it away because we’re making an intentional choice for joy and purpose.

 

00;04;35;29 – 00;04;48;29

Dr. Mona

Yeah. And I feel like, you know, a lot of the sentiment around this, you know, like you said, we are recording this after our school shootings. So just kind of a disclaimer and, a kind of a warning if you will, if this is going to be too heavy. But we’re not going to talk about that in detail.

 

00;04;48;29 – 00;05;20;25

Dr. Mona

But just obviously it is very heavy for so many people. And one of the common sentiments, you know, as a mother that I’ve heard from other mothers and I felt myself, is this guilt and this guilt of, you know, that knowing that other mothers and fathers and grandparents, whatever, lost their child in such a tragic way in a horrific event, guilt and like going about your every day when other families don’t get to do that, you know, and I think it’s that that dichotomy of like, of course we continue our lives and you can be empathetic and understand, but it’s guilt.

 

00;05;20;26 – 00;05;27;20

Dr. Mona

So many people and you hear that. Have you heard a lot of that collective guilt when there’s the world just seems like a very sad place.

 

00;05;27;22 – 00;06;10;12

Lynda Cormier-Hanser

Yeah, I think there is that collective guilt, and it’s like survivor’s guilt, you know, like, yeah, when you look at things like that. But I think at the same time, it’s such a gift to be alive. And I think sometimes we take that for granted in general. And so sometimes it’s in the face of that tragedy and real misery that we have an opportunity to really make a difference in the world in ways that we may not think are that profound, but they really are like, you know, choosing to smile at a stranger, choosing to be embracing different cultures and to really focus on being the very best that we can be as individuals and

 

00;06;10;12 – 00;06;33;16

Lynda Cormier-Hanser

transcend some of what I believe is whether it’s systemic racism or the things in the world, like really transcend that and connect to love as much as possible. That all is a choice and that we choose. I think that we want to Revere the life that we have, really recognize it as a gift. And how do we do that every day?

 

00;06;33;16 – 00;06;54;19

Lynda Cormier-Hanser

How do we choose hope? How do we choose joy in the midst of all that chaos? And I think a big part of that is recognizing that we can make a difference. Yeah. Our part of this, I would say the most incredible team that we’ve ever been a part of is humanity. And the more we recognize that, the more we can create positive and ripple effects.

 

00;06;54;22 – 00;07;13;00

Dr. Mona

And I think people in that moment, like you said earlier, like in the moment when you’re going through chaos, right, whether you’re being handed personal chaos and then you add in all the things that are happening in the world, it feels like, again, like things are crumbling. And I agree, like, I feel like people just often feel trapped or they feel like, well, how do I get out of this?

 

00;07;13;00 – 00;07;33;24

Dr. Mona

Like when you’re in that moment, what do you tell those people that are like, well, how do I even find anything from this? Like, what am I supposed to do from here? I mean, this is obviously it depends on the circumstance and what’s going on, but how in your life have you gone through those episodes where you feel almost as if, wow, this is very heavy, but I am going to get through it to find that purpose and joy again.

 

00;07;33;26 – 00;07;55;17

Lynda Cormier-Hanser

Several years ago, I did a podcast on the ten greatest gifts that I had learned in that year, and for whatever reason that year, one of the things I learned is that everything is a process, and to have faith in that process. So even when you are in the hardest moment, even when you feel the depths of despair, which I did, I lost my mom this year and it was devastating.

 

00;07;55;20 – 00;08;15;00

Lynda Cormier-Hanser

And there was a good few weeks that I felt like I didn’t know if I was going to get my smile back. I didn’t know if I was going to feel alive again, but I just kept reminding myself this is a process and I have to have faith of what’s on the other side of this process. And so that again, it’s a choice.

 

00;08;15;02 – 00;08;28;27

Lynda Cormier-Hanser

And I hold on, you know, I encourage people hold on to those beliefs, even if they’re not, if, you know, if it’s not true that, you know, just because I’m saying everything is a process that doesn’t make it real. But we can cheer people that serve us.

 

00;08;29;00 – 00;08;49;29

Dr. Mona

And I resonate with this because I also have that same mindset that how we approach life is the choices that we say, how am I going to punish you? But also the story that we tell ourselves. Do you ever run into situations with clients or with people you know on your speaking or your personal coaching that just don’t understand that, that don’t understand that choice, that feel?

 

00;08;50;00 – 00;09;07;06

Dr. Mona

Because I’ve heard from people sometimes on my own, social media or, you know, but like, no, it’s not a choice. Like when we talk about things like, obviously severe things like depression and anxiety and I think there’s a nuance there. Obviously that’s chemical. That’s not a choice per se. But how do you talk to those people who say, no, it’s circumstances.

 

00;09;07;06 – 00;09;10;08

Dr. Mona

It’s not my choice. It’s my circumstance. Yes.

 

00;09;10;11 – 00;09;38;18

Lynda Cormier-Hanser

Yeah, yeah. So 100% difference in life. You as an individual are feeling sad. You know, you have not been diagnosed with a clinical depression or anxiety disorder or you know, you’re just not your normal self. Then the choice that you’re making is different. Because if you are somebody who struggles with general anxiety disorder or depression and you know that you struggle with that, how you treat that is also choice.

 

00;09;38;18 – 00;10;04;10

Lynda Cormier-Hanser

I mean, I have really, really good friends who wanted to like, deny the fact and were not wanting to choose a medication that could help them. And then when they did, their life turned around completely. Yeah. So choosing a treatment course if you have something that is like diagnosed is very different than somebody who has a different set of circumstance forces that it is.

 

00;10;04;13 – 00;10;11;08

Lynda Cormier-Hanser

Yeah, it’s just two different things, but both are choices in how you deal with it or how you treat it. Does that make sense?

 

00;10;11;10 – 00;10;28;27

Dr. Mona

Yes, and I love that you brought that up, because the choice in this situation, the choice is not saying that you get over like I think when people hear choice, they think that, well, no, like I don’t you’re not getting it that this is a real thing. No, of course it’s a real thing. But your choice here is getting the help, getting not dismissing it.

 

00;10;28;27 – 00;10;59;15

Dr. Mona

Right. That’s the choice that you’re making. Your choice is saying that this is a reality, and I need to get help. Whether it’s through therapy meds, whether it’s through personal coaching, whatever the help is going to come, however it’s going to come. But you are right that the choice is on you to get the help, and that’s what I hope that people understand on this episode is that, yeah, you are in control of how the outcome is going to be in terms of how you’re going to get there is to be determined, but you will get there with the right help and the right tools and that right mindset that’s going to help you get

 

00;10;59;15 – 00;11;00;21

Dr. Mona

that help when you need it.

 

00;11;00;23 – 00;11;21;24

Lynda Cormier-Hanser

I mean, and the way that I look at it and this again, I’m not a doctor, but the way that I look at it is I’ve worked with a lot of people who find themselves in a position where they think, for example, that they maybe have ADHD and or maybe they have anxiety that feels different than somebody who doesn’t have a diagnosable type of anxiety.

 

00;11;21;26 – 00;11;36;07

Lynda Cormier-Hanser

And there’s a process of, I don’t want to say denial, but once somebody comes to the realization of their particular individual unique being.

 

00;11;36;09 – 00;11;37;02

Dr. Mona

Yeah, that.

 

00;11;37;05 – 00;11;38;05

Lynda Cormier-Hanser

Those things can.

 

00;11;38;05 – 00;11;38;28

Dr. Mona

Really.

 

00;11;39;00 – 00;11;59;13

Lynda Cormier-Hanser

Work in their favor. One of my favorite people on the planet, finally, it took, you know, in his 50s to realize. But once he realized, oh, this is what also gives me the ability to focus. This is also what gives me the ability to do these things while it can also, you know, be hard to deal with sometimes.

 

00;11;59;13 – 00;12;10;11

Lynda Cormier-Hanser

Again, it comes back to just being really honest, honest with ourselves and then recognizing that we have choices in how we either treat or deal with whatever the situation is.

 

00;12;10;14 – 00;12;30;22

Dr. Mona

Yeah, the honesty, you know, helped me so much during some very, very traumatic times in my life in the last three years, you know, with birth trauma and pandemic parenting and other things, IVF and some other issues that people may not look at as trauma and grief. But we’re, you know, and I think so much of this is accepting and understanding that you don’t have to push it away.

 

00;12;30;22 – 00;12;47;22

Dr. Mona

You know, I think so many people feel they need to find the joy fast, like I need to find my purpose and joy quickly or but the grief looks so different. Like, you know, you lost your mom. And thank you for sharing that on this episode. But how you grieve with your mom and that process may look different than someone else, right?

 

00;12;47;22 – 00;13;03;11

Dr. Mona

But oh my. The goal is to grow around the grief. The ultimate goal is not to forget that that happened. I think people think that when you finally find joy and purpose, it means that what happened to you wasn’t important or what happened to you doesn’t matter. Of course, it’s going to be a part of your life forever.

 

00;13;03;14 – 00;13;21;29

Dr. Mona

You know, losing someone you love so dearly or losing some dream that you had or whatever it is that you define as grief. Oh man, it hurts and it’s never going to completely go away. But you can continue living a fulfilling life and purpose. And I think, do you do that with, I mean, this reality of your job, right.

 

00;13;21;29 – 00;13;30;12

Dr. Mona

Like creating a business that helps motivate others, does that do you ever find that you use your own grief and own experience with grief to help others correct.

 

00;13;30;17 – 00;13;53;24

Lynda Cormier-Hanser

What it was that, oh, ironic. I did a women’s retreat in January. It was the ninth through the 12th. One of my best friends suddenly lost her fiancé in August of last year. Young like, it was really traumatizing for everybody. He was like a brother. And then. So in January when I was doing the women’s retreat, I did a section on grief, specifically because helping her navigate what she had gone through.

 

00;13;53;24 – 00;14;14;00

Lynda Cormier-Hanser

And one of the things I talked about is that we can grieve a relationship, even if it didn’t work out. It grieving is associated with death. We can grieve what we anticipated that we thought a marriage was going to be. And it’s not that or our relationship with our children or whatever. We’re going to grieve the loss of things in our life.

 

00;14;14;02 – 00;14;34;11

Lynda Cormier-Hanser

And then part of what it was really crazy ironic that I did this whole thing on grief, and I had just written a blog about how I have not lost anybody during the pandemic and how grateful I was. And then less than two weeks later, my mom passed. So I had to step into all the things that I was trying to teach to everybody else.

 

00;14;34;13 – 00;14;53;12

Lynda Cormier-Hanser

But the thing that I found that has been very beautiful, and it speaks directly to our topic of staying connected to joy and purpose in the face of chaos is that there is a merging of the grief and the pain that is a reflection of our capacity to love, which is so gorgeous.

 

00;14;53;19 – 00;14;53;26

Dr. Mona

And.

 

00;14;54;02 – 00;15;30;19

Lynda Cormier-Hanser

Huge and infinite. But it’s the merging of that kind of gratitude for what we have had with the newness of stepping into life. And so it’s this merging of gratitude and grief. I shared that with you as we were just getting started, that that really enhances our whole being. And if we can connect that to the appreciation that we have for every breath we take, just being alive gives us, in my opinion, if we can stay connected to that appreciation for life and the glory, even to feel.

 

00;15;30;21 – 00;15;48;25

Dr. Mona

And grow, right? I mean, like I was watching like the celebrity, Chrissy Teigen. So she’s obviously I think you know who she is. And she suffered an instant loss, meaning she was far along in her pregnancy. So she had a late miscarriage. And I saw her share the pictures, and she was very vulnerable and sharing all these things.

 

00;15;48;25 – 00;16;07;23

Dr. Mona

And people judge people for what they share, right? You they judge. If you don’t share, they judge if you share. I mean, I can’t imagine being a celebrity and what they you know, what they have to deal with. But what I got from her and I want to bring this up because I thought it was very beautiful, is that when I saw that picture, you know, I haven’t suffered a miscarriage, but I suffered grief in the sense of, like I said, a traumatic birth.

 

00;16;07;23 – 00;16;33;04

Dr. Mona

That was very, very traumatizing. I mean, it was exactly what we’re talking about. I had to find my purpose again, and Joy and I found it, and a lot of it was helping others and also just finding the small things in life that make me want to wake up every day, like, really helped. But when I saw what she was going through, you know, I saw her grieving and I told my husband I was like, God, I’m so sad for her, but I can’t wait to see the person she’s going to become on the other side.

 

00;16;33;04 – 00;16;53;10

Dr. Mona

And I see that in a very uplifting, positive way. And I know people may be like, what do you mean? Like to know that someone’s going to grieve? I know that if they can process that grief and learn how to make something out of it, whether that’s growing her relationship with her partner or learning about something she didn’t know about herself before or advocacy or something.

 

00;16;53;17 – 00;17;11;19

Dr. Mona

I mean, when you can get to that stage where you can turn that grief into something beautiful and, oh, it’s so powerful and you broke on it, right? I don’t like the negative things that happened in my life. I don’t wish negativity on anybody. It’s the worst feeling to be in, to lose a loved one or to have, like I said, all these things.

 

00;17;11;19 – 00;17;38;24

Dr. Mona

But I also know that through the processing and if you can process it in a healthy way, you can learn something new or help someone else in the process. And then again, like I said multiple times, it doesn’t take away from the horrible thing that happened to you, because I think people like I felt like when I finally got through processing my trauma, I felt like in a weird way, I’m like, well, if I feel better, people are going to think that that wasn’t important.

 

00;17;38;27 – 00;17;59;19

Dr. Mona

Yeah, I almost have to be miserable. And I think that’s the culture that people feel. They have to be miserable. So people understand that they’re struggling. It’s this weird, like, I need to show you that I’m struggling, that you feel that I’m struggling. No, you people like me and you know that people struggle, right? We you don’t need to tell me and show me and live that life of woe is me, that everything is bad.

 

00;17;59;19 – 00;18;21;21

Dr. Mona

No, I know that you’re going to go through ups and downs. I know that you’re going to get through it. And it’s so important to remember that, that you can move through the grief and it can, that that event is still trauma. Like, don’t ever feel like that trauma wasn’t important in your life. Because I felt that. I felt like, well, now that I’m moving forward and moving around, my grief, people are going to say, well, oh yeah, it wasn’t that big of a deal.

 

00;18;21;21 – 00;18;36;17

Dr. Mona

No, this is a big deal. And it’s always going to be a big deal until my son is an adult and married. Like, I’m going to think about what happened, you know? And I’m going to get better at processing it. But it’s part of my life, as is losing the loved one, you know, like your mom and all of this.

 

00;18;36;17 – 00;18;43;00

Dr. Mona

But there is beauty in finding the power after the event, which is not going to happen in the event, obviously.

 

00;18;43;02 – 00;19;07;09

Lynda Cormier-Hanser

Yeah. And I just two quick things that come to mind when you’re saying, is that what people may think as you move on. Right. All give way too much power to what other people think. I mean, and they’re usually really concerned about their own. You be judging us. But I also think that it’s how we honor the love that we had that is reflected in that grief is by living, it’s by overcoming.

 

00;19;07;09 – 00;19;32;16

Lynda Cormier-Hanser

That’s how we honor the people that aren’t here with us anymore, or that even the dreams that we may have lost or the like you said, the birth trauma, the way that we honor, the depth of the emotion that’s connected to those experiences, is by choosing light and joy and hope and the positive things, because there’s going to be enough negative things in the world.

 

00;19;32;19 – 00;19;34;05

Dr. Mona

We might we yeah.

 

00;19;34;07 – 00;19;52;03

Lynda Cormier-Hanser

We can be, you know, beacons on the other side really holding on. And I think that so much of that comes from recognizing that we just have beautiful, incredible natural gifts that the world really needs. And we can’t express those gifts if we are confined by our grief.

 

00;19;52;06 – 00;20;10;11

Dr. Mona

Yeah. Oh, this is such a great episode. I just I love talking about this. I actually recorded an episode for anyone who has not listened to it. Episode 120 about very similar. But when life hands you lemons and you’re just tired of making lemonade like all that, when things are just feeling like they’re crumbling, and this whole topic of like, everything happens for a reason.

 

00;20;10;11 – 00;20;27;06

Dr. Mona

And how some people feel that that can be very demeaning. When I like to rephrase that, that phrase a little bit, I don’t think I do believe that there can be purpose in trauma, but I don’t think that that means that the trauma should have happened, if that makes sense. Like nothing, it doesn’t mean that you should have lost someone or that event was meant to happen.

 

00;20;27;06 – 00;20;31;25

Dr. Mona

That’s not what I think that phrase means. How do you feel about the term? Everything happens for a reason?

 

00;20;31;27 – 00;20;59;03

Lynda Cormier-Hanser

Well, I don’t use that phrase, but I do believe and it’s not as categoric like everything. But I feel like most things. Let’s do that. Most yes, things happen for our good and benefit because we will learn from it, because we will grow from it. And yes, most things now there are some things when we look at the tragedy that just happened and yes, it’s like there’s no way that you can say, oh, this is happening for my good and benefit.

 

00;20;59;03 – 00;21;19;13

Lynda Cormier-Hanser

That’s not that’s correct. But most things happen for our good and benefit. In my opinion. So if, for example, you’re stuck in a traffic jam, which is frustrating and stressful and you’re going to be late somewhere, but you’re stuck, in my opinion, that’s happening for my good and benefit. Because if I wasn’t stuck, maybe I would be the one in the accident.

 

00;21;19;15 – 00;21;42;00

Lynda Cormier-Hanser

Correct? That perspective has really, really helped me. Again, it’s one of those things I choose to believe that everything, not everything, most things happen for my good and benefit. So even like, yeah, difficult things. You know, if I put that perspective on and I look for the lesson, then it doesn’t always reveal itself immediately. But it will.

 

00;21;42;02 – 00;21;42;13

Dr. Mona

Right.

 

00;21;42;19 – 00;22;02;13

Lynda Cormier-Hanser

And so I think again, that comes back to having faith in the process. But I don’t say it in a glib way. I’m not saying it’s easy just to choose joy and to choose hope and to choose purpose. I’m saying sit with the emotions that we have and recognizing things can coexist. You can be in pain and allow yourself joy.

 

00;22;02;15 – 00;22;16;28

Lynda Cormier-Hanser

You can be grieving and allow yourself the hope because it really is something that’s going to ignite the gifts inside of us that we then can make a difference for somebody else, even with a smile.

 

00;22;17;01 – 00;22;32;29

Dr. Mona

You know? Yeah, yeah. No, I agree completely with that. You know, everything happens for a reason. Because in using the examples of the tragedy in Uvalde, I mean, that obviously is not like that, but and then telling someone that is obviously the most hurtful thing, like, I hope every single one of those family members, no one said that.

 

00;22;32;29 – 00;22;52;16

Dr. Mona

And I know, yeah, in faith leaning communities and you know, spiritual communities, that can be something that gets said, you know, like the Lord meant for this to happen. And I grew up with a very faithful leaning mom, who has said that to me when my son was we were both in the ICU. But when you think about traumatic events, it’s not at all helpful at all in the moment.

 

00;22;52;19 – 00;23;03;22

Dr. Mona

And, absolutely not that everything was forced out because then it makes it feel like, well, what, like this is awful. Like, what do you mean? This is supposed to happen? Like. Yeah. Oh, this is how I think it’s just.

 

00;23;03;24 – 00;23;23;04

Lynda Cormier-Hanser

You know, in general, it’s not a good idea to use everything or always or never, like. Yeah, it’s just that there isn’t anything that’s like that. And so I think it’s important to recognize most things and those most things when we can put that perspective on it really helps us and it helps those around us in the process.

 

00;23;23;06 – 00;23;38;24

Lynda Cormier-Hanser

If we can just shift our perspective a little bit and recognize that maybe there is something good on the other side of that fear, or that frustration or that moment or that experience of it’s hard. I think that, you know, these really traumatic things fall outside of that concept.

 

00;23;38;29 – 00;24;08;29

Dr. Mona

Right? Oh, Lynda, this is such a great conversation. You know, I love talking about this sort of how we approach difficulty, but at the same time, look forward to positivity and all that. And I think that’s really hard for many people. You know, and I think, I hope this really did resonate for so many of you listening, because it is, like she said, that dichotomy that truly does exist where can everyone find you in terms of, you know, like website or resources, how to connect with you if they want to, you know, speak with your learn more about you.

 

00;24;09;01 – 00;24;28;09

Lynda Cormier-Hanser

Really just I’m not overly active, but the easiest way is Instagram or Facebook. It’s just my name, Lynda Cormier, and I spell it with a Y and share. It’ll be written somewhere. But yeah, I always reply when people direct message me with the question or, you know, whatever, I always reply. So those are probably the easiest two ways to get in touch with me.

 

00;24;28;09 – 00;24;53;20

Lynda Cormier-Hanser

And then I do have my website, which is my name as well, and I have not been very consistent with blogs, especially in the last year. I didn’t go into some other trauma that we’ve all experienced, but I haven’t been a very prolific writer in the last year, but hopefully I will be doing a little bit more of that as we officially launch the nonprofit this year, so they can always sign up for our newsletter in my on my website as well.

 

00;24;53;22 – 00;25;14;11

Dr. Mona

Awesome. And I will be linking the website for sure. And then the other thing I like to do at the end of each episode, because I know we obviously touched on amazing things, but you know, you are a parent. I would love to hear a parenting high in a parenting low, and especially since we’re on the topic of like, you know, learning from things and but below like what that kind of taught you as well.

 

00;25;14;13 – 00;25;32;08

Lynda Cormier-Hanser

So the high one of the first things that comes to mind that’s really amazing was both of my children, while they were in their young teens, were able to participate in some of my team building and personal development events that I did, and they got a chance to see their mom in a little bit of a different light.

 

00;25;32;08 – 00;25;52;15

Lynda Cormier-Hanser

And I then went on to do those events for their college and they’re both college athletes, and many times over my kids have been to my event, and that was really a high for them to get a glimpse into the kind of professional world that feels really similar to how they were raised, everything they learned when they’re, you know, being raised.

 

00;25;52;15 – 00;26;07;08

Lynda Cormier-Hanser

But that was probably one of the biggest ties from a parenting perspective, is to have them attend those events and want to be there and choose to be there more often than I would have ever expected.

 

00;26;07;10 – 00;26;12;20

Dr. Mona

But, I love that. And what about the, I guess low, if you will?

 

00;26;12;23 – 00;26;52;20

Lynda Cormier-Hanser

Well, the low first thing that comes to mind is actually very recent. My children are mixed. And so during the really difficult time of the George Floyd and Black Lives Matter and the marches and all of the things that were happening, I had no idea the experience of racism that they had experienced. And that was really a low that I could have been so unaware that, you know, my ex-husband, their dad, who was one of my closest friends, we were mixed family, married for 20 years and never talked about race because we just we didn’t.

 

00;26;52;20 – 00;27;11;03

Lynda Cormier-Hanser

And I’ve come to find out that that is a common mixed families and biracial children. This is not talked about. And so that was really a low to find out what they experienced and to have been very unaware and not be able to be there for them while it was happening.

 

00;27;11;05 – 00;27;29;29

Dr. Mona

Oh, I’m sure that was so hard. And it’s you know, I like when families or my guests can share this, just because it gives that sort of that big picture that, you know, again, that parenting is full of some really awesome joys and some really very difficult, you know, conversations and events. So I really appreciate you sharing that with us today.

 

00;27;30;01 – 00;27;55;12

Lynda Cormier-Hanser

Absolutely. And, you know, even in those hardest of times, we’ve grown even closer. I mean, I thought my kids were my best friends, and now they’re 27 and 24, almost 25 and 28 and I wouldn’t have it any other way. I wouldn’t change anything, because where we are now and what we’ve gone through to bring us even closer, when I would have thought we were as close as possible.

 

00;27;55;12 – 00;27;56;07

Lynda Cormier-Hanser

So.

 

00;27;56;09 – 00;28;21;15

Dr. Mona

Oh, I love this and thank you so much for sharing that aspect of your life and your parenting, and obviously everything that you’ve shared today and for everyone listening, make sure if you found this episode helpful that you share it on social media, you know, tag us, definitely write a review or leave a rating. And I’m going to be having Lynda back on the podcast again, because there’s so many things that, she and I both want to talk to you all about.

 

00;28;21;15 – 00;28;23;17

Dr. Mona

So, Lynda, thank you again for joining me.

 

00;28;23;24 – 00;28;26;06

Lynda Cormier-Hanser

Thank you so much. I look forward to chatting again.

 

00;28;26;13 – 00;28;42;03

Dr. Mona

Thank you for tuning in for this week’s episode. As always, please leave a review. Share this episode with a friend. Share it on your social media. Make sure to follow me at PedsDocTalk on Instagram and subscribe to my YouTube channel, PedsDocTalk TV. We’ll talk to you soon.