With Election Day approaching, Dr. Mona revisits a conversation with Sharon McMahon, known as “America’s Government Teacher”. They unpack the difference between normal political disagreement and moral boundaries lines, how to navigate division within families and how to hold firm to a boundary without abandoning our belief in human dignity.

They discuss:

– How to vote to prevent harm

– The difference between budgets and dehumanization

– The loss of political decorum

– How to protect your mental health when they are toxic family dynamics

– The understanding that opposing viewpoints are not necessarily malice

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00;00;00;01 – 00;00;24;13

Dr. Mona

Welcome back to the follow up. It’s Doctor Mona, and this is a series on the start up podcast, where we revisit a past episode in less time than it takes you to get through an uncomfortable political conversation at Thanksgiving dinner. And with Election Day right around the corner in the United States, I wanted to revisit this conversation because I think it’s one we really need to be having continuously.

00;00;24;15 – 00;00;42;18

Dr. Mona

We’ve all heard the phrase we can agree to disagree, and I believe that to some extent we can disagree about budgets, taxes, and how our government should operate. But I also believe that agreeing to disagree has its limits, especially when we’re talking about human dignity, safety, and basic rights. And as a pediatrician and mom, I think about the world.

00;00;42;18 – 00;01;02;20

Dr. Mona

Our children are inheriting, their education, their health care, their safety. And I think about how the people we elect make decisions that affect all of those things. And something I want you to consider, especially as you head to the polls, is this. Of course, ask yourself, what am I voting for? Maybe who am I voting for? But also ask yourself, what am I voting to prevent?

00;01;02;22 – 00;01;29;08

Dr. Mona

Policies that weaken public education. Limit health care access. Undermine public health protections. Leaders who dismiss science and evidence when it’s inconvenient. And here’s another question I think we should all be asking ourselves. Just because a policy doesn’t directly affect you, does that mean it shouldn’t matter to you? For today’s follow up, I’m revisiting one of my most popular conversations with Sharon McMahon, also known as America’s government Teacher and author of The Small and the mighty.

00;01;29;10 – 00;01;51;20

Dr. Mona

We talk about where politics ends and morality begins. How disagreements over policy differ from dehumanizing entire groups of people, and what happens when political beliefs start creating real divides in our friendships and families? Because some of you are dealing with this right now. I know I am. You’re wondering whether you can maintain a relationship with someone whose values feel fundamentally different from yours.

00;01;51;22 – 00;02;11;29

Dr. Mona

Sharon shares how we can set boundaries to protect ourselves and our children, while also remembering that if we believe all human beings have inherent worth. That belief has to extend even to the people we strongly disagree with. And I think that’s a really important part of this conversation. We can stand firmly against harmful beliefs and behavior without losing sight of someone else’s humanity.

00;02;12;01 – 00;02;35;21

Dr. Mona

So whether you’re voting tomorrow already voted, or you’re listening from somewhere outside the US, I hope this conversation gets you thinking about the values you want reflected in your government. And if you have the power to vote, get out there and please share this episode. Send it to a friend posted in your Instagram Stories on Facebook. Groups were ever get this message out and go download the full conversation wherever you get your podcast.

00;02;35;27 – 00;02;51;19

Dr. Mona

And when you share, make sure to tag PedsDocTalk the PedsDocTalk podcast. And Sharon says so so we can see it and share it too. Let’s get into today’s very important follow up.

00;02;51;22 – 00;03;20;24

Dr. Mona

As a parent myself, I have two little ones, six and almost three. And I also have a large parenting community. I keep hearing people. Okay, well, it’s just politics. We can agree to disagree. But for many families, what we’re seeing right now and, you know, we’re recording this in 2026, it just feels personal and heavy. So a lot of that personalization and heaviness is coming from is this actually politics or is it just my value system being attacked and morality being attacked.

00;03;20;24 – 00;03;41;27

Dr. Mona

So is that line feeling more blurred to you lately, or do you feel like from your experience, being an educator and understanding politics, has that always been there in terms of that? You know, politics versus morality line? And how do you know when something has moved from let’s just agree to disagree into an actual moral question.

00;03;42;00 – 00;04;06;05

Sharon McMahon

Yeah, that it’s a great question and a great and a big conundrum that people have. I totally hear where you’re coming from. And, you know, politics is about, the, the use and study of power. And so some things really are just about negotiating variables. Yeah, some things really are, you know, right now, the school district my children attend, it has a $4 million budget shortfall.

00;04;06;07 – 00;04;34;15

Sharon McMahon

And so they’re going to have to negotiate amongst themselves amongst the elected school board. What is going to have to get cut? Where are we going? What are we trimming. Where can we not afford to trim. And that’s a great example of, you know, just the how politics plays out that we’re talking about negotiating, different monetary amounts, negotiating different policies that may impact the community.

00;04;34;18 – 00;05;09;08

Sharon McMahon

That is different than if a school superintendent. And this is not true of my superintendent. But if a school superintendent went on the news and said, these Somali children are ruining the school district, their parents are pirates and they are defrauding the American public and they need to get out. That is a very clear difference, between politics as usual, which is we have a set amount of money we have to serve this many children.

00;05;09;16 – 00;05;59;11

Sharon McMahon

How are we going to spend the money? And there are potentially multiple right answers that we actually need to have hard, hard conversations about. The second example that I gave with the bad superintendent, is actually dehumanizing an entire people group that is actually, a very different, endeavor than a simple negotiation of public policies. So, you know, I my personal values say, and I would imagine that most of your listeners, my personal values, say that human beings are, of infinite worth and that dehumanization has never led a nation somewhere worth going, that we have never demonized an immigrant group, and that has benefited us.

00;05;59;11 – 00;06;29;27

Sharon McMahon

We have never looked back with the clear eyes of hindsight and said, boy, I sure am glad that we incarcerated 100,000 Japanese-American in camps. That was the right move. We have never looked back and been happy with that choice. So to me, there is a line between normal everyday political policy negotiations. What is the right amount to spend on, white House ballroom?

00;06;30;00 – 00;06;56;14

Sharon McMahon

How should that amount? How should that get funded? Yeah. Who should approve those plans? Does the white House need a ballroom? Like, should we rip off the east wing of the white House to build a ballroom, though? That’s a different question than, everybody who is from a certain country is a bad person. Everyone who is from the certain part of the world is a criminal.

00;06;56;16 – 00;07;10;23

Sharon McMahon

Those are those are, in my mind, very different things. And it’s it’s easy for me to see the difference. But I understand because not everybody is immersed in this world, that these lines can seem very blurry in some people’s minds.

00;07;10;23 – 00;07;16;17

Dr. Mona

You’re right on that. It is that I do agree that there’s that differentiation and what I’ve seen since.

00;07;16;23 – 00;07;18;22

Dr. Mona

The first Trump presidency.

00;07;18;25 – 00;07;39;14

Dr. Mona

And that’s when I started seeing this. It’s also when I was online more it’s also when I became a mom I have seen compared to when I was growing up in the 90s, and I think about the John McCain era or the Bush era that, you know, I didn’t I may not my family may not have agreed with the policies of John McCain or the policies of George Bush, but there seemed to be respect in the politics.

00;07;39;14 – 00;08;02;25

Dr. Mona

Like I watched an interview, and I’m sure you know about that, where someone was calling, some names to Obama and John McCain defended him. Right. Because, okay. Yes, he’s a good man. He’s a good man. We may disagree, but he’s a good man. And I was like, you know what, John McCain? You’re a good man. Because even if I don’t agree with you, you’re a good person to stand up for someone, for the value system that you hold, that people have worth.

00;08;02;27 – 00;08;25;11

Dr. Mona

So what’s happening right now? And I and if you’re comfortable, if this has happened in your life, as I’ve just seen in my personal life, and also a lot of my listeners, if has felt like it’s come to a point where the boundaries are being set now, or maybe relationships are being separated, torn apart, whatever term you want to describe because of this, I would say more moral divide versus a political divide.

00;08;25;11 – 00;08;35;04

Dr. Mona

Do you hear that happening more? And do you think that that makes sense? Or is there a line that can be drawn that says, how can we agree to disagree in this friendship or relationship?

00;08;35;07 – 00;09;00;20

Sharon McMahon

Yeah, I that’s my absolutely hear that. Like, how can I, continue to remain in a relationship with somebody who doesn’t even, validate my existence as a human like you are? If you’re in the LGBTQ community, how do I stay in a relationship with my aunt who, thinks terrible things about me? It feels as though they’re very, existence.

00;09;00;26 – 00;09;25;07

Sharon McMahon

Their right to exist is under attack. So I, I absolutely hear that from people that like, how do I have Thanksgiving dinner? Yeah. How do I have Thanksgiving dinner with my family? Who thinks X and my moral values are so different that it doesn’t even seem like there is a way to bridge the divide? And I would say a couple of things.

00;09;25;13 – 00;09;47;15

Sharon McMahon

First of all, nobody should remain in an abusive relationship. That’s the first thing your physical safety. It needs to absolutely be top priority. If somebody is abusive to you, don’t stay in that relationship. Or as you know, a person who I admire, Nedra Taub, who is a therapist who talks a lot about boundaries. Sometimes it doesn’t mean necessarily cutting them off, although that’s sometimes an option.

00;09;47;15 – 00;10;07;24

Sharon McMahon

It can also mean, just like modifying how much time you’re around them and what kind of information you give them access to. Maybe it’s like, hey, Aunt Doreen, good to see you. Oh, yeah. I love your pies. Delicious. Maybe it’s just like a super surface, interaction two times a year. And that is. That feels comfortable for you.

00;10;07;26 – 00;10;25;08

Sharon McMahon

So there are ways to have boundaries or on your own personal mental health that you’re not subjecting yourself and your children to things that might ultimately be harmful to them. But I will also say that we have to keep in mind that.

00;10;25;10 – 00;10;58;09

Sharon McMahon

Whatever amount we feel our moral values align with this viewpoint that all humans have inherent worth, that nobody from some specific country is, you know, a bad human because that’s where their ancestors are from. As much as, as passionately as we feel that, we have to understand that other groups do not view the equation in the same way, they are not looking at the same information in and coming down on the other side of the equation.

00;10;58;11 – 00;11;26;03

Sharon McMahon

And that is a really difficult thing for some people to wrap their minds around. They are operating with a completely different set of information. And so the conclusion that they have arrived at makes complete sense in their mind. And I’m not saying that that excuses them. It’s not an excuse. It’s an explanation. They still do have access to.

00;11;26;03 – 00;11;52;04

Sharon McMahon

Like they could make themselves, you know, read more. They could seek out information that’s not in their little silo. But we do have to understand that some people’s sincerely held beliefs based on the best information that they know of leads them to a conclusion that they feel very sincerely about and that they truly do not believe is harmful to others.

00;11;52;06 – 00;12;17;08

Sharon McMahon

Now again, I’m not I’m not excusing it, but I think it’s easy. We have to be careful if you care about the inherent value of all humans. We have to be careful not to demonize people with whom we disagree, because then we are no better than they are. Right? If you care about your neighbor, you know who else is your neighbor.

00;12;17;09 – 00;12;47;15

Sharon McMahon

Your enemy is your neighbor. And that is like a really, it’s a bitter pill to swallow. It feels better to be like, screw you, I hate you. Yeah, go straight to hell, you know, throw in some other, sprinkle in some other choice words. It it feels better to say something like that in the moment. But ultimately, we have to ask ourselves if it’s really my value that all humans have inherent worth.

00;12;47;18 – 00;13;06;21

Sharon McMahon

Then that has to extend to people with whom I disagree. And that doesn’t mean allowing them to violate your boundaries. It doesn’t mean inviting them for sleepovers. Yeah, but we have to be mindful that we don’t become what we are opposed to.

00;13;06;23 – 00;13;28;03

Dr. Mona

And that’s your follow up. Just a small dose of the real, relatable and eye opening conversations we love to have here. If you smiled, nodded, or had an moment, go ahead and download, follow and share this episode with a friend. Let’s grow this village together for more everyday parenting wins and real talk. Hang out with us on Instagram at the PedsDocTalk podcast.

00;13;28;10 – 00;13;43;22

Dr. Mona

Want more? Dive into the full episode and more at PedsDocTalk.com. Because parenting is better with support. And remember, consistency is key. Humor is medicine and follow ups are everything. I’m Doctor Mona. See you next time for your next dose.