In honor of NICU awareness month, I share the stories of two moms who had babies in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit. Stay tuned in a few weeks to hear stories from two other moms who had premature babies in the NICU.

On this episode, we discuss:

• Things NICU moms may be unprepared for
• How the medical community can better support NICU parents
• What others may not realize about having a NICU experience or being a NICU mom
• How to advocate for yourself and your baby

00;00;08;18 – 00;00;33;14

Dr. Mona

Welcome to this episode. I am doing a mother’s message for NICU Awareness Month, where I’m interviewing mothers who have had their children in the NICU, talking to them about their Nikita experience, things that they didn’t know, things that they didn’t know. And I’m so excited to welcome Erin on to this episode, talking about full term babies in the Nikita, because sometimes the unexpected happens, and we often think that only pre-term babies are in the NICU.

 

00;00;33;14 – 00;00;37;19

Dr. Mona

But that’s quite not true. So welcome to the podcast, Erin.

 

00;00;37;21 – 00;00;41;00

Erin

Hi, doctor Mona, thanks for having me. I really appreciate it.

 

00;00;41;02 – 00;00;47;18

Dr. Mona

I’m so glad. Thank you for connecting. Tell me just a little bit more about yourself and a little bit about your story with your child.

 

00;00;47;20 – 00;01;10;27

Erin

Sure. So thanks again. I’m really happy to be able to share our story. As you alluded to, sometimes the unexpected happens and a full term baby with a fairly smooth pregnancy for us. Our son Sam was born at 40 weeks in a day. Everything seemed to be going great, and he eventually ended up in the nick.

 

00;01;10;27 – 00;01;45;11

Erin

Q our labor was about 6.5 hours, from start to finish. So, you know, not terribly too short, but not too long either. But our total time pushing was less than ten minutes, so fairly quick, amount of time in the birth canal for him, which seemed to be the reason or the suspected reason that he ended up with the diagnosis of what’s called transient tachypnea of the newborn, or TTN, so had no idea was a thing.

 

00;01;45;14 – 00;02;17;13

Erin

Was completely I, I don’t like to use blindsided, but kind of blindsided by the events that unfolded. Our labor and delivery went smooth. His Apgar scores were good. After delivery, he came with me to the postpartum unit. The rounding pediatrician, and came, looked at him, said he was doing great. He was feeding well, so we were able to kind of nap, cuddle, feed him, hang out for probably about six and seven hours.

 

00;02;17;16 – 00;02;37;21

Erin

And then the bedside nurse came in. They were going to get some of his labs done. And we started noticing, foaming at the mouth and an increased respiratory rate, with Sam and the nurse was, thank goodness she was there. First of all, I’m not sure we would have known exactly what to do. Or even knowing that it was abnormal to begin with.

 

00;02;37;24 – 00;03;06;26

Erin

Eventually, I’m sure we would have noticed and called somebody, but it was kind of slowly developing. Not something that was initially completely alarming to us since we had never experienced it with our older son. So it was kind of out of the blue for us. And he was eventually taken down to the nursery, monitored there, lots of phone calls back and forth to the pediatrician on call.

 

00;03;06;29 – 00;03;28;13

Erin

We were told he was only going to be in there for pretty short time. And, it kept getting extended. And it again, and eventually we were told that, they were going to have a few consults and then the NICU, nurse practitioner came and did a consult. He was released back to us for some skin to skin tone, which I’m so grateful for.

 

00;03;28;20 – 00;03;46;09

Erin

It was so nice to have that time. And he was eventually admitted to the NICU, because of his increased respiratory rate and respiratory distress. And they wanted to rule out, of course, infection. And anything else that could be going on with him.

 

00;03;46;11 – 00;04;08;17

Dr. Mona

Yeah. And it’s, you know, that unexpected is so hard, right? You said it perfectly like you had a healthy pregnancy. Everything seemed fine. And also baby was fine initially. And then, of course, he started noticing that foaming at the mouth. And you know, many times, you know, I do round in the newborn nursery, seeing the babies who are with their parents, that are quote unquote healthy and, you know, sometimes parents want to be discharged early, like they’re like, hey, I want to go home.

 

00;04;08;17 – 00;04;25;03

Dr. Mona

It’s been like 12 hours. And I say, you know what? No, we need to keep you. At least, you know, most hospitals, 36 hours. Sometimes we do finagle a 24 hour discharge, but it’s for these kind of things, right? There are things that we like to monitor. It doesn’t mean that this is going to happen, and it’s the common thing, but it is something I do see.

 

00;04;25;06 – 00;04;42;27

Dr. Mona

Term babies. TTN what Erin’s talking about is like she said, trans into me as a newborn, just retain fetal fluid. So, fluid in the lungs, it just is there and it causes difficulty breathing and it is well managed in an ICU setting. Tell me, how long was, your son in the ICU for?

 

00;04;43;00 – 00;05;04;02

Erin

So he was born at seven, 12 a.m.. All of this went on. He went to the nursery for a few hours, back and forth, some skin time. Thought maybe it would resolve. And then we had this, like, sudden issue admission, probably around somewhere between 6 to 8 p.m.. Can’t remember exact timing. I could look at the paperwork, but, don’t have it in front of me.

 

00;05;04;05 – 00;05;24;29

Erin

So he was there for about 48 hours total in the nick. Q but between 48 and 72 hours in the hospital. So, yeah, it’s a two day stay in the nick, which we’re so, so grateful for. But it was still a little bit scary. Did not expect it at all. And to be honest, I didn’t really know that that was a possibility of him ending up then.

 

00;05;24;29 – 00;05;38;28

Erin

NICU when this all started. So it was a little bit wild and we were trying to get out within 24 hours because you don’t have family nearby. My sister was in town. Thank goodness for watching our older son. But yeah.

 

00;05;39;00 – 00;05;52;03

Dr. Mona

Well, that’s exactly why I wanted to do this episode and to have you on. And then I’m hoping to have obviously another mother on as well, because every experience is so unique. And you said it perfectly like that. You were so grateful. That was only two days. But it’s still two days. I mean, it’s still the nick you.

 

00;05;52;03 – 00;06;10;24

Dr. Mona

I mean, there’s obviously going to be a lot of emotions and a lot of what is going on. What is this? Is he going to be okay? I mean, that’s all is going to happen. Whether your baby’s in the NICU for a couple days or, you know, a long period. So totally understand that. I mean, when Ryan was in the NICU, everyone’s like, oh, well, you know, people on social will be like, oh, well, we didn’t have it as bad.

 

00;06;10;24 – 00;06;26;24

Dr. Mona

I’m like, there’s no competition on like, who has it worse or anything like who’s in the NICU longer? It’s hey, it’s an experience. I mean, I can attest to that too. It was not the ideal experience that I think any parent would want. What are some things that you weren’t prepared for for being a NICU parent for those few days?

 

00;06;26;26 – 00;06;49;20

Erin

I think the biggest one for us was not completely understanding why our son was critical. Yeah, it sounds in hindsight maybe silly to say, but in the moment, there was a lot to process and very quickly, like we said, things were fine and he was doing well for the first, you know, 4 or 5 hours of his life here.

 

00;06;49;22 – 00;07;10;00

Erin

And then all of a sudden it was okay. He can’t eat, when you have a respiratory rate that high, they just can’t function. And maybe you can explain better how to be able to eat, when they’re breathing that fast. So it was like the biggest one for us. We just couldn’t process it fast enough to really understand this was all so smooth.

 

00;07;10;02 – 00;07;35;27

Erin

What’s going on? Right. And then for me as a mother, and I know I’m sure many NICU families have to kind of grieve this or experience this, but having to sleep separated. Yeah. And my new baby was probably the hardest thing for me. I had a pretty good recovery. So again, very grateful that I was well enough to go back and forth in the NICU

 

00;07;36;00 – 00;07;57;04

Erin

After a few hours, generally by myself, didn’t necessarily need to be transported. So grateful for that. But it is a lot when you’re trying to go and catch a quick nap, or pump or eat, because you do have to take care of your own healing as well. So for me, that was really hard hearing the crying babies on the postpartum unit and not having my son with me.

 

00;07;57;06 – 00;08;15;23

Erin

I will say two things that really helped with that were bringing his police blanket that we had brought to the hospital back and forth to the neck, and to postpartum. And we happened to have a portable sound machine with us. So that was super helpful. And kind of helped drown out the noise when I wanted to try a nap.

 

00;08;15;26 – 00;08;17;06

Erin

Yeah.

 

00;08;17;08 – 00;08;31;11

Dr. Mona

Oh, I felt the same way, Erin. I mean, the baby cries. Oh, man, it triggers it. I mean, when you can’t have your baby and you just want your baby to cry next to you, I mean, you don’t want them to cry over. Doesn’t make sense. But you’re like, I just want my baby to be near me, and I can take care of my baby.

 

00;08;31;13 – 00;08;38;12

Dr. Mona

That is spot on. And then the other thing that was really hard for me. I don’t know if your hospital had. That was the lullaby music. When a baby’s born.

 

00;08;38;15 – 00;08;39;23

Erin

Now there’s like a.

 

00;08;39;25 – 00;08;57;00

Dr. Mona

Yeah, there’s lullaby music. And for me, and maybe because my experience wasn’t joyful that what we went through, it’s like I didn’t get to see him for 12 hours. People are celebrating. You’re like, that’s great. But, like, I just want people to understand that. I’m like, really sad right now. Like, I’m just like, like it’s actually okay to be sad and that this lullaby music is not helping me right now.

 

00;08;57;02 – 00;09;12;00

Dr. Mona

But you’re right on about the baby cries. I don’t think people realize that. And there’s nothing that those people can do differently. It’s just a awareness of like, hey, this is really triggering for me right now. I got to figure out what I can do. I love your tip about the white noise machine. That’s awesome. Like, that is so helpful.

 

00;09;12;07 – 00;09;19;12

Dr. Mona

Because it really can just help, you know, you need to get that rest and kind of focus on what you need to do to get back to baby and then obviously get out of the hospital.

 

00;09;19;14 – 00;09;43;20

Erin

Yeah, completely. And I absolutely would have been triggered even with a joyous delivery. So I truly cannot imagine that feeling that you had. But I do know it’s definitely something sensitive and had previously worked, you know, in and around medical centers that that did that in the labor and delivery and postpartum units. And it is something that seems pretty benign, but could definitely be triggering.

 

00;09;43;25 – 00;09;45;15

Erin

I totally see that.

 

00;09;45;17 – 00;09;58;28

Dr. Mona

When you left to go home, was there any time that you thought back to the time in the NICU, like in terms of, like things that would happen at home, breathing issues, like anything that would trigger some of the events that would happen back in the hospital.

 

00;09;59;01 – 00;10;26;18

Erin

Yes. Yeah. In fact, pretty recently, older brother is still in daycare. And we’re grateful for daycare, but he, brings home lots of viruses, and this summer is something special. There’s lots circulating as. Yeah, you’ve mentioned and lots of kind of scarier viruses. So older brother was sick and then do the best you can to keep them separated.

 

00;10;26;21 – 00;10;54;05

Erin

But that’s not always possible. And so Sam ended up getting sick, and I started noticing some of those retractions just a couple of weeks ago with him, and was very grateful our pediatrician could get us in, and she was able to administer a steroid for him pretty quickly within a couple hours, when we noticed that he seemed to respond well to it and we didn’t end up in the air like we thought we were going to, but it was scary.

 

00;10;54;05 – 00;10;59;15

Erin

It was triggering. And, I could feel the anxiety peaking for sure.

 

00;10;59;17 – 00;11;18;15

Dr. Mona

Oh yeah. There is an absolute medical anxiety that is created for all parents. But I think when you have an experience in the NICU and you’ve seen your child on any oxygen support, intubation, IVs, anything that’s been aiding your child in those early months, right? So when you go home, things are good. Your baby is recovered, quote unquote, like things are great.

 

00;11;18;17 – 00;11;43;25

Dr. Mona

Those illnesses and things are truly going to trigger you. And I think, again, this point of this episode is just to understand that that’s common. That doesn’t mean that it’s bad. It’s just understanding that, hey, you want to be careful. We had to happen for Ryan when he got his first fever and first illness. He had croup, but his NICU wasn’t related to respiratory stuff, but oh my gosh, like, I literally got visual flashbacks when I would walk into his room of, like, him being hooked up to the monitors, like I would take myself back there.

 

00;11;43;25 – 00;12;05;17

Dr. Mona

And I was like, I don’t want to take myself back there because it wasn’t the most great of times, but it’s so important that we kind of recognize that and, you know, whenever a parent goes through an experience, whether it’s a short period or a long period, those triggers are so important to recognize, and it can be in the most surprising of ways, you know, and I think when I say recognize it, just recognize it that it’s not anything bad and just realize, okay, well, how am I going to move through this?

 

00;12;05;20 – 00;12;14;02

Dr. Mona

Was there anything that helped you in terms of when that happened? Like, I know you said you went to your child’s clinician, but is there anything else that kind of gave you a little bit more peace of mind in those moments?

 

00;12;14;09 – 00;12;37;05

Erin

So, exactly. Knowing what to look out for now. Yeah, I feel like I am more prepared if he were to contract something again and sent him into respiratory distress. I know what to look out for. I would have never known that with my older son. So in some weird twist, I’m grateful for that experience because we had a good outcome for him.

 

00;12;37;08 – 00;12;59;20

Erin

Yeah. And I don’t mean that to sound insensitive, but I love our pediatrician’s office. And I think you guys would be great friends. But, yeah, she, you know, I call them and I consult with them, right. I trust them exclusively. And having, you know, the peace of mind to say, hey, he’s borderline here. Let’s get him in.

 

00;12;59;20 – 00;13;18;00

Erin

Because he was just a little over two months when that happened. Said, let’s get him in. Let’s double, triple check. Because I don’t want you to have to, you know, think that you didn’t do the right thing. And so they always kind of, you know, back me up there and to me, it’s really important to have that relationship with your children’s pediatrician.

 

00;13;18;00 – 00;13;25;25

Dr. Mona

Absolutely. The medical community support is so important. Did you feel communication and support was good in the nick, like with the Nick doctors and nurses?

 

00;13;25;28 – 00;13;55;15

Erin

Absolutely. They’re something special. Our Nick clinical team was just amazing. There’s not much else I can say other than that. I felt like they were very clear. Yeah. In explaining Sam’s status, you know what we had ahead for him? What he needed to complete before they could discharge him? We’re always open to my questions, and it’s busy in the ICU.

 

00;13;55;17 – 00;14;03;19

Erin

But they explain things very well, and I felt like they were the best advocates for our family. And that was really comforting.

 

00;14;03;21 – 00;14;21;17

Dr. Mona

I’ve always had a very special place in my heart for NICU staff. I mean, even through residency, I mean, the work that they do, to be able to communicate with parents when the acuity is so high for such early in a child’s life. I mean, obviously these are all newborns, full term preterm. It doesn’t matter. I mean, it is such a hard job.

 

00;14;21;22 – 00;14;41;28

Dr. Mona

And I loved being a part of the Nicky rotations in residency. I didn’t love being a new parent, but I obviously so appreciate what they do. And I will always say that if you ever find yourself in the NICU, I assure you that you’re going to be supported by an amazing team of the best nurses and the best doctors, because Nick, nurses are also, I think, the cream of the crop.

 

00;14;42;04 – 00;14;59;01

Dr. Mona

Any ICU nurse I think is phenomenal, any nurse. But I mean, they really know how to, you know, talk to you, support you. And that’s just so great. I’m so happy that you felt supported. What do you think? In general, people don’t realize about the nick you experience, you know, were there any assumptions from family members or anything?

 

00;14;59;03 – 00;15;01;09

Dr. Mona

Anything additional that you’d want to add?

 

00;15;01;11 – 00;15;23;27

Erin

Yeah. I think something people may not realize about the nick you experience or being a new mom is really the constant need to advocate and coordinate care for not only yourself as a new mother, but for your child who, like you said, it’s in a high acuity setting. It is completely overwhelming for me. It is not something that I expected to have to do.

 

00;15;23;29 – 00;15;41;09

Erin

I do feel like I always had to be in two places at once. You know, either, postpartum, trying to explain what was going on, or down in the NICU, trying to figure out, you know, what was next, or what was even happening. It’s just a lot. Right? Between myself and my husband, it just seemed like a lot.

 

00;15;41;09 – 00;15;58;25

Erin

And I think he felt like his heart was in two places. Two. And really a third with our son at home. Yeah, that was really hard for me. I felt like I always needed to be in the nick. You or, you know, there were times where I knew I needed to go back to my room to sleep or take care of myself in other ways.

 

00;15;58;25 – 00;16;15;19

Erin

It just the tugging, the constant tugging of feeling like you needed to be in two places, was really something I didn’t expect. And I don’t think a lot of people realize that that coordination may not be so concerted, you know, in some places.

 

00;16;15;21 – 00;16;29;00

Dr. Mona

Absolutely. And you were talking about advocacy. Did you find that you had to advocate in the nick for your son? And how did you do that? Or do you have any like, suggestions on what worked for you or what you wish you would have done differently? Or did everything kind of go okay?

 

00;16;29;03 – 00;16;51;02

Erin

I didn’t feel quite like I had to advocate so much for my son. In the nick, you. I felt like I was maybe advocating knowing that I may get discharged before him. I felt like I was always advocating for just a little more time. Yeah. And understanding. There are limitations to our health systems, in the United States that it’s not quite as simple.

 

00;16;51;02 – 00;17;14;15

Erin

Of course, Covid restrictions. We happen to be kind of in that sweet spot. And mid-May where things were looking really optimistic. So I think maybe, you know, we had some things offered to us that other families maybe a few months earlier weren’t. But I did feel like it was going to be hard if he had to stay long, much longer than I did.

 

00;17;14;17 – 00;17;35;24

Erin

And they were originally looking at that right, that he was going to stay at least a day longer, if not more than me. But I do felt like our Nick staff really, really did try and advocate for us. You know, once I ask the right questions and knew what to ask. So it felt like I was advocating for me more than my son.

 

00;17;35;26 – 00;17;38;16

Erin

Yeah. And that was hard.

 

00;17;38;18 – 00;17;54;04

Dr. Mona

Yeah. And that’s exactly how it felt like for me. Like I felt like the NICU was on kind of good autopilot. There were some instances where I did kind of ask them because I have medical expertise and I’m like, does he really need this? Like, you know, he was there for, other reasons. But yeah, there was some things that I had to talk to him about.

 

00;17;54;04 – 00;18;16;08

Dr. Mona

But it really is, like you said, it’s like advocating for me and getting down to the NICU. And, you know, I need to make sure I get to touch time. Touch time, meaning, you know, like being able to interact with baby at certain times when the nursing, schedule is kind of going is such that advocacy piece. I think we forget that when we become moms, we tend to think of so much of our children and the advocacy we have to do for them, but we forget to advocate for ourselves as moms.

 

00;18;16;14 – 00;18;30;22

Dr. Mona

And that starts from the moment you have a baby, whether it’s in the Nicky or the newborn nursery. I mean the things that you feel like you may need, the emotional, physical support. I mean, it all comes down to that. And then Nicky does add a different layer of, whoa, what do I need to do here? You know?

 

00;18;30;25 – 00;18;50;03

Erin

Yeah. And one thing I didn’t mention was I knew I wanted to try to breastfeed my son, since it was going well before all of this presented. And I knew I wanted to try and continue, I don’t think my voice would have been as loud with my first, I’m grateful. Like, in some weird twist of fate, right?

 

00;18;50;03 – 00;19;07;18

Erin

That this happened with my second, that I was able to use my voice and I knew who to reach out to. I had kind of been through that and knew that I needed a lactation consult. I knew I needed that, I knew I needed to make sure that I expressed that to Nicky, that I wanted to try and get him to the breast when I could.

 

00;19;07;18 – 00;19;27;27

Erin

And when he was ready. They knew that, and they were very supportive, and it made me feel taken care of, just like you said. It kind of felt like for me, I was the whole time trying to advocate, to just be able to stay a little bit longer. Is there a way I could stay until at least midnight if he were to get discharged the next morning?

 

00;19;27;29 – 00;19;30;22

Erin

Kind of have a home base, if you will.

 

00;19;30;25 – 00;19;48;25

Dr. Mona

Oh, totally. It’s so nice connecting because it’s literally the same. Even though it’s a different situation. You’re in a different place. The same exact conversation that I was having like, hey, can I, like, extend this? Like, what are my options? What can you guys say? Totally. I know there are situations where there actually are where the mother has to leave before their child.

 

00;19;48;28 – 00;20;03;02

Dr. Mona

For us, I was coming close to that, but we were able to stay together, and I. I’m not happy that I had to stay because I ended up having complications. But it’s like, you definitely like, want that. There’s just that it gives you some security and stability in an otherwise time where you’re like, not sure what’s going on, you know.

 

00;20;03;04 – 00;20;05;02

Erin

100%.

 

00;20;05;04 – 00;20;15;09

Dr. Mona

Any other final message you would have for people who may be experiencing the nick you experience, or maybe someone who’s listening, who will never experience. What would you want to say to everyone?

 

00;20;15;12 – 00;20;39;20

Erin

I’d say that this is really true in all aspects of your care or your children’s care. And just empower yourself to ask questions. Ask, ask and ask until everything makes sense to you. It is so empowering knowing and understanding, right? The status of your child’s care or your care and the care plan for yourself and child.

 

00;20;39;20 – 00;21;04;12

Erin

Like right? What do you have to accomplish? What needs to be done in order for your discharge to happen or for baby’s discharge to happen? For us, that was one thing that helped us get in sync. Discharge for us. We knew his last round of antibiotics was going to be sometime in the evening, and they wanted to discharge him the next morning, but they were willing to just discharge him in the evening.

 

00;21;04;15 – 00;21;24;08

Erin

And I don’t know if that would have happened if I didn’t feel empowered to ask. And I credit that to a lot of maybe the health care providers in our family. And having worked in a clinical setting for so long that I wasn’t afraid to ask those questions, it’s intimidating being in the nick. You. It’s intimidating and tiring when you’re healing yourself.

 

00;21;24;08 – 00;21;30;22

Erin

But ask, ask until it makes sense. That would be the one message that I would want to deliver to Nick you parents.

 

00;21;30;24 – 00;21;44;00

Dr. Mona

I love how you said that. Ask until it makes sense. And it has to do with also how you consume information like you said. Like if it doesn’t make sense to you, maybe it’s right, but it’s just not being communicated in the right way to you. And that’s not anyone’s fault. That’s we need to know what the best way.

 

00;21;44;00 – 00;22;01;11

Dr. Mona

And I just love that advice. Oh, this is so awesome. I am so grateful that we could talk about so many of the things that you went through and the experience, I know this is, again, just going to help so many people if they find themselves in similar situations, or maybe just to create some empathy if they have a friend going through, similar things.

 

00;22;01;11 – 00;22;03;19

Dr. Mona

So thank you again for joining me today.

 

00;22;03;21 – 00;22;09;15

Erin

Oh, thanks, doctor, and I really appreciate it and look forward to hearing everyone else’s stories.

 

00;22;09;18 – 00;22;26;20

Dr. Mona

Now I have Sara, who is a mother of a term baby who was in the NICU, and we’re going to talk about her experience with her baby. Remember, every one of these experiences is so unique, and even all the episodes I’ve put together for an acute awareness month, you’re never really going to get every experience that exists out there.

 

00;22;26;20 – 00;22;35;08

Dr. Mona

So I wanted to have a couple moms on the episode to talk about their experience having a full term baby in the NICU. Sarah, thank you so much for being here today.

 

00;22;35;11 – 00;22;37;15

Sarah

You’re welcome. Thank you for having me. It’s so cool.

 

00;22;37;22 – 00;23;03;05

Dr. Mona

Well, no, I’m so happy. You know, I put out a request for my Instagram followers because I really wanted to have mothers come on or fathers. But obviously I have a lot of women followers, talk about their experiences because I really feel like by sharing our experiences, we can help others who may be going through something similar, or even if you’re not going through something similar, how we can connect with people and just understand what we go through as moms and how different our experiences are.

 

00;23;03;05 – 00;23;14;09

Dr. Mona

But at the end of the day, we’re all moms and we all want the same thing for our children to have them be happy, healthy, and thrive on their own accord. So this is what the purpose of these mothers message episodes. So thank you again.

 

00;23;14;12 – 00;23;30;00

Sarah

Absolutely. Thank you for having me. I mean, your story is what kind of kept me going in the early days. So I wanted to kind of pay it forward and as you know, being a mom can be a little bit lonely and isolating. So to hear someone else’s story, and your son’s story was very similar to mine.

 

00;23;30;00 – 00;23;34;04

Sarah

It kind of gave me hope that, like, my daughter could be okay. No thank you.

 

00;23;34;10 – 00;23;41;04

Dr. Mona

No thank you. That means so much. And I again, just tell me, you know, for everyone listening, tell me a little bit about your story and your daughter’s story.

 

00;23;41;06 – 00;23;50;18

Sarah

Sure. So, as you said, my name is Sarah. I’m 33, from new Jersey, and my daughter Aubrey is actually turning one tomorrow. So big day.

 

00;23;50;19 – 00;23;52;00

Dr. Mona

Oh. Happy birthday.

 

00;23;52;00 – 00;24;08;26

Sarah

Yeah. Thank you. This is, like, perfect timing. You know, I’ve been going through all these issues lately anyway, so I was like, you know, this is a great opportunity to kind of share my story and hopefully help someone else feel a little bit less alone. So, like you said, I had a full term baby. I had, like a perfect pregnancy.

 

00;24;08;26 – 00;24;26;21

Sarah

Everything was great. And then I was 40 weeks and six days. So I had an induction scheduled for the next morning, and then I went into a spontaneous labor and it kind of just like escalated really quickly. My contractions went from like 15 minutes to every minute within an hour. So like something kind of felt a little off from the beginning.

 

00;24;26;23 – 00;24;44;22

Sarah

So, you know, I went to the hospital and throughout my labor, I kind of told my husband in the morning, like, I feel like I have the flu. Like I feel like something’s not really right. But I’ve never been pregnant before, so I was like, I guess this is labor. And, you know, they took my temperature at the hospital, and they didn’t think that, you know, I think nothing came up.

 

00;24;44;24 – 00;25;06;18

Sarah

And it wasn’t till like 5 or 6 hours later that they realized that I had 103 temperature. We still to this day, don’t know, like what happened or why I got the fever or if there was infection or anything, but basically my fever, I guess, caused my daughter to be in distress during labor. So her heart rate was fluctuating for like a lot of the labor.

 

00;25;06;20 – 00;25;24;00

Sarah

And my ObGyn was monitoring it. And, you know, I remember seeing her like, at what point do we take her out? Like what? At what point do we C-section? Like? I was really scared. I didn’t know really what was going on. And she was like, well, you know, I don’t want to see this happening for like a few more hours, but, you know, you’re progressing nicely.

 

00;25;24;00 – 00;25;46;19

Sarah

So let’s keep going. So long story short, I got to the point where I was fully dilated, so she wanted me to push rather than do a C-section. I ended up pushing for over two hours. And the whole time, Aubrey’s heart rate was going up and down, fluctuating. Not a good situation. Finally, she was born. We had a pediatrician on call because my OB was nervous that we would need extra help.

 

00;25;46;21 – 00;26;03;24

Sarah

Aubrey came out. She wasn’t breathing. Basically, they put her on my stomach, cut the cord, and then, like, whisk her away, and everything kind of went really quickly from there. All I could hear was like, the nurses trying to revive her. She was crying and breathing. They were doing the suction. I could just hear them, like hitting her back, trying to get her to breathe.

 

00;26;04;01 – 00;26;25;17

Sarah

And then it was like from a movie. It was like cold. Like you call Doctor Mays and get him up here. And it was pretty crazy. And then they got the thank you doctor up. He intubated her. And basically they whisked her away to the nickeil and, you know, about an hour or so later, the doctors came to us and said, you know, we want to do this treatment for her called, like, it’s hypothermic cooling treatment.

 

00;26;25;19 – 00;26;44;06

Sarah

So they often do that for babies who have oxygen loss at birth, which is what happened with my daughter. And he’s like, you have to get them on it within six hours and it can really dramatically reduce damage from oxygen loss. And it basically just keeps the baby in a hypothermic state for about 72 hours and then slowly warms them up.

 

00;26;44;09 – 00;26;59;29

Sarah

So we ended up doing that treatment. All in all, she was in the queue for ten days. You know, the next day she was activated and it seemed really great. Like she was aware she was sucking on the pacifier. Everything seemed great. And then by the afternoon she started having seizures.

 

00;27;00;04 – 00;27;02;13

Dr. Mona

So that was over 24 hours, right?

 

00;27;02;16 – 00;27;05;03

Sarah

Yeah. So that was in under 24 hours. Oh, yeah.

 

00;27;05;05 – 00;27;08;00

Dr. Mona

Wow. This is exactly like my story I know.

 

00;27;08;02 – 00;27;24;11

Sarah

Right, doctor Mona, when I heard your story like she was born in NICU. Awareness month. So I must have seen your post. And I went back and I read all of your posts, and I just sat there sobbing like, oh my God, this is literally what happened to Aubrey. Like, it just was the first time I felt like there was someone who understood.

 

00;27;24;11 – 00;27;41;21

Sarah

So thank you again. I really just like. And then I listened to your podcast explaining your birth story, and I just sat there with my husband like, chill, like, oh my God, this is literally like, you know how you said you kind of had a premonition? Like, I am super anxious. Like I went to therapy before we conceived because I was so nervous something was going to happen.

 

00;27;41;23 – 00;27;57;26

Sarah

And then like the weeks leading up to the birth, I just had this, like, gut wrenching feeling that something was going to happen. And like, you know, not that I put it into the universe, but like, I don’t really know. Maybe I just knew something was going to happen. But yeah, just like crazy. The similarities. But yeah. So she started having seizures the next day.

 

00;27;57;26 – 00;28;16;29

Sarah

So the morning she was great. We were like, wow, okay, maybe it’s not that bad. And then by the afternoon we luckily have not missed any seizures. I know that you were holding your son. That must have been horrible. Yeah. But we did not witness any seizures then. We were in the room at the time. So they immediately got her hooked up to an EEG.

 

00;28;17;02 – 00;28;39;13

Sarah

They had given her some out of. And they realized it wasn’t controlling the seizure. So they started her on phenobarbital, which is like a very strong seizure medicine. So they and they had to re intubate her because her vitals dropped while she was going through the seizures. And the EEG revealed that she was having subclinical seizures, like, every few seconds, particularly on the left side of her brain.

 

00;28;39;15 – 00;28;57;03

Sarah

So she basically had uncontrollable seizures for almost two days straight. And I remember, like, getting pulled to the side by the neurologists, that Friday night. So she was born on a Wednesday night. That Friday night he pulled us this and he was like, listen, I’m concerned and like, you never want to hear that from any doctor.

 

00;28;57;03 – 00;29;14;18

Sarah

Especially not a doctor. He was like, we can’t control her seizures. And he was like, you know, we’re going to wait overnight. And if we can’t control her seizures, we’re going to add another medicine in addition to it. And then the next morning, Saturday morning, we went down to see her and he was like, so her brain patterns are starting to look a little bit better.

 

00;29;14;18 – 00;29;33;03

Sarah

I want to hold off. And then her seizures just stopped. Like they never had to add more medicine. They just stopped. Wow. Yeah. Like crazy. Because, you know, EEG is like, it’s all, like, subjective, right? Like everybody reads it kind of how they read it. He’s like, I feel like it’s going to get better. So he just held off and like, he just stopped seizing.

 

00;29;33;03 – 00;29;47;17

Sarah

So the last time that we know that she had a seizure was three days after her birth, and she was on seizure medicine for a while after that. So, you know, we didn’t get to, like, touch her or hold her for six days, which was like, wow, we crazy.

 

00;29;47;19 – 00;29;52;16

Dr. Mona

So when did you see her? Like, how many hours of life were you able to.

 

00;29;52;16 – 00;30;09;22

Sarah

We saw her at, I think about like 30 minutes on the way to the recovery room. They rolled me into the NICU and they let me see her. But they wouldn’t let me touch her. And then they brought me to the recovery room. And then right after that, the doctor asked if he could put her on the cooling treatment, and then we didn’t see her again until the next morning.

 

00;30;09;28 – 00;30;30;25

Sarah

And then, since she was on the cooling treatment, we couldn’t touch her at all because we had to keep her body temperature regulated. So I couldn’t touch her for three days, and then I couldn’t hold her for another six because she was intubated again. And you hear we couldn’t take her. So, anyway, yeah, that was like our, you know, NICU. you stay.

 

00;30;30;25 – 00;30;51;11

Sarah

And then when she was ex debated at day six, she kind of, like, just made this, like, miraculous recovery. Like all the doctors and nurses were just, like, in awe, like, yeah, she started drinking milk from a bottle, like, right away. And then she started nursing, like 24 hours after that. And, you know, she obviously has had a long way to go from there.

 

00;30;51;11 – 00;30;55;11

Sarah

But like, it was just a really good sign that she, like her stuck in her, swallow her intact.

 

00;30;55;11 – 00;30;56;07

Dr. Mona

Like, yeah.

 

00;30;56;10 – 00;31;15;11

Sarah

Really, really good sign. So yeah, that’s like the nitty gritty of like the NICU. day. And then we were just discharged and we left with her on the environmental, which is like a very sedative, drug and you know, we kind of were just like, left, like sent from the NICU with like, no instructions. I mean, no parent gets instructions, right?

 

00;31;15;11 – 00;31;30;26

Sarah

But we were kind of just like, we have no idea what we’re doing. And she was very lethargic. She slept, like, all the time. She didn’t cry. She just was, like, so sedated. And, you know, this went on for like, weeks and weeks and, like, she wasn’t really gaining weight. Well. So we had to go to the pediatrician a million times.

 

00;31;30;26 – 00;31;49;02

Sarah

And then when she was about five weeks old, we happened to take her temperature and she was hypothermic. She was like 94 degrees. So we had to go to the E.R. and then we had a whole other like medical day there, and it was just a lot. And while we were there, I really advocated to get her medicine switched.

 

00;31;49;02 – 00;32;08;20

Sarah

We were on a plan to already switch wean off of the phenobarbital onto another medicine, but they have to be very careful with it. So, yeah, like a two month process. But while we were in the hospital, I was like, I need to figure out a solution because she’s not eating well. She’s lethargic. Like, this isn’t working. Like, I understand we have to control the seizures, but like, something’s got to give.

 

00;32;08;20 – 00;32;23;27

Sarah

And I basically just, like, talk to any nurse and doctor who would listen to me, like, I felt like I was constantly being dismissed. And finally, you know, I called our neurologist and she came to the hospital and she was like, okay, well, if you’re going to be here anyway, why don’t we just do like a cold turkey switch?

 

00;32;23;27 – 00;32;32;11

Sarah

Because we can monitor her for the EEG. And like, once she switched the medicine, it was like night and day. Like she was like a new kid. She didn’t cry.

 

00;32;32;11 – 00;32;33;13

Dr. Mona

Like, wow.

 

00;32;33;20 – 00;32;34;21

Sarah

Babies cry.

 

00;32;34;23 – 00;32;36;25

Dr. Mona

What is what did you get switched to?

 

00;32;36;28 – 00;32;38;16

Sarah

So we switched on to Keppra.

 

00;32;38;17 – 00;32;56;28

Dr. Mona

Yeah. Okay. That’s so. Yeah, we were on phenobarbital, and then we had to add keppra so that we could get him off the phenobarbital, and, it was interesting. Yeah. And it goes to show, like, just how different babies are because Ryan wasn’t sedated like that, but we were warned of that. So, of course, my pediatrician brain was like, oh my gosh, what’s going to happen here?

 

00;32;56;28 – 00;33;16;09

Dr. Mona

Like you said, exactly like the feeding the SoC. Those are really important things that we want to see neurologically. For any baby who’s had any brain involvement at delivery, you know, how do you think the medical community could have better supported you through this process? I mean, meaning like even in the NICU, I love to talk about like the NICU experience itself.

 

00;33;16;12 – 00;33;22;26

Dr. Mona

Is it just communication? But even like this whole aftermath, like what could have been done better, what was done great. In your opinion?

 

00;33;22;29 – 00;33;43;12

Sarah

Yeah. So this is such a loaded answer for me because we’ve had so many medical experiences in this first year, especially the first six months. But the ICU in and of itself was phenomenal. Like, I really will say that, like Aubrey’s care in the nick year was top notch. Her doctors were phenomenal, her nurses were phenomenal. The communication was really great as far as they can communicate.

 

00;33;43;17 – 00;34;04;04

Sarah

I think the thing that’s difficult for me with hospitals in general is that, you know, there’s shift changes, right? So like there’s a doctor on for a couple days and then there’s a new doctor and like the nurses are changing all the time. So for me that was the super overwhelming part of like the medical system and that I didn’t like, you know, it’s like they were great at communicating if we called or asked for updates.

 

00;34;04;04 – 00;34;28;07

Sarah

Right. But I had to specifically say, like, can you call me when the doctor gets in? Like, I want the doctor to call me? Like I felt like this whole process, I was just like begging for information I was advocating. I was just being that squeaky wheel. And it just makes me wonder, like, what happens to all these families who’s whose parents aren’t as assertive or maybe don’t have, like, English as their first language or, you know, there’s just so many, so many factors.

 

00;34;28;07 – 00;34;48;09

Sarah

And so Aubrey’s NICU Care was great. The communication in general was pretty good. I feel like my care was appalling as a mother. Like, I felt like I wasn’t listened to. I felt like she should have been a C-section. And, you know, hindsight’s 2020. You’re never going to know. Like, maybe she also would have not been breathing with the C-section.

 

00;34;48;09 – 00;35;05;11

Sarah

I know that happened to you. Like, you never know. But I felt like I was dismissed and my OB never followed up with me afterwards. Like, we ran into her in the ICU five days later and she was like, oh, I meant to call you. I mean, were like, really good. Yeah, okay. You know, like so I felt like my care wasn’t great.

 

00;35;05;11 – 00;35;10;23

Sarah

And like, at my six week appointment, I went to the same practice because I just didn’t have anywhere else. And so.

 

00;35;10;25 – 00;35;11;25

Dr. Mona

I was just like the same thing.

 

00;35;11;25 – 00;35;12;26

Erin

That happened to me. Oh my.

 

00;35;12;26 – 00;35;13;15

Dr. Mona

Gosh. Okay.

 

00;35;13;15 – 00;35;28;25

Sarah

And I saw a different doctor and he didn’t even ask me about Aubrey. He did not even ask me how she was. And he knows. And the best part is my mother in law used to work in their office for 30 years. She knew all that and now he didn’t even ask me like, how’s the baby doing? How are you doing?

 

00;35;28;25 – 00;35;34;08

Sarah

You know, the general depression screening and stuff. And I was like, of course I’m depressed. Yeah, my baby was just doing like you.

 

00;35;34;09 – 00;35;37;07

Dr. Mona

Do you think that would have helped if they just said, yes, I.

 

00;35;37;07 – 00;35;38;09

Sarah

Absolutely.

 

00;35;38;09 – 00;35;44;19

Dr. Mona

I don’t need you to get down on your knees and apologize. I just say acknowledge what happened to us exactly.

 

00;35;44;20 – 00;36;09;01

Sarah

And the fact that, like, my OB didn’t even acknowledge it and, like, should be kind of like caught her with her tail between her legs because we ran into her in the nick and she was like, oh, yeah, I was going to call you in. Like if she had just taken, you know, a minute to call me. Like, even when Aubrey was being intubated, like in the room with me there, she’s showing me up and she’s not even acknowledging, like, I know, I think she was trying to distract me, but she’s trying to, like, explain to me about my stitches.

 

00;36;09;01 – 00;36;25;12

Sarah

And I’m like, what are you? Like, shut up. I’m. Yeah, baby. Like, I couldn’t care less what you’re doing. And I was still feverish, so the whole thing was just like, crazy. But yes, if they had just taken a minute to acknowledge me as a person and like what happened to us and like, yeah, you don’t need to grovel.

 

00;36;25;15 – 00;36;41;15

Sarah

But, like, even when I questioned her because a big part of this that was really hard for me is that we don’t have answers. Right? Like, I don’t know what happened. I don’t know why they never even tested my placenta. They never did anything. They never gave me an antibiotic like I had a fever. But I was never treated as if I had an infection.

 

00;36;41;18 – 00;36;45;23

Sarah

It was just like bizarre. And she said to me, this is like our story.

 

00;36;45;23 – 00;36;46;22

Dr. Mona

This is crazy.

 

00;36;46;25 – 00;37;00;11

Sarah

I was never I know, I’m telling you, I got chills. I was just like, crying listening to your podcast. And you know what she said to me when I was asking her more information, like, well, why don’t you do x, Y and Z? Why didn’t you do this? Why didn’t you do that? Like, you didn’t use like, a vacuum?

 

00;37;00;11 – 00;37;21;01

Sarah

You like it seemed like there was no urgency to get her out. And she goes, well, you know, we can’t really be Monday morning quarterbacks. That is what my OB said to me. And like I, I get she was trying to be like you can’t control everything. It’s you know doctors aren’t super human like they’re humans. Like they they do what they can with the information they have in the moment.

 

00;37;21;01 – 00;37;25;08

Sarah

Like, I totally understand that. But it was just such an insensitive thing for her to say to me.

 

00;37;25;11 – 00;37;35;10

Dr. Mona

Well, that’s the thing. I think the reason why I asked you this question is that I, as a medical professional, my husband as a medical professional, we were in that same situation. And you are not a medical professional, correct?

 

00;37;35;13 – 00;37;37;22

Sarah

No. I’m a child psychologist by medical profession.

 

00;37;37;23 – 00;37;56;27

Dr. Mona

Yeah, like like hospital life. Okay. But me and my husband, even us knowing you said this, but also even us knowing what happens in a hospital and how we communicate, we knew also that when something goes wrong, we understand as medical professionals that we also can’t control everything. And sometimes outcomes happen even if a person were to control it.

 

00;37;56;27 – 00;38;16;26

Dr. Mona

But the difference goes down to how you respond when the mistake happened. So as physicians too, if we make a mistake, there is a communication that happens. We call we talk to the families and say, you know, I heard this happen. Let’s talk about it because it’s the right thing to do, not only for you as a physician to learn about, well, what happened in this situation.

 

00;38;17;00 – 00;38;35;21

Dr. Mona

Sometimes there aren’t answers. And I know this, like even 20 months later, we don’t have an answer for why I had infected fluid in my abdomen. I still don’t know why. I’ll never know. Okay. And a enough. But I also know that how we respond to that and that same thing happened to me. I went to the, OBS office after because I had nowhere else to go, and I didn’t have time to find someone else because I was like tired.

 

00;38;35;26 – 00;38;54;20

Dr. Mona

And my son had seizures and I was like, lost it. And I had double surgery. So then I went and it was my OB who delivered. Ryan was not the one who followed up with my care after, because she went on medical leave right after he was born, and we knew that was going to happen. Okay, I knew this was going to happen, but I wanted her to deliver Ryan because I trusted her.

 

00;38;54;27 – 00;39;13;03

Dr. Mona

But then her colleague was the one who took care of us after, and she was the one who was dismissive. But when I went back to my OB, she had no idea what happened. Wow. I was shocked and I cried in the office and I said, look, this is not okay. And I think when we advocate for ourselves, I mean, the take home from this is that you absolutely need to advocate for yourself.

 

00;39;13;07 – 00;39;31;00

Dr. Mona

Something’s not right. Yes, absolutely. And so the educational point here is that if you feel like something’s not right with your baby or yourself, and if the nurse isn’t listening, you ask to speak to the doctor. If the doctor is not listening, you asked to speak to the charge nurse. If the charge nurse is not listening, you asked to speak to whoever’s in charge.

 

00;39;31;00 – 00;39;48;06

Dr. Mona

Beyond that, like you need to make sure. And sometimes I will be honest. It can be nothing, that there’s nothing wrong. We don’t we don’t want to dismiss that if it is something that’s wrong. And I rather have a parent go through the checks of like, okay, let me talk to I need to talk to and that we do due diligence because that’s what happened to us.

 

00;39;48;11 – 00;40;07;12

Dr. Mona

We are two physicians. I knew something was wrong with my body. Ryan’s care was fantastic. But like you said, it was my care. I knew something was wrong with my care. Right? We get to advocate like crazy. And like you said, perfectly, what happens to all the people who don’t have the educational level, who can’t speak English, who don’t know medicine, or who don’t know how to advocate, and you need that support person, right?

 

00;40;07;12 – 00;40;28;17

Dr. Mona

Like with Covid, it’s like you have to have someone there with you because that person might be the one who needs to advocate for you and say, my partner doesn’t look good, something’s not right. What are our options? Can you tell us why do you not want to do it? Why is a C-section not an exact moment? It may not work, but it’s so important to voice that because it can also help you in healing.

 

00;40;28;17 – 00;40;34;01

Dr. Mona

After that, you tried everything and that you were in communication with what the plan of action was, for sure.

 

00;40;34;01 – 00;40;47;09

Sarah

And that’s what I felt like in my labor, you know, I felt like I kept being dismissed. When I got to the hospital. I told the nurse, like, I feel like I have the flu or like a fever. And she took my temperature. It didn’t read, but the only way they got a temperature for me was under my armpit.

 

00;40;47;16 – 00;41;07;19

Sarah

So the traditional under the mouth, like under the tongue, didn’t or forehead didn’t show up as a fever. And she did give me Tylenol, which is weird. But then they never treated me beyond that. And then I had the chills and they said it was just from the epidural, which maybe it was, but I was feverish for hours before they finally discovered that I had 103 fever.

 

00;41;07;26 – 00;41;27;21

Sarah

And like I did, ask my doctor, like, at what point do you take her? And like, I feel like I got a lot of like wishy washy answers. And she kept leaving the room. Like, if you have a patient whose baby is in distress like that, like I get, you can’t be in the room the whole time. But like, I felt like she just kept leaving and like there was no urgency yet it was urgent enough that she had a pediatrician on call.

 

00;41;27;21 – 00;41;44;22

Sarah

Like, there’s a lot of dissonance between like, what it seemed like was going on and how she was reacting to it. And, I don’t know, this was just one example of how, like you said, I urge people to listen to your body. You know what’s happening, listen to like, what you think is happening for your baby. Listen to your gut.

 

00;41;44;22 – 00;41;59;28

Sarah

Like we had issues after with Aubrey too, when we were in the hospital and we went through like whole feeding a version with her and nobody listened to me, I feel like I still three months. I spoke to her pediatrician. He kept saying, oh no, it’s probably reflux if she doesn’t want to eat. And I’m like, no, but she’s fine.

 

00;42;00;04 – 00;42;15;06

Sarah

She’s not eating. And he was like, no, no, it’s reflux. And we were like, yeah, but if it was reflux, wouldn’t she be in pain outside of eating? Like, it was literally like we took the bottle away and she would stop crying. And I kept saying, even when we were in the hospital, we saw a feeding specialist. And I said, I think that this is behavioral.

 

00;42;15;09 – 00;42;30;27

Sarah

And my daughter was only five weeks old. And the feeding specialist said to me, oh, it can’t be behavioral because she’s too young. And like, I’m a behavioral therapist. Like, yeah, age doesn’t matter. So like, but you know, I also don’t know what I don’t know. Right? You’re in this unique position, right? I’ve never been a parent before.

 

00;42;30;27 – 00;42;53;19

Sarah

I’ve never had a baby. So like in my gut, though, I knew something was off. And here we are, three, four months later when she’s four months old and she had developed a bottle aversion, which is actually very common for you babies. Just putting that out there, because there’s so much of an emphasis on weight gain and getting X amount of milliliters in or X amount of ounces in or going up percentiles on the curve.

 

00;42;53;19 – 00;43;08;10

Sarah

And, you know, I think it happens a lot more with preemies. But it does happen for full term babies. And we left NICU you feeling so much pressure to feed her that. Like we ended up pressuring her to eat. And what was happening is when she was on the phenobarbital, she was so sedated that she was eating great.

 

00;43;08;17 – 00;43;27;26

Sarah

And then when I took her off, Barbara, she was more aware. So she was like, stop dumping me, mom. Like you’re forcing me to eat. And like, I kept telling people when we were there for the hospital, when she was hypothermic for five days, every single feeding got worse and worse and worse, and she stopped eating, basically. And their prerogative is get this baby to eat, which I understand you have a five week old baby.

 

00;43;27;26 – 00;43;50;03

Sarah

You need them to eat. But they were just dismissing me, saying like, no, it’s not behavioral. I’m like, I’m not saying she’s doing it on purpose. I’m saying that there’s something about feeding that is upsetting her. So either something gastro or like something is aversive, like we need to figure that out. And I feel like every doctor’s appointment, every nurse that I saw, every doctor that I saw, I just kept pushing it and pushing it and pushing it and like nobody listened.

 

00;43;50;03 – 00;44;08;24

Sarah

And finally we figured it out on our own. We just were googling, like her symptoms, and we came across this random article about bottle aversion by Rowena Bennett. And she actually has a book about bottle aversion. And we were like, oh my God, this is it. We read the book and like we turned around her whole bottle version and we switched pediatricians.

 

00;44;08;27 – 00;44;24;13

Sarah

So that was like something else I wanted to, like, put out there for people listening. Like, you don’t need to stay with a doctor that you feel unsure about. Like we kept going to this pediatrician over and over again because you were overwhelmed, right? Like, you leave the NICU you’re going to doctor’s appointments sometimes multiple times a week.

 

00;44;24;13 – 00;44;40;15

Sarah

The last thing you want to do is try to find a whole new practice. And we ended up staying within the same practice. But we were like, our pediatrician is not listening to us. And, you know, I get it. Like, you guys only get a few minutes with us every visit. But like, if he had just said like, oh, okay, maybe it is behavioral.

 

00;44;40;16 – 00;44;57;12

Sarah

I felt like I was going crazy. Yeah. Until we found this resource. So like that, you know, just going back to your whole like, advocating thing, like advocate for yourself. You can find a new doctor. Just if you think something in your gut is off, like, don’t let that go. Even my husband sometimes is like, you know, Sarah, you’re really anxious.

 

00;44;57;12 – 00;45;14;07

Sarah

Like, just try to, like, relax. Aubrey’s okay. And I was like, no, Alex. Like, you don’t get it. Like, this isn’t just anxiety. This is like me. And my gut feeling like something is off. And sure enough, like it was off and we figured it out. And now she’s a great eater. But you know, mom, you know best and you know your baby best.

 

00;45;14;09 – 00;45;34;06

Dr. Mona

Absolutely. And that’s the whole point of this advocacy piece, right? I think parents are worried of again, like you said, like you don’t know what you don’t know, but you also know what is not making you feel right about certain situations. Like you can’t deny that feeling. So even if you’re wrong, the worst thing is that you voiced it and you did the avenues to make sure you checked all their boxes.

 

00;45;34;06 – 00;45;50;27

Dr. Mona

And that’s not harmful, right? Like to me. Right? It makes more sense to do that. And so you know what? Something doesn’t feel right. I can do x, y and z and you know, I’ll do this and that versus okay, I felt something was wrong. I didn’t do anything about it. And then you have regret, like there’s never going to be a regret for doing more if you put it that way.

 

00;45;50;27 – 00;46;09;16

Dr. Mona

You know, like for asking for more. You know, I get it then, that it’s hard with the medical community and I’m in that medical community, I understand, but being on the other side has really opened my eyes to, as you know, how, even the best of doctors. And I love that you said that even the best of people in certain situations are not perfect for your needs.

 

00;46;09;18 – 00;46;27;22

Dr. Mona

It doesn’t mean that that doctor that you let go was not a great doctor for so many people, right? Because I know that. But it means that in that situation, whether it was a couple visits, whether it was many visits, you weren’t feeling seen. But that doesn’t mean that you won’t feel seen by another physician, and that doesn’t mean that that doctor wouldn’t see or, you know, be good for another person.

 

00;46;27;22 – 00;46;49;25

Dr. Mona

It’s a relationship. And you said it is. That relationship is not working. You don’t have to stick with it. You don’t like there’s no reason you have to stick with someone that doesn’t make you feel good about your parenting, your physical well-being of your child. There are other options and second opinions. I agree with that. Absolutely. What would be something that you don’t think people realize about the NICU experience or being a new mom?

 

00;46;49;25 – 00;47;02;25

Dr. Mona

Maybe when you left and if you, things that happened after being in the nick or what people family member said or coworkers or, you know, things that just you’ve heard that you’re like, wow, how do people not know this about being of the reality of being a Nicky mom?

 

00;47;02;27 – 00;47;23;12

Sarah

I think that people don’t realize that, like, you know, they say a lot of like, you’re so strong, you’re so brave, like, you’re super mom, you’re super hero, and it’s like, we’re strong because we have to be like, you know, yeah, we might be strong and brave and resilient people to begin with. But like when you just label us as, like these superhuman people, you fail to see our humanity.

 

00;47;23;12 – 00;47;44;17

Sarah

And that’s something that, a resource that I love. Dear NICU mama, it’s an Instagram account. They shared that post, a couple months ago, and it just resonated with me so much because, you know, it’s one of those things where people mean well, and I think it also depends on the person. So one person might feel offended to hear that, and, another person might not.

 

00;47;44;20 – 00;48;01;04

Sarah

But that’s something that I think would be good for people to know is just that, like, we’re strong because we have to be and like, you know, we are people to at the end of the day, and, you know, I think that people also don’t realize that it doesn’t just end when you go home. Right? Like, so some babies are in the queue for months, like Aubrey was in there for ten days.

 

00;48;01;04 – 00;48;22;11

Sarah

But you know, our journey didn’t end at ten days. You know, we were in the hospital two extra times. She’s had eight EEGs, like she’s had two MRI’s. You know, like there’s been it’s just it stays with you. Yeah. And it doesn’t just like and and I think that’s something too, that your trauma and your experience can take a long time to kind of work through.

 

00;48;22;11 – 00;48;44;08

Sarah

And for a lot of people, it’s always going to be there. You know, like it’s been a year since Aubrey was in the NICU when we had our traumatic story. And I still cry, like pretty regularly about it. And it’s still difficult for me to watch birth scenes. And it’s something that, like your healing is going to take as much time as you need it to, and it would be nice for people to understand that.

 

00;48;44;10 – 00;49;06;17

Sarah

And just like people just don’t understand, like how isolating and how lonely it is to be a new parent. Like we honestly had so much support, like our family was wonderful, our friends were wonderful, our coworkers and bosses were, you know, phenomenal. So many people brought us food and and all that. And even with all that support, it was the most lonely time of my life.

 

00;49;06;19 – 00;49;07;04

Dr. Mona

Yeah.

 

00;49;07;05 – 00;49;19;28

Sarah

You know, but, yeah, you come home and, like, you’re pumping in the middle of the night and, you know, you have to leave your baby in the hospital. Like, I don’t think people understand how gut wrenching it is to see your child sick and not be able to help them.

 

00;49;20;00 – 00;49;44;05

Dr. Mona

Oh, lonely is not. I mean, there has to be a word for the loneliness of a NICU mom. Like, because not only are you lonely because no one else is going through what you were going through at that moment, but you’re also being triggered by the sounds of the hospital babies crying and you been triggered. It’s an emotional roller coaster that, again, every parent will go through something in their lives that will be that defining moment for them.

 

00;49;44;05 – 00;49;58;02

Dr. Mona

And I think as a mom, that is going to be your defining moment. I see it pull out that knot that you’re going to have an easy parenting life. That’s not what I mean, because parenting is not easy. But you went through something from the beginning that your child was born. That is going to really define how you view the world, right?

 

00;49;58;02 – 00;50;16;28

Dr. Mona

You’re going to you’re going to really look at things. You’re like, wow, like, I can’t believe we went through this. And wow, that was insanely hard. And I can’t believe I survived that. And in that moment, though, my goodness, I mean, that loneliness of being in that room, I remember just staring at the clock and the nurse would come in there like, you don’t want to watch TV, you don’t want to do anything.

 

00;50;16;28 – 00;50;20;24

Dr. Mona

I would just stare. I literally would just stare at a wall or.

 

00;50;20;24 – 00;50;22;12

Sarah

The corner, like numb. You know.

 

00;50;22;17 – 00;50;26;04

Dr. Mona

It was not mean. Like you said. It was like a movie, right? You feel like you’re out of your body.

 

00;50;26;04 – 00;50;27;16

Sarah

It was an adult watching.

 

00;50;27;20 – 00;50;42;09

Dr. Mona

You’re watching from above as everything is unfolding. Like you when your daughter was, you know, getting the back, the back taps and all that, like, I mean, that is exactly like it’s slowmo and it feels like you’re out of your body. And the whole time you’re not even feeling like you’re there. And I think it’s, you know, you’re using you’re a psychologist right.

 

00;50;42;11 – 00;51;00;10

Dr. Mona

Yeah. I think it’s like almost like a protective mechanism so that you almost can cope better when you feel like you’re pulled away. You’re like literally like okay this is happening. But is it really happening. Yeah. It’s it’s really reality right now like that. I’m looking at my child with the cool cap on and all this and like, you know, all this stuff that’s happening and you literally like that loneliness that you feel.

 

00;51;00;10 – 00;51;16;05

Dr. Mona

And I think one of the things that I think people don’t realize is it’s not like, your loneliness is because people aren’t with you. It’s alone research inside your head. It’s a loneliness that exists because you feel so alone in your body and your experience, but you can have all the people around you. It’s kind of like depression, right?

 

00;51;16;05 – 00;51;32;10

Dr. Mona

Like, yeah, you can have all the people around you and all the support in the world, but it’s not them. It’s you that’s going through something and just need some time, like you said. And it’s so lonely. I mean, I’m still a little lonely from it, you know, I have my social media. I have, you know, you guys, connecting these stories.

 

00;51;32;10 – 00;51;38;25

Dr. Mona

But I still tell my husband that sometimes I feel a little lonely. But, you know, we went through that, and now we’re in a pandemic. Like, I feel like.

 

00;51;39;00 – 00;51;59;02

Sarah

We did a whole pregnancy in a pandemic. I couldn’t even do everything. I had a baby shower, you know, like. And then she was born in September, so there was a couple months where it was kind of okay weather. So we kind of did some outdoor visits, like my entire maternity leave was isolated in the house, bringing her to like, the neurologist and then, you know, the follow up appointments and being in the hospital.

 

00;51;59;02 – 00;52;16;27

Sarah

And, you know, I think another thing that people don’t realize is the amount of grief that we have to process as now and then, like it’s both the immediate grief of, like, I never got that like hospital picture, you know, like, yeah, yeah, picture I have of my baby is her intubated like, so I had to text everybody that picture.

 

00;52;16;27 – 00;52;21;16

Sarah

You know, everyone knew I was I was going to be induced. So I’m getting text the whole next day like.

 

00;52;21;18 – 00;52;21;29

Dr. Mona

Yeah.

 

00;52;21;29 – 00;52;31;29

Sarah

And she figure is she here? How are you? And like, the only thing I could share was a picture of my baby intubated in the pew. And I’m like, yeah, she’s here. You know, like, there’s the immediate grief of.

 

00;52;31;29 – 00;52;32;28

Dr. Mona

Yes.

 

00;52;33;01 – 00;52;36;23

Sarah

Of all these moments that you imagined from the time you’re a little girl.

 

00;52;36;26 – 00;53;00;29

Dr. Mona

Yeah, I know it’s your first baby. And that vision. Do I completely feel it? Like. I mean, it was so hard. And, you know, I don’t know how your family reacted, but culturally, in Indian culture, like, you don’t share sad news or negative news. So my parents were even, like, just don’t share pictures. I’m like, why? Like when people ask me, like, your son’s born and he’s again, he was intubated, he had the EEG and the cap on and everything.

 

00;53;00;29 – 00;53;18;22

Dr. Mona

Like I’m like, well, this is our life. This is. Yeah, this is what he looks like, right? This is just like, you want me to hide this? This is what happened to us. Like, I can’t not share this. And it part of sharing it is healing, right? And it’s just a cultural thing, but it’s like I attacked the matching outfit I had packed, that robe I had done.

 

00;53;18;29 – 00;53;37;22

Dr. Mona

I had visions of. Exactly right. I’m a, you know, I had all these visions. I take care of babies in the nursery, and I know, you know, these things happen and babies go home with their mom. And it was that reality that, like, my husband would have to take my son home without me because I was saying like it was that reality that he would have to be sit in that wheelchair because they don’t allow the person to stand with the baby.

 

00;53;37;22 – 00;53;51;21

Dr. Mona

I think you know that, like when you’re wheeled out, the person has to sit and I’m like, how can my husband be the one to sit with my son? Like, I need to get out of this hospital? Like it’s unmet expectations, but it’s stuff that we all should have that joy of, right? Like it’s not like it was unrealistic expectations.

 

00;53;51;21 – 00;54;18;14

Dr. Mona

I think every mother has an expectation that they will take their baby home, that they will take a healthy baby home, take a baby home that they don’t need to go to a specialist visit, take a baby home where they got to do the picture. I don’t think that’s an outlandish expectation, but when it doesn’t happen, that grief is overwhelming and I think a lot of people I honestly feel this, that before this happened to me, I also am guilty of thinking that grief, real grief, was if you had a loss, that that person was no longer there.

 

00;54;18;14 – 00;54;35;22

Dr. Mona

I think that was a misconception that I personally also had until I went through this grief. And when I experienced this grief, I understood that grief is not just loss of a human being. It’s not just someone passing away. It’s truly the loss of something that you wanted, the loss of a healthy kid, the loss of a delivery wanted.

 

00;54;35;22 – 00;54;59;04

Dr. Mona

Grief isn’t there’s no definition of, oh, it’s this experience. It’s no. If you think it’s grief, it’s grief, and no one can take that away from you. And I tell moms all the time, I’m like, if you’re grieving something, whether it was a C-section when you wanted a vaginal, unmedicated birth because you wanted to unmedicated, that is your grief and you are entitled to that grief, you know, you know, and it hurts like, I mean, because when someone says to you, oh, Sarah, what do you mean?

 

00;54;59;04 – 00;55;16;01

Dr. Mona

Like your kid is healthy, you look at them, they’re alive. Okay. Well, yes. Being alive, I’m not denying the fact that my child’s alive and I’m grateful. But please understand that there’s so much more going through my grief right now than having an alive baby. Like I am grieving something that happened really bad to us. Like. And there’s nothing wrong with that, you know?

 

00;55;16;03 – 00;55;21;27

Sarah

Absolutely. And I know I was grieving for the future. Like, you know, when your baby has a brain injury.

 

00;55;22;00 – 00;55;22;27

Dr. Mona

Yeah.

 

00;55;22;29 – 00;55;24;11

Sarah

The future is really unknown.

 

00;55;24;11 – 00;55;25;04

Dr. Mona

Yeah.

 

00;55;25;07 – 00;55;46;06

Sarah

And there’s no answers. And all they could ever tell us was you have to wait and see. And that is the hardest pill to swallow. Like, I remember when the neurologist pulled aside that second night and was like, I’m concerned. I just, like, sat there numb, like grieving, like being at my daughter’s wedding or having her talk to me or having her walk.

 

00;55;46;06 – 00;56;05;16

Sarah

And like, I know that, like, I was way getting ahead of myself, right? Like, you really don’t know. But like, in that moment, like every dream I had of having a daughter just physically crushed, you know? So, like, you’re grieving what happened to you in the moment. And, like, you’re also grieving, like your life, your dreams of the future, that you don’t know what’s going to happen.

 

00;56;05;16 – 00;56;23;09

Sarah

And like life is always uncertain. Like you’re never going to know. But, you know, I think when you have a baby, it’s such a momentous occasion in your life. And like, it’s such a turning point in your life. Right? It’s such a milestone. And when something happens where you don’t know what’s going to happen with your baby in the future, like we didn’t know if she was going to live through that night, you know.

 

00;56;23;11 – 00;56;24;07

Erin

Yeah.

 

00;56;24;09 – 00;56;38;18

Sarah

We didn’t we didn’t know if she was ever going to walk or talk. And, you know, I definitely was grieving. And like, I was kind of like that for the first six months of her life, to be honest, until she started to really like, meet her milestones and, just so you know, she’s doing great.

 

00;56;38;18 – 00;56;41;04

Dr. Mona

She’s doing, she’s she’s doing.

 

00;56;41;11 – 00;57;03;11

Sarah

She’s doing so, so good. But like, the first six months of her life, like, it was really hard for me to be present with her because I was so consumed with worry and like, am I doing enough? Am I stimulating her enough? Is she gonna be able to do X, Y, and Z? So the first six months were really hard, but when she was three months old, she had a repeat MRI.

 

00;57;03;11 – 00;57;23;20

Sarah

So her first MRI, I don’t think I said this, indicated that she had a stroke in the corpus callosum area of her brain, which is the part of the brain that connects both hemispheres. And it’s is contributes to everything, right? Like feeding, speaking, walking, reading, like every thing that you do is communicated through the corpus callosum. So like to hear.

 

00;57;23;20 – 00;57;47;05

Sarah

And it was her entire corpus callosum was kind of impacted by by the oxygen loss. So to hear that like it just it was so overwhelming. And then we had an MRI done at three months old and the neurologist called us and was like, so there’s like no indication that anything ever happened.

 

00;57;47;05 – 00;57;47;27

Dr. Mona

Well.

 

00;57;48;00 – 00;57;54;07

Sarah

And we were like, what? And she was like, yeah. Like it’s a typical three month brain. Like there is no scar tissue.

 

00;57;54;07 – 00;57;56;27

Dr. Mona

Isn’t that amazing? It’s the city. Yeah.

 

00;57;56;27 – 00;58;19;22

Sarah

Amazing. And like, you know, your story, like when it happens, you know, I’ve heard of people being in the nick. You. I personally didn’t know of anybody who had a baby in the nick. But like, most of what you hear about for Nicky, babies is like preemies. And not that there’s anything any less scary about that, but like, I just didn’t know anybody who had gone through what I was going through and what the outcome could be.

 

00;58;19;22 – 00;58;40;11

Sarah

And, you know, the doctors can’t promise you anything like they can’t. So like, even if I was like, well, could she be okay? They’re like, yeah, she could be okay. Like it was very they were very hesitant to even give me that glimmer of hope that like, she could be okay. So like, seeing your story with Ryan gave me so much hope that like, oh, my God, like, she might walk one day.

 

00;58;40;11 – 00;58;51;28

Sarah

She might talk. She might, you know, not have any, like, major issues. So that was like a huge, huge relief. But yeah, it was. Yeah. And I’m almost like, you just don’t know.

 

00;58;52;02 – 00;59;09;01

Dr. Mona

Oh, I mean, the hardest part for me was because I’m a pediatrician and I know all this stuff, right? I know stroke, you know, seizures. I know how to be positive. But I also know that there’s a reality that this may not happen. And I screamed in desperation of like, please tell me, you know, he’s and I think you heard that on my podcast episode.

 

00;59;09;08 – 00;59;27;17

Dr. Mona

Please tell me he’s going to walk and say, mama, like I need to know that. And again, they don’t have any crystal ball and you literally are just waiting and waiting and waiting and figuring out how to engage with baby and figuring out what to look out for. And when is this going to be a concern? And then your anxiety goes crazy when they start refusing the bottle because Ryan refused the bottle.

 

00;59;27;17 – 00;59;46;01

Dr. Mona

And I he was a great feeder and it was distraction related. Like it was more like you said, behavioral related in terms of distraction versus a neurological issue. But I, in my neurology and I was like, I need you to walk me off a ledge right now. But that anxiety is a real thing. And you said it perfectly like that anxiety and that worry.

 

00;59;46;08 – 01;00;05;26

Dr. Mona

It really takes you out of the ability to engage with your baby at a time when you want to be there and present. And that, yeah, is huge. I mean, that is something that you can’t it’s not like someone can tell you or just, you know, just do it. It’s like it takes you right yourself to kind of get there and say, okay, right, I need to work with what I need to work on, and I only can look at what I look at now.

 

01;00;05;26 – 01;00;21;27

Dr. Mona

And that’s so easier said than done, right? I mean, I for sure I kept thinking about the future for months, and I still think about the future, and it’s hard not to. And it’s really hard to stay in the moment with the medical diagnosis. I mean, the medical diagnosis throws everything out of, out of whack because, yes, anything can happen in our life.

 

01;00;21;27 – 01;00;38;19

Dr. Mona

We understand this, right? You you never know what your future holds. But when you have a medical diagnosis, you now say, okay, well, what are the outcomes? I don’t know what I’m supposed to do, what’s going to happen? But on the flip side, what gave me some solace is that because we had the medical diagnosis, I kept telling myself, we know what he had.

 

01;00;38;19 – 01;00;58;28

Dr. Mona

I’m going to be extra attune, extra alert and things now, right? Like, yeah, more so. I probably would have done it had he not had the diagnosis. But like you’re going to just be extra and that’s good to be extra sometimes. Yeah. What would be your final message for everyone listening? Like, you know, if they’re going through something similar, if they’re not, what would be your final message?

 

01;00;59;01 – 01;01;14;10

Sarah

I think the biggest take home is like, you’re not alone. Even though it feels lonely. Yeah. And there’s only a small community of us. You’re not alone. Like when you’re up at night pumping. Just think of the other moms doing the same thing.

 

01;01;14;11 – 01;01;15;21

Dr. Mona

Yeah.

 

01;01;15;24 – 01;01;40;12

Sarah

You’re not alone. Other people have gone through it. Like, look at dear Nikki, mama. Like they saved my life. Like they always happen to post something that just so validating. It was like the only resource that was so, so validating to me. And, you know, you can have a duality of emotion. They talk about that a lot, like, yeah, you can be extremely angry and have this immense grief about what happened.

 

01;01;40;12 – 01;01;57;06

Sarah

And you can also be grateful that your baby is alive. Like you don’t have to feel guilty for feeling these emotions. And, you know, I felt that a lot. And sometimes I still do. Like in the beginning, I felt like so guilty for my anxiety because I felt like she was feeding off of it and like I didn’t want to cause her any more harm.

 

01;01;57;06 – 01;02;14;16

Sarah

And, you know, it’s taken me a long time to just kind of accept it. Like, I’m not over this yet, and that’s okay. Like, I kind of put pressure on myself that like a year old, when she’s a year old, I’m going to be better and like, I’m not. And like, that’s okay. So just remember that, like, you’re not alone.

 

01;02;14;19 – 01;02;34;18

Sarah

Stand up for yourself. Advocate. Like if you have a gut feeling about something like follow it and don’t stop until you feel satisfied. Like it took months and months of me talking to anybody who would listen until we figured it out on our own and like, got the solution to what we needed, at least for the bottle version.

 

01;02;34;20 – 01;02;56;11

Sarah

But you know, like, don’t give up on that kind of, you know, gut feeling, and, you know, the NICU was so uncertain and you don’t know what the future holds, but my daughter was a miracle. Like she truly was. Ryan is a miracle. All babies are miracles. But like, these NICU babies really are miraculous. And, you know, the baby’s brain really is plastic.

 

01;02;56;11 – 01;03;14;11

Sarah

And, like, we still don’t know what the future holds. But like, her recovery was just insane. And it can happen. So like, if you need that sliver of hope that like it can happen, keep that hope it can happen. And you know, don’t ever think that your bond with your baby is any less like I was really nervous about that.

 

01;03;14;11 – 01;03;32;26

Sarah

That like, well, she know me like, well, we have a strong bond because we also couldn’t really breastfeed. That’s a whole other story. I won’t get into you, but, that’s often difficult for babies who are in the market to have like a real breastfeeding journey. And I thought that, like, we wouldn’t have a strong bond. And I think that honestly, the situation made our bond even stronger.

 

01;03;32;26 – 01;03;51;25

Sarah

Like babies. Know your baby knows that you’re there. Your baby knows that you fought for them. Your baby like that was probably the best thing that my best friend said to me. Like when I was so anxious. Like, Aubrey knows you’re there. She knows your voice. She knows you’re so. Yes, she knows. She knows your touch. So like, that was probably the best thing anyone could have said to me.

 

01;03;51;27 – 01;04;02;23

Sarah

Was that, like, she knows you, and your bond is not going to be any less if anything, it’s going to be stronger. Like, I think that we have a great bond that she just. She knows that I fought like hell for her.

 

01;04;02;25 – 01;04;25;00

Dr. Mona

Yeah, and you did. And and you were going to find that that bond is going to continue to blossom into this amazing thing. That is your bond, right? It’s your special bond that is so unique to you and and your daughter. I’m just like, and I’m so glad that you realize that. And it’s so, you know, part of my journey on social is reminding mothers of that bond is created in such unique ways.

 

01;04;25;00 – 01;04;34;20

Dr. Mona

And I experience that. Right. Like, like you said, I was so distant with Ryan until he started smiling. I was afraid to get close to him, and I was afraid because I was worried something would happen to him. Right? Yeah. I was.

 

01;04;34;27 – 01;04;35;28

Sarah

Always waiting for the shoe to.

 

01;04;35;28 – 01;04;53;12

Dr. Mona

Drop. Yes, I was just reading and I was. I was protecting myself. I didn’t want to get close to my own child. And then once he started smiling, once he started doing more developmentally is when I started to really start to bond with him. And now as a toddler, I mean, you’re, you know, about a year you’re going to literally I mean, when and I know it’s going to happen for you, Sarah.

 

01;04;53;12 – 01;05;12;01

Dr. Mona

She’s going to say, mama, you’re going to cry, you’re going to on me. And I’m crying. And then Ryan started seeing Ryan walked at ten months, but he didn’t say mama until 20 months. Okay. Wow. He said mama one like at one year. He’s a data shy like everyone else. Yeah. And then I and finally he said, mama.

 

01;05;12;01 – 01;05;31;07

Dr. Mona

And now it’s like the mama like that just won’t stop, mama. And it’s the best. He’s like, he wakes up in the morning and he’s like, mom. And I’m like, oh, that’s Ryan Mama. And I’m like, do you look amazing? And he’s like, mom, like he loves. And it’s just music to your ears. It’s going to happen and it can happen late.

 

01;05;31;11 – 01;05;46;01

Dr. Mona

Like it can happen, you know, later. 20 months, two years, I don’t know, but it’s going to happen and I know it will. You know, it may take some work to get there, but it brought me back to those awful nights in the nick. And I turned to my husband and I was like, he’s saying mama. Like he’s saying what I had asked them.

 

01;05;46;03 – 01;05;46;27

Dr. Mona

Is he going to say?

 

01;05;46;27 – 01;05;48;05

Sarah

And they’re going to say, mama.

 

01;05;48;07 – 01;06;04;02

Dr. Mona

Is he going to walk in? Is he going to see mama? Like, that’s what I asked. And like, is he going to chase Shiloh around? Like, that’s what I ask my team. I’m like, he needs to play with my dog like I have. He wasn’t chasing my dog in the yard and he’s getting there. You know, it took a lot of work since I’m so into development.

 

01;06;04;02 – 01;06;21;04

Dr. Mona

It took a lot of intervention with me at home, like making sure my nanny was very aware of how I need to communicate and development and all of it, like it was so vital to me that he got everything he could to have the best outcome for him. You know, it’s not like compare to anyone else. It’s literally I wanted him to thrive on his trajectory.

 

01;06;21;04 – 01;06;32;15

Dr. Mona

And I know your daughter too, but I appreciate you being on here. We could have talked for far longer, I know now, so if you aren’t, you need to email me and like keep me updated on her progress and your progress to eight. Yeah.

 

01;06;32;19 – 01;06;34;04

Sarah

Thank you so much. This was great.

 

01;06;34;07 – 01;06;50;23

Dr. Mona

Awesome. Thank you for tuning in for this week’s episode. As always, please leave a review, share this episode with a friend, share it on your social media. Make sure to follow me at PedsDocTalk on Instagram and subscribe to my YouTube channel, PedsDocTalk TV. We’ll talk to you soon.