Parents often want to talk to their kids about puberty and periods, but many don’t know where to start. In this episode, I’m joined by pediatric and adolescent gynecologist Dr. Charis Chambers to talk about how we can change the way families approach these conversations. From stigma and misinformation to the fear of saying the wrong thing, we break down why avoiding these discussions can leave kids confused, scared, or learning from the wrong sources.

We discuss how to introduce puberty and body changes in age-appropriate ways, why boys should be included in these conversations, and how parents can shift from one awkward “talk” to an ongoing dialog that builds trust. Dr. Chambers also explains the science behind periods, addresses common misconceptions about hormonal therapy, and shares powerful stories from her clinical experience that highlight why this education matters for a child’s long-term relationship with their body and health.

In this episode we discuss:

✔️ Why many kids feel scared when their first period starts

✔️ How to start puberty conversations earlier and more naturally

✔️ Why boys should learn about periods too

✔️ The difference between privacy and secrecy when talking about bodies

✔️ How stigma around periods gets passed down through generations

✔️ Why hormonal therapy is often misunderstood

✔️ How open conversations build trust between parents and kids

To connect with Dr. Charis Chambers follow her on Instagram @⁠theperioddoctor⁠, check out all her resources at ⁠https://theperioddoctor.com⁠ and buy her new book: ⁠https://www.amazon.com/Period-Puberty-Parenting-Revolution-Conversation/dp/1464233802?utm_source=ig&utm_medium=social&utm_content=link_in_bio&fbclid=PAZXh0bgNhZW0CMTEAc3J0YwZhcHBfaWQMMjU2MjgxMDQwNTU4AAGn1W3WTCmZ7O5OBTdANGfFNf3Qt3tBhR3ysalxz3dPwNe50CLKDpwfK9vbRiY_aem_POnDC67y5COyXEaA3xsKVQ⁠⁠ ⁠

00:00 Why Puberty and Period Talks Matter
02:16 Meet Dr. Charis Chambers and Her New Book
04:01 Why She Wrote The Puberty and Period Parenting Revolution
06:17 Why Kids Need to Learn About Bodies From Parents First
08:42 Is There Such a Thing as Talking Too Early About Puberty?
10:54 Why Boys Need to Be Part of Period Conversations Too
12:35 Privacy vs Secrecy, How Parents Can Normalize Periods
14:00 How Media and Shame Shape Period Stigma
18:40 Why This Needs to Be an Ongoing Conversation, Not One Talk
22:31 How to Explain Anatomy Without Making It Awkward
28:15 What Happens When Kids Are Left in the Dark About Periods
33:54 Hormonal Therapy vs Birth Control, What Parents Should Know
41:29 How to Build Trust When Parents Feel Nervous or Behind
45:05 What Dr. Charis Hopes This Book Changes for Families

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00;00;00;00 – 00;00;25;16

Dr. Charis Chambers

Cultural, conversations. And with the way periods in puberty are portrayed in the media play a huge role in how we we navigate life and what our comfort levels look like. You have to deeply interrogate the beliefs you carry, whether you form them to survive or to fit in or whatever. Yeah, to make sure that those beliefs do not have some unintentional harm.

 

00;00;25;21 – 00;00;41;22

Dr. Charis Chambers

Is that what I want my child to think? What does that tell someone like me? What did that tell me at the age of 11? Those are the questions we seriously have to ask.

 

00;00;41;25 – 00;01;02;15

Dr. Mona

Welcome back to the PedsDocTalk podcast, doctor Mona here, your online pediatrician, mom, friend and trusted confidant in all things parenting. And we have honest conversations here, you know, that help you feel more informed and confident in the everyday decisions you’re making for your children. And today’s conversation is one that is incredibly needed and I have not actually done before.

 

00;01;02;19 – 00;01;20;26

Dr. Mona

And I’m excited. Have you ever wondered when you’re actually supposed to start talking to your kids about puberty or periods? Have you worried about seeing too much, too soon, or waiting too long? Or maybe you grew up in a home where these topics were barely discussed, and now you’re trying to figure out how to do things differently for your own child.

 

00;01;20;28 – 00;01;48;23

Dr. Mona

Because the reality is, when kids don’t learn about their bodies from the adults who love them, they learn from somewhere else friends, the internet, social media, and often from sources that leave them confused, scared, or shamed. And that’s why I’m so excited for today’s guest. Today’s guest is someone that I’ve followed on social media for so long. We both started our social media platforms around the same time, and to see her grow and excel and just be able to disseminate her information just like me, is such an honor to watch.

 

00;01;48;26 – 00;02;16;22

Dr. Mona

I’m joined by Doctor Charis Chambers, a pediatric and adolescent gynecologist and author of the new book The Puberty and Period Parenting Revolution. In this conversation, we talk about how families can move away from one awkward talk and instead create ongoing conversations about bodies, puberty, and health that build trust with our kids. And we also talk about the stigma, why boys should be part of this conversation, and how the stigma around periods quietly gets passed through generations.

 

00;02;16;24 – 00;02;45;13

Dr. Mona

We also do talk about one thing that gets commonly misunderstood hormonal therapy for periods and for adolescents, which is not just birth control. It’s a therapy. And how the language we use around it can shape how families think about it. It is an incredible conversation. Remember. Subscribe. Share it. Don’t forget to do that. Let’s get into talking about the puberty and period parenting revolution.

 

00;02;45;16 – 00;02;47;13

Dr. Mona

Thank you so much for joining me today.

 

00;02;47;16 – 00;02;51;17

Dr. Charis Chambers

Thank you, Doctor Mona, for having me. I am thrilled, thrilled to be talking with you.

 

00;02;51;19 – 00;02;57;00

Dr. Mona

And so yeah, I feel like we both started our social around the same time. Remind me when you started. Yeah, I’m going online for education.

 

00;02;57;00 – 00;02;59;17

Dr. Charis Chambers

Mine was July 2019. Yeah.

 

00;02;59;19 – 00;03;07;16

Dr. Mona

So I was March 2019. Yeah, yeah. And at that point we both did not have children. You know, we both were. You were you in training at the time or.

 

00;03;07;22 – 00;03;09;21

Dr. Charis Chambers

I was in training. I was in fellowship.

 

00;03;09;23 – 00;03;11;29

Dr. Mona

Yeah. And what was your fellowship I forget, and what it.

 

00;03;11;29 – 00;03;14;05

Dr. Charis Chambers

Was pediatric and adolescent gynecology.

 

00;03;14;07 – 00;03;25;26

Dr. Mona

So, you know, Doctor Chambers is an ob gyn and then went into fellowship to focus on adolescent pediatric health. I mean, so how many years total when you look at residency and training.

 

00;03;25;29 – 00;03;28;15

Dr. Charis Chambers

Six, six years, total years.

 

00;03;28;18 – 00;03;46;14

Dr. Mona

And what a need. Okay. Like I want to say like one, I want to I think you really know why this is such a need. But pediatric training gynecologists are so needed as a fellow, as a pediatrician, a woman of color, black woman. I mean, we know that there’s so many things and I we’re going to be talking a lot about periods and puberty.

 

00;03;46;14 – 00;04;00;08

Dr. Mona

But of course, there’s so many things that I’ve seen that have been dismissed. You know, whether it’s for black patients, whether it’s in, you know, period health that just gets dismissed. And later on they have fertility issues. And I’m like, guys, pediatric pediatricians, we got to care about.

 

00;04;00;08 – 00;04;01;29

Dr. Charis Chambers

Periods and we got to do that to your.

 

00;04;01;29 – 00;04;14;18

Dr. Mona

Kids. Right. What is your tell me. Like what was your impetus to write this book, like, oh my, your online educating. I know you’re a very busy woman, but what made you say, we need to write this book? I need to be the one to do it.

 

00;04;14;21 – 00;04;29;29

Dr. Charis Chambers

Yeah. So I think there’s always a nudging within me that I wanted to write a book. I’ve always been a very observer, observational person, like, since I was like a little kid, I yeah, because I’m the third of four kids. You kind of have to observe when you’ve got older siblings, you know, because they’re going to be the ones leading the way.

 

00;04;30;01 – 00;04;51;11

Dr. Charis Chambers

So I always wanted to, to write down my thoughts in like, a, some sort of way that could be shared with others. But when I got into my fellowship and started meeting patients and speaking with them and definitely explaining things that I thought were so, so basic, like, this is what a period is. And so this is why this hormonal medicine is going to help yours.

 

00;04;51;13 – 00;05;12;18

Dr. Charis Chambers

I thought that made sense, but when I would do it, my patients were often saying, no one explains things like this. Why didn’t they just tell us that? Why doesn’t, why doesn’t you know anyone? Explain it like you just did, or things like that? Which actually made me say, there’s something to this. Conversely, I would get in trouble in my training for spending too much time with patients because I’m like, no, she doesn’t get it.

 

00;05;12;18 – 00;05;39;29

Dr. Charis Chambers

But I know she can. And I constantly believe that patients deserved the education information necessary to be able to guide their own care and partner with their doctor appropriately and collaboratively in their care. But we were often not doing. And so I knew a book was necessary because I didn’t have the time to unpack all of the things that that really impacted how parents showed up for their kids during the puberty and period years.

 

00;05;40;06 – 00;05;56;09

Dr. Charis Chambers

And I kept seeing the same heart. I kept seeing the same things that I thought were right, like, it’s best to just lie to them or just ignore it altogether. Like, if I just ignore it, then it’ll go away. No, what if I lie? Then at least I can control them. They won’t know about this thing called sex or whatever.

 

00;05;56;11 – 00;06;17;04

Dr. Charis Chambers

Yeah, there were so many things that parents were doing because they wanted what was best for their kid. They wanted to protect them, but they didn’t have the tools. And in the clinic, you don’t have the time to give them all of the tools. And so a book was necessary, and I knew, I knew by virtue of all of the amazing interactions I’ve been able to have, that I was the one to write it.

 

00;06;17;06 – 00;06;33;11

Dr. Mona

What a privilege. And what a. I’m so grateful that you’re using your expertise to bring this to life. And like I said already, like I, I think this book was needed. You know, I, I would have been your agent to be like, hey, get this book, get this book into the world because, you know, we’re going to talk about it like destigmatizing period.

 

00;06;33;16 – 00;06;52;18

Dr. Mona

Destigmatizing puberty. And I just think back to my childhood and I’m sure you can as well, too. Like, yes, the lack of information I received around puberty, sex, you know, all of these things that we and the saying goes that if we don’t teach them as the loving, connected caregiver, they’re going to get that information somewhere else and it’s going to be shitty information like, let’s have.

 

00;06;52;18 – 00;06;56;03

Dr. Charis Chambers

This perfectly stated, perfectly stated. Yes, yes.

 

00;06;56;03 – 00;07;01;13

Dr. Mona

And like I, you know, I, I don’t know how your childhood was, but my I think your, your dad is an ob gyn. Yes.

 

00;07;01;14 – 00;07;03;13

Dr. Charis Chambers

He is. What, you didn’t help.

 

00;07;03;18 – 00;07;20;22

Dr. Mona

It didn’t help. Okay. I was wondering cause I, you know, I grew up in a very conservative Indian household. When we. When it came to taboo topics, right? Yes. Alcohol, drugs, sex, you know, all these things like it was never talked about and so even periods was like, okay, like, you know, you got to do this. And it was very hush hush.

 

00;07;20;22 – 00;07;38;06

Dr. Mona

And like, my mom didn’t let me use tampons. And I was an athlete and I hated it. Terrible. You know, I love that I’m a mom now to a boy. And a girl. And I’m like, girl, let’s talk about this. I will teach you all about this. But we need we need your voice because not a lot of parents know where to start.

 

00;07;38;13 – 00;08;00;03

Dr. Charis Chambers

They don’t. That’s that is really the number one question that I get from parents. Like where do I start? Yeah. When do I start? And I think that makes perfect sense because, you know, it feels so heavy. It can feel so heavy talking about how your body is going to change and you’re just going to start bleeding, like in the context of everything, bleeding has never been normal.

 

00;08;00;03 – 00;08;25;12

Dr. Charis Chambers

So how do I normalize that when otherwise if my baby is bleeding ever, I’m going to kick and I’m going to hold them. I want to protect them. I’m so sorry that happened to you. How do you flip that narrative? What does that look like? And that’s why I always say it is important to have these conversations early and often, and to remove all of the heaviness that we bring to it, all of the heaviness, the sexualization adults, education, and even the political ization of the conversation.

 

00;08;25;15 – 00;08;39;10

Dr. Charis Chambers

If we remove that, it is just as normal as talking to your kid about their teeth falling out. That doesn’t feel very normal, right? But we do it and we say, hey, I promise you, those teeth are going to come back in. And this is a normal process and I have lived through it. And you will be okay and I’ll be with you.

 

00;08;39;14 – 00;08;42;11

Dr. Charis Chambers

We need to take that same energy to period and puberty.

 

00;08;42;13 – 00;08;59;11

Dr. Mona

I love it and a lot of parents, you know, tell me as a general pediatrician that they’re afraid of either saying too much too soon. You mentioned that they don’t know what to say or that it’s going to. They’re going to wait too long and, you know, puberty can start earlier in some children, but emotional maturity doesn’t always move at that same pace.

 

00;08;59;11 – 00;09;11;08

Dr. Mona

So how should parents think about timing these conversations? So proactive without overwhelming their child or waiting for that fifth grade, you know, sexual education class to give them like a one hour primer?

 

00;09;11;10 – 00;09;32;09

Dr. Charis Chambers

Exactly. So the biggest, tragedy, in my opinion, is when parents wait too late because then you’re setting your kid up for this situation where they see blood and they are panicked. Yeah, they don’t know what’s happening. And many of my patients say, I thought I was die because what else would they think? And so why why would we create an environment in which there is no preparation at all?

 

00;09;32;12 – 00;09;55;23

Dr. Charis Chambers

And so some preparation is better than no preparation. That’s one key takeaway. I have never really seen harm from discussing puberty and physiological changes too early. There’s no real too early. And you know your kid, right? I also tell parents that when my son, who was 15 months, looked into the sky because we live in Atlanta and she’s a plane, I say that’s an airplane.

 

00;09;55;25 – 00;10;13;23

Dr. Charis Chambers

I do not expect my baby to understand physics. Yeah, I do not expect him to understand why that plane is in the air, or how fast it’s going, or what keeps it up there. No, but I do expect him to be able to look at the world around him and guide him through observation that allows him to navigate life safely and appropriately.

 

00;10;13;26 – 00;10;30;27

Dr. Charis Chambers

So that’s how I encourage parents to bring it up, bring it up with what you’re doing already. If you’re doing toilet training and they’re already noticing that they have to wipe themselves differently from their brother, that’s an appropriate time to say, yeah, things are a little bit different and that’s okay. Or have you noticed that your cousin is a little bit older?

 

00;10;31;00 – 00;10;50;08

Dr. Charis Chambers

Yeah. Her body does look a little bit different. Or maybe when you’re in, you know, this earlier third or fourth grade, have you noticed that some of your, your friends are wearing deodorant or even starting to wear bras? What do you think about that? Let’s talk about the world around us so that we’re preparing our kids to live in the world that they’re already experiencing, that doesn’t require expertise.

 

00;10;50;08 – 00;10;54;19

Dr. Charis Chambers

It doesn’t require mastery. It does require awareness and some sort of information.

 

00;10;54;25 – 00;11;12;06

Dr. Mona

I love what you just said about your son, like making it so matter of fact. And as obviously as someone who has a parenting podcast like this is an airplane, you don’t need to know all the logistics. And, you know, it brought up something. So, you know, obviously, this book is talking about the puberty and the periods and all of that, but how important having those conversations with boys are, right?

 

00;11;12;06 – 00;11;28;05

Dr. Mona

Like you are. Yes you are, I’m sure as being in your field, you’re going to be teaching your boys about this. And I the example I give is I have a six year old son and he has seen me change a tampon. Okay. And some of you hearing this may be like, oh my God. And I’m like, no, like he’s seen me change a tampon.

 

00;11;28;12 – 00;11;44;18

Dr. Mona

I’ve explained that, you know, once a month this happens for me where I bleed out of my uterus and for my vagina, I don’t, I just use the terms. And so now that’s because every time he knocks on the door or I’m using the bathroom, he said, mom, do you have blood? Can I see? And I’m like, no, but I see this because how pure.

 

00;11;44;24 – 00;12;17;10

Dr. Mona

And I don’t usually, you know, or periods happen because then an egg is released and then, you know, the uterine lining is then shattered as he gets older. But to raise a son who understands that his mom. What a blessing to her world, right. And also his peers are going to go through this is so powerful. So what would you say to that family who may be listening to what I just said and is like, horrified that I allow my six year old son to see me change their tampon if they’re more private, if they’re culturally not, like they’ve never really talked about it, what would be that first step?

 

00;12;17;10 – 00;12;34;28

Dr. Mona

Or what would you say to them to sort of change that narrative, to normalize these conversations, whether it’s with a girl or boy? Now let’s take a quick break to hear from our sponsors who support helps us keep bringing you this show.

 

00;12;35;00 – 00;12;57;17

Dr. Charis Chambers

Yeah. So so privacy. And I think privacy is something that I don’t want to attack. Right. Privacy is important. I think it’s different distinctly from secrecy. Secrecy is like, oh, I’m holding somebody’s privacy. I’m protecting me. Right. And so if you as a parent grew up in a, in a place where your body was judged, you didn’t feel comfortable showing maybe this story, the doctor Mona’s story of my is my it is not for you.

 

00;12;57;17 – 00;13;19;24

Dr. Charis Chambers

Yeah, but but making sure that you are exposing your child to the realities of life to make them a good person, friend, colleague, boss, partner, you know, whatever that is what’s important. And so hiding the fact that over half of the population at some point is going to have a period, have a normal process, is doing them a disservice.

 

00;13;20;01 – 00;13;43;26

Dr. Charis Chambers

So I’m not asking parents to be extreme. I’m not even teaching them or telling them what their value should be. I am asking them to align their actions with the goals they have for their child, and how they want their child to show up as an email, as an adult. And so instead of thinking about this as some weird theme of discomfort and grossness and trying to gross out your kid, that is not my goal.

 

00;13;43;29 – 00;14;00;17

Dr. Charis Chambers

My goal is that you do not leave your kid in the dark so that they start to adopt the negative, you know, connotations and perceptions that society has around periods and then becomes another one of those people that perpetuates them, either onto others or onto themselves.

 

00;14;00;19 – 00;14;22;25

Dr. Mona

Speaking about those negative connotations. So like, you know, when I think about how many of us grew up, periods were often a punchline. So I don’t know if you remember the Superbad. Yeah, super bad where a girl was dancing with Jonah Hill’s character. Okay, he was in this movie and she’s dancing with him, and she leaks through her underwear and onto his pants while dancing.

 

00;14;22;25 – 00;14;41;03

Dr. Mona

And it’s made for laughs, right? So he’s, like, disgusted. He’s gagging. And I thought, you know, when I was watching that, that is the culture, a narrative that so many of us grew up, grew up with, that accidents like that are shameful. And, you know, well, I can’t believe you bled. And how many of us have been in that situation where you’ve bled through a tampon or pad, right.

 

00;14;41;09 – 00;14;42;01

Dr. Charis Chambers

All of us.

 

00;14;42;07 – 00;15;02;03

Dr. Mona

I mean, all of us. And so now periods are shown as gross, embarrassing and something to hide. And even if we don’t consciously believe that, those messages have stuck with me, too. So how does cultural messaging like that quietly shape the way parents talk about puberty? And how does that unintentional shame get passed down in our homes? And how can we fix that?

 

00;15;02;03 – 00;15;02;24

Dr. Charis Chambers

Like, oh my.

 

00;15;02;24 – 00;15;08;28

Dr. Mona

Gosh, maybe a child sees from what a parent’s hearing so we can undo this sort of stigma that you described around periods.

 

00;15;09;00 – 00;15;36;10

Dr. Charis Chambers

Yeah. So, you know, cultural, conversations. And we the way periods in puberty are portrayed in the media play a huge role in how we we navigate life and what our comfort levels look like. And the huge part of my book, there’s a whole chapter on unlearning, and it is calling out to parents that you have to deeply interrogate the beliefs you carry, whether you form them to survive or to fit in or whatever.

 

00;15;36;10 – 00;15;55;29

Dr. Charis Chambers

Yeah, to make sure that those beliefs do not have some unintentional harm. And I think that interrogation process of what do I believe? What do I believe? What was I taught? Is that real? Is that what I want my child to think? What what does that tell someone like me? What did that tell me at the age of 11?

 

00;15;56;02 – 00;16;17;11

Dr. Charis Chambers

Those are the questions we seriously have to ask. And when we start asking those questions, we can then if we challenge ourselves, start to challenge the world around us in front of our kids. And so let’s say that for whatever reason, you were watching Superbad with your pre-teen, maybe you can pause and and say, now, what did you think about that scenario?

 

00;16;17;13 – 00;16;35;27

Dr. Charis Chambers

What was that with that? Funny. Yeah. How do you think that girl felt? And so it’s calling in emotional intelligence and awareness into scenarios where they didn’t have that conversation. You know, in Superbad that wasn’t that wasn’t their goal. But I am sure as a parent, we always introduce that. And they these are the unintentional harms of this.

 

00;16;36;04 – 00;16;48;11

Dr. Charis Chambers

This is what’s missing. This is why it’s not good enough to just get laughs from something. Something comedic doesn’t make it okay. And I hold you to a higher standard. I hold myself to a higher standard. And we will not be this way in this life.

 

00;16;48;17 – 00;17;07;26

Dr. Mona

So beautiful. And you know, it seems so simple. Like, I love talking to you because of course, like I said, I’m a I’m a parenting obsessed person, like I loved. Yeah, I love talking about. And so all of this but all of this seems so obvious, right? Like you’re like, just you don’t have to have all the perfect scripts you don’t need.

 

00;17;07;26 – 00;17;25;24

Dr. Mona

All you have to do is show compassion and willingness to rewrite what you’ve already known, because you want to improve for your traveling. I know that I don’t want my daughter to feel how I felt, being shamed, not being able to use a tampon, all the things right? And also, I don’t want my son to be raised like a lot of my peers that are men.

 

00;17;25;25 – 00;17;43;22

Dr. Mona

Yes, Indian men that I knew growing up that were so stigmatized, like, like so much stigma around periods. And, you know, I’m actually teaching my husband how to undo some of that, too, because he he’s like, why are you showing your son? Why are you showing Ryan? Like, I’m like, because Ryan needs to know that this is something that happens.

 

00;17;43;22 – 00;18;04;17

Dr. Mona

I’m not forcing him to see it. I’m not dragging him into the bathroom against you guys will come in here and look at my temper. You know, it’s curiosity and, like. And you have, like with parenting, it’s about taking the curiosity, running with it, trying to that you know what to say without worrying so much about. Did I just do that right.

 

00;18;04;20 – 00;18;06;03

Dr. Charis Chambers

Yes. That’s perfect. Yeah.

 

00;18;06;05 – 00;18;07;23

Dr. Mona

You can always repair. You can always. Yeah.

 

00;18;07;28 – 00;18;26;20

Dr. Charis Chambers

Oh, and that’s why the early and often thing is you have more time for repair recalibration if you start early. And that’s the part that I want parents to not be so afraid about. This is not striking. While the iron is hot. It’s not one of those things. You have continual fellowship and communication with your child. Use it.

 

00;18;26;22 – 00;18;40;10

Dr. Charis Chambers

And as you grow, let them grow too. This is dynamic. There is no endpoint. It is not like some finish line where it’s like, okay, you have to show up. No, this is a continual process, but do not leave your child behind during this process.

 

00;18;40;12 – 00;18;56;25

Dr. Mona

And I love the title of your book. I know going all the work that goes into writing a title for a book, well, you chatted about that because I’m in the process of writing my book, and I’m sure the title may change 100 times before it actually debuts. But I love the term that you talked about parenting revolution, a period parenting revolution.

 

00;18;57;01 – 00;19;15;22

Dr. Mona

You know, many of us grew up with one awkward talk. We discussed a book left on the bed. You know, like maybe it’s a Beverly Cleary book or total silence, you know? So you’re calling this a parenting revolution. What specifically needs to shift? So puberty becomes an ongoing develop mentally appropriate dialog instead of a one time conversation? Yeah.

 

00;19;15;22 – 00;19;35;08

Dr. Charis Chambers

So I think we got those one time conversations, if at all. Because we grew up in a time in which there wasn’t as much access to information, right? There wasn’t as much right in your face, and certainly there was a kind of an understanding that your school was going to at least touch on it. Right. Times have changed.

 

00;19;35;08 – 00;19;58;18

Dr. Charis Chambers

Yeah, they have changed drastically. And the political climate that we are in is one that is showing, and trending towards efforts that limit that discussion more and more and push it later in later. And so that would negatively affect those folks that get their periods early. They start puberty earlier that look like us, that are brown and black girls who tend to start before their white counterparts.

 

00;19;58;20 – 00;20;23;12

Dr. Charis Chambers

And so what we’re seeing is a shift that is going to disproportionately affect a certain group of people, which is already a problem. But we also are seeing that if parents don’t do it, as you mentioned so beautifully earlier, it’s going to get done. And that opportunity, in the ways in which it can get done today are so, so much more sinister and so much more daunting than it was before.

 

00;20;23;14 – 00;20;50;22

Dr. Charis Chambers

With our access to smartphones, get folks getting their kids smartphone by the age of like 10 or 11, that means they have access to this entire world. And so the revolution aspect is a suggestion that we need to have an intentional effort to reclaim this conversation, to reclaim the influence that parents have as the primary caregivers, as those who know our children better than anyone else, as those who love our kids and would protect them more than anyone on this planet.

 

00;20;50;29 – 00;20;58;13

Dr. Charis Chambers

To be the ones to guide this conversation and not leave it up to chance. That’s why it needs to be revolutionary. Because it’s that serious.

 

00;20;58;19 – 00;21;18;12

Dr. Mona

I love that you are putting this in the control of the parent, because in the end, that’s what I think every parent wants, but they don’t know what to do. And you said it beautifully. I don’t want a school teaching my kid about this stuff. I appreciate the schools for what they do. And when it comes to very personal things like body, body image, you know, sex, things like that, I want to be able to teach them.

 

00;21;18;12 – 00;21;19;03

Dr. Mona

But like.

 

00;21;19;05 – 00;21;19;13

Dr. Charis Chambers

To your.

 

00;21;19;13 – 00;21;34;07

Dr. Mona

Point, a lot of us and maybe a lot of our listeners, I would hope my listeners are not like this, but would need to kind of undo a lot of the stigma they carry around these things. Right? In order for us to actually teach them in a way that they need, we have to say, you know what, that and serve me.

 

00;21;34;07 – 00;21;37;22

Dr. Mona

Well. I did not like that. And I want to do different by my kid.

 

00;21;37;24 – 00;21;53;27

Dr. Charis Chambers

I want to do different. And and I want to just kind of interject and say, it is not that I don’t want schools to try, but the responsibility is mine. Just like the responsibility that my kid is literate and functional is. Mom. Yes, yes, I’m sending them to school. But if he doesn’t do his homework, it doesn’t learn to read.

 

00;21;53;27 – 00;22;14;03

Dr. Charis Chambers

That is on me. And so it is a collaborative approach, but I’m the one who can form it with my values and with what I know specific to my child. This custom made, love bathed approach that the school is not necessarily able to do and isn’t funded to do. It isn’t really meant to do. And so I don’t want to start necessarily, but I want to tap it.

 

00;22;14;03 – 00;22;31;18

Dr. Mona

Yeah. And I mean that goes for so many different areas. Like you said, you brought up reading beautifully. You talked about all like, you know, bullying, being being the bully, being bullied. Like all of those conversations are being carried home. And it starts with parents being comfortable with having the difficult conversations. And for all of you listening, remember what we’re both saying.

 

00;22;31;18 – 00;22;49;07

Dr. Mona

You don’t have to be an expert at knowing what to say. And like that leads me to my next question, which I’m I’m curious how you’ve approached this, maybe in your office, but parents have often asked me, like, how do I explain anatomy? You know, you alluded to like how bodies can look different. Maybe a girl is going through puberty a little earlier than a peer.

 

00;22;49;10 – 00;22;56;25

Dr. Mona

How do you explain anatomy without turning it into a full biology lecture? And maybe how have you done that in the office, or have you had to do that?

 

00;22;56;25 – 00;23;15;07

Dr. Charis Chambers

Oh my gosh, it is my favorite thing. I explain anatomy at every new patient is that I actually have a little uterus that’s not dissimilar to this. And you will see in my life I have so many uteri around me involve my husband, just like, what do I do with it? Because if people don’t see it, you cannot expect them to understand it.

 

00;23;15;12 – 00;23;30;18

Dr. Charis Chambers

Yeah, and even in my book I have diagrams for this very reason, because I want parents to be able to see it. And if you type in uterus, you know, on Google, you can get all sorts of things. So I want to, you know, especially don’t don’t even start on vulva. So you want to make sure you’re giving them something that is not to advance.

 

00;23;30;18 – 00;23;47;26

Dr. Charis Chambers

It’s easy to actually see it. So I like very simple diagrams that are labeled, but I hold one in my hand and say these are reproductive structures. This is a uterus. It looks like an upside down light bulb in that kind of you. Right. And at the bottom of it is the cervix. That’s the door to the uterus that would dilate.

 

00;23;47;26 – 00;24;18;14

Dr. Charis Chambers

So ten centimeters when a baby’s about to be delivered badly, you know, when they’re like she’s ten. What. Yeah I do know that okay. Yeah. Like and then that connects to the vagina. Fun fact the vaginas on the inside entirely. When you’re talking about the outside, that’s the vulva. Okay. And I say okay on both sides of the uterus with that fallopian tube, they look like little pigtails, but they’re actually tubes in their whole job is to pick up eggs from the ovaries, these little oval, shell shaped structures on both sides that is inside your body.

 

00;24;18;17 – 00;24;39;19

Dr. Charis Chambers

And that is what’s changing when you have a period. That is my literally my exact haul track that I present in my clinic. And the parents are like, wow. And the kids like, okay. Like it makes so much more sense to put them in actual life size version, because this is what’s happening. And when you have pain, the lining of the uterus is releasing inflammatory markers.

 

00;24;39;20 – 00;24;56;29

Dr. Charis Chambers

It’s causing cramping. And I’m so sorry, but that’s why we’re going to try some anti-inflammatory. Doesn’t that make sense. They’re like oh yes. So now you’ve got the kid on board. You have an assumed any level of health literacy from the parent in the parent. So very likely learning at the same time. So I think anatomy can be taught.

 

00;24;56;29 – 00;25;23;00

Dr. Charis Chambers

But it doesn’t have to be crazy. I’d say uterus, cervix, vagina, tube, ovaries. That’s it. Because they are critical to the process. We don’t have to get into, you know, ligaments and blood supply and yeah, no that’s crazy. But I do think understanding those specific structures is key to understanding your body. If someone is bleeding, they need to understand those structures.

 

00;25;23;03 – 00;25;44;12

Dr. Mona

Now let’s take a quick break to hear from our sponsors who support helps us keep bringing you this show. Oh, I love it. And again, we have to normalize saying the words, you know, there’s we don’t need pet names for the Volvo for the vagina. And you know, the thing I use is that if we’re not making pet names for ears and nose, why are we making names for our genitals?

 

00;25;44;12 – 00;25;46;19

Dr. Mona

Yes, it is change stigma, right?

 

00;25;46;19 – 00;26;07;14

Dr. Charis Chambers

It is teaching. It is perpetuating stigma just by doing that, just by saying, you know, instead of saying no because you don’t say you’re you’re smaller, like, no. You know, it’s like, why would you do that? That is so weird. Right? And so the ways in which we perpetuate stigma are not glaring. They’re not even always negative, but they’re still perpetuating stigma.

 

00;26;07;17 – 00;26;25;07

Dr. Mona

Yeah. And I mean, we’re talking about obviously periods and reclaiming puberty and all of that. But this conversation always can go into safety in the future. Right? All of you, all of them that I’ve had conversations before about why we need to teach our children anatomical names, I’m going to give a shout out to one of my fellow pediatricians, Doctor Krupa.

 

00;26;25;07 – 00;26;44;08

Dr. Mona

Play fourth. She created a she wrote a book, about but boundaries and about body parts. And in the in the book she has it’s a meant for kids. It has images of a penis, like, obviously, animated and images of a vulva vagina and how some boys are circumcised, some boys are not. And I think it’s fabulous.

 

00;26;44;08 – 00;27;04;01

Dr. Mona

And then I read the reviews because I was going to leave a review because I’m a good friend and I love her, and some of them are like, it’s not appropriate for children. And I like I changed my review to be like this book from a fellow pediatrician is what kids need. They’re it’s not too early to talk about how genitals, what genitals look like because they have them.

 

00;27;04;05 – 00;27;08;23

Dr. Charis Chambers

Because they have them like they literally have. Yes.

 

00;27;08;25 – 00;27;23;01

Dr. Mona

And so I have to message. I don’t even know. I haven’t even met her that I did that. But I was like, so I was actually like a really upset that people wrote that review. And I’m like, it’s not like you, actually. You’re the one who probably needs this book for your child because they need to learn it from you.

 

00;27;23;03 – 00;27;38;09

Dr. Charis Chambers

Yeah. Do you know what my favorite my favorite question to ask in those scenarios when they say this is inappropriate. And I would say, why? Why is it inappropriate? And then they might say something like, well, they shouldn’t be looking at something like that. Like, what do you think? They don’t look at their own body so, well, it’s time for them to look at their own body.

 

00;27;38;13 – 00;28;00;19

Dr. Charis Chambers

What is this teaching them about their own body. Does that help? You know, like, yeah, I always ask questions because as I ask questions that the curiosity that comes with that, it tends to get to the core of it. And it’s almost always this either glorification bias that’s being applied to a child who has no context on that, or sexualization that is not a part of the context of the child either.

 

00;28;00;19 – 00;28;15;03

Dr. Charis Chambers

It is something that we as adults are bringing into this conversation and thereby ruining it and tainting it with our own world and with our own trauma, and with our own stigma that we haven’t worked through. That’s why that is so important to start.

 

00;28;15;05 – 00;28;34;08

Dr. Mona

I agree, and, you know, you talked already about, you mentioned like a story that some of your patients had said to you, like, I thought I was dying when the period started. I think any other like I mean, I get it, we can say it in our head. We’re like, oh my gosh, poor girl. But like, if they’ve never heard heard of that or seen that, obviously it’s going to be terrifying.

 

00;28;34;08 – 00;28;49;22

Dr. Mona

Are there any other examples of like conversations that you’ve had that you were like, oh my gosh, this is I’ve committed to write this book, you know, because people or teenagers had a whether it’s about hormones or periods or something that you’re like, oh no, honey, like, we need to talk about this.

 

00;28;49;29 – 00;29;08;18

Dr. Charis Chambers

So many things. So, one in my book, I do start each chapter with like, kind of like a composite clinical, anecdote, that comes with, you know, years of experience and no one patient obviously is represented in each anecdote, but it gives these real life examples. So it does feel more tangible and real, which I think is good.

 

00;29;08;18 – 00;29;29;20

Dr. Charis Chambers

Yeah. So, for example, I was talking, on Instagram asking folks about, experiences of getting a first period with their dad where around their moms work. And one of my followers said that her dad told her to put her legs up in the air until her mother came home. Oh my gosh. And she was like, well, it didn’t help that.

 

00;29;29;22 – 00;29;49;25

Dr. Charis Chambers

And she was with us. He had no idea. Yeah, gosh, I had another story. This was when I was doing the documentary and the, the mom was sharing her first period story, and she said that she hid it from her mom for a year because she, her mom had told her that when she got her period, everything was going to change, like all the stuff.

 

00;29;49;28 – 00;30;05;03

Dr. Charis Chambers

And so because she didn’t want life to change in her relationship with her mom to change, she hid it. And when her mom found out the relationship did change, she said that her mom stopped calling her her like pet name for her mom. It was like things shifted at the drop of the hat. And that is why I.

 

00;30;05;09 – 00;30;35;23

Dr. Charis Chambers

One of my pet peeves, when it comes to period discussions, is the misconception that you are now a woman. Yeah, that kills me. And yeah, and I get from a cultural standpoint, some of the distinctions culturally that apply to that. But the narrative, the word choice that you have ceased to become my child, to be my child or to be a girl, and you are now thrust into womanhood because your body decided to bleed, is one of the most harmful narratives that we don’t even recognize.

 

00;30;35;26 – 00;30;51;13

Dr. Charis Chambers

And so a lot of the story I hear, some of them are kind of comical and just like, oh my goodness, like the legs up in the air. One some of them were just like you, poor dear. Like I thought I would die. And then there’s some that, like, tug at your heartstrings. Like I didn’t want to tell my mother because I knew she would change.

 

00;30;51;15 – 00;30;52;24

Dr. Charis Chambers

Like, what does that mean?

 

00;30;52;26 – 00;31;06;24

Dr. Mona

And do you feel like that’s important that we don’t do that? Because it again, we talked earlier about that emotional maturity doesn’t doesn’t excel as fast as the maturity that they’re just not ready to be a woman. And they don’t know what that means, that that can be scary for them.

 

00;31;06;27 – 00;31;26;16

Dr. Charis Chambers

Terrified going to be terrifying. And it can even promote this like almost association from your body. Like my body is changing, but I am not attached to it. And so I don’t connect with this changing body and so much so because of how people are responding to this body, I’m further detaching myself. Because that’s what the brain must do.

 

00;31;26;16 – 00;31;50;28

Dr. Charis Chambers

And it is so hard. And these, these processes that happen so early impact how folks navigate their entire reproductive health life journey like into childbearing, into intimacy, into perimenopause and menopause. This detach from my body never does what I want it to do. We are adversarial in nature. Our relationship is at odds. That whole.

 

00;31;50;28 – 00;32;17;19

Dr. Mona

Horrible. And I just love that you mentioned that this isn’t just about puberty, right? This is this is about the future of a woman, like. Right. And you mentioned the word intimacy. You mentioned the word obviously, like, childbearing. This is why this matters. Like I actually think a lot about intimacy. And my husband and I have chatted a lot about it and how the lack of discussion about all of these things is a lot of the reason why people are having really bad sex.

 

00;32;17;21 – 00;32;21;24

Dr. Charis Chambers

Really bad. Like, I’m like this make life better in so many ways if we.

 

00;32;21;24 – 00;32;31;12

Dr. Mona

Because we’re not in tune, right? Like and you’re just not like if you’re shaming a little girl not to try to be in tune with their body, how are they going to advocate for what they want in intimacy?

 

00;32;31;14 – 00;32;53;06

Dr. Charis Chambers

And that’s another point I highlight to my teen parents, especially when they’re like, well, she doesn’t need to know all that. You are saying that your daughter’s knowledge about their body, her body literature literacy is contingent on whether she’s partnered in a relationship that you approve of, so that her understanding her body is only for the pleasure and enjoyment of someone else.

 

00;32;53;09 – 00;32;58;15

Dr. Charis Chambers

Not for protection, not for safety, not for herself, but for someone else. And you think that makes sense?

 

00;32;58;18 – 00;33;01;18

Dr. Mona

Yeah, it does not that she does it.

 

00;33;01;23 – 00;33;19;25

Dr. Charis Chambers

Right? Right. It does. It makes it so. So that that kills me too, because. And it makes my job hard as a pediatric and adolescent gynecologist, because there’s stigma that the only reason you’d be taking your child to see a doctor like me, because they must be doing something they shouldn’t be doing, they must be promiscuous. It must be about sexual activity or birth control.

 

00;33;20;00 – 00;33;44;21

Dr. Charis Chambers

No, as you so eloquently stated, they have the part and anytime you have the parts, issues can occur just like a baby can have, you know, issues from a cardiac standpoint, it doesn’t mean that they had some they were a smoker their whole life or is something that causes it is oftentimes when they were born with or things that happened, any time you possess the parts, you have issues with those parts.

 

00;33;44;23 – 00;33;54;12

Dr. Charis Chambers

And so seeing a doctor like myself does not mean that there was some behavioral issue that promoted, you know, the need for my care ever. And I hate that stigma.

 

00;33;54;12 – 00;33;57;19

Dr. Mona

And I believe that you talk about birth control in the book. Right?

 

00;33;57;21 – 00;33;58;10

Dr. Charis Chambers

I sure do.

 

00;33;58;12 – 00;34;16;16

Dr. Mona

Yeah. And so, you know, I’m happy because there’s obviously a lot of noise online about hormones, periods and even birth control. And you even you’ve already mentioned this term, there’s a lot of political, you know, things happening to try to remove access for birth control. And you know, obviously, we want to allow the education to shine through and support of the of the girl.

 

00;34;16;23 – 00;34;29;11

Dr. Mona

Why was that important for you to include? And how can families sort of introduce this topic in a way that’s sort of aligns with their values, but also, you know, supports the child? You know, obviously for what’s happening.

 

00;34;29;13 – 00;34;48;21

Dr. Charis Chambers

Yeah. So, I mean, because I am a provider that uses birth control and I call it hormonal therapy, largely, unless we’re actually trying to prevent pregnancy. Because that’s like calling, you know, Tylenol, you know, an antipyretic or whatever. It’s like, well, actually, it depends on what you’re using it for. Some people use it to treat fever, some people use to treat a headache.

 

00;34;48;24 – 00;35;21;14

Dr. Charis Chambers

But if I take it for my headache, it doesn’t mean I have a fever. The same way, if I’m using hormonal therapy to treatments very severe period pain, it doesn’t mean they’re necessarily sexually active. And so part of it is the recasting of birth control as medicine. Yeah. As hormonal therapy as medicine that is a part of the tool belt that is necessary to appropriately treat your daughter or treat your child, or anyone who has period related issues that respond very appropriately based on physiology and physiology to hormones.

 

00;35;21;16 – 00;35;41;12

Dr. Charis Chambers

And so when people are like, well, why do you have to use hormones? Well, why do you have to use insulin for diabetes? Because that’s how your body works. You can’t make I can’t circumvent your body. Your body told me that hormones are the pathway that trigger what your period. Does. It dictate how long it lasts when it starts, and all those things so that that’s what we’re going to use to make this better.

 

00;35;41;14 – 00;36;06;01

Dr. Charis Chambers

And so it’s a reframing of that conversation and showing a ton of legitimate reasons why we use birth control in younger populations, like menstrual suppression in my patients that have cognitive delay or any type of meaningful mental or physical harm over, you know, helping to manage, seizures in patients with epilepsy that have cademy annual seizures that are worsened by their periods.

 

00;36;06;06 – 00;36;29;18

Dr. Charis Chambers

Like there’s so many things that affect your period and that your periods affect and that hormonal and hormonal therapy are useful for. So casting it as birth control that can only be used by some precocious teenager that is doing stuff they shouldn’t be doing, misses a major opportunity to show up for your child appropriately, and that’s why it had to be in this book.

 

00;36;29;20 – 00;36;47;04

Dr. Mona

Now let’s take a quick break to hear from our sponsors who support helps us keep bringing you this show. And you know, I think we talked about, I think a lot of parents think that by having the conversation is encouraging the behavior which is further from the furthest from what.

 

00;36;47;07 – 00;36;51;22

Dr. Charis Chambers

If that were the case? Then we could talk about being a road scholar and our kids would be right.

 

00;36;51;22 – 00;36;53;13

Dr. Mona

Like we don’t have that influence.

 

00;36;53;13 – 00;36;54;27

Dr. Charis Chambers

So sorry.

 

00;36;55;00 – 00;37;11;08

Dr. Mona

I think again, when we talk to I mean, the common thread here is that if you’re not talking about it, they’re going to learn from they’re going to learn about it from absolutely mad account on social media, or a partner that isn’t isn’t knowledgeable. Right. Like, I mean, right. There’s a lot of people that don’t know, like we’ve, we’ve talked about, and can actually manipulate and, and hurt that person.

 

00;37;11;08 – 00;37;13;14

Dr. Mona

You are in control as a parent. Everybody.

 

00;37;13;16 – 00;37;33;20

Dr. Charis Chambers

Yeah. Exactly. Exactly. And when you withhold these things, your kid starts to say, my my parent didn’t tell me something. There was I can’t trust them fully. Or when you tell them untruths or lied to them, they start to find out because we have access to a ton of information like, wow, they’re not a credible source. I’ve got to look elsewhere.

 

00;37;33;22 – 00;37;44;27

Dr. Charis Chambers

So do not sabotage your credibility by lying or misrepresenting the truth. You know, tell them that to the best of your ability, what you have so that they trust you and continue to come to you when they do have questions.

 

00;37;45;00 – 00;38;02;24

Dr. Mona

This is music to my ears. I, I have a pot. I’m like, doing like a heart little a heart sign for anyone who’s not not watching. But, you know, one of my favorite solo podcast episodes I’ve done is talking about the three things that every kid needs and it’s safety, trust and connection. And this is part of the the safety and trust component.

 

00;38;02;24 – 00;38;20;04

Dr. Mona

Right. Safe. Absolutely. Being able to ask questions, trust to knowing that your caregiver is going to do what they say and follow through, you know, and this is part of this, you know, example. I’m curious, you know, I’m so glad that you included the hormonal therapy. And thank you so much for that reframe. I love that terminology.

 

00;38;20;06 – 00;38;41;00

Dr. Mona

Hormonal therapy versus birth control is exactly how we should be describing it. Yes. What if what are some misconceptions you’ve heard, in your practice or maybe do you address in your book? What I’ve kind of read online is a lot of people are afraid of hormonal therapy, aka birth control for anyone who’s not familiar. And that it can cause fertility issues down the line, which we both know is not true.

 

00;38;41;00 – 00;38;41;22

Dr. Mona

But what have you said?

 

00;38;41;22 – 00;39;14;27

Dr. Charis Chambers

That is number one. That’s the number one concern that’s brought up. And so I love addressing it. I do like to make sure that I hold space for the historically valid distrust that certain populations have of the medical system as it relates to fertility. Right. There is a history in this country of misrepresentation of what medicine was or what surgery was, where fertility was stolen or negatively impacted, and that wasn’t shared until instead of acting like I’m oblivious to it, I acknowledge it as a you know what?

 

00;39;14;27 – 00;39;37;20

Dr. Charis Chambers

I’m fully aware that this medical system has done some things where birth control is presented with crazy side effects. All of these things or, procedures, you know, we’re we’re done. We’re a hysterectomy was performed and that wasn’t disclosed. I get that, and I fully understand why it is so important to you to protect fertility. As a matter of fact, that’s why I’m talk to you about this medicine.

 

00;39;37;23 – 00;39;59;19

Dr. Charis Chambers

Because I’m worried your daughter has endometriosis, and that actually does impact neutral fertility. And this medicine can prevent its progression, thereby actually protecting her fertility. Or I’m worried that this is actually going to worsen things or things of that nature. So what is real? What is imagined, and how can I validate all of that? That you make a decision that feels good for you?

 

00;39;59;21 – 00;40;20;11

Dr. Charis Chambers

I am not paid by birth control companies. I didn’t invent it. And that that doesn’t serve me. What serves me is that you use all of the tools that you can to support your child. I also, site study. It’s my favorite to say, hey, there’s actually a study done that looked at birth control users in those who never use birth control, and looked at how long it took them to conceive in a year.

 

00;40;20;11 – 00;40;45;16

Dr. Charis Chambers

And 80% were pregnant within both groups, which shows that there isn’t continued. Fertility issues. Also, I use birth control when I was freezing my eggs because my fertility doctors, whose whole job was to allow me to to get pregnant to actually freezes. I knew that birth control would not harm that possibility. But talk to me about whatever you’ve experienced or who you’ve talked to, where you feel like this is a little more legitimate concern.

 

00;40;45;22 – 00;41;01;18

Dr. Charis Chambers

You might say, well, my sister, she had PCOS and she started birth control early. And then when it was time for her to get pregnant, she got off of those pills and she still had issues. Yeah, because she had PCOS. Yeah. And this is not a cure. Much like. And I always talk about other measures. I take blood pressure myself.

 

00;41;01;18 – 00;41;24;04

Dr. Charis Chambers

I stop taking you. Don’t you know my blood pressure is going to go where it sure is, because it was never meant to be in the first place. So my blood pressure medicine doesn’t cause hypertension. It was managing it. And when I took it away, it came back because I stopped the management tool. And so reframing in actually validating these concerns instead of saying that’s absurd, that is how you grow trust.

 

00;41;24;04 – 00;41;29;01

Dr. Charis Chambers

And that’s how you can, you know, guide people to make the decisions that’s actually informed by facts instead of fear.

 

00;41;29;06 – 00;41;46;04

Dr. Mona

You know what I love about you? Do you know that I love you? I don’t know if I can say that, but you know, what I love is that to meet other creators, doctors who? And I find this to be true of a lot of people who go online because we don’t go online if we’re not like this, but to hold such compassion for the patient and good education.

 

00;41;46;04 – 00;42;06;10

Dr. Mona

Like, that’s what I just heard from what you just said, right? You held that hand of that parent. You were like, hey, I understand where you’re coming from. I want to explain to you what I’m doing for your child and why it’s not what’s going to happen. Right? Like, we’ve lost so much of that in health care. And I think you would agree to that just because of insurance companies reimbursement time with our patients.

 

00;42;06;10 – 00;42;15;10

Dr. Mona

But kudos to you for doing that, striving to do that, but also creating a book that can continue to do that. Yes, generations to come. I just love it.

 

00;42;15;12 – 00;42;37;20

Dr. Charis Chambers

No. And I think one thank you for that. But the problem and the reason people turn to social media and turn to so many other sources outside of professionals like ourselves, is because those conversations don’t happen enough. They are made to feel silly or paranoid or, I don’t know, illogical when they have real concerns. So you’re a parent?

 

00;42;37;20 – 00;42;55;19

Dr. Charis Chambers

Oh my God, I would never want you to give your child something that you thought could harm the fertility and until you feel good about it, I want you to give it to them. I don’t want you to agree to my plan if I haven’t made you feel good about this plan. And so I always say, until you feel good, I don’t feel good.

 

00;42;55;21 – 00;43;02;03

Dr. Charis Chambers

It is not a checkmark for me. I want you to be on board. It is a fully on board and therefore true informed consent. It.

 

00;43;02;06 – 00;43;17;05

Dr. Mona

And that is the revolution. I feel that’s what we’re doing here I love it I mean, you know, for the parent listening who feels behind or anxious about getting it right, I know we’ve discussed different strategies, but what would be the first place you tell them to start today after listening to this and getting your book?

 

00;43;17;05 – 00;43;38;22

Dr. Charis Chambers

Yeah. So really good parents do not worry about being behind. They’re not anxious about how they show up only. Good. You know, I’m sorry. Bad parents. You know, only good parents worry about being anxious or worry about being behind. Yeah. That speaks to an inherent desire to do what is best for your child. So just that nudging in your spirit shows that your heart is in the right place.

 

00;43;38;28 – 00;43;57;07

Dr. Charis Chambers

You are on the right track and your your desires are aligned. Start small. Start with you. Start with unpack. What did I learn? What did I not learn? What do I say? I have questions about? What do I feel so uncertain about that it might draw me to tears? What is a sensitive point? What do I need to work through?

 

00;43;57;07 – 00;44;19;04

Dr. Charis Chambers

Maybe even through therapy, maybe through meditation, maybe through all sorts of different processes to make sure that you heal the inner child in you, that you can show up for your child. A lot of a show short for our kids with just the scraps we have because life takes so much from us. But if we can show up in our best selves, that is how we positively impact our kids.

 

00;44;19;04 – 00;44;43;03

Dr. Charis Chambers

So instead of feeling anxious about being too late, today is always the best start. It is always better than tomorrow. And if you continue to show up over and over again, you have time to repair, to recalibrate and to restore. So. So don’t be afraid. Don’t be afraid. Because you will definitely be better at educating your child in this world than the internet, than whatever else.

 

00;44;43;05 – 00;44;44;05

Dr. Charis Chambers

Is the alternative.

 

00;44;44;05 – 00;45;05;05

Dr. Mona

So here, here, I mean, you can write my parenting book with me because that is it. That is it. I mean, I’m just so in love with that. And again, it just applies to so many different aspects beyond what we’re talking about. And again, I think that’s this discussion about period puberty, revolution, the revolution that I see in you is that you’re changing the sort of narrative and narrative on how we discuss difficult things with our kids.

 

00;45;05;05 – 00;45;19;29

Dr. Mona

They don’t have to be difficult. What does success actually look like for people reading your book, like in, let’s say, in five years? You know, your book is on the market, people are grabbing it. What do you hope that they feel after starting that book and finishing it and closing the back cover?

 

00;45;20;01 – 00;45;54;05

Dr. Charis Chambers

Yeah. So above all, I hope that they feel safe in saying, I hope that my book doesn’t make anyone feel excluded or incapable or inconvenient. That is so, so important to me to always speak to like the margins, because I feel like if we speak to those who are marginalized, we include the folks in the middle. I want the people that have been forgotten in these conversations, the ones who felt like they were not sure or not, the right fit to feel like they are the right fit, to feel empowered to show up.

 

00;45;54;07 – 00;46;13;25

Dr. Charis Chambers

I want there to be more conversation around puberty and period. I want parents to be healed. I want to say, you know what? This. I read this book to show up for my kid, but now I show better for myself. I show up at my doctor’s office with more information. I now can model to them what a good doctor patient relationship looks like.

 

00;46;13;27 – 00;46;40;12

Dr. Charis Chambers

I want it to to be a book that people share and give to anyone who knows anyone who influences, impacts, or guides someone with a period. This is not just for parents. This can be for grandparents, for aunts, uncles, cousins, coaches, school nurses. It can be for anyone who wants to see a better tomorrow. And I genuinely believe that reproductive liberation is how we make tomorrow better for this generation and for generations to come.

 

00;46;40;15 – 00;47;02;25

Dr. Mona

I love it. Thank you so much. I again, I’m just motivated. I have already been doing this work, but I’m just excited to read this book just so that I can continue to do the work with your voice, with me. You know, like obviously with your expertise, I know I’m going to learn something. You know, I, I know that because that’s the thing about fellow creators and fellow people who are in their niche and in their specialty.

 

00;47;03;01 – 00;47;11;00

Dr. Mona

So thank you for for doing this. I can’t wait for so many people to read the book. Where can people go to stay connected with all the work that you’re doing and also get the book?

 

00;47;11;03 – 00;47;31;20

Dr. Charis Chambers

Yeah. So you can follow me, of course, on Instagram at the period doctor, also on TikTok at the period doctor. And then my website is the period doctor.com. On my website, you can click and actually subscribe to my newsletter where you will get updates about my book. You can order the book, preorder it now actually on Amazon, Barnes Noble, all sorts of stores, wherever they sell books.

 

00;47;31;24 – 00;47;37;18

Dr. Charis Chambers

If you type in the the period and puberty period revolution, you’ll be able to find my book.

 

00;47;37;21 – 00;47;55;04

Dr. Mona

And everybody if you love this conversation, which I would be shocked if you didn’t, please make sure you hit that thumbs up sign, subscribe to the channel, ask any questions you have in the comment section. Maybe after chambers can come back on my show any. But I also love this conversation. Grab the book and I had alluded to this.

 

00;47;55;04 – 00;48;08;10

Dr. Mona

Leave a positive review. You know, wherever you can. Leave reviews for the books. That really helps authors. And I would love to support, you know, this book as it reaches so many more people. Thank you so much for joining me. I’m so glad you finally got to connect.

 

00;48;08;17 – 00;48;16;11

Dr. Charis Chambers

Likewise. You are lovely. I learned so much from you and I’d be happy to return to chat again.

 

00;48;16;13 – 00;48;39;12

Dr. Mona

I told you that this was an important conversation and she is starting this revolution, and I just really enjoyed connecting with her. She just had so many great take home points, and one thing that really stayed with me from my discussion was the way she reframed birth control as hormonal therapy. And as a clinician, that language shift really stuck with me because for many kids and teens, these medications aren’t about preventing pregnancy at all.

 

00;48;39;18 – 00;49;03;06

Dr. Mona

They’re about treating painful periods, managing symptoms, and supporting overall health. And I think that reframe is so necessary. But the bigger message from today’s episode is this as parents, we have this incredible opportunity to shape the narrative. Our children learn about their bodies, and if we do not have these conversations, someone else will. And that information may come with stigma, shame, or misinformation.

 

00;49;03;08 – 00;49;22;27

Dr. Mona

So my hope for you, after listening to this episode is that it encourages you to start those conversations, even if they feel imperfect. We both said this. The goal isn’t to say the right thing is to start talking and be open to understanding and challenge some of the old beliefs or discomfort many of you may have grown up with.

 

00;49;22;29 – 00;49;48;24

Dr. Mona

Because when we shift the narratives, we create a healthier, more informed future for our kids. If you love this episode, you know the drill. Subscribe to the podcast, download it, and I’d also love for you to share this episode on your social media tag PedsDocTalk tag the PedsDocTalk podcast, and our guest doctor Charis Chambers at the Period Doctor so more families can hear this conversation and get on our social comment on the videos that we’ve posted today.

 

00;49;48;29 – 00;50;07;24

Dr. Mona

And make sure that you share it so that more people can discover the show and this important conversation. Thank you all so much for being here and for continuing to show up for your kids with curious openness, love, and a willing to change your old stigmas or belief systems. I’ll see you all next time. Stay well.