On this episode I welcome Jacqueline Stanko of @lets.talk.tots. She holds a Bachelor’s degree in Early Childhood Education, and has worked with children in some capacity over the last 17 years. In this episode we discuss the following:

• Why we struggle with playtime
• Why we put expectations on ourselves to always engage
• How we can foster development
• The most important components for optimal engagement

00;00;08;25 – 00;00;36;11

Dr. Mona

Hello everyone and welcome back to the PedsDocTalk podcast. I hope you all had a safe and healthy New Year. I’m just so excited to get back into podcasting again. And one of my first guests for the season is Jacqueline. She has a Bachelor of Science in Early Childhood Education and we are talking about how to overcome play time guilt, because we all know that we don’t always like playing with our kids.

 

00;00;36;14 – 00;00;46;19

Dr. Mona

And we’re going to talk about strategies to kind of overcome that guilt and kind of remind you that it’s okay if you don’t like playing with your kids all the time. Thank you so much for being here today, Jacqueline.

 

00;00;46;21 – 00;00;48;15

Jacqueline Stanko

Thanks for having me. I’m excited.

 

00;00;48;18 – 00;00;53;18

Dr. Mona

Tell me more about yourself and what drew you to be in early childhood education?

 

00;00;53;21 – 00;01;18;00

Jacqueline Stanko

So I was a competitive gymnast and a competitive dancer growing up, and I started off by being an assistant in those classes with the younger kids. And eventually I just kept doing it. I kept babysitting and nannying and coaching when I was student teaching in college, I was also teaching swim lessons and coaching the middle school track team at the school where I was.

 

00;01;18;00 – 00;01;24;18

Jacqueline Stanko

I just have always been drawn to teaching people to working with kids. I think it’s just the best job.

 

00;01;24;21 – 00;01;31;26

Dr. Mona

So you have had so much experience with children in so many different ways. So you were kind of just drawn to this by all of your experiences?

 

00;01;31;28 – 00;01;57;03

Jacqueline Stanko

Yes, actually, I taught pre-kindergarten and kindergarten, and then I had an opportunity to coach at my alma mater and was able to coach swimming and diving at Youngstown State University. So I was able to see how those experiences from early childhood lead in to college when they no longer had their parents there. And making those connections really informed a lot of what happens in early childhood.

 

00;01;57;03 – 00;01;58;12

Jacqueline Stanko

It was really cool.

 

00;01;58;15 – 00;02;16;12

Dr. Mona

Yeah, and obviously that’s why I’m so happy to have you on, because as a pediatrician, I completely agree how important early childhood education is, but also just going downstream into childhood. You know, I think so much of our education is teaching parents the tools and skills to give the foundation for their child for the rest of their life.

 

00;02;16;19 – 00;02;27;14

Dr. Mona

Tell me more about why you started your Instagram handle. Let’s talked torts and I will link that to my show notes. But tell me more about what led you to start that Instagram page.

 

00;02;27;16 – 00;02;50;16

Jacqueline Stanko

So while I was coaching, I had had our first child and as you know, like the resources were just not that great for being a working parent and a demanding job. And I had a lot of postpartum anxiety and all of those things kind of snowballed. And it led to me deciding that I wanted to be a stay at home mom.

 

00;02;50;23 – 00;03;13;25

Jacqueline Stanko

And then, you know, more of my friends were having kids and they would ask me questions, knowing my background. And they kept saying, you should start a blog. You should start an Instagram. Like more people need to know this information, because the way I was giving it was simple. It’s not the research language, it was just here’s what you need to know as a parent.

 

00;03;13;27 – 00;03;20;22

Jacqueline Stanko

And they kept telling me to do it and eventually I did. So that was the motivation there.

 

00;03;20;24 – 00;03;39;07

Dr. Mona

You know, I had that same story. And I just think it’s so great that you are doing what you’re doing with your area of expertise and obviously having the passion for it. So this episode, you know, we decided to do this topic because I do feel like, you know, we’re in a pandemic. I know if you’re listening to this now, maybe you’re listening to this two years from now when this pandemic is hopefully over.

 

00;03;39;07 – 00;03;58;21

Dr. Mona

But, you know, I think parents overthink playtime and struggle with playtime. Like I talked to so many moms and dads. But, you know, I have a lot of moms coming into my office for like one. I hate playtime. Two it’s overwhelming. Three I just don’t know what to do. I mean, there’s just so many emotions around playtime. Why do you think we struggle so much with playtime?

 

00;03;58;21 – 00;03;59;23

Dr. Mona

And as a parent.

 

00;03;59;26 – 00;04;24;20

Jacqueline Stanko

I think there are three main components. It’s the market for educational toys and specifically branded toys just leads to this sense of like more and more and more toys. Toys don’t need to be educational. Toys are tools and I think we want the best for our kids, right? Like everybody wants to give their child an easier time in school.

 

00;04;24;20 – 00;04;52;16

Jacqueline Stanko

They want them to thrive. And these toys that are like, quote unquote educational are usually cause and effect toys. So you hit the button and it makes a sound or it has an action. They’re not teaching, they’re just cause and effect. Oh, if I press this button, this sound happens. You know, everybody will tell you a box, some dirt, some rocks, you know, like those are things that withstand the test of time.

 

00;04;52;16 – 00;05;10;15

Jacqueline Stanko

A ball, a doll. They don’t have to be this intricate toys. I think a lot of times people get caught up in, you know, needing the toy with the Paw Patrol logo on it or, you know, they want something. They think it’s going to help their kid, and it’s just really easy to get caught up in that.

 

00;05;10;17 – 00;05;33;25

Jacqueline Stanko

And then as well with that the branded toys obviously there’s nothing wrong with them. We have them. It’s fun for kids to see their favorite characters on them. What I would look for is something that maybe doesn’t have it because those interest only really last up to six months. Those deep interests our kids have, that’s pretty much the max is usually about six months.

 

00;05;33;27 – 00;05;40;21

Jacqueline Stanko

So you’re looking at do you always have to keep repurchasing and then your house ends up overflowing?

 

00;05;40;29 – 00;05;41;21

Dr. Mona

Correct.

 

00;05;41;24 – 00;06;06;05

Jacqueline Stanko

And that kind of lead me to my next point is that sometimes we have this mentality that more toys equals more playtime and equals more joy, and it’s actually the inverse. So like toys can obviously be exciting. And like we talked about they should be tools. So they’re vessels for the child imagination to express their emotions, learn new skills, make sense of their world.

 

00;06;06;08 – 00;06;28;24

Jacqueline Stanko

The problem is they can’t do that when there are too many toys. It’s kind of like as an adult, if you’ve ever planned a trip to Disney World, a lot of people get really overwhelmed because there’s just so much to do. They don’t want to miss anything. They don’t want to miss this experience, this opportunity. It’s kind of the same way with kids and toys.

 

00;06;28;24 – 00;06;52;26

Jacqueline Stanko

If they have all of these options, they don’t want to miss anything. They’re very curious. They want to explore everything. But as soon as they see something else that might catch their eye, they jump. So it doesn’t really lead to that deep play that we want to see to build more attention span a deeper internal world that type of stuff with their imagination.

 

00;06;52;29 – 00;07;23;05

Jacqueline Stanko

Again, I love to use analogies because I think it helps adults bridge the gap with the child mindset. Like the more not bringing more joy. A lot of times if we have a closet full of clothes and we say we have nothing to wear, yes, if you were to only have a few things that you truly love and then you always have something to wear, you rarely have to go shopping and find something else or dig through your closet, and it doesn’t take as long to do laundry or put it away.

 

00;07;23;08 – 00;07;45;12

Jacqueline Stanko

Those things are the same with toys. If we have less toys that you truly love and this doesn’t mean get rid of all your toys. I’m a huge advocate of like a toy rotation. They are able to play more deeply. Like I mentioned, it’s much, much easier for them to put things away, and it’s much easier for them to be successful when they want to find their toy.

 

00;07;45;12 – 00;07;57;17

Jacqueline Stanko

They don’t have to seek you out. They can say, I know exactly where that toy is. Yeah, I’m successful. I can do this. And just giving them that sense of independence and pride, it’s just really important for development, I think.

 

00;07;57;19 – 00;08;18;28

Dr. Mona

Oh, I agree too. And the more mentality combined with the marketing of toys is definitely a huge issue. And I love the simplicity. And, you know, I talk about toy rotation on my page as well. I know it’s not always easy. Parents, I don’t have the time to do toy rotation. I’m like, no, no, no, let me tell you, it actually will also be good for you because it’s less physical clutter that’s created when you have less stuff out.

 

00;08;18;28 – 00;08;36;24

Dr. Mona

Like we have toys, but we put a lot of them away and rotated like new stuff. So even if it’s something Ryan played with three months ago, we give him a break from it, bring it back out during a toy rotation, and it’s something new to him and he gets a new interest. And I agree with that. You said there was a third reason why you feel like we struggled so much with playtime.

 

00;08;36;24 – 00;08;38;04

Dr. Mona

What would that be?

 

00;08;38;07 – 00;09;12;29

Jacqueline Stanko

The third reason, I think, is because adults think that they are supposed to play with their kids. Jean Piaget said play is the work of child hood and that’s just as simple as it is. Their brains are geared toward it and they are assimilating all of these components of knowledge that they’re getting from them, all of the stimulus from everything they do from, you know, what they might do at school, what they did in the back yard, what conversation they had with someone, with a book, with a TV show.

 

00;09;13;02 – 00;09;34;07

Jacqueline Stanko

They have to find what box that goes in in their brain. They have to figure out where that fits. And a lot of times they do that with play. As adults, we have those building blocks already. We know what boxes a lot of the information goes into, and so we don’t need play the same way that kids need play.

 

00;09;34;10 – 00;09;59;24

Jacqueline Stanko

So what I would suggest is that parents don’t need to feel guilt for not enjoying playing like a traditional pretend play scenario with their kids. So like in the morning, I have our routine, we have breakfast, I sit down and drink my coffee. My kids know that’s their time to play on their own, right? They know after I’m done with my coffee that my time that I’m going to play with them.

 

00;09;59;26 – 00;10;18;26

Jacqueline Stanko

And sometimes we set a timer and I say, like, this is my last playtime with you. Sometimes we don’t just depends on the day if we have more things going on, but they know when to expect me to play on the floor with them. They know that they play with their dad after dinner. That’s their time to play with him on the floor.

 

00;10;18;29 – 00;10;35;18

Jacqueline Stanko

And this is five ten minutes. We are not spending hours upon hours doing this and throughout the day, if it’s a different time of day when it’s not like our typical time to play, if we truly don’t want to, we don’t say yes.

 

00;10;35;20 – 00;10;36;02

Dr. Mona

Yeah.

 

00;10;36;02 – 00;10;57;13

Jacqueline Stanko

Again, like with the analogy, like if you really don’t want to go to a party and you say yes, you’re really not there, you’re really not enjoying it. And people can usually tell. Your kids are the same way. They know if you’re not really invested, they know if you’re checking your phone, if you’re trying to get up every two seconds to go put something away.

 

00;10;57;16 – 00;11;15;10

Jacqueline Stanko

And it’s honestly worse than if you would have just said, you know, I can’t play right now. I would love to play with you. You know, if they set a timer, if you set a specific time of day, you say, you know, after lunch, I would love to play with you. And this is where also I like to give options.

 

00;11;15;13 – 00;11;30;17

Jacqueline Stanko

Honestly, I don’t love doing pretend play. Even when I was a child, if someone would say, now you say you know x, y and Z, I hated it. I didn’t understand why I would repeat what they just said.

 

00;11;30;20 – 00;11;33;13

Dr. Mona

And I still feel the same way, you know.

 

00;11;33;16 – 00;11;34;04

Jacqueline Stanko

25.

 

00;11;34;04 – 00;11;35;05

Dr. Mona

Years later.

 

00;11;35;07 – 00;11;53;01

Jacqueline Stanko

So what I like to do again is give options. I can say, I can’t wait to play with you after lunch. Do you want to do a sensory Ben with me or do you want to color? Those are two things I like to do. So I give two options that I’m okay with, and then I can be there and I can enjoy it too.

 

00;11;53;03 – 00;12;12;00

Jacqueline Stanko

That can be reading. Watching a show usually isn’t the best because you don’t interact with them, but if that’s the way they want to connect for that day, that’s great. You know, you can snuggle, you can talk about it after. There’s a lot of different ways to connect with that. Like you mentioned on your page, there’s not one way to bond with a child.

 

00;12;12;00 – 00;12;20;02

Jacqueline Stanko

There’s not one way to play with a child. I know a lot of people like doing puzzles or board games, stuff like that. Any of that is valuable.

 

00;12;20;04 – 00;12;45;17

Dr. Mona

This episode is brought to you by the New Mom Survival Guide, an online digital course and community created by me, Doctor Mona Amin. Using my experience as a board certified pediatrician and mom, I created this course to guide you through your first year of motherhood. From the foundations of parenting, newborn feeding, sleep in the first year, introduction of solids, and understanding child behavior and development.

 

00;12;45;19 – 00;13;04;10

Dr. Mona

I will be your guide and support you throughout this incredible journey. Make sure to visit Pedes Doc talk.com and be one of the first to get your hands on this incredible resource created to support and empower you as you embark on the joyous path of parenthood. I think I agree with you. So obviously we have the toys being marketed.

 

00;13;04;17 – 00;13;22;06

Dr. Mona

You know, people think more and more and more, which I completely agree, less is more with anything in parenting, not just with play, but this expectation that we have to play a certain way. Where do you think that’s coming from? Because I also agree, like I myself love doing jigsaw puzzles and my husband thinks that they’re just the worst thing.

 

00;13;22;06 – 00;13;40;24

Dr. Mona

His mind doesn’t work like that and exactly like he loves building magna tiles. My husband like we got Magna tells. And my son and I and my husband looked at me, he’s like, why don’t you try building something from just your mind? I’m like, I don’t want you. Like, it’s not fun for me. Like, if I’m going to use Magna tiles, I want to use a guide or I don’t want to do it like it’s not something fun.

 

00;13;40;24 – 00;13;58;24

Dr. Mona

And I think about that so much for children. And I think we get so much into this, like expectation of my kid has to love this sort of activity. Like I use puzzles as an example, right? I love puzzles like me. So Ryan may not be a puzzle guy. I can already tell that he’s a magnet child I like.

 

00;13;58;24 – 00;14;18;14

Dr. Mona

He loves using the Magna tiles, and he’s already lining them up and putting them up into boxes and I’m like, wow, that’s so cool. And I have to let go of that expectation that he may not be a puzzle kid. Like, I was like, I think there’s so much expectation that we either bring from our own likings, like we like something, so we expect our kid to like it.

 

00;14;18;14 – 00;14;25;25

Dr. Mona

Not always. I think those expectations are coming from and how we can drop those expectations and playtime as well.

 

00;14;25;27 – 00;14;50;09

Jacqueline Stanko

So I think, like you said, I think some of it is just our memory, what we loved as kids, and we want our kids to love that too. People do that with play. They do it with sports, different activities where they went to school, things like that. It helps them feel connected. And I think even when we were talking about Christmas present, you know, a month or so ago, they’re looking at gifts.

 

00;14;50;12 – 00;15;00;10

Jacqueline Stanko

A lot of people think they have to be toys. And again, I think it’s from like a marketing perspective is that kids need toys at Christmas. This is what they do to play.

 

00;15;00;12 – 00;15;01;02

Dr. Mona

Right?

 

00;15;01;05 – 00;15;29;19

Jacqueline Stanko

But art supplies, magnet tiles, puzzles, all of those things. Play-Doh, those aren’t tradition old toys, but they’re just as valuable. They allow play. I think anything that helps facilitate play is perfect. Yeah, like I said earlier, you could give a kid a cardboard box. I loved making, like, houses and little condos out of boxes for my Polly Pocket.

 

00;15;29;19 – 00;15;50;10

Jacqueline Stanko

I never had one of their houses. I like to build my own out of shoe boxes and thought that was the best thing. And right now, like you were saying, like, my son isn’t into that, right now. He also loves magnet tiles. He thinks that they are the best. Yeah, but moving away from that, I think it’s just acknowledging that there are different types of play.

 

00;15;50;12 – 00;16;14;15

Jacqueline Stanko

You’re not a better parent if you get on the ground, you know you’re not a better parent if you do the craft. I literally show people how to do activities with their kids and be successful doing activities with their kids. And I probably do a traditional craft four times a year, and three of them probably happen around Christmas because there is more to do and more to gift.

 

00;16;14;18 – 00;16;31;22

Jacqueline Stanko

I don’t like doing crafts, I don’t know. I’m a good parent. I still know I’m bringing value to my kids and it’s just something you have to accept. Like, this is my strength or this is something I’m not that great at right now. I’m going to focus on what I am good at, and you’re not doing it alone.

 

00;16;31;25 – 00;16;56;00

Jacqueline Stanko

You’re not the only one that has to provide a playmate because you’re not one. Correct. But like, you can be one for a few minutes at a time or for these little sections of time. But especially like if you’re in a partnership, your partner can be somebody who brings their area of play to your child. You know, their grandparents, their uncles, their friends, their friends, parents.

 

00;16;56;00 – 00;17;06;04

Jacqueline Stanko

Like it truly is a community. You don’t have to do it by yourself. You aren’t responsible for every area of your child’s development, even though it could feel like that.

 

00;17;06;06 – 00;17;27;22

Dr. Mona

Oh yeah. And I think, there is so much expectation and pressure that we put on ourselves. And, you know, I think, I think one of the hardest phases for I think a lot of parents, including myself, you know, I’m, I’m pediatrician, I love development and was when they’re infants. Right. I mean when they’re infants and they’re not really like responding back as much to you, you know, like they’re not talking back.

 

00;17;27;29 – 00;17;45;21

Dr. Mona

You feel like you have to do so much with them. And I tell my families, like, there are certain things that we want to teach, like floor time. And, you know, obviously like, you know, different activities. But it really comes down to that balance, like you mentioned earlier in this discussion about allowing them independent play is also really important too, right?

 

00;17;45;21 – 00;18;11;13

Dr. Mona

Like that, you know, like climbers. And you know, I think in infancy it starts right. Like when Ryan wasn’t. Oh yeah. We we would leave him in his safe, you know, playpen area and allow him to just be bored. Like he would cry and we would be in the kitchen. And parents really need to be okay with their kids and toddlers being upset a little bit that you’re not playing with them, meaning if you’re in the kitchen doing something and your child is mommy, mommy, I want to play.

 

00;18;11;15 – 00;18;27;07

Dr. Mona

Hey, Ryan, I see that you want mommy to play with you. I want you to figure out what you want to do right now. And in five minutes. And you can say or after one song, if you’re listening to music, I will be right there with you. But I think parents get so upset that their children are upset when they’re left alone.

 

00;18;27;07 – 00;18;44;02

Dr. Mona

Like meaning when you’re not in their phase that they don’t train them to be independent. Like, I see this all the time. They’re like, how is Ryan so good at independent plan? Like from when he was an infant, we allowed him that independent playtime. What that meant is, hey, you’re going to be in a safe space. You play, you look at things, here are your toys.

 

00;18;44;02 – 00;19;02;19

Dr. Mona

Like he would roll and he would try to figure out from infancy how to get to an item and how to, like, crawl or scoot or roll. And then of course, if he cried or of course if he got upset, then we would go and we would play with him. But we allowed that pause. You know, that time of life, hey, I don’t need to be in your face all the time.

 

00;19;02;19 – 00;19;20;05

Dr. Mona

And I think parents need to say that to themselves more to reduce that pressure and reduce that guilt. And I think from a developmental perspective, you like to see your child thrive when you allow them just more space like. Absolutely. More of a balance of, hey, I don’t need to be in your face all the time, but what can you figure out on your own?

 

00;19;20;05 – 00;19;37;22

Dr. Mona

Because kids are really smart. Like, I know you know that because you’re uncharted development, they are really smart and they don’t always need us to show things like, I think one big example is when Ryan is trying to figure something out. We always, always allow him a moment to figure it out before we even touch anything or do anything.

 

00;19;37;22 – 00;19;57;03

Dr. Mona

And if he’s getting frustrated, I’m with Ryan. I see that you’re really frustrated because you can’t figure it out. And then he’s like trying and trying and then eventually he gets it. Sometimes I have to show him, but we need to allow them to be frustrated and be upset and be like, okay with that feeling because they will learn through their own play, not even from us.

 

00;19;57;04 – 00;20;05;28

Dr. Mona

They will learn like, oh well, yeah, I’m frustrated because I can’t put the manga tile together, but look at what I just build. And then you’re like, oh my gosh, like positive reinforcement. It’s completely.

 

00;20;05;28 – 00;20;06;07

Jacqueline Stanko

Agree.

 

00;20;06;07 – 00;20;07;21

Dr. Mona

Parents have lost it, right?

 

00;20;07;23 – 00;20;28;19

Jacqueline Stanko

Yes. And yeah, sometimes the kids come up with a way that you would never have thought of. And if you would have showed them exactly how to do it, they probably never would have found that solution. And the attention span, independent play. Those are learned skills, and they’re hard. I mean, you have a lot of adults that don’t have great attention span.

 

00;20;28;19 – 00;20;51;23

Jacqueline Stanko

And with that, keep in mind developmentally appropriate amounts of time, like when they’re under one, you’re looking at, you know, just a couple minutes at a time and then slowly growing that as a toddler you can expect a little bit longer stretches. But you have to practice like you said you have to let them do it. You can’t just say go play and expect them to know what to do.

 

00;20;51;25 – 00;21;11;26

Jacqueline Stanko

Right. Because it’s a learned thing. Obviously kids gravitate more towards play. They have a natural ability for it, but it’s something we need to foster. So when we’re looking at it, like you were saying, with Ryan in the kitchen, it’s his, time to go play. What I like to say right now, my job is to cook dinner.

 

00;21;11;28 – 00;21;33;23

Jacqueline Stanko

Your job is to go play, because it really is like, that’s their job right now. And even my youngest is a year and a half, and she’s understanding that now. Yeah, she can play by herself for hours. It’s like, that’s not a normal thing. But she’ll check over and look at me. Yeah, you know, show me things and I’ll say, yeah, that’s nice.

 

00;21;33;26 – 00;21;55;25

Jacqueline Stanko

And that’s really what we want to do is just if they’re playing, you don’t need to interrupt them. You don’t need to comment. Even if they ask a question, if they don’t ask directly to you, they might not be asking you. They might be talking to their toy. They might be talking to themselves. They’re really still developing language in a big, big way.

 

00;21;56;02 – 00;22;16;12

Jacqueline Stanko

So they really might just be practicing. They don’t need you to interrupt them. Right. So what I really like to do is I just sit back, I stay close, and it’s easy. In our house, we have a pretty open layout, but I stay available. But they know where I am. If I’m upstairs, I can say, hey, you know what?

 

00;22;16;12 – 00;22;37;13

Jacqueline Stanko

I’m going to run upstairs for a few minutes. Let me know if you need something or, hey, I’m going to be in the kitchen, that type of thing so they know where I am. I’m available. I’m close, but at the same time, they’re doing their thing. I’m doing my thing. And then if they say, hey, mama, look, I made this, I can chime in and then go back to what I was doing.

 

00;22;37;16 – 00;23;05;18

Jacqueline Stanko

Now, another way to foster play is that if you are playing with them, if you’re engaging in that pretend play, you aren’t yourself. You are basically an extension of a toy that your kid gets to tell you what to do, what to say, and it’s more your time to connect with them and let them be in charge. And then that will really help foster their independent play, because it’s not really you and them.

 

00;23;05;20 – 00;23;24;02

Jacqueline Stanko

They’re just using you as a toy and being able to develop their own world and to tell their own story. If things are more adult led, it could probably get away from what the kid really intended to do in the first place. If we’re kind of driving the ship and it should be, that’s their job.

 

00;23;24;04 – 00;23;52;14

Dr. Mona

It’s so interesting and it’s just so hard for so many parents to let go. I mean, if I write a book ever, it’s going to be learning to let go, like let it go like so in everything in parenting, we need to learn to just let them let it go. And when I mean it, like letting go of the control and we I think this whole episode really just brought it home of, you know, we talked about like letting go of that expectation that you have to do it all, that if you don’t like to do something like, I am not a crafty person, like I am not crafty at all, like I don’t like

 

00;23;52;14 – 00;24;07;06

Dr. Mona

coloring, I don’t like drawing, and I’m okay with that. Like I accept that. And you brought up that great strategy of like, you know, when it is playtime, you’re choosing something that you like as an adult, like, you know, hey, do you want to do X or Y? You know, that way you are more engaged in it. Is so valuable.

 

00;24;07;13 – 00;24;21;24

Dr. Mona

Are there any other, you know, final like uplifting messages or, you know, a final message you would have to parents, especially around, you know, when they’re feeling like you know that they’re not doing enough or that they’re not engaging with their child enough. Like, what would you tell those parents?

 

00;24;21;27 – 00;24;52;10

Jacqueline Stanko

I would take a deep breath before you get engaged in what they’re doing and take a moment and just notice them. I think just watching kids play and watching how their mind is working is amazing. Yeah, like you said, they’re so smart. They’re so intuitive. They have these skills. So really, kids don’t need us to play. They need us to set the stage for them and then hand over the mic, give them control and let them do what they do best.

 

00;24;53;13 – 00;25;10;07

Dr. Mona

And they do a lot of things really good. Like I think they do. You know if I could really just tell anyone like my message, it’s like children, one will really surprise you when you like least expect it. They are very capable. But you have to give them the opportunity to show you what they are capable of.

 

00;25;10;07 – 00;25;27;14

Dr. Mona

And like I said, my biggest message earlier was pausing and just allowing them to just get a little fresh air. I’m not saying that they should throw like things around and get into like a major meltdown and you’re just not being there for them. But I’m talking like letting them just get a little bit bored during play, catch them, get a little bit like, hey mommy, I don’t know what to do.

 

00;25;27;20 – 00;25;43;14

Dr. Mona

Hey, I see that you’re a little bored right now, but I think you can figure out something to do with your magnets. Or maybe your trains. Why don’t you figure out something that you can do with that? What can you build? For us, a less intervention, in a way, is actually what’s going to lead to, I think, bigger breakthroughs with our children.

 

00;25;43;16 – 00;25;52;06

Dr. Mona

And, you know, Jacqueline, I just think this is such a great conversation. Where can everyone find you, like your Instagram? And then if they want to connect more with you.

 

00;25;52;12 – 00;26;22;11

Jacqueline Stanko

So right now I have my Instagram. It’s let’s and then there’s a period talk another period tots on Instagram. And then if you want to email me any questions or topics you think should be covered, that’s at the same. Let’s talk tots at gmail.com and I would love to hear from people. Of course, you know, I have kind of a rough idea of what I want to cover, but my whole goal is to share what I know and to help people.

 

00;26;22;11 – 00;26;24;03

Jacqueline Stanko

So I would really love feedback.

 

00;26;24;05 – 00;26;43;25

Dr. Mona

Awesome. Well, I’m going to attach all of her information, you know, her Instagram handle to my show notes. Make sure you check her out. And again guys, simplify that playtime. Don’t put so much expectations on yourself and we will see you next week for another episode. Thank you for tuning in for this week’s episode. As always, please leave a review.

 

00;26;43;27 – 00;26;54;23

Dr. Mona

Share this episode with a friend. Share it on your social media. Make sure to follow me at PedsDocTalk on Instagram and subscribe to my YouTube channel. PedsDocTalk TV. We’ll talk to you soon.