In this episode, I sit down with retired pediatrician and grandmother Dr. Bubbie, whose 40 years in pediatrics give her a rare, steady perspective on the highs and lows of raising kids today. We talk about what modern parents are doing well, why so many of us feel anxious even when we’re doing a good job, and how social media has quietly changed the way we parent.

Dr. Bubbie shares what she has learned from decades of caring for families and what surprised her when she stepped into the online world after retiring. We get into the pressures parents feel to get everything right, the fear of making mistakes, and how comparison steals the calm that most families are craving. We also talk honestly about grandparents, boundaries, discipline, and the tension between wanting to follow all the new information out there while trying to honor our own instincts.

We also cover:
✔️ What today’s parents truly excel at
✔️ How finances, childcare, and social media shape stress
✔️ Why intuition gets quieter when we’re overloaded
✔️ What past generations did well that’s worth bringing back
✔️ How to think about milestones without panicking
✔️ The rise of gentle parenting, what it gets right, and where it goes sideways
✔️ Why some kids seem “behind” online when they’re actually right on track
✔️ Vaccine misinformation, raw milk trends, and the danger of online “experts”
✔️ How pediatricians actually make decisions, and why the team approach matters

To connect with Dr. Bubbie follow her on Instagram @askbubbie and check out all her resources at ⁠linktree.com/askbubbie⁠

Our podcasts are also now on YouTube. If you prefer a video podcast with closed captioning, check us out there and⁠ ⁠subscribe to PedsDocTalk⁠⁠.

Get trusted pediatric advice, relatable parenting insights, and evidence-based tips delivered straight to your inbox—join thousands of parents who rely on the PDT newsletter to stay informed, supported, and confident.⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠Join the newsletter⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠!

And don’t forget to follow⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠@pedsdoctalkpodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ on Instagram—our new space just for parents looking for real talk and real support.

We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on the⁠ ⁠PedsDocTalk Podcast Sponsorships⁠⁠ page of the website. 

00;00;00;03 – 00;00;07;18

Dr. Flo Rosen

Parents today are so frightened that they’re going to do the wrong thing.

 

00;00;07;18 – 00;00;08;06

Dr. Mona

And,

 

00;00;08;09 – 00;00;37;02

Dr. Flo Rosen

And that’s because they’re bom boarded with that. And I think my generation had so much less of that because we didn’t have that wealth of information out there. I mean, I knew more than the average bear because I was a pediatrician, but nonetheless, I mean, there were a few parenting books out there that were good quality books. There were the occasional article in parents magazine.

 

00;00;37;04 – 00;00;49;13

Dr. Flo Rosen

But the rest of it was from my friend group. You know, fellow parents going through this.

 

00;00;49;16 – 00;01;08;17

Dr. Mona

Welcome back to the PedsDocTalk podcast. Doctor Mona here, your online pediatrician, mom, friend and host of the show that continues to be a top parenting podcast in the United States. And I just can’t believe it. And as a reminder, you help that happen when you download every episode, when you subscribe. That is what helps the show continue to grow.

 

00;01;08;17 – 00;01;29;23

Dr. Mona

And I don’t think people realize how important those downloads are, because that’s how we track metrics. And I hate that everything has to be so metric focused, but that is how shows grow. So thank you for supporting me and I cannot wait to get into this conversation today. It’s one that I’ve been looking forward to, because I’m sitting down with someone who brings the kind of wisdom we could all use.

 

00;01;29;23 – 00;01;48;09

Dr. Mona

If you’ve been here for a while and follow me on social media, you know I’m a big believer in blending the best of both worlds Eastern and Western medicine. I’m a Deo or osteopathic physician. Home remedies and evidence based care, and the wisdom that comes from every generation. I learn from pediatricians who’ve practiced longer than me, I learn from my mom.

 

00;01;48;15 – 00;02;15;17

Dr. Mona

I learn from the parents. I care for. All of that matters just as much as the modern research we rely on today or current parenting trends. Parenting works best when experience and new insight talk to each other, not over each other. And that’s why I invited Doctor Flo Rosen onto the show. She’s a board certified pediatrician who’s now retired with over 40 years of experience, a mom, a grandmother, and the creator behind the beloved platform.

 

00;02;15;17 – 00;02;37;24

Dr. Mona

Ask Bubbie. She has seen every wave of parenting, from the pre social media days to the current era where information moves fast and parents feel a lot of pressure to get things right. She’s also seen vaccine preventable illnesses that many parents today have never witnessed, because vaccines have control them. That kind of lived experience is priceless, and I’m grateful she’s here to share it.

 

00;02;37;26 – 00;03;12;10

Dr. Mona

We’re talking about what modern parents are feeling, where we might be overthinking how social media helps, but also hurts, why grandparents sometimes clash with us, and the lessons from pediatrics that never go out of style. You’re going to feel understood, grounded, and honestly more balanced. Before we jump in, make sure you subscribe and download this episode. Those downloads helped the show grow more than you realize, and when you’re done listening, share your favorite moment on social media and tag at Pete Stock, Talk at the Pete Stock Talk podcast and ask Bobby so we can see what stood out to you.

 

00;03;12;15 – 00;03;19;22

Dr. Mona

Let’s get into this amazing conversation.

 

00;03;19;24 – 00;03;22;20

Dr. Mona

Thank you for joining me, Bobby. I’m going to call you Bobby for the rest of the conversation.

 

00;03;22;20 – 00;03;33;24

Dr. Flo Rosen

Of course. And thank you for that great intro. And honestly, I don’t mind the aging so much except that I think it’s the experience and wisdom that counts.

 

00;03;34;01 – 00;04;01;00

Dr. Mona

It is exactly that. And that is why this conversation is so important. Because it’s not that this age or that, it’s that with that 40 years, with the fact that you’re now educating online, you are a grandma, a mom, you have a lot of education and wisdom to see the balanced approach to parenting. And I, I always say, I think modern parents get things right in many ways that maybe our generations above didn’t, but we have forgotten a lot of the basic things that my our parents did that are very useful.

 

00;04;01;00 – 00;04;09;19

Dr. Mona

So I love that we’re going to have this sort of conversation. And you obviously retired in 2022. When did you start your platform online?

 

00;04;09;22 – 00;04;37;16

Dr. Flo Rosen

Well, it was actually 23, and it was right after my grandson was born. And my, my son and my daughter in law, who is very beloved, are very much social media people. And so everything got recorded and I was demonstrating to them how to put rent my grandson in a position for tummy time. And Trent put him in the position.

 

00;04;37;16 – 00;04;56;29

Dr. Flo Rosen

He looked up at me and he rolled over and as you know, 18 year olds are not supposed to roll over. So I went a little nuts and said, you know, it has to be a fluke. You know, babies don’t do that. Let’s just do this again. And I put him back in position and once again looked at me and totally rolled over.

 

00;04;57;07 – 00;05;21;05

Dr. Flo Rosen

And I like any grandmother, not pediatrician, but grandmother went absolutely nuts. I was like, did you see that? Did you see what he did? He isn’t supposed to do that. And my daughter in law got all of that on video and thought it was so hilarious that it had to be posted, that that video has now been seen over 30 million times.

 

00;05;21;07 – 00;05;21;26

Dr. Mona

Oh.

 

00;05;21;26 – 00;05;40;00

Dr. Flo Rosen

I love that ad she said to me, we really need to do something with this. And I said, well, I always thought in retirement I would do, you know, an advice column. And she looked at me and she said, that’s so old school. You are going on social media. And as Bobby was bored.

 

00;05;40;06 – 00;05;55;12

Dr. Mona

I love that origin story and that is great. Obviously, I don’t think I saw and now I have to go back and look at the origin video. But yes, obviously you’re content with the education you have with your grandchild, but also obviously on your own. I’m loving it. And I think that’s such a great way to get into this world.

 

00;05;55;19 – 00;06;20;13

Dr. Mona

And we’re going to talk about this. Right. Because you are obviously a practicing pediatrician for 40 years and now you’re online. We are going to get to that sort of. What did you learn from being online as a retired coach? Because I’m sure you’ve learned a lot, but I want to start this conversation with a positive thing. So from your years in practice, what do you think that modern parents and I when I say modern parents, I’m saying like parents in this parenting age.

 

00;06;20;13 – 00;06;25;08

Dr. Mona

Okay, sure. What are we really getting right? And what do you want to applaud and what we’re doing?

 

00;06;25;10 – 00;06;32;16

Dr. Flo Rosen

I think what parents today are really getting right is the desire to really connect with their kids so much.

 

00;06;32;20 – 00;06;33;11

Dr. Mona

Love it.

 

00;06;33;13 – 00;07;04;12

Dr. Flo Rosen

I think they are very aware of children’s feelings and particularly around toddlers, but there is just, a tremendous, understanding that you’re not going to get what you want or create the children that you want by being rigid and authoritarian, that understanding your children and, you know, raising them with warmth and empathy is going to create that connection that’s going to make your child a wonderful human being.

 

00;07;04;15 – 00;07;07;28

Dr. Flo Rosen

And I think that this generation really gets that.

 

00;07;08;02 – 00;07;20;20

Dr. Mona

Do you see also a generational shift of in hetero, heterosexual couples? Do you see more father involvement than you think you saw when you were a pediatrician? And, who is bringing their kids into the office?

 

00;07;20;22 – 00;07;48;22

Dr. Flo Rosen

You know, I think it really changed me when I was having children. I think fathers were very much more in the picture then and then they had been in the generation before that. So I don’t know that fathers are necessarily more involved now, but I think what is different, and I think this actually kind of is the impetus for a lot of things.

 

00;07;48;25 – 00;08;22;16

Dr. Flo Rosen

I think parents today are working incredibly hard, and most families, because of economic necessity, have both parents working full time. Yeah. And I think that’s incredibly difficult. And I, I think then it’s whoever has the slack in their schedule or the ability to do something jumps in. So I think there’s more equality, but I don’t necessarily think fathers are more involved than they would have wanted to be even 20 years ago.

 

00;08;22;16 – 00;08;25;06

Dr. Flo Rosen

I think it’s just the way things are.

 

00;08;25;08 – 00;08;38;22

Dr. Mona

Oh, I love that. And I think you actually segue beautifully into another question I had, which was I do agree that the economic realities have changed. Right. Even with the inflation costs, salaries are not rising in proportion. The cost of housing.

 

00;08;38;22 – 00;08;39;07

Dr. Flo Rosen

Costs.

 

00;08;39;08 – 00;08;57;28

Dr. Mona

Housing, child care. So you’re right that that is going to dictate so many of the ways that we can show up for our kids compared to maybe 40 years ago. And I also think that parents today, are in a wave of second guessing. You know, I often see parents overanalyzing every decision, trying to do it all just right.

 

00;08;58;00 – 00;09;08;29

Dr. Mona

Do you think parenting has truly become harder today, or are we simply being harder on ourselves, or do you think it’s a combination of the two?

 

00;09;09;01 – 00;09;15;07

Dr. Mona

Now let’s take a quick break to hear from our sponsors who support helps us keep bringing you this show.

 

00;09;15;10 – 00;09;38;16

Dr. Flo Rosen

Oh, I think it’s definitely a combination. I think parents today have it much harder. You know, when I was raising my kids, you could have a very nice life on one salary. Yeah, it took some sacrifice, but you could do it. And, you know, I took a lot of time after my kids were born. I worked part time afterwards.

 

00;09;38;18 – 00;10;03;01

Dr. Flo Rosen

And you could do that because you knew in the future things were going to get better. I’m not so convinced that parents today believe that they’re working incredibly hard. They have tremendous educational loans, that they’ve pursued a profession. You know, we’re a college degree. And I think that it’s very hard for them to see that there is a way out from under all of this debt.

 

00;10;03;03 – 00;10;30;13

Dr. Flo Rosen

So I do think parents today have it much, much harder. And just as a little aside with that, it kind of goes and we’ll we should probably talk about this later in more depth. But the whole, the whole, I don’t know, bias, difficulty, whatever between having grandparents help out or grandparents that are still working and living their lives.

 

00;10;30;13 – 00;10;44;25

Dr. Flo Rosen

And I think the resentment there is real. So I think that the realities of today really have made, you know, parenting harder. I also think that parents are so much harder on themselves.

 

00;10;44;27 – 00;10;45;04

Dr. Mona

Yeah.

 

00;10;45;04 – 00;11;10;28

Dr. Flo Rosen

And I, I, I blame social media as the reason and that, for all of that, I think, you know, it’s hard to remember that what you see on social media, a lot of it is curated. A lot of it is the best moments of someone’s life or the worst moments of someone’s life. And it’s not necessarily a real representation of what their day to day life is.

 

00;11;10;28 – 00;11;35;24

Dr. Flo Rosen

And I think parents watching other parents that have the perfect answer of how to handle something or, you know, they manage to, you know, have the child doing the perfect thing. I mean, I remember one video has a child using utensils perfectly at 11 months. Well, that’s great, but wonderful. Not yeah, typical. And so any parent who had a child over 11 months was saying, well, why isn’t my kid doing that?

 

00;11;36;00 – 00;12;06;11

Dr. Flo Rosen

So I think social media has made it so much harder. And I think the other aspect of social media is that you have so many people expressing their opinions, some of whom have education behind it or experience behind it, and others who really don’t. They’re just expressing their opinion. But you can have conflicting opinions. Yeah. And you have two people that are presenting a perfectly reasonable case, and yet they’re saying the exact opposite thing.

 

00;12;06;13 – 00;12;15;19

Dr. Flo Rosen

So I don’t know how a parent can’t second guess because, you know, they’re turning their head each when go, what do I do? I mean, it’s decision paralysis.

 

00;12;15;26 – 00;12;34;16

Dr. Mona

Oh, I, I feel that, you know, and what an interesting perspective for me is that since I’m a pediatrician and I’m on social and I have mentioned, you know, obviously I was a pediatrician for five years before becoming a mom and really building my platform. I had the experience of knowing what I used to give advice on, and then I came on social and I started to see all this stuff, right?

 

00;12;34;16 – 00;12;58;22

Dr. Mona

And I’m like, oh my God, like, what are people saying out there? And like you said, to your point, some of them have credentials. Many of them are just using personal experiences to give parenting guidance. And not to say that that’s invaluable. Like a mom of five giving their personal experience on five different children. But until you have seen a lot of different children and know that there’s different temperaments, there’s neurodiversity, that there’s no one size fits all.

 

00;12;58;25 – 00;13;22;05

Dr. Mona

Even as a pediatrician, that took me a few years to build, right? Like I wasn’t the pediatrician, I was one year out as I was ten year out because I got more volume of experiences. And that comparison, that feeling of like, you know, why is that person doing well, but also that education. I think what’s happening that I feel is a lot of my, my peers are losing that intuition.

 

00;13;22;05 – 00;13;39;22

Dr. Mona

And I talk about this a lot. Like I do believe that we have intuition as parents, but I believe when we start comparing ourselves with others, when we start listening to too many people, we forget to learn that so much of parenting is learning as you go is sitting on a value system and saying, you know what? I need to learn as I go?

 

00;13;39;22 – 00;13;54;25

Dr. Mona

And I may not have all the answers every given moment. And if I need it, I can get help. But I think we have become such an instant gratification society that we need to have the answer immediately. And I need to know what to do. If my kid now refused to nap, I need to know what to do now.

 

00;13;54;25 – 00;14;06;04

Dr. Mona

When, hey, maybe you need someone telling you what’s normal and that it’s okay. And let’s look at the big picture. And we’ve become very focused like hyper focus. And I think that’s kind of ruining us in many ways.

 

00;14;06;04 – 00;14;32;25

Dr. Flo Rosen

Well, I think that’s true. But I also think that affects pediatrics because I think you can learn everything from the books. Then you at when you go into practice, you learn from your parents. I mean, you really learn what they’re going through. And then when you’re a parent yourself, you realize, well, you may have been taught that this is the right way to do something, but it may not be right for your child if their temperament doesn’t fit that.

 

00;14;32;28 – 00;15;00;05

Dr. Flo Rosen

And so I think that being a parent really changes your perspective, on how to handle things. And I think that it’s how to handle pediatric things as well. Yeah. So I think you’re going to find, if I could say, with the benefit of hindsight, that you’re the way you practice and the way you approach a lot of different scenarios really evolves over time.

 

00;15;00;08 – 00;15;07;20

Dr. Flo Rosen

You know, not just because you’ve seen so many more kids, but because you’ve experienced so much more of it yourself.

 

00;15;07;22 – 00;15;27;17

Dr. Mona

Oh, absolutely. And I and I love that. I love that insight. Right. I think so much of that insight is so good for not only just professionals or mothers, but just as human beings to say, hey, I love this. I can always grow. I can always see what doesn’t work and take what does. And you know, the first question I asked you is what is some things that you think that modern parents are doing right?

 

00;15;27;19 – 00;15;54;23

Dr. Mona

To frame the second question, you know, modern parenting has definitely evolved. We’ve moved away from spanking rigid rules. And because, you know, because I said so, you know, but are there any tools, habits, or even mindsets from the past that you feel that maybe we’ve thrown away a little too quickly that you wish that more parents can bring this sort of value or mentality into the modern age of parenting, so that maybe they can find more joy and peace in their experience.

 

00;15;54;25 – 00;16;23;18

Dr. Flo Rosen

Yeah, and it’s funny because some of that really revolves around being a grandmother. I think that parents today are so frightened that they’re going to do the wrong thing. And and that’s because they’re bombarded with that. And I think my generation had so much less of that because we didn’t have that wealth of information out there.

 

00;16;23;18 – 00;16;57;29

Dr. Flo Rosen

I mean, I knew more than the average bear because I was a pediatrician, but nonetheless, yes, I mean, there were a few parenting books out there that were good quality books. There were the occasional article in parents magazine. But the rest of it was from my friend group, you know, fellow parents going through this. So I think grand parents have a very different perspective, part of which is great because they say, oh, this too shall pass.

 

00;16;57;29 – 00;17;19;05

Dr. Flo Rosen

This is a stage, you know, don’t make yourself crazy over this because this this is going to, you know, resolve itself. I think that’s very helpful. You know, it’s to say, look, there’s a million ways this could be done, a million ways to approach it, but this is just one tiny little grain of sand out of everything.

 

00;17;19;07 – 00;17;43;28

Dr. Flo Rosen

But the flip side of all of that is that grandparents, are dismissive of parents, because they’re very skeptical about all of these studies and all these different videos and all these different rules that are telling you to do different things. And there’s a tremendous amount of survivor bias where parents will say, well, I raised you. Okay.

 

00;17;43;28 – 00;18;10;04

Dr. Flo Rosen

You know, so, you know, I don’t need to follow this. Well, obviously, if it comes to putting a child in an empty crib or or putting a child in their car seat correctly, those are really important things that we’ve learned that grandparents didn’t know. So there is a fine balance, I think, between what you keep from the past and how you evolve with what we know now.

 

00;18;10;11 – 00;18;30;28

Dr. Mona

Oh, I love that example. And that that I think is a lot of frustration with my, you know, my peers in our generation and obviously many of us, you know, have parents in our, like, our parents in our lives. And that friction that can happen and that sort of I know and I also want to have the chance to learn and, you know, and you want to teach me and I feel like this information overload.

 

00;18;30;28 – 00;18;50;06

Dr. Mona

And again, that parent is now dealing with not only information from the internet, maybe information from their doctor and information from a parent of theirs, a grandparent that could conflict. And so then you’re like, what is right? Like, what am I supposed to do? And I’m curious, when you became a grandparent and you were helping your it was your son, son, son, right.

 

00;18;50;06 – 00;19;03;17

Dr. Mona

Your grandson from. Yeah. Yeah. When you were helping them, were there any moments that you that you had to kind of take that step back and say, I need to let them do what they need to do? Or did you find that they were very receptive of all the wisdom that you had?

 

00;19;03;19 – 00;19;04;08

Dr. Flo Rosen

Both.

 

00;19;04;11 – 00;19;16;24

Dr. Mona

Okay. And so now my question, I’m curious, what was the what was the more, I guess I should kind of question this a little bit. And what were the more like, oh yeah, Bobby. Like we love that advice. Like, what were those two examples? Yeah.

 

00;19;16;25 – 00;19;41;22

Dr. Flo Rosen

Look, I’m going to be honest, being a Jewish grandmother and a pediatrician, it’s exceedingly hard for me to keep my mouth closed. Luckily, I, my daughter in law is just wonderful and very open to listening. I love it, my son kind of rolls his eyes, but I think, you know, I can make suggestions. It doesn’t mean they always follow them, right?

 

00;19;41;25 – 00;20;01;23

Dr. Flo Rosen

But when they really need help, they’ll turn to me and not to open a can of worms. But the perfect example was I tried to get them to get Trent into a pattern and get down to bed, you know? Fine. None of that worked. And finally they called me up in tears. He was 14 months old, not sleeping.

 

00;20;01;26 – 00;20;11;25

Dr. Flo Rosen

They weren’t sleeping. They were walking zombies and both had to work. And it was like, you have to come and sleep. Trade of.

 

00;20;11;27 – 00;20;12;14

Dr. Flo Rosen

Your life.

 

00;20;12;14 – 00;20;12;21

Dr. Mona

Here.

 

00;20;12;21 – 00;20;35;06

Dr. Flo Rosen

There we go. Yeah. So, you know, that’s what I did. And I think that, you know, when push comes to shove, I think they really do appreciate having a resource. They can ask. But I think most of the time, I mean, normally I would say to a grandparent, you can make a suggestion once if they don’t listen to it, bite your tongue.

 

00;20;35;09 – 00;20;39;21

Dr. Flo Rosen

I maybe say it 2 or 3 times, but then I do bite my tongue.

 

00;20;39;24 – 00;20;50;11

Dr. Mona

But I think you get the 2 or 3 times because you have the wisdom of the 40 years experience with other children too. So I’m going to say that as a pediatrician, grandma, I would also give you a three strike rule for sure.

 

00;20;50;11 – 00;20;52;21

Dr. Flo Rosen

Well thank you, I appreciate that.

 

00;20;52;23 – 00;21;12;08

Dr. Mona

Because I know me and my husband know that when like if our children decide to have children, whatever it ends up being that. Yeah, I mean, that’s going to be a very interesting world for me, right? I mean, now I’m online creating for others. I was I’m practicing pediatrician and now my kids are going to have, you know, if they end up having their own kids down the line, it’s going to be like that balance of how much am I going to share?

 

00;21;12;10 – 00;21;28;25

Dr. Mona

What do they need? When do they need me? Yeah. And I love that you found that perfect balance in your real life. And then come now, in comes social media, which is a whole new ballgame for you. And I think we had talked well before we started this recording. You had mentioned, like, the things that kind of opened your eyes.

 

00;21;28;26 – 00;21;47;28

Dr. Mona

I’m curious, what about social media made you go, oh my gosh, what is happening? What about it? Did you like what messaging was out there that you still are like, can we just let go of this messaging because it’s harmful? Or maybe it’s not serving us? Well, I’d love to hear just your feelings about being a practicing or a retired pediatrician.

 

00;21;47;28 – 00;21;51;12

Dr. Mona

Now on social media.

 

00;21;51;14 – 00;21;57;08

Dr. Mona

Now let’s take a quick break to hear from our sponsors who support helps us keep bringing you this show.

 

00;21;57;11 – 00;22;31;03

Dr. Flo Rosen

Oh well, I have to tell you, my dearly beloved Aunt Rachel was an immigrant and when she came over knew absolutely no English and she literally plopped herself in front of the television. And she learned perfect English and American culture. And she always said that the television was such an incredible medium for education, if used correctly. I love that, and that’s how I view social media.

 

00;22;31;05 – 00;22;50;24

Dr. Flo Rosen

Social media has the ability to reach millions, you know, millions in a way that I couldn’t reach millions in my office, you know, in my office, it was me and my, you know, patients in my practice. And I know I made a very big difference to lots of people because I know they made a very big difference to me.

 

00;22;50;27 – 00;23;26;16

Dr. Flo Rosen

But that was a small cohort of people. Social media opens that up to the entire world, and I have literally been contacted from every continent except Antarctica. I was recognized, you know, in the L.A. airport by someone from Sydney. Yeah. It’s it’s astounding what the reach of social media is. So in that sense, I think social media is just an incredibly profound way to educate people.

 

00;23;26;19 – 00;23;59;12

Dr. Flo Rosen

What I find disturbing about social media is that it’s like the Wild West. Yeah, there are absolutely no safeguards in place. None. Yeah. You can see absolutely horrible advice online. You can see people saying horrific things. People don’t feel at all compelled to be kind and respectful because they’re not seeing someone face to face, particularly on TikTok.

 

00;23;59;12 – 00;24;37;12

Dr. Flo Rosen

They have different names, so you don’t even know who they are. And I think people can give absolutely horrific, horrific advice. There can be very good advice, but there can also be terrible advice. And the problem is being able to separate the two and assess it. And what’s really upsetting to me as a pediatrician, and I know from your videos, you certainly share this view, the misinformation surrounding vaccines and even surrounding what pediatricians do.

 

00;24;37;13 – 00;25;12;09

Dr. Flo Rosen

Yeah, is just so horrible and so far from reality. And it really upsets me that because somebody can have a soapbox on social media, they can take one little fact distorted completely, take it totally out of context and just run with it. And that can be viewed by millions that say, oh, I didn’t know that. And that’s just terrifying to me.

 

00;25;12;11 – 00;25;20;04

Dr. Mona

So you’re telling me that you still have not gotten your big Pharma paychecks, that they tell us that people say that we get for giving vaccines? Sorry.

 

00;25;20;07 – 00;25;21;07

Dr. Flo Rosen

No one.

 

00;25;21;09 – 00;25;42;22

Dr. Mona

Oh my gosh, someone. If you’re not sensing the sarcasm, guys, obviously, Bobby has been a retired pediatrician. She herself has never received any payout. I’m a currently practicing pediatrician. That one is not dying. And every time someone sends it to me, I’m like, how many videos do I need to create on this? And without having to show you my pay stub because I don’t, I will never show my pay stub.

 

00;25;42;22 – 00;26;09;27

Dr. Mona

Only because I think that just gives them more like, oh, look at her, she’s trying to do that and nor should I have to. Like, this is my pay stub. Like I don’t need to show, but like it’s so infuriating. And that is absolutely a concern that there’s so much soapbox of this horrible misinformation around stuff that can be also life or death like meaning, yeah, negative misinformation around vaccinations and not having the balanced discussions that me and you are, you used to have for decades.

 

00;26;09;27 – 00;26;17;09

Dr. Mona

And you I would like to just allude to this. You have been an example of someone who’s seen the power of vaccine programs.

 

00;26;17;11 – 00;26;44;09

Dr. Flo Rosen

I have I have told this story repeatedly, but it is so true. I did my residency at Children’s Hospital Philadelphia and they used to have 12 bed wards, you know, baby Ward, you know, to attend all these different wards, all 12 beds would be filled with somebody with H. Flu disease, Haemophilus influenzae, which caused epiglottis tightness. It caused osteomyelitis, you know, an infection in the bone.

 

00;26;44;09 – 00;27;14;09

Dr. Flo Rosen

It caused sepsis at those kids. All left blind. Yes. Yep. You’re missing a limb. It was horrific. And I remember seeing that all through my residency and just being devastated that these kids were coming in and we were trying our best, giving the right antibiotics. But if it just hap if we got them in too late, you know, they didn’t come to the hospital quickly enough because the parents thought they were getting better.

 

00;27;14;12 – 00;27;46;14

Dr. Flo Rosen

There was nothing we could do. And it was heartbreaking, absolutely heartbreaking. Well, the Haemophilus influenza shot, the Hib shot, came out I believe it was 1982 or 3. My first one was born in 83. I couldn’t wait for him enough to get that shot. I mean, I just couldn’t wait. I was counting the days and within a very short time, you know, five years, certainly ten at most.

 

00;27;46;16 – 00;27;48;13

Dr. Flo Rosen

Each flu disease was wiped out.

 

00;27;48;19 – 00;27;49;09

Dr. Mona

I mean, we no.

 

00;27;49;09 – 00;27;53;27

Dr. Flo Rosen

Longer saw it. I doubt you saw a case of epiglottis in your residence.

 

00;27;53;27 – 00;28;04;26

Dr. Mona

Exactly. And that’s an example of the power of vaccination, which is, again, misinformation out there that we don’t need these we don’t see them. Well guess what? We don’t see them because vaccines did their job. So thank you.

 

00;28;04;29 – 00;28;37;27

Dr. Flo Rosen

It’s scenes. Exactly. And what really upsets me are when parents say they don’t need to vaccinate their child because that disease doesn’t exist anymore. Well, quite honestly, not to quote somebody, but that’s relying on the kindness of strangers because they’re assuming that everybody else will get their vaccines and therefore that disease won’t be there anymore. Not only are we seeing more measles this year than we’ve seen in 20 some years, yeah, but we’re going to start seeing natural polio again.

 

00;28;38;02 – 00;28;43;18

Dr. Flo Rosen

We are going to see more H flu disease. We’re a pneumococcal disease.

 

00;28;43;20 – 00;29;00;06

Dr. Mona

My worries pertussis because there’s a very big movement for anti like the DTaP vaccine. Like there’s certain vaccines that are just getting more of a platform. And DTaP is definitely one of them. And it’s it’s concerning. I mean, the amount of pertussis, especially in Australia, not only in America, but just because of this movement of not vaccinating.

 

00;29;00;09 – 00;29;07;14

Dr. Flo Rosen

Yeah. And it’s terrifying to me. But you know, tie that with, drinking unpasteurized milk.

 

00;29;07;18 – 00;29;08;01

Dr. Mona

Yeah.

 

00;29;08;01 – 00;29;38;10

Dr. Flo Rosen

You know, raw milk. We have the evidence of the danger of doing that. And there are people that are online. Absolutely protesting, you know, that anyone would complain about raw milk. How much better it is for you or better for your immune system and all of that. And yet they have no idea what the pasteurization process is. And it’s somebody actually wrote in that they got raw milk from a farm, they would boil it at home and then that’s what they were doing.

 

00;29;38;16 – 00;30;09;02

Dr. Flo Rosen

Well, yeah, that’s pasteurization. The milk. And people had no idea that that’s what it was. So exactly I, I, and I just as long as we’re on this topic, I just have to add that I find it incredibly upsetting that people are anti-science in general. And, you know, I’m very well trained. I mean, I went to, you know, a world class residency, you know, world class medical school.

 

00;30;09;07 – 00;30;43;14

Dr. Flo Rosen

I got excellent training in my day. And, you know, I keep up with my CMA and get, you know, awards up the wazoo on that. So I know that I’m well-versed in all of this, but I just cannot believe that somebody without a scientific background can read the insert for a vaccine, which is available online, and anybody can read it and take a line out of that, and then make a whole narrative around it about how they understand this.

 

00;30;43;14 – 00;31;12;10

Dr. Flo Rosen

And as pediatricians and doctors, we don’t. We’re just told by Big pharma, you do this, and that’s why you do it. And I find that beyond offensive, not that someone does their homework. I applaud that. I think anyone that you know has concerns should go and do their research. But Doctor Google is not research. And I think when they find the information, what should be the next step is bringing it to their pediatrician.

 

00;31;12;12 – 00;31;14;04

Dr. Mona

Which I would say look at.

 

00;31;14;07 – 00;31;38;27

Dr. Flo Rosen

Yeah. And say I’m concerned about this. Can you explain to me why you are not concerned about this and have a discussion, have the dialog and you know, that would just open up the conversation so much more. But just this assumption with oh I read it and I know it and you don’t immediately prevent the conversation from taking place.

 

00;31;39;03 – 00;31;59;10

Dr. Mona

And Bobby, you’ve probably seen this already, but it’s not even. So what’s happening is that when I joined Vaccine education, vaccine misinformation was there. And it’s gotten really bad right now with the current climate we have. I’m fortunate politically, but what I was also seeing is a lot of misinformation around sleep choices like, very against sleep training, for example.

 

00;31;59;13 – 00;32;23;27

Dr. Mona

Which again, I think me and you both agree that it’s something that we love, but we’re not forcing on anybody. It’s just a good tool to think about, and your, your, your prime example of your son was like, hey, hey, hey, mom, can you come? Okay. And then just so I was starting to see sleep consultants, I started to see, like, physical therapist, speech consult, like speech therapist people trying to sell their products by putting pediatricians down.

 

00;32;23;27 – 00;32;51;13

Dr. Mona

And this is a huge red flag for me. If someone comes out and says, hey, here’s the problem. Your pediatrician doesn’t listen to you. They don’t know what they’re talking about. They don’t have education on this. But guess what I do? I’m the person you need by my course. That is not an a way to sell things. In my mind, you should be able to sell a product without having to put somebody else down, is my philosophy and I don’t mind people selling things like this is an economy and we gotta, you know, you gotta make a living.

 

00;32;51;13 – 00;33;07;01

Dr. Mona

Fine. I sell courses, but I will never put a peer or someone else down that’s educated in their expertise to say this person doesn’t know as much as I do, that is not that’s so offensive, I believe. Right. Like, oh, I am not the expert.

 

00;33;07;01 – 00;33;15;17

Dr. Flo Rosen

Yeah, I got that immediately after Trent’s rolling over. Because Ivan had a pet. Go on.

 

00;33;15;18 – 00;33;16;15

Dr. Mona

Oh I’m sure.

 

00;33;16;16 – 00;33;37;18

Dr. Flo Rosen

And point out how this was obviously not normal that an eight day old was rolling over him. You said hey. Yeah. He had tension. He had toward a cordless. He had a hyper Tonya the list goes on and on. I will tell you, after that video was made, Trent did not roll over again once until he was almost three months.

 

00;33;37;20 – 00;34;00;23

Dr. Flo Rosen

So I found that hilarious. And quite frankly, Trent was perfectly healthy. Yes. Not have torticollis did not have hyper tone. Yeah. And I actually had to do a video saying to everybody, look guys, I appreciate, you know, people looking out and being concerned about something, but let me tell you what’s going on. And I think, well, there’s two parts to this.

 

00;34;00;23 – 00;34;53;13

Dr. Flo Rosen

One is exactly what you said putting down someone else. Is it particularly making someone doubt that their pediatrician has any experience in evaluating a child’s neurologic status, their muscle tone status, their developmental status is just dead wrong because every pediatrician on the planet spends their residency learning all of that. So that’s the first part of that. The other part is, and now I forgot what I was going to say, but it was, about not putting someone down and also, you know, armchair diagnosis was the other point that the number of people that will comment online about someone else’s child, I think is very hurtful, but particularly if somebody is a speech therapist,

 

00;34;53;13 – 00;35;33;25

Dr. Flo Rosen

a physical therapist and occupational therapist, you know, we work with all of those. Yes, we are a team. And if a pediatrician sees a developmental concern or a parent raises a developmental concern, what’s going to happen next is they’re going to be referred to the right person right now. You that properly. And so I think that it’s just so wrong to then be putting down other members of this team because you’re the only one that can, you know, solve this problem is so inappropriate and so unfair to parents.

 

00;35;34;00 – 00;35;53;09

Dr. Mona

Yeah. And it again divides more than we. And we’re not dividing anybody here. And I mean, in my real life I wouldn’t talk to my peers like that. So I’m I’m not doing that online either. And I love you know. And I think what I’m seeing also is this culture of finding the balance of needing to intervene and needing to wait it out.

 

00;35;53;09 – 00;36;16;16

Dr. Mona

And I think you have probably seen this too, that there are some things that just from my experience and my relationship with my family is in my office like, and this goes down to that developmental concern, right? I will say, hey, look, I’m liking this. I’m not liking this, but I think when I see a lot of creators in the subspecialties and development online, they over pathologic pathologize everything, that everything is a problem.

 

00;36;16;16 – 00;36;32;09

Dr. Mona

You got to get this checked out immediately. And I’m not going to say that there are situations where I need to get torticollis checked out. There’s situations where I am concerned about this, but I think the beauty that I love to say about being a pediatrician is that we are able to zoom out. Does that mean we miss things sometimes, yes.

 

00;36;32;09 – 00;36;49;12

Dr. Mona

But we also the best pediatricians in my mind, have really good anticipatory guidance and know when to be concerned, when to come back and have that conversation right so that I’m not going to miss something. I’m going to say, hey, look, I don’t love that your child is leaning on this side and I’m seeing some flattening. Can you make sure we do X, Y, and Z?

 

00;36;49;15 – 00;37;10;29

Dr. Mona

We’ll reassess. Do I need to send that family to seven different people right now? And all these people know I want to have the tools, but I want to also have that balance of like, do we need help? Do we need to wait it out? And that goes for so many things, not just development but behavior. With picky eating, it’s like give, but it also means giving the education.

 

00;37;10;29 – 00;37;26;27

Dr. Mona

And I think you probably can see that we end up a lot of times people can’t see the forest through the trees. They end up just getting so hyper focused on like, this is an issue. This is a problem. If you don’t fix it, your child’s not going to walk. If you don’t fix the fact that your child’s not crawling, they’re going to have issues with using a fork down the line.

 

00;37;26;27 – 00;37;39;29

Dr. Mona

I’m like, what? Like you just probably saw those patients, but I can tell you that that’s not the general population. It may be 1 in 100, but I need you to know that not everyone is dealing with pathology, and I think that’s what’s happening. A lot of.

 

00;37;40;01 – 00;38;19;16

Dr. Flo Rosen

Yeah, I think that’s absolutely true. And again, that’s social media. Yeah. It’s it’s making every deviation pathological. And I think the area where that is most prominent is in terms of diagnosing autism. And I think it is so important to stress to parents that normal development is on a spectrum, just as autism is on a spectrum and milestones are there so that they can, you know, milestone checklists, you know, can raise a red flag if a child isn’t doing something.

 

00;38;19;16 – 00;38;45;14

Dr. Flo Rosen

And yes, that means you need to keep your eye on it and you need to see whether that’s going to, you know, develop over time. But the fact is, if a child is meeting, you know, 90% of milestones and in fact is ahead, let’s say in gross motor, they’re walking at nine months. I mean, the kid is climbing at a year, you know, doing great, but may not be saying words at 15 months.

 

00;38;45;16 – 00;39;10;04

Dr. Flo Rosen

Well, I’d like to see some words at 15 months, but do I think there’s a problem waiting just until 18 months to see if those words develop, and to really give parents tools on how to work with their child, you know, reading to them, asking questions about what they’re reading, you know, naming things is there, and there are things that can be done in that interim which will not hurt the child.

 

00;39;10;06 – 00;39;31;14

Dr. Flo Rosen

So I think that it is very much a balance, and I think that’s what pediatricians are trained to do. But that doesn’t mean you ignore if somebody is meeting a milestone, you certainly have to, you know, market, keep it in your head. But I think, as you said, there are things that can be done in the meantime to see if that’s going to evolve.

 

00;39;31;16 – 00;39;41;20

Dr. Flo Rosen

And I think with autism, that’s the same thing. There are, signs that are attributed to autism that are also normal.

 

00;39;41;25 – 00;39;42;16

Dr. Mona

Yeah.

 

00;39;42;18 – 00;40;05;09

Dr. Flo Rosen

And so what you need to do is see if over time, those things kind of drop out and you see different behaviors take their place. And that fits more your typically developing child. Or if you see that not only are those behaviors not dropping, but that child is, you know, getting further behind and falling, you know, behind in social aspects.

 

00;40;05;09 – 00;40;33;11

Dr. Flo Rosen

And then obviously you think more about autism. And, you know, I was asked a question recently online about whether 18 months was too early to diagnose autism. And my answer was really, kind of yes, but because development is on a spectrum. Right. And I think, you know, if there are concerns raise you can, you know, go to speech therapy, you go to the therapist, start the therapies.

 

00;40;33;13 – 00;40;56;11

Dr. Flo Rosen

And if those behaviors drop out, okay, if they don’t, then you’ve gained the benefit of intervening early in a child in a way that may help them much more down the road. So I never against getting help, but I think making every point, I think just being online makes every parent nervous.

 

00;40;56;13 – 00;41;27;16

Dr. Mona

Now let’s take a quick break to hear from our sponsors who support helps us keep bringing you this show. Oh, absolutely. And it comes with sleep. It comes with milestones. And to be fair, there are many accounts out there that are not putting pediatricians down, and I encourage you, whenever you’re consuming information for our listeners, if you’re finding that someone is putting down a professional, whether it’s their peers consistently, whether it’s another profession like a pediatrician or a pediatrician putting down pets all the time, like, I mean, this is us having a conversation.

 

00;41;27;16 – 00;41;47;27

Dr. Mona

But like, if you’re constantly hearing that messaging in their education, you got a question. Is this person really valuable to need to get information from? Because an educated person that knows their information should not have to put other people down to elevate themselves? This is like human communication. 101 right? Like I do. I think that, yeah, I don’t want to list a great.

 

00;41;47;27 – 00;41;48;28

Dr. Flo Rosen

Buddy who.

 

00;41;48;28 – 00;42;07;21

Dr. Mona

Keeps putting people down like I used to. When I joined social media, I had way more people that I followed right in the space. And then when I started to see repetitive behaviors of these people putting down pediatricians unfollow, unfollow because I’m like, what are you doing here? Like, you have every ability to get this message across without putting us down.

 

00;42;07;21 – 00;42;29;25

Dr. Mona

Are we experts in everything? Absolutely not. But we do know many things and we have gotten trained, and I want to put that to the point that we learn things in residency. But so much of what I’ve learned is also in practice, right? Seeing hundreds and hundreds of patients over for me, ten years, you 40 plus. I mean, the amount of experience we’ve had troubleshooting with families, right.

 

00;42;29;25 – 00;42;49;27

Dr. Mona

Looking at, you know, I waited too long with this kid. Maybe this I’m going to look out for this like I’ve learned so much just by experiencing that ride with my families. And that’s why it’s called practicing medicine. And so when I get very defensive, when people insult our profession because no, no, no, no, no, we are not some dumb people that sit around and do nothing.

 

00;42;49;27 – 00;43;08;22

Dr. Mona

We went through training and we, like you said, we continue to learn the best. Pediatricians are always doing that CME that continuing medical education, which for me, I do all the developmental stuff. I’m always doing development behavior stuff because that’s what I love and I think it’s so valuable. But I love what you just said because it’s true.

 

00;43;08;25 – 00;43;26;10

Dr. Mona

And then my next question and I would love to talk to you more, but I want to ask you about parenting philosophies, because, of course, you know, there has been a rise of all the different labels of parenting, right? Gentle parenting, positive parenting, all this stuff. And I’m sure you’ve seen them come and go in the last 40 years.

 

00;43;26;12 – 00;43;39;16

Dr. Mona

There are a lot of them fall under the umbrella of authority of parenting, which is setting loving, firm boundaries. What do you make of these parenting styles, and do you feel like this can also confuse people when it comes to discipline? And raising children?

 

00;43;39;19 – 00;44;08;13

Dr. Flo Rosen

Yes, I but I have to say it’s interesting. The discipline seems to be a real lightning rod, with parents today, because, look, I didn’t hit my kids. That was out of favor when I raised my kids. I certainly don’t believe in it. Yeah, but I think that for older boomers, they were raised in very authoritarian households where, yes, you do it because I say so.

 

00;44;08;16 – 00;44;09;08

Dr. Mona

Yeah.

 

00;44;09;10 – 00;44;45;10

Dr. Flo Rosen

Well, I understand parents today rebelling against that. They don’t want to raise their kids with that feeling. They don’t want to ever shame their children or, you know, punish their children in a way that’s harmful. So I think that’s a really wonderful thing. But it is such a lightning rod because I think parents, as a result, even if they weren’t raised in an authoritarian home, I think they very much pivot 180 degrees to do gentle parenting.

 

00;44;45;11 – 00;44;45;22

Dr. Mona

 

00;44;45;24 – 00;44;50;17

Dr. Flo Rosen

And I absolutely I, I almost hate that term.

 

00;44;50;19 – 00;44;50;27

Dr. Mona

Yeah.

 

00;44;50;27 – 00;45;15;05

Dr. Flo Rosen

I know because of how misused it is. Yeah. But the truth is I think you should always raise children with empathy and caring. And you want to understand why they’re doing what they’re doing and to help them deal with their emotions. I think that’s the mark of a good parent. I don’t think you have to call it, you know, gentle parent.

 

00;45;15;07 – 00;45;48;03

Dr. Flo Rosen

I think that’s just a very caring, warm, empathetic parent. My problem with people that are following gentle parenting is that gentle parenting, when done the way it’s intended to be done, is really just a matter of making sure that you connect with your child. Yeah, and that you really talk to them when they’re upset about something, figure out why that upset them and how to better handle that next time.

 

00;45;48;05 – 00;45;57;28

Dr. Flo Rosen

The problem is, the way that has been integrated into most parents today is actually, as permissive parents.

 

00;45;57;28 – 00;46;04;10

Dr. Mona

Yes, was waiting for that word. I was like, yes, it’s gone. On another level of not setting boundaries.

 

00;46;04;12 – 00;46;31;23

Dr. Flo Rosen

Well, that’s exactly it. They think that saying no to their child is shaming their child and harming their child, and therefore they they try everything they can to not do that. Yeah. And if they finally lose their patience, they feel guilty because they feel like they’ve failed at being a gentle parent or what they do is they talk their child to death.

 

00;46;31;26 – 00;46;59;10

Dr. Flo Rosen

When a child is, you know, when a two and a half year old is in the midst of a full blown tantrum because you told them no, they, you know, have to, you know, put on their shoes. Talking to them reasonably at that moment is not going to work. And true gentle parenting understands that. But I think the way it’s interpreted by the majority of parents does not understand that.

 

00;46;59;12 – 00;47;36;04

Dr. Flo Rosen

And so I think you have these kids who were raised with no boundaries, no limits. They are not disciplined. And I don’t mean in terms of physical discipline, but they’re not disciplined in terms of being told, no, we can’t do that because it’s not safe. We can do this right. And they just haven’t had those boundaries set. And I really fear that we are raising an entire generation of kids that are going to have absolutely no boundaries.

 

00;47;36;06 – 00;48;06;17

Dr. Flo Rosen

And I think grandparents have a really hard time with this because long before gentle parenting was ever, you know, coined as a term, the grandparents understood this. And if you had an empathetic parent, they did sit you down and talk about things and to see to see some of these discussions. Now, I think for some grandparents, they literally roll their eyes and don’t know what to do with themselves.

 

00;48;06;20 – 00;48;25;16

Dr. Flo Rosen

You know, others, I think, really understand that their child as a parent is just trying to show their child empathy and they applaud what they’re doing. But if they do it without setting limits, that’s not gentle parenting. And that’s really hurting the child.

 

00;48;25;18 – 00;48;45;03

Dr. Mona

And I love that you brought up that the intent of gentle parenting is legit, and it’s not anything innovative, it’s connection based, curiosity based, but it’s how it’s being used, which I think is a big issue. And I see that that and I think it’s a lot of it’s the term, right. You think gentle means that when a parent hears that they are not taking it how it’s supposed to be, and that you still have to set the limit right.

 

00;48;45;08 – 00;48;49;25

Dr. Mona

Most experts in the gentle parenting world will agree that there is, yes, gentle parenting.

 

00;48;49;25 – 00;48;51;05

Dr. Flo Rosen

There should be like there are.

 

00;48;51;05 – 00;49;11;00

Dr. Mona

But then you’re right that so many people hear it and they’re so afraid of their kids being upset with boundaries, their kids being upset with whatever, that they don’t hold boundaries and they don’t. They basically allow the child to do as they will. And the other thing that I’m seeing is that the over validation, right, meaning the validation of feelings, I think is extremely important, don’t get me wrong.

 

00;49;11;08 – 00;49;36;02

Dr. Mona

But what I saw when I started seeing the gentle parenting movement, when I was online, is that this by over validating, I’m seeing a lot of kids that you can’t spend the whole ten minutes with them on the ground all the time. You have other children you can validate but also move things along. And I think sometimes gentle parenting advice that I hear from legit gentle parenting experts are like, you know, you got to validate sit the whole time, time it in.

 

00;49;36;02 – 00;49;56;11

Dr. Mona

And I’m like, that works. In theory. I’m not denying that. But you may not be able to have a kumbaya moment every time. How are we going to move along and why I say this is that I’m worried that we’re we’re raising kids, that in an effort to keep them connected during dysregulation, we are also raising kids that don’t know how to help them, how to rescue themselves as well.

 

00;49;56;12 – 00;50;11;26

Dr. Mona

Like that. Sometimes you can have the connection with mommy, and mommy is going to help you. Mommy’s not going anywhere, but you’re having a moment and I need to just go into the kitchen and take care of something, and I’m going to come check in on you. You’re not alone. You can come with me. You can move on to something else that feels good to you.

 

00;50;11;26 – 00;50;18;01

Dr. Mona

But we may not be able to have the Kumbaya every time you’re upset. And that’s not bad parenting.

 

00;50;18;04 – 00;50;55;06

Dr. Flo Rosen

Well, I agree with you. And I think it actually goes a step further. I think that parents that are totally into what they believe is gentle parenting and validating their kids feelings, they feel that that takes precedence over everything else. Yeah. And quite frankly, I think you have to be sensitive to the environment that you’re in. You know, if you are a child, you know, if you’re on an airplane, you’re in it can find space, but you literally can’t.

 

00;50;55;06 – 00;51;16;21

Dr. Flo Rosen

You know, there’s nothing that you can really do there. People on the plane have to understand you’re doing your best to keep your child occupied and happy. But it’s a horrible environment. It’s a scary environment. You’re in a closed space. Kids are going to cry. They are going to scream. They’re going to be having a tantrum. And I think everybody on the plane needs to understand that.

 

00;51;16;21 – 00;51;36;09

Dr. Flo Rosen

That can’t be helped. But if you’re in a restaurant and people are there trying to have a nice meal or you’re in a movie theater and people, you know, are trying to watch a movie and your child is acting out, you know, well, it’s nice that you want to validate your child’s feelings that you’re not going to buy the more you know.

 

00;51;36;11 – 00;51;58;23

Dr. Flo Rosen

Yeah. Corn, but I think what you need to do in that situation is remove your child. Yes. And that doesn’t mean that, you know, you should. You know, fear what other people think or what other people say. But I think that you have to understand that you need to do what you need to do for your child, but you also have to be aware of how it’s affecting other people.

 

00;51;58;26 – 00;52;18;15

Dr. Mona

Absolutely. And I had recently posted a video of like, my son loves to dance at restaurants, right? And I allow him to dance at restaurants when there is not. He’s not going to knock someone else’s glass down, right? Like I’m not going to let him dance next to a table that’s trying to enjoy their dinner. But if there’s an empty area, I can’t use that example because I love my kids being kids, right?

 

00;52;18;15 – 00;52;36;20

Dr. Mona

He likes to move his body, but I also think that we should respect, again at a dining experience. Right now, if we’re at a playground and everyone’s running around and that’s a different story, but that’s when it comes down to allowing kids to be kids, but also respecting the fact that we are human beings in a world. And would you want someone knocking down your water glass that you spent?

 

00;52;36;25 – 00;52;53;10

Dr. Mona

You know you’re there for an experience and now a kid is knocking it down. And a child isn’t discipline or a parent isn’t disciplining them by discipline. Must remember it’s not punishment, it’s teaching. Hey, Ryan, you know, when we’re in a restaurant, we can’t dance. We can’t stand next to someone who has a water glass there. So let’s come over here.

 

00;52;53;15 – 00;53;17;13

Dr. Mona

No punishment needed. I’m teaching him how to be a human being because that is what parenting is, right? And that’s not. And that’s not interfering with being a kid. That’s just human nature. I mean, we got to do that. And I think you’re right. I think a lot of parents forget that we can have that balance of raising a kid and allowing them to be children, but also respecting the fact that there’s a time and a place and you need to make that parent moment decision on what are you going to do right now?

 

00;53;17;13 – 00;53;32;22

Dr. Mona

Are you going to let them have the tantrum here? Are you going to let them kick everybody you know around, or are you going to take it to a corner and talk to them and do the connection that we’re talking about and de-escalate and move forward? This is such a great conversation, Mike. I, like I said I could talk to you for hours.

 

00;53;32;22 – 00;53;51;03

Dr. Mona

Most of my guests, I come on, I’m like, let’s just do our own podcast together. Like, these are great conversations are happening. So I guess my last question for you is, you know, trends come and go, but some truths very much endure. So if you could pass along one lesson from your years in practice that you believe will always matter in raising healthy, grounded kids, what would that be?

 

00;53;51;05 – 00;54;20;08

Dr. Flo Rosen

Well, I think we’ve alluded to it a bunch of times. I think it’s being very empathetic to your child. I think growing up is hard. Yeah. You know, every day there’s a million new things being thrown at a child and they’re integrating all of that and they’re learning how to function in the world. And I think just the more support and love that you can give them, you know, the unconditional love is what’s most important for every child.

 

00;54;20;08 – 00;54;31;00

Dr. Flo Rosen

And if you raise your child in a loving home where they know you love them, they know you care about them, that child is going to do okay, because that’s the most important thing.

 

00;54;31;03 – 00;54;47;20

Dr. Mona

I love that that unconditional love, peace is that that one phrase that I just always love to hear. Bobby, thank you so much. This is such an amazing conversation. Okay, so where can people go to stay connected, see your videos, see your explanations. When people call you old school because you’re not, like I need where are they?

 

00;54;47;20 – 00;54;49;00

Dr. Mona

Where can they go to stay connected?

 

00;54;49;07 – 00;55;00;25

Dr. Flo Rosen

Well I’m at I’m ask Bobby be BBC and I’m on Instagram and TikTok and there will be a book coming out sometime, hopefully in the next year.

 

00;55;00;27 – 00;55;20;29

Dr. Mona

I am so glad and I want you to come on. When that book comes out, we will. Obviously, we already hashed out so many things here, but I cannot wait to dive deeper into maybe some ideas that we did not discuss today so that we can get that book into more hands. Your wisdom. Thank you. As I always say, I look up to all of my colleagues, especially those that have more experience than I do, and you are one of those people.

 

00;55;20;29 – 00;55;34;26

Dr. Mona

So although although we are peers in the social media space, you know, I, I do love to learn from you, as I love to learn from all of my, my colleagues. So thank you so much for all the years of service to the pediatric world and what you’re doing online.

 

00;55;34;28 – 00;55;39;18

Dr. Flo Rosen

Well, thank you and thank you for having me.

 

00;55;39;20 – 00;55;58;26

Dr. Mona

I really love this conversation because I love learning from people who have more experience than me. But I also very much appreciate when those same people are willing to learn from those that may have fresh new ideas. Conversations like this remind me why I started this podcast in the first place. Parenting is not supposed to be a solo act.

 

00;55;59;04 – 00;56;19;28

Dr. Mona

It’s a long chain of wisdom passed from generation to generation, mixed with what we’re learning right now. And when we take the humility to learn from each other, everyone wins. If there’s one thing I hope you hold onto from this episode, it’s this you don’t have to choose between modern parenting and old school wisdom. Your child benefits most when you can.

 

00;56;19;28 – 00;56;49;03

Dr. Mona

Blend both respect feelings, set steady limits, filter to the noise, and trust that a warm home and clear guidance will take your child far. Before you go. Please do what I asked. Subscribe and download this episode. Just go ahead and download all your favorite episodes. That is what helps the show continue to grow and our show be able to reach more parents who need support and share the episode on your stories and tag at PedsDoctalk at the PedsDocTalk podcast and ask Bubbie.

 

00;56;49;05 – 00;56;59;17

Dr. Mona

We love seeing what resonated with you and who you’re sharing it with. Thank you for being here, for listening with an open mind, and for showing up for your kids in the ways that matter. I’ll chat with you all next time.