In this Follow-Up episode, Dr. Mona draws on her own past experiences with burnout and mental health struggles to offer practical tools for turning around overwhelming, negative days. Acknowledging that bad days are bound to happen, she shares how to break out of a negative spiral, regulate your nervous system, and reset your mindset before a tough day ends—or grant yourself permission to call it a “throwaway day” and start fresh tomorrow.

What’s in this episode:

• Accepting Hard Feelings: Why resisting anxiety, sadness, or frustration makes it persist, and how simply acknowledging your emotions helps you move through them faster.

• Adjusting Expectations vs. Reality: How to reduce internal friction when a day isn’t going as planned, recognizing that difficult seasons are temporary.

• The “5-Year Rule”: A practical brain hack to determine if a stressor is worth dwelling on, limiting your focus to five minutes if it won’t matter in five years.

• Deep Core Breathing: How stress causes shallow breathing and how deep belly breaths regulate your body.

• Reframing Thoughts: How taking control of your internal monologue breaks the cycle of negative thinking.

• Physical & Environmental Resets: Quick actionable steps to shift your energy, including changing your scenery, getting endorphins through music or laughter, and using physical touch like a hug.

• The “Cancel Out” Journaling Practice: An end-of-day exercise to reframe tough moments by writing down what caused anxiety alongside a positive counterexample or lesson learned.

Want more? Listen to the full, ⁠original episode⁠.

Our podcasts are also now on YouTube. If you prefer a video podcast with closed captioning, check us out there and⁠ ⁠subscribe to PedsDocTalk⁠⁠.

Get trusted pediatric advice, relatable parenting insights, and evidence-based tips delivered straight to your inbox—join thousands of parents who rely on the PDT newsletter to stay informed, supported, and confident.⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠Join the newsletter⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠!

Shop Dr. Mona’s favorite products: ⁠https://shopmy.us/shop/pedsdoctalk⁠ (paid link)

And don’t forget to follow⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠@pedsdoctalkpodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ on Instagram—our new space just for parents looking for real talk and real support.

We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on the⁠ ⁠PedsDocTalk Podcast Sponsorships⁠⁠ page of the website. 

00;00;00;02 – 00;00;22;14

Dr. Mona

Welcome back to the follow up. It’s Doctor Mona, and this is a series on the PedsDocTalk podcast, where we revisit a past episode in less time than takes you to talk yourself out of a bad mood, which lesbians is usually longer than we’d like. I’m rerunning this one for a reason that is more personal than usual, but I also do get personal on the show.

 

00;00;22;17 – 00;00;41;24

Dr. Mona

This episode was recorded during the pandemic, and I’m going to be honest with you, that was a really dark time for me. I had depression at some points. I had suicidal thoughts and I remember airing episodes like this one. This is part of the finding Joy series, because even just talking into a microphone alone in my room became part of what helped me heal.

 

00;00;41;29 – 00;00;58;06

Dr. Mona

And I’m bringing it back now. Not because I’m in that place today, and I’m very grateful for that. It’s because I know life still gets hard. And I know some of you are in a stretch right now where nothing seems to be going right, and you are wondering if it’s just you and just a reminder it is not.

 

00;00;58;08 – 00;01;18;09

Dr. Mona

Here’s the hard truth we cannot always explain why a day or week or month or season is just falling apart. Sometimes there’s no reason, no big trigger, just a pile up. And when that happens, a lot of us either fight the feeling or drown in it. And there is a middle path. And it starts with something as simple as noticing your feelings.

 

00;01;18;12 – 00;01;46;26

Dr. Mona

A quick and important note before you continue. This episode is not a replacement for real support. If you are deep in depression or anxiety, those moments need more than a podcast. They need a professional, a person, a plan that’s personalized. What this episode offers is smaller than that, but what I think is important it’s a reset, a set of tools for the hard days and hard weeks offered in solidarity from someone who has been in a much lower place and has found her way back.

 

00;01;46;29 – 00;02;11;08

Dr. Mona

In this episode, I get into why accepting a hard feeling instead of fighting it helps you move through it. Simple resets like changing your scenery, moving your body or a hug, and why they work on your nervous system, not just your mood. When you’re having a hard season and a journaling practice that I call a cancel out. If today is one of those days, or this season is one of those seasons for you, I hope this feels like a warm hug.

 

00;02;11;11 – 00;02;28;02

Dr. Mona

Or maybe you’ll listen to this and find yourself in one of those seasons. So you know what? I need to listen to Doctor Mona because she’s been there and I just want to hear what she says. But if what you are carrying feels bigger than a reset, please reach out. The 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline is there for exactly this.

 

00;02;28;02 – 00;02;52;22

Dr. Mona

Call or text 988 or chat at 988 lifeline talk. Talking to someone a real person can be the first step forward. And remember, if this episode resonated with you, make sure to download the full episode wherever you access podcasts and make sure to share this on social and tag PedsDocTalk and the PedsDocTalk podcast. When you do.

 

00;02;52;24 – 00;03;13;04

Dr. Mona

I have had these days, from time to time they can seem very overwhelming. You know, you woke up on the wrong side of the bed, your child woke up on the wrong side of the crib and everything. Just seems to snowball in a negative way. It doesn’t feel good when these days happen, and I do believe that we can reset a negative day before it ends.

 

00;03;13;07 – 00;03;39;12

Dr. Mona

And if by chance it does end and it’s been a negative day or just a really difficult day, we can call it a throwaway day. That’s okay to say that. And you can start over fresh tomorrow. But I do believe that before the day ends, we can end the day on a positive note, or even just look for the positive so that we can start fresh and reset that negative spiral that we sometimes find ourselves in.

 

00;03;39;14 – 00;04;08;02

Dr. Mona

Remember that if you feel like you’re spiraling for a long period, I’m an advocate of always getting professional counseling if you need it. You matter, and I don’t want you to ever feel like you’re alone, or that you have to handle life’s ups and downs all by yourself. Sometimes you need help. This episode is going over those moments, maybe a day or two, or a few days in a row where you just feel like the energy in your life is just so negative and you’re like, how do I get out of this?

 

00;04;08;05 – 00;04;29;28

Dr. Mona

Now, many times in our life, there may not be a reason as to why these things are happening, obviously, right? Negativity and bad things happen to us, but it’s when we’re starting to feel and you tell yourself, wow, why is everything just seem to be going wrong lately? And it really has a lot to do with reframing, resetting, and trying to turn around this negative energy that may be plaguing our lives.

 

00;04;30;00 – 00;04;47;22

Dr. Mona

So how can we reset or turnaround a day, or a week or period in our life that seems to be crumbling? And again, I know you’ve all been there. Sometimes you’re just like, wow, is it just me that’s going through this? Why does it seem like nothing’s going right for me? So first, it’s accepting that it’s okay for things not to be going.

 

00;04;47;22 – 00;05;08;08

Dr. Mona

How you envisioned and not fighting the emotion that you’re feeling. So just say you’re feeling anxious. Then you start feeling anxious about your anxiety. And that’s just a whole other realm of anxiety. Accept the feeling and don’t resist it. So if you’re feeling upset, if you’re feeling sad, if you’re feeling anxious, you want to say, hey, this is a moment I’m feeling anxious.

 

00;05;08;12 – 00;05;30;06

Dr. Mona

I’m feeling sad. I’m feeling overwhelmed. The more you resist things, the more it’s going to persist. But when you accept it as a reality, you’re more likely to move through that emotion quicker rather than stifling it down and saying, no, no, no, I’m not anxious, I’m not tired. I’m not overwhelmed. Accept it and say, yes, I’m feeling this way so you can move forward to the next positive feeling that’s in your life.

 

00;05;30;09 – 00;05;50;16

Dr. Mona

The next thing is adjusting expectation in reality. Remember, when these two things are not meeting, that’s when we get friction. That’s when we feel uneasy. Maybe we expected things to go a certain way in our day or in your life, and then that’s not reality. So sometimes it’s accepting that, hey, this is not my reality right now. And that is also okay.

 

00;05;50;18 – 00;06;16;16

Dr. Mona

My expectation is not matching what my reality is. And this may be something that is happening right now, but it’s not forever. The next thing is letting it go. Whatever it is that’s causing you angst. Think about if it’s going to matter in five years. If it’s not going to matter in five years, you need to actively tell your brain to spend no more than five minutes thinking about it.

 

00;06;16;19 – 00;06;34;25

Dr. Mona

When I say actively tell your brain, sometimes it may be going into a different room and telling yourself you are feeling some way about this certain feeling or event. Is it really going to matter in five years? If it’s not going to matter in five years? You need to tell yourself, I can be upset about it right now.

 

00;06;34;27 – 00;06;58;06

Dr. Mona

I can be in the moment, but I am going to move forward from this. You also need to focus on taking a deep breath when you feel like things are crumbling. When we’re stressed and anxious, we forget to breathe. And I am guilty of this too. I feel like when I’m stressed, my breath is in my chest rather than being in my stomach.

 

00;06;58;09 – 00;07;17;24

Dr. Mona

Think about this from breathing being the first thing that we do when we’re born. When you’re born, you have to take a breath in to live. And it’s the core and foundation of all that we do. That’s why when you hear all these mindfulness people and meditation people, they always talk about their breath. They always go back to the breath.

 

00;07;17;27 – 00;07;37;05

Dr. Mona

And it is really important. And you’re going to notice that when you’re feeling overwhelmed, you’re feeling anxious, you’re feeling like those days are crumbling and it’s just a negativity cycle. You probably are realizing that your breaths are more shallow when you want to make them deeper. So focus on breathing deep into your core. So I want you to put a hand on your belly.

 

00;07;37;12 – 00;07;58;14

Dr. Mona

And when you’re feeling overwhelmed, or that you’re having a negative day, you need to take those deep breaths in where you feel your belly move when you breathe. The next thing has to do with focusing on the power of thought. We attract the thoughts we want. So if you are in this feeling of this sucks, this sucks, this sucks.

 

00;07;58;14 – 00;08;22;00

Dr. Mona

I just hate this. Everything is going bad. I hate my life, I hate this. Everything sucks versus wow, I’m really tired right now, but how can I reset this? Wow, I’m really tired and I’m feeling really overwhelmed. But let me reframe and focus on some things that are going really well right now. How can I get through those moments of negativity and overwhelm that all of us face?

 

00;08;22;03 – 00;08;40;17

Dr. Mona

When you start to get into that cycle of this sucks, this sucks, my life sucks, my life sucks. Not only are you getting into that woe is me mentality that everything sucks, but you’re not able to break out of that cycle. And so by doing this, by being in control over your thought, you are now having power over the situation.

 

00;08;40;19 – 00;08;58;22

Dr. Mona

Our thoughts become our reality. So holding onto a thought for more than 45 seconds or longer, that is what we’re feeding energy into. So if you for 45 seconds are constantly saying this sucks and I hate this and I hate this, that is going to be your vibe. But if you for 45 seconds say, oh, you know what?

 

00;08;58;22 – 00;09;19;17

Dr. Mona

Today was a really beautiful day and that I saw the sun shine and I saw a rainbow. And it really was really nice. Your brain is focusing on positive energy and you’re going to get more positive energy out of that moment. This doesn’t mean that what you’re going through isn’t difficult, right? I mean, I think there’s a misconception that will know sometimes life is really hard.

 

00;09;19;19 – 00;09;39;04

Dr. Mona

Absolutely. I mean, I’ve been through it too, right? You’ve had some really tough days, some tough times. It’s not about being toxic positivity. It’s about understanding that, hey, I’m going to really try to get out of this negative spiral of everything is bad, everything is bad. Everything is bad because our mind can control a lot of our outcomes.

 

00;09;39;04 – 00;10;06;28

Dr. Mona

And this practice, you know, is really about channeling positive energy in your mind to reset negative energy. It’s replacing negative vibes and negative energy in your brain, in your life, so that more positive energy can come in. Energy is contagious. So how can we do this if you’re struggling with the mindset, right. So this is a lot of training in terms of the breathing, in terms of really trying to tell yourself that, okay, I’m not going to let this negative spiral control me.

 

00;10;07;01 – 00;10;25;17

Dr. Mona

So what other things can you do? Number one, change the scenery. So if you’re feeling like you’re in that negative spiral where your kids are throwing tantrums, you are about to meltdown, get out of the house or do something different or change the scenery. So if you’re stuck indoors and you’re in the kitchen or in the living room, maybe go to a different room.

 

00;10;25;17 – 00;10;46;29

Dr. Mona

Open the windows, get light in. Changing the scenery can really help because sometimes energy exists in certain parts of our house. So if you have some negative energy, sometimes that can exist in your living room or your kitchen at that moment. So by changing the scenery, you are now changing your energy. The next one has to do with getting those endorphins going.

 

00;10;46;29 – 00;11;20;00

Dr. Mona

So dancing, putting on music or laughing. This is a no brainer. These things are going to really help boost your mood and bring positivity. I mean, tell me the last time you danced or laughed and you didn’t feel good and you didn’t bring some positivity. So when you’re having one of those really hard days with your children and you just feel like everything is crumbling, tell yourself, this is not going to be how we end this day and try to reset it with putting on some music, laughing, doing something that brings you joy or your children joy or whoever is in that mood.

 

00;11;20;02 – 00;11;36;24

Dr. Mona

And that brings me to the next tip, which is physical touch. So if you’re feeling tapped out, if you’re feeling like you’re in that negative spiral, giving a loved one a hug, giving your child a hug, physical touch like a hug, that can really help reset a negative day. Now, if this isn’t your love language, you can just bypass this.

 

00;11;36;27 – 00;12;01;03

Dr. Mona

But I think sometimes we forget the power of physical touch like a hug, because it can really help with an emotional boost that we all need. Now, if you’ve done all this, you know you tried to change scenery, you put on music, you have gone outside, you know you’ve done all these things to try to reset the energy that you’re in physically at the end of a negative day where you just felt like things were spiraling out of control.

 

00;12;01;06 – 00;12;29;08

Dr. Mona

My goal is that you don’t carry that energy to the next day. Now, this isn’t a foolproof method, but we can reframe and reset at the end of a negative day. You can call it a throwaway day, like I say, but I don’t want you to just dismiss it and not think about the emotions from that day. So one of the biggest practices that I do after a day that was really tough, that I felt like things were spiraling and I couldn’t reset because those days will happen, is I practice something called a cancel this journaling exercise.

 

00;12;29;10 – 00;12;52;15

Dr. Mona

So what this means is that you write down all the things in that day that caused you angst or worry or anxiety, and you give a counterexample or something that is good about that situation or what you’re learning from that situation. So it’s a practice of reframing at the end of your day, when you are in a calm place.

 

00;12;52;18 – 00;12;57;24

Dr. Mona

And that’s your follow up, just a small dose of the real, relatable and eye opening conversations we.

 

00;12;57;24 – 00;13;01;28

Dr. Mona

Love to have here. If you smiled, nodded, or had an

 

00;13;02;00 – 00;13;05;01

Dr. Mona

Moment, go ahead and download, follow and share this episode.

 

00;13;05;01 – 00;13;07;19

Dr. Mona

With a friend. Let’s grow this village together.

 

00;13;07;21 – 00;13;11;24

Dr. Mona

For more everyday parenting wins and real talk. Hang out with us on Instagram.

 

00;13;11;29 – 00;13;16;07

Dr. Mona

At the PedsDocTalk podcast. Want more? Dive into the full.

 

00;13;16;07 – 00;13;18;27

Dr. Mona

Episode and more at PedsDocTalk.com.

 

00;13;18;28 – 00;13;21;11

Dr. Mona

Because parenting is better with support.

 

00;13;21;13 – 00;13;25;11

Dr. Mona

And remember, consistency is key. Humor is medicine and.

 

00;13;25;11 – 00;13;29;18

Dr. Mona

Follow ups are everything. I’m Doctor Mona. See you next time for your next dose.