Mindfulness seems to be the IT word lately, but why does it feel so daunting and overwhelming? I welcome Helene Kusman who is a mom, yoga teacher, reiki healer, with a masters in education to discuss how to be a mindful mama and why it helps us in a chaotic world.

We discuss:

• Misconceptions about mindfulness
• Building mindfulness into your life
• Mindfulness tips with newborns and beyond

 

Helene Kusman
Do Helene’s 5 day Meditation Challenge, find out more at helenekusman.com or connect on Instagram @helenekusman

00;00;01;02 – 00;00;20;20

Helene Kusman

That you have to have a lot of time. People feel like when they’re really rushed or really busy or life is crazy, that they don’t have time for mindfulness and really, those are the times that we need it the most. Those are the times that we need to be able to breathe. We need to be able to whatever it is that we are moving through, to be present with it.

 

00;00;20;23 – 00;00;50;13

Dr. Mona

Hello everyone. Welcome back to the show. I am so excited that I get to talk to the most amazing guest on the PedsDocTalk podcast. To have conversations about parenthood, child health, development and so much more. Thank you so much for tuning in every week and for being here today with my guest. I am welcoming Helene Hussman, who is a mom, yoga teacher, Reiki healer with a master’s in education who helps both parents and kids to practice self-care through accessible.

 

00;00;50;14 – 00;01;07;00

Dr. Mona

I love that mindfulness, and we’re talking about being a mindful mama when everything around you just seems like it’s a dumpster fire. So how do we get that channel of that mindfulness that I think is so important when just things seem a little bit more chaotic? Thank you so much for joining us today, Helene.

 

00;01;07;03 – 00;01;10;21

Helene Kusman

Yeah. Thank you so much for having me. I’m really excited to be here.

 

00;01;10;23 – 00;01;22;01

Dr. Mona

I’m so excited to have you. I love mindfulness. It’s a huge part of my life, and I love hearing from other people about why it’s important to them. So first introduce yourself and how you got to do what you’re doing now.

 

00;01;22;03 – 00;01;53;27

Helene Kusman

Yeah. So it started off when I was teaching in the public school system. We live in Kentucky now, but when I lived in DC, I started to just informally practice yoga and breathwork with my kindergarten and first grade students, and I noticed how it would really reset them and set them up for a great day. So these are kids who are really high need and at risk, and they come in with a lot going on and just one deep breath would soften them, would change, would make them really available for learning.

 

00;01;54;00 – 00;02;20;25

Helene Kusman

And so that was before I was a parent myself. Fast forward later on. Now I have two kids. I have a three and a half year old and an eight week old. And so I’ve been able to see firsthand the benefits of kids and then also with myself and my own mindfulness practice. So after I had my first son three and a half years ago, I suffered from postpartum anxiety, and I kind of had a two step approach to it.

 

00;02;20;25 – 00;02;45;13

Helene Kusman

I did go on medication, and I also said, I’m going to learn the tools that I need for myself to really deepen my mindfulness, deepen my yoga practice, did a yoga teacher training. I was previously just trained to work with kids with yoga and breathwork, did my training for adults as well. That I could practice it in my own life, and then I wanted to be able to practice it even more with my son and now with my two kids.

 

00;02;45;13 – 00;03;07;21

Helene Kusman

Hopefully when Gram’s a little older too. So it’s just been really cool for me to see both how mindfulness and breath work is really powerful with kids, and can be powerful with ourselves as moms, and kind of just that relationship of practicing with them. And that connection has been really amazing.

 

00;03;07;23 – 00;03;25;19

Dr. Mona

I love hearing your story and how you came to love mindfulness. I also have a very love relationship with mindfulness. I’ve been I did research actually. I don’t know if a lot of my listeners know this. I did my undergraduate research on mindfulness and the effect it has on medical conditions, including people living with HIV and Aids aging.

 

00;03;25;19 – 00;03;43;08

Dr. Mona

We looked at the effects of mindfulness. So not only do I love mindfulness for myself, but I’ve seen the medical benefits it has in so many ways. And yeah, I continue to fall in and out of it. I think, like you, there was a time where I was not really staying on top of my mindfulness practice, and I realized this isn’t really helpful to me.

 

00;03;43;08 – 00;04;05;17

Dr. Mona

And then I tap back into it. And now I’m kind of in a more flow state of like having this in my life on a regular basis, not just doing it when things are quote unquote, it’s hitting the fan, but really just realizing how important it is to incorporate this into our life on a regular basis. So from your experience, you know, from obviously what you’ve learned as from your professional experience and also the work that you do with other people.

 

00;04;05;22 – 00;04;11;02

Dr. Mona

What would be some of the misconceptions you hear about mindfulness and how people approach mindfulness?

 

00;04;11;05 – 00;04;31;07

Helene Kusman

That’s a really good question. And really important because I think that those misconceptions we have, or those stories that we tell ourselves, it can be our biggest barrier to something amazing, like mindfulness. So one misconception that I hear all the time from my yoga clients is that they’re bad at it. They say, I love yoga, but I’m so bad at mindfulness.

 

00;04;31;07 – 00;04;48;24

Helene Kusman

I’m so bad at meditation. I just, I feel like I can’t shut my brain down. So that’s a misconception, because a lot of us have that problem where we feel like we’re bad at it, and that’s just part of the journey. So I’m kind of shifting that mindset to thinking of mindfulness, thinking of meditation as a journey or as an experience.

 

00;04;48;24 – 00;05;08;16

Helene Kusman

You know, you can’t be good or bad, and it’s not something that you can achieve or you know that you can be successful with. I would say I think that those are all judgments that we create. But I think really being able to incorporate mindfulness is it’s really a journey and experience and whatever that looks like for you is perfect.

 

00;05;08;19 – 00;05;26;07

Helene Kusman

So that is one big misconception I would say. Another one is that you have to have a lot of time. People feel like when they’re really rushed or really busy or life is crazy, that they don’t have time for mindfulness. And really, those are the times that we need it the most. Those are the times that we need to be able to breathe.

 

00;05;26;09 – 00;05;45;23

Helene Kusman

We need to be able to whatever it is that we are moving through, be present with it. So both of those things are barriers, but I think a lot of us have going on, and sometimes they can just be really easy excuses too. But we can all make mindfulness work if we just know how to do that. Realistically.

 

00;05;45;25 – 00;05;47;07

Dr. Mona

100% agree with that.

 

00;05;47;09 – 00;06;17;19

Helene Kusman

Yeah. So another one is that you have to have a lot of time to. So I just talked about busy phases of your life, but also even just pockets of your time in your day. So I think some people imagine that mindfulness experience is going to be that they have to have a whole hour of their life that they’re going to dedicate to maybe this meditation or this whole gardening experience, or they’re really mindful or just something really elaborate, when it can just take a few seconds or even just a few deep breaths.

 

00;06;17;19 – 00;06;22;24

Helene Kusman

And so you don’t have to have a lot of time for a mindfulness practice.

 

00;06;22;27 – 00;06;42;19

Dr. Mona

Well, it’s so funny you say that because I feel like a lot of not everyone, but there’s a lot of pro mindfulness people on social media and, you know, books and stuff like that who do not have children. And, you know, maybe they’re single or maybe they’re in a relationship, doesn’t matter. But they don’t. Children, they’re like, you know, I wake up at 6 a.m. and I get a workout in, and then I meditate for two hours.

 

00;06;42;19 – 00;07;03;22

Dr. Mona

And then I know a lot of mothers listening. A lot of parents are going to be like, I don’t even have a minute to pee on my own. How am I going to meditate and do that? So I know that that is a misconception, too. And I hear it. A lot of like, people think that mindfulness, like you said, is this big time, sort of like, okay, this is going to be so time intensive that the meditation piece kind of goes in line for what you all said already.

 

00;07;03;22 – 00;07;18;05

Dr. Mona

Like people feel like they can’t do it, that they’re not good at it, like there’s some sort of grade that comes with mindfulness and there’s not. It’s really about the practice, like you said, or that they don’t have time. And with even meditation, if we’re going to include that into mindfulness practice, it doesn’t have to be two hours.

 

00;07;18;05 – 00;07;27;02

Dr. Mona

It’s really understanding that this is as much as you can do. But there’s also different other ways that I know you’re going to go over on how we can kind of build this into our life as well. Right.

 

00;07;27;05 – 00;07;45;25

Helene Kusman

Exactly. So that’s the biggest piece. Yeah. When you can create routines, when you can build mindfulness into what you’re already doing, that’s when it’s going to feel the most authentic to you, and you’ll have the highest motivation to be able to keep it up. So I know exactly what you’re talking about. Yeah, I’ve had to actually unfollow social accounts.

 

00;07;45;25 – 00;08;03;29

Helene Kusman

I feel like since becoming a mom, because they would just make me feel like, oh, it’s all or nothing if I can’t do that, and I don’t have a good self-care practice and just kind of seek out ways or examples that I can incorporate it in a way that’s realistic for busy mom life. But one thing I would say is routines can really help.

 

00;08;03;29 – 00;08;28;02

Helene Kusman

So if you have one part of your day every day that you know you want to be mindful around, and I want to give an example of how to do this with kids, because I know I’m going to talk about that some too. But just an example could be maybe you have a routine with your child where every day after school, after you talk about their day and have a snack or something, you have a mindful journaling practice where they just have a piece of paper.

 

00;08;28;04 – 00;08;55;14

Helene Kusman

And even if they’re drawing something and you’re keeping your own journal and you guys are talking about what you’re doing, that could be a cool routine to set up with kind of a family focus. In terms of a self-care perspective, maybe you could have a routine where you know if you have five minutes after you brush your teeth every morning before the kids wake up, and you do during that, a two minute meditation to take up part of that five minutes, then that could be an example of how to bring in mindfulness.

 

00;08;55;22 – 00;09;10;21

Helene Kusman

I’ll give one more, just example of a routine is maybe as you’re preparing dinner and the kids are watching TV and you just find yourself. Sometimes I find myself in the kitchen while my son’s on the couch watching TV, and I’m like, oh my gosh, it’s quiet in here for a minute. Like, how can I make the most of this?

 

00;09;10;21 – 00;09;31;01

Helene Kusman

But I’m also cooking dinner and I have a million things to do. I’m like, okay, let me just take this moment and breathe, notice what I’m doing, notice what my hands feel like when I’m preparing dinner. Notice what, you know, shapes are of the food or the smells and just incorporate mindfulness into something you’re already doing. When you do feel like you have that quiet moment, even if it’s super busy.

 

00;09;31;04 – 00;09;49;16

Dr. Mona

I love that. And again, you’re like you said, you’re bringing it all into your daily routine and just bringing the principles. You know, we’re going back to meditation. Do you also meditate as part of your mindfulness practice? You’re talking about things that are obviously really, I think, easy to do in a routine. But do you have moments where you actually set aside mindfulness meditation moments?

 

00;09;49;18 – 00;10;13;27

Helene Kusman

Yeah. So for me, I would say when I go through phases where depending on the phase of life, there’s different times that meditation feels like it fits and the best. So I actually have an eight week old, and before he was born, I was doing like a hypnobirthing meditation. So I was kind of taking a chunk of time, even once a week, to do a longer meditation with the Hypnobirthing meditations.

 

00;10;13;27 – 00;10;33;12

Helene Kusman

But then I’ve had other phases in my life, or more so every day I’ll do just like a two minute meditation and never do longer meditations. And then right now, as I’m trying to get back into just a very gentle yoga practice postpartum, I’m finding that since I’ve already carved out that time for self-care, I’m just tacking it on with my yoga practice.

 

00;10;33;12 – 00;10;54;23

Helene Kusman

So at the end, when I’m in Shavasana, just doing a few minutes of a meditation, just kind of watching my breath, something simple like that, noticing how I felt moving my body. Yeah. So those are just examples of how I think some people think you have to have a very rigid routine with meditation and, you know, okay, I’m going to use this app for five minutes every day, every month.

 

00;10;54;23 – 00;11;04;02

Helene Kusman

And if I mess up, then there goes my meditation practice. But you can adapt it to whatever phase of life you’re in and just kind of whatever works based on what you have going on.

 

00;11;04;05 – 00;11;17;15

Dr. Mona

I love that. And you said that you also, you know, the time of recording this, you have an eight week old. So these are also the things that you’ve kind of incorporated, obviously, taking care of that very busy time of naps and feedings to be more mindful, even with an older child and a newborn.

 

00;11;17;17 – 00;11;51;14

Helene Kusman

Exactly. And it looks really different now. So I think one thing I realized is just giving yourself grace, having that self-forgiveness for whatever you thought your self-care practices would look like if they don’t look like it that day, if you were going to get in that yoga practice or that meditation or whatever it was, cooking that new recipe, or you thought the kids are going to be busy or something like that, and you don’t end up having time for just being gentle with yourself, because I think that the frustration we get to when life’s really busy and we don’t get to those things can sometimes counteract any of the benefits.

 

00;11;51;14 – 00;12;04;23

Helene Kusman

So wherever I can fit it in right now, and even if it’s not every day, if it’s every couple of days that helps me to feel really good about it, to just kind of give myself permission to make it look like whatever it’s going to look like right now amidst the chaos.

 

00;12;04;26 – 00;12;09;09

Dr. Mona

I love that. And you also, obviously, how old is your older child again?

 

00;12;09;11 – 00;12;11;01

Helene Kusman

So he is three and a half, three.

 

00;12;11;01 – 00;12;24;28

Dr. Mona

And a half. And then you have a eight week old. Okay. So you said you’ve started to already incorporate mindfulness moments with your three and a half year old. How old was he when you started to do that? And what are some examples of how you kind of incorporate this with your child?

 

00;12;25;01 – 00;12;44;03

Helene Kusman

Yeah, so he was a pretty young baby when we started with this. So I was taking him to a baby yoga class. And then I also was kind of doing some of it on my own at home too, with him, where it’s just incorporated and play, you know, and when we do like tummy time or I’d have him on my back and just kind of be I’d be moving.

 

00;12;44;03 – 00;13;07;28

Helene Kusman

I’d be picking him up and breathing, taking deep breaths and kind of just having fun together and almost modeling some breathing and mindful movement, having my phone put away. I think that’s the biggest thing too, is like anything that we’re doing, mindful when we have the intention of being mindful with our kids, no matter how young they are, because these babies, you can pick up on it, just having your phone away, being totally focused on whatever it is.

 

00;13;08;04 – 00;13;26;01

Helene Kusman

And then as he got older, incorporating breath so if we find a dandelion like I have a video of him even when he was maybe six months old, and I’ve found like a dandelion that I would blow, and then he would laugh and then he would kind of imitate and glow as he got older, like to be an older toddler.

 

00;13;26;01 – 00;13;54;15

Helene Kusman

Then he would blow the dandelions in practice, taking a deep breath or blowing through a straw to kind of practice that breathing and just setting aside those times in nature especially, I think nature makes it really conducive to mindfulness. Where we go on a walk, we have trails by our house just making a point to say, I think modeling, okay, you know, I have my phone put away or we’re turning off the TV, we’re going to do this together, this puzzle or this walk, and we’re just going to focus on this together.

 

00;13;54;17 – 00;14;12;21

Helene Kusman

We’re going to take deep breaths. We’re going to notice, you know, what do you see over there? What does the tree look like? All those things we already do with kids. A lot of times they’re actually mindful practices when that’s the only thing that we’re focusing on at the time. So I just gave, I guess, a lot of different kind of examples of how to do that.

 

00;14;12;21 – 00;14;27;16

Helene Kusman

But I think the biggest thing I would say is it doesn’t have to look one certain way. It’s just that you are focusing with your child and having that intention that you two are being mindful together and pointing it out to them too, so that you can model that.

 

00;14;27;18 – 00;14;44;01

Dr. Mona

And like you said, it’s bringing you back to just things that are in your daily life and routine. Like you were on that walk, you saw dandelion like it’s not taking up so much of our energy or our time. It’s just remembering and being mindful to do it. And it can really impact a child’s life as well as your life too.

 

00;14;44;03 – 00;15;06;11

Helene Kusman

Exactly. And I think that that’s the biggest thing too, is find what your kids already like. So maybe it’s mindful soccer. If you know your kid really likes soccer and you guys are going outside and you’re just putting everything else away, you’re ignoring everything else going on in life and you’re just focusing on that soccer experience together or mindful cooking.

 

00;15;06;16 – 00;15;24;07

Helene Kusman

We cook frozen pizza. Sometimes they make it a mindful experience by just talking about, ooh, let’s look at the textures. Let’s let’s smell it. Let’s do this. Let’s focus on this. So I think it can be anything that you’re already doing with your kids. It’s just setting that intention that it’s going to be a mindful experience.

 

00;15;24;10 – 00;15;53;07

Dr. Mona

I love that and I love that. Again, you’re bringing stuff that is very seemingly mundane but really important in our lives, and they’re part of our life. Like making food. You can be a very mindful experience by talking about what’s there. And you bring up, you know, already you talked about this, but the removal of cell phones, you know, I think when we look at our generation, ever since the iPhone was created in the early 2000s or mid 2000, in terms of how it takes us away from the moment, which is against what mindfulness is and how important that is in parenting.

 

00;15;53;07 – 00;16;12;17

Dr. Mona

You know, I know we are so busy, but it’s when you’re having the time with your child, the cell phone can be put away. Of course, I know we like to take videos and photos, and I think that’s great if that’s what you’re using it for. But while you’re with your child trying to limit as much as can, you know, making it a very mindful experience of, I’m going to put this away and we don’t need this right now.

 

00;16;12;17 – 00;16;33;21

Dr. Mona

If you have a job, you know, I’m very busy with a clinical job in my platform here that I’m going to put this away between 5 and 7. You know, I have a toddler now and it’s really important that he sees that I’m not just on my phone all the time. You know that there is going to be times where I will be on the phone for certain reasons, but that there is protective family time of us just being together and talking about the food that we’re eating or making.

 

00;16;33;21 – 00;16;36;23

Dr. Mona

And I do believe that can really help our children too.

 

00;16;36;26 – 00;17;00;05

Helene Kusman

I love that you have that specific boundary too, of I mean, I put my phone away from 5 to 7 because I think that it’s so hard to just do that without an intention or without setting a goal sometimes, because we do have those times that we do need to look at our phone, whether it’s work or saying communication with family or whatever it is or, you know, I’ll tell my son sometimes I’m ordering groceries right now or I’m checking my email.

 

00;17;00;07 – 00;17;15;09

Helene Kusman

I’m answering a really boring email sometimes so he knows I’m not just mindlessly scrolling and I’m actually doing something that he’s starting to. I mean, he’s three and a half, but he is starting to somewhat understand those things a little bit more and why they might be important to why I’m on my phone. And I’m not just ignoring him.

 

00;17;15;09 – 00;17;34;14

Helene Kusman

But then there’s times when I’ll set a boundary with myself and say, okay, all that stuff can wait, because right now I am going to put my phone away, even if it’s just that one set time of the day, because there’s so much we’re using technology for. Like you said, you’ve been taking pictures. I find myself like constantly taking pictures of my newborn and I’m like, oh no, I hate that he’s staring at the back of my phone.

 

00;17;34;15 – 00;17;46;18

Helene Kusman

I’m like, it’s okay, it’s okay. You’re taking pictures like, you know, don’t be hard on yourself if your phone is out for things, you need it. But I think having that specific times that you tell yourself you’re going to put it away can really help.

 

00;17;46;20 – 00;18;03;17

Dr. Mona

Oh yeah, like rules like that. And of course, like I understand that sometimes you’re going to break the rules or sometimes you’re gonna be like, oh, I’m going to scroll all my kids sitting right there and watching TV like, there’s no shame in that. There’s no problem with that. It’s just being overall big picture of like, okay, how am I going to approach this sort of being present piece?

 

00;18;03;17 – 00;18;21;18

Dr. Mona

Right? Being present with myself, my feelings, but also with my child. And it’s these little things that really do add up for the benefit. And, you know, through your experience, how do you see mindfulness, improving relationships, whether it’s with yourself or your child or partner? How have you seen this really change your life in the positive way?

 

00;18;21;20 – 00;18;49;15

Helene Kusman

I think that the relationship with yourself can really be important, because we all need that time every day to tune in to how we’re really feeling, right? Because there’s the surface level of how we’re feeling, and then there’s always how we’re really feeling. And sometimes there’s things that we might notice about ourselves. You know, let’s say that you do have time for a quick workout, but you’re also trying to, you know, you’re on your peloton or you’re doing your yoga and you have your phone on your mat, and you’re also like answering emails while you do it and doing a million things at once.

 

00;18;49;16 – 00;19;16;09

Helene Kusman

Is that really self-care, or is that exercise, you know, or if you’re going on a walk, but you’re also trying to make a to do list in your head of everything you have to do for the rest of the day. It’s hard to call that self-care and really have that time to be in touch with yourself. So I think just making sure that you do create that time, maybe even once a day, where you’re able to check in with yourself can help you just be more in touch with how you’re feeling and what your needs are.

 

00;19;16;12 – 00;19;42;15

Helene Kusman

And that, in turn, can help our relationships. You know, with a partner, with our kids and kind of realize, hey, I need to talk to my partner about this. This is kind of bothering me. This happened today, and I didn’t really realize it until I really had this time to process my feelings or hey, you know, now that I’m taking this time to just be in touch with myself, I’m noticing that my kids seem really like something was bothering him this morning, or just having that time where there’s not a million things going on.

 

00;19;42;20 – 00;20;03;13

Helene Kusman

I think that the relationship with your kids, I know a lot of people call it different things where you take about ten minutes a day to spend with your child uninterrupted. And that, I think, is a really beautiful mindfulness practice. You know, whether you’re doing Legos together for ten minutes and just really both focused on that one task at hand or whatever it is that you’re doing.

 

00;20;03;16 – 00;20;24;17

Helene Kusman

That time has so many amazing benefits. Then when the rest of the day is crazy, they just know that you’re invested in them by taking that time and that in of itself can be a mindfulness practice. So I think there’s lots of ways that it can both help our relationship with ourselves and then in turn, with the other people around us.

 

00;20;24;19 – 00;20;41;03

Dr. Mona

Oh, absolutely. I couldn’t agree more. And I wanted to thank you so much about normalizing mindfulness in an easy way of how it can be built into our everyday life. You know, I think that’s such an important thing. Like I said at the beginning, sometimes we hear like, oh yeah, I wake up and, you know, do the two hour meditation and if you have time to do, that’s amazing.

 

00;20;41;03 – 00;20;54;22

Dr. Mona

I’m not saying that’s wrong, but I know that we’re so busy and you as your example of, you know, obviously being a yoga teacher, but also having two children under the age of four and giving some tips there, I think is really helpful and resonates so much with me. So thank you.

 

00;20;54;25 – 00;21;01;04

Helene Kusman

Yeah. You’re welcome. I’m glad to do it. And just be able to give people some ideas for hopefully how to make it more realistic.

 

00;21;01;07 – 00;21;06;25

Dr. Mona

And where can people find you for resources or anything like that to stay connected.

 

00;21;06;27 – 00;21;30;05

Helene Kusman

So you can find me at my website which is Helene hussman.com/acres man.com or on Instagram at Helene Carson. I also have a download on my website Helene Mint.com slash your self love and there is a guide to creating space for self-love and some of these routines that we talked about today.

 

00;21;30;07 – 00;21;40;25

Dr. Mona

Awesome! I will be including that on my show notes. So everyone can access that and stay connected and utilize those resources and stay connected. Thank you so much for joining us today.

 

00;21;40;27 – 00;21;43;15

Helene Kusman

Yeah. You’re welcome. Thank you so much for having me.

 

00;21;43;17 – 00;22;01;00

Dr. Mona

I love this conversation. And if you loved it too, for everyone listening, make sure you leave a review. Thank Helene for joining us on the show. Would love to have her back on to talk about more of what she does and obviously mindfulness as well. And I cannot wait to talk to another guest next week. Thank you for tuning in for this week’s episode.

 

00;22;01;00 – 00;22;14;17

Dr. Mona

As always, please leave a review, share this episode with a friend. Share it on your social media. Make sure to follow me at PedsDocTalk on Instagram and subscribe to my YouTube channel,PedsDocTalk TV. We’ll talk to you soon.