In this episode, I discuss:

• Getting to know your baby’s temperament
• Understanding sleepy, feeding, and ready-to-play cues
• Ways to engage with your baby from a developmental standpoint
• Baby care
• Safety
• Visitors
• Strategies to set a foundation for self-soothing and sleep
• When to seek medical attention

00;00;05;18 – 00;00;35;06

Dr. Mona

Hey, everyone, welcome to the PedsDocTalk podcast. I’m your host, Doctor Mona, where each week I hope to educate and inspire you in your journey through parenthood with information on your most common concerns as a parent and interviews with fellow parents and experts in the field. My hope is you leave each week feeling more educated, confident, and empowered in the decisions you make for your child.

 

00;00;35;09 – 00;01;01;19

Dr. Mona

Hey friends, before you start listening to this episode, I did want to add an addendum. I recorded the episode prior to the Covid 19 pandemic. So when you get to the section about visitors, please remember that in this time it’s best to not have any visitors due to social distancing and to protect yourself and your baby. So if you do listen to this episode and it’s during the pandemic, please disregard that.

 

00;01;01;21 – 00;01;22;09

Dr. Mona

If you listen to it after the pandemic is over, then please go with the recommendations I have in the visitor section. I hope you enjoy and take care. Good morning, good afternoon, good evening. Today’s episode is for all of you expectant parents. If you have a baby who’s in the first few months of life, this episode is for you.

 

00;01;22;16 – 00;01;46;28

Dr. Mona

I’m going to be talking all about caring for your baby in the fourth trimester. So this episode is basically some of the top questions I get asked from the newborn visit through the two month visit. And as a disclaimer, this is just for medical education. It’s not personal advice, and it’s obviously very important to speak to your child’s doctor or your OB about any concerns, especially if you have any medical issues or if your child has any medical issues.

 

00;01;47;00 – 00;02;07;03

Dr. Mona

So on this episode, we are going to be discussing how to get to know your baby. Temperament, feeding cues, sleepy cues, ready to play cues as they get older. This, in my opinion, from personal experience as well, is the hardest part of that fourth trimester. But if you can really learn about your baby, it can make this period a little easier to navigate.

 

00;02;07;08 – 00;02;29;13

Dr. Mona

Setting a good foundation in infancy. We’re also going to be discussing ways to engage with your baby from a developmental standpoint. Baby care such as bathing in the umbilical cord, safe sleep, and other safety concerns visitors. Some strategies to set a foundation in regards to newborn sleep and also went to seek medical attention. I won’t be discussing vaccines in this segment.

 

00;02;29;13 – 00;02;45;20

Dr. Mona

I saved the vaccine talk for an entirely different episode. But as you know, vaccines are given in the first two months of life and you can speak to your doctor about that. But I will be discussing an entire episode about vaccines at a later date. And you know, before we get started, one of the biggest things about the fourth trimester.

 

00;02;45;20 – 00;03;08;05

Dr. Mona

And again, we talk about the fourth trimester as that three months after the baby’s born. So although this episode is going to be focusing primarily on caring for your baby, I have to express the importance of taking care of yourself as a mom or dad or whoever it is, as taking care of baby is extremely, extremely important to also take care of yourself in that fourth trimester.

 

00;03;08;07 – 00;03;29;09

Dr. Mona

So when you go through this episode, I don’t want you to feel like you need to do everything like a checklist, but this is just basically a guide to get you through those hard months when you first have a newborn and it goes through all the common questions that I usually get in my office. So to begin, when you think about a newborn, I kind of boil it down that they have three basic needs.

 

00;03;29;09 – 00;03;51;27

Dr. Mona

And I know you might be thinking, well, that seems a little drastic. They have a lot of needs, but their three basic needs can fall into one of three things. They’re hungry. Whether you’re breastfeeding or formula feeding. They have a dirty diaper and they want it changed. Or do they want to be held or interacted with? So if you can remember these three things, it’ll kind of give you a good frame of reference when you’re figuring out what to do in the middle of the night when they’re crying.

 

00;03;52;04 – 00;04;10;13

Dr. Mona

And I will be doing another episode about a fussy infant or fussy babies, which I think will be very helpful to you. But remember these three basic needs when you are taking care of a newborn. So the first thing I wanted to discuss is the importance of getting to know your baby. And what that means is learning about the baby’s temperament.

 

00;04;10;15 – 00;04;30;04

Dr. Mona

And we all have different temperaments. And so as a parent, it’s important to understand the temperament or nature of your baby. For example, mothers will say that in the womb they had totally different pregnancies and every child is different. So if you can start to understand the temperament of your baby in that first trimester, it can make things a little bit easier.

 

00;04;30;05 – 00;04;54;07

Dr. Mona

In infancy, what makes them cry? What makes them inconsolable? And this can be different from child to child, which is why I hope this episode helps you navigate that. In order to help you understand your newborn. You also want to look at feeding cues, whether you are breastfeeding or formula feeding. Feeding cues are important. Initially, it’s going to be very hard to discern whether they’re fusses for hunger or not.

 

00;04;54;09 – 00;05;13;13

Dr. Mona

And I have to tell you, crying is not always hunger. One of the most common things I hear, and it usually comes from a grandparent, is that, oh, the baby’s crying. He must be hungry. He must be hungry. That is not always the case. So with feeding cues, what you’re looking for is certain things. Initially, they could start to root.

 

00;05;13;15 – 00;05;33;15

Dr. Mona

Rooting means that they start to move there. If you put there, you put your finger right by the side of their mouth. They start to turn their mouth towards your finger. They’re fussing. Their hands can start to go to the mouth. These are all signs of wanting to feed. So it’s important to know the hands to the mouth, the sucking, the rooting, the fussing.

 

00;05;33;18 – 00;05;51;21

Dr. Mona

Those are some signals that maybe they’re hungry. And again, not all fussing is hunger. So it’s going to be really important to kind of figure out is this a hunger cry. Is this something else. And it can take a few months to figure that out. Eventually by the end of the fourth trimester, you should be able to discern a hunger cry versus a non hunger cry.

 

00;05;51;23 – 00;06;12;12

Dr. Mona

So with Ryan, our son, we saw that we were noticing certain cries that were just more of an overtired cry. Certain cries were that he just wanted to be held. And eventually we started to figure out, okay, this is his absolute hunger cry. And it really is something that can help you a lot, so that you’re not shoving a bottle in there or shoving a boob in there every time they fuss.

 

00;06;12;17 – 00;06;34;01

Dr. Mona

So that’s one thing, because you really want to remember that they don’t always have to eat when they’re crying. The other things I want to go over with feeding. It’s extremely important that whether you are breastfeeding or formula feeding, that you remain in a comfortable position. What I mean by that is that if you’re in a tense position and you’re trying to feed a baby, they 100% feed off that energy.

 

00;06;34;05 – 00;06;51;25

Dr. Mona

So breast feeding you want to really get comfortable. Figure out what what holds are going to be best for you and your baby. Whether you had a C-section or other complications. What position is going to give you the least pain to breastfeed your baby? If you’re formula feeding, you also want to make sure that you’re in a comfortable position with baby.

 

00;06;51;27 – 00;07;08;04

Dr. Mona

I found this to happen a lot of times with Ryan. I noticed that if I was getting uncomfortable or stressed or tired and I was bottle feeding him, he could sense that. And then he would start to fuss and I would get tense, and then he would start to fuss. And then I had to tell myself, okay, we need to stop here.

 

00;07;08;06 – 00;07;24;20

Dr. Mona

I would either get my husband or if my husband wasn’t home, I would calm myself. I would put him down in a safe spot, and I would just read a just take a breath and go back to it, because that fidgeting that newborns do and a lot of babies do can cause a lot of anxiety for parents that, oh, something’s wrong, something’s wrong.

 

00;07;24;24 – 00;07;46;29

Dr. Mona

So try your best to be patient with it. Try your best to not fidget so much because the baby can really sense that. And if it didn’t happen to me, I wouldn’t have believed it. I mean, I always knew it going in, but having experienced it, it really, really does happen. So just be mindful of that. The other stuff with feeding, feeding on demand.

 

00;07;47;02 – 00;08;07;13

Dr. Mona

So initially when you leave the hospital, the nurse will say, okay, wake up your baby every three hours to feed. And that is good advice. When you go to your pediatrician, they’ll also give you advice on that. Typically, how it goes is that if the baby is gaining weight and has passed the birth weight, then your doctor will tell you it’s okay to let the baby feed on demand.

 

00;08;07;17 – 00;08;32;09

Dr. Mona

What that means is allow the baby to sleep, and if the baby wakes up, then you feed them. I like the feed on demand and I’ll get into other tips when I talk about sleep in the newborn stage, but that is something that your pediatrician will tell you. But wait until you get the clearance from your pediatrician initially, like I said, they may say wake the baby up every few hours because we want to see that the baby is feeding well and knows, hey, you’re not in mama anymore.

 

00;08;32;10 – 00;08;56;05

Dr. Mona

You gotta get out here and start feeding. And some babies are slow to realize that. So remember that you may have some visits with your doctor early on, multiple visits to kind of get through. Okay, how’s the baby feeding? Are they gaining weight? And that is something very common and should offer you reassurance and not worry. The other thing is, they’ll say nighttime stretches are okay, which goes in line with feeding on demand.

 

00;08;56;11 – 00;09;16;27

Dr. Mona

And that’s something that I really encourage. You do not need to wake up a baby in the middle of the night to feed, unless directed by your pediatrician. This is important because this can help establish sleep routines. So get the guidance from your pediatrician in regards to weight. But if they say yep, feed on demand, do not wake them up to feed, especially at nighttime.

 

00;09;16;29 – 00;09;37;08

Dr. Mona

So that goes into some feeding cues and some feeding recommendations. I could go on and on about feeding and formula and breastfeeding, but I wanted to give you guys some tips. Now we talk about sleepy cues. So sleepy cues. Initially baby will be sleeping a lot, but by the one month visit they’re going to be awake a lot more.

 

00;09;37;11 – 00;09;55;20

Dr. Mona

And knowing the signs of being sleepy is important. So in babies, you’re going to start to see this. As they get more alert. Their eyes are going to become dazed. They’re just going to stare at you. They may yawn. It’s important to know this so that you can lay them down for a nap. To reinforce to baby that hey, you’re sleepy, it’s time for sleep.

 

00;09;55;23 – 00;10;13;05

Dr. Mona

And it’s not like you’re going to put them down and they’re going to be sleeping forever. It’s a repetition thing. And as you’ll realize, if you don’t have a child already, they get used to where they’re used to sleeping. So if they are comfortable in mama’s arms and now you’re trying to get them into the crib, they’re going to fuss a lot more.

 

00;10;13;07 – 00;10;32;14

Dr. Mona

What I say about that is let them fuss a little bit and a little bit. The amount is up to your discretion. One minute, two minutes. See if they’ll settle. If they don’t settle, you pick them back up. And again, I’ll get into more about this sort of allowing them to fuss a little bit when I get into the the sleep segment of this talk.

 

00;10;32;17 – 00;10;50;26

Dr. Mona

The reason why I really want you to know your baby’s sleep cues and start to look for them is that this is going to be very important, because if they become over tired, which could which could look like being rigid wailing, it may be harder to soothe them and maybe harder for them to learn self-soothing skills for sleep.

 

00;10;50;29 – 00;11;17;03

Dr. Mona

So when you are in that newborn period, I get it. I’ve been there, guys. You’re going to be so tired. But start to learn about your baby. Look at these cues, okay? Are they hungry? Are they sleepy? And look for those sleepy cues and reinforce to them every time they look sleepy, dazed, eyes yawning. Put them down in the place that you want them to sleep, whether it’s a bassinet or a crib, and let them sleep and try to figure that out.

 

00;11;17;03 – 00;11;39;14

Dr. Mona

And I’ll get into sleep a little bit more later, ready to play. Cuz as they get older again, after one month, six weeks, two months for sure, you’re going to notice more awake time and they’re going to be ready to play. Ready to play signs includes their eyes wide open, looking at you or an object, and they’re going to be very relaxed in their in their body tone.

 

00;11;39;14 – 00;12;01;19

Dr. Mona

So they’re not going to be frantically crying. Frantic crying is no time for play. Okay. That could be that they’re either hungry or they’re overtired or they want to, you know, obviously go down for a nap or sleep. So really looking for those ready to play cues. Now these three cues are so important. And they can really teach you about your baby and ultimately help create the eat, play, sleep routine.

 

00;12;01;23 – 00;12;21;22

Dr. Mona

You’re going to hear more and more about this eat, play, sleep routine. As I do more episodes, but this is kind of that routine that you’re allowing them to eat. You play for them a little bit when they show sleepy cues. You let them sleep and you repeat that cycle. So that’s why I wanted to go over these three cues, because it can really help you in this fourth trimester to getting to know your baby.

 

00;12;21;24 – 00;12;38;12

Dr. Mona

The next thing I wanted to talk about was ways to engage your baby. And remember, the fourth trimester is all about survival mode. I get it, and I was there and don’t feel like you have to do all of this. I just wanted to give you guys some tips when they are awake and parents asking, well, what do I do with them?

 

00;12;38;12 – 00;12;57;18

Dr. Mona

I’m exhausted, but there are week I need to entertain them. These are the tips that you can use. Okay. Tummy time. So tummy time is, I believe, really important than any. I will tell you the same tummy time can be done as soon as you get home from the hospital. The umbilical cord does not have to fall off in my opinion, but it has to be supervised.

 

00;12;57;21 – 00;13;18;04

Dr. Mona

And what I mean by supervised is that the baby should not be left unattended. Falling asleep. You all are falling asleep, okay? Because safety wise it’s not good for them and obviously can increase the risk of SIDs. So how much tummy time should you be doing now? The recommendations will give you numbers 10 to 15 minutes three times a day.

 

00;13;18;07 – 00;13;40;00

Dr. Mona

The reality is you do it as much as you can when they’re awake and you’re supervising them, especially early on. That’s really all that you’ll be doing with them. It is really, really important to remember that you do the best you can. Don’t feel like you need to accomplish this checklist. If one day goes by and you forget to do it, oh well, just try it again the next day.

 

00;13;40;02 – 00;13;55;20

Dr. Mona

Try it in different areas so you can do it on a boppy pillow. You can do it with them on your chest. And again it has to be supervised. And just make sure you don’t fall asleep because you could be tired. It could be on the ground. If you are on the ground, lay down with them and get to eye level.

 

00;13;55;21 – 00;14;14;11

Dr. Mona

This was very difficult for me because I had a C-section and some complications, so I wasn’t able to lay on the ground with Ryan until he was about six weeks, two months old. But do whatever you can to implement tummy time from the beginning. Another really important thing is reading and talking to the baby. From the moment they come home.

 

00;14;14;14 – 00;14;32;28

Dr. Mona

Now, this is something that I think a lot of mothers forget to do, and a lot of fathers forget to do because they’re overwhelmed, they’re tired, and they just forget. And it’s honestly really awkward talking to somebody who’s not talking back. But I cannot express the importance of talking to the baby and reading to the baby as much as you can from an early age.

 

00;14;33;02 – 00;14;49;27

Dr. Mona

So practically, what I did with Ryan is that when he was awake, I would talk to him. I would just tell him I love him. I would tell him about my day. I would tell him what we did together. And it could be as simple as you had a you had a poopy diaper, I did this, I love you, I felt this way.

 

00;14;49;29 – 00;15;11;25

Dr. Mona

Talk to them. It actually can really help you. If you’re dealing with any of the emotional aspects of postpartum. So something that can really help you from the beginning. The other thing is cuddling your baby. You are not going to spoil a newborn. Please remember that what anyone else tells you, they need to feel secure. So in that in that first few months it’s okay to cuddle them.

 

00;15;11;27 – 00;15;30;26

Dr. Mona

It is okay if they don’t nap in their crib or bassinet for every nap. You want to try to encourage that, but it’s okay if you’re cuddling your baby. It’s okay if they cry and you hold them, because that’s what it’s all about. Going back to my main three issues that babies, you know, that cause them to fuss, you know, are they hungry?

 

00;15;30;26 – 00;15;46;09

Dr. Mona

Do they have a dirty diaper or do they want to be held? That’s going to become very important because they want to be held. They want to feel love. They want to feel nurtured. So that is something that I want you guys to remember, because I don’t want you to feel like you can’t hold your baby, that holding your baby is going to cause them to be spoiled.

 

00;15;46;09 – 00;16;09;16

Dr. Mona

It’s just not true. The other thing you can do with your baby is as they become more alert and their eyes are more open, you know, two weeks, one month depending on the baby. Using black and white contrast images rattles as well, so that they can practice tracking. I use love every. It’s a company that I love. I use their play kit and they have these black and white contrast images, as well as these rattles that are really beneficial.

 

00;16;09;16 – 00;16;28;25

Dr. Mona

And you don’t have to buy the love every kit if you don’t want, but printing out some black and white contrast images. Babies can’t really see color, and they love the contrast. A lot of the reason why babies love fans ceiling fans. I joke with my pediatrician. I have a pediatrician, obviously for a reason that we call it Mister Fan.

 

00;16;28;25 – 00;16;47;04

Dr. Mona

So Ryan will stare at the fan and just start smiling. And a lot of babies do that, and I believe that a lot of the reason why they like the fan is that it’s contrasted against a white ceiling. So it’s unique to them and it’s shapes and they love that. So really interesting as to how babies visualize in the first few months.

 

00;16;47;07 – 00;17;08;21

Dr. Mona

And we we know that they like these black and white contrast images. And it can really help their neural development. You also should be singing and singing and singing. And I know these things might be like, well, when do I have time? I have to breastfeed and bottle feed and clean. This is as much as you can. These are just tips that when you are awake and you’re feeling like you want to do it, do it.

 

00;17;08;23 – 00;17;28;14

Dr. Mona

When you sing, you have to look at them in the eye and smile. And this is hard if you’re not a very excitable person. And if you are not a very bubbly person, but you do not have to be bubbly, it’s doable. Speak in high pitched musical voice. Little babies love it. B I n-g-o bingo was his name.

 

00;17;28;14 – 00;17;48;05

Dr. Mona

So that is what me and Ryan do on a daily basis. And I can’t tell you the smiles I get out of that are just so heartwarming. And I’m your baby may not always get that smart. You may not always get that smile, but oh, it is just such an awesome thing. And singing it, it allows connection with your baby.

 

00;17;48;09 – 00;18;09;21

Dr. Mona

It helps your mood too, because who doesn’t love to sing? You can dance around if you want to and it really helps of bonding. And I feel that so much with Ryan. And I really encourage you guys to sing. And if you don’t have a good singing voice, who cares? It is just something between you and your baby and something that goes a long way for their social and emotional development.

 

00;18;09;23 – 00;18;37;23

Dr. Mona

And another thing to engage with your baby in this time frame. That time and infant massages. I cannot express the importance of a routine as early as you’re feasibly able to do it. What that looks like is that a bedtime routine you know, around 6 or 7 p.m. obviously, they’re not going to be on a perfect feeding schedule from early on, but starting to implement that around six weeks and doing it as much as you can, you know, every night, every other night is really going to help.

 

00;18;37;23 – 00;19;01;29

Dr. Mona

Now, I love infant massages. What that means is getting some baby oil or coconut oil and massaging their legs, massaging their arms, massaging their belly. What that does is also part of that bonding. And it also can help you relax and help baby relax. A lot of the things that I’m telling you guys is stuff that really helps you as a mother or father or caretaker.

 

00;19;02;02 – 00;19;22;18

Dr. Mona

It really helps when you massage and put on some light music, when you’re singing, when you’re cuddling, reading this will help reduce your anxiety and your, you know, your stress that comes with taking care of a newborn. And that is why I encourage it so much. So don’t look at this as a daunting task. Don’t look at this as oh my gosh, I gotta get the bad stuff ready.

 

00;19;22;18 – 00;19;42;01

Dr. Mona

Look at it as an enjoyable experience that’s going to benefit you too, because that is how you’re going to survive emotionally through the fourth trimester when you have to take care of a baby. So next we’re going to talk about baby care, such as bathing and the umbilical cord. So newborns do not actually need baths every day. That’s one common question will how often can I bathe them?

 

00;19;42;04 – 00;19;58;09

Dr. Mona

First of all, until the umbilical cord falls off, do not do not be them. Just do sponge baths. Once the umbilical cord falls off, then you can start to slowly build up the baths. So what I usually say is let the cord fall off and when it falls off, then you can start to do a bath every few days.

 

00;19;58;09 – 00;20;17;02

Dr. Mona

So every three days, once you see that their skin is tolerating the water and the soaps that you’re using, then you can start to up it to every other day. Once you see that’s going well up to every day. If you want to go straight to doing it every day, that’s fine. But I find that newborn skin is very sensitive and the water and soaps can sometimes dry out the skin.

 

00;20;17;07 – 00;20;36;24

Dr. Mona

So it’s better, in my opinion, to start slow and build it up. When you are using soaps, use fragrance free soaps. There are so many products on the market, so I always talk about different products. I’m not going to talk about many on this on this episode, but my advice would be to try a few different ones. Mainly because just say your friend is using one product.

 

00;20;36;26 – 00;20;54;17

Dr. Mona

It may not always work for your child, so you want to make sure that maybe you buy a small, small package of a couple and see how your baby responds to it in terms of using it for bath time as a lotion, or as a soap or hair wash. Now, in terms of umbilical cord care. So the umbilical cord you don’t have to do anything to it.

 

00;20;54;17 – 00;21;14;09

Dr. Mona

You don’t have to use alcohol. You don’t have to wipe it down. You just have to kind of monitor it. And if it does get wet for any reason, just pat dry. Concerning signs. So first of all, if you’re noticing oozing so pus you know why it is yellowish discharge. It’s a good idea to tell your pediatrician if it bleeds and you’re not able to stop the bleeding.

 

00;21;14;13 – 00;21;40;14

Dr. Mona

You know, by putting pressure. Definitely talk to your pediatrician as well. Or if you’re noticing any redness or swelling around the umbilical cord sight. So swelling to the skin obviously is a concern for an infection, but otherwise it can take anywhere from two weeks to basically a month to fall out. My son’s umbilical cord fell off at seven weeks, which is nuts because as a pediatrician, I never see it past the one month visit.

 

00;21;40;14 – 00;21;57;26

Dr. Mona

And I was like, what is going on? So I had to text my friend, who’s my my pediatrician for Ryan. And I had to ask him, like, look, I know I’m a pediatrician, but isn’t both cord not fall off? Do I need to worry? So I have seen it now in kids past the one month mark passed the six week mark.

 

00;21;57;29 – 00;22;12;26

Dr. Mona

It is a good idea if it has not fallen off by the two month mark to talk to your doctor, because sometimes there’s some blood tests we like to run to see if there’s any issues as to why it’s not coming off, but be patient with it. I to be honest, I was worried and I was like, what’s going on?

 

00;22;12;28 – 00;22;29;27

Dr. Mona

Please, for the love of God, we already went through so much. I don’t want him to have any more issues. Mom anxiety set in and it finally fell off. One day my husband called me, I cried, it was like such a funny thing. So definitely be patient with it, okay? And just watch it for any redness or oozing.

 

00;22;29;29 – 00;22;50;18

Dr. Mona

Now in terms of cutting nails, baby’s nails grow like weeds. I cannot stress that enough. It is like you cut it one day and in five hours it’s back. So cut nails and baby’s more sleepy. That’s what we do. My husband has the better hand-eye coordination. I’m very clumsy and I don’t have good hand-eye coordination. So he is the one who cuts the nails.

 

00;22;50;23 – 00;23;08;02

Dr. Mona

So he’ll do it when Ryan’s more sleepy and you can buy little nail clippers. They come with lights, too, on Amazon or online or wherever you shop. And it’s it’s important to cut the nails just so that they don’t scratch themselves. Now, to be honest, if they do scratch themselves and Ryan has it is not the end of the world.

 

00;23;08;02 – 00;23;27;28

Dr. Mona

Okay. Obviously if they scratch themselves and it becomes red and irritated, you let your pediatrician know, but they don’t scratch themselves, typically to the point of causing so much harm. Okay. But obviously if you’re concerned, talk to your doctor getting to that. Parents will often try to put mittens on their babies because the baby scratches themselves. I, you know, I’m very into development.

 

00;23;27;28 – 00;23;50;06

Dr. Mona

You guys are going to find that more and more about me if you don’t follow me on Instagram already. Babies need to learn to use their hands, and I am not a fan of mittens. And actually a lot of pediatricians are not a fan of mittens, especially when they’re awake. It’s important because that’s their first way to explore the first thing that they’re going to do when they’re about three, you know, 2 or 3 months old is put their hands in their mouth.

 

00;23;50;06 – 00;24;07;24

Dr. Mona

And I really think it’s important that they start to know that, hey, these are my hands. Exploring them is really fun for them, and they’re in a very oral phase that they like to put everything in their mouth. So I don’t like mittens. I like them to be able to explore their hands. Now, if you really want to use mittens because you, you know, they’re scratching at night, that’s fine.

 

00;24;07;24 – 00;24;27;01

Dr. Mona

But consider just not having it. They don’t really need it. And even though their hands may feel cold to you, it’s okay. They don’t need the mittens on them at all times and in my opinion, at all. Another question I commonly get just to throw that in is, well, what temperature should I keep the room going into that cold hand comment?

 

00;24;27;03 – 00;24;48;07

Dr. Mona

Now you know, some some literature will say, oh, it has to be between 67 and 72 degrees. My opinion is you have to read your baby and also what you guys like. If your baby is sweaty, turn on the air conditioning or fan or whatever you guys use. If your baby’s neck is cold and that’s a good gauge, like touching the back of the neck, not the hand, but touching the back of the neck.

 

00;24;48;10 – 00;25;10;01

Dr. Mona

If the back of the neck is cold, then maybe you turn on the heater or make the room more warm, but use that gauge to decide, well, do I need to make the apartment or home warmer or cooler? Now we’re going to get into safe sleep. Now this is really important. You know, I practice in the United States where we have a lot of strict rules, but I’m going to go into just briefly about safe sleep.

 

00;25;10;08 – 00;25;41;04

Dr. Mona

I’m not going to be talking about co-sleeping, which, by the way, I’m not against. I think if you do it safely, it’s okay. Millions of people around the world co-sleep. But I wanted to talk briefly about safe sleep as outlined by the AAP or the American Academy of Pediatrics. So safe sleep. What does it look like? Safe sleep is on the baby’s back in a crib or bassinet with no bumpers, no stuffed animals, and in the same room as the parent, ideally for the first six months.

 

00;25;41;06 – 00;26;01;10

Dr. Mona

Now, they recently changed their guidelines and recommendations and said, well, it’s, you know, recommended that in the first year of life, from a practical standpoint, you have to decide between you and your partner if you have one, what you guys want to do. We moved Ryan into a separate room at around two months, and I know you’re like, wow, that’s crazy.

 

00;26;01;10 – 00;26;20;22

Dr. Mona

But he was doing well and we figured we had this crib. Let’s see how he does right now. I sleep in that room with him. We haven’t actually a bed in there. And that’s just for my personal choice. Just because I’m still on maternity leave. I miss him when he sleeps. And that’s a choice you decide with your pediatrician and obviously with your partner, what works best for you.

 

00;26;20;25 – 00;26;41;21

Dr. Mona

The biggest risk factors for SIDs and suffocation is if they’re on their stomach, if they if there’s any smoking in the home. So I would really advise a smoke free environment. So if you do move your baby into another room before the age of six months, I would recommend that. Obviously you’re putting them on their back, which should be happening everywhere on their back.

 

00;26;41;21 – 00;27;06;28

Dr. Mona

No bumpers, no stuffed animals, no blankets. In a smoke free home is the ideal way to prevent suffocation or SIDs is the exact term. And again, I will do another episode or I’ll do another post about SIDs. But this is just briefly the safest way to put a baby to sleep. The other safety concerns make sure you have a car seat that’s the rear facing, and you definitely want to make sure that you buy the right car seat for your car.

 

00;27;07;02 – 00;27;22;27

Dr. Mona

I worked with Michelle from safe in the seat about car seats, and you’ll be surprised that you and people just end up buying a car seat to fit their car. But you got to look at your car and see what’s going to fit inside. So it’s really important to kind of look at what car seat you’re buying and keep it rear facing.

 

00;27;23;00 – 00;27;41;20

Dr. Mona

Proper installation is important. With car seats, you want to make sure you go through a car seat technician. Some stores offer that for you. Fire stations sometimes offer that you can search that online. One common I have to make is that hospitals will not make sure that your car seat is installed correctly, so do not expect to have the baby and have the.

 

00;27;41;21 – 00;27;58;22

Dr. Mona

And look at the nurse and say, oh, hey, get me into my car seat. No no no, they are not going to do that, okay? They’re going to say bye. You got to go. So really important to have all that set up and all that installed before you have baby and maybe even practice putting baby in the car seat, strapping them in correctly.

 

00;27;58;29 – 00;28;19;22

Dr. Mona

And if you want more car seat education, one of my favorite accounts is safe in the seat on Instagram. It’s, her name is Michelle. She’s fantastic. So definitely take a look if you’re interested more in car seat safety. The last thing. Safety. Just again this is just basic safety. In the first two months. Make sure you never leave baby unattended on a changing table or surface.

 

00;28;19;27 – 00;28;35;09

Dr. Mona

I know you’re thinking walls to young. They may not roll over. I have seen them rollover. I have seen it happen off of a bed. All of a sudden they somehow get their arm over and they roll. So just please, please, please, it just only takes a moment at that. That being said, if they do roll over, do not feel guilty.

 

00;28;35;09 – 00;28;54;09

Dr. Mona

Do not feel like you did cause some awful harm, but just be mindful that don’t leave them unattended on a changing table or surface, because even at a young age, they are strong and they can roll off. Now we’re going to talk about visitors. So I often get that question will when can visitors come? And also should we leave the home, things like that.

 

00;28;54;09 – 00;29;13;17

Dr. Mona

Okay, so the first rule with visitors, you and whoever else is in your home as adults, so partner, whoever have to decide what rules you want to set. Do you want a lot of visitors, do you not? It’s important to do that because you don’t know what kind of postpartum experience you’re going to have. I’ll be honest, initially before we had Ryan, I thought that I didn’t want any.

 

00;29;13;17 – 00;29;30;00

Dr. Mona

I didn’t want a lot of visitors. You know, I was like, well, we’ll just have my mom here. We don’t want a lot of guest. He’s young. It’s going to be December, a lot of viruses. We ended up having a traumatic delivery, as many of you know, and I wanted everyone around. I when we got home, I just wanted everyone to visit him.

 

00;29;30;00 – 00;29;47;06

Dr. Mona

I wanted everyone to be around me at all times. And it just felt good to have that presence. So you have to decide what you guys want, right? There’s no hard and fast rule, but limit them if you’re not comfortable, you know, say, hey, look, I today I’m not feeling that great. It’s okay to say that, you know, it’s I think there’s a culture of that.

 

00;29;47;11 – 00;30;03;29

Dr. Mona

Oh, you have to be happy and done up. But honestly, some days you’re just like, I don’t want anyone to come. So one thing I will say, and I respect this from all my friends and all my friends who do this, you know, a lot of them are mothers as well. Hey, what’s a good day to come? And especially texting in the morning like, hey, we’re going to be in town.

 

00;30;04;01 – 00;30;18;20

Dr. Mona

Is today a good day? What time would you want us to come and be open to the fact that that parent may say, oh, well, you know, maybe sometime between 1 and 5 because they have to see if their baby wakes up. They have to see how they’re feeding. So, you know, if you are a visitor, remember that that don’t take it personally.

 

00;30;18;20 – 00;30;40;10

Dr. Mona

If someone says, no, there’s a lot going on when you have a newborn and sometimes you just want a moment, you don’t want to get ready. You don’t want to do your hair, you don’t want to think about entertaining in a way. And even though it’s a guest that may say, oh, it’s fine. You know, a lot of us may feel like we have to be on our A-game when someone’s visiting and when all we want to do is have our boob hang out or just be in our PJs all day.

 

00;30;40;10 – 00;31;05;15

Dr. Mona

So it’s definitely, definitely something that you have to set boundaries for if you’re, you know, as primary caretakers. My recommendation for caretakers, by the way, is that all primary caretakers meaning mom, dad, mom, grandma, whoever it may be, should be up to date on Tdap, which is your tetanus pertussis vaccine and the flu. If it’s flu season, you know, the baby’s too young to get the flu vaccine.

 

00;31;05;15 – 00;31;24;24

Dr. Mona

And also they don’t get their pertussis vaccine until they’re two months old. So you really want to make sure that you help prevent any sort of spread of any of those illnesses by getting yourselves, vaccinated. In terms of the visitors, now, a lot of people ask, well, for visitors, do they need to have these vaccines? This is your judgment call?

 

00;31;24;26 – 00;31;41;24

Dr. Mona

I, I personally did not expect everybody to show me their vaccine certificates. And I didn’t set this big rule because, look, by the way, I had like I said, that trauma delivery I don’t care. Just wash your hands and come see my baby. If you’re sick, don’t come right. But to say like, okay, well, no, you need to.

 

00;31;41;28 – 00;31;58;25

Dr. Mona

If you don’t, if you’re not vaccinated, that is a decision you have to make. If you feel like you feel more comfortable, if everyone’s vaccine, that’s fine. For me, it was, hey, if you’re sick, I don’t, you know, maybe don’t come if you’re maybe under the weather, don’t come or don’t be close to the baby. And if you’re well or not, I don’t care.

 

00;31;59;00 – 00;32;22;21

Dr. Mona

Just wash your hands before you touch the baby. If you cough, cough away from the baby. To me, that’s the best practices. But please remember that you have to decide what’s best for you. And if you want everyone to be vaccinated, that’s perfectly great. But I believe that primary caretakers are the ones who should be vaccinated. And also, you know, when the visitors coming, limiting the kissing, limiting all that sort of cuddling and canoodling.

 

00;32;22;27 – 00;32;37;16

Dr. Mona

I like to leave that for the primary caretakers. Okay, but why do I get worried about this? So one is you don’t want them to get sick. They don’t need to be kissing all over your baby. I mean, I get Grandma and grandpa want to come and that’s fine, but if they’re under the weather, just say, look, I love you, but maybe not now, right?

 

00;32;37;17 – 00;32;54;11

Dr. Mona

While you’re sick. Also the risk of cold sores. So if they have an active cold sore, cold sores don’t cause much problem for us as adults, but for kids it can actually be very problematic. So you want to make sure that, you know, obviously if they have a cold sore, if they’re sick, just say, hey, don’t come. You know, there’s always going to be time to see the baby.

 

00;32;54;11 – 00;33;13;28

Dr. Mona

Everyone wants to see the baby. And I love that. I love that sort of support. But it’s also needs to be that there needs to be some boundaries. So just make sure you remember that and tell them. Doctor Mona said, I, you can’t come to visit my baby. No. The next segment is going to be about some strategies to maximize sleep.

 

00;33;13;28 – 00;33;34;22

Dr. Mona

Now, when I say this, I’m not telling you guys that you’re going to be sleeping through the night and it’s going to be this amazing thing. That fourth trimester is extremely, extremely difficult. Okay. But these are tips that can help you to create some self-soothing tips. I would say for babies. So I, you know, this is stuff that I actually preached a lot prior to having Ryan.

 

00;33;34;29 – 00;33;49;09

Dr. Mona

And then when I had Ryan, I talked to my husband. I’m like, you know what? Let’s we’re going to do this. Let’s see. And I have to say, a lot of these things really worked. And I’m going to tell you a little bit about my personal experiences when I go through these strategies. So again, this is not sleep training okay.

 

00;33;49;12 – 00;34;17;16

Dr. Mona

These are just a few tips to help create a routine and allow for just a gentle foundation for self-soothing. I’m going to be doing a colic or fussy baby episode, likely next week, and when I speak about that, you’re going to hear more about soothing tips for babies. So that includes swaddle pacifiers, white noise machines, etc. there’s so many things, but this is just some basic schedules and basic tips to hopefully create this sort of environment to reinforce sleep for your baby.

 

00;34;17;16 – 00;34;40;00

Dr. Mona

And, I can’t tell you how much I believe it works. So the first tip remember that the first month is survival mode. Don’t worry about trying to implement this early on. You don’t have to. Okay, but the number one tip I will always recommend from the moment you bring baby home, is pausing before you jump in French parenting, they call it la pause.

 

00;34;40;00 – 00;35;04;28

Dr. Mona

And my French is awful, but they call it la pause, which basically you are pausing before you jump and react to your baby. I cannot stress how important that is from a young age. And this is not. And for anyone who’s like, wow, that sounds awful, you’re not letting them cry for ten minutes. Five minutes. It’s literally 1 or 2 minutes that you give the baby when they start crying.

 

00;35;05;01 – 00;35;24;03

Dr. Mona

A lot of times when babies are in sleep cycles, they will wake up, but they won’t be fully awake and they’ll cry, and then they’ll go back down on their own. And this happens. This can happen from a young age. So why I like the pause is that if you start to jump at them, you could you could be actually, you know, creating this sort of well I cry and I’m doing a jump response.

 

00;35;24;08 – 00;35;49;16

Dr. Mona

So just give them a minute. Give them two minutes. If you’re comfortable with that, whatever you’re comfortable with okay. Allow them to fuss. If they keep crying after one minute, two minutes, then you react. Respond to their needs. Are they hungry and do they need their diaper changed? Do they want to be held? The three basic principles right, that I talked about early on assess those needs, but give them that moment.

 

00;35;49;16 – 00;36;11;14

Dr. Mona

And remember. Remember that you are not depriving them of needs. You’re just giving them a moment to see if they’ll self-soothe. And if they don’t, you’re right there. For them, it really helps. I cannot stress how much this helps. And me and me and my husband did this for Ryan, and I mean this combined with all the other tips, it really has helped his sleep.

 

00;36;11;14 – 00;36;30;17

Dr. Mona

And if you can get to do this, I think you’ll see a lot of good results. The next tip is feed on demand at night or as outlined by the doctor. So if they say you get the clearance, you can now let the baby sleep when the baby sleeps and feed them when they’re hungry. Definitely, definitely do that overnight.

 

00;36;30;20 – 00;36;46;20

Dr. Mona

If your baby has not met birth weight, most pediatricians will say, okay, keep waking the baby up. But if they have met their birth weight, then they can start to do this sort of stretching at night. I do recommend though, this is what we did with Ryan, that you wake the baby up every three hours during the day.

 

00;36;46;21 – 00;37;06;06

Dr. Mona

I’m like, it really helps y to create a routine. Now, like I said, it doesn’t mean that you do all this and your baby’s going to be this amazing sleeper, but it just helps to create habits and teach them which they can. It’s amazing self-soothing skills from a young age. So during the day, 7 to 7 is what I call the day, right?

 

00;37;06;08 – 00;37;22;10

Dr. Mona

You wake them up and you start to obviously see how they do. If they are hungry before that third hour. Right. Wake them up every three hours, feed them. So it doesn’t mean that if they’re crying and wailing and you’re seeing feeding cues, that you let them cry. But this means that don’t let them go longer than three hours.

 

00;37;22;13 – 00;37;37;27

Dr. Mona

So what this kind of look like for us and Ryan was that, you know, around the one month visit, 7 a.m., I would wake him up if he was still sleeping, I’d feed him. He would probably sleep sometimes. He wanted to play, but he was sleepy. He’s still a one month old. Then at 10:00 I would offer him another feeding.

 

00;37;37;27 – 00;37;55;08

Dr. Mona

Sometimes he took an hour and sometimes he took two ounces, and then sometimes he’ll wake up at 1130 and want to snack again. But then I also went back to that 10 a.m. and said, okay, another three hours. And then I would try again. So every three hours seven, ten, one, four and seven is when I would offer and see if he would take something.

 

00;37;55;14 – 00;38;13;07

Dr. Mona

Sometimes he would take one ounce, sometimes he wouldn’t. But the reason why this can really help is establish a sort of routine for him or your baby, and routines are going to be the spice of life. It is something so important with kids. I get a lot of parents like, I don’t want to do a routine. They need to be free spirited, free range parenting.

 

00;38;13;09 – 00;38;32;02

Dr. Mona

I, I get it. But routine, especially in the infant and toddler years, it’s so important for their development and you can start to create that now with this sort of waking them up during the day every three hours. And please remember, it does not mean that they’re going to take that feed every three hours. If they are hungry and it’s been an hour, please feed them.

 

00;38;32;02 – 00;38;51;08

Dr. Mona

Do not deprive them of food because Doctor Mona said that you should feed them only three hours. That’s not what I mean. But please remember that something can really help as well. The other tip is light when awake and dark when asleep. So this is something that we did. We actually had blackout curtains in our room and in the room that, Ryan sleeps in now.

 

00;38;51;10 – 00;39;11;04

Dr. Mona

And it really helps reinforce the sleep cycle. Now, speaking about sleep cycle, melatonin is that natural hormone that we all have that helps us sleep at night and wake up in the morning, right? That is that natural drive that says, oh, I’m getting sleepy. So it’s thought that babies don’t begin producing their own melatonin until about 12 weeks.

 

00;39;11;04 – 00;39;42;19

Dr. Mona

And although some babies in my practice do figure out that night and day as young as six weeks old, production is thought to happen around that 3 to 4 month mark. So if you are trying to force that night and day rhythm on them and stressing about why your one month old is awake during the night and sleeping during the day, remember that they’re still trying to establish their sleep rhythm, but creating a difference between light and dark day and night can help with melatonin production, which can in turn help with establishing a sleep cycle and rhythm where baby will sleep more at night.

 

00;39;42;22 – 00;40;05;21

Dr. Mona

And again, we’ll go through other strategies to, in a way, prompt sleep in the long run. So when they are awake, you want lights on, meaning open the curtains, open the blinds. When they’re awake, it’s light. It’s daytime. When it’s time for sleep, we do dark room, quiet room, things like that. Especially at nighttime. If you are able to please get a blackout curtain.

 

00;40;05;21 – 00;40;29;22

Dr. Mona

You know we got something super affordable at Target or Amazon. It’s definitely something really helpful to create that dark and soothing environment. When I do my sleep training segment or episode, I will talk about this, but I, you know, I don’t think that all babies need sound machines. I, you know, I know a lot of people think that, but I don’t think that I know a lot of babies who can sleep through anything.

 

00;40;29;24 – 00;40;48;18

Dr. Mona

Some babies need the sound machines. But what I do think is nice is a nice cool or comfortably temp, you know, temp temperatures, comfortable room with a dark room as well. That’s what I like to sleep in. But think about that. It really helps to have that sort of soothing, soothing light and soothing, soothing darkness when you’re trying to go to sleep.

 

00;40;48;18 – 00;41;10;27

Dr. Mona

And creating that environment for your child, I think is really important. And the last strategy besides, you know, the pausing, the feeding on demand, the waking them up during the day, the light when awake is a bedtime routine as early as you’re able to. I think feasibly one month is the earliest, probably six weeks, two months because of the postpartum craziness.

 

00;41;11;04 – 00;41;32;15

Dr. Mona

But start to get into a routine. What that looks like, it could look like anything for you. What you want. I can tell you what we did. We do bath time, bottle book cuddling. I talked to Ryan and then he goes to bed. That can look like 40 minutes. That can sometimes be only 20 minutes. It doesn’t have to be very long.

 

00;41;32;18 – 00;41;46;21

Dr. Mona

Just do some sort of routine and do not feel bad if you break one of those one of the parts of the routine. So for example, the other night I was so tired and I just did not want to give him a bath. My husband had took, my husband was cooking and I was just like, look, I use the sink in the kitchen.

 

00;41;46;21 – 00;42;00;07

Dr. Mona

I’m like, I just don’t want to. So I didn’t give him the bath. I spent a little more time talking to him and cuddling, but it was just the day was done. You know? He had a fussy day, so don’t feel bad if you don’t stick to the routine every single day. But why? I like the bedtime routine.

 

00;42;00;12 – 00;42;16;16

Dr. Mona

And again, you can start this about, you know, 30 minutes to an hour before you want them to, you know, kind of wind down. So we start our routine around six 3645 is that you want to start to prime their body that, oh, it’s bedtime. And who doesn’t love a bath before bed? And kids will love it as they get older.

 

00;42;16;23 – 00;42;36;02

Dr. Mona

So start to implement the bedtime routine and as early as you can. I would say one month is feasible. And again, if you find that you’re not able to do it every night, don’t worry about it, but figure out what routine you want that incorporate some sort of that combo feeding bath, reading to them, singing to them, cuddling with them, talking to them and going to bed.

 

00;42;36;02 – 00;42;58;05

Dr. Mona

So some sort of combo, at least five minutes as much if you want it to be 45 minutes, that’s long, but it really can help the baby realize that, okay, this is time for bed. One little story just from personal experience, Ryan will be. He’s in this fussy phase where between like 530 and or maybe like 535 and 630, it’s this kind of it’s that witching hour, right?

 

00;42;58;05 – 00;43;14;15

Dr. Mona

He doesn’t know what he wants to do. It’s like, do you want to go to bed? It’s too early and I’ll fuss and I, you know, I’ll cuddle with him, we’ll talk, I’ll put the pacifier. And then at 630, I start my routine and I kid you not, the minute I get everything ready for the bath and I lay him down, he starts fussing.

 

00;43;14;15 – 00;43;34;13

Dr. Mona

And it’s that repetition. And I truly believe that he understands that my routine is coming, bedtime is coming, my bottle is coming, and book is coming, and it really can help prime them for sleep. So these are my tips when I get into my sleep training or sleep segment episode, I’ll talk more in detail about after the fourth trimester.

 

00;43;34;13 – 00;43;55;18

Dr. Mona

You know, after two months, three months in terms of sleep training and whatnot. But these are some strategies to help teach your child self-soothing. And if you take home anything from this talk, it’s the pausing. It’s that taking 1 or 2 moments before you jump at your baby, you are there for them. You are a loving parent, but just give them a moment.

 

00;43;55;18 – 00;44;17;16

Dr. Mona

I assure you, you’re going to be pleasantly surprised. And the last segment I want to go over in this talk is medical attention. So in the first two months of life, when do you have to call the doctor? Okay, there’s a lot of things maybe, but yeah, we can kind of boil it down to a few things. Number one fever over 100.4 taken rectally.

 

00;44;17;18 – 00;44;35;28

Dr. Mona

Why we do rectal underarm forehead is not as accurate for a baby. Rectal is the best. Get any digital thermometer. I just have a Vicks thermometer. You put a little Vaseline on it, you put it in the in the bum and it’ll, you know, blip around and then it’ll read. When do you check a fever? That’s one common question.

 

00;44;36;04 – 00;44;57;18

Dr. Mona

You’re really only checking it is if they’re super warm to you. They’re super fuzzy and warm. They’re super listless, like just kind of drowsy or than normal. I would check it. I’ll be honest. I’ve checked Ryan’s temperature rectally about maybe eight times so far because he was kind of more fussy, or he was feeling warm to me. And thankfully so far it’s been normal.

 

00;44;57;18 – 00;45;20;07

Dr. Mona

But use your you know, it’s okay to do that and it’s okay to say, oh, I’m not concerned. Just take the rectal temp. If it’s over 100. 400.4, not 100 400.4, call your pediatrician. They will direct you under one month of age. Any fever should be seen in the e.R. Between one month and two month. It’s a little bit more of a gray area.

 

00;45;20;13 – 00;45;39;15

Dr. Mona

Some doctors are okay seeing you in the office. If you’re if they’re open, some doctors will say, go to the E.R., but you definitely should call a pediatrician or call the nursing line. If your baby has a fever over 100.4 and is under two months of age, the other reason to call the pediatrician baby or go see them.

 

00;45;39;15 – 00;45;57;21

Dr. Mona

No wet diapers. Ideally, at least 3 to 4 wet diapers in a 24 hour period is ideal. If they’re not making wet diapers, I would absolutely advise you to have them get seen or going along those lines if you’re worried they’re not gaining weight or not feeding well, and that you have to look at the wet diapers as well, right?

 

00;45;57;21 – 00;46;18;29

Dr. Mona

So feeding well is such a hard thing for a parent especially, you know, you’re new, you’re learning how to breastfeed. And it’s like, oh, is my baby getting enough? It’s the most common concern in a newborn mom. Is, is my baby gaining enough weight because of feeding and are they hungry? I don’t know, they’re not eating. So if you’re concerned your baby’s not feeding well or eating well, just make an appointment with the pediatrician.

 

00;46;19;04 – 00;46;35;15

Dr. Mona

Don’t weigh the baby at home. Get away. Check and they can reassure you or tell you what the plan is. You know, wake the baby up or whatever it may be. See you. Lactation consultant. Supplement with formula. Whatever it may be. Don’t live in that anxiety that, oh, I have to do something. I have to weigh the baby.

 

00;46;35;15 – 00;46;52;20

Dr. Mona

Oh my gosh, what’s wrong? Go to your pediatrician’s office. I have had countless mothers come to me and I done weight checks day to day or every few days to reassure them. And I’m happy to do that. And your pediatrician will guide you on the best plan. The other reason is concerns with the umbilical cord, like I mentioned earlier.

 

00;46;52;20 – 00;47;12;11

Dr. Mona

So I’m not going to get into that again. Blood in the stool. So if your baby has any blood and mukasey’s stool or blood, please let your pediatrician know other other types of stool. We don’t like to see stool. Obviously is poop. So, other types of poop we don’t like to see is white poop like a paper and black poop.

 

00;47;12;17 – 00;47;28;14

Dr. Mona

So white, black or red, if you see any white, black or red poop, just call your pediatrician. They’re going to want to see you. And they’ll they’ll guide you through what what they would want to do and examine your baby, obviously. And the number one reason you should call your pediatrician or go into the office, you feel like it.

 

00;47;28;16 – 00;47;48;22

Dr. Mona

You’re a first time parent. Fourth time parent, 10th time parent. If you feel something’s wrong and if you feel like I don’t know what’s going on, my anxiety’s through the roof. I’m worried about my baby. This could be nothing. Go to your poop, make an appointment, call your nursing line and just talk to them. Or go for a visit.

 

00;47;48;25 – 00;48;09;13

Dr. Mona

I cannot tell you how many times I’ve had mothers come in and apologize to me that, hey, I’m so sorry, I know I sound crazy, I am a mom too. I have a two month old now. I get it, it’s not easy. And now, obviously I always understood it even before. But now having Ryan, it is so hard.

 

00;48;09;13 – 00;48;25;24

Dr. Mona

And I rather have you go to a doctor than google things at three in the morning. You know, on my Instagram. I wish I could give you guys advice. And I started that account to educate you guys because I understand those those fears and anxiety that run through your mind at three in the morning. Is my baby gaining weight?

 

00;48;25;24 – 00;48;48;08

Dr. Mona

What’s going on? Why are they crying? So really, really trust your pediatrician. And that is going to help you so much and give you a lot of peace of mind. So as you can see, there is a lot that happens in this postpartum period in terms of taking care of your baby above all else. Like I said earlier on, take care of yourself, okay?

 

00;48;48;11 – 00;49;12;24

Dr. Mona

In the craziness, don’t lose yourself. Take a moment for yourself. Go cry if you just feel overwhelmed. It’s okay to cry. Utilize your resources. If you’re fortunate enough to have someone help you take care of baby. Whether it’s a significant other, whether it’s grandma, whether it’s a nanny, whether it’s a friend. Utilize your resources and reach out to people and say, hey, look, I’m exhausted, I need help.

 

00;49;12;26 – 00;49;32;20

Dr. Mona

You know, we went through a really hard delivery, and if it wasn’t for my husband and my mom postpartum, you know, obviously I had my sister there, during the the trauma that happened in the hospital. But when we got home, having my husband and mom literally asked me what I need. What do you need? What do you need?

 

00;49;32;22 – 00;49;58;10

Dr. Mona

It was so helpful. And I get a little emotional talking about it because it it really allowed me to heal. It really allowed me to physically and emotionally heal, having that sort of support. And I consider myself very, very fortunate to have had that because it is insanely hard taking care of a baby, especially when you’re dealing postpartum, whether you had a vaginal delivery C-section, what we go through is extremely painful.

 

00;49;58;12 – 00;50;21;03

Dr. Mona

And, you know, I had an I had two surgeries and the C-section and then the surgery after I was in so much pain to the point where I couldn’t even lift Ryan and my mom was there, you know, she would help me and my husband was there, and it was so hard for me to not be able to lift my own son, but to know that there was people with me, to support me and emotionally support me was so important.

 

00;50;21;03 – 00;50;43;11

Dr. Mona

And the best thing you can do is surround yourself with someone who emotionally lifts you up. My husband is amazing, but it was my mom who spoke to me in what I needed and find that person for you postpartum, okay? Because they’re going to be the ones that help you emotionally get through the 3 a.m. feedings. Get through all of that because it is insanely difficult.

 

00;50;43;11 – 00;50;59;22

Dr. Mona

But it’s not impossible. It’s not forever. We all do it. You’re going to get through it, but never feel like you’re alone and never just feel like you have to do it all by yourself. I think sometimes as moms we feel like, okay, I have to do this, and I, I got to do the part time and I got to do the tummy time.

 

00;50;59;22 – 00;51;20;06

Dr. Mona

Doctor Mona said, do this. Just take it. Take a moment and remember that you got this. You can handle it. You went through pregnancy, you delivered a baby. Whatever it may be, you can do it now. You can handle the newborn period and you do not have to do it alone. If you have those resources, delegate and say, I need to step out for ten minutes.

 

00;51;20;08 – 00;51;41;02

Dr. Mona

I need you to watch this baby. I need to go do this for a half an hour. I need you to help me. Don’t feel like you need to do it all. Your baby is still going to love you. I know this because Ryan looks at me with such admiration and such love. He’s two and a half months now, but I did this in that, in that postpartum period.

 

00;51;41;06 – 00;51;58;05

Dr. Mona

I got my I got a pedicure, I went to the mall, I got out of the apartment, and I left my mom and my husband home alone with the baby. And I am so grateful for that. And I think this is expectation that I have to be there if I’m not there, her there, baby’s not going to love me and they need to feel that I’m nurtured.

 

00;51;58;08 – 00;52;25;13

Dr. Mona

You can take a moment. The baby’s going to love you if you take care of yourself, right? You gotta take care of yourself. And if you take home anything besides taking a moment and pausing, take care of yourself, okay? It’s the most important thing. I am going to do another episode about this because I am so passionate about mothers and fathers taking care of themselves, but it’s the one who birthed the baby needs to take care of themselves.

 

00;52;25;18 – 00;52;50;13

Dr. Mona

The hormones that happen. It is extremely, extremely difficult. The anxiety that depression. For me, it was the PTSD that happened with our traumatic delivery. All these emotions are heavy and when you have to take care of another human being, they are even heavier. So please remember, take care of yourself. And even if it’s small ways, look out for yourself so that you can look after your baby.

 

00;52;50;13 – 00;53;12;23

Dr. Mona

Even better. I really hope this was helpful to you guys. These are all the common questions I get asked. If you have any other questions, comment on my post regarding this topic on Instagram and I can try to get to those questions. As a disclaimer, I do work a full time job and I do have a newborn, so I’ll get back to you if I can.

 

00;53;12;25 – 00;53;29;15

Dr. Mona

I hope you found this episode helpful. As usual, please review this episode if you liked it, share it with the friend. Share it on any of your social media channels. I love, love doing this for you guys and I want to continue doing it for you. Be well. Until next time, talk to you soon!