Do you ever feel you’re overdoing or overthinking parenting? Dr. Aliza Pressman, developmental psychologist, co-founder of the Mount Sinai Parenting Center, host of the podcast Raising Good Humans, and author of the newly released New York Times bestseller The 5 Principles of Parenting, joins me to reflect on parenting and discuss her new book.

We discuss:

• How parents overdo it and how to keep it simple
• The five principles of parenting that can be applied to many different situations
• Why parents shouldn’t always focus on “getting it right”

Connect with Dr. Aliza Pressman on Instagram @raisingoodhumanspodcast and check out The 5 Principles of Parenting Book.

We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on the PedsDocTalk Podcast Sponsors page of the website.

00:00:01:02 – 00:00:19:27
Dr. Aliza Pressman
I want parents to be emboldened to say, hold on. There’s no one size fits all. Let me look at my child. Let me look at their algorithm. Let me think about what their experiences. Let me think about how I can handle that and what boundaries I’m setting. And then we’re good. Yeah. That’s it. The end.

00:00:19:29 – 00:00:41:22
Dr. Mona
Welcome back to the PedsDocTalk podcast, a podcast that continues to grow because of you and your reviews. So make sure you continue leaving those reviews and ratings wherever you can. And sharing your favorite episodes on your social media channels. That is how the show continues to grow, and I get to invite the most amazing guests in parenting, child health, child development.

00:00:41:28 – 00:01:04:22
Dr. Mona
And today’s guest is no stranger to the parenting world. I’m so excited to have her on. She is Doctor Alisa Pressman, developmental psychologist, co-founder of the Mount Sinai Parenting Center. Host of the podcast Raising Good Humans and author of the newly released New York Times bestseller The Five Principles of Parenting. She is a busy woman for all the right reasons.

00:01:04:23 – 00:01:08:02
Dr. Mona
Thank you so much for joining me today. Doctor Pressman.

00:01:08:04 – 00:01:09:27
Dr. Aliza Pressman
Thank you for having me.

00:01:09:29 – 00:01:29:10
Dr. Mona
Thank you. It is such an honor. Like I said, you are a light in the parenting world. You’ve been doing this for quite some time, and I’m new to this space. Generally speaking, in the last four years, I have two small children. But your work, your podcast means so much to me. I look up to you. I am inspired by you so it’s so great to connect today.

00:01:29:12 – 00:01:34:14
Dr. Aliza Pressman
Oh my gosh, you’re so kind. And that is so just. That’s such an honor.

00:01:34:16 – 00:01:44:18
Dr. Mona
Yeah, and tell us more about yourself. If people are not familiar with who you are and also the inspiration behind your new book, which is The Five Principles of Parenting.

00:01:44:21 – 00:01:53:04
Dr. Aliza Pressman
Okay, so I’m the mother of two as well. I’ve got two teenagers. I just came from a college counseling meeting.

00:01:53:08 – 00:01:56:16
Dr. Mona
Oh, I yeah.

00:01:56:19 – 00:02:21:07
Dr. Aliza Pressman
And, I guess I wrote, the five Principles of Parenting. I had no intention of writing a book. I really felt like the podcast was quick and easy for people, and, I could dive into different topics and be supportive, but not put too much. Like, I just don’t like putting more on the to do list for very already inundated parents.

00:02:21:07 – 00:02:49:15
Dr. Aliza Pressman
Yeah. And then I got enough requests for like, what book can I read about this? And it’s like it’s always by a topic. Yes. And I started to I started to think if I could just have everything in one under one roof, like just one book, that’s kind of clearing away the noise, giving you the science and then applying it in every setting for the birth through adolescence that that it would be useful.

00:02:49:15 – 00:03:20:19
Dr. Aliza Pressman
And I also felt like you don’t have to read it at once and like, use it as a resource if it’s helpful. And if not, don’t get it. Like, I definitely don’t want to add to the pile of things I didn’t do list that mothers a particular experience, but all parents and caregivers. That’s basically it. But it seems like it did strike a nerve with people, I think in a good way.

00:03:20:21 – 00:03:44:25
Dr. Aliza Pressman
There’s just been a lot of information that we are all, you know, you’re doing the same thing, like trying to help people clear away the noise and cut to what actually matters, because some stuff really does matter, and I, I would never suggest that we should just go, you know, like, go with our gut because that feels incredibly like, thanks for nothing.

00:03:44:28 – 00:03:54:09
Dr. Aliza Pressman
But I also think there’s been too much, like, so much minutia and so much like it’s exactly how you have to do it when your kids are going to be losers, you know, like.

00:03:54:09 – 00:03:54:25
Dr. Mona
Yeah.

00:03:54:25 – 00:04:14:04
Dr. Aliza Pressman
Yeah, it’s so it just put so much pressure. And I also know if you’re reading, if you’re even buying a parenting book, I think a lot of people buy the means, read them. And then until something comes up, you’re like, I’m good. Yeah. But I think even just buying the book or listening to the podcast, you’re already doing great.

00:04:14:04 – 00:04:22:14
Dr. Aliza Pressman
You’re curious, you’re interested. And so I don’t want anybody to feel less than. I’d rather just help everybody feel equipped and a bit of relief.

00:04:22:16 – 00:04:47:17
Dr. Mona
Well, already that piece that you just shared here is like the motivational end of this episode. I love it. Like, let’s not consume so much more that we’re feeling like we’re not doing a great job. And I think, you know, even as a creator, you know, you obviously have your podcast, you have the book. I think the fact that you have this insight into understanding that you want to get this really useful, tangible information out there, but not contribute to over information anxiety that can come with that.

00:04:47:17 – 00:05:06:12
Dr. Mona
That is exactly what I do. You know, I’m a pediatrician, so I do health development and parenting and it’s this art of I want you to know this because I really think we can simplify parenting, but I also don’t want you to feel that this has to be an overwhelming experience. And I also love, you know, you have your perspective of having children that are older.

00:05:06:19 – 00:05:22:23
Dr. Mona
I have young children, you know, a four year old and a nine month old. And I still I know I’m like, really? I’m still young in that process, but I still feel like I have that insight into what you are sharing, right? That, hey, there are some principles that we’re going to talk about. It’s not going to take up all your energy and time.

00:05:22:23 – 00:05:35:07
Dr. Mona
It’s not going to be this overwhelming thing because parenting doesn’t have to be this overwhelming thing that I think a lot of my generation especially, is making it up. Yeah. So I’m sure you can see that.

00:05:35:10 – 00:05:59:21
Dr. Aliza Pressman
I can and I so I run a lot of parent groups and mostly mothers groups. And that has been an interesting shift because those started, I think, 17 years ago before I think there was as much content out there. Yes. And I can see the shift and I can see the pressure now that there hasn’t always been pressure.

00:05:59:21 – 00:06:21:17
Dr. Aliza Pressman
Like, let’s not pretend that it used to be so easy back in the day. And we didn’t. We were so relaxed, like, yeah, every generation has it. Burden. But I do think that there is some kind of message right now that makes it all so precious and complicated and that everything needs to have these exact words or you’ve blown it.

00:06:21:17 – 00:06:49:19
Dr. Aliza Pressman
Or like, this exact decision is there’s one particular best practice, and that just doesn’t seem fair to parents. And what I really love is it is much more simple, like it’s the hardest job in the world emotionally, but it’s not that hard. Like, I’m almost embarrassed when I answer people’s questions because I am like, I could say it applied to different things, whether it’s a nine month old or a 19 year old.

00:06:49:22 – 00:07:12:21
Dr. Aliza Pressman
But if you really break it down, I’m saying the same thing about every situation. It’s very unusual that my answer is going to change, and it’s sort of plug and play, but not because I’m trying to simplify it, because it just is much more simple than we realize. I think sometimes we’re looking for like a silver bullet. Yeah, that’s not there.

00:07:12:27 – 00:07:13:13
Dr. Aliza Pressman

00:07:13:15 – 00:07:28:29
Dr. Mona
I love it. I love it because you just mentioned something about the saying the right thing. You know, I think especially I’m being honest with, like, this last five years on social and a lot of, a lot of the scripts, you know, like, hey, say this and not this. And I, I tend to stay away with a lot of that.

00:07:29:02 – 00:07:49:14
Dr. Mona
I, I do believe that we can teach phrases that are really empowering, but yet those scripts come Perry’s kind of losing that intuition of like, well, that doesn’t feel natural to me, or that’s not something that I’m used to saying. So then they worry, well, now I just said the wrong thing. And then there’s that self guilt and that cycle of, well, now I ruined my kid because I didn’t say the right words to my child.

00:07:49:14 – 00:08:06:01
Dr. Mona
So, yeah, I love this and I love that you are bringing principles that go through the stages. I also do something similar on my podcast. I didn’t realize that that was gonna be your book, but I do something similar. I talk about principles and I say, look, whether your kid’s a teenager or a baby, you’re going to be able to bring this foundation.

00:08:06:01 – 00:08:24:18
Dr. Mona
So I want I want to hear what your, you know, your principles are and you provide five simple principles. And I think if I could be like, there’s only five, but I can’t wait to hear them because I really think they embody, like you said, the entire journey of being a parent. So what are those principles and why do you think that they’re they matter and that they’re useful?

00:08:24:20 – 00:08:30:27
Dr. Aliza Pressman
Okay. And just on this script thing, if you love a script, go for it. Yes, exactly.

00:08:30:29 – 00:08:33:13
Dr. Mona
And I also use scripts. Yeah.

00:08:33:16 – 00:08:55:02
Dr. Aliza Pressman
Yeah, I did in the second half of the book where I was. Yes, trying to make things really practical. I gave examples, but I was very clear that like, these words are just my these are to try them out. But like if it helps, but if it doesn’t feel authentic or it just feels annoying, these are not the words themselves are not evidence based.

00:08:55:02 – 00:09:24:02
Dr. Aliza Pressman
This is just like my way of making your life easier today. But let’s not call that science. So the principles are and I chose five that are rooted in the developmental science and that are in our control. I really wanted to make sure that it was like the things that we can actually do something about. So that’s really step reflection, regulation rules and repair.

00:09:24:04 – 00:09:52:17
Dr. Aliza Pressman
And I think it’s you decide that our words are not your favorite thing and you change the words. There’s still you’re going to realize, like as we walk through anything in this field, they go under one of these umbrellas. The like relationship might be attachment, it might be attunement. It might be connection. It might be, something that isn’t in your mind relationship, but it’s relationship.

00:09:52:24 – 00:09:57:11
Dr. Aliza Pressman
Yeah. So I just I just chose our words to make it easy for the cluttered mind.

00:09:57:13 – 00:10:18:09
Dr. Mona
I love it. And then also it’s a nice it’s a nice little package there too. And so I love that. And let’s I would love to use an example. So in the second half of your book, you demonstrate how those five principles of parenting can be applied to common parenting situations throughout the years. But can you walk us through how to apply the five hours that you mentioned using an example?

00:10:18:09 – 00:10:26:27
Dr. Mona
And I’m open to your suggestion. If you don’t have one, we can use Screen Time, but if you have another example, I’m open to that too. Now let’s take a break to hear from our sponsors.

00:10:27:00 – 00:10:54:09
Dr. Aliza Pressman
I’m happy to use Screen Time, and I think you can use it from screens and toddlers to screen agers to, you know, whatever. Yeah. But the first thing is, like when you think about setting like, what is my limit, what matters to me and what your rules are and I go through like how to come up with them in the book, but I don’t know what your rules need to be because I don’t share your values necessarily.

00:10:54:09 – 00:11:16:05
Dr. Aliza Pressman
So we might have some that are aligned. I have a sneaking suspicion that there are many values that are shared, but who am I to presume to know? So I want parents to kind of figure out what their values are and make those rules matter for them. And those are the boundaries and the limits that we set. So let’s say you’ve decided what you’re feeling comfortable with around screens.

00:11:16:05 – 00:11:40:02
Dr. Aliza Pressman
And one family might say we are screen three. We don’t do screens. And another family says, you know, we do limited screen time and another family says, I don’t want that to be my argument, so I’m not going to pay attention to that. Will I tell you that the science says you should reduce screen time? Yeah. Like and do I think social media needs tremendous yes, I realize I do.

00:11:40:05 – 00:11:58:07
Dr. Aliza Pressman
But how you go about setting those limits is you need to have a close relationship with your child so that when you set the limits, those limits make sense to them. And they understand that they have nothing to do with your love for them, and that when they break those limits, they break the rules, they do make mistakes.

00:11:58:07 – 00:12:26:13
Dr. Aliza Pressman
Or you do that, you make repairs that you can come back to being reconnected again and that in between that when you know that your relationship is solid. To say, like, you maybe connect. I know you really love that show. Yeah. And you really want to watch another episode. And so that’s your relationship is like, I’m going to connect with you right now because I see you’re laughing and you’re having a really good time.

00:12:26:15 – 00:12:50:25
Dr. Aliza Pressman
And also I might reflect either a before I say something or after, why am I so freaked out about screens? What does it mean? What am I worried about? I can tell you as an adult. As an adult, as a mother, as a mother of teenagers. Yeah, I know exactly what I’m freaked out about. I’m freaked out that social media is going to mess with them.

00:12:51:00 – 00:13:26:22
Dr. Aliza Pressman
Yeah, in a way that is irreparable damage. And I need to make sure that I’m not writing an entire story of their future because they’ve been on it for an extra 20 minutes that I didn’t expect. So I need to reflect in order to self-regulate. And then coming in in a close relationship and saying like, hey, whether again, whether you’re saying you really love that show to your young one or to your teenager, I know you have like a really good time on this, and I know that it’s how you connect with your friends, my job to keep you safe.

00:13:26:25 – 00:13:46:19
Dr. Aliza Pressman
So I have to take a phone right now and it’s bedtime. Or it’s like getting dark or whatever your rule is, and I’m not coming in hot because I’m regulated. So I’ve already taken my breath. I’ve already decided what really matters to me because I’ve reflected. I’ve even thought, like, how would my parents have set a limit when I was a kid?

00:13:46:22 – 00:14:05:21
Dr. Aliza Pressman
Would they have just come in and grabbed the phone and been like, I’m screaming at you? Or would they have been like, scared of my big feelings? Like, I could tell you right now that I think I probably could scare the daylights out of my parents with anger, sadness as a teenager or as a toddler. And they would have been like, wait a minute, I’m not going to keep my limit.

00:14:05:21 – 00:14:30:09
Dr. Aliza Pressman
I’m not going to do this to you because it’s too hard for you. And so what did I learn? That being upset was terrible. So I shouldn’t feel that way. And so it needs to be fixed immediately. So I would do that, make my decision as a parent. And now if my kid doesn’t like it, I can check that box of like, wait a minute, we have a relationship that can withstand this hard time.

00:14:30:11 – 00:15:06:21
Dr. Aliza Pressman
I’m feeling pretty good about it because I had a moment to reflect and I’m regulated. I took a breath. I’m not operating from a place of fear. I’m clear on my limits and we’ll make a reconnection and repair once everybody feels a little bit more come. Yeah. The end. And so when you get inundated by the news on how terrible screen time is, or you’re worried that your kid is not going to read in kindergarten because they watch too much TV for your scared that your teenager is going to go through major depression and they’ve been on their social media.

00:15:06:24 – 00:15:28:06
Dr. Aliza Pressman
I want parents to be emboldened to say, hold on, there’s no one size fits all. Let me look at my child. Let me look at their algorithm. Let me think about what their experiences. Let me think about how I can handle that and what boundaries I’m setting. And then we’re good. Yeah. That’s it. The end. It doesn’t need to be a bigger story.

00:15:28:06 – 00:15:35:22
Dr. Aliza Pressman
And it doesn’t. It certainly doesn’t need to turn into like a whole book. You just need a paragraph.

00:15:35:26 – 00:15:53:12
Dr. Mona
Yes. And it’s a moment. Right. It’s at the moment is a paragraph, that whole screen time moment. But like you said, using your principles can really help when you say, okay, this is the five hours, your screen time, but that same principles, let’s apply it to when they refuse food. Why are you upset when they refuse the food?

00:15:53:14 – 00:16:15:01
Dr. Mona
What is that about? Is it because your parents had an issue with food insecurity? What is it? I mean, it’s definitely there’s so many layers there that in a split second and, you know, speaking as a newer parent and, you know, loving the work that you do, I think sometimes people hear this and they think it’s such a difficult thing to do in the moment, but when you start doing it enough, it does just take it to yeah, it becomes second nature.

00:16:15:01 – 00:16:27:21
Dr. Mona
Like you said it. We we can tend to say to ourselves, oh, but that’s not going to work or that’s too hard because we don’t do it consistently. But when you do it consistently, I can absolutely relate to it. It actually does work in the long run.

00:16:27:24 – 00:16:38:08
Dr. Aliza Pressman
Yeah. You know, I think that’s the key phrase is in the long run, because one of the things that we’re always hoping for is like it doesn’t work, as in my kid didn’t look at me and say, oh yeah, here’s my screen.

00:16:38:11 – 00:16:40:03
Dr. Mona
Yes. It’s not the yeah. That’s not yeah.

00:16:40:04 – 00:16:58:27
Dr. Aliza Pressman
Thanks for giving me that lesson. But in the long run it’s going to be messy and it’s going to be ugly and it’s really exhausting. But once you become sort of fluent and the whole reason that I sort of separated the book from the science and then the practice was I wanted to repeat myself so many times with different scenarios, because I get it.

00:16:58:27 – 00:17:17:18
Dr. Aliza Pressman
It’s easy for me to be like, oh yeah, you just do this with the five hours. But I understand that that is because I have many years of experience and practice, so I just want everybody else to just have that. And then you don’t need like, I’m going to take a class on just screen time. I’m going to take a class on just how to deal with potty training.

00:17:17:18 – 00:17:38:19
Dr. Aliza Pressman
I’m gonna do just tears in school because each time you go through that, those principles and you realize it’s the same, I’ll tell you last night, which is a disclosure that I probably should ask my daughter for permission for, but I’ll be super vague. But we had a really like a, I would say, one of our bigger falling outs that I’ve had with my older daughter.

00:17:38:21 – 00:18:00:01
Dr. Aliza Pressman
I lost my temper with her. I really don’t lose my temper very much with my kids. I have done a lot of practice. It’s not because I’m a better parent, it’s because my kids are older, it’s easier, and I’ve had a lot of practice and I’ve been I bend a little bit like I practice a lot of self-regulation.

00:18:00:03 – 00:18:23:27
Dr. Aliza Pressman
But I lost my cool. I was so in a shame spiral over the minute I did it, I was like, I can’t handle how horrible. I just dealt with it. It was like a sibling fight that I just couldn’t keep my act together for. And I was so disappointed at myself and I kind of went into my room.

00:18:23:27 – 00:18:48:14
Dr. Aliza Pressman
Is is like, we’re now in an argument where we’ve gone our separate ways, and I’m sort of upset because I know already I’m already regretting it. And I said to myself, like, what would I say to myself if I were my clients? Or, you know, like, what would I say to a friend? And I would say, this relationship is strong enough to handle this fight, and we can come back together and make repairs.

00:18:48:14 – 00:19:11:05
Dr. Aliza Pressman
I just need to regulate and I know exactly what happened. Yeah, I saw something going on with my daughters that reminded me of something that happened with my sister, and I was so reactive. So then a little bit of time went by and lo and behold, my daughter and I came to each other and I gave her a big hug.

00:19:11:05 – 00:19:39:17
Dr. Aliza Pressman
And I was like, I hated how I did that, I am so sorry. And she was like, I know. She was like, we’re good. Like we talked it through. I was like, oh yeah, relationships protect us. They really do. And the repair was so much easier because, yeah, I wasn’t repairing a lifetime of harm. I just was repairing a five minute tie like tie reinstatement time.

00:19:39:19 – 00:20:01:29
Dr. Aliza Pressman
And afterwards we were fine. We had a lovely night and I was like, I don’t want that to happen very often. That was not something that I’m proud of. But I also was like, oh yeah, this is real. Like, yeah, like we are okay. And this was the same thing. And I went through those five hours in my head and I was a little annoyed at first because I’m like, I can’t believe I’m doing this with my own brain.

00:20:01:29 – 00:20:04:11
Dr. Aliza Pressman
But yeah, but it’s true.

00:20:04:18 – 00:20:25:24
Dr. Mona
Now let’s take a break to hear from our sponsors. Thank you so much for sharing that story, because my listeners love hearing stories from people who are writing books about parenting. Yeah, who are writing books about parenting, and stuff. So I really appreciate that because even though you may be an expert in the field, we obviously are all going through the same exact situations.

00:20:25:24 – 00:20:48:18
Dr. Mona
We’re not superheroes by any means. So that bullying, yeah, it is humbling and it actually makes you a better, better person because of it. In terms of the work that you do when you say, yeah, like from the time of this recording, same thing. My four year old was irritating me and I lost my cool. And like you said, because we have such a strong connection, because he knows that I’m always there for him and that I have his back.

00:20:48:18 – 00:21:11:07
Dr. Mona
That repair was so quick. There was no big production about it, and he knows that mommy had a bad day and mommy was being irritable, and I apologize. And that apology repair part of your hours is like, it’s so humbling. And I think, again, speaking to, you know, parents overthinking it, overdoing. I think sometimes we forget, well, okay, I can’t do the repair or then they’re not going to look at me as this authority figure.

00:21:11:07 – 00:21:32:19
Dr. Mona
No part of being an authority figure and a healthy, loving authority figure is that like the connection, that repair. And I think it’s such a beautiful thing to hear that story and know that I think so many of us and my listeners relate to that sort of thing, because we’ve all been there. No one is going to no parent, no parent, even the most mindful yoga meditation guru is going to lose their cool.

00:21:32:19 – 00:21:35:28
Dr. Mona
And it’s human nature. So I appreciate you sharing that.

00:21:36:00 – 00:22:03:09
Dr. Aliza Pressman
And you know, I believe the science that like, you can’t actually have as strong a relationship if you haven’t experienced the small ruptures. Yes, you make the repairs like that. Science is decades old and it’s still beautiful to me. And I still think about it. And I still thought about it last night. And it is so true. It’s one thing to share the science, it’s another thing to experience it and just, wow, do I just get blown away?

00:22:03:09 – 00:22:08:03
Dr. Aliza Pressman
Still, to this day, I’m like, man, it’s humbling. And also it’s beautiful.

00:22:08:05 – 00:22:24:16
Dr. Mona
Yeah. Oh, I love it. I could talk to you forever about the beauty of parenting. I share it so deeply, the struggle and how hard it is, but also just it is amazing to be able to foster that. And I don’t want my kids to grow fast. There’s no rush that I have because I know how fast it goes.

00:22:24:16 – 00:22:45:15
Dr. Mona
As a pediatrician, seeing my babies now be nine years old after looking at my yeah, like they grow. And I am excited for that journey. When you know that these principles exist and that you can take it step by step, that although teenage years are different than the toddler years, there’s a lot of development of similarities between kids that are teenagers and the autonomy, desire and all of that.

00:22:45:22 – 00:23:07:24
Dr. Mona
Of course, the approach is going to be a little different. I know you spoke earlier and we talked about the inundation of, you know, parenting advice available out there. And so finding that sweet spot between micromanagement and chaos, how does your book, which is a parenting book, giving information, how does it actually help parents rely less on parenting advice?

00:23:07:26 – 00:23:46:04
Dr. Aliza Pressman
Well, the first thing I think it does is it lays out the science and kind of simplifies it, like it’s not that complicated. So you can keep going back to the same principles and apply them in every setting. And then you stop needing anything. Yeah. Like ideally, of course, if there’s an emergency, if there’s something that’s very off topic or unusual, you should of course seek out support an expert and a pediatrician and say like, hey, I’m out of this doesn’t feel right, like something’s going on.

00:23:46:06 – 00:24:13:24
Dr. Aliza Pressman
But most things are very easy to navigate, going back to the same principles, and it’s just a matter of believing it. It’s just a matter of saying like, wait, that’s it, like I did it. That’s the response. You’re not necessarily, again, getting the thank you for being such an awesome parent every time. And like, oh yes, I will be the perfect kid.

00:24:13:27 – 00:24:50:02
Dr. Aliza Pressman
Yeah, but you are doing the thing that you need to be doing from your end. You’re cleaning your side of the street in this relationship. And I do very much care about the balance between the chaos of not giving information and the rigidity of the too much information. So I, I hope that this book and generally my tone and, and any of the work that I do, is that really boring in the middle amount of information, what you need to know, but what is actually relevant and helpful and the rest?

00:24:50:04 – 00:25:25:26
Dr. Aliza Pressman
Sometimes it’s fun to learn about. Like there are times if you and I are talking about child development, maybe we are going to get really in the weeds because it’s fascinating to us and it’s not going to stress us out because it’s just more academically interesting, frankly. But that’s different. And so I provide a little bit of that, like I want if you have a four year old for you to know that your child’s probably gotten to the developmental stage of theory of mind and understanding that different people have different perspectives and how cool that stage is compared to, you know, your two year old to be like making all sorts of assumptions that we

00:25:25:26 – 00:25:52:11
Dr. Aliza Pressman
all view the world the same way. That’s so cool. How does that apply to all parents? Well, it might make you think your two year old is a little bit less manipulative than you might be saying they are, and it might make you feel a little bit more comfortable with how that your 4 or 5 year old has figured out how to tell a fib because they’re like, yeah, well, it turns out I can take the perspective of another person and see what they might want me to say.

00:25:52:11 – 00:26:31:00
Dr. Aliza Pressman
And I could say it. So I think it’s helpful. But I also recognize that if you said to me, this is too much, this is too much in the weeds, like, I don’t really want to know that information that we can go back to the five hours. So I don’t know if I answered the question other than to say I was pretty choosy about the information that I gave, and I included things that are interesting and might be relevant to specific topics, specific pain points or challenges, but that ultimately I want everybody to feel safe knowing that if you just lean on the five principles, obviously that’s not the only thing that I put in

00:26:31:00 – 00:26:41:16
Dr. Aliza Pressman
the book. But just if you lean on that and you’re overwhelmed with all the information out there, that you’re good, that you’re going to be doing the thing that you need to be doing.

00:26:41:19 – 00:26:57:16
Dr. Mona
Yeah. Well, I mean, this in combination with your show, your podcast and all the resources that you do, I think, really embody that. So you did answer that question. And I think in just such a great way with this whole conversation, what would be a final message for everyone listening today?

00:26:57:18 – 00:27:26:10
Dr. Aliza Pressman
What would be a final message? Well, I mean, you’re here, so I’m very excited for all of your children. They’re very lucky, you know. Yeah, they’ve got curious caregivers. And so I think that everybody should just today, right now have a moment of just kind of, you know, saying like, I’ve got this. Yes. And we are here for you when you feel a little bit overwhelmed, like, nobody has to do this alone.

00:27:26:12 – 00:27:31:00
Dr. Aliza Pressman
I just don’t want people to feel like they can’t do it without us.

00:27:31:02 – 00:27:45:28
Dr. Mona
Yes. Yeah. Oh, such a pleasure connecting with you. I love this conversation. Where can people purchase your book and also where can they stay connected? Sharing your podcast again, I’ll be sharing all these links on my show notes as well.

00:27:46:00 – 00:28:08:02
Dr. Aliza Pressman
Thank you. You can buy the book anywhere you like to get books. I prefer bookshop.org because little thing I learned selling books. I had no idea you can support local bookshops by going to that website. Wonderful line. I think that’s cool. Yeah. But either go to Amazon, I just like supporting local bookshops, but with the King.

00:28:08:03 – 00:28:30:25
Dr. Aliza Pressman
That’s wonderful. Like your phone? Yeah. I’m on Instagram at Raising Good Humans podcast, and I have a Substack, free Substack. Doctor Liza pressman.com. No, it’s actually the president@substack.com. And, so all those all those ways and I’m wishing everybody well. And it was so nice to meet you.

00:28:30:27 – 00:28:48:13
Dr. Mona
Yes. It was so nice connecting. I hope we connect again, on my show and hopefully on your show as well. I love talking about all this, all this stuff, child development and parenting. And so for everyone listening, I’m sure you love this episode. Please check out her book, check out all her resources as well as well as her show.

00:28:48:16 – 00:29:02:04
Dr. Mona
The Reason Good Human podcast. And I really, if you like the show, make sure you leave a review and a rating. Call out Doctor Alisa Pressman episode. It really helps us throughout the show, and I cannot wait to chat with another guest next week.