On this episode I welcome Allison, the owner and founder of The Potty Training Consultant (@pottytrainingconsultant on Inatagram), to discuss the basics of potty training.

She is a mother of two and her company has helped thousands of families around the world in their potty training journey.

We discuss:

• The average age of potty training in America
• Signs of readiness
• A couple methods to consider
• How to determine which method may be best for your child
• What a parent should do if their child is resistant to potty training
• What are some barriers to potty training

00;00;06;12 – 00;00;35;27

Dr. Mona

Hey, everyone. Welcome to the PedsDocTalk podcast. I’m your host, Doctor Mona, where each week I hope to educate and inspire you in your journey through parenthood with information on your most common concerns as a parent and interviews with fellow parents and experts in the field. My hope is you leave each week feeling more educated, confident, and empowered in decisions you make for your child.

 

00;00;35;29 – 00;00;58;24

Dr. Mona

Welcome to this week’s episode where I am discussing a topic that so many of my followers at PedsDocTalk DM me about, which is potty training, and I am so excited to welcome Allison, who is the owner and founder of Potty Training Consultant and has her own Instagram page and website, potty training consulting on Instagram. And she’s going to be discussing potty training with me today.

 

00;00;58;27 – 00;01;01;06

Dr. Mona

Thank you so much, Allison, for joining us.

 

00;01;01;08 – 00;01;03;22

Allison

Yeah, thanks for having me on. I’m happy to be here.

 

00;01;03;25 – 00;01;08;18

Dr. Mona

So how long have you been doing potty training consulting? And why did you start this path?

 

00;01;08;23 – 00;01;31;23

Allison

Yes, I know it’s, it’s somewhat unusual. I think most parents would find, to choose to want to do potty training. But I’ve been doing potty training, professionally now for about three and a half years. As you know, as my business. And it’s been going amazingly, because there’s so many parents out there that need that extra support when it comes to potty training.

 

00;01;31;23 – 00;01;57;19

Allison

So those of you that are struggling, please don’t feel bad and don’t feel alone because it happens to so many people. And I got started in potty training from, being a mom myself, so I have two of my own little ones. There now four and six years old. But I first developed kind of a little passion for potty training when I was potty training my son, and, I just really loved it.

 

00;01;57;19 – 00;02;19;20

Allison

Something about seeing him develop this new skill and seeing how proud he was of himself and all those kinds of things that got wrapped up into it. Really made me, really made me kind of love it. And, and then I kind of, you know, started just pouring all my research into it and seeing how many parents kind of, you know, struggle with this.

 

00;02;19;20 – 00;02;48;25

Allison

A lot of family and friends would ask me for advice because my son kind of made it look easy. And then my daughter, when I potty trained her a couple of years later, she was the total opposite. So I’ve I’ve had it both ways. I’ve had one really easy and one really, really hard. So that was kind of what made me realize that there’s no one size fits all approach to potty training and that, you know, there needs to be more reliable resources out there for parents who are struggling.

 

00;02;48;25 – 00;03;02;26

Allison

And that was my goal in creating my business, is that I just wanted to bring that help because there’s so many, experts and consultants in other fields for parenting, so. And why not potty training when it can be such a challenge for so many?

 

00;03;02;26 – 00;03;25;20

Dr. Mona

So I agree it is a challenge. And you brought it up beautifully that there is no one size fits all approach. You know, we talk about sleep, behavior, all the different things in parenting. Every parent is different. And like you said perfectly, every child is different too. So even within the same family, you could do a certain method with your older child, and then the second child is not going to take to that method.

 

00;03;25;20 – 00;03;36;10

Dr. Mona

So I think it’s so nice that parents are going to be able to hear a few different methods and understand that there is no one size fits all approach. Are most of your clients a certain age?

 

00;03;36;13 – 00;03;57;20

Allison

So, I mean, I’ve worked with families from from all ages, anywhere from as young as 14 months up to, 11 years old. So it really varies. But most of it, about 85% of my clients fall between 3 and 4 years old. Which kind of aligns with the, with the average potty training age in the US.

 

00;03;57;20 – 00;04;01;08

Allison

And, that tends to be where, where most of the kids fall.

 

00;04;01;11 – 00;04;10;00

Dr. Mona

So yeah, let’s talk about averages actually. So what is the average age in terms of, you know, in the US for boys and girls? Is it different? Is it the same?

 

00;04;10;02 – 00;04;27;08

Allison

It’s it varies by a couple of months, but the average overall is right around, 36 months. For girls, it’s a little bit on the younger end, I think girls is around 32 months and boys are around 38 months. So it kind of averages out right around 36.

 

00;04;27;10 – 00;04;32;09

Dr. Mona

And you mentioned that in the U.S, in other countries, do you feel like it’s early or later?

 

00;04;32;11 – 00;04;53;22

Allison

Actually, yeah, in a lot of countries, you know, especially in eastern cultures, it tends to be a lot younger. Most kids, are potty trained somewhere between 12 and 18 months in those countries. And it’s just I think it’s more of a cultural difference. And it has a lot to do with the accessibility and availability of disposable diapers.

 

00;04;53;22 – 00;05;14;24

Allison

I think, as well as having more of, kind of a family support system. You know, families here tend to, you know, live just mom, dad and kids, whereas, you know, in other countries they have more of a family like group type living. So there’s a lot of factors that play into it. But I do find it to be younger in a lot of other countries.

 

00;05;14;29 – 00;05;31;10

Dr. Mona

Yeah. I agree, you know, a lot of the the thought process of why might be a little bit later and there’s nothing wrong with it being later. It’s just that, like you said, the, a child may not be ready, but also the diapers are super absorbent. We have accessibility to diapers and, you know, it’s just it’s nice.

 

00;05;31;21 – 00;05;57;22

Dr. Mona

And I do see, sometimes parents wait when maybe their child can be ready earlier and we’ll get into, you know, signs of readiness and tips and all that in this episode. But I, I agree to that. I do see a difference in Western or United States versus, you know, developing countries or eastern countries. So yes. Do you feel that toddlers should start potty training at a certain time or when they show certain signs of readiness, or is it a combination of both?

 

00;05;57;24 – 00;06;40;20

Allison

Yeah. So it’s kind of a combination of both the child’s age. And, you know, developmental readiness and then also a combination of your family’s lifestyle and timeline and, daily routines and things like that have to come into play as well. So usually I’ve, I’ve kind of honed it in for, you know, average children that, you know, the ideal kind of age to start potty training at least introducing the concept of potty training is between 22 and 28 months, which is, lower than the average right now in the US, but that tends to be the age that kids are most, developmentally ready for the process.

 

00;06;40;20 – 00;07;03;14

Allison

As in, they’re, you know, well, from a biological perspective, they’re starting to have more control over their bladder and their bowels. You know, and then developmentally as well, they’re starting to become more aware of their body. And, you know, you may notice that they start to ask to have their diaper changed when they’re wet or dirty or, just having a general interest in the bathroom and wanting to know what’s going on in there.

 

00;07;03;27 – 00;07;28;19

Allison

Hiding to have a bowel movement. Maybe they’re staying dry for naps and overnight now where they weren’t before. So those are some of the kind of signs that you can look for. But it’s also important too, that you can’t nail it down to just a specific age or number, because you have to also consider your your daily life and make sure that potty training is something that can fit in your your lifestyle without being super stressful for your child or for the parents.

 

00;07;29;02 – 00;07;48;07

Allison

So you don’t want to introduce potty training when there’s a lot of change taking place? You know, if you’re moving or having a new baby or going through a divorce or something like that, you want to wait until life is kind of settle down and as normal as possible. So before you introduce potty training to to keep it smooth and consistent for everyone.

 

00;07;48;09 – 00;08;03;06

Dr. Mona

Yeah, very similar to a lot of the other things we do in parenting. Like I said earlier, sleep, if you’re trying to modify a certain behavior, it takes that repetition and also that consistent and patience. And sometimes it can take like with sleep. And if you’re trying to change, like I said, something in the behavior, it can change.

 

00;08;03;06 – 00;08;20;11

Dr. Mona

It can take a few days to a week or two weeks to finally start to see changes. So when you’re kind of going through like different life changes, a new sibling comes into the picture or, you know, you’re moving. Like you said, it can really disrupt that sort of repetition that we like to see when we’re trying to quote unquote, train, train a child.

 

00;08;20;11 – 00;08;21;12

Allison

Exactly.

 

00;08;21;15 – 00;08;35;28

Dr. Mona

So what are the various methods I, you mentioned beautifully the signs of readiness, and you have two children who kind of did, different kind of methods, probably. But what would you say are two or maybe three methods that a family can use?

 

00;08;36;09 – 00;09;17;10

Allison

Sure. So you can kind of narrow it down into, like a longer, more drawn out kind of gradual approach. And then there is kind of the like the three day or the weekend methods that you hear about where it’s almost like a, like a boot boot camp type kind of session. So, you know, with a longer, kind of more gradual introduction to potty training would be where, the parent starts, you know, really at any age with having a small potty, letting the child become familiar with it, teaching them things about the bathroom or reading books about using the potty together, talking them through the steps of going to

 

00;09;17;10 – 00;09;35;14

Allison

the bathroom when when the parents are going to the bathroom themselves. You know, kind of all leading up to, to the child using it eventually, you know, you can start out with, just them using the potty at one set time per day. Until they start to get more comfortable and more confident with using it.

 

00;09;35;14 – 00;09;59;17

Allison

And before you, you decide to go in and ditch the diapers all at one time, or you can take more of a, what a lot of people feel will be a faster approach. And that’s just to kind of choose a weekend and, take off all the diapers. And it probably involves letting the child run around naked for a certain period of time, trying to, catch as much poop in the potty as possible.

 

00;09;59;17 – 00;10;13;27

Allison

And, so that would be kind of more of the three day type method that is is quite popular nowadays. I feel like with, parents working schedules, that tends to, to fit in a little bit better than trying to do something more long term.

 

00;10;13;29 – 00;10;33;17

Dr. Mona

Yeah, I find the the shorter method, that method is actually my preferred method. But of course I like talking about the other ones in case that that method doesn’t stick, or in case the family is not amenable to that, because they’re obviously with the, you know, diaper off, maybe even using just regular underwear or being completely naked, there’s likely going to be accidents on the floor.

 

00;10;34;15 – 00;10;51;05

Dr. Mona

There’s likely they’re not going to make it to the toilet all the time. So some families, you know, in my office will say, oh, well, you know, I have carpet and I don’t feel comfortable. And then you have the other option too. So I think I agree there’s those two options there. Do you feel like you can kind of say based on the child or the parent.

 

00;10;51;05 – 00;10;54;17

Dr. Mona

Well, this method might be better for a family.

 

00;10;54;20 – 00;11;15;27

Allison

Yeah. So both factors kind of come into play. It definitely has to be something that, you know, works for your family and your schedule and your beliefs and all of those kinds of things. I usually find that kids that tend to be, more on the stubborn end of the spectrum or that may have more difficulty with change, tend to do better with a more gradual approach.

 

00;11;16;13 – 00;11;41;20

Allison

So that that way you know, you can kind of get them on board with the process without any pressure for them to actually do anything. Before you dive in and actually get rid of diapers, that tends to help them prepare mentally a little bit more for the upcoming changes. Whereas if you have like a kiddo that’s pretty laid back, then, you can do the the weekend method with really no issue, and they tend to take to it pretty quickly.

 

00;11;41;22 – 00;11;51;02

Dr. Mona

This is a gradual method. Usually involve some sort of reward system like sticker charts if the child’s older or really does that just depend on what they want to do with the gradual method?

 

00;11;51;04 – 00;12;13;01

Allison

Yeah, that kind of depends. Usually I don’t recommend, using rewards necessarily until you’re actually in the throes of potty training where you’re actually rewarding potty use. You know, it’s definitely encouraged to, to praise and, you know, you can even do like a little sticker or something like that for their efforts as far as sitting on the potty.

 

00;12;13;10 – 00;12;18;25

Allison

But when you’re just kind of in that building up to phase, then rewards aren’t really needed just yet.

 

00;12;18;27 – 00;12;36;00

Dr. Mona

Awesome. And if you’re doing a gradual method, does that just look like, them obviously, if they’re showing an interest or showing signs, taking them to the potty, or would you recommend them doing like timed use of the potty where it’s, hey, it’s new and let’s use the potty? Or is that just also kind of cater to the family?

 

00;12;36;02 – 00;12;56;08

Allison

Yeah, well, transitional times are always a great time to have potty use because it fits really easily into the routine. And, it can be, you know, it can be a step that’s easily added into the child’s everyday routine already. So, you know, like waking up in the morning, after meals, before sleep time, before leaving the house.

 

00;12;56;08 – 00;13;18;18

Allison

Those are all really good transitional points to introduce potty use. And, and you know, that’s again, something that can fit pretty seamlessly into the child’s routine without causing too much disruption. Aside from that, though, I really try to get parents to shy away from using like, timers and things like that when their kiddos are sitting on the potty.

 

00;13;18;18 – 00;13;46;12

Allison

Just because I find that, the child can start to become dependent on a prompt from their parent, or their, you know, their bladder or bowels may never get full enough to, have their bodies recognize the sensations of when they really need to go. So I find that it really encourages and, you know, accelerates self initiation when you aren’t using those prompted potty times.

 

00;13;46;12 – 00;13;48;26

Allison

Aside from those transitional periods.

 

00;13;48;28 – 00;14;14;06

Dr. Mona

You know, that’s a great point. I agree with that also. And also the timer also can add to stress on the podcast sometimes. And maybe we’ll get into that a little bit. But there is that sort of component that we don’t want to pressure too much. It’s that fine balance of supporting and like you said, encouraging, but also not making this a scary thing because some children can get very scared of the process of poop coming out of their body and splashing into the toilet.

 

00;14;14;06 – 00;14;34;27

Dr. Mona

So, yeah, it’s something very common that I think parents may not realize that that can be scary for a kid. What do you do if a child is showing signs of readiness? You mentioned the signs of readiness earlier, but they’re resistant, meaning they’re fighting it. They you put them on the toilet and they just kick their legs and they’re just not, you know, liking that sort of experience.

 

00;14;34;27 – 00;14;40;11

Dr. Mona

What would be kind of a, gradual way or some tips to kind of helping parents to deal with that.

 

00;14;40;13 – 00;15;02;08

Allison

Yeah. So for kids that are resistant, it can be it can be really confusing for parents because it can kind of send the, the false message that they’re not ready for potty training, which might not necessarily be true. It’s just, kind of the child’s natural, you know, like, defense mechanism to fight against any kind of change in their routine sometimes.

 

00;15;02;08 – 00;15;24;18

Allison

So, it doesn’t necessarily mean that they’re not ready. And, really, I, I always stress that consistency and commitment have to be present in order for you to see success with potty training. So you can’t really be bouncing around too much between, you know, between diapers and underwear, because it’s going to send some mixed messages and the child’s not really going to fully know what’s expected of them.

 

00;15;25;00 – 00;15;49;20

Allison

It’s definitely okay to set some clear boundaries when it comes to potty training. As with any kind of, you know, behavioral aspect. But ultimately, I always tell parents, you know, to kind of search down in, in those instincts, those parental instincts and see, like, you know, are they really not ready for this or is it just are they just being difficult, like, or are they just being resistant to the change?

 

00;15;50;13 – 00;16;17;05

Allison

And sometimes, like I mentioned earlier, kids that tend to to be that way. And you may have noticed that in other aspects of their development that you can take more of that gradual approach to get them on board with the process before you actually start. So that way, they kind of see it coming and it’s not just, you know, something that you’re blindsiding them with one weekend when you decide that, you know, you have three days off in a row, so you’re gonna, have them use the potty instead of a diaper.

 

00;16;17;18 – 00;16;23;24

Allison

So that’s that’s usually what I tell parents to think about, you know, when they’re experiencing those kind of issues.

 

00;16;23;26 – 00;16;33;15

Dr. Mona

And does it matter if you put the toilet on the on the regular toilet? Obviously they have the one there and then they have the one on the ground. Do you have a preference on which one to use?

 

00;16;33;18 – 00;17;06;00

Allison

Well it depends. I usually like a healthy combination of both because, it will help with the transition from, you know, potty to toilet and toileting and other, places, especially out in public or at family members houses and things like that, or at school, so by introducing both from the beginning is usually an ideal situation. If you have a child that’s on the younger end of the spectrum or is petite, or if they’ve had issues with pooping, particularly in the past, then a floor potty can really be a friend for you.

 

00;17;06;11 – 00;17;25;08

Allison

Because it’s, it’s their size. It’s less intimidating than the toilet. There’s a lot less sensory stuff happening with the small potty than there is the regular toilet. And it also puts them in a better position for for having bowel movements. Then, if their feet are just kind of dangling when they’re sitting on the toilet instead.

 

00;17;25;11 – 00;17;45;29

Dr. Mona

And so going back to the, you know, gradual methods in terms of if a child is more resistant to things like preparing them, obviously for the potty training that may happen, that can be helpful. But things like reading, like reading books about potty training, having them see the parent, use the restroom. What are other ways can make a child feel more comfortable with what may happen with potty training?

 

00;17;46;01 – 00;18;12;06

Allison

Yeah, so ultimately, kids that are resistant to something are just kind of trying to maintain some level of control over a situation from what I found. So any way that you’re allowed that you’re able to kind of allow them to feel some sort of control is you know, they allow it to feel as though something that it that you’re doing with them as opposed to something you’re doing to them, so that they feel involved in the process.

 

00;18;12;06 – 00;18;33;01

Allison

So you can kind of take them shopping, maybe not right now with Covid, but take them shopping or look online and let them choose some of their potty supplies. Let them choose their own underwear. Those kinds of things will help them feel included in the process, and they’ll be more likely to use those things properly. If they’ve chosen them themselves, they’ll have that sense of the ownership.

 

00;18;33;17 – 00;19;06;25

Allison

And also, playing like pretend play is a really great way to introduce the concept of potty training, because it allows your child to be the teacher. You know, so you can take their favorite dolls or toys or, whatever, and have the child kind of teach them how to use the potty. And, that can be a really great way because kids learn so well through play and and it and it’s them being in control of the situation as opposed to you being in control of them with their potty.

 

00;19;06;25 – 00;19;13;17

Allison

You so kind of using that in that phase where you’re building up to potty use can be really helpful as well.

 

00;19;13;20 – 00;19;32;25

Dr. Mona

No, that’s a great point. And one of the common things that I see is if children become fearful of the toilet, they can start to withhold their poop. And that’s a whole other issue, like I mentioned earlier. But in the immediate moment where a child is really upset on the toilet, what would a parent do in that situation?

 

00;19;32;28 – 00;19;53;02

Allison

Yeah. So if you can tell that your child is like really afraid and you know, you’re their parent, you know, you know, they they may be they may have that just look of terror in their eyes. They may be cleaning at you, refusing to sit on the potty, crying, all those kinds of things. If they’re exhibiting that kind of behavior, you definitely don’t want to force them to sit on the potty.

 

00;19;53;02 – 00;20;18;15

Allison

If they’re already on the potty, you can remove them from the potty. Just because you don’t want to traumatize them, you know, you don’t want each subsequent attempt then at potty training to be connected to this negative, experience so that that’s it sounds simple. That’s kind of the easiest solution in the moment is to just remove them from the potty, try to distract them with something else for a bit and get them relaxed again, and then maybe try again in a little while.

 

00;20;18;17 – 00;20;25;28

Dr. Mona

And I have a feeling in your practice, you also you probably, take care of some families that are dealing with still withholding in children. Correct.

 

00;20;26;00 – 00;20;54;11

Allison

Quite often unfortunately. Yeah. You know, and that usually tends to just stem from, that kind of fear of the unknown. You know, they’ve only ever pooped in diapers their whole lives and, they’ve, they’ve never had an issue with it, you know, and, when you’re, when you remove the diaper and expect them to poop in the potty instead, it can be quite a fearful experience for them because, when they’ve pooped in their diapers is gross, is all.

 

00;20;54;11 – 00;21;17;07

Allison

This is going to sound, you know, when they poop in their diapers, it comes out, it stays right up against their body, and they kind of start to connect it to being a part of their body in some ways. So when they poop on the potty and it comes out in a way from them, you know, it can almost feel as though, like part of their body is falling out and it can be a really frightening, experience to, to overcome that.

 

00;21;17;07 – 00;21;36;29

Allison

So some kids will just kind of clamp up and start to withhold altogether and say, you know, nope, I’m not going to poop unless, you know, maybe sometimes they save it until they get their nighttime diapers on or whatever. But withholding ultimately always leads to constipation, unfortunately. And that can, you know, cause cause other problems with potty training down the road too.

 

00;21;37;01 – 00;21;56;28

Dr. Mona

Yeah. And usually if we’re dealing with withholding from the medical aspect, we talk about treating the constipation so that we can also help it, that they’ll actually want to use the poop. Because if you’re constipated, you’re also going to have fear of pushing that out because it hurts. So it hurts. Yeah. Just cycle. You know, stool withholding is a cycle of you don’t want to poop because you don’t poop.

 

00;21;56;28 – 00;22;16;11

Dr. Mona

You hold the poop in, it loses water, it becomes hard, and then they’re constipated and then they don’t want to poop. And so, I think the comment that you made of the no pressuring and the sort of understanding that, hey, if they’re not really feeling it, we have to either prepare themselves, prepare them for it rather than pressure is a really important concept.

 

00;22;16;18 – 00;22;34;10

Dr. Mona

And sometimes that happens, you know, sometimes you were doing all the, you know, easy breezy. I’m going to try to stay calm with the potty training. And sometimes they withhold. And then you have your resources like Allison or your pediatrician or other resources to help you, you know, navigate that new, that new phase that you may be going through.

 

00;22;34;12 – 00;22;58;18

Allison

Yeah, exactly. I always tell parents to that is, if the child ever has had a history of withholding or with constipation even before you’ve started potty training, then it’s probably a pretty good idea to talk to your child’s doctor. And maybe get some kind of proactive measures in place before you start potty training to hopefully prevent any constipation from occurring before it gets a chance to start.

 

00;22;58;20 – 00;23;17;16

Dr. Mona

I think that’s a great idea. I think that’s something that usually you can even start talking to your pediatrician about at the 18 month, two year visit, because even if you’re potty training a little bit later, you know, after two years, we often do see a lot of that toddler constipation start, you know, by the 18 month visit, it can happen after two.

 

00;23;17;18 – 00;23;34;07

Dr. Mona

But I think it’s always a great idea to say, hey, I know it might be a little early, but, you know, what are your basic tips on potty training? And my child is dealing with this constipation bout what are your thoughts? And I think that’s such a great point. What do you think the biggest mistake parents are making when approaching potty training?

 

00;23;34;29 – 00;23;56;04

Allison

So I think most parents are waiting a little bit too long, to start potty training. And I know that there is a lot of jargon out there that, you know, just wait until they’re ready. And, there’s there’s not a whole lot of clarity on what that actually means, because I think some parents may take that a little bit too literally.

 

00;23;56;04 – 00;24;35;14

Allison

I think they may be kind of waiting for their child to say that they want to start potty training, which isn’t necessarily the case. So, typically in most cases and, you know, of course, it’s never black and white, but, waiting, you know, until that three year, three and a half year mark to start potty training, can really introduce some other challenges that you may have been able to avoid if you would have started earlier because, you know, kids, they always talk about terrible twos, but the, the three, the three natures kind of take the cake, when it comes to behavior problems.

 

00;24;35;14 – 00;24;54;11

Allison

So, you know, at that point, kids have really started to, to realize that they are separate humans from you and that they can, exert their independence. And, you know, they will really let you know if there’s something that they don’t like to do. And they also tend to get more kind of ingrained in their habits and ingrained in their routine.

 

00;24;54;11 – 00;25;15;14

Allison

And when you try to change that up at three years old, it causes a lot more resistance typically. So, I think if parents were to start a bit earlier and not feel guilty about taking the lead on potty training, if their kiddo hasn’t necessarily come out and and expressed interest necessarily in the potty yet, then, then they might be a lot better off.

 

00;25;15;16 – 00;25;33;13

Dr. Mona

No, this is great. And I think, you know, your concept that you mentioned earlier about talking about all this, you know, it may seem a little weird talking about how poop is part of their body. So when it’s finally leaving them, it’s really weird for them. I think this is important for us to talk about because children have these fears and it’s not irrational.

 

00;25;33;13 – 00;25;51;00

Dr. Mona

It’s fears and it’s their. And sometimes they’re scared of the poop being out of them. Sometimes they’re afraid, like we had mentioned earlier, of the poop splashing in the toilet. And sometimes they’re afraid of the flush. You know, they don’t like the sounds or it’s something new to them. So it’s really understanding that this poop talk is really important.

 

00;25;51;03 – 00;26;13;00

Allison

Yeah, absolutely. It’s it’s definitely something that I think, I mean, like in my generation, with my parents growing up, poop wasn’t really something you talked about, you know, it was something that you kept private. But the reality is we all do it. And, by, I think by not talking about it, it can kind of give our kids the false impression that it’s something negative and really, it’s not.

 

00;26;13;00 – 00;26;37;16

Allison

So I think we need to, start from a very young age, praising our kids for pooping even before he started potty training, you know, and talk about how it’s healthy and it makes your body feel better when you go when those kinds of things, instead of referring to it as stinky or dirty and, which can kind of resonate with some kids, and then they get this negative impression and then they don’t want to poop when it comes time to, to actually need to go.

 

00;26;37;18 – 00;27;00;05

Dr. Mona

That’s a great tip. And like you said, everything can start a little bit earlier, even if the process is not starting officially until, you know, the toddler years or two years old. You know, priming them basically, and even if you’re not in the throes of potty training these little things, you know how you introduce them to the potty, even just having it in the bathroom before you even start to actually train them?

 

00;27;00;18 – 00;27;16;29

Dr. Mona

Can be really helpful. What are some other tips? You know, trying to prepare them for the potty training in terms of you mentioned books and talking to them about it, what would be kind of like the first day if like a parent was going to do more of a gradual method, what would that kind of look like for a family?

 

00;27;17;02 – 00;27;39;23

Allison

Yeah. So if you’re just getting started, then I would recommend, getting some books from the library probably would be my first step about potty training. And, as you’re reading through them with your kiddo kind of start, you know, asking them questions and, you know, seeing how much they know about it already, because they may know more than you think just from seeing you in the bathroom and things like that.

 

00;27;39;25 – 00;27;55;27

Allison

So that’s a really good way to get you know, get the conversation started, if you will, about potty training. And then, you know, eventually you can say, how would you know? How would you feel about using the potty? Like, how would that make you feel and get you know, get a feel from them on on what they think about it?

 

00;27;56;12 – 00;28;14;00

Allison

And that can kind of help you kind of guide the way that you’re going to approach things. If they’re like, oh, I would love to use the potty, then you can be like, okay, well, do you want to do you want to give it a try right now? Because mommy kind of has to go and you can take a turn after me, or something like that, you know, just to kind of spark the conversation.

 

00;28;14;00 – 00;28;33;18

Allison

If they’re like, if I don’t want to use it or if they’re really resistant, like, no, I don’t want to use the potty, then you know, that it’s probably going to be a bit more of a process before they’re, on board to actually start. So that would kind of be my first suggestion would be to start with some books, because that’s a really great way for kids to to learn and get familiar with new ideas.

 

00;28;33;21 – 00;28;42;24

Dr. Mona

Awesome. And then in terms of like that other question I had about like day one, what would that look like if for, you know, trying to train them, what would be kind of an example?

 

00;28;42;27 – 00;29;04;27

Allison

So, so I would suggest having some bottomless time for sure, because that any time your child has a diaper on and unfortunately, I mean, maybe not, unfortunately, but, diaper technology nowadays is so good that, they don’t even get a chance to feel wetness and realize that they’re paying most of the time. So, you know, when they’re actually going.

 

00;29;04;27 – 00;29;30;13

Allison

So having them be bottomless and having that definitive, break of nothing on their bottoms. So no underwear, nothing to be confused with the diaper. Just really helps them build that body awareness and, start to recognize the signals that are happening, the cause and effect, of, oh, I had this kind of tickling feeling in my tummy and then started to come out.

 

00;29;31;06 – 00;29;48;11

Allison

The accidents are really apparent to them, and, they, they can see that really clearly. And also you as the parent can see that really clearly as soon as it starts happening so that you have the opportunity to, to catch some pee in the potty and help them see, okay, you know, nothing scary happens when pee goes in the potty.

 

00;29;48;11 – 00;30;06;23

Allison

And this is where pee belongs and all of those kinds of things. And then you’ll see the gears turning and you’ll start to see, you know, pieces connecting together. And you don’t necessarily have to do multiple days in a row of that kind of thing. You can do it on, you know, a few weekends and just practice and let them get some practice.

 

00;30;06;23 – 00;30;22;13

Allison

And so if you’re doing that more gradual approach, you don’t necessarily have to, you don’t necessarily have to stick with it right away. But letting them get that practice in every so often, will really help. And you should start to see you should start to see some progress from there.

 

00;30;22;16 – 00;30;40;08

Dr. Mona

Oh that’s great. And you know what you do. Your work is so important. And when do you think a family should seek out to help? You know, potty training consultant or get more help? Is it is there a certain red flag that says, okay, we need to we need to intervene? Or is it just dependent on family?

 

00;30;40;11 – 00;30;58;17

Allison

Yeah. So it’s dependent on family. You know, I think it’s kind of similar to how people would handle, working with a sleep consultant or something like that. So, you know, most of my clients will contact me when they’ve experienced some sort of difficulty with potty training. Or perhaps they have, you know, a special needs type situation or something like that.

 

00;30;58;17 – 00;31;20;26

Allison

But a lot of parents will also contact me before they even start to ensure that they have a solid plan in place that’s going to work for their family and to know that they have, that they have me there for support if something happens to not go the way it should, and they can, you know, get back on track right away without having to stop and restart some some months later or something like that.

 

00;31;20;28 – 00;31;38;07

Dr. Mona

And tell me more about your services. You know, obviously I’m going to be attaching your Instagram page to my show notes, but for everyone listening, if they want to contact you, where are you practicing? Is it open to, everywhere in the country? And what are some, more information about your services?

 

00;31;38;10 – 00;32;08;27

Allison

Yeah, sure. So, Yes, actually, we, me and my team, I have a team of, seven consultants now, and we service the whole world. Proud to say, we have even two consultants overseas, one in Germany and one in Japan. And, we are offering one on one consultation services via phone, email or we have fully customized consultation packages as well, which come with like unlimited support options so that you have us by your side for as long as you need help.

 

00;32;09;18 – 00;32;29;06

Allison

You can reach out to us, through the website, you know, whether you have problems or whether you just want help from the get go or if you have, you know, just a quick question on something, we can we can assist. I also have some online courses for people that, just need more general help that don’t necessarily need that personalized touch.

 

00;32;29;18 – 00;32;44;22

Allison

You can find those on my website as well. And, I have a lot of free resources on my Instagram page so you can check those out. And I also have, a free tip sheet there at the link in my bio that anyone can go grab if, if they’re interested.

 

00;32;44;24 – 00;33;03;07

Dr. Mona

Yeah. And such a great source of information. I mean, your Instagram has just great, great basic tips. So whatever anyone is looking for, whether it’s something just, oh, I need to help with one thing or, you know, more detailed plans, your website and your Instagram covers it all. What would be your final message for everyone listening?

 

00;33;03;09 – 00;33;32;29

Allison

My final message to parents is to, you have to prepare yourself for potty training, too, because you have to recognize that it’s not just a change for your child. It’s kind of a change for the whole family. And you definitely shouldn’t feel bad or guilty if you feel like something’s not working or something’s not clicking with your child, there’s always support out there if you need it and you know the age or time it takes for your child to potty train is never a reflection on your parenting because every child is different.

 

00;33;32;29 – 00;33;45;20

Allison

So just keep that in mind. Mentally prepare yourself for the process and the changes before you get started. And, you know, have that support system around you and it can really take you, take you a long way.

 

00;33;45;22 – 00;34;10;02

Dr. Mona

I agree with that completely. And what you said about the fact that it’s not it’s not a reflection of your parenting. I’ve had so many parents come in and they have a pressure of their child starting, you know, pre-K like, or basically they’re going into the, the school as a three year old and the school is requiring them to be potty trained, and the parents are trying and it’s not working for that child, and they’re so stressed.

 

00;34;10;04 – 00;34;28;10

Dr. Mona

And then finally they do get it. But it’s the sort of pressure that they sometimes feel from the schools or from someone saying that, well, why isn’t your child potty trained? And sometimes you either just need to find the right way to do it. Sometimes you just need to have the motivation and the support to do it. But it’s not your fault if it’s later.

 

00;34;28;10 – 00;34;46;16

Dr. Mona

It’s not your fault if you didn’t know when and how to do it. This is why these resources are available. So Allison, I am just so grateful for you for coming on this episode today so that we can talk all about this, because I think it’s going to be super helpful. And like I said, everyone I’ll be attaching, her information on my show notes.

 

00;34;46;22 – 00;34;48;27

Dr. Mona

Thanks again, Allison, for joining us today.

 

00;34;48;29 – 00;34;51;02

Allison

Yeah, thanks so much for having me on. It was great time.

 

00;34;51;10 – 00;35;10;03

Dr. Mona

Thank you for tuning in for this week’s episode. I hope you guys enjoyed it. As always, please leave a review, share it with a friend, comment on my social media and if you’re not already, follow me at PedsDocTalk on Instagram. I love doing this for all of you. Have a great rest of your week. Take care.

 

00;35;10;05 – 00;35;10;29

Dr. Mona

Talk to you soon!