Talking to kids about the news requires honesty while maintaining a sense of security. Open conversations help build trust, allowing kids to ask questions and process difficult topics in a supportive environment.

This week, I welcome Rebecca Jarvis, contributing anchor at Good Morning America, to discuss how parents can provide age-appropriate explanations for real-world concerns while ensuring their kids feel safe.

She joins me to discuss:

• The importance of honesty, security, and age-appropriate conversations about the news.
• How she navigates being present with her kids while managing a demanding career.
• How small positive actions can help us find purpose in uncertain times.

To connect with Rebecca Jarvis follow her on Instagram @rebeccajarvis and watch her on Good Morning America on ABC.

 

Our podcasts are also now on YouTube. If you prefer a video podcast with closed captioning, check us out there and subscribe to PedsDocTalk.

 

We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on the PedsDocTalk Podcast Sponsorships page of the website.

00;00;00;03 – 00;00;21;10
Rebecca Jarvis
If your child sees something bad, you want to tell them it’s not going to happen, that everything is safe, like you are safe and you’re never going to have to worry about that. But you know, as a as a grown up that actually those things, well, there’s a very, very small chance that it could happen. There’s still that possibility.

00;00;21;10 – 00;00;40;20
Rebecca Jarvis
I mean, I think that it’s scary as a, as a grown up, you want your child to feel safe, but you also don’t. You need them to trust you. You are at least I want my children to trust me. I want them to know they can come to me with anything I want to know. I want them to know that I’m always going to be honest with them.

00;00;40;27 – 00;00;42;26
Rebecca Jarvis
On an age appropriate level.

00;00;42;28 – 00;01;02;26
Dr. Mona
It’s me, Doctor Mona, your pediatrician mom friend here for another incredible conversation on the PedsDocTalk podcast. Let’s be honest, the world has felt heavy lately. I felt it, you felt it. And if you haven’t, well, you might be living under a rock. But honestly, that might not be the worst place to be right now. Like, do you have space for me under that rock?

00;01;02;29 – 00;01;22;11
Dr. Mona
During January, I found myself deeply affected by the news cycle between the California wildfires and the political climate. I was doomscrolling late at night, unable to sleep, anxious and constantly worried. I was stuck in that struggle of trying to stay informed while also not losing my mind. Before I knew it, all of that heaviness spilled over into my daily life.

00;01;22;11 – 00;01;42;29
Dr. Mona
And maybe you’ve been there too. I was irritable, sad, overwhelmed, and honestly not the parent I wanted to be. I had to take a step back, limit my own news exposure, and refocus on the things I could actually control. And that’s exactly what we’re unpacking today. How to approach media use at different ages so that kids get the right amount of information without unnecessary fear.

00;01;43;02 – 00;02;04;14
Dr. Mona
How to have tough conversations about world events in a way that informs, reassures, and empowers them. And just as importantly, how we as parents can regulate our own emotions so we don’t pass on our own anxieties to our kids, especially when we hear a lot of awful things on the news. Joining me today is Rebecca Jarvis, chief business, technology and economics correspondent for ABC news and a fellow mother.

00;02;04;16 – 00;02;23;11
Dr. Mona
She’s going to help us dive deeper into these strategies, sharing how she approaches tough news topics with her own kids while working in the news, while staying informed without being overwhelmed. Before we dive in, I just want to say, if you’re loving the show, it would mean so much if you could leave a review and share this episode on your social media with other people.

00;02;23;17 – 00;02;50;23
Dr. Mona
Your support not only helps the podcast grow, but also helps more families feel informed and empowered in their parenting journey. So thank you in advance for being a part of this growing community. Stick around after my conversation with Rebecca because I’ll be sharing practical tips on how to expose kids to media in age appropriate ways. I’ll cover how much they should see at each age, how to talk about tough topics without creating fear, and just as importantly, how we as parents can regulate our own emotions when the news feels overwhelming.

00;02;50;23 – 00;03;11;14
Dr. Mona
You won’t want to miss these actionable takeaways. As I summarize the episode, by the end of the episode, my hope is that you’ll walk away feeling empowered, knowing how to protect your child’s emotional well-being, foster open conversations, and create a home environment that feels safe no matter what’s happening in the world. Let’s get to it. Thank you so much for joining me, Rebecca.

00;03;11;16 – 00;03;21;04
Rebecca Jarvis
Thank you so much, doctor. Mona, we loved having you on GMA at the end of last year, and I hope we’ll be doing that again very soon. And I’m thrilled to be here with you on your podcast.

00;03;21;11 – 00;03;39;22
Dr. Mona
Well, that made me so happy to hear AI that that experience gave me life. I had never done live media before. And you all are inspirations. You know, I watch you doing that every day and doing it for just three minutes. And the amount of work that goes into just a three minute live segment, I mean, people don’t realize how much work goes behind news.

00;03;39;24 – 00;03;59;08
Dr. Mona
But kudos to you for all the work you’ve done. Obviously not only with your professional work and all the correspondence that you do, but also being a mother as well, navigating this busy mom life, career, life. So I love getting to connect with women like this, that, you know, share that sort of love for parenting, but also just, you know, being a badass and what you do on that.

00;03;59;09 – 00;04;11;24
Rebecca Jarvis
And our kids are really similar in age. So, yeah, like in these sort of early years, my son is 14 months old, and my daughter is almost six. So we’re very similar in terms of the parenting scheme right now.

00;04;11;25 – 00;04;30;15
Dr. Mona
Yes. And I know we briefly connected with that when I was on Good Morning America. But like I said, I hope I can come back soon. I definitely want to connect with you more. From the parenting lens, obviously being a professional as well. And so I’m really glad that you’re joining me today. Because we’re going to be talking about being a professional in the media with the work that you do.

00;04;30;17 – 00;04;47;24
Dr. Mona
Parents often, you know, approached me with, like, how do I make sense of all the scary news out there? How much can I show my child how to handle fear that parents may have around, you know, the things that they’re seeing and talking to their children about the media. What is the most important takeaway for our listeners to leave with by the end of this episode?

00;04;47;24 – 00;04;48;27
Dr. Mona
Before we get into it?

00;04;48;29 – 00;05;10;01
Rebecca Jarvis
Sure. I mean, again, we have kind of young kids, so my children are not consuming huge amounts of even the work that I’m doing right now. Yeah. One of the biggest things I have focused on is being present in the moment that I am inside of, and I cover the news I work, we’re talking about the LA wildfires.

00;05;10;01 – 00;05;41;07
Rebecca Jarvis
I’m talking to you from New York City. I have friends and, family members and people who are dealing with something that I can’t even fully wrap my head around right now. But I really try hard to be present with my children when I’m with them. And I also try, the other big takeaway that I hope people can find in all of this, in, in whatever story it is, is the power that we have to make the world a better place.

00;05;41;07 – 00;06;01;00
Rebecca Jarvis
And I always find when I’m in a situation where I feel like it’s completely out of control, it gives me a sense of both purpose and a small sense of control to put something good out into the universe. And, well, you’re the expert, and there are so many great experts out there who have the best advice on this.

00;06;01;00 – 00;06;17;14
Rebecca Jarvis
What I have found for myself personally and even my children in smaller examples, that when we can find ways to take small steps or big steps to improve things, it makes us feel like things around us are less out of control.

00;06;17;17 – 00;06;34;28
Dr. Mona
I love that, and you know, you talk about experts. You know, I understand that. I do, you know, know my my specialty. But I always like to remind parents that whenever it comes to these difficult conversations. Right. And you’re talking about the LA fires. I have felt like the last two weeks, you know, recording this in, like, the what, the 15th or 13th of January.

00;06;35;05 – 00;06;53;13
Dr. Mona
It has been very heavy news cycle. Right. There’s been some, you know, New Orleans with the with the the attack in New Orleans and then the fires and then, you know, the change of political administrations. That’s been very stressful for a lot of people. And there’s a lot going on. Right. Like there’s just a lot of change. And sometimes parents are always wanting to know to say the right thing.

00;06;53;13 – 00;07;09;19
Dr. Mona
Right. Like, I want to say the right script to my child. Like, what do I say? And I say sometimes there’s not going to be a right script. Sometimes you’re just going to have to figure out what feels right in that moment. And that’s the beauty about parenting, right? Like, I know all the things that I would want to say to my children as they get older or as a five year old.

00;07;09;23 – 00;07;25;12
Dr. Mona
But sometimes you just got to know. You got to know. And pivot and say, I don’t know what to tell you. And that is okay to tell your kid that I don’t know the answer to that. And having that humility, having that understanding to me, is what I hope parents understand too, by the end of this, is that you may not have all the right answers.

00;07;25;12 – 00;07;33;12
Dr. Mona
You may not be the strong one all the time. And that is okay to say that, to feel that way, that you don’t always have it together as a parent.

00;07;33;14 – 00;07;55;12
Rebecca Jarvis
Yeah. And I also with my daughter now, who’s almost six, we’ll have conversations about things where I’ll say, I, I sort of draw on when I was her age and I try to I tell her I felt certain ways when I was her age, and I try to remind her that sometimes that those feelings don’t last forever.

00;07;55;12 – 00;08;22;04
Rebecca Jarvis
Sometimes you sort of evolve out of them, sometimes you you are afraid as a grown up. And so I try to find that balance with her, because I always want her to feel security and safety, but I also want her to know I’ve been there before, because I remember when my mom would talk to me like that, and it helped me a lot when I was a little kid to sort of know, that she was both strong, but also had felt the things that I was feeling.

00;08;22;06 – 00;08;47;14
Dr. Mona
Now let’s take a break to hear from our sponsors. I love that and the collaborative approach to parenting. Right? I like the fact that you are listening. You are asking the questions, and then also taking into your own childhood experiences and how your parents approached, you know, I’ll be transparent, like, I, I love that you are also not exposing your children to a lot of the news and being in this field, obviously, that can feel like, well, yeah, but that makes complete sense from a developmental perspective.

00;08;47;17 – 00;09;02;02
Dr. Mona
Same thing with Ryan. We don’t my son’s five and we we weren’t we don’t allow him to watch news, and we don’t watch a lot of news with our children in the house as it is because they’re so young. But because of the lack, it has impacted us personally because I have a lot of close contacts there.

00;09;02;07 – 00;09;18;19
Dr. Mona
So we draw on the news for the LA fires, and he saw all the fires, and he had so many questions and you know, he’s five usually those images like, you know, obviously very graphic images. You don’t want to be showing your kids. But we wanted him to kind of see, you know, and talk about it. And we went into that sort of helping mentality.

00;09;18;19 – 00;09;36;10
Dr. Mona
You know what can we do to help from all the way over here and hearing what a five year old can say about helping? He’s like, they can come here and they’re like, oh, they can come. Well, maybe we can send them my toys, you know, like different compassionate things like, you know, we talk about Mister Rogers, like looking for the helpers, like, you know, making sure that they’re not seeing graphic images.

00;09;36;10 – 00;09;56;06
Dr. Mona
But if you are watching news by and they are younger, having the conversation like, hey, this is sad. It’s okay to feel sad about these people losing their homes, and be grateful for the firefighters, but limiting it if we can. But opening the conversation, like you said, and I remember when I was a child, my parents would watch the news, but there was never discussion about what was happening on the news.

00;09;56;13 – 00;10;13;21
Dr. Mona
And I internalized a lot of those fears. I have vivid memories of me being scared of a lot of the stories that I saw in the news, because I never had a caregiver who talked about it with me and said, Mona, I will keep you safe. Like, this is like and there were some robberies going around, and I was so scared that our house would get robbed and I would have nightmares.

00;10;13;21 – 00;10;14;12
Dr. Mona
And I’m like.

00;10;14;15 – 00;10;16;04
Rebecca Jarvis
Oh, that. Yeah, yeah.

00;10;16;07 – 00;10;31;22
Dr. Mona
And I was like, all I needed was a parent who told me, you know, here’s why we’re going to be safe, here’s what we’re going to do to stay safe. And that is such a small lift for a parent to do. If they’re going to show you stuff on the media. Let’s talk about it, you know? Yeah. Well, parents have a hard time.

00;10;31;24 – 00;10;44;12
Dr. Mona
I don’t know if you see this or and you’re like, I have a hard time talking about these difficult conversations. Maybe if it’s something they see on the news or social media, for an older child or a younger child, why they may be more hesitant to do that. Well.

00;10;44;15 – 00;11;10;17
Rebecca Jarvis
I I’ll, I’ll speak to what I feel sometimes. That is when you see something really bad, if your child sees something bad, you want to tell them it’s not going to happen, that everything is safe, like you are safe and you’re never going to have to worry about that. But, you know, as a as a grown up that actually those things, well, there’s a very, very small chance that it could happen.

00;11;10;20 – 00;11;36;19
Rebecca Jarvis
There’s still that possibility. I mean, two weeks ago, no one would have thought that the situation that’s unfolding in Los Angeles would be unfolding, or at least a lot of people wouldn’t have thought that. I shouldn’t say no one. I’m sure there’s people out there who are forecasting these these outcomes, but I think that it’s scary as a as a grown up, you want your child to feel safe, but you also don’t.

00;11;36;25 – 00;11;57;16
Rebecca Jarvis
You need them to trust you. You, or at least I want my children to trust me. I want them to know they can come to me with anything I want to know. I want them to know that I’m always going to be honest with them on an appropriate level. And so it’s it’s challenging because on the one hand, you want to be able to say, this will never happen.

00;11;57;16 – 00;12;17;18
Rebecca Jarvis
It’s always going to be okay. Or, you I think that’s the biggest challenge when I think about it. At the same time, I’ve sort of found in those kinds of conversation happens where it’s a really scary outcome if it comes up, and it usually would come up for my daughter asking me a question, could this ever happen?

00;12;17;23 – 00;12;42;07
Rebecca Jarvis
Could this ever happen? Well, there’s a possibility it could happen. It’s highly unlikely. If it were to happen, mommy and daddy would do X, Y, and Z. And remember, this is what we did in this circumstance or this is what we did, on this occasion. So I try to always remind my daughter of the, the, the things that we’ve done in the past.

00;12;42;09 – 00;13;03;02
Rebecca Jarvis
We’ve never, thank God, had a situation that’s been really terrifying. But I always try to remind her of the things that we’ve done in the past to, you know, make everything safe. I mean, there’s it’s like she’ll ask about monsters in her bedroom at night, right? Yes. Well, I’ve monster proofed the entire apartment, you know, and,

00;13;03;05 – 00;13;40;04
Rebecca Jarvis
Well. But what about outside of the apartment? So these conversations, they can go on for a long period of time. But I think at the at the heart of it, what makes it complicated as a parent is you want your child to always feel safe and secure. I want my children to feel safe and secure, but I also don’t want to say something to them where they go to school and somebody challenges the thing that I’ve now told them, and says, but wait, you know, for example, we’ve we haven’t really talked about September 11th in our house, and yet we don’t live that far from the September 11th site.

00;13;40;04 – 00;13;57;25
Rebecca Jarvis
And I know it’s come up in some of the classrooms of people, my daughter’s age. So, it’s just things like that. You want I want to be honest with my kids so they know they can trust me in any circumstance. And at the same time, I also want them to feel secure.

00;13;57;27 – 00;14;16;27
Dr. Mona
I love that, and, you know, we’re speaking about parenting our younger children and, you know, talking about media exposure. Is there an age in your opinion and all? You know, I’ll talk about it as well for my my experience and my feeling, too, that you feel like exposing them to media would make more sense. Like, do you feel like there’s an age appropriate level that you’re like, okay, now my child can watch the news with me?

00;14;16;27 – 00;14;19;24
Dr. Mona
Or do you feel like you’ll ever have your child watch the news?

00;14;19;26 – 00;14;26;12
Rebecca Jarvis
We don’t have a specific on or off idea we don’t have. Do you have one? Do you have an actual age?

00;14;26;12 – 00;14;40;26
Dr. Mona
To me and I, it’s a trick question. So you caught me red handed. It’s more about seeing how my child is and seeing how the child is and what makes sense. Because like I said, what’s going on? Like, we never really watch the news with our child. But the L.A. fire was a big thing for us. And so we turned it on.

00;14;40;26 – 00;14;55;11
Dr. Mona
We didn’t even think twice. My husband’s like, hey, can you turn on the news? And I just double checked. I’m like, are you sure we’re okay watching it with Ryan in the room? My daughter’s a little young to understand. And both of them, just even my 18 month old just sat there watching, talking, hearing how me and my husband, we’re talking about it.

00;14;55;17 – 00;15;15;22
Dr. Mona
We made sure to control our anxiety and controlled our fears in front of our children, which I think is huge. But, but yeah, there was there’s no on and off switch, like you said. But I do know that the younger child under seven, eight years old, you know, just exposing them to it, exposing that to that when they’re not able to have the emotional capacity to process information can be harder.

00;15;15;22 – 00;15;22;21
Dr. Mona
So it is sort of a situation by situation basis assessing the event, but also the child.

00;15;22;24 – 00;15;50;23
Rebecca Jarvis
Absolutely. And I think also there’s a it’s kind of like how much do you personally control of what they’re hearing. For example, it’s you might not turn the news on for your child to hear through news. Yes, what is happening in the world. But you might have a conversation over dinner because you know that that’s coming up in school, or some older sibling mentioned it on the school bus.

00;15;50;25 – 00;16;11;25
Rebecca Jarvis
So we do have those conversations in our house ad hoc when it comes up. And I remember also back to my own childhood, my parents at the dinner table. I mean, we we have dinner every night that we can as a family together. And when I grew up, my parents both worked, my mom worked, my dad worked all throughout our childhood, and they both worked long hours.

00;16;11;25 – 00;16;30;24
Rebecca Jarvis
And sometimes that meant we literally had dinner. You know, we were a little catch like 730, 8:00 at night. But it was really important to them that we would do that together. And we try. My husband and I try really hard to do that. And I do feel like that is a place where we can talk about anything that’s on at this point, on my daughter’s mind.

00;16;30;24 – 00;16;33;24
Rebecca Jarvis
Eventually, hopefully, it will be my son’s mind as well.

00;16;33;27 – 00;16;52;24
Dr. Mona
And as a parent yourself, you already talked about, you know, some like some the way you approach these situations. But, when something is really hard or sad for you, like, yes, you, you obviously are in an industry where there is a lot of stuff that you’re covering. Heavy, heavy, like, I mean, for me, I can turn off social media.

00;16;52;24 – 00;17;13;23
Dr. Mona
I can turn off mainstream media and just kind of quiet my mind from the noise. But when you’re reporting on it or having to research on it and hear about it, how do you, as a parent navigate that and show up for your children? You know, in a better, you know, a calm, peaceful place? What do you do personally to show up and not let that consume you?

00;17;13;25 – 00;17;42;05
Rebecca Jarvis
So one of the things that I am much more conscious about now than I was, I think even when my after my daughter was born, I think I still had my phone around to some extent. And now, because my daughter’s older, I, I have my phone around less. I really being present for me is one of the biggest things that allows me to be less anxious in its own way.

00;17;42;05 – 00;18;05;04
Rebecca Jarvis
Like when I am with the kids, I try to be so, so with them. I’m not, you know, I sometimes I delete my Instagram, I’ll delete my ex, just even for a weekend just so that I am fully, fully there with them. I find that’s very helpful, but it’s not perfect. There’s no silver bullet here. That is the solution.

00;18;05;05 – 00;18;37;14
Rebecca Jarvis
It’s still it’s still can happen, in life. And I also just give myself, like you said earlier in this conversation, you talked about how you might have imperfect conversations with your kids. And I give myself that. It’s kind of like it’s not the one time thing. It is the bigger picture. At the same time, if I feel like the bigger picture is becoming a consistent trend of anxiety and, trouble, then there’s got to be like some bigger course correction there, if that makes sense.

00;18;37;16 – 00;18;54;23
Dr. Mona
Yeah, absolutely. And you know, do you ever feel this again? This is just a personal sort of question but with the sad news stories. Right. Obviously we know that there’s a lot of good things happening within sadness, like I’m using the example of the LA fires, like it’s been so hard to see, but then I see all the people banding together and doing all that good things.

00;18;54;23 – 00;19;18;16
Dr. Mona
Right. But in what feels like for so many of my listeners and I, we we talked about since January, especially if it’s been feeling like that for me, when there’s sad news story after sad news story, how can you help? How do you feel you can help your children or parents can help children process the world around them without themselves feeling overwhelmed or hopeless, like that hopeless feeling of, well, everything’s just falling apart, you know?

00;19;18;16 – 00;19;30;10
Dr. Mona
Like what? What’s the point of doing anything when you know, fires are everywhere and people are yelling at each other and all this, like, how do we continue to do what we need to do with, but with, you know, the feelings of hopelessness that can creep in?

00;19;30;12 – 00;19;53;07
Rebecca Jarvis
I think it starts with what’s happening right in front of you. For us, we have, for example, there is, public garden near us, and, it’s, we we discovered it actually, because my dad happened to be walking by this garden, and he saw there were a group of people who were attending to it, and he asked them, what are you doing?

00;19;53;07 – 00;20;13;08
Rebecca Jarvis
And it turned out that it’s just some citizens, concerned citizens who wanted to help plant in this garden and make it nicer, than it would have been had it just been sort of left up to the city. And so gardens started. My dad started gardening there. He told me about it. Now we’re bringing our kids to it.

00;20;13;08 – 00;20;34;25
Rebecca Jarvis
That’s, sort of short way of saying I think there were opportunities right in front of us, no matter where we are. This certainly was the case. I grew up in Northeast Minneapolis. We used to clean the boulevards, on the weekends, and we would have, potlucks for the entire neighborhood. Everybody would bring something. We’d do some cleaning up.

00;20;34;25 – 00;21;13;10
Rebecca Jarvis
We’d have some conversations that were when I would go home for the night, that kind of thing. We try. I’m trying very, very hard to help create something along those lines for my kids in New York and to show them that they do have the power in small ways. But planting a tulip or. Yeah, garlic. My my daughter having to plant garlic in this garden as well as tulips, knowing that she, at five years old, can dig a hole and put a bulb in the ground, and that in the springtime we will visit and there will be a flower there.

00;21;13;13 – 00;21;43;06
Rebecca Jarvis
I actually personally believe that is very powerful. And, I, I just genuinely at the core of what I, who I am, it’s literally my wiring that if something awful is happening, then find a way to do something good. Obviously the best case scenario is that you can directly change that really bad thing, but there’s so many things that need our attention.

00;21;43;06 – 00;22;02;03
Rebecca Jarvis
And if you have the body and the time and the wherewithal and the resources to do it, just go do it. And I think sometimes we get lost in the like, well, what’s the perfect thing that I could be doing in this? Yeah. When in actuality there’s so many things around us that we can be doing to make things a little bit better.

00;22;02;08 – 00;22;28;27
Rebecca Jarvis
And if we just keep doing every day something to make things a little bit better, if everyone had that mentality, then I think things would be considerably better. I mean, I love math, I grew up, I really liked math growing up, and I always sort of think about it as a mathematical equation. If there’s like a ton of negatives in the world, but you just start putting out positive after positive after positive, that equation can be a positive in the air right now.

00;22;28;27 – 00;22;54;13
Dr. Mona
Let’s take a break to hear from our sponsors. Right. And I think that’s so hard to to realize when you’re in the midst of something so tragic or so sad. And obviously that’s not diminishing that experience at all. Right? This is a duality situation, right? It’s accepting the reality of a really difficult situation. And now choosing how do I want to navigate through this difficult situation, going through the grieving process, if it’s something that’s personally affecting you.

00;22;54;19 – 00;23;21;27
Dr. Mona
And interestingly, the L.A. fire, like, I want to be clear, like I went through my own grieving process even though I wasn’t even directly involved because I am a very empathetic person, and I just felt so deeply and so strongly. And I know people are like, well, you weren’t even involved. I’m like, it’s just me. Like, this is why I can’t do certain specialties in medicine, because I get so sad for people and I’m yeah, I’m like, my empathy goes like, I have to control and watch my empathy from getting too far into it where I can’t function.

00;23;22;03 – 00;23;23;02
Dr. Mona
And it won’t do that.

00;23;23;04 – 00;23;24;17
Rebecca Jarvis
How do you do that with your kids?

00;23;24;17 – 00;23;45;06
Dr. Mona
So one of the biggest things I’m gonna talk about, because my husband’s not like me, my husband’s an ER doctor, and he can see the most tragic things he has learned in a negative way to compartmentalize. So he basically can see people in the most tragic accidents come home and be like, hey, what’s up? Love you. And I’m like, you just had to code a 39 year old guy.

00;23;45;06 – 00;24;03;16
Dr. Mona
Like, how are you doing and how are you functioning right now? He’s like, it’s what it is. But that it’s what it is is a coping mechanism that he has had to learn. One thing that we both have discussed is that’s not healthy. The compartmentalize, what’s not healthy, which is I’m the extreme opposite, is taking on everyone’s pain and letting it become my pain.

00;24;03;16 – 00;24;22;09
Dr. Mona
So what we have sort of realized is boundaries for us and communicate communication. So the boundaries are more for me, so that I’m not becoming so involved in other people’s sadness that I become sad and I can’t do what I need to do to be a functioning human being. I’m talking like I went into a depression, like a depressive state with the LA fires.

00;24;22;09 – 00;24;40;13
Dr. Mona
It’s just not healthy because I still have children to raise. I still have my my job. And what is the use of me being sad here? Doing for the people in LA? So I turn that what I get, I feel the feeling and I, I train my brain enough to know, okay, I’m feeling really sad right now. I’m going to give myself a day to really feel sad.

00;24;40;13 – 00;25;00;19
Dr. Mona
But what am I going to do with the sadness now? What am I going to do? So for me, it was creating a fundraising list for anyone in my community that may have been impacted by the LA fire. And so for me, what that helped me do is take my sadness turning it into something actionable. And that being said, people may hear that and sometimes that’s not good enough on social media, right?

00;25;00;19 – 00;25;17;08
Dr. Mona
Oh well, you should do this. And I want to be clear, for anyone who is using their sadness or their grief to change the world, you have to do it what’s best for you, right? It’s not. You don’t have to. If you don’t have the money to donate, don’t feel like you have to donate. Or if you if you don’t, if if advocacy is not your cup of tea, don’t advocate.

00;25;17;08 – 00;25;42;18
Dr. Mona
Fine. If you can’t volunteer because you don’t have time, don’t. But figure out what is going to be a way that you can help the world in a sad situation. So mine is using my platform to spread positivity, right? Let’s talk about good things that are happening. Let’s celebrate the firefighters. Let’s just like happy stories from this experience that has been happening so that people know that even amidst the sadness, there is really goodness that can come from a horrible situation.

00;25;42;21 – 00;26;02;28
Dr. Mona
And then my husband’s side, it’s being more communicative to me about when he’s feeling upset, right? He didn’t see that for a long time. And now when he comes home and he had to code as someone who’s his age, I say, hey, how are you feeling? You know, how are you doing? And my husband is almost like very similar to your job in that he’s he sees and hears a lot of negative things in the world.

00;26;03;05 – 00;26;22;05
Dr. Mona
His world can seem to be very negative. And then if you think about, like, all the things that come through an E.R., but he has learned to program his brain to say, what? What am I doing here? We are helping people that what what can I tell my son in terms of what doctors do and what firefighters do and what nurses do, and all the people that are doing good in this world to help, right.

00;26;22;06 – 00;26;47;15
Dr. Mona
Going back to what I said earlier about Mister Rogers saying always looking for the helpers is something that will always stick to me because it’s not only just for the kids, it’s for us too. When we’re feeling sad, you got to look at the people who are spreading positivity. And for me, it was shutting down my social because I was getting into comments sections of people spreading conspiracy theories or people like, about deflecting the sadness people were feeling about losing their homes and talking about other stories.

00;26;47;15 – 00;27;06;00
Dr. Mona
I’m like, wait, let these people grieve. Like let these people have their moment. So it became this sort of understanding the boundaries that are needed, but also being communicative about the feelings and then with the children. Because my son, my son is also a very empathetic person. I can see that if I’m feeling off, he he shows it, he will be there.

00;27;06;03 – 00;27;27;23
Dr. Mona
You just behavior. He will get more needy because he sees me become less available. So it was me saying to my husband, it’s me. I need to take a moment and just really just take this time. Talk to myself therapist if you have one. And just take that moment and say, okay, what am I going to do to reset myself here and now be a more present child, parent for my child, which is what you just said.

00;27;27;28 – 00;27;51;05
Dr. Mona
The weekend was off. I spent time with them. Talk to my son. He asked me about the fires. Very age appropriate language. What are you feeling when you see that? Oh, mommy, that’s really sad. Yeah, it is sad, you know, and I think having those age appropriate discussions, listening, being honest, but filtering the details that don’t need to be there, like, you don’t need to say that this person died in their house in the fire.

00;27;51;06 – 00;28;10;19
Dr. Mona
Like what? What does a five year old need to know about that? Like they don’t. Right. And then providing that reassurance, emotional safety, all of that and focusing on the people that are doing good, all of that combined has really helped so that we’re not letting it consume us and go down that path of I can’t function, which was happening for me to be quite transparent.

00;28;10;19 – 00;28;26;12
Dr. Mona
And I it takes some self insight also to be like, where is this? Where is this feeling coming from, where you know that you can get really burnt out by seeing people’s pain. So what are you going to do to control that? Are you going to keep watching it where you know, people are in pain, or are you going to shut it off?

00;28;26;19 – 00;28;49;17
Dr. Mona
And now just kind of tell yourself, I know people are in pain. What can I do to help people in pain? And if that’s something that’s important to you, or maybe it’s using a platform to really just spread education about air quality and, you know, whatever it is that people are needing in that time, how can I use my my expertise as an educator to really help versus just living in it and being like, oh my God, how sad, how sad, how sad.

00;28;49;17 – 00;28;54;08
Dr. Mona
Because it is sad. But me being sad is not helping anyone over there. Well, I.

00;28;54;08 – 00;29;22;04
Rebecca Jarvis
Also, you know, part of my job and this also came up in a group in a significant way during the pandemic when people were losing their jobs and businesses were going out of business because of the shutdowns. And I have always also tried to use my work, and we certainly do this at Good Morning America, to a great extent, to highlight the good things that are being done to highlight the resources that exist for people.

00;29;22;04 – 00;29;46;16
Rebecca Jarvis
So in in this most recent, with the wildfires, I’ve, I’ve used my Instagram to share all of the like you, charities that are doing excellent work, businesses that are doing things, resources for people who both want to give and people who have faced losses helping people. I know one of the big things will be going forward helping people navigate the insurance.

00;29;46;19 – 00;30;05;07
Rebecca Jarvis
And how to file for insurance and get the most so that if you want to rebuild, you’re in a position to do that. And that was certainly something that also came up with the pandemic and making sure we were shining a light on small businesses and what people could do for I remember there was, you know, all of these shops were closing.

00;30;05;07 – 00;30;28;09
Rebecca Jarvis
And I was reminding people, if you want that coffee shop on the corner near you to reopen when things reopen, go in. If you’re in a position to either buy a cup of coffee there or buy a gift card there, like buy do your holiday shopping in these places. Because if that’s what you want on the corner in the future, then you have to give it your attention today.

00;30;28;10 – 00;30;48;09
Rebecca Jarvis
Tend to it today. And so, I’m also a very sort of both for my job, but also as a person try to be solution oriented. And therefore I’m, I, I do my very best to try to share those resources with people, both through Good Morning America and World News Tonight, and also through my social channels.

00;30;48;12 – 00;30;58;16
Dr. Mona
I love that, and I applaud you for doing that because again, it is such a it is it is so hard to hear all of the the bad and the sad and news.

00;30;58;18 – 00;31;32;08
Rebecca Jarvis
I like to click by the way. But yeah, I’m not I’m not in any way suggesting, that that the world should be sugar coated or. Oh, of course not. I’m not suggesting that we look away from it because it’s all too much to bear. I’m saying, that I think with that it is always very important to me as well as to the producers and the people that I work with, that we also give people the resources to make the best choices possible in situations that are as as you know, sometimes as tragic as the ones that we’re seeing in LA.

00;31;32;11 – 00;31;50;17
Dr. Mona
And I think it’s such a valuable point to add that including, you know, media, social media, you’re going to get information as parents or as a person from everywhere. And so it also comes down to knowing what kind of person you are. Like my husband, he finds solace in watching the news. I don’t because it makes me more sad.

00;31;50;17 – 00;32;06;29
Dr. Mona
And so knowing what kind of consumer you are is being a responsible consumer so that you’re not living on, I don’t. I also agree that I believe it’s important to know what’s going on in a healthy way around the world. Just to know. Right? I mean, some people don’t know anything and that’s fine. But for me it is valuable in some degree.

00;32;07;01 – 00;32;21;03
Dr. Mona
But there is a limitation for me to know, well, how much am I going to flood my brain with those images? Right. Like, what value is that doing? Whereas my husband could be completely different and like that. And I’m like, do you like watching? Like we watched your documentary. We watched a documentary about the fires last night.

00;32;21;03 – 00;32;39;04
Dr. Mona
I forget what channel was on. And he was like, I was like, do you like watching this? And I’m sitting there crying. And I said, look, sweetie, I’m going to go upstairs because this is very heavy for me. And he he wasn’t crying. He was fine. He’s like, no, I understand. And he, you know, being able to have that sort of relationship where he knows that I’m we’re both completely different that I want to know.

00;32;39;04 – 00;32;55;01
Dr. Mona
But it makes me sad. He likes to know because it gives him it gives his anxiety some sort of solace and comfort, which is completely different coping skills. But we know that. And then we can better teach our children that and know what they need as they go up and become, you know, consumers of information as well.

00;32;55;01 – 00;33;22;16
Dr. Mona
And I look at that as like a teaching point, right? Like, how are we going to be healthy consumers of information, so that we can take what we need, know, feel the compassion if we want to feel the compassion, but also say that you know what, people are struggling. How can I do something bigger and better, to help people around the world or around our communities, with what they may be struggling with, and be an advocate and be, you know, a voice of, of change, you know, because I do think that the news and media can help our children do that.

00;33;22;18 – 00;33;35;09
Rebecca Jarvis
Yeah. I also think something that you’ve been talking about and, and I feel very fortunate for this. My husband and I have really good open communication. That doesn’t mean that we don’t argue.

00;33;35;09 – 00;33;37;11
Dr. Mona
We serve the same, same.

00;33;37;13 – 00;34;10;28
Rebecca Jarvis
But we both know that we’re in it. We’re in it together. And so when we have arguments and we we do have our arguments, there’s always this acknowledgment that it’s it’s kind of like it’s not over, you know, that it’s a conversation. And we’re both we’re both in that conversation with the best of intentions for our family and for our children, and therefore, we’ll keep working on it until we get to a place where we both feel really good and solid about the outcome.

00;34;11;00 – 00;34;29;29
Dr. Mona
Yeah, and what a nice segway to like. I feel like sometimes people forget that communicating with children is very similar to communicating with peers. That same concept of like having that open communication that it’s never over, like with children, like, you know, my I heard my son, we watched the news and then we went to go play in the park, and he was telling all the friends about the fires in California.

00;34;29;29 – 00;34;33;15
Dr. Mona
And I was like, oh, God, because I don’t know what the four year olds on the playground.

00;34;33;15 – 00;34;35;04
Rebecca Jarvis
Call you later.

00;34;35;06 – 00;34;51;13
Dr. Mona
But it was, you know, and I, you know, I heard I overheard it and then I, I didn’t run up to him and intervened. I like to just kind of do like a Lord of the flies parenting style in the wild, like, let’s see what they’re talking about. But then I brought it back and I said, hey, I saw you talking to your friends about it, you know, did anyone was anyone interested in what you had to say?

00;34;51;13 – 00;35;11;19
Dr. Mona
And they said he said, no. And I’m like, that’s okay. So sometimes it’s like you’re going to be interested in something and people want to listen to about it, and that’s okay. You can always talk to me about it if you want to talk about it, if you’re feeling anything. So keeping the open line of communication that this isn’t the end, like just because people are not talking about it or just because you’re not talking about it, I’m here.

00;35;11;19 – 00;35;27;10
Dr. Mona
And the reason I like that is that I don’t want this to ever become an anxiety situation for my child, that they saw something like I did when I was a kid. No one ever talked to them about it and they felt they had they were the one who had to, you know, own it and fight, you know, like, have to take care of the house.

00;35;27;10 – 00;35;28;05
Dr. Mona
If there was a fire that.

00;35;28;05 – 00;35;29;05
Rebecca Jarvis
Know, like.

00;35;29;07 – 00;35;45;29
Dr. Mona
We’re in this together, like our family is a family. And we like you said earlier, I think was such a valid point that you have to be honest. But you also, you know that, yes, we may not be able to protect our children from everything, but here’s what we can do and here’s what we’re going to tell you, and here’s what we can, you know, can do in this situation.

00;35;45;29 – 00;36;03;21
Dr. Mona
And here’s what we’re going to control. Because that’s important for our mental health as well as parents navigating the world of what feels like overwhelming. And I think this, I think social media has added to the overwhelm because me and my husband were talking about like, long time ago, you can turn on the news and then turn it off and it was over, right?

00;36;03;27 – 00;36;20;12
Dr. Mona
Like you saw it, and then you turn it off and then you go on in your day. But now if it’s in your pocket all day, every day, you you can always be inundated with the images with the, the, you know, but it’s on you to say what is enough for you as a parent so that you don’t transfer that to your child as well.

00;36;20;13 – 00;36;20;21
Dr. Mona
Yeah.

00;36;20;22 – 00;36;48;15
Rebecca Jarvis
And I think that applies to advice too. Yes. The there’s so many there’s there’s literally something for anybody that exists in the world. And and you do have to find somewhere in your core, you have to sort of, or at least for me, find peace with the choices that you’re making. As you were talking, it made me think of something that I often do with my daughter.

00;36;48;15 – 00;37;07;17
Rebecca Jarvis
And again, I don’t know if this is right, but it does. It works for our family. We. And it’s on a much lesser scale. But when you were talking about your son, whether or not his friends were interested, something I do all the time with my daughter is with Isabel. She’ll say, well, I like the color blue.

00;37;07;17 – 00;37;26;16
Rebecca Jarvis
For example, mommy is blue your favorite color is say like, no, it’s not. I mean, I like the color blue, but it’s not my favorite color. Or mommy, I like pancakes or pancakes. Your favorite food? Yeah, I like them, but they’re not my favorite. My point is, I really want her to know that I love her, that she can love me.

00;37;26;16 – 00;37;52;06
Rebecca Jarvis
We don’t have to like all of the things in order for everything to be simpatico. So, and I don’t, I don’t know what that’s leading to, but it feels, important to me that I let her know that because I, you know, it’s kind of like, I guess as she gets older, if one of her friends, like, you know, the sort of old saying, if your friend jumps off a bridge, you don’t have to do the same thing to.

00;37;52;07 – 00;38;14;13
Rebecca Jarvis
My dad used to say that to me when I was a kid, and it did resonate. I don’t know if parents say that anymore, but I think back then. But I do think it’s sort of like alluding to that same idea of be true to yourself. It’s okay, that you enjoy the color blue and pancakes, and your mom is sort of like, so, so on that.

00;38;14;13 – 00;38;45;23
Dr. Mona
You know what a good example, though, of I love that we can talk about younger parenting because like I said, I do believe that like people forget that it’s is very similar. And, that is setting a healthy foundation for interaction in her future. Right? Like whether she gets into a friendship romantic relationship, she’s going to know that you can have differences with people, whether it’s politically, whether it’s about like where you’re living in the country, whether it’s about foods that you like, like you don’t always have to, like you said, be on the same page about everything.

00;38;45;23 – 00;39;04;24
Dr. Mona
But what we can do as a family and as people in communication is have effective communication skills, right? Like I think so many of we know that so much of these world’s problems can be solved by effective communication, like in all aspects, with parents and children, with marriages, with friendships, talking about how we feel and saying, hey, yeah, I don’t like when.

00;39;04;25 – 00;39;22;17
Dr. Mona
So interesting because you’re right, my son does the same thing and it is the sort of we’re on the same team, but sometimes the same team is not going to like the same stuff, and that is okay. And we can still be part of this amazing family and like, different colors or like different food. And without saying, Will you have to do this because you’re otherwise, I’m not going to be your friend, right?

00;39;22;17 – 00;39;41;02
Dr. Mona
Like, you know, when I’ve seen parents do that, like, well, if you don’t do this or if you don’t do this, I’m like, I’m going to withdraw my love. I’m like, oh, whoa, hey, like, this is not how we’re going to approach that. It’s we are going to have differences. Me and you, me and your dad. We have differences like I love I love letting my son see me and my husband not argue.

00;39;41;02 – 00;40;00;28
Dr. Mona
Meaning like yell. People think arguments, those yelling, but I’m talking just having disagreements and yeah. And seeing him see how we navigate disagreements. Because I grew up in a house where there was never visual representation of my mom and dad disagreeing and how they overcome disagreements, it was always agreement. And that’s not healthy for a child to see only agreements.

00;40;00;28 – 00;40;24;02
Dr. Mona
They need to see how a mom and a dad or two caregivers disagree and how they overcome it, because these are life skills. And talking about this whole conversation, this is all foundational, right? We are setting an open door for talking about difficult news, difficult feelings, difficult things, which could be differences for children too. Like my my friend says that she doesn’t like ponies anymore and I love ponies.

00;40;24;08 – 00;40;25;05
Rebecca Jarvis
Right? Well, right.

00;40;25;11 – 00;40;41;08
Dr. Mona
Well that’s okay. Do you still get along and other things? Yeah, mommy, we still love playing. That’s awesome. Talk about what you love with her. Right? Like that’s literally what this is. Setting up a good foundation for that. We don’t have to always love the same things, right? Yeah. Love this. Rebecca. We could talk about parenting on our own podcast.

00;40;41;08 – 00;41;01;28
Dr. Mona
Let’s do this. Let’s do the podcast. And I love you, by the way, I love her. I love that you said that. You know, you said this a couple times, that you’re not the expert. But I want to reiterate, like I said, at the beginning, that I want all of my listeners to know, and this is my platform, not just from talking to you, that you are experts in, that you may not know the right thing to say, but sometimes not knowing the right thing to say is the best thing to say.

00;41;02;03 – 00;41;30;17
Dr. Mona
And I’m like that too. I love looking at my husband and saying, what do we do now? Like? And even though I know parenting and know all the evidence base, quote unquote, like sometimes there’s no book or or person that’s going to tell you the right thing to do. Sometimes you got to figure it out. And that, to me is the most beautiful thing about parenting, is learning how to navigate those tricky moments and saying, and then and then you see it work and you’re like, oh yeah, yeah, like, know your philosophy, know what you want, the values you want to raise your child with.

00;41;30;17 – 00;41;34;15
Dr. Mona
And then use those words will come. Like, you don’t need to know the right things to say all the time.

00;41;34;15 – 00;42;09;24
Rebecca Jarvis
You know, I think your point about knowing your values and sort of knowing your North Star, that’s also really key in all of this. And that really does that. That’s what sort of grounds me. Like, I, I wish for my children that they will be good human beings, that they can respect other people, that they will show kindness, in the world, that they’ll stand up for themselves, but that they’ll also, you know, show mercy, you know, like I combination of justice, mercy, all of it.

00;42;09;27 – 00;42;40;14
Rebecca Jarvis
So, it’s and it’s a balancing act. That’s the thing. It’s a balancing act. So sometimes I think you kind of said something like this, but it’s like there is no perfect answer. Or at least I sometimes feel like there’s no perfect answer to the question. But we’re all trying to navigate it and being patient. And oftentimes it is the case where I’m exhausted or my husband’s exhausted, but we’re just trying to do our very best in that circumstance.

00;42;40;16 – 00;42;42;12
Dr. Mona
I, I love it, and that is.

00;42;42;14 – 00;42;43;09
Rebecca Jarvis
A new day.

00;42;43;12 – 00;43;01;28
Dr. Mona
Exactly. You always get a new day, a new chance, and there’s always time to repair. There’s some it’s not over like it’s never. And that’s why I think it’s so. That’s why I love talking about parenting. It’s never over. Your parenting this children for the rest of their life in different degrees. Obviously, you know, different interventions as they get older.

00;43;02;00 – 00;43;10;04
Dr. Mona
But that is the beauty about that. And Rebecca, this was just so nice to to chat with you. What would be a final uplifting message for everyone tuning in today?

00;43;10;07 – 00;43;39;15
Rebecca Jarvis
Oh my goodness. I mean, I guess I would say Doctor Mona, I wish everybody, Grace and I hope like just feel the I hope this I hope all of this makes you feel lighter as a parent. That would be my greatest hope for everybody that you recognize that it’s hard. It’s hard for everybody. Yes. And maybe the idea is to look more inward than it is to look outward.

00;43;39;18 – 00;44;00;11
Rebecca Jarvis
I know we just had a conversation. I hope everyone keeps listening to Doctor Mona’s podcast. Yes. Right. But, like, we’re searching for all of these answers out there and, and maybe this sort of quieting down, and just looking inward is the best that we can do for ourselves, especially in a time like this.

00;44;00;13 – 00;44;10;26
Dr. Mona
I agree. And where can everyone go to stay connected? You know, obviously with you and, I, like I said, I hope we can connect more, but, for now, where can people stay connected with you?

00;44;10;29 – 00;44;31;07
Rebecca Jarvis
I’m all over social media at Rebecca Jarvis Jarvis, and I hope you’ll send me messages there. And if you strongly agree or strongly disagree with something I said, let me know. Because maybe the thing that you’re challenging me on will help me learn something new. I, I try to learn from everything, so I really appreciate it.

00;44;31;09 – 00;44;47;09
Dr. Mona
I knew I loved you with that growth mindset mentality. Look at that. This is what what I’m talking about, this is the sign of a healthy parenting aspect is that you have a growth mindset willing to learn. I love that and again, so happy to connect with you for everyone tuning in. If you love this conversation, and please make sure you share it on your socials.

00;44;47;15 – 00;44;55;14
Dr. Mona
Tag me as well as Rebecca, and also leave a review. It really helps the show continue to grow and I cannot wait to chat with another guest next time.

00;44;55;16 – 00;44;57;15
Rebecca Jarvis
Can’t wait to have you back on GMA. Doctor.

00;44;57;18 – 00;45;22;18
Dr. Mona
Yes! Oh yes, it’s happening. I loved being able to talk to Rebecca because she’s a mother in a field that tends to be surrounded by a lot of negative news and negativity. My husband’s an ER doctor and he also sees a lot of negative things and sad things. And so much of our relationship is surrounded by how do we let him heal from the sad stuff that he’s seen, but also not bring it home?

00;45;22;20 – 00;45;38;16
Dr. Mona
Now that we’ve heard from Rebecca, I want to go into more detail about practical strategies for navigating media exposure with our kids and ourselves. Because let’s be real, it’s a lot out there, and the way we handle it really depends on our kids ages and where they are developmentally. For little ones under seven, my best advice is that they don’t need to watch the news at all.

00;45;38;16 – 00;45;55;07
Dr. Mona
And we talked about that. That being said, me and my husband did watch the news when the LA fires were occurring and Ryan was in the room and naturally he had a lot of questions when he asked, why are there fires? We kept it simple. Sometimes fires happen in nature, but there are people working really hard to stop them.

00;45;55;09 – 00;46;10;05
Dr. Mona
When he saw the damage and asked what happens to the people who live there, we said some of them might have to leave their homes for a while, but there are helpers making sure that they have what they need. It also turned into a sweet conversation about how we could help, he said. Maybe they can move in with us, or we can send them some of our toys.

00;46;10;05 – 00;46;33;23
Dr. Mona
Moments like that remind me how naturally empathetic kids are. They just need a little guidance. So if your little one asks tough questions, keep the answers short and reassuring. Focus on the helpers and when possible, let’s make them feel like they can contribute to making things better and try not to expose them to graphic images. Like I mentioned, for kids 7 to 10, at this age, kids are curious and starting to ask more questions about the world around them.

00;46;33;25 – 00;46;56;19
Dr. Mona
You can introduce a little exposure to news, but keep it limited and curated. If they ask about a sad story like why did that happen? You can say sometimes hard things happen in the world, but there are people helping to make it better. If they ask about safety, could that happen to us? Respond? That’s really unlikely. And there are so many people working to keep us safe, and Mommy or Daddy are helping you keep safe.

00;46;56;22 – 00;47;13;28
Dr. Mona
Now, when they hit 11 to 13, it’s more about guided viewing. They may want to watch the news and feel like that’s how they stay informed. So watch or read the news with them and use it as a chance to help them process what they’re seeing and correct any misconceptions. If they express fear or confusion, why do bad things keep happening?

00;47;14;01 – 00;47;35;29
Dr. Mona
Response would be the world can feel that way sometimes, but for every bad thing, there are people working to create change. And we can also work to create change, to make things better if they feel powerless. Because at this age, they can start to feel like they have a responsibility. There’s nothing I can do to help respond with even small things can make a big difference, like spreading kindness or learning more about how we can help.

00;47;36;02 – 00;47;54;28
Dr. Mona
For teens 14 and older, there are already consuming a lot of news, especially through social media, so the focus should shift to teaching critical thinking and media literacy. This is the time to encourage independent thought while keeping the lines of communication open. If they’re skeptical about a story, they can say, I don’t know if I believe that you can respond with, that’s a great question.

00;47;54;28 – 00;48;15;09
Dr. Mona
Let’s look at the source and figure out if it’s reliable. If they feel overwhelmed by bad news, everything is so messed up. Respond. It can feel like that sometimes. But remember, there’s always good happening too. Let’s focus on the helpers and gratitude and things that are going well. And it’s okay to live with both the sad things that are happening, but also gratitude.

00;48;15;12 – 00;48;34;03
Dr. Mona
And in general, when you’re approaching tough conversations that your child may have seen on the news or they’re talking about in school, I want you to remember the acronym learn L is listen for. Start by asking your child open ended questions like what have you heard? Or how do you feel about this? It’s so important to know where they stand, rather than putting things in their brain that they may not need to know about.

00;48;34;05 – 00;48;53;01
Dr. Mona
E explain. Honestly, you don’t have to have all the answers once you know what they’ve heard. Offer clear, age appropriate explanation, and you don’t need to do graphic details. You could say things like it was a terrible disaster or there was an event and people are working really hard to fix it. Honest but scary a and learn is assure safety.

00;48;53;01 – 00;49;12;12
Dr. Mona
This step is key. Kids want to know that they’re safe. Let them know that people like yourselves firefighters, doctors, or community leaders are working to keep everyone safe as possible. For the R, recognize the helpers. I’ve mentioned this a few times and this is really huge, especially in times of sadness. You want to point out the things that are good.

00;49;12;12 – 00;49;36;16
Dr. Mona
You want to look at the helpers and feed that narrative. Remember what Mr. Rogers said. Look at the helpers. Kids need to see that even in hard times, there are people making a difference and they too can do the same thing in tragedy. And lastly, the end is nurture curiosity. Explore. Encourage their questions, keep that open door with them so that they know that if they have concerns, if they’re feeling anxiety, that they have you to come to.

00;49;36;18 – 00;49;57;07
Dr. Mona
Last but not least, an important part of this episode is watch if the news cycle is impacting you. If we’re feeling overwhelmed or anxious, it’s hard to be calm, steady, and the presence that we need for our children. So here are a few things to keep in mind for yourself. I felt this for about two weeks after the inauguration, with executive orders flying and after the fires in California.

00;49;57;10 – 00;50;13;21
Dr. Mona
And let’s be real, Doomscrolling at midnight. We’ve all been there. It’s so easy to fall into the trap of thinking, if I just read one more article, I’ll feel more in control. But the truth is, consuming too much news doesn’t make you more informed. It just makes you more anxious. So how do we strike that balance? Here are a few things I found helpful.

00;50;13;23 – 00;50;29;14
Dr. Mona
Set a specific time for checking the news or stories that are concerning you. Instead of scrolling all day, pick 1 or 2 moments in your day to check in maybe ten minutes in the evening and try not to do it right before bed. That way you’re staying informed, but it’s not consuming or dominating your mind or your day.

00;50;29;16 – 00;50;51;11
Dr. Mona
Choose your sources wisely. Stick to reputable outlets that give you the facts without sensationalism. Avoid the clickbait headlines that are designed to rile you up. And if a story feels overwhelming, ask yourself, do I need to know this right now? Or can it wait? Take breaks when you need to. This one was a tough lesson for me because I share timely health related news, and I kept telling myself I can’t take a break if I miss something important.

00;50;51;13 – 00;51;13;06
Dr. Mona
How? How is my community going to know what’s going on? But honestly, what was actually happening was more anxiety. I was constantly plugged in, scrolling, checking updates and feeling like I couldn’t step away. Eventually, I realized it’s okay to disconnect. You don’t have to be plugged into every update to stay informed. If something big happens, you’ll hear about it, whether it’s from a friend or family member or your next news check in.

00;51;13;08 – 00;51;30;01
Dr. Mona
For me, that even meant muting some of my favorite accounts for a while, so I would focus on myself. I told myself, if something major happens and it truly needs my attention, I’ll find out. And you know what? It helps so much. Muting the noise gives me space to reset and be a better parent, professional, and person overall.

00;51;30;03 – 00;51;49;28
Dr. Mona
So if you’re feeling overwhelmed by the constant flow of information, give yourself permission to take a step back. You’re not missing out. You’re protecting your peace. And that’s just as important. So here’s my challenge for you the next time the news feels heavy, take a moment. See if you can scale back. Focus on what you can control, and remember to look for the helpers.

00;51;50;00 – 00;52;06;29
Dr. Mona
Focus on gratitude in your life. Remember, I have a gratitude jar exercise on my Instagram. That’s a useful. And whether it’s a big or small thing that you’re doing, your actions can make a difference not just for your kids, but for your own mental well-being. And if this episode gave you some tools or a new perspective, I’d love if you could share that impact.

00;52;06;29 – 00;52;22;24
Dr. Mona
Leave a review, send it to a friend, or share it on social media. You never know who might be feeling overwhelmed and could really use these tips. Together, we can help more parents navigate the hard stuff with a little more grace and a lot more connection. Thank you so much for joining in today and as always, take care.

00;52;22;28 – 00;52;28;00
Dr. Mona
Keep showing up for yourself and for your kids and I cannot wait to chat with another guest next time on the show.