I created this podcast because I believe we can learn so much through community and hearing people’s stories, whether we are experiencing something similar or not. I connected with Moshe Popack, a real estate entrepreneur, the co-founder of a national community gardens non-profit that serves to enrich and empower children, and the father of 11 kids.

 

He joins me to discuss:

• The importance of “chief adaptability” as a parent
• Non-negotiables to his family and relationship with self and his partner
• What he hopes all parents would let go of as a father of 11 children himself

 

Connect with Moshe on Instagram @mpopack and listen to the Common Denominator Podcast. Check out the non-profit organization Neighborhood Farms USA.

 

We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on the PedsDocTalk Podcast Sponsors page of the website.

00;00;01;04 – 00;00;20;26
Moshe Popack
Like I said, each child is very unique and they each have their own journey and their journey. Actually, a lot of parents are trying to bend and shape the kids and they’re frustrated. Yeah, because they want them. The things that they missed as a parent, the things that they want the child to be.

00;00;20;29 – 00;00;43;12
Dr. Mona
Hello PedsDocTalk podcast listeners, thank you for being here. I know the juggle is real as parents and even if you are not a parent. And so I see you taking time out of your day to tune into these awesome conversations I get to have about child health development, parenting, and parental mental health. This show is a top 50 parenting podcast in the US, and let’s make it a top 20.

00;00;43;12 – 00;01;09;23
Dr. Mona
So leave those reviews and update those reviews and share the show. Whoever has a child who was a child or wants to learn more about how to better connect with children in their life and better connect with themselves as parents and individuals. Today’s guest is Moshe Powerpack. He’s a real estate entrepreneur, the co-founder of a national community gardens nonprofit which serves to enrich and empower children, and the father of 11 kids.

00;01;09;23 – 00;01;19;02
Dr. Mona
And he’s joining me today to chat about the five lessons a father of 11 kids has learned. Thank you so much for joining me today, Moshe.

00;01;19;04 – 00;01;21;23
Moshe Popack
Thank you, Doctor Mon, it’s a pleasure to be here.

00;01;21;25 – 00;01;38;20
Dr. Mona
Well, I have two kids and let me tell you, the juggle is real for sure, like I mentioned. Tell us more about yourself and you know your journey. I know you’re an entrepreneur. I know you’re father of 11 kids. You were doing nonprofits. So tell us more about yourself. For anyone who’s not familiar with who you are.

00;01;38;22 – 00;01;58;19
Moshe Popack
So I guess high level, it happens to be, I guess both my wife and I are, we probably have extreme personality, if you want to call it that. We came down to Miami 17 years ago. We work together. Law school, business school. Well, I went to law school and, had a job. Lost the job.

00;01;58;19 – 00;02;24;02
Moshe Popack
So kind of at a point in 2009, we had three kids and no job and no family down here in Florida. And I guess we call it just luck and hard work. Blood, sweat and tears for many years. Basically real estate box, multifamily family, which is apartment communities we own, we own, and we hold, assisted living communities and office buildings.

00;02;24;05 – 00;02;46;10
Moshe Popack
That’s our, I guess, the way we pay our bills in between all that journey. We have nine boys and two girls. I basically work from home. About maybe six years ago, I told my wife that I can work 80 hours a week and I’ll never see the kids. I’ll never see you because I gotta be able, right in the end of the day, functionally, you got to be able to take care of the kids.

00;02;46;13 – 00;03;11;06
Moshe Popack
So we made a big leap. We took about six months to find a president of a company, and that was very hard. I said, the person is going to probably be 70% of the job. But we made that choice and super grateful that we were able to do that because, yes, it wasn’t perfect and constantly iterating, but allowed me to again work from home and help my wife.

00;03;11;06 – 00;03;16;19
Moshe Popack
My wife helped me, but it’s a big organized chaos system with 11 kids at this point.

00;03;16;22 – 00;03;19;18
Dr. Mona
What are the age ranges of your children?

00;03;19;20 – 00;03;48;21
Moshe Popack
So my oldest will be 18 this month in April. And my we had a baby maybe ten weeks. And they’re all different. They’re all I can tell you. I can tell you that, if you go with the space of. And I’m constantly working on that, both my wife and I truly, listening and the way, from a space of unconditional love, which means no judgment, truly no judgment.

00;03;48;24 – 00;03;51;20
Moshe Popack
Right? If you give that space for them to be creative.

00;03;51;23 – 00;04;08;27
Dr. Mona
Well, I feel I’m going to learn so much from you. I’m a practicing pediatrician, so I see families with one children, many children. The most I’ve had in my office so far has been eight. So I have not had a family with 11 children yet. But I’ve had a family who has eight children, and I love learning from people’s experiences, right?

00;04;09;01 – 00;04;28;19
Dr. Mona
Wherever they are in their parenting journey, whether they’re just starting out or whether they have 11 children like you do. And I know we’re going to be talking about five lessons you have learned through the years. Being a father of 11 and also not only that, but the life lessons that you took right from being an entrepreneur and the schooling that you went to, finding someone to take over your business.

00;04;28;22 – 00;04;38;04
Dr. Mona
And I know there’s probably more than five lessons that you probably have for us, but what would be that first lesson that you would want to impart on everyone listening today?

00;04;38;07 – 00;05;07;19
Moshe Popack
Well, I think kind of what what I was saying before really realizing that, okay, so the mere fact that the child is born and that they’re healthy, that in itself they’re perfect. And, you know, they’re very unique. Like I said, each child is very unique and they each have their own journey and their journey. Actually, a lot of parents are trying to bend and shape the kids and they’re frustrated.

00;05;07;22 – 00;05;33;25
Moshe Popack
Yeah. Because they want them. The things that they missed as a parent, the things that they want the child to be. And we had this false expectation. But the child is really an individual know some have need some, occupational therapy, some have some learning disabilities. So whatever you have to really, really tune in and deliver consistently.

00;05;33;25 – 00;05;58;29
Moshe Popack
That’s the number one thing. They have to feel safe and you have to be consistent with how you’re dealing with that child. And it’s different from 18 again, different ages. And what’s actually happening is that even though they’re each different, all 11 of them, but they also tend to change every six months. So yeah. Right. So that’s actually so it’s constantly I think of like chief adaptability.

00;05;59;02 – 00;06;12;05
Moshe Popack
You got to be like super adaptable and very low expectations. From within yourself. You know it’s 11 kids. Be realistic. It’s an organization. Right.

00;06;12;08 – 00;06;30;01
Dr. Mona
Right. And would you find that all of this that you’re about to share, not only this, lesson already, when in your parenting journey did you start to finally have it clicked with this? Was this like child number one, child number two? Like, when did you start to kind of encompass all of these things that you’re like, wow, I myself need to be more adaptable?

00;06;30;01 – 00;06;33;05
Dr. Mona
Or were you already adaptable from the gecko?

00;06;33;07 – 00;06;55;02
Moshe Popack
No. So I it’s funny, my wife was in is an only child and so she didn’t like that’s the story, right? So she didn’t like having to play board games with herself growing up and all that. And she’s like, I want my kids to have their siblings friends. Yeah. And I just I’m a kid at heart and I love kids.

00;06;55;02 – 00;07;12;29
Moshe Popack
So it ended up being that we were having all these, we’re having all these kids. But what was happening the first bunch of years, it took a long time for my wife and I to be on the same page. So me, I’m more like, laissez faire, like, just allow, like the kids to do whatever they, they want to do.

00;07;12;29 – 00;07;36;24
Moshe Popack
But my wife, she’s more disciplined. But it took me a while. I’d say today it’s 19 years of marriage. I’d say today we’re pretty much like we have every day. We’ll meet for an hour because we work together and we also raise the kids together. That’s why it’s super important strategically. Okay? No phones, no nothing. What are we dealing with?

00;07;36;27 – 00;07;44;25
Moshe Popack
We gotta talk it out so we know that we’re both on the same page, and then we tackle and then we come together again. Right? So I love.

00;07;44;25 – 00;07;45;21
Dr. Mona
It.

00;07;45;24 – 00;07;56;07
Moshe Popack
That’s the way it has to be. It took me a while. It took me a while to realize how important it was, to be completely congruent with my partner. Took a while on that.

00;07;56;09 – 00;08;15;05
Dr. Mona
Yeah. I’m learning. Obviously, your perspective not only on being a parent, but also a partner, a business owner. And I love to hear it. My husband and I call it state of the Union addresses, when we meet for an hour and talk about, you know, life, he’s in your position. So we don’t often get those conversations based on schedule, but when we do, it’s a really important thing for us to connect.

00;08;15;05 – 00;08;35;22
Dr. Mona
Like you said, just to figure out what needs to get done. How are we going to stay connected? How are we listening to each other’s needs? So thank you for that already. Lesson one about the unique personalities I completely agree with, and I think a lot of parents get so bogged down into what worked for child number one has to work for child number two and then more children come and they’re like, why isn’t it working?

00;08;35;22 – 00;08;43;23
Dr. Mona
So having that what you mentioned beautifully chief adaptability I love that. Lesson number one. What would be lesson number two.

00;08;43;26 – 00;09;14;26
Moshe Popack
So just like you have to constantly tap in to your partner. Right. That’s quarterbacking with you. You have to make the time. And so what we’ll do is this kind of one on one time, you can’t get to all 11 during the week because you have life. But again, there’ll be one week where my wife, we’ll take the older kids and I’ll take the young kids and then we’ll switch off, but it’ll be undivided one hour with that child.

00;09;14;29 – 00;09;41;00
Moshe Popack
So I’ll tap into him or her every other week. Besides everything that’s going on in the house, I want to be able to see where this child is and where, as a father, they need support. You know, having a rough time with friends, with kids and not feeling too great. And I want to dig and figure out how I can support that child.

00;09;41;02 – 00;09;53;26
Moshe Popack
So that kind of one on one time, one child, two children. How many children have super important you do once a week, once every other week because they’re constantly evolving. That’s very important. And give them what they need.

00;09;53;28 – 00;10;10;29
Dr. Mona
Yeah. From a practicality standpoint, knowing that you have 11 children when you said it’s not happening obviously every day because it’s not sustainable, but you kind of have this sort of rotation aspect where you’re kind of prioritizing, okay, maybe this child today, this child another day, and then you kind of do a rotation that way.

00;10;11;01 – 00;10;32;17
Moshe Popack
That’s right. And then if I see that’s a behaviorally one of the kids is acting out, they only act out. It’s only right. Kids are only acting out in relation to something going on. And your job as a parent is to dig and find out the core and then try to help solve that so they can be more balanced.

00;10;32;19 – 00;11;07;14
Dr. Mona
I absolutely agree with that. From a child development standpoint and in behavior standpoint, that it’s usually a call for connection or attention. And so it’s really great to hear how you do that with again, working and obviously having so many children. And so I love how you kind of frame that in terms of managing the expectation that it’s not going to maybe happen every day, but that you’re looking at who may need you more in a season, or also just making sure that you are tapping into the child who may not have those behavioral issues or may just be kind of more on autopilot, but you are still prioritizing that one on one time with

00;11;07;14 – 00;11;11;07
Dr. Mona
every child. So they feel that they get that with their parent right?

00;11;11;10 – 00;11;31;00
Moshe Popack
Correct? Correct. You know, it’s that connection. You don’t think of it. I remember my grandfather used to tell me for years, you think you could be talking to your kids for like, years and years and years and they hear nothing you’ve said. Yeah, but then one day, after, like, five years, it’s like, oh, eat an apple a day.

00;11;31;07 – 00;11;41;04
Moshe Popack
And just the other day, my son went to the fridge instead of grabbing, I don’t know, something bad. It took an apple. I was like, oh, wow. Yeah, I’m like, that’s interesting, you know?

00;11;41;07 – 00;11;43;02
Dr. Mona
And so you’re like, it’s working.

00;11;43;04 – 00;11;44;18
Moshe Popack
It’s working. Yes.

00;11;44;18 – 00;11;58;02
Dr. Mona
It’s like, oh my skills. Yeah, I know a lot of it is consistency and exposure. Like we all know. Now let’s take a break to hear from our sponsors okay. So I love lesson two. What would be the third lesson for us today.

00;11;58;05 – 00;12;27;03
Moshe Popack
So this is super important that I think framework wise. So my two oldest are two boys 18 and 16. So I tried to double up the idea. The idea is family, right. So you are different, but this is your family. I think statistically the odds of them getting along friends wise, getting along, business wise, the odds are better.

00;12;27;05 – 00;12;56;14
Moshe Popack
Even though you’re different. Because you need different. My wife and I are different, too. But you’ve been around similar background. The odds of them connecting and then showing the younger kids. Right? That connection is super important that they should be. Try to be best friends. Try to connect with each other. One of the practical things that I did, again, my oldest is more strategic and my six year olds more sales, so they start.

00;12;56;14 – 00;13;17;15
Moshe Popack
I had them start a vending machine business. It’s a simple business. So you’re learning so one learning how to get along with each other. Again, different personalities, but also the basics of finance. The basics of business. Right. He’s ordering vending machines from China. He’s bringing him in. He’s there stocking them. They’re running Excel spreadsheets like a basic. And actually they’re growing.

00;13;17;16 – 00;13;38;10
Moshe Popack
There’s fights and disagreements, but I want them to happen now and then. My wife and I, we schedule, okay, we’re going to be mediator on this day of your situation because let them go through it now while they’re young. And also the younger kids can see that. And slowly the issues and the kinks are slowly working themselves out.

00;13;38;17 – 00;13;43;20
Moshe Popack
And also as their brain develops and they, they gain more patience with each other.

00;13;43;23 – 00;14;07;18
Dr. Mona
Yeah, that’s a great thing. Do you find that this strategy also helps with sort of, you know, the collaboration that you’re talking about, right? The two older children collaborating on this point goal, do you feel like it helps or makes sibling rivalry worse? Like how do you guys manage that concept of sibling comparison, sibling rivalry? Related to maybe this or other things in your family?

00;14;07;20 – 00;14;36;01
Moshe Popack
That’s a very tough thing. I think for some reason, and we’ve known it right all the way in the stories of the Bible back. What’s the nature of humans to have sibling rivalry? But I try to foster all the tough conversations. You have them immediately, now and then. We discuss it now, like why? Why should you have jealousy towards your brother just because he’s making a little bit more money than you or he got in, you know, a prize.

00;14;36;04 – 00;15;04;03
Moshe Popack
We’re all family. This is what it is. We’re going to support each other. There are going to be years that things are going to be up. So I’m trying to shape them. And I now for what the truth is, you know, in life later, you know, and this is really what it is, parents have to realize if they don’t get the shaping and the education now from the mother and the father, then it’s going to come from somewhere and it’s coming from some random third party.

00;15;04;06 – 00;15;14;03
Moshe Popack
It has to be you. You chose to have the children. It has to be you educating the children. But again, like I said, with unconditional love, that’s the idea.

00;15;14;06 – 00;15;35;29
Dr. Mona
Yeah, absolutely. I mean, thank you for giving that sort of tough love message, because my platform is a lot of parents of younger children. I obviously know that they’re going to grow with me with my platform. And what I see as a pediatrician often is a lot of parents will come into my office trying to put the expectation on the school system or on the pediatrician to fix issues.

00;15;35;29 – 00;15;51;27
Dr. Mona
Right? And I say, look, I’m only part of this puzzle. Your school system is only part of this puzzle, what is happening in the house. And I love that you said that. Right? Because you are the parent. You are the one who’s going to have to create these rules. And also, the more we do that, the more we create this sort of.

00;15;52;00 – 00;16;13;11
Dr. Mona
It sounds like you guys are creating this really collaborative experience for your children and also open conversation. It sounds like the more we’re doing that, the more they realize that this is how we deal with issues. I’m learning this year. This is how we deal with issues. When I go out in the real world, if I decide to have a partner, or if I decide to have a paid job and have a boss, how am I going to communicate?

00;16;13;14 – 00;16;20;21
Dr. Mona
I’m going to learn the skills I learned in my home with my family. And so I applaud you for doing that and obviously sharing that message.

00;16;20;23 – 00;16;47;13
Moshe Popack
I’ve been working also. It also applies in the business setting. Yeah. You know, in leadership you have to have transparency, accountability. Super important, the hard conversations, right? You’re having those hard conversations. And if you don’t, what happens to the issue. It just stays there. Any issue in personal or in business it just stays and lingers. So you have to get comfortable, doing that all the time.

00;16;47;15 – 00;16;58;11
Moshe Popack
And if you have to throw yourself under the bus, you do it. Because all we’re here to do life short, we have to grow. That’s what we’re here to grow and learn. So that’s that’s the idea.

00;16;58;13 – 00;17;22;04
Dr. Mona
You know. Yeah. And you mentioned also about mediating, right. You had mentioned that you and your wife, you tend to kind of decide when you mediate. Is that your sort of approach with a lot of things. Would you say that you’re more of a mediator or more of broadcaster or more of a referee? What would be your philosophy on, like when there are arguments or discussions or disagreements within the children, how you and your wife would approach that situation?

00;17;22;06 – 00;17;45;26
Moshe Popack
So for me, my most important framework for my wife, down to all my kids, is safety. Like I with 11 kids, like that’s top of mind framework. Yeah. And then I think of either they have a job or their job is school. Right. Like my son was asked me the other day is like, why is school so important?

00;17;45;26 – 00;18;02;25
Moshe Popack
Because I’m like, that’s what you should be doing. That’s what your commitment is. And you have to be accountable to doing that. And you’re smart. So you can you have the ability to get good grades. Either that or you’re playing video games. Yeah. You told me you were going to get good grades. You said, so make good on that promise.

00;18;02;27 – 00;18;26;23
Moshe Popack
You know? So it’s super important to do that. But if they’ve done that right, if they’ve eaten dinner and done what they need to do, generally you don’t want to quash, because I see that so much as adults, the creative genes that we have as children, I think that children have it more right than adults. So don’t squash that right.

00;18;26;26 – 00;18;45;02
Moshe Popack
That is the ability where the future of the world is going to be right. You want to be in the sparks, right with so let’s go to school. You know, I went to law school, right? Let’s do this. We’re doing all these things. But in reality, you know, who says a lot of systems that exists? Who says that’s the best way?

00;18;45;04 – 00;18;55;21
Moshe Popack
Right. So the creative child has the ability to push limits. So you want, you know, it’s a dance. It’s a dance. So you want them to have the creative outlets?

00;18;55;23 – 00;19;17;17
Dr. Mona
Yeah. Oh, absolutely. And hopefully, like you said, going back to number one, the first lesson, like celebrating their unique personalities and also their unique strengths, what is it that their strengths and weaknesses are. So we’ve already had really three great lessons. So celebrating unique personality one on one time, encouraging them to collaborate like you said. What would be number four.

00;19;17;19 – 00;19;40;17
Moshe Popack
So going to that idea of and again, as I mentioned before, the idea of tough love, which my wife had that naturally. But it’s funny because she, she had the grandparents, the parents, she was only child. She had everyone doting on her. Yeah. But her parents were immigrated from right before she was born. So they were immigrants and she grew up.

00;19;40;20 – 00;20;00;21
Moshe Popack
My father drove a taxi for ten years and it was a very tough it was very tough life, but it was full of love. Right. So it’s we have to have that a lot more. A lot of people nowadays, it’s kind of like that victimhood. It’s other people’s fault. Even as an adult. No, you’re an adult. And then what?

00;20;00;23 – 00;20;22;06
Moshe Popack
And then what point are you going to take responsibility for your actions? So you have to mirror it as parents and you have to have those conversations now with your children, even if they’re five, six years old, eight years old. You have to have those tough go. No, that’s not correct. Know that friend. You know he smokes, he drinks.

00;20;22;08 – 00;20;43;28
Moshe Popack
That’s not good. Yeah, right. I know you want to hang out with them. And I know you want to play video games for five hours. I want to I’m not going to write the honest, truthful, tough love because you care. If you don’t care, you then you’re not doing that right. You have to do that. And maybe some people work two jobs and it’s exhausting to do that.

00;20;44;00 – 00;21;00;18
Moshe Popack
But again, you chose remember that instead of watching the football game on Sunday or watching, I don’t know the last time I watch TV or I don’t know, last night my wife, we have a ten week old. So she chose she chose, you know, she’s going to you sometimes we have a night nurse, but no, this time she’s up all night.

00;21;00;18 – 00;21;08;25
Moshe Popack
I mean, the baby was up all night last night. That was just what it was I was up to. My other son was sick. You do whatever you need to do again to that adaptability.

00;21;08;28 – 00;21;23;23
Dr. Mona
Right? Oh, I was up last night, too. And I have again. I have two children. The younger one was up for. And bless her heart, she sleeps normally through the night and up right before we had to record this show. And I’m like, oh, it’s a doozy, right? But you, like you said, you do what you have to do.

00;21;23;26 – 00;21;40;25
Dr. Mona
You can’t change the situation that you’re in. And that again, going back to that really amazing phrase that you said that chief up adaptability, it’s going to apply to just so many facets of our lives, not just for being parents. So I love bringing all of what you’re saying back to that really great phrase, because it really does apply.

00;21;40;27 – 00;21;51;14
Dr. Mona
And so these are great lessons, I think number five, I think I’m really excited about, the final lesson, because it’s something I’m also really passionate about. But what would that be for us, our listeners today.

00;21;51;16 – 00;22;18;08
Moshe Popack
Right. So someone that’s listening, right. So they’re thinking about it, they’re like like, oh, wow, I got to make one on one time for the wife. I got 11 kids. I got to make one one on one time for the kids. I do all these things right. So what about me? Right? What about me? Yeah. So that is the most important thing, because it was very hard for myself to have the strength to say to my partner, you know what I need this.

00;22;18;10 – 00;22;35;23
Moshe Popack
I need to go for a bike ride. I need to go for a run. This is what I need for my mental health. Because otherwise you’re going to get a half version of me, and I’m not going to show up to you or the kids correctly. And there’s nothing wrong with that. People will say, oh, that’s selfish.

00;22;35;25 – 00;22;58;12
Moshe Popack
That’s no, it’s not you know yourself and maybe people don’t see how much you’re doing, but it doesn’t matter when you have like for me, when you have 11 kids, it’s you, your wife and your kids. Again, you want to make sure they’re safe. But the idea is be honest with that. What time? You know, that’s self-awareness. You need to journal a lot.

00;22;58;12 – 00;23;27;21
Moshe Popack
Be aware. Okay, I’m not feeling so great right now. This is just what it is. And you need to make that a top priority because it’s not fair to your wife or your kids. If you show up halfway or you’re flipping or you’re on edge, that’s not that’s not okay. It’s not okay. So you have to communicate that and watch and sometimes you have to curb that need also sometimes because again, your wife might not have slept all night the night before.

00;23;27;27 – 00;23;41;13
Moshe Popack
So you have to watch that. You have to be have a little bit of empathy. Right. And see wow, she didn’t sleep all night like mean. Maybe I’ll take the baby and just shut my mouth and do what I got to do, you know? Right. It’s it’s that far too.

00;23;41;15 – 00;23;59;04
Dr. Mona
Now let’s take a break to hear from our sponsors. Do you find that your wife is able to do what you’re doing? Like you said? Like the taking time for yourself, you know, like understanding that she would be a better mom. I believe I feel this as a mother myself, a better mom, a better partner. If she is able to take that time.

00;23;59;09 – 00;24;10;14
Dr. Mona
Do you feel that she is also on that same page and that get that same opportunity as you do? I know that you guys have a ten week old, but what do you feel about your wife’s perspective about that?

00;24;10;16 – 00;24;32;22
Moshe Popack
So it was hard for both of us to give ourselves time. And by the way, in a marriage, it’s time together. Time apart. Yeah, that’s also super important because just why I like my music. I like my books by myself. I want to go for a walk by myself just to think and just be right. There’s nothing wrong with that.

00;24;32;24 – 00;24;53;11
Moshe Popack
But now we’re getting better and better and she’s getting better. It very hard for her, whether it’s just to go out and do her hair or do her nails. Yeah. Just something or go to the gym. Now it’s ten weeks, so it’s been tough. But she’s slowly getting back to herself. Usually takes three or 4 or 5 months, but she’s getting better.

00;24;53;11 – 00;25;06;27
Moshe Popack
And again, it’s just the idea going into marriage, it has to be over communication. If it’s something that you’re thinking about, communicate it. It shouldn’t be. There should be a healthy space to talk about everything.

00;25;06;29 – 00;25;20;18
Dr. Mona
And did you find that, you know, this ability to take time for yourself? Did you find that it was much more difficult? I’m assuming. So when you were kind of in that growing phase of your business, I know you said you had recently sold it or found someone to take over it, and then you have more time.

00;25;20;24 – 00;25;33;07
Dr. Mona
But how did you find that time for yourself? Or maybe your partner as well? Or is it just that you realized that it was a season where maybe self-preservation was going to be not as prevalent as it is now?

00;25;33;09 – 00;25;54;26
Moshe Popack
Yeah, I think about that a lot, that in society today, the tremendous need for immediate gratification. So if you have a carrot, that, you know, you’re going to get in three weeks from now, you’re going to work extremely hard for the next three weeks. But there’s going to be a day that we have, we live in Miami, but we have a farm, you know, four hours away.

00;25;54;29 – 00;26;16;27
Moshe Popack
Just that moment, I always say when I wake up the next morning when the sun’s being down, I’m on the grass. It’s like I can work for weeks sleeping 3 or 4 hours a day, because I think about just those couple hours just sitting on the farm, you hear the birds chirping and it’s normal. So everybody has what is that carrot for them?

00;26;17;00 – 00;26;36;13
Moshe Popack
And they have to just curb a little bit. And that’s how the play is. But the brain needs rewards. You have to reward yourself a good meal, something you have to do something for yourself. And it doesn’t have to be immediate, like, I need this right now. No, take it later, but take it, you know, and you find that balance.

00;26;36;15 – 00;26;57;06
Dr. Mona
Do you feel like your peers, you know, I know obviously you’re probably in a community with other parents, your peers or what you’ve seen in the community. What would you say you wish you could tell more families and especially more parents in a way, like things that they’re making parenting more difficult for themselves? Like, I mean, you’ve already brought so many things right into the picture.

00;26;57;06 – 00;27;08;26
Dr. Mona
You brought things about connection, but are there things that you think that we could just be better at and just let go more of as parents that would make us find more peace and joy in the parenting experience?

00;27;08;29 – 00;27;31;00
Moshe Popack
I think the mere fact, again, it goes back to original birth, right? You’re a parent. When I watch my wife in labor and give birth, it’s the most it’s the craziest thing ever. And the mere fact that she’s okay and that the baby’s okay, you have to go in with a space of that. Like you have to go in with a deep sense of gratitude.

00;27;31;00 – 00;27;54;27
Moshe Popack
You look at the child and you really, I learn a lot from my children. Maybe try to role reverse for a little bit and just look in the kind of like wonderment and don’t take everything so seriously. Life is there’s a lot going on, we think because of maybe social media and movies and stuff, that things make sense a certain way and should be a certain way.

00;27;54;29 – 00;28;16;00
Moshe Popack
No, that’s completely made up in the head. Everything is just fluid and we’re crazy. We had Covid for four years and kids weren’t in school, and everybody’s going through some tough stuff. I mean, that’s just that’s just where we are. So don’t be so hard on yourself. Don’t be sore in the kids. Don’t be so horny. And your wife and your husband, like, take a step back and just have a, I guess, a general sense of gratitude.

00;28;16;00 – 00;28;24;26
Moshe Popack
But coming from the fact that everyone’s healthy, if everyone’s healthy, good day. Good day. That’s it. You know, that’s that’s kind of the way I see it.

00;28;24;28 – 00;28;42;17
Dr. Mona
I see, too, I mean, you know, I am a pediatrician by education. So I’ve always said that. And having gone through also my own personal health issues, you know, delivering my first son and also my daughter as well, health and safety, you know, you brought back to that safety component, right? Not only just physical safety, but emotional safety.

00;28;42;17 – 00;29;04;12
Dr. Mona
I know you’re creating with your family, but safety and health, if we have those two things, how beautiful life is. And I know because when I don’t have health, you know, just need someone has a cold. I know it sounds like a little thing, but also the serious things mental health issues, major physical issues when you don’t have that, how much more difficult life is.

00;29;04;12 – 00;29;25;27
Dr. Mona
And so I love that you bring it back to the basics. And I think every parent wants we want the health, we want the safety. And when the all that’s happening, it can be a good, peaceful life, right? I mean, you can hopefully find time to carve out that one on one time, that time for yourself. And I really appreciate you sharing all this information in the experience that you have.

00;29;25;27 – 00;29;45;21
Dr. Mona
Right. You are an entrepreneur. You have you guys on a farm, you have 11 children. And the reason why this is such an important conversation for me is that although I might not have 11 children or other parents, listening may not have 11 kids. You have just imparted so much knowledge that I. I love to hear from people who are experiencing parenting a little bit differently than I am, right?

00;29;45;21 – 00;30;02;17
Dr. Mona
Because I think even though you are experiencing something so different than me in the job that you’re doing, and also with the how many children you have, I connect with that, right? I connect with those five things that you just shared with me, and I just think it’s so valuable. So thank you so much for all that information today.

00;30;02;17 – 00;30;05;00
Dr. Mona
I really enjoyed hearing your perspective.

00;30;05;02 – 00;30;27;03
Moshe Popack
And I think I just want to add one more thing and this high level. So 50 years ago it was a stat about 70% of households in America was a family, was a man, woman, child. Today I think it’s about 17%. And what are we seeing? We’re seeing more and more mental health issues, other, other issues in society.

00;30;27;05 – 00;30;55;03
Moshe Popack
I think the family unit and community, is just super important because people just believe that they can get results, right? No, it’s the hard conversations. It’s the relationships. It’s the family, right? It’s real stuff. And the more we try, I think the more we go back to that. I think it helps to the original core of what we’re doing it to grow as humans.

00;30;55;06 – 00;30;57;04
Moshe Popack
So appreciate them.

00;30;57;04 – 00;31;18;04
Dr. Mona
Well, I share that sentiment. You know, this show that you’re on right now is not only about parenting kids. You know, we talk so much about how do we get through tantrums or picky eating or all of the things, but it’s so much more like you just said about how are we showing up for our children to be better parents, but also better humans and better people, you know?

00;31;18;04 – 00;31;36;07
Dr. Mona
And that is just what I think life is about. That sort of growth mentality while our children are developing. Right? They’re going through all their stages, all the milestones. But what are you going through, you know, as a parent, how are you growing? How are you changing those things that weren’t serving you, like you said, being more adaptable.

00;31;36;07 – 00;31;53;10
Dr. Mona
I asked you earlier about like, were you always adaptable for me? You know, it’s a really hard time letting go of control. And so as a parent, I’ve had to learn to say I need to let go of control, to be more adaptable, you know? And so that’s why I really resonated with that. So thank you for that final message.

00;31;53;13 – 00;31;53;26
Moshe Popack
Yeah.

00;31;53;28 – 00;32;10;28
Dr. Mona
Thank you. I really enjoyed this conversation. Where can people stay connected? I also know that you have your own show or podcast. I know it’s not geared towards parenting as well, but share with us more about that show as well as where people can stay connected, whether you’re on social media or other resources as well.

00;32;11;00 – 00;32;47;14
Moshe Popack
So as business was growing, we’re very fortunate enough to have a box of, I guess, philanthropy of things that we can do to help and a lot of things we’re getting these third parties, these different organizations. But I, I just have a belief that humans have tremendous potential. And I think that the best way maybe that I can give is it’s called common Denominators, the name of our podcast, the idea is that we talk about the things we have in common as humans, instead of the things that, you know in the media, what sells, the things that are fear based and things that divide.

00;32;47;17 – 00;33;15;16
Moshe Popack
Right. So my show, we try to bring all walks of life, humans from all walks of life, bring them together to talk about the things in human that we have in common. And we give, again, actionable, practical advice. People can take it. You can leave it. Business people, mindset coaches, athletes. We’ve had about 170 episodes. And, it’s been a labor of love and super exciting.

00;33;15;19 – 00;33;34;08
Moshe Popack
And then we have, you know, book recommendations, blogs. It’s basically Moesha, pop A.com Mosby, pop pac.com to find everything, that we’re doing. And we’re super excited to share with everybody.

00;33;34;11 – 00;33;51;14
Dr. Mona
Yeah, I’m super excited to connect further with you. I’m going to be attaching all of those resources and thank you again for this amazing conversation. And just I love being able to connect with people that sort of share this passion, not only for parenting, but also for life. So it was really great chatting with you today.

00;33;51;17 – 00;33;53;23
Moshe Popack
Thank you so much, man. I really appreciate it.

00;33;53;26 – 00;34;11;09
Dr. Mona
For everyone listening, please make sure you check out the Common Denominator podcast. I’m going to be linking that to my show notes as well as his website and all of the, you know, resources. And again, the show that I think is so important because I think we brought that to the show today. Right. Common denominator of what we want as parents.

00;34;11;09 – 00;34;34;16
Dr. Mona
Right. What is the vision? What are the values that you want to instill in your children? So if you love this show and this episode, make sure to check out his podcast. And also make sure to leave a review or a rating for our show here so we know you love this conversation! Tag us on social media. Make sure to share this with whatever you think will be interested, and I cannot wait to chat with another guest next time on the podcast.