We’ve all been there. The feeling of groundhog day that motherhood can bring. In this episode, I answer a question from a mom in the PDT community about how to enjoy the day-to-day grind more as a mom. I discuss:

• 5 tips to getting out of the monotony that can be the day-to-day grind
• Signs that you may be in a grind
• How to break out of the grind while still getting things done

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00;00;01;02 – 00;00;22;10

Dr. Mona

Have you ever just started driving your kids home and forgot that you’re actually driving? Meaning you’re following all the rules and making sure you’re safe, but you’re on autopilot? That autopilot mode, you’re in the grind and we have to take the brakes to be more present. Welcome back to the show. I am Doctor Mona, and thank you so much for joining us each and every week.

 

00;00;22;17 – 00;00;47;24

Dr. Mona

I love doing these episodes where I get to talk to professionals and also answer your questions that are submitted by the PDT community. So thank you for leaving those reviews. Sharing this podcast with everyone that you know and sharing it on social media and tagging me. It means so much. I have been doing Monday and Wednesday episodes on this show since April of 2021, and this May of 2023 will be the last time.

 

00;00;48;01 – 00;01;10;07

Dr. Mona

I do Monday and Wednesday episodes. I will still be releasing a amazing Wednesday episodes where I speak to guests in the world of pediatrics, parental mental health, and I’ll be moving parent episodes to Wednesdays as well. Why is this important for me to tell you? Well, because most of you listening are parents, many of whom are moms, and part of being a parent is creating sustainability whenever you can.

 

00;01;10;13 – 00;01;33;05

Dr. Mona

So you don’t burn out. In case you missed it, baby number two is on the way in June, and with the excitement coming with Ryaan, my son, and his new sibling. Sustainability was so important to me. So we are going back to a weekly podcast episodes. Continuing on with social media and continuing on with YouTube. So make sure you follow me there and stay tuned for all of our Wednesday episodes.

 

00;01;33;08 – 00;02;00;06

Dr. Mona

I thought sharing that was important. As I talk today about a question submitted in by one of the moms in the PDT community about enjoying the day to day grind more as a mom, and I thought, so much of this enjoyment is about sustainability. So much of this is making sure we are checking in with ourselves, our partner, if we have them, and our resources to make sure we are not over extending ourselves so we can actually enjoy motherhood and not resent it.

 

00;02;00;09 – 00;02;25;16

Dr. Mona

So let’s get into this. Five ways to enjoy the day to day grind more as moms. Life as a parent can often seem like Groundhog Day, especially the younger the child you have. Wake up. Feed. Sleep. Feed. Dishes. Prep for. Wake up. Feed. Go outside. Feed. Sleep. Feed. I remember maternity leave feeling like Groundhog Day, and I told myself early on with Ryan that I did not want to get into the monotony of postpartum.

 

00;02;25;19 – 00;02;48;15

Dr. Mona

So this leads me to the first thing on how to enjoy the day to day grind more. Number one is surprise yourself with something new. When Ryan was born, I had major physical recovery after the C-section and a repeat surgery that needed to be done. You can remember a story. Most of y’all know what happened there, but once I could start to walk more, I would stroll him around and get lunch at random restaurants near our apartment.

 

00;02;48;16 – 00;03;08;24

Dr. Mona

I would switch it up. I was bottle feeding him, so I take a bottle if it was his feeding time, and I’d get outside in the Florida winter, which is beautiful. If you didn’t go and sit outside and eat lunch while he slept in his stroller and it just broke up the day. As your child gets older, this could be changing up what you usually get for lunch or take for lunch, and saying yes to a colleague for a lunch date.

 

00;03;08;27 – 00;03;33;16

Dr. Mona

Hopefully a colleague that you like when you normally wouldn’t break up the routine by still having your routine breakfast, lunch, dinner, what you need to get done but switch out parts of it. What you’re eating, who you’re talking to. Call a friend unexpectedly. Surprise yourself with something new. The second thing I mentioned this one to begin with, but considering sustainability in your life, this can be tough because seasons change.

 

00;03;33;19 – 00;03;54;06

Dr. Mona

Using example. Sometimes we have had childcare as a family and sometimes we don’t. And I can tell you that when you have childcare help, it makes life seem a lot more smooth. But when you don’t, it can feel a little bit tough. But you need to evaluate your schedule, life, resources. Whenever you need to create a sustainability plan.

 

00;03;54;08 – 00;04;16;11

Dr. Mona

Feeling tight with deadlines for work? Move the deadline. Can’t move them. Speak to your partner on how to balance home life. They can’t help or have their own commitments or deadlines, or you don’t have a partner. Figure out ways to be more sustainable. Things like meal prepping, taking out food, fast food. Remember, these things are for seasons right now.

 

00;04;16;11 – 00;04;34;03

Dr. Mona

At the time I released the episode, our family is in survival mode and not thriving mode, and that is a reality that I know we’re not going to be in for a long time. I’m pregnant. My husband is dealing with health and work issues and we have no help outside of Ryan’s school. No grandparents, no one to help us on weekends, no one to help us on emergencies.

 

00;04;34;08 – 00;04;55;14

Dr. Mona

And it’s stressful for any parent who goes through that. I understand that that can be difficult. It’s tiring. And because I’m pregnant, it’s even more tiring. So I have leaned in more on takeout meal prep my husband does, or fast food without feeling shamed. I understand that this is a season of life that we’re in. This is all part of life and there’s balance to it.

 

00;04;55;14 – 00;05;11;11

Dr. Mona

And can I tell you, Ryan loves it. That dang Happy Meal. I mean, he was so happy when I was so tired and I’m like, I just can’t even cook. I didn’t even think about cooking today. I am so exhausted. And I was like, let’s just get McDonald’s. And he was so happy. So it’s a win win some of these nights.

 

00;05;11;13 – 00;05;27;11

Dr. Mona

This is important so you don’t feel the grind so much. You can learn to let go and say, okay, today I’m going to switch things up. I don’t want to cook. I want to surprise myself with something else or surprise my family. I don’t want to clean. I’m going to sit and live a sustainable life where I’m not overdoing.

 

00;05;27;17 – 00;05;45;17

Dr. Mona

And this can take us out of the feelings of the grind and monotony. The next thing is connect with others. Look, I get this is really hard, but especially as moms, we are guilty of not reaching out to other moms because we’re all busy. We feel like everyone has their own issues. We feel like no one’s going to understand.

 

00;05;45;17 – 00;06;08;22

Dr. Mona

We feel like we’re a burden. No, no, no, I need to remind you that human connection is very powerful when you’re feeling the grind. Like I said, reach out for a lunch date with a friend that you like. Obviously, I know schedules need to match up. Tell your partner you have to have a dinner date at home. Once the kids go to sleep again, you’re surprising yourself with something new and connecting with others along the way.

 

00;06;08;24 – 00;06;25;28

Dr. Mona

I know with the dinner time, right? We tend to eat with our kids. You know you have mealtime battles. Okay. Eat this. Don’t eat this. You’re kind of distracted by just the monotony of the day. But sometimes what me and my husband do are like, hey, look, Ryan’s eating early. Why don’t we? Me and you put him to bed, and then we’ll eat alone later.

 

00;06;26;01 – 00;06;43;11

Dr. Mona

Just us too, so we can actually talk that there’s no toddler trying to talk over us. And sometimes, like I said, that surprise of a routine can really help in the resources that you have. What do we love? A date night? Absolutely. But that’s not in our reality right now. Without anyone to watch our son. So we just change it up inside our home.

 

00;06;43;14 – 00;07;04;07

Dr. Mona

And you know, I love that all of you come on. My social media platform, Pizza Talk Talk. That’s where my platform is. That’s where I get to connect. But try to connect off of phones and computers. Join a local Facebook group only to make meetup plans. Maybe you’ll meet someone new. Maybe you’ll meet someone that you connect with and do that for the comfortability and the connection with others.

 

00;07;04;09 – 00;07;23;19

Dr. Mona

If you don’t feel comfortable making new bond friends, I get it. Sometimes it’s really hard making mom friends that you can connect with. Lean in on your uplifting, supporting friends that you already have. Call up friends who you connect with even if they’re not moms. Look at the people in your life right now that bring you joy, uplift you, and reach out to them.

 

00;07;23;21 – 00;07;45;22

Dr. Mona

Connection helps break the grind and bring more peace. The next thing is take the break. We focus so much on moving to one thing after another. So many times we have to do and get things done and move. We move from this task to this task, to this task, to this task, checking things off, and we just seem like we’re hurrying around.

 

00;07;45;25 – 00;08;03;00

Dr. Mona

This needs to be picked up. I need to get here on time. I need to get dinner on the stove. I’m telling you, take the five minutes, kids will get picked up. You will get to where you need to go. Dinner will get made and maybe eaten. Sit in your car, in the driveway, in silence or with your favorite music before you go into your family.

 

00;08;03;03 – 00;08;18;22

Dr. Mona

We don’t always get those moments. I have been there where I’m rushing from work because I have to make pick up on time. I know these times can be tough, but when you do have the moment to say you did get off of work on time, it’s okay to take those five minutes. It’s okay to take that break.

 

00;08;18;28 – 00;08;36;02

Dr. Mona

It’s okay to breathe and say, you know what? My child safe there in child care. I will make it to them. But sometimes that means for me, sitting outside of his child care facility and just taking a moment before I go in, before I get into that mom mode, after being on work mode or other mode throughout the day.

 

00;08;36;02 – 00;08;52;15

Dr. Mona

And frankly, our minds can’t function long term like this, where we’re just constantly going and going and going and there’s really no pause for our brain. We wake up, we check our phone, we go do our stuff for our children, do our stuff ourselves. Maybe you go to work, maybe you’re doing errands around the house. Maybe during errands outside the house.

 

00;08;52;23 – 00;09;08;08

Dr. Mona

Maybe you have to pick up your child, and then you do dinner, and then it’s bedtime, and then you literally put them down, and then it’s dishes, and then it’s sit down in front of a TV. We need to still our mind. Our minds cannot function long terms like this. We need a reset button. From time to time.

 

00;09;08;08 – 00;09;28;12

Dr. Mona

You have to take a break, a moment to reset these moments not only give us more space to breathe, it breaks up that robotic monotony experience we feel like we have going on. Have you ever just started driving your kids home and forgot that you’re actually driving? Meaning you’re following all the rules and making sure you’re safe, but you’re on autopilot?

 

00;09;28;15 – 00;09;50;10

Dr. Mona

That autopilot mode, you’re in the grind, and we have to take the brakes to be more present. And lastly, well, there’s a lot of different things, but this is an important one taking care of yourself and your body. And I’m not asking you to do an elaborate workout every day, but I do believe that we can find five ten minutes to just move our body and take care of ourselves.

 

00;09;50;15 – 00;10;14;04

Dr. Mona

Listen, I can sometimes barely keep my head above water with all that I have going on, but when you take those breaks that I mentioned before this comment, take that five minutes to walk in the sun in nature. Do not look at your cell phone. Do something off of the device. If you can’t get outside and the weather’s not great, or you’re just not physically able to before switching activities, maybe you’re going from work mode to picking up your child.

 

00;10;14;07 – 00;10;35;24

Dr. Mona

Stretch your body. If you can’t exercise to release endorphins, which helps deal with stress, which that stress can bubble up when we’re in the grind and it makes us feel like we’re in the grind more and you just don’t get that release, we want to have that release, whether it’s through a mental break, whether it’s through a physical break where we’re moving our body.

 

00;10;35;27 – 00;10;54;17

Dr. Mona

So stretch. What I do is I’ll move my ankles in circles, I’ll move my wrists in circles, and you can do it with me right now. As long as you’re not driving, rotate your neck in a circle and just rotate your body and just focus on your body. And I’ve always said this. Think your body. Think your body for allowing you to move from point A to point B.

 

00;10;54;21 – 00;11;22;04

Dr. Mona

Thank your lungs for allowing you to breathe, but just focus on your body. Stretch your body. Even if you can’t exercise and take care of yourself by remembering that you will get through the grind. And a lot of it is how we approach the mindset of the grind. A lot of times, obviously our circumstances, our resources don’t allow us to break out of that monotony, but find these little ways to do that, find these little ways so that it doesn’t seem like Groundhog Day.

 

00;11;22;04 – 00;11;54;07

Dr. Mona

Every single day you have power on how you approach it, how you change patterns or things that aren’t serving you, and how you can look at yourself as an incredible parent that you are and how you have control over the situation. Thank you so much for joining me today. Remember that if you are a parent and want to come on the show to chat with me about a concern, or you just want to submit a question, make sure you sign up for our email list, where we send out a form each week to invite parents to come on the show and make sure you continue to leave those reviews.

 

00;11;54;07 – 00;12;16;29

Dr. Mona

Make sure you share this on social media. I love the way this podcast is growing and I cannot wait for amazing episodes coming your way this year. Thank you for tuning in for this week’s episode. As always, please leave a review. Share this episode with a friend. Share it on your social media. Make sure to follow me at PedsDocTalk on Instagram and subscribe to my YouTube channel, PedsDocTalk TV.

 

00;12;17;02 – 00;12;18;01

Dr. Mona

We’ll talk to you soon.