We are constantly going through life transitions and as a new parent it can feel like it’s a CONSTANT. As your child develops, you are constantly going through major transitions as well. Becoming a new mom (or caregiver), maybe going back to work, your child starting school, health issues, etc. Change is constant in our lives but it can sometimes FEEL so hard. I welcome Dr. Krista Klein who has a PhD in interdisciplinary education, scholar, and mother dedicated to supporting other women who are navigating major transitions in their personal and professional lives.

 

She joins me to discuss:

• Why change is hard and how we can take control of change
• The “SNAP to Impact” framework for change and why it’s helpful
• Why processing stress, burnout, and trauma is important in managing major life transitions

 

To connect with Krista Klein follow her on Instagram @drkristaklein and head to https://www.drkristaklein.com/ for more resources.

 

Our podcasts are also now on YouTube. If you prefer a video podcast with closed captioning, check us out there and subscribe to PedsDocTalk TV.

 

We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on the PedsDocTalk Podcast Sponsorships page of the website.

00;00;00;03 – 00;00;18;05
Krista Klein
So when you’re in the office, you’re working really hard, and then you get a phone call that you have to go pick up your kid from school. It’s a constant in between, like, I’m never 100% everywhere, and I have to find what my 100% looks like in different spaces, knowing that I’m kind of always in that in-between state.

00;00;18;07 – 00;00;41;25
Krista Klein
So it’s when you’re in one job, you’re looking for another job, even when you’re on vacation. And then you have to come back from vacation. I know you just went on a vacation. So thinking about the constant transitions that we’re dealing with in life, and how do we navigate those, whether they’re huge, major, major life stressors and traumas or they’re these, you know, everyday changes that we need to adapt to.

00;00;41;26 – 00;00;47;06
Krista Klein
So to me, in between is just how do you make the transition? How do you make the move from one state to another basically.

00;00;47;08 – 00;01;06;29
Dr. Mona
Welcome back PedsDocTalk podcast family. I’m Doctor Mona and I hope you are doing well. It is September and it’s back to school season for many of you. And with it comes a lot of stress, a lot of things on your to do list, and a whole lot of change. And change can be exciting. Change can be stressful, and change can be hard all at the same time.

00;01;06;29 – 00;01;28;15
Dr. Mona
Whether you have a new baby, you’re sending your kid off to school for the first time, or for a new grade you’re moving or going through a difficult period of your life. Change is impossible to avoid. On today’s episode, I invite Doctor Krista Klein, who has a PhD in interdisciplinary education and who’s also a mom who supports other women who are navigating major transitions in their personal and professional lives.

00;01;28;22 – 00;01;45;11
Dr. Mona
We go over the Snap to Impact framework how self-reflection, navigating uncertainty, adapting to changing roles and processing stress, burnout, trauma, and making an impact. Help us cope with change. Let’s get to it. Thank you so much for joining me today, doctor Krista.

00;01;45;14 – 00;01;49;01
Krista Klein
Thank you so much for having me, Doctor Mona. I’m thrilled to be here.

00;01;49;03 – 00;02;05;17
Dr. Mona
I’m so happy that we’re going to talk about this, because we all know that there are major and minor transitions. You know, sometimes they’re not so in your face. And I love that we’re going to talk about and normalize that. There’s many things in our life that can be a big transition, and that it doesn’t have to be so hard.

00;02;05;18 – 00;02;10;29
Dr. Mona
So before we get into all of that, tell us your story and what led you to this work?

00;02;11;02 – 00;02;36;08
Krista Klein
Sure. So I’ve always worked in higher education, specifically with college students who make that transition from high school to college. So that was my big introduction to change and transition, but I didn’t really understand how that affected me until I became a mother myself and really grieved a lot of my identity and how that shifted upon maternity leave and that experience.

00;02;36;10 – 00;02;55;24
Krista Klein
And I really did not have a great maternity leave experience. And I wanted to go back to work. And I felt like, yeah, those conversations weren’t really happening. So for me, I was able to kind of translate that into some profession. National presentations across the country that were focusing on supporting women who were returning to work after maternity leave.

00;02;55;27 – 00;03;24;10
Krista Klein
And that’s really where this all started. I then kind of dug into my dissertation, which focused on the experience of undergraduate women. So again, I work in a college setting. But all those themes connected between the women that I talked to who are navigating these life transitions, specifically maternity leave and becoming a mother. So I found all these connections and thought, this is really interesting, and I feel like there’s a way to simplify how we navigate change in our lives.

00;03;24;13 – 00;03;32;27
Dr. Mona
This is great. And what was it for you that was so difficult or hard about maternity leave? You said that you were excited about going back to work. I love to hear that story.

00;03;33;04 – 00;03;35;15
Krista Klein
So I love control.

00;03;35;17 – 00;03;39;06
Dr. Mona
Yes. Oh me too. Well, yes. Yeah.

00;03;39;09 – 00;04;12;08
Krista Klein
I love being organized and having kids together. And I felt like that was really, truly the first time where I was completely out of control and being in my work environment allowed me to control some things. Yeah. And, and that made a huge difference, though more deeply. I was really, really struggling with postpartum anxiety and OCD, so I, ended up in a lot of therapy, taking medication, doing a lot of work on my own mental health, which is something that played a big part in my research as well.

00;04;12;08 – 00;04;29;11
Krista Klein
But did not realize that and was kind of curious, you know, when did the alarm bells go off? When does that become super serious? And for me, it was just so gradual that I never saw that it was a huge issue until it had kind of already come to a head, so needed to really take care of myself during that time.

00;04;29;16 – 00;04;49;22
Dr. Mona
Well, we are two people, two peas in a pod because I, I resonate so deeply with that, you know, that that lack of control and how when you become a mom, I don’t think those who crave that control forget how far that transition can be to motherhood because of that. Just the fact that it’s built in, you’re just not going to have predictability.

00;04;49;27 – 00;05;06;20
Dr. Mona
You’re not going to have control, especially in the fourth, fourth trimester and normalizing that and the work that you’re doing is so important. Let’s get into, you know, you talk about this term called living in the in-between. What does that mean for anyone who’s not familiar? And I would love to know more about that phrase that you have discussed in your work.

00;05;06;27 – 00;05;33;01
Krista Klein
Sure. So I borrowed the phrase from a Mandy Moore song because I am a huge Mandy Moore. Stan. But I love this. Yeah, I love her so much. I specifically felt like constantly in these two different states as, parent, as a caregiver and also acknowledging what you said in the very beginning of how that feels when you’re in small transitions to.

00;05;33;01 – 00;05;55;26
Krista Klein
So when you’re in the office, you’re working really hard, and then you get a phone call that you have to go pick up your kid from school. It’s a constant in between, like, I’m never 100% everywhere, and I have to find what my 100% looks like in different spaces. Knowing that I’m always in that in-between state. So it’s when you’re in one job, you’re looking for another job even when you’re on vacation.

00;05;55;28 – 00;06;16;13
Krista Klein
And then you have to come back from vacation. I know you just went on a vacation, so thinking about the constant transitions that we’re dealing with in life and how do we navigate those, whether they’re huge, major, major life stressors and traumas were there. These, you know, everyday changes that we need to adapt to. So to me in between is just how do you make the transition?

00;06;16;13 – 00;06;19;14
Krista Klein
How do you make the move from one state to another? Obviously.

00;06;19;16 – 00;06;37;06
Dr. Mona
Oh, I love it. And I love that you’re not just talking about those big life transitions. Of course, that’s what we always think about, right? Maternity leave, becoming a mother. You know, maybe a move, maybe, separation. And I mean, there’s those are the things that I think we all put in our forefront of. Oh, yeah, those are big things that by nature, yeah, those are going to be stressful.

00;06;37;06 – 00;06;57;04
Dr. Mona
But like you said beautifully, that, you know, being the shift, right, being pulled in many different directions if you’re at work and then your child is sick and you get that phone call from the school, you know, like having to now say, okay, I have to now clear my schedule or put things aside and go handle that, or you just never know.

00;06;57;04 – 00;07;15;22
Dr. Mona
And life is just this, right? I mean, it is always going to be unpredictable. And so I’m loving that we can have this conversation so that we can hopefully help people who are tuning in. Tell us more about your Snap to Impact framework. Obviously this is kind of the the core of what we’re going to talk about to tell me more about this.

00;07;15;25 – 00;07;36;29
Krista Klein
So, it’s a little cheesy, but a snap, making change a little bit easier and then being able to make an impact. So for me, five step process that came out in my dissertation research and then aligned with all of the professional work that I’ve been doing with women who return from work, who returned to work from maternity leave, paid work.

00;07;37;01 – 00;08;11;11
Krista Klein
And, I noticed kind of these common themes, which is really first, self-reflection, understanding who you are in that moment and knowing that who you are in that moment is different day to day, month to month. So kind of pausing to recognize, what are you bringing to the table right now? What’s impacting you? That’s the reflection part, and is navigating uncertainty, which I mean, sounds so, so casually easy, when I say it like that, but really just kind of understanding what you can and can’t control, which is something that we’ve touched on already and recognizing that uncertainty is just going to be there.

00;08;11;11 – 00;08;52;05
Krista Klein
So how do you muddle your way through it? Yeah, and I think adapting, being able to understand what it means to change roles quickly, how to be flexible, how to understand when your mother in that moment when your caregiver maybe for a parent in the next moment when you’re a professional in another moment. So how do you adapt to those, those roles and then the processing really grief, burnout, trauma, stress, whatever you’re dealing with and helping you negotiate and navigate the different layers of all of that, then eventually impact is how do you actually share with others how you’ve been able to process?

00;08;52;05 – 00;09;04;21
Krista Klein
How do you make an impact, which folks in my dissertation really found that to be really important for their journey is to give them a sense of meaning and how they can commit to serving other people, too.

00;09;04;23 – 00;09;21;23
Dr. Mona
I love it, and is there any part of that that we want to dive into? I mean, obviously there’s so much that we can, elaborate on, I think, yeah, I think the self-reflection to me, I think is self-explanatory. But if you want to dive deeper into what that would look like for someone and what you think a lot of people may be missing in self-reflection.

00;09;21;25 – 00;09;48;27
Krista Klein
Yeah. So I think, I talk a lot about identity, right? And recognizing how you bring yourself into a certain space. So for myself, I am clearly presenting as a white woman, but I have these kind of mental health struggles, these challenges that are really, truly part of who I am. And I’m I feel like that’s a significant thing that people can think about is what are you bringing in that moment?

00;09;49;00 – 00;10;08;15
Krista Klein
Are you highly elevated in your stress levels at that moment? Is that something that you’re bringing into this transition? Are you grieving, you know, is that something you’re bringing into a change or a transition in addition to just kind of generally like, oh, well, I’m mother, I’m a professional worker. So like thinking a little bit about what’s your state at that moment?

00;10;08;18 – 00;10;14;00
Krista Klein
What are you carrying at that moment, you know, did you not sleep well, etc. are all parts of that?

00;10;14;02 – 00;10;32;26
Dr. Mona
Now let’s take a break to hear from our sponsors. And then in terms of that, navigating uncertainty. So of course that is a easier said than done. But what would be like a tip for you? And I love this because you also have dealt with this yourself, right? I mean, this is not just like from your own education, but this is a personal impact.

00;10;32;26 – 00;10;39;15
Dr. Mona
So maybe adding or tying in a personal, you know, anecdote or whatever you will, about how we can navigate that uncertainty.

00;10;39;17 – 00;11;01;15
Krista Klein
Yeah. Of course. So I mean, I talks about how much I love control. So any uncertainty for me is really scary. And the best thing that I’ve found, and I’ll give the example of, when my daughter was born, we did not have a traumatic birth experience, but she was turning blue basically in the first, you know, eight hours and was rushed to the NICU.

00;11;01;15 – 00;11;07;26
Krista Klein
And the doctor had told me at that moment, she’s either in sepsis or she’s fine. And so that’s.

00;11;07;29 – 00;11;17;07
Dr. Mona
That’s a great thing for someone who loves control. Yes, I yeah, especially, you know, as a physician, I’m sure that was like, well, what does that even mean?

00;11;17;09 – 00;11;37;03
Krista Klein
Yeah. And I think, you know, we all go through these types of experiences where we’re like, either the world is crashing down or everything is fine. And, to me, I mean, I was not after having just given birth, I was not in the headspace to, like, navigate this process with any real clarity. So like kind of just in survival mode at that, at that point.

00;11;37;06 – 00;11;58;14
Krista Klein
But thinking about similar situations now, what can I control at that moment? I can control how I care for myself. How I manage my relationship with my family. Like, I really didn’t want to talk to my family at that point, so I had to set a boundary at some point that I did not want to have that conversation.

00;11;58;14 – 00;12;17;02
Krista Klein
I did not want to post on social media that my daughter was born. You know, there were things that I think, I just had to make those decisions like, these are things I can control in this moment. And so it gave me a little bit more of a sense of confidence that everything might be okay, because I was able to pinpoint those small things that I could control at that time.

00;12;17;04 – 00;12;36;23
Dr. Mona
Oh, I resonate so deeply with that. You know, I had the same similar experience of a traumatic, well, tragic birth, but a child who was blue when they were born. I that same feeling of wanting to not share photos or even talk to anybody. And I like that we’re discussing that because, you know, like you said, that’s kind of self-reflection, right?

00;12;36;23 – 00;12;53;23
Dr. Mona
You’re in that moment. You’re kind of realizing right now, what I need is not to socialize and share. Maybe in two weeks, three weeks, I’ll be ready. Right. But that takes a lot of self-reflection and self insight that you already had mentioned. And then the, you know, to be able to better navigate that sort of I don’t know what’s going to happen.

00;12;53;23 – 00;13;10;21
Dr. Mona
And, you know, for me, I the reason I resonate with that is that because I didn’t know what was going to happen with my son medically, I didn’t want to have more people asking questions, talking about it. Okay, well, this is going to be like this. And I know, be strong and, you know, oh, just pray or do this.

00;13;10;21 – 00;13;32;22
Dr. Mona
And I’m like, listen, I know all of this to be true, but I need to focus on myself, my child right now. And so, like you said, that navigating the uncertainty by having that self-reflection, I love that you’re already adding, that’s in the end of the snap, you know, framework, because it’s already it makes a lot of sense, you know, and it’s a form of for me, it was a form of self-protection.

00;13;32;25 – 00;13;51;17
Dr. Mona
And also, you know, finally I was ready to share those photos and share my story, like you. But it it’s such a personal choice, and I wish more people would listen to this episode. And also understand that perspective. Maybe if someone is going through a minor or major life transition and they’re needing some space at that moment, you know.

00;13;51;21 – 00;13;51;29
Dr. Mona
Yeah.

00;13;51;29 – 00;14;08;12
Krista Klein
And I find that I sometimes feel like I have to make excuses for that, like, oh, I’m really busy right now. So I’m sorry that I won’t answer your text message because I also am sometimes like, well, why didn’t that person answer me? And yeah, I don’t take I don’t take the time to kind of empathize and think about what someone else might be going through too.

00;14;08;12 – 00;14;10;24
Krista Klein
So it’s always a good reminder to talk about that too.

00;14;10;27 – 00;14;24;21
Dr. Mona
Yeah. And in terms of, you know, the A of the Snap framework, the adapting to the changing role. So maybe using the example of going to, you know, being a mom postpartum and then going to maternity leave, how can we kind of apply that to that scenario.

00;14;24;24 – 00;14;43;23
Krista Klein
Yeah. So I it felt like for me in particular, my very first Mother’s Day, my daughter was, I think, almost six months old, and I was crying a lot because I didn’t want to celebrate Mother’s Day. I didn’t feel like a mother. I didn’t I didn’t understand what that identity meant. And, you know, that’s when she was six months old.

00;14;43;23 – 00;15;09;25
Krista Klein
So I kind of started thinking like, this is it’s been a while. Yeah. So this isn’t like baby blues. This isn’t just hormones. There’s, like, something else going on here. And recognizing the the fact that we celebrate caregiving and motherhood in very specific ways. Like sister site societally, I guess, in our society, you know, I just wanted to be alone, and I just wanted to, like, be who I was before becoming a mother.

00;15;09;25 – 00;15;35;22
Krista Klein
And so really had to kind of think through, okay, how do I adapt to this situation? What can I do to give myself space? And I was not I well, I was also younger. I was in my early, early 30s and I felt like developmentally, I just wasn’t totally prepared for how to navigate that. So now at my age, when things like this come up, I’m trying to be better about how do I set those boundaries, how do I be clear about what I want?

00;15;35;24 – 00;15;44;19
Krista Klein
And now on Mother’s Day to say, like, you know what I’m going to do? I’m going to go have brunch with my friends. I don’t really want to have breakfast in bed, like, see you later and be okay with that.

00;15;44;21 – 00;16;14;28
Dr. Mona
Yeah. And adapting to again, going back to that self-reflection of what is it that I want? Here’s how I’m adapting to this new role. And I love that you share that story about Mother’s Day. I felt the same way. I think my son was actually maybe five for five months. And, after a traumatic birth, it was very hard for me to just want to enjoy because there’s a lot of self-reflection that I was still processing and a lot of like trauma that I was still processing from that experience that didn’t allow me to have full peace in that enjoyment of celebrating the journey.

00;16;15;01 – 00;16;32;26
Dr. Mona
And even on his first birthday, there was a lot of mixed feelings, right? Grateful for him to be where he was at, but also reflection of, well, we went through the hardest year I’ve ever experienced, and not just because I was a mom, but because of all that other trauma physical, emotional, all of that. And so I love that.

00;16;32;26 – 00;16;50;06
Dr. Mona
Love learning to adapt to that ever changing role and in the work that you do and, you know, the presentations you’ve made across the country, do you find that what is the I guess, the hardest thing about women learning to adapt to that changing role? Like, why do they struggle so much with that new identity in your opinion?

00;16;50;06 – 00;17;09;29
Krista Klein
So in my opinion and in the feedback that I’ve gotten, so kind of collectively with the data that I’ve received, a lot of it just has to do with larger expectations that are placed on us as women. That it’s supposed to be natural to become a mother, that it’s just part of what we’re kind of built to do.

00;17;09;29 – 00;17;33;19
Krista Klein
And, I think just there’s a lot of pressure and the roles that are prescribed to us. Right. Like there’s a role as a woman that’s already prescribed to you versus a role that you choose. So thinking about how do I identify how do I define being a mother? And that to me came up a lot. It’s just like, what are the pressures on us to operate in a certain way?

00;17;33;19 – 00;17;48;01
Krista Klein
And everyone says, you know, congratulations when you have a baby and like, are so excited or when you’re pregnant. And then I’m like, well, I when I got my PhD was, we’re so excited. But it was totally different. So the expectations, what’s celebrated is totally different.

00;17;48;03 – 00;18;12;20
Dr. Mona
Oh yeah, I mean, I’m I think it’s just pan cultural but marriage get to have get get married, have the baby get a house. I mean that was what is ingrained obviously. You know, me becoming a physician. You becoming a PhD doctor as well. There was obviously some oh great. Awesome. But there definitely was more like, well, that’s great that you’re a doctor, but like, you know, we got to find someone for you to get married to and have the kid.

00;18;12;20 – 00;18;29;03
Dr. Mona
And like you said, that expectation of like, well, I got to be great at this and I got to be great at this. And that can really lead to a lot of friction, you know, and, and feelings. And I appreciate you bringing that up. And then that p in the Snap framework, the processing of the stress, the burnout and the trauma.

00;18;29;05 – 00;18;48;21
Dr. Mona
Obviously this is a loaded process. And I know you also went through that. And you had alluded to the fact that you didn’t experience a traumatic birth, quote, unquote. But you did have a I would say, like, you know, seeing your child blue is not an easy experience. So where, you know, would have found where would a person begin in sort of that processing journey and why is that important?

00;18;48;23 – 00;19;25;11
Krista Klein
So I love thinking about this. And, and one of my, faculty colleagues really helped me understand the difference between stress, burnout and trauma. And really looking at how the lowercase t traumas that we experience in our lives build up over time, even the pandemic being something that we’ve collectively experienced, that everyone has experienced some kind of trauma and, all the other things just kind of build up along the way to me, all of those things adding up were the same as experiencing like a major trauma, like the loss of a parent.

00;19;25;11 – 00;19;28;10
Krista Klein
My father passed away last year, so that was like a major.

00;19;28;12 – 00;19;29;08
Dr. Mona

00;19;29;11 – 00;19;50;04
Krista Klein
Oh. Thank you. That was like a major trauma that people kind of consider. This is a big deal. But I had felt like so much trauma. Even in just his health journey. There were so many small things that came up along the way. That made it almost easier to deal with the major challenge because it’s just a constant process.

00;19;50;04 – 00;20;17;26
Krista Klein
So to me, that was really important to understand that we’re all experiencing the lowercase t traumas, and that builds up in us over time. And then it has this kind of physical effect on our bodies. So my last kind of major lesson in this, which I’m still learning, is that I had I have I have moderate kidney damage from I believe that is connected to some of the stressful experiences that I’ve had in the way that I have not coped to take care of myself.

00;20;17;26 – 00;20;41;23
Krista Klein
So I have my physical health, my stress levels, my blood pressure. So my blood pressure was chronically high. I think that contributed to some of the other health issues that I had. But kind of really all of this coming to a head and saying, I really need to adapt to the way I operate on a daily basis so that I’m ready for the stressful situations and not just when they’re stressed.

00;20;41;23 – 00;20;47;06
Krista Klein
I need to cope with it. It’s that every single day I have to practice. How am I going to cope with stress?

00;20;47;08 – 00;21;07;10
Dr. Mona
Yeah, I mean, because like you said, it’s it’s the big examples, but also the little, the little things that seem little, the not even little teeth, but just the day to day inconveniences that we may sometimes call, you know, the again, if you’re so used to having things are routine control and anything that disrupts that routine and control can feel overwhelming.

00;21;07;14 – 00;21;30;29
Dr. Mona
And I use the example, you know, you brought up that I went from vacation mode to coming back into work. You know, I was really struggling because it was a week. Not only was it a week of vacation, but it was a real vacation and the first real vacation, meaning no children were there. So having to make no decisions about another human being for four days and then only about myself, wake up when I want.

00;21;30;29 – 00;21;46;04
Dr. Mona
I mean, it sounds like an amazing experience because it was. And then the switch the next day to have to take care of the kids and be like, wait, what? You need three meals a day and I gotta figure out what those meals are. And I got to figure out, you know, putting you down for a nap and, you know, routine and schedule.

00;21;46;04 – 00;22;06;13
Dr. Mona
So that transition, although it was not obviously by any means traumatic or anything, it was a transition that was a little bit of like, wow, well, this is a this is a, an event. And so I think I relate to you because I struggle a lot with that. You know, the I’m doing so much better work of like trying to manage that, you know, stress and burnout and all that trauma.

00;22;06;19 – 00;22;23;21
Dr. Mona
But that day to day stress, right. The things that that shouldn’t really have bothered me. But it does. And recognizing that and saying, well, here it is, I’m feeling this way. How do I get to a point where I don’t want to keep feeling this way when life keeps throwing me these small inconveniences, like the internet going out?

00;22;23;24 – 00;22;44;12
Dr. Mona
You know, I know some people listening to this will be like, big deal. But for me, having come back from a week away, having a gazillion things to do for work and the internet, being out in my house was like meltdown mode. And I share that honestly and transparently because like you did it, it sounds a little it sounds like a huge first world problem, if you will.

00;22;44;18 – 00;23;01;02
Dr. Mona
But it is a reality. And I know so many women relate to that, sort of like the little thing all of a sudden triggering them, you know, like that it wasn’t just the internet, it was a accumulation of a lot of different things that led up to that internet issue. And that was just the final straw, if you will.

00;23;01;04 – 00;23;04;27
Dr. Mona
Now let’s take a break to hear from our sponsors.

00;23;04;29 – 00;23;22;28
Krista Klein
Yeah. I mean, I can imagine for myself at least I was I was away for a few days also. But I have this experience of I asked three people to take on a task that I knew I wasn’t going to have the bandwidth to do. Yeah, when or when I came back and none of them did it. Oh gosh.

00;23;23;01 – 00;23;24;08
Dr. Mona
Yeah. You’re like, why?

00;23;24;08 – 00;23;45;17
Krista Klein
Yeah. Like I control boundaries, right? I was like, I know I’m going to do this. I’m going to delegate this, what everyone tells you to do. And I, like you said I was really triggered by that and had to take a while, maybe 20 minutes to, like, do some breathing and do some kind of recalibrating to think, okay, I can’t control that.

00;23;45;17 – 00;24;03;08
Krista Klein
They didn’t do that. But what can I control? I don’t need to answer all 80 of those emails that didn’t get answered, but I can do three a day. Yeah, hopefully I can go and talk to them when I get back to the office. But without processing that, I can just go into the office and feel like I’m on fire.

00;24;03;10 – 00;24;21;09
Krista Klein
Everything’s on fire, you know? And I have operated in a chronic stress for decades, so to say. My anxiety is always a seven out of ten, like as a joke and not realizing that that’s actually really unhealthy. So figuring that out and like developing some tools to, to do that has, has made a big impact.

00;24;21;11 – 00;24;56;28
Dr. Mona
So I think that is such a key message to the entire conversation that we’ve had already. Is that sort of insight into not just and not just saying and putting under the, brushing it under the rug that, oh, it’s just what it is, right? Like I’m anxious, the seven out of ten. I also have lived with anxiety for a long time, and it wasn’t until the last four years, especially the last, I would say six months, that I’ve actually proactively tried to really help unlock a lot of those systems that have caused me to have anxiety, and that’s through therapy, you know, and I know, you know, I’ve spoken a lot about therapy

00;24;56;28 – 00;25;15;03
Dr. Mona
on this show, in type in personal episodes, but also with other guests and how important it was for me to find that right therapist to help unlock a lot of that sort of, why am I like this? Why does change? Why is change so hard for me? Why do I deal with perfectionism and people pleasing and all of that?

00;25;15;03 – 00;25;37;17
Dr. Mona
Because that can come from somewhere. And I think to your point, it can really help in that sort of processing of stress, burnout and trauma. And I think many women don’t realize something that is probably in their system and hold it being held on physically. You said like you were holding on to a lot of that stress and it manifested as kidney problems for you.

00;25;37;20 – 00;25;56;11
Dr. Mona
I don’t think people realize it until it actually becomes something serious. And so I love that you brought that up because, yeah, like I was waking up with palpitations and I’m like, oh, this is normal. This is anxiety. Like, if it’s not anxiety, I got to go see a cardiologist, right? Like, right. Listen to your body and listen to what your body and your mind is telling you.

00;25;56;11 – 00;26;03;00
Dr. Mona
And don’t brush it under the rug and say, well, this is just motherhood because it’s right. You have to be that way, you know?

00;26;03;02 – 00;26;11;16
Krista Klein
Yeah. Or the that like Instagram post that says, you know, I’ll get back to you when things slow down. Saying that until you die.

00;26;11;19 – 00;26;13;01
Dr. Mona
Yes.

00;26;13;04 – 00;26;33;08
Krista Klein
And recognizing that it is possible to slow things down even when everything around you is chaos to like, make time for specific things. But it’s a long process, and it’s a long journey and it’s constant, and it can be tiring to be constantly working on that, but it makes it just have so much pay off in the long run.

00;26;33;08 – 00;26;34;04
Krista Klein
I find.

00;26;34;07 – 00;26;45;00
Dr. Mona
And part of that snap to impact framework, obviously one of the portions of it isn’t making an impact. What does that mean to you in terms of after we’ve kind of gone through the snap, what does that mean to impact?

00;26;45;02 – 00;27;09;10
Krista Klein
So to me it’s about how do I take kind of the lessons that I’ve learned in change in my own experience? And of course, we have you and I have similarities, but we also have very different experiences. Yeah. And be able to share that, which is why I appreciate what you do so much. So being open, kind of taking stigma out of things and sharing what works for me, knowing that that may not work necessarily for someone else.

00;27;09;10 – 00;27;27;07
Krista Klein
So what does a healing process look like? For me, I do a lot of like brain retraining and like nervous system work. So a lot of kind of breath work and meditation, but combining lots of things, knowing that just meditation did not work for me or doing that, you know, I exercise a lot that didn’t necessarily just do it for me either.

00;27;27;07 – 00;27;46;22
Krista Klein
It’s a combination of a lot of things. So to be able to share my experience, but also acknowledge that this is a process and this can be hard that that I’m not. I found the solution and it’s all solved. And everything is great like that. I, I hesitate when people share things that work for them and act as though it’s the solution for everyone.

00;27;46;24 – 00;27;58;05
Krista Klein
Yeah, but just giving a little bit of nuance to, you know, this actually did help me. So you can explore it, not explore it, but it gives you another tool to think about.

00;27;58;07 – 00;28;22;24
Dr. Mona
Oh, I, I love it. I, I’m so grateful. Thank you so much for talking about my platform. And I, I really appreciate that because it’s my platform. I know people get a lot of information from my platform and they feel supported, but I don’t think people truly understand how much the platform has helped me process a lot of that not so great stuff that’s happened in the last four years, with bird trauma, IVF being its own grief and, traumatic experience.

00;28;22;29 – 00;28;43;08
Dr. Mona
And just by talking about it, seeing someone say, wow, no one ever talked about it like this, or I’ve never felt, you know, I felt so alone. And now I feel seen. I’m like, wow, I feel better. And even my therapist, you know, when I talk to my therapist, she’s like, you seem great. I’m like, yes. Telling stories and connecting over shared experiences.

00;28;43;08 – 00;29;03;23
Dr. Mona
You know, I think so much of the time we feel this sort of, you know, isolation and motherhood that I’m the only one dealing with this. And although, like you brought up beautifully, although we may go through very different experiences, the unifying feel is that we all want connection. We all want to be seen. You know, we all want that sort of that, that sort of feeling.

00;29;03;23 – 00;29;18;16
Dr. Mona
Even if our experiences are different and we all want to feel peace, I think. I don’t think any single mom listening or dad listening or caregiver wants to feel stressed and anxious and worried all the time. I think we all crave peace. I know I do, you know we and.

00;29;18;16 – 00;29;19;26
Krista Klein
We deserve it. We deserve.

00;29;19;26 – 00;29;42;09
Dr. Mona
This. Yeah. And it’s possible. You know, I think the beautiful thing is I, you know, being a pediatrician, I’ve seen so many different families come through my door. Right? I see families who have, you know, lower socioeconomic status, multiple children. Mom is working for jobs. I see the higher socioeconomic mom, one child, super overwhelmed. I see all of these people coming into my office.

00;29;42;16 – 00;30;03;05
Dr. Mona
And it’s always interesting to me that there is no equation of like check box of happiness, right? I really do believe it’s internal work. It’s internal work of understanding. Here are my resources. Here is what the cards I have in my hand. How am I going to use the framework that you mentioned? Right. The self-reflection, navigating uncertainty, adapting to changing roles, a processing stress.

00;30;03;09 – 00;30;17;10
Dr. Mona
How are we going to use all of that with what I have right now to bring more joy? And so I think it’s such a beautiful process. I think it’s possible. And I think it’s work that seems hard because it is. And I think that’s important that people realize.

00;30;17;12 – 00;30;37;04
Krista Klein
Yeah. And I think, you know, there are different stages in your life, right? You’re and and there are folks in certain circumstances that this is going to be a lot harder. And, you know, acknowledging the privilege that I have to have the space to have the time to be able to, make time for these types of conversations, to make time for that work.

00;30;37;06 – 00;30;57;02
Krista Klein
Is is key. And I know that that’s not necessarily possible for everyone on a larger scale, but there are still small things. Yes. I think, like you said, that everyone can kind of do to bring some kind of joy, to their life or to their experience. So I appreciate you kind of giving a perspective of lots of different, families and what that looks like for different people.

00;30;57;09 – 00;31;14;14
Dr. Mona
Yeah. I mean, anytime I get a mom in my office that in my perception, right? Of course, this is a perception. Like, wow, you got a lot on your plate. And she seems so together. Meaning so calm, so confident. I ask her what her? I always like to chat with women about their secret. Or like why? You know, how are you doing?

00;31;14;14 – 00;31;32;22
Dr. Mona
Like and you know, a lot of them. A lot of the words that I get back is a mentality of, I just have learned that life will always throw me something, and I’m just going to learn to adapt. And it’s exactly what you said, right? It’s the ability to adapt and to, you know, be able to say, I know it’s not always going to be easy.

00;31;32;24 – 00;31;49;03
Dr. Mona
Like, I know my life is hard and I, I think you and I have been through those experiences. I went through three and a half years, I would say a very difficult time. And that was my first three and a half years of motherhood. Right. And I mean, you look back at it and you’re like, wow, I feel I could say to myself, oh, I feel robbed or I, you know, did it.

00;31;49;06 – 00;32;12;13
Dr. Mona
But that doesn’t change the fact that it happened. And I need to move forward. Right. So it is a, a mindset at that point that, yeah, that time was hard. But now at this moment, it’s okay. And let’s celebrate the difficult time, but also celebrate equally when you get out of those moments that were so difficult and you’ve reached the other side of that life transition, I think it’s such a beautiful moment when you finally look back and be like, I did that.

00;32;12;16 – 00;32;20;06
Dr. Mona
I went back to work, I became a mom, my child finally sleeping through the night. Whatever it is that you’re celebrating, you know? Yeah. It’s such a beautiful thing.

00;32;20;09 – 00;32;39;09
Krista Klein
Yeah. Celebrating and then not celebrating alone. Right. So the last kind of piece of the impact to me is finding the community wherever you can find it. I found my daughters now in kindergarten. And so now that we’re in the school system in our neighborhood, I found it a lot easier to meet other parents. And so that’s been really impactful for me.

00;32;39;09 – 00;32;59;09
Krista Klein
This year. But in the first, like you said, kind of three ish, three and a half years plus the pandemic being in there, just very isolating and knowing that historically, evolutionarily, we’re not meant to do this alone. So being able to celebrate that, being able to celebrate that with others, and finding support wherever you can, whatever that looks like for you is important to.

00;32;59;11 – 00;33;06;25
Dr. Mona
Well, Krista, this is an amazing conversation. You provided so many pearls already, but what would be your final message for everyone tuning in today?

00;33;06;28 – 00;33;35;00
Krista Klein
I feel like my final message would really be to take yourself and your needs very seriously, whether that’s physically in your body, mentally, in your mind, emotionally, and really translate that into action. So it’s really that the crux of all of this is self-reflection, what’s really going on with you. And then what is one small thing in three minutes that you can do?

00;33;35;02 – 00;33;55;08
Krista Klein
Today to adapt to that, and then the next day might be something different. So to me it’s it’s drilling it down rather than getting overwhelmed by all that we’ve talked about and doing it on a regular day, a day that that’s not a day when you’re in crisis. So just finding a couple of minutes to figure out where are you at, pausing.

00;33;55;10 – 00;34;08;29
Krista Klein
What’s going on and then taking some kind of action. Even if it’s before sending an email, if it’s before, you know, playing Barbies for an hour, like, where are you at? And can you what can you manage at that moment?

00;34;09;02 – 00;34;26;24
Dr. Mona
Well, as an account that does a lot of parenting stuff, how much does that apply to children? Right. You said no, not in a moment where you’re in chaos or, you know, obviously same thing with like kids, right? Like we tend to want to fix things in dysregulated modes, but you got to get yourself regulated, just like we talk about with our children, with ourselves too.

00;34;26;25 – 00;34;38;29
Dr. Mona
You cannot have that self shame. You can’t get into that whole cycle and you got to be kinder to yourself. Who said this was amazing? Where can people learn more about you and the work that you’re doing, and more about the Snap to Impact framework as well?

00;34;39;02 – 00;35;02;26
Krista Klein
So I have a website. It’s doctor Christa klein.com. I have free resources on there and there’s ways for folks to connect with me directly. I also share, I have, my Instagram account doctor Christa Klein, and I have LinkedIn where I post pretty quick online kind of long form almost blog posts. And you can find me, Christa Klein on LinkedIn as well.

00;35;02;29 – 00;35;11;06
Krista Klein
So really anything doctor Christa Klein, typically you can find me, but starting with the website, you’ll get to everything else. Wonderful. Yeah.

00;35;11;09 – 00;35;26;21
Dr. Mona
Wonderful. Well, thank you so much for joining me today. This is such an amazing, enlightening conversation. And I think it’s so important for us to hear, obviously, because we all will find ourselves in these transitions if we don’t even feel like we’ve been in them already. So thank you so much for joining us.

00;35;26;27 – 00;35;30;24
Krista Klein
Yeah. Thank you for having me. It’s been great. Wonderful. Love talking to you.

00;35;30;27 – 00;35;55;17
Dr. Mona
Change is inevitable, and my goal is for you to support the kids in your life through changes that they go through, but also be able to manage change yourself. That’s why I enjoyed having Christa on to chat about transitions. Whether you’re sending your child to school right now or going through a change in your life, if you love this conversation, make sure to leave a review, share it on social media, and comment on our reel that debuted on the same day as this episode, and make sure you check out the reel for a giveaway!

00;35;55;17 – 00;36;13;25
Dr. Mona
For a chance to win a customized plan from Christa as well as a shock course of your choosing. Thanks for joining me and I cannot wait to chat with you all next week, where I welcome Doctor Sujay and Sagara to talk about sleep training, evidence, what it does and doesn’t say it’s a good one with one of my favorite sleep docs out there.

00;36;13;25 – 00;36;15;28
Dr. Mona
Catch you all next time and stay well.