When is screen-time okay and what’s the deal with co-viewing.

I think screens can be used as medium of play when you are co-viewing with your child.

I do ask you avoid screen-time before one year of age to foster normal child development. Listen in on when I think it’s reasonable after one year.

In this episode I go over:

• Current screen-time recommendations from the AAP
• How to make common sense rules for your family (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zugBuwgLgcc&t=34s)
• What is co-viewing
• How to use the right programming
• Tips on co-viewing

And so much more!

Further reading:

• https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/23544859/
• https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/BF02768893

00;00;01;04 – 00;00;09;12

Dr. Mona

Welcome to Monday Mornings with Doctor Mona, where each week I answer your questions.

 

00;00;09;15 – 00;00;35;26

Mom

Hi Doctor Mona, I recently saw your post about cowatching, videos on TV and YouTube, whatever it may be, with, Ryaan. And I was curious about how you do that. Tips and tricks. I have two sons. One is three and a half months and one is 19 months old. And, you know, the little one gets exposed to a lot of TV because of his older brother.

 

00;00;35;26 – 00;00;57;03

Mom

And I would love to co watch with him and find out, you know, what things we should be saying, what things we should be pointing out, what to look for in things to co watch rather than just mindlessly letting him watch. So hopefully you can answer this question. And I really look forward to hearing what you have to say.

 

00;00;57;04 – 00;00;58;09

Mom

Thank you.

 

00;00;58;12 – 00;01;29;06

Dr. Mona

Hello. Thank you for this question. I love talking about child development. I actually love talking about screen time because who doesn’t love a good television show? And I also just really like talking about co viewing or co watching. It is one of my favorite developmental activities which involves screen time. I know, I’m sure you’re pretty shocked to hear that, but it allows you to diversify play but also promotes development if you do it right.

 

00;01;29;08 – 00;01;55;15

Dr. Mona

So sometimes parents will say, well what’s the point of sitting with my child and cowatching if I want to do other things? You can still use screen time and have it be solo, where they are watching the screen on their own and you are in the room, or you know, if they’re older, fine, they’re on their own. But I will go over tips on how to incorporate co watching even after you allow them to do solo watching.

 

00;01;55;18 – 00;02;19;28

Dr. Mona

So you’re going to get a few different tips in this. And we actually started co viewing our cowatching with our son Ryan at around 14 months. Now the app recommendations say that for screen time avoid under 18 months only use it for video chatting with family between 18 months to two years. You want to keep it very minimally, so ideally no more than an hour.

 

00;02;19;28 – 00;02;41;17

Dr. Mona

But they just say minimally, with co watching preferred for two years to five years, one hour a day ideally co watching, you’ll hear that come up a lot. And over five years old parents decide on how many hours but balanced sleep exercise, household chores keep healthy boundaries with no screens in the bedroom, no screens at the dining table.

 

00;02;41;21 – 00;03;11;22

Dr. Mona

Other healthy boundaries which I actually think are important for younger children as well. So we started introducing it, like I said, around 14 months, and it was a balance between understanding his development and also using cowatching. So by 14 months, Ryan was showing signs of words. He had about three words by then, but he was also showing joint attention, the ability to get our attention by pointing, and also when we were looking at activities or things, he would also want to look at the same things if we directed him to that.

 

00;03;11;24 – 00;03;33;25

Dr. Mona

So because of his development, we decided to do some cowatching earlier. And like I said, you know, this is before the 18 month recommendation from the app. This is what we decided to do. Balancing his development and also the recommendations. And I encourage more parents to do that. So when you get recommendations on development or anything with your child, you can look at your resources and say, does this make sense?

 

00;03;33;28 – 00;03;51;24

Dr. Mona

Is this something that we can do? How can I balance this with other activities or, engaging things that I do with my child? My YouTube channel, pizza TalkTalk TV has an entire episode on screen time where I discuss how to create common sense rules. I don’t talk about confusing, which is why I wanted to do a podcast episode today about it.

 

00;03;51;26 – 00;04;08;21

Dr. Mona

So what is co viewing or cowatching and why does it matter? I’m going to refer to this as co viewing from here on out. So first it helps us see and hear what our children are seeing and hearing. So television and movies provide our children with a lot of information stimulation. If you want to use that word. Some is real some is not.

 

00;04;08;24 – 00;04;26;05

Dr. Mona

So deciding on what you’re choosing to show your child is really important. And I will try to create a list of shows that I really like, but really it comes down to how are you engaging with your child? I don’t like things with violence. I like things that teach kindness. These are my favorite types of things in programing for children.

 

00;04;26;07 – 00;04;45;00

Dr. Mona

Images on the screen can also bring out really strong feelings. When we watch a TV show or a movie with our child, we can ask them questions to help think about what they may be seeing and learning so it doesn’t just settle with them. It actually can be something that they can process. We can also help them make connections to what they learn at home or in school.

 

00;04;45;03 – 00;05;04;26

Dr. Mona

So if they’re in daycare or even a regular school, for example, if you’re watching a show with animals in it, you can ask your child which animals are in the book that they love that they may have read. What sound does the animal make? I know we feel like we may not use this later in life, but it’s actually a great way to connect what they’re seeing to language.

 

00;05;04;29 – 00;05;22;17

Dr. Mona

If you have stuffed animals in your home, or those animals that are being portrayed in the television and show, you can have them go grab it. So sometimes we’ll be watching Cocomelon, for example, and a duck will come on and I’ll say, Ryan, go get your duck. And he has a duck in the play area. So go get his dog and bring it back and go quack, quack, quack.

 

00;05;22;24 – 00;05;39;12

Dr. Mona

Or we’ll see a teddy bear, and he’ll grab his teddy bear and say, Bucky and bring his teddy bear back. So not only is that providing language development, it also is providing some cognitive development for them to match what they’re seeing on a TV show to what they’re doing in real life and how the world works. It can also teach lessons.

 

00;05;39;12 – 00;05;54;20

Dr. Mona

So if you’re watching a show where somebody is hurt, you discuss that with them. You can use the TV as a medium for play. So when parents say, hey, it’s not really giving me free time, you don’t have to come up with the play idea. You’re just sitting with your child. Like, I mean, that to me is a break.

 

00;05;54;20 – 00;06;11;10

Dr. Mona

Sometimes I just want to sit. Sometimes I don’t want to be on the ground. I don’t want to go for a walk. I just want to sit. So you’re now being able to sit and connect with them with a TV show that they love. It can also support early literacy skills and boost empathy and even help emotions after scary scenes that may occur.

 

00;06;11;10 – 00;06;38;22

Dr. Mona

And I’ll touch these links to my show notes from these articles about how cowatching can be beneficial for literacy development, as well as empathy. When you ask children to name letters and things that they’re seeing, it’s more likely to stick. This is the principle of joint attention. Joint attention is so great for language development. Joint attention is when they notice something in their environment, or you notice something in your environment, and you both are connecting with each other.

 

00;06;38;24 – 00;06;58;24

Dr. Mona

So by noticing at something on a TV show and you bring out something that’s on that TV show, you are now pointing it out to them and they can say the word, the letter, the animal sound, whatever you want to teach them. And it’s more likely going to stick in their language vocabulary than if you just kept repeating and repeating the word.

 

00;06;58;27 – 00;07;18;24

Dr. Mona

The goal is for them to connect their surroundings with the word coming out of their mouth for it to stick. That is why cognitive development is so vital, and it’s one of my favorite domains of development to discuss cognitive development is that ability to understand the world and how it works, but it also is an important foundation to develop language skills.

 

00;07;18;26 – 00;07;38;11

Dr. Mona

If they see something that interests them and they want to express the word for what that is, they’re more likely to have the impetus to do so. If it’s something that’s interesting and that’s something that’s interesting, could be something on a TV show or movie. So now to decide what shows to choose. Ideally, choose a children’s programing that doesn’t annoy you.

 

00;07;38;11 – 00;07;53;26

Dr. Mona

So if you find it annoying, you’re less likely to want to engage with it. So I know so many parents who hate cocomelon you do not need to watch cocomelon. There are tons of other shows. There’s tons of other great shows. Choose one that you like. Right now we are on a rotation. I like Cocomelon but I really like Thomas.

 

00;07;53;26 – 00;08;19;03

Dr. Mona

The train. I think the Thomas the Train teaches great skills and values about teamwork, about emotions. I love Trash Truck and then I also love Bluey. So we’ll watch these in rotation, but choose a show that you like if it’s going to be children’s programing. Also, you can choose a show that you love that is family friendly. So if you follow me on my Instagram dog talk, you know that I love Wheel of Fortune.

 

00;08;19;03 – 00;08;38;21

Dr. Mona

I think it’s actually one of the best cowatching programs that you can ever do. My goal is not to make Ryan a problem solving, puzzle solving prodigy. I don’t want him to do that. I don’t expect a two year old to know all his letters and know how it goes together to make a puzzle, but it’s to introduce the concept of letters in a show.

 

00;08;38;21 – 00;08;58;16

Dr. Mona

That’s fun for me too. And he loves it. I mean, he will call out the letter B, that’s his favorite letter B, B and then he’ll say c r. He’ll repeat the things that he’s saying and seeing on the show, and it’s a social and emotional connection. It’s a bond that we’re creating. Remember, cowatching does a few things here.

 

00;08;58;19 – 00;09;18;18

Dr. Mona

Not only is it building a social emotional bond, which is so great, it’s one of the healthiest domains of development because you’re bonding together. Maybe you’re cuddling a little bit, maybe you’re together and just enjoying the time as a family. It also can help promote language development because you’re calling out things that you’re seeing and teaching them the word or asking them to say the word.

 

00;09;18;21 – 00;09;41;20

Dr. Mona

And it also builds cognitive development if you’re bridging it to things in their environment, if you’re asking them to go get the duck or show me your teddy bear, these are all things I can foster. These three major domains of development. So it’s a time to cuddle. Maybe your child doesn’t like to cuddle, but it’s a time to get together, focus your attention together, and share the experience of seeing and hearing the same thing.

 

00;09;41;23 – 00;10;08;07

Dr. Mona

Just like in story time, there was a study showing that parents who apply the techniques of high quality reading to watching videos, meaning how we engage with children when we’re reading. If we can do that with a video watching and television watching, kids can score better on comprehension and vocabulary measures. So I really think that if you can do it this right way, where you are pointing things out, allowing them to say the words or connected into the environment, it can really help.

 

00;10;08;09 – 00;10;29;21

Dr. Mona

So now what to do once you’ve chosen the show. So this will be useful at any age, but don’t expect them to ramble off responses if they’re, you know, 18 months or a little younger than 18 months. Remember the recommendation that well, under 18 months it’s really just screen time with face time. But if your child is doing well developmentally in terms of language and joint attention, you can make that decision as a family.

 

00;10;29;21 – 00;10;46;22

Dr. Mona

If you want to start cowatching and doing some screen time before the 18 month mark, I leave it up to the family to understand their child’s development. So now the first thing is you want to focus their attention. Help kids pick up the story details by verbally pointing out specific parts of what they’re watching. Let’s use Cocomelon for example.

 

00;10;46;25 – 00;11;07;03

Dr. Mona

Do you see the ducks? How many ducks are there count? You know, like they have a song that counts, but you count. Don’t just listen to them counting. Count one. Two. Right. What color the ducks. Where’s the ducks? Mommy, who is with the duck? JJ, if they’re. If you seen Cocomelon, you have a lot of toy ducks. Where are your toy ducks?

 

00;11;07;06 – 00;11;25;21

Dr. Mona

What sound does the toy duck make? Or what sound does the duck make? These are all things that you can ask. Remember, it’s not rapid fire questions. I’m just giving you examples you need to give them like a pause to allow them to respond. So an example would be what sound does the duck make? Quack quack, quack goes the duck.

 

00;11;25;24 – 00;11;48;22

Dr. Mona

So you’re giving them some time to respond. But that is how you can utilize things in the TV show or in the movie to generate response in real life. It’s also great to ask the whys and hows, who, what, when, why, where, how questions to get your kids to use new words and think through what they’re seeing. Remember cognitive development, processing, thinking about things rather than just consuming and just saying, okay, this is what it is.

 

00;11;48;24 – 00;12;08;04

Dr. Mona

Ask questions. Say who is that, J.J.? Where? Where do they live? Why are they doing what they’re doing? Where is their mom? Where is their dad? If you have a dad or if you’re watching a programing with the same sex couple, whatever you are doing, you want to ask them those open ended questions that are not just yes or no questions.

 

00;12;08;06 – 00;12;25;03

Dr. Mona

If they’re younger, like 18 months, even under two years, they may not respond, but as they get older, they will start to respond. So these are all things that you can use even from a young age. Bring it back to real life. So just say you see a character fall in a TV show or movie or oh, he fell.

 

00;12;25;11 – 00;12;45;27

Dr. Mona

Remember when you fell and hurt your knee? You were so brave. What do you do when you get a booboo? Do you take some deep breaths? Do you breathe a little bit and then ask for a hug if you need it? Do you come to mommy? If you need it, you’re showing them resiliency and showing them how to respond to real life situations from things that you’re seeing in a TV show.

 

00;12;45;27 – 00;13;08;09

Dr. Mona

So listen, like if you’re co viewing, you’re going to get so much out of this. There’s going to be so much learning that can happen. Expand on what your kids say. So rephrase information from the show are things your kids have said back to them. Relate details to their own life, or add new information. So if they’re scared of something, you can say, oh, it doesn’t feel good to be scared, but sometimes it’s okay to be scared.

 

00;13;08;15 – 00;13;31;03

Dr. Mona

What can we do if we’re feeling scared? This is great for an older child. Like to see if your child’s over two two and a half has a, you know, more elaborate vocabulary. But remember, these are all the principles that we’re doing that you can start from an early age. So when Ryan was 14 months, it was really more of that focusing the attention and not really those open ended asking of questions, but more just pointing things out.

 

00;13;31;10 – 00;13;53;07

Dr. Mona

Look at the duck, the yellow duck, duck, duck goes quack, quack. You know, I’m using what I’m seeing in a TV show, which he’s obviously attending to. He has joint attention to build that language vocabulary. Now if you can’t cove you because I know this happens and you’re going to be busy and you’re using screen time as a way to do dishes or do something in your home and just need a break.

 

00;13;53;10 – 00;14;14;21

Dr. Mona

That’s okay. Do not stress. This is just tips to incorporate. People will ask me, well, how much should I do of cove viewing? How much should I do? If not, you will decide what works best for your family. We tend to do more cove viewing at this age because I like it for the break. I tend to do chores when Ryan is independently playing, but for you that might not be an option.

 

00;14;14;24 – 00;14;29;01

Dr. Mona

If you have multiple kids, it may not be an option, but that’s what works for our family. So if I’m watching, I may be on my laptop doing work or answering emails, but I’ll have the screen on and then I’ll chime in and I’ll say, oh, we’ll watch Thomas the Train and I’ll see the ChuChu, and I’ll say, what’s her name?

 

00;14;29;02 – 00;14;47;23

Dr. Mona

Her name is Emily. Emily’s very helpful to Thomas, you know, we’ll go through all of that and talk about the characters, and sometimes he’ll just listen and sometimes he’ll respond. But is that repetition that can help? So if you’re not cowatching, some questions you can ask after, especially if your child is older, just say like your child is three and up.

 

00;14;47;25 – 00;15;06;26

Dr. Mona

What happened in the show you watch today? What did the character do? How did it make you feel when they did that? You can insert the character’s name. Why do you like this show? What makes you feel happy about this show? What makes you feel not so good about this show? Like ask them these open ended questions. And what was your favorite part of today’s show?

 

00;15;06;28 – 00;15;23;09

Dr. Mona

So these are things that you can do at dinnertime or before bed to connect what they saw in a TV show or movie later on. If something was scary, you can say, hey, I saw that you were a little scared during that during that movie today. Why did it make you feel like that? Do you want to talk to mommy about it?

 

00;15;23;12 – 00;15;50;09

Dr. Mona

These are all things that you can do to foster resiliency and foster just development from what they’re seeing. I’m overall far less worried about the hours of screen time than I am on how we are utilizing screens, and if you’re balancing it with other developmentally enriching activities. For example, if you’re cowatching with a 19 month old for 2 to 3 hours, when the recommendation is limit to an hour, this is much better than allowing solo screen time.

 

00;15;50;11 – 00;16;09;20

Dr. Mona

This is much better than sticking them in front of the TV and never engaging with them at all. And I know a lot of you listening are not doing that. My concern with screen time is if we use it as the only medium of development, and my other concern with screen time is if we’re over utilizing it and it’s impacting their sleep, their eating, their behavior, it’s a big picture.

 

00;16;09;20 – 00;16;29;02

Dr. Mona

So if you’re utilizing it and your child still knows the boundaries and goes to bed, your child still does the chores around their house. If they’re older, if they’re doing what needs to happen to keep the family running and to keep them healthy from a developmental perspective, from high quality sleep and from, you know, eating, then you can make your rules.

 

00;16;29;08 – 00;16;51;07

Dr. Mona

It doesn’t have to be so app rules, but do remember that code viewing is something that can be very beneficial, and it is not the only way we play with our children, but it can be used in our arsenal of play to provide quality development. When we are watching something with our child that they are engaged in and we are engaged with as well.

 

00;16;51;08 – 00;17;06;05

Dr. Mona

Thank you for tuning in today. If you find this series helpful or any of my content helpful, please make sure to share it on your social media channels because that is how other people can find this resource. So thank you so much for joining us and I will talk to you next week.