On this episode I welcome Michelle, a  teacher going into her 10th year of teaching family consumer science to grades 7-12 in the Midwest. We discuss the following:

• Things we wish parents would understand
• The problem with being a “lawnmower parent”
• The importance of sleep in school-age kids
• The importance of communication with children’s teachers about concerns
• How being a pediatrician is similar to being a teacher
• Systemic problems with education and healthcare

00;00;08;23 – 00;00;29;09

Dr. Mona

Welcome to this week’s episode. I am so excited to welcome Michelle. She is a teacher and we are going to be talking about confessions of a teacher, something she wants every parent to hear, something I want every parent to hear in terms of the teacher student relationship and also the teacher parent relationship. Thank you so much for joining me today.

 

00;00;29;12 – 00;00;32;23

Michelle

Yeah, absolutely. Thanks for asking me to do this.

 

00;00;32;25 – 00;00;38;11

Dr. Mona

So tell me a little bit more about yourself, what grade you teach and also your role in the school.

 

00;00;38;13 – 00;00;51;03

Michelle

Yeah. So I am just starting my 10th year of teaching. I teach in the Midwest, and I’m actually a family consumer science teacher, so I teach all grades seven through 12.

 

00;00;51;05 – 00;00;59;05

Dr. Mona

Awesome. And, you said you been doing this for ten years. Is 7 to 12 the grade you’ve always taught, or, have you ever taught other levels?

 

00;00;59;07 – 00;01;16;23

Michelle

Nope. I have always taught that. So I see all the freshmen and then seventh grade and eighth grade, I see every quarter and then the rest of the students, they are more of an elective. So they get to pick whether they want to take kind of an additional class. If it’s something that maybe fits a future career or something they want to do.

 

00;01;16;25 – 00;01;28;16

Dr. Mona

Awesome. And, you know, first of all, the most important thing is how are you doing with Covid? I mean, we’re recording this in August of 2021. How is everything going with that? I’m sure it’s stressful figuring out rules. How are you feeling?

 

00;01;28;18 – 00;01;46;28

Michelle

Yeah, so we were lucky enough last year where I know some teachers weren’t. We actually started school last year in August, and we went the whole entire year and we never had to close, which was amazing. I know some teachers didn’t even get to go to school, so that was definitely a blessing. We were masked the whole time.

 

00;01;46;28 – 00;02;09;06

Michelle

And, you know, of course we had some small outbreaks and some students gone, and we did some in-person teaching while my iPad was rolling with kids at home. And that was hectic. So this year, yeah, we actually just started this week. So we’ve only been in school like one and a half days, and it’s a little different this year because our school is not requiring mask.

 

00;02;09;10 – 00;02;28;02

Michelle

It is optional. And our numbers are, you know, relatively low where we’re at in the Midwest, but kind of like everywhere else, they’re starting to climb. So that definitely kind of gives us that kind of that uneasy feeling again, like, I hope we’re going to stay in school, but I don’t know situation. And that’s hard.

 

00;02;28;04 – 00;02;50;02

Dr. Mona

Yeah, I mean, it’s a lot of unknowns. I mean, and I will be I was like three months ago, I was like, well this is going to be a great school year. Covid is gone. And then all of a sudden we’re like Delta. And so, I really appreciate all the work you do. You know, again, I’m just so happy that we could connect, because people kind of don’t realize how much pediatricians and teachers probably have very similar feelings on a lot of things.

 

00;02;50;17 – 00;03;07;10

Dr. Mona

You know, just, messages that we’d want to share with parents in terms of reassurance and just also our roles as a pediatrician and a teacher. I mean, I’m so grateful for you. Like I said, I just truly feel like the work of a teacher is unmatched. I think we don’t give teachers enough credit. We don’t give you guys enough pay.

 

00;03;07;10 – 00;03;32;20

Dr. Mona

I mean, there’s so many things that any work that people do with children especially, just is under valued. And I just want to thank you. What are some things? This is a very open ended question, but what are some things you wish more parents would understand? Like if you now have this platform on this podcast, what are some things that you know happens as a teacher that you’re like, man, if I could just tell a parent like what it really is like or what I wish they would do more of or less of, what would those things be?

 

00;03;32;22 – 00;03;53;02

Michelle

Oh, goodness. Yeah. And I think a given even not in a Covid year and I think hopefully it’s starting to become more important is please don’t send your children to school when they’re sick. Oh, yeah. And that I think we’re going to hopefully figure out a little bit more. And, you know, things happen like colds and you know, sometimes it’s okay.

 

00;03;53;04 – 00;04;14;03

Michelle

But when your child is miserable or it’s something contagious, it’s really better for everybody. When your child stays home. And I think kind of along those same lines with sometimes wanting, you know, parents and families to realize is that teachers are, you know, we’re human and a lot of us are parents, and we have our own children, and we have our own families to go home to.

 

00;04;14;03 – 00;04;23;23

Michelle

And so, yeah, like we carry all those germs home also. And that’s part of the job. But I would say that’s definitely one. Please stop sending your kids to school sick.

 

00;04;23;25 – 00;04;40;26

Dr. Mona

Yeah. I mean, I mean, from a pediatric standpoint, you said it perfectly, like, obviously fever free for 24 hours, but also how that child’s looking like, if that child is not able to do the activities that would warrant being in school and around their peers. I mean, they shouldn’t be in school, they should be home and resting. I mean, that’s what we should do too.

 

00;04;40;26 – 00;04;55;05

Dr. Mona

As adults. But I know there’s a culture, especially in America, that we don’t either get time off or, you know, we feel like we got to go, go, go, but that rest is needed for them. I mean, just looking at it from a not even just thinking of other people also, because that’s important also for your child.

 

00;04;55;05 – 00;05;10;24

Dr. Mona

I mean, they need to rest. I mean, they can’t be in school and nor should they if they’re feeling crummy. And it’s just that is my big message too. And I think that’s also a cultural thing and child care and all that. But it’s really important. I completely agree with that. What would be something else?

 

00;05;10;27 – 00;05;34;10

Michelle

I think something else would be thinking about how you parent at some point you have to let your child make mistakes. You know, for a long time we always used to kind of talk about like, helicopter parents and parents, you know, that really hover and really helicopter. And I feel like the longer I have Ty, the more we’re starting to see, like what we call lawnmower parents.

 

00;05;34;12 – 00;05;50;12

Michelle

Their they’re paving the way like they’re not just hovering anymore and they’re paving. And to a certain point, you know, I get it. I’m also a mom. I have three kids and two of them are now in elementary. And sometimes that’s hard. It’s hard to sit back and to watch them make mistakes and have to kind of do their own things.

 

00;05;50;12 – 00;06;15;03

Michelle

But it makes your students so much stronger. Thinking about, like, if they do mess up, if they don’t do well on a test, like please start teaching them how to approach it, you know? So if they don’t do well on something or something happens with a friend, start helping them have those skills where they can address it. Like they can go to the teacher and say, hey, this is what happened, what can I do next time?

 

00;06;15;03 – 00;06;23;29

Michelle

Or if they have a problem with their friends, like they learn the communication skills instead of constantly having the parent interfere, if that makes sense.

 

00;06;24;02 – 00;06;31;02

Dr. Mona

Oh yeah. Totally like meaning teaching your child how to resolve issues on their own versus a parent coming in and swooping in right away?

 

00;06;31;04 – 00;06;52;11

Michelle

Yes. And, you know, elementary probably sees that a little bit more as a high school level. I see it a lot academically. There is so much more to school than academics. And I know that sometimes it’s hard to see, especially with older students. You see scholarships and college and you know, you want them to be doing our best, and that is truly important.

 

00;06;52;11 – 00;07;15;19

Michelle

But it’s also those life skills and the friendships and learning that it’s okay to fail. It’s okay to fall. And sometimes as teachers, we’d rather see that happen in high school when we’re there to help them learn how to pick themselves back up instead of it helping, you know, in college, when they’re on their own. And then that can kind of possibly spiral into some other problems.

 

00;07;15;21 – 00;07;34;04

Dr. Mona

Oh, I completely agree. And I love that your perspective is obviously from the experience of being the level like, you know, seventh through 12th grade. I mean, that is awesome because this is a hugely critical time that prepares them for college. And I think the things that you’re mentioning does definitely go downstream. I mean, we talk about, you know, school age children, the importance of making mistakes.

 

00;07;34;08 – 00;07;55;05

Dr. Mona

And then I also think about early infancy. I mean, I’m just being very honest. Like what your example that you’re saying when you think about teaching your infant or toddler things, you know, it really is important to allow them to figure it out first before we intervene? I’m talking everything I mean, in infancy, right? Eating like you want to take a step back when you’re teaching your child how to start solids, right?

 

00;07;55;09 – 00;08;22;21

Dr. Mona

You don’t need to do it for them all the time. If you’re going to, you know, do self feeding skills as an example, walking all these things like you almost kind of have to watch and see what can you do on your own. And that mentality is going to really help you for when you get into school age, for when you get into grade school and high school and all of those things, because you’re allowing the child to do what a child can innately do because we’re human beings, but also having that sort of presence that, hey, what do you need for me right now?

 

00;08;22;28 – 00;08;49;13

Dr. Mona

What can you do for yourself? And then I’m going to be here to be your guide and not your lawn. Like you said, I love that. I actually haven’t heard of lawnmower parenting, but oh yeah, hey, I see that a lot. And I see it a lot in our generation, you know, like, this kind of the last 5 to 10 years of parenting, it’s been really an epidemic of this, you know, and I, I think people are also forgetting that it puts more stress on the parent to be like that, to be so involved.

 

00;08;49;13 – 00;09;06;19

Dr. Mona

It actually is very stressful for you. And also it has a negative outcome on the child. I mean, they’re not going to learn anything from having their parent hover. I mean, there’s a balance of being on top of your child so that you’re guiding them. But also, hey, yes, like you said, you’re going to make mistakes. How are we going to work through this?

 

00;09;06;19 – 00;09;21;18

Dr. Mona

What could have been done differently next time? You know, working on that growth mindset versus the you failed. You got to be you got to see it’s okay. Do you think you could have done anything differently in how you prepared for that test versus, you know, the punishment and the well, you didn’t do this. So you got to see.

 

00;09;21;18 – 00;09;29;16

Dr. Mona

So you’re going to be grounded. You know, it’s not helpful for that growth mentality so that they can learn how to pick themselves up. I completely agree with that.

 

00;09;29;19 – 00;09;56;07

Michelle

Absolutely. And you kind of made a comment about something that really strikes us as teachers is parents sometimes don’t realize the stress they’re putting on their children by hovering. And that’s kind of one of those, like maybe have that conversation. Because some students are embarrassed that their parents hover and they send emails. You know, with everything being online, parents can see their students grades, you know, relatively quick compared to what it used to be.

 

00;09;56;09 – 00;10;15;17

Michelle

And some students are really embarrassed by that. When they get an email right away, like, hey, like, your mom emailed me and said she was concerned about this. And some kids are very embarrassed and some kids don’t like that. So I think that sometimes, you know, sit down with your child and ask them like, hey, do you want me to talk to your teacher or do you want to instead of just jumping in right away?

 

00;10;15;17 – 00;10;22;26

Michelle

Because like you said, sometimes that does put stress on them. And I don’t know that all parents see that either.

 

00;10;22;28 – 00;10;39;23

Dr. Mona

Absolutely. I agree with that. And again, I know we’re talking from a perspective of 7 to 12 degree, but it really is useful for your younger children too. I mean, this is definitely from a behavioral standpoint. I mean, we know that children are going to have scholastic issues in those early years, too, and then also relationship with peers.

 

00;10;39;29 – 00;10;59;00

Dr. Mona

And you might have to be a little more involved early on. Like you said, but it is something that allowing them and talking to them, about what’s happening and that communication is so key, that two way street communication, you know, I grew up in a family that was very one way, like, hey, this is what you’re going to do, or it’s, you know, that sort of my way or the highway.

 

00;10;59;06 – 00;11;15;00

Dr. Mona

And so it triggers you. I mean, you do get a good work ethic, but there is a balance of creating a good work ethic in a child, but also being supportive and understanding that failure is an option. You know, it is something that has happened, right? We talk about there not being an option. Failure is a part of life.

 

00;11;15;01 – 00;11;33;11

Dr. Mona

It doesn’t mean that we sit in that failure and we don’t learn from it. But I want like you said, I want kids to experience failure more from an early age so they understand how to move from that failure and succeed and thrive when they get older. So it’s so key that they don’t know how to do something and that we’re there for them.

 

00;11;33;11 – 00;11;48;06

Dr. Mona

Hey, how can we help you learn this? You know, and it starts so early. I mean, I can’t stress this enough. I completely agree with you. Like this is downstream. Like how we approach our children and their resiliency in, you know, hard times for sure.

 

00;11;48;08 – 00;12;03;25

Michelle

Absolutely. It’s like creating that toolbox and, you know, giving them the skills to start building that. And like I said, I really see it from a high school standpoint. But, you know, I am a mom and I have elementary kids. And we just started school, and one of our kids came home the next day. And he really wanted crayons.

 

00;12;03;25 – 00;12;18;15

Michelle

And, you know, like that was one of those, okay, well, it wasn’t on your list. But if your friends have it like, well, you have two choices. Either you ask your teacher or I can ask your teacher when I see her on the haul. And our particular child is getting old enough where like, he was instantly embarrassed. You know?

 

00;12;18;15 – 00;12;36;09

Michelle

And so that was one of those like, no, mom, don’t go there. And so that’s kind of one of those, like, even though I’m a teacher, I understand the mom side for parents too. Like I get it. And sometimes it’s just like pausing and being, you know, here’s your choice. Either you do it or I do it. And so it’s, you know, of course our child did it because they didn’t want to be embarrassed.

 

00;12;36;09 – 00;12;43;06

Michelle

And so it’s just always reminding yourself, like, okay, we’re giving them the tools now so that they can succeed later on.

 

00;12;43;08 – 00;12;51;11

Dr. Mona

Oh, this is so great. And what would you say would be something else that you would want to talk to parents about or, you know, spread a message on,

 

00;12;51;14 – 00;13;19;21

Michelle

You know, kind of one thing small and I think this is a given, but this is really something especially our school is starting right now for all grades, not just elementary is sleep. You know, sleep is incredibly important. And it goes along lines with the sick. But sleep also comes out in behaviors also, and we think of it as adults, like when we’re tired, you know, and we’re hungry like we’re hangry, you know, like we get mad and we act out and children are the same.

 

00;13;19;21 – 00;13;40;06

Michelle

And so as we’re starting back to school, you know, a really good reminder for parents is push those bedtimes off a little bit earlier until you get back into the groove, because it does reflect how they learn in the classroom, and it reflects on their behaviors. And sometimes small behaviors in the class are easily fixed by sleep.

 

00;13;40;22 – 00;14;00;27

Dr. Mona

I completely agree. You know, people kind of always talk about why are pediatricians so big on sleep and why are we, you know, I mean, again, I understand that some people are against sleep training in the infancy period. It’s not about that. You have to have a child sleeping to the night in infancy. It’s about setting the tone and the understanding of how sleep is vital before they get into school age.

 

00;14;00;27 – 00;14;20;23

Dr. Mona

I completely agree, like by a time a child is for I would like for them to be having good sleep quality and good sleep hygiene. And what that means is exactly what you said. Like prioritizing that sleep is important for your well-being and we forget how much it is important for children. And I don’t understand why, because we know how important it is for us.

 

00;14;20;23 – 00;14;35;25

Dr. Mona

Like your rhythm is created by what you’re doing with sleep at night, right? And you said it perfectly. Like if you don’t get a good night, you’re not going to be ready to tackle work. You’re not going to be ready to do that. And your child can’t have caffeine. So, you know, coffee isn’t possible for a college kid.

 

00;14;36;01 – 00;14;54;06

Dr. Mona

So you need to kind of prioritize that. And I mean, I see this also. I mean, the late bedtime, I’m talking like 10 p.m., 11 p.m. I’m like, what is going on here? I mean, it’s not a judgment thing that I’m like, hey, like, you’re ruining your kid. It’s a let’s understand why this is important for their well-being.

 

00;14;54;09 – 00;15;09;22

Dr. Mona

I am a big believer that for weekends and if there’s a special holiday or special event that’s happening on the weekend, then fine. That is a boundary that you’re setting. I did that growing up, too. But weeknights and school nights, there’s a rule here that we have to go to bed and that it has to be an early bedtime.

 

00;15;09;22 – 00;15;14;00

Dr. Mona

I completely agree with that. Can I ask what time your school age kids go to bed?

 

00;15;14;02 – 00;15;21;07

Michelle

So our school age kids, you know, in the summer, obviously it’s a little bit later. Since we started school, our school age kids are in bed at eight.

 

00;15;21;12 – 00;15;37;05

Dr. Mona

Yeah, I love it. I was just going to say 7 to 8 is perfect for school age. I mean, it’s just great. As they get older into teenage years, you can push that back a little bit based on their sleep needs, understanding sleep hygiene and sleep physiology. That 8:00 is an amazing bedtime for a school age kid. And a regular basis.

 

00;15;37;09 – 00;15;44;25

Dr. Mona

Again, no exceptions are going to happen. Events are going to happen. But it’s that rule that, hey, this is the rule. And then the exception is obviously going to happen sometimes.

 

00;15;44;27 – 00;16;10;24

Michelle

Right. And especially something I think it’s really important for parents that are just having children start late kindergarten. And I know every you know, states are different on you know, some kids go to preschool and some don’t. Some just go to kindergarten. It really varies, but especially with kind of the new generation, I think coming kindergarten is not the same as when like we went to kindergarten, you know, kindergarten now is much more like what first grade probably was for us.

 

00;16;11;12 – 00;16;31;17

Michelle

Most, you know, most kindergarten now, like they maybe only have a 15 minute, like, quiet read and rest time, but a lot of them don’t have a nap time anymore. And so I think that’s really also good, too, just especially for new parents, if it’s their first time with kids and their first time with kindergartners is really thinking like, this is a big change for them, they might not be napping anymore.

 

00;16;31;17 – 00;16;49;02

Michelle

They’re learning especially, you know, once they get into state testing and things like that. And that can also be, you know, a different topic, but you know, that sleep again, like they’re doing things a little bit different. It’s no longer, you know, how kindergarten used to be. So the sleep just becomes even more important.

 

00;16;49;04 – 00;16;58;00

Dr. Mona

What other topics would you say? I mean, this is already so helpful and I love chatting with you about this because it’s all the stuff I feel as well. So I think this is such a great conversation. Yeah.

 

00;16;58;14 – 00;17;27;05

Michelle

I think from a high school standpoint, mental health and, you know, mental health, we all know how mental health is in the United States. But I think you need to have those conversations with your teenagers that it’s okay to not be okay. And when I talk about mental health with my classes, because I teach, like a medical terminology class and some health science ones and kind of a mix, and I always tell them, you know, what would you do if you broke your ankle?

 

00;17;27;06 – 00;17;54;08

Michelle

And my students always say, like, right away, why go to the doctor and get it fixed? I’m like, wait, so if something else is happening and you know, your head doesn’t feel right and your thoughts aren’t right, why wouldn’t you go to the doctor and get it fixed? Like, why wouldn’t you stop and talk to somebody? So I think the more we can make it, you know, normal and make it okay to have those conversations with them, the easier it is for them to start expressing their concerns.

 

00;17;54;08 – 00;18;01;12

Michelle

You know, maybe it’s just a teacher. If you’re not comfortable with, like the guidance counselor or a school psychologist, like find somebody.

 

00;18;01;12 – 00;18;01;23

Dr. Mona

Yeah.

 

00;18;02;11 – 00;18;26;02

Michelle

To just talk to. And then, you know, the teacher and coach can always go from there if it’s something that you know, is concerning or way over their head. But there seems to be a lot more stress that I see high schoolers have now than they used to. And not just you know, scholarships and sports, but a lot of our high school kids work now, and now they go to work, or they’re taking care of younger siblings and things like that.

 

00;18;26;02 – 00;18;35;19

Michelle

And so I think the more we can push, it’s okay to not be okay and to get that help, hopefully, you know, and adds that to their toolbox.

 

00;18;35;21 – 00;18;53;06

Dr. Mona

And, just kind of another Segway because of course, mental health is so important when you have a child or, you know, an adolescent with like, behavioral concerns, you know, obviously, I’m sure that comes up. Do you ever get approached by parents that you’re not doing enough? Like, do you ever get that judgment, ever?

 

00;18;54;08 – 00;19;17;09

Michelle

I don’t feel like myself. I have gotten that judgment. I’m sure maybe once in a while, maybe towards counselor or school psychologist. Personally, as a teacher, I can say I have had parents ask me like, hey, are you seeing these behaviors like, these are, you know, these are my concerns at home. Are you seeing them? And sometimes, yes, you be like, you know, I have kind of noticed they’ve seemed a little off lately.

 

00;19;18;06 – 00;19;32;27

Michelle

And sometimes the ones that really worry me the most are when you’re like, no, okay. You know, like, I haven’t seen that. And to me, sometimes that’s a little bit of a red flag. Because I wonder sometimes, like, if they’re bearing, you know, like, if they’re hiding it at school and they don’t want others to see it.

 

00;19;33;09 – 00;19;56;02

Michelle

So sometimes that it’s nice, I guess, for parents, when they do let teachers know, like, hey, I’ve had some concerns. You know, you see my kid multiple times a day. And I think that’s important to to let parents know, like it’s okay to contact a teacher, especially if it’s a teacher that your student has both a relationship with, like if they see them a few times a day or have classes with them, or maybe if it’s a coach.

 

00;19;56;04 – 00;20;08;07

Michelle

Yeah. Just because you see them in a different setting than they do at home. And so sometimes you can kind of gauge that or be like, yeah, I can tell friendship or, you know, high school relationships and things like that.

 

00;20;08;09 – 00;20;27;17

Dr. Mona

And this is so important from, again, a young age like we talk about, you know, children in daycare, school age, like the importance of that communication with your child’s daycare teacher or school teacher is so important, like development behavior like Ryan was throwing things for a while. So I communicated with his school teacher like he’s in a preschool.

 

00;20;27;23 – 00;20;38;26

Dr. Mona

And I was like, hey, like, is he throwing things? And they were like, no. And I was like, are you sure? Because he’s throwing things at home. I just want to make sure, like, we’re all on the same page, that we remedy it. If there’s happening and the same things need to happen as your child gets older. Right.

 

00;20;39;11 – 00;21;02;18

Dr. Mona

How is your child doing emotionally? How’s your child doing physically? Like, what’s the eating like? Like, you know, if it’s obviously a younger child and, and like a daycare, but all his communication goes again downstream because it’s, you’re not, you know, helicoptering when you’re discussing things with teachers that are in the best interest of the child, like, obviously just wanting to be better of like, hey, I just noticed a concern because and that’s going to open up communication from the teachers side too, right?

 

00;21;02;18 – 00;21;20;17

Dr. Mona

I think, you know, in terms of, hey, I just noticed this about Ryan or I know this is about your child. Is everything okay? I mean, we want that open communication. I feel like there’s a trifecta, that I’m putting you in with me, and it’s the teacher. Doctor child parent relationship. Okay, like, this is the trifecta.

 

00;21;20;18 – 00;21;38;08

Dr. Mona

That’s why I’m so happy we’re talking. Because all the parents in my office, I come in sometimes, and I’m talking like school age kids with ADHD and they are blaming the teachers that they’re not doing enough. You know, they’re not disciplining. I’m like, well, look, ADHD is a whole different ballgame, right? ADHD is a, neurodiversity of a child’s learning.

 

00;21;38;08 – 00;21;56;00

Dr. Mona

So we can’t blame anyone. Like there’s no blame here. It’s just we have to figure out how to best accommodate this child to learn in the system. They need to learn, you know? And so it’s really important that parents understand that it’s a team effort between the doctor, the teacher and the parent. Right. Like, it’s not anyone’s fault.

 

00;21;56;00 – 00;22;13;26

Dr. Mona

It’s not anyone’s like, well, you need to do this. It’s a triple thing. Like it’s an especially it comes down to the parent’s right to express their concern. That comes to me, that may come to the teacher. And I have worked so closely with teachers with like, you know, ADHD, Vanderbilt forms and things like this to say, look like, what are the concerns here?

 

00;22;14;07 – 00;22;29;16

Dr. Mona

And parents get frustrated. They feel like things aren’t happening as fast as they should. And I always remind them, I’m like, this is something that we need time to take care of. And we’re here where this is what we’re going to do. But it’s not so much just saying, well, people need to do this better or, you know, this person’s not doing their job.

 

00;22;29;16 – 00;22;44;19

Dr. Mona

I’m like, oh, it’s literally we need to find the common ground here. We all have the same goal. We want kids to thrive, whether that’s in health, whether that’s at home, whether that’s in school. That’s my goal. You know, I want kids to feel supported wherever they are spending their day.

 

00;22;44;21 – 00;23;02;21

Michelle

Absolutely. And that’s a great point with parents saying, are you doing an ask and not necessarily with a blame towards teachers, but that’s also a good reminder. As you know, some teachers, they might be in a classroom was 20 plus kids. Yeah. And they might have a para somebody there to help them and they might not. So sometimes as parents.

 

00;23;02;21 – 00;23;22;13

Michelle

Yeah. Like absolutely. If you’re concerned about something let them know. And sometimes I think and I can say this, you know, being on the panel because I have a child in daycare also, I feel like, you know, like in daycare with your son throwing, you know, like my son, they’re trying to get potty trained. So I catch things at home and I ask them like, hey, did you notice this?

 

00;23;22;15 – 00;23;43;07

Michelle

And I see, like, we’re really good about that when they’re little. But then somewhere along the line when they get older, sometimes we don’t. And so like you said, you know, that’s not necessarily helicopter pairing. And that’s not necessarily being a lawnmower parent, especially when it comes to concerns. And if there’s truly a concern about your child’s behavior or anything that you’re seeing.

 

00;23;43;09 – 00;24;05;23

Michelle

When in doubt, communicate with your teacher. And there’s so much going on for a teacher during the day. And sometimes we try to make notes of things, but we don’t always get parents contacted as quick as we want, even though we try. And so as parents don’t ever feel bad, you know, I’ve had parents send emails and contact me and say, hey, I sorry that I had to don’t say sorry.

 

00;24;05;23 – 00;24;12;19

Michelle

Like especially if you’re truly concerned. Like just take the time to email or call us like, it’s okay. We do care.

 

00;24;12;22 – 00;24;33;14

Dr. Mona

Yeah. And I think like let’s talk about younger kids, right? Like the 4 or 5 school age is we talked about the older ones with like our mental health. But the anxiety that exists in some school age kids is real too. And I think, you know, parents sometimes notice it at home, but things like the physical symptoms of anxiety in a smaller child and I’m talking like difficulty sleeping, headaches, stomach aches.

 

00;24;33;14 – 00;24;52;19

Dr. Mona

I mean, these kind of things are sometimes not really talked about. And I see it a lot like I’m talking now. Your five year old to about ten year old your school age, you know, elementary of understanding like, hey, my child is having these complaints going to the nurse a lot. Is it something medical or is it something that’s related to a mental health concern?

 

00;24;52;19 – 00;25;12;01

Dr. Mona

You know, because those are two very important aspects of our child’s health. And these are when these conversations become so important with the school, like, hey, are you noticing that, you know, they’re doing well, like we’re testing all of this because school anxiety is actually, I think, more prevalent than we realize, you know, in terms of having concerns with being in school peers, testing.

 

00;25;12;04 – 00;25;26;17

Dr. Mona

And there’s ways that we can manage that earlier than later versus saying, oh, it’s fine, it’s fine, it’s fine. Again, it’s one of those things like recognizing it as a parent and saying, you know what? I’m noticing some things at home. Let’s see what the teachers are noticing. And things are fine. Things are fine. You don’t need to keep pressing.

 

00;25;26;21 – 00;25;41;08

Dr. Mona

You just have that open door of like, hey, if you notice anything, let me know. But I find like from a pediatric standpoint, I do see a lot of children coming in in the school age kids, especially in the time of Covid. I did see it. You know, I have seen it more than I normally have.

 

00;25;41;08 – 00;25;55;11

Dr. Mona

And I think a lot of it could be because of all the precautions and everything that we have to do to keep people safe. Some children are just feeling sometimes that they don’t know how to cope with these changes. And I think it’s totally natural. And we want to recognize that even for these younger children.

 

00;25;55;13 – 00;25;58;09

Michelle

Yes, absolutely. Totally agree.

 

00;25;58;11 – 00;26;06;29

Dr. Mona

Is there anything else you want to add? Any other major topic? I feel like we’ve gone through a lot of the big ones, but anything like, you know, in terms of like a final thing,

 

00;26;07;01 – 00;26;29;06

Michelle

I guess if I could say, you know, I’m thinking one final saying is that we love our jobs, you know, we the kind of the joke we clearly aren’t teachers because of how much we get paid, but we’re teachers because we truly love our job, and we care about your kids and we worry about, you know, your kids, and we truly want the best for them.

 

00;26;29;06 – 00;26;51;05

Michelle

And so we try to give you the skills and we try to help you, and we want parents to help us also and to do that. But yeah, it’s kind of the we truly do care. And if you have concerns, reach out. But parents or caregivers and whoever your guardian is, you are also teachers at home. And so sometimes let’s be a team.

 

00;26;51;05 – 00;27;02;21

Michelle

Let’s work together. You know, I’ll teach your kid at school, and then you teach your kid at home, and hopefully we’re able to put that together and, you know, they’ll be rockstars and ready to conquer the world.

 

00;27;03;02 – 00;27;20;16

Dr. Mona

I love it if you could change anything, besides compensation, because I completely agree, I said this, I said this for, like, like decades. Like, I literally growing up, I have such an amazing appreciation for teachers like, I am who I am today is because of the teachers I’ve had in my life. And I’m talking like the young teachers, right?

 

00;27;20;18 – 00;27;37;07

Dr. Mona

Meaning the teachers that I had in elementary and junior high. I mean, these teachers are the ones who help me. We don’t give the teachers enough credit, like not college professors. I’m talking like teachers in grade school and high school and junior high. I mean, I so appreciate you. If you could change anything, what would you change?

 

00;27;37;09 – 00;27;58;20

Michelle

I think on a high school level, if there’s one thing I can change is there’s just not enough time. And, you know, you have so much content and you have so much that you want to teach, and we have so much that we have to teach based off of tests. And sometimes that gets overwhelming. And sometimes I just wish I had more time.

 

00;27;58;20 – 00;28;27;17

Michelle

Like those days when we spend, you know, the first 10 or 15 minutes, just like talking and laughing and building those relationships. And sometimes I wish I truly and I think a lot of teachers would agree, like we just sometimes get so focused on all of the checklist that we have to do from those that are higher above us and things that are required by education that we don’t always have the time that we want to truly spend with each child.

 

00;28;27;19 – 00;28;46;26

Dr. Mona

It’s like you’re talking about what I feel like. That’s what I’m saying. Like we’re so similar in terms of what we feel as pediatricians and teachers. Like, I don’t have enough time. I completely agree with you. I could do so much more on these visits and so much more to impact families. And then, yeah, like I just completely agree that it’s just like that team effort feel that sort of empowerment that I want to give families.

 

00;28;46;26 – 00;29;22;29

Dr. Mona

And I just wish we had more time, more resources. I know, you know, as teachers, I wish you guys had more resources. But for us, it’s like more resources to support families in like a social service standpoint, right? Like, you know, educational, whether that’s educational, whether that’s specialist. Like, I just wish there was more for children and adolescents and everyone that takes care of a kid, because I think it’s really backwards that we focus so much more on, you know, treatments of things and like medication versus helping families from the beginning to get the resources they need to have the support and empowerment they need to get all that right.

 

00;29;22;29 – 00;29;42;02

Dr. Mona

The system would be so much better. And I’m talking like education system, health care system. If we really focused on the foundation, which we’re not in America, for sure there’s no value for prevention. There’s so much more like, well, your treatment, your treatment. Well, let’s just put you into this therapy in this. It’s like that is needed. But what if we just really went downstream?

 

00;29;42;02 – 00;29;52;11

Dr. Mona

And what if we really just allowed families to have resources so that they feel supported so that they’re not scrambling and feeling frustrated and their child can’t thrive to their full potential?

 

00;29;52;14 – 00;30;15;27

Michelle

Absolutely. And that’s like you said, that’s across the board. That’s kind of a system that, you know, is almost broken, that absolutely we should be preventing, from everything, you know, from mental health to money to lunches and meals on the weekend. You know, you name it, that there’s a treatment. But yeah, like, I wish we could get ahead of the game and and kind of break it and and prevent.

 

00;30;15;27 – 00;30;16;21

Michelle

 

00;30;16;23 – 00;30;34;14

Dr. Mona

Yeah. Like I’m in South Florida. And South Florida is an interesting dichotomy because there’s rich private school families. Okay. Meaning it’s like the haves and the have nots down here. You have people who are in private school, and then you have the public school system that is not high quality in most of South Florida. Okay. Meaning it’s just a sad reality.

 

00;30;34;14 – 00;30;55;00

Dr. Mona

We don’t have proper funding, we don’t have state income tax, and that has a huge impact on the quality of schools. And as a pediatrician, it actually really kills me because these people are essentially neighbors. When you think about it. Right. You’re all coming to the same office, right? You live probably within ten, 15 minutes of each other, but your outcomes are completely different because of the resources you have.

 

00;30;55;02 – 00;31;14;10

Dr. Mona

And it kills me. And I told my husband this for so long, like, we’ve been here, like, it’s really hard for me to sit here and know that if this family just had these resources, that should be free, right? For everyone, that they would have an amazing outcome. They wouldn’t be in, you know, the poverty, they wouldn’t be in this.

 

00;31;14;10 – 00;31;31;08

Dr. Mona

They would have the educational outcomes. They wouldn’t be, you know, doing the things that they’re doing if they had the proper foundation. And like, I know we’re getting into tangent about systemic issues, but it’s important to talk about because it goes into education and it goes into the health care system so much. And both of those impact children.

 

00;31;31;12 – 00;31;50;01

Dr. Mona

And I think we are just forgetting so much about that. And I wish there was a better way. I’m like so passionate about like I’m hopeful in the next 10 to 15 years, like with policies from the government, like we can have change, but we’re not focusing on the right things like we’re really not. And it’s putting kids at a disadvantage for sure.

 

00;31;50;03 – 00;32;13;18

Michelle

Oh yeah. Absolutely. And you know, even being in the Midwest, we see it here too. There’s, you know, the small towns and there’s the farm communities, and then there’s the large communities that are based off of large factories and industries. And, you know, those communities and those school systems have a large amount of different culture, and they might have a lot of immigrants.

 

00;32;13;18 – 00;32;23;18

Michelle

And so, yeah, it’s very vers and very different. And, you know, each of those communities in each of those schools, depending on their culture in that town, really varies with needs.

 

00;32;23;18 – 00;32;40;12

Dr. Mona

It wants to totally agree. Michelle, this is such a great conversation. I am so grateful we could connect. I mean, this is the third time we’ve tried to connect it for everyone listening. We’ve had some technical difficulties over here and we did this, and I’m just so glad because it’s just so nice talking to you about all this stuff.

 

00;32;40;15 – 00;32;44;28

Dr. Mona

I really want to thank you for joining me. And really just have a great rest of your day.

 

00;32;45;00 – 00;32;49;06

Michelle

Absolutely. I’m glad this finally worked out because it has been really fun. Thank you.

 

00;32;49;10 – 00;33;06;02

Dr. Mona

Thank you, thank you for tuning in for this week’s episode. As always, please leave a review. Share this episode with a friend. Share it on your social media. Make sure to follow me at PedsDocTalk on Instagram and subscribe to my YouTube channel, PedsDocTalk TV. We’ll talk to you soon.