Welcome back to the show and another season of The PedsDocTalk Podcast. On this episode of The PedsDocTalk Podcast, I am talking about Gratitude. On the Finding Joy series, I talk about mindset shifts that are important in life and in parenting every month. On this episode, I discuss:

• What gratitude is and why it’s good for our mental health
• How it benefits parenting
• How to apply it
• Misconceptions about gratitude

If you want to stay up to date on parenting, health, and development news or you want to be a parent guest on the podcast, sign up for our Newsletter

00;00;01;01 – 00;00;20;26

Dr. Mona

And it’s easy to find yourself in that negativity spiral. And that has been one of my other episodes where you just everything is bad’s happening and you just get bad news after bad news after bad news. And you just feel like, well, why me? And then you get into that woe is me mentality where only bad things happen to me and that can be really debilitating.

 

00;00;20;29 – 00;00;42;12

Dr. Mona

Illnesses, finances, sleep deprivation, anxiety about the future, distraction. Okay, I hope I’m not making you more anxious by listing all of that off. I mean, it all adds up to this feeling that you sometimes can’t feel like you can escape. And I know you all have been there. Or maybe you will find yourself there one time. Gratitude can really help bring us clarity and parenting.

 

00;00;42;14 – 00;01;13;25

Dr. Mona

It can increase connection with our partner and child. It can also create more empathy and compassion for ourselves as well as other people. Welcome back to the show and happy 2023. Maybe you’re listening to this in January of 2023 when it debuts, or maybe later. Welcome, welcome, welcome. I am so happy to have you here. As a reminder, this podcast continues to grow because of you, your reviews, the way you share this podcast with your loved ones, your neighbor down the street on social media.

 

00;01;13;26 – 00;01;33;28

Dr. Mona

It means so much. So keep doing that. I also hope you just had a really great and safe holiday. I hope you spent time with people that you love. I hope you spent time with yourself and if you traveled by airplane, I really hope you have your luggage. I mean those delays, the luggage all over the country and even internationally was a fiasco.

 

00;01;33;28 – 00;02;09;29

Dr. Mona

So hopefully life is getting back to normal. You have over things. And thank you again for joining me. I ended last year with the finding Joy episode about things to leave behind in 2023, and I hope that you take a listen to it, because it’s a really important conversation here at PedsDocTalk and through all of my resources, whether it’s on this podcast, social media, YouTube or my blog or my workshops and courses, I want us parents to be informed, supported and also feel motivated to make the changes we need to be the best versions of ourselves for our lives and our family.

 

00;02;09;29 – 00;02;33;10

Dr. Mona

And this is what these finding Joy episodes are all about. So like I said, you got to take a listen to this. And also make sure to sign up for my email list via my show notes to stay up to date on all things parenting and child health, development and wellness. So starting in 2023, when you are looking at the episode listings on the podcast, you’re not going to see episode numbers anymore.

 

00;02;33;12 – 00;02;50;00

Dr. Mona

You’re not going to see the finding Joy title. You’re not going to see the Monday mornings a Doctor Moana title anymore. You are still going to get that content and those conversations, but we’re just going to be releasing titles for you now, so it’s easier to search the topics that you want. As you’re perusing all of the episodes.

 

00;02;50;00 – 00;03;11;27

Dr. Mona

Here we have at PedsDocTalk and the PedsDocTalk podcast. So this episode is a finding Joy episode. And if you’re not familiar with these episodes, this is where I talk about real life parenting things, mom life things, doctor life things, and just talk about the ups and downs. And I also talk about mindset shifts. You know, I have dealt with postpartum anxiety.

 

00;03;11;27 – 00;03;31;08

Dr. Mona

I’ve just dealt with underlying anxiety my entire life, to be honest, and I’ve learned a lot of these skills throughout the way. A lot of this information is supplemental to maybe if you are seeing a therapist and I’m very open to saying, hey, this information is out there. If you’re not feeling like yourself, if this is not helping you, I need you to get professional help as well.

 

00;03;31;08 – 00;03;59;29

Dr. Mona

But I feel like a lot of these tips can really help change the wiring in our brain. Change how we view certain situations. On this episode, we are chatting about gratitude, what is it and why it’s good for our mental health, how it benefits parenting, how to apply it, and the misconceptions. I often hear about gratitude, and I’m going to be honest, a lot of the misconceptions I hear are from people who are more of a negative mindset overall see the world as glass half empty.

 

00;04;00;08 – 00;04;26;06

Dr. Mona

And I’ve been very open about this. This is my husband and we have found each other in this world. I am an optimistic glass half full mentality and he’s more glass half empty mentality. The way he talks about gratitude and the misconceptions about it. I wanted to clarify that on this episode and talk about what gratitude is, why it’s important, and how it really can help you in your life, and especially in parenting as well.

 

00;04;26;08 – 00;04;51;19

Dr. Mona

So gratitude is the art of recognizing, embracing, and acknowledging the good around us, whether it’s the people in our life, events large or small, or things that you have, that’s fine. Gratitude can improve our overall well-being and mental health, increase resilience, reduce stress, and strengthen social relationships and our relationship with ourselves. I mean, just by changing how you view the world doesn’t cost any money.

 

00;04;51;21 – 00;05;17;29

Dr. Mona

You can really bring yourself more joy and reduce your stress. And this is shown in science as well. Gratitude has the capacity to increase important neurochemicals in our brain, like serotonin, dopamine, and oxytocin. When thinking shifts from negative to positive, there is a surge of these feel good chemicals. These all contribute to the feelings of closeness, connection and happiness that comes with gratitude.

 

00;05;18;02 – 00;05;42;15

Dr. Mona

The misconception about gratitude usually comes from people who have been programed to think more glass, half empty, or negativity. Like I mentioned, oftentimes it’s believed that practicing gratitude means you are dismissing the hard or bad things in life and are living a life of toxic positivity. There is a difference between being grateful and practicing gratitude, and always thinking that everything is fine and dandy and you’re never feeling or feelings.

 

00;05;42;17 – 00;06;07;18

Dr. Mona

Truly practicing gratitude means to, number one, never dismiss the heart, but recognize it. Number two, find something in this situation or another situation in your life that you can feel gratitude for. To teach your brain that I can overcome this and that not everything is a threat or dread. Another common misconception is that gratitude is externally taught or can be externally taught.

 

00;06;07;20 – 00;06;30;24

Dr. Mona

And I’ve learned through my experiences that it really can’t be taught to you. What this means is that me telling you, well, you should be grateful for X, Y, and Z. No, you really are not going to feel true gratitude if someone else is telling you what to feel grateful for. Why is this? You have to get to that point of being able to not dismiss the feeling.

 

00;06;30;24 – 00;06;54;06

Dr. Mona

Recognize it’s hard. Understand the situation you’re in. This is part of mindfulness. I am in this situation. I don’t love it. It’s not easy. I’m struggling. But now I need to learn how to cope with it and how to get through it. And that is where gratitude can come in. The reason why you can’t have someone else tell you is that they may not see that you’re ready for that next phase, which is this gratitude phase, the search for gratitude.

 

00;06;54;08 – 00;07;23;24

Dr. Mona

It has to come from you, from you realizing and recognizing the good, and then also ultimately recognizing the power of gratitude. Gratitude builds on itself. I can tell you that if you start to practice gratitude more and more, you’re going to change the way your brain looks at situations. We know the brain changes with experiences, so the more that gratitude is practiced, the more the brain learns to tune into those positive things that are happening in the world.

 

00;07;23;27 – 00;07;46;06

Dr. Mona

But humans, we just tend to have that negative bias, right? Which is when we are constantly looking for threats. Because from an evolutionary perspective, this was key to survival to look for things that are dangerous or not good for us so we can avoid it like a bear in the woods. But life is not all bears in the woods, and this negativity bias can lead to a spiral of negativity about everything.

 

00;07;46;13 – 00;08;12;14

Dr. Mona

When there is too much of a focus on the negative, gratitude can be a way to nurture a more positive focus and teach the brain to spend more time on the positive things that serve us well. By focusing on this gratitude, you will not open yourself up to threats. I promise you you’re not going to get eaten by a bear, but our brains will seek things that nurture our well-being, bring us joy, and help us get through the hard times.

 

00;08;12;16 – 00;08;38;24

Dr. Mona

How does all of this help in parenthood? Well, parenthood is filled with a lot of ups and downs like I’ve shared on my social media channel I’ve shared on here on many of the other finding Joy episodes, and you’re dealing with it. I know you are. If you are a parent listening to this, and it’s easy to find yourself in that negativity spiral, and that has been one of my other episodes where you just everything is bad happening and you just get bad news after bad news after bad news, and you just feel like, well, why me?

 

00;08;38;24 – 00;09;00;04

Dr. Mona

And then you get into that woe is me mentality where only bad things happen to me and that can be really debilitating illnesses, finances, sleep deprivation, anxiety about the future, distraction. Okay, I hope I’m not making you more anxious by listing all of that off. I mean, it all adds up to this feeling that you sometimes can’t feel like you can escape.

 

00;09;00;04 – 00;09;22;17

Dr. Mona

And I know you all have been there, or maybe you will find yourself there one time. Gratitude can really help bring us clarity in parenting. It can increase connection with our partner and child. It can also create more empathy and compassion for ourselves as well as other people. When we hold on to negativity, we block connection. We block compassion.

 

00;09;22;19 – 00;09;43;28

Dr. Mona

Our brain doesn’t have time for this or that or whatever, and we push things away. We’re more likely to be irritable and irritability, negativity. It’s all kind of combined into this anxious kind of mindset that just says everything is a threat. I don’t have the mental space to deal with anything, but unfortunately, I think fortunately we’re raising these children, right?

 

00;09;43;28 – 00;10;02;21

Dr. Mona

We have to take care of them and we have to be present for them. Do we have to be present for them? And on 24 hours a day, seven days a week? No. But it requires us to really look inside ourselves and say, okay, if I’m getting into this negativity spiral where I’m constantly feeling upset, angry, irritable, what am I going to do to change it?

 

00;10;02;29 – 00;10;19;11

Dr. Mona

Am I going to take some of these tips from this podcast? Am I going to see a therapist? What am I going to do? And again, this is not just about your child. This is about you. As someone who’s dealt with anger in my past and I still struggle with it from time to time, but I be honest, I have gotten better and I’ve spoken about this.

 

00;10;19;11 – 00;10;40;26

Dr. Mona

I’ve struggled with anger issues and I’ve gotten so much better at it. But I did that because I didn’t like the way anger made me feel. And part of fixing that anger is practicing gratitude. Gratitude is an important practice, but I find it especially as important to practice when we start and end our day breaking any cycle of negativity.

 

00;10;40;29 – 00;10;57;07

Dr. Mona

I still remember a time in my motherhood journey where I would just wake up with dread, and I also had really bad postpartum anxiety at that time, right? And to be honest, that dread fed more dread. Ryan would have a tantrum and I would feel dread. Our dog would have an accident, like vomiting or diarrhea. I’d feel dread.

 

00;10;57;09 – 00;11;25;21

Dr. Mona

Ryan would refuse to. Now I feel dread. I would just feel a constant state of, oh my gosh, I’m not going to sleep. This is going to happen. And that just doesn’t feel good. There was just a cycle of, this isn’t working, this isn’t working. And then with gratitude, you realize the power of changing small words and phrases and like I said already in this episode, that if you’re dealing with anxiety, true anxiety, all these tips may be in conjunction with formal therapy, right?

 

00;11;25;21 – 00;11;46;06

Dr. Mona

Because when we are getting to a point of having anxiety and it being uncontrolled anxiety, we really need to navigate this with a trained mental health professional. And they may also give you similar tips as you’re either dealing with other things that they’re giving you medicine, talk therapy, whatever it may be. But it’s important to remember that all of this comes together.

 

00;11;46;09 – 00;12;06;08

Dr. Mona

And then when you start to practice gratitude and you start to do this exercise where you change small words and phrases, you’re going to start to see some change. But again, gratitude practice takes practice. It’s not just a one time thing. And all of a sudden you’re this grateful, happy person. That’s not the goal. It’s a mindset shift to affect our overall well-being.

 

00;12;06;11 – 00;12;27;28

Dr. Mona

So rather than me saying, okay, I have to get up, I have to take care of Ryan, I have to walk the dog. I have to have to have to. We change the phrases to, I get to that small change in terminology and phrasing now focuses on the gratitude of being able to do something versus having to do it.

 

00;12;28;01 – 00;12;51;06

Dr. Mona

Get versus have. When you are getting to do something, you’re in control. This is a essentially a choice you could say that you’re making, but you’re also looking at it as an opportunity. I get to do this every day. I get to love a child. Every day I get to have this dog who loves me so much unconditionally and is so cuddly every day.

 

00;12;51;08 – 00;13;20;05

Dr. Mona

Get that word, get I get to it keeps you in control and it’s filled with gratitude. Just a small change can really impact your life. And even though I practice gratitude, a few days before I recorded this episode, I went through a little bit of a spiral of things are not working or trying to make some major life decisions, and I felt a little bit stuck, and I found myself losing that gratitude focus.

 

00;13;20;07 – 00;13;45;19

Dr. Mona

And then I had to sit with my husband and talk with him about gratitude. I said, you know what? This is happening, but I’m very grateful for this, and I’m very grateful for this. And like I said already, it’s not negating the experience we’re going through. It’s not negating the difficult decisions that have to be made. It’s not negating the reality that’s existing in the situation that we’re in, but it’s allowing us to say, here’s what we have, I’m going to do this.

 

00;13;45;19 – 00;14;14;24

Dr. Mona

I get to do this versus I have to that have terminology comes from a place of obligation, whereas get puts you in control and makes it seem like you want to do this and that you have an opportunity to do this. But gratitude also helps in so many situations. Besides this, especially in parenting, when you’re exhausted and feel overwhelmed, you can often find yourselves in that cycle of self-pity or losing self-love, blaming yourself or others, or wondering why me?

 

00;14;14;24 – 00;14;37;13

Dr. Mona

Why, why, why? Like I said, it’s okay to say these things, but finding in yourself something to be grateful for in that situation or another situation is important when you’re able to. Using birth trauma and IVF in birth trauma. I grieved a lot. I went through those spirals of why me? Why us? That’s okay. To feel. But I also found gratitude.

 

00;14;37;13 – 00;14;57;23

Dr. Mona

When I was in the hospital and finally was able to roll out outside, and I sat in the rain and I would say, wow, this rain is so beautiful and I’m alive. I get to breathe in this fresh air. I get to smell the freshly cut grass and hear the rain and cars as they drive by. Gratitude for the people who were there for me.

 

00;14;57;26 – 00;15;16;29

Dr. Mona

Gratitude for the first meal I was able to eat in a week after suffering some complications after delivery. So although I was going through something very difficult, I found those little moments of gratitude. It didn’t take away the fact that I had to sit in that hospital bed and heal. But can I tell you something? It really helped my mind.

 

00;15;17;01 – 00;15;43;14

Dr. Mona

And by helping my mind, it helped me physically get better to. So you’re not dismissing any of the pain, but you’re focusing on the things that are bringing you peace and teaching your brain to focus on this too. This is how resiliency through difficult times is built. None of us are immune to hard times, but how? I’ve seen some people navigate difficult times differently than others is their gratitude and how their mind is approaching that situation.

 

00;15;43;21 – 00;16;02;18

Dr. Mona

And we are in control of our mind. In reality, it’s the only thing we are in control of. And if you’re suffering from anxiety or depression, you can feel out of control. I’ve been there. My husband’s been there too, but it’s important, like I said, to take these tips, but also take it to a therapist or a licensed mental health professional to get the support that you need.

 

00;16;02;24 – 00;16;21;13

Dr. Mona

But like I said, gratitude is a really important part of this. With IVF, I focused on what I did have. So if you have gone through the IVF journey and I do have a finding Joy episode about secondary infertility in IVF, it is difficult. I mean, I’m going to say this honestly, that I found it to be actually mentally more draining than birth trauma.

 

00;16;21;13 – 00;16;38;03

Dr. Mona

I know there’s not a comparison here, but because of the length of how much you’re going through with IVF, the doctor’s visits, the lack of certainty, the back and forth. It was a lot, and I started to focus on the things I did have, rather than focusing on what we didn’t have, which was that second child. So what do we have?

 

00;16;38;05 – 00;17;01;09

Dr. Mona

We had time because I didn’t have two kids. I only had one. So time to work on passions like PDT, time with Ryan, watching him grow that one on one time, time with my husband, time for my body to heal after trauma. Focusing on what I’m gaining and getting to do versus what I’m lacking. The constant search for lack is what brings us unhappiness.

 

00;17;01;09 – 00;17;23;04

Dr. Mona

Well, I don’t have this. I don’t have this. But looking for gratitude helps. It creates that abundant mindset. It creates that mind that I am capable. I am open to this. Things will happen and change. Remember, the situation is the same here. I’m going through IVF. I’m going through birth trauma. I’m going through difficult times. But how am I going to approach it?

 

00;17;23;06 – 00;17;44;07

Dr. Mona

I’m going to focus on gratitude. And I guarantee you that if you start to practice more gratitude, you’re going to see yourself heal and find more peace as you navigate grief and hard times. And the goal is not to be happy all the time. You know, happiness is never the goal. In my opinion. The goal is peace. I like to use that word that I just want mental peace.

 

00;17;44;10 – 00;18;03;24

Dr. Mona

I just want to be able to handle things, understand that sometimes are going to be tough, that we will get through it. Be able to grieve, be able to talk about hard times and gratitude is part of that healing process so that you can move through these really difficult times that we have in our life. Another situation where gratitude can really help you.

 

00;18;03;24 – 00;18;23;02

Dr. Mona

And I know we’ve all been here and I’ve been here to is illness. You know, we’ve been there a lot. I mean, not only with just virus illness, but also when our son, having had a stroke when he was born and seizures, it was a lot. I want to talk about the repetitive illnesses that Ryan had, like the viruses that happened when he started childcare.

 

00;18;23;04 – 00;18;45;02

Dr. Mona

He started group childcare in January of 2021, and for one year, 0MGI was overwhelmed. I missed a lot of work. I ran out of six days by July of 2021 because of my IVF stock, but also because of his illness. I got sick. It was just a lot repetitive back to back sickness. He would go back to school, get sick again.

 

00;18;45;02 – 00;19;03;24

Dr. Mona

We’re out again. We’re literally repeating the cycle for a year. There was obviously months that he wasn’t sick, but there were blocks of time, maybe 1 or 2 months, where it just felt repetitive and it actually was. And I would tell myself, why us? We would look at each other, me and my husband. He would say, is this something we’re only dealing with?

 

00;19;03;24 – 00;19;19;14

Dr. Mona

And I knew it wasn’t, you know, is it because we work? Is that why this is happening? Only if we had a nanny that we could pull him out. There’d be less germs. All the things that we should have, could have woulda. It’s important to kind of realize. Is there anything you can change? But sometimes you have to accept that, okay, these are your circumstances.

 

00;19;19;14 – 00;19;43;17

Dr. Mona

So now how am I going to approach it? We either change how we approach it or we change circumstance. And sometimes circumstances can’t be changed, but gratitude and practice of gratitude will look like such. Okay, here are the things that I’m grateful for. We are handling difficult things and doing it. Look at us. This is really hard. But when things get a little more light and when he’s not sick all the time, we’re going to remember that we are able to handle something very difficult.

 

00;19;43;24 – 00;20;04;19

Dr. Mona

Do I want to handle it again? No, but I am capable and I did it. I survived 100% of my most difficult days. Number two gratitude for modern medicine. Doctors, hospitals. I had gratitude for me having an otoscope at home and being able to diagnose my child if there was an issue. I mean, I just looked for little things that made me feel okay.

 

00;20;04;19 – 00;20;22;22

Dr. Mona

This is something that I’m grateful for. I was also practicing gratitude in looking at his immune system. I’m so grateful that he has this immune system that’s learning every day. It’s working so hard. It’s getting so strong. It’s what this is. He will be fine and it will get better. And also, I looked at the gratitude that he loves his preschool.

 

00;20;22;22 – 00;20;41;16

Dr. Mona

He loves being around his peers, and although he’s sick, he was developmentally thriving. He really loved it. And then also gratitude overall that he’s okay. You know, having gone through something very serious with his stroke and seizures when he was going through the illness, it’s hard. You know, you feel a little bit of anxiety and I get that.

 

00;20;41;21 – 00;20;59;13

Dr. Mona

But then you start to realize, okay, he’s doing okay. We’re monitoring what we need to monitor. And I’m just so grateful that he pulled through. And holding on to that gratitude can really help, like I said, so that you can get through a future illness. You can get through difficult times. Now, how to foster this in yourself and even your children.

 

00;20;59;15 – 00;21;20;12

Dr. Mona

So let’s talk about ways to practice gratitude. So number one practice gratitude during good and bad moments. It can be hard to practice gratitude during difficult times. And the goal is not to always look for silver linings right away. It’s to grieve and to feel, and to look for the things that are supporting you or bringing you joy during that difficulty.

 

00;21;20;15 – 00;21;43;03

Dr. Mona

When my grandmother died end of last year, my mom, who does also practice a lot of gratitude, looked at everyone who came to her funeral, looked at the ability to see her siblings as a source of gratitude. It didn’t bring my grandmother back. My mom obviously lost her mom, and there’s going to be a lot of healing that happened, but it just gave her some hope during a very hard time.

 

00;21;43;05 – 00;22;03;11

Dr. Mona

Another thing I want you to do is let a positive experience sit with you for more than 45 seconds. In order to really rewire the brain, we have to give positive thoughts more time in our brain to allow the rewiring. So write down a positive experience or talk about a positive experience with your partner or a loved one.

 

00;22;03;11 – 00;22;19;14

Dr. Mona

Like share with your partner some really positive things that have happened today or with a friend, and go back and forth. Right? Don’t just you say it and then they’re just sitting like, okay, well, what about me? Share it, share some positive things, and share in that love and that compassion of, wow, that’s really great. I’m so happy for you.

 

00;22;19;14 – 00;22;43;27

Dr. Mona

That sounds wonderful. Share in that excitement. Whether it’s a weekly thing in a gratitude jar, which I’ve talked about on my Instagram, or even better, if you can do it every night, write down a positive experience and the details, like in a journal, for example. What happened, how it made you feel, what you loved about it, anything to make it stick, and writing how things make you feel can stick even more permanently, right?

 

00;22;43;27 – 00;23;04;26

Dr. Mona

Like when someone does something nice for you, or you’re feeling so grateful for x, y, and Z, write that feeling. Because that feeling you’re going to want to remember that feeling, and you’re going to tell your brain that this is a feeling I want to feel. Again, this is a feel good situation. Release those hormones, you brain. I want to feel this over and over.

 

00;23;04;28 – 00;23;28;08

Dr. Mona

The next thing you’re going to do with gratitude is realize when you’re in a negative space. And we’ve all been there. I mean, if you’re listening to this and you’ve told me that you’ve never been in a negative space, I’m like, shocked because we’re human beings. There’s difficult times that we all experience. I’m recording this in early January and I just, like I said, went through a period of negativity, was a day where I just felt like we had a lot on our plate, a lot of decisions.

 

00;23;28;11 – 00;23;48;12

Dr. Mona

But I recognize that I was in this state and I set some boundaries with my husband. I said, look, I’m not in a really great space today. I need to work through it. I was being a little more irritable. I was being a little more 2D, if you will, and I recognize that. And I made more of a point to reset journal and write how I’m feeling.

 

00;23;48;14 – 00;24;13;20

Dr. Mona

And not only just the gratitude feeling I wrote, how I’m feeling with all the not so fun stuff. And then when I did that, when I wrote about all the not fun stuff, then I talk about the gratitude piece. Thank you so much for this. I really am so grateful for this. I love this situation and sometimes it wasn’t related directly to what was, you know, causing me more angst or anxiety, but it just gave me an overall picture that it’s going to be okay.

 

00;24;13;22 – 00;24;33;11

Dr. Mona

I also want you to practice gratitude for others and your family. One thing I love doing is telling Ryan how grateful I am for him. Just out of the blue, just randomly, I’ll be sitting with him and were we eating dinner or playing? And I’ll just say, Ryan, I love you so much. You make me so happy. I love you always.

 

00;24;33;14 – 00;24;50;23

Dr. Mona

And his eyes just kind of light up and he’s like, oh mommy, I love you too. And we sometimes only say, I love you when something happens or, you know, there’s a something was done for you. But I just want him to know that I love him. I’m just thinking about him. I’m looking at his cute little face and I really love him.

 

00;24;50;25 – 00;25;12;12

Dr. Mona

This helps, especially now because Ryan, you know, just turned three and he has that three year old personality which is very strong willed, opinionated, a little more meltdowns than we had when he was two, and that can be difficult. And we went through a little bit of difficulty. We traveled with him across the country. He had a difficult time with a lot of overstimulation with all these friends and family and people he never met.

 

00;25;12;19 – 00;25;33;08

Dr. Mona

And it was very, very hard. And when I do this sort of gratitude exercise, I do it, especially when it’s difficult because it really reminds me of what this parenting thing is all about, right? I know that it’s hard to have kids, but I also know that they’re actually really amazing. They give you a lot of love, and you get to nurture and raise this beautiful kid, and it’s pretty awesome.

 

00;25;33;10 – 00;25;52;24

Dr. Mona

And this doesn’t diminish the difficulty, please remember that. But it allows you to really channel that warm feeling that also, you know, just made me feel more connected to him and my purpose as a parent and who doesn’t love feeling want it. Right. So by telling your child, hey, I really love you, I just wanted to tell you I love you.

 

00;25;52;27 – 00;26;17;04

Dr. Mona

That’s what they’re going to grow up with. They’re going to grow up with the feeling. Well, well, my parent just really loves me and that’s awesome. Do this with anyone you appreciate. So your child, especially your partner, we sometimes forget to thank our partner or just say, hey, I’m just really grateful that you put away the dishes, or I’m really grateful that you noticed I was having a really hard time and you took, you know, Ryan out to the park.

 

00;26;17;04 – 00;26;37;25

Dr. Mona

And I really appreciate that. Sometimes we need to verbalize it and we forget too, in the, you know, humdrum life and everything that happens, we just forget. But it’s so important to verbalize. So tell a friend, your partner, a parent, tell them how much you love them, thank them. If anything, give them a mental thought in your head, wishing them goodness in the world.

 

00;26;38;01 – 00;26;54;01

Dr. Mona

If you can’t talk to them right now as you’re listening to this episode and the remainder of it, just send those thoughts out to all those people in your life that you are so grateful for and just say, I love you. I hope that you’re doing well. Send them a text. Spread that love because you’re gonna get that love back in return.

 

00;26;54;04 – 00;27;11;26

Dr. Mona

And lastly, just appreciate when you’re really struggling. This is going to be hard. But here are some very small examples. And I’m going to give you some personal ones. Like I said, we’re struggling with some really big life decisions in our family and it’s stressful. Okay. And if you’re following my social media, we also just recently got an air fryer.

 

00;27;11;29 – 00;27;27;25

Dr. Mona

And as I’m struggling, we get this air fryer. My husband sets it up and we have these amazing chicken wings. And I’m like, wow, this is delicious. And we were blown away by it. And we were just so happy eating this chicken wings. The food was just so good and I was just so grateful for this air fryer.

 

00;27;27;28 – 00;27;45;22

Dr. Mona

I told my husband, like, wow, this thing is amazing. It’s an air fryer. It’s a machine. But can I tell you me pouring in my gratitude for this air fryer and modern technology it lighten my mood. It didn’t make those big decisions go away. We still have to make those. But my mood is change towards life in general.

 

00;27;45;25 – 00;28;05;02

Dr. Mona

I have my chicken wings. I’m eating, you know, the out of this air fryer, this food that’s delicious. So celebrate the air fryer, celebrate the small things that are happening in your life that other people may just not understand. It doesn’t matter. You need to celebrate the small things as well as the big things when it comes to gratitude, because that is the importance here.

 

00;28;05;02 – 00;28;22;15

Dr. Mona

You can’t always celebrate when good big, grandiose things happen. You need to also celebrate the small things like a little air fryer or whatever it is that comes to your mind. Celebrate having somewhere safe and cozy to sleep. I do this all the time. I go to bed every night and I tell my husband I’m just so cozy in our bed.

 

00;28;22;15 – 00;28;43;13

Dr. Mona

I’m so grateful for our mattress. I’m so grateful for our pillow. It sounds silly, but it’s actually really helpful to end the day with that gratitude. Celebrate that cozy sweater you’re wearing right now. The sweater that you know you have that is just so comfortable. Celebrate that meme you saw and laughed so hard at. Celebrate your health. Just celebrate and appreciate the big and small things.

 

00;28;43;20 – 00;29;07;19

Dr. Mona

We know that life is too short and too much of a roller coaster to miss out on the things worthy of celebrating. So celebrate it. Bring this gratitude into this year and beyond, and I guarantee you will see changes in your self, your relationships, and with your children. And if you don’t see changes by the end of 2023 or a year after you listen to this episode, I want you to send me a message on Instagram.

 

00;29;07;19 – 00;29;29;28

Dr. Mona

But I know you’re going to see change. And if you aren’t following me on my Instagram, I share the gratitude jar idea. This is something I’m going to have you take home with you. And remember I did create. This has been going around social media for years, but every week I do Sundays, I write a positive memory down on a post-it note and then put it in the jar and the jar sits in my kitchen.

 

00;29;30;00 – 00;29;46;16

Dr. Mona

At the end of the year, I read them and I put them in a journal, so I take them out in a journal. So then I have them forever. When you’re having a hard day and are struggling to find gratitude and you know, you really feel like, well, what am I supposed to be grateful about? I want you to sneak into the jar and read a memory you have put in there.

 

00;29;46;19 – 00;30;01;16

Dr. Mona

It’s going to probably have nothing to do what you’re dealing with right now, but I want you to just read it and take a moment and reflect on that, and maybe you made it a little more descriptive, but I hope you did. But I want you to go back to that time or that moment and think about how that experience made you feel.

 

00;30;01;18 – 00;30;21;15

Dr. Mona

Oh, that’s going to release that hormones that I’m talking about that’s going to make you feel good. It’s not going to change the situation you’re currently in, but it’s really going to help you cope and move through. It’s going to fill you and your heart and your mind with positivity. And that is something that is so timeless. Thanks for joining me.

 

00;30;21;18 – 00;30;45;17

Dr. Mona

2023. Here we go. I have a lot in store for you all here on the podcast and on my other social media platform, so make sure to follow me on Instagram at PedsDocTalk and sign up for my email list, and I’ll be welcoming guests again next week. Thank you for tuning in for this week’s episode. As always, please leave a review or share this episode with a friend.

 

00;30;45;17 – 00;30;54;29

Dr. Mona

Share it on your social media. Make sure to follow me at PedsDocTalk on Instagram and subscribe to my YouTube channel, PedsDocTalk TV. We’ll talk to you soon.