On this episode of Monday Mornings with Dr. Mona, I’m talking with Anna about overcoming her fear of advancing solids for her 11.5 month old due to her fears of choking. This is a common fear and we go over how to mindfully overcome this with tips, tricks, and know-how.

We discuss:

• How to overcome fears of advancing food and choking
• How to prepare food with safety and time In mind
• How to handle distracted eating
• The importance of modeling eating behaviors
• How to encourage self-regulation with meals

Make sure to listen to the wrap-up as I share principles that can apply to many various parenting scenarios and for this case—overcoming advancing food anxiety.

00;00;00;01 – 00;00;19;27

Dr. Mona

I don’t want parents to be stuck not advancing food. I want to be very clear here that advancement of food is extremely important from a developmental standpoint. Like I said, I do not want a one year old to only be eating purees because they need to experience other textures. But what you said is right on in that if you have a two year old that you’re still cutting up pieces of food, it is hard sometimes.

 

00;00;19;27 – 00;00;33;11

Dr. Mona

Like you said, when you go on social and you’re seeing people do something more advanced that you’re like, why is my kid not capable? Is it me? And so then it’s going to click in your head in a good way, I hope. And I want to reframe and say, how is this something I want to do for my child?

 

00;00;33;17 – 00;00;48;20

Dr. Mona

Do I not feel comfortable yet? It’s okay if you don’t feel comfortable yet, but then you’re going to set up in your head. I want this as a goal. I want my child to eat a slice of pizza like I eat a slice of pizza, and we’re going to get there. It may not be at one year old like I saw another child on social.

 

00;00;48;20 – 00;00;55;16

Dr. Mona

It may not be at two, but they were going to get there by easing ourselves into it.

 

00;00;55;18 – 00;01;13;22

Dr. Mona

Welcome back to the PedsDocTalk Podcast. You all are really loving this series. The Monday Mornings with Doctor Mona series on this podcast, as well as the finding Joy series, as well as all of the other episodes I have with my guests. So thank you for tuning in each week and all of your reviews and ratings. On this episode.

 

00;01;13;22 – 00;01;38;15

Dr. Mona

I welcome Anna and she has a 11.5 month old daughter named Campbell, and she is struggling with overcoming her fear or anxiety about transitioning her daughter to more textured foods, table foods, adventurous foods because of a fear of choking. And so we’re going to go over so many things that’s going to help guide her, as well as maybe help you as you embark or in your feeding journey with your child.

 

00;01;38;18 – 00;01;45;03

Dr. Mona

Hey Anna, thank you so much for joining me today on the podcast. Tell me what is on your mind today as a mom.

 

00;01;45;06 – 00;02;05;10

Anna

Hey, yeah, excited to be here. And you know, one thing that’s been on my mind as a mom is a lot with some food anxiety and moving beyond purees or some safe, tried and true foods and introducing those new textures and kind of higher choking risk, at least in my opinion. Foods, and being consistent with my little one.

 

00;02;05;13 – 00;02;30;06

Dr. Mona

And what you’re describing is very common. Ideal with this a lot in my practice, the advancement, you know, we want to encourage our child’s development and advance with them. But it can be hard as parents to watch it happen, especially with food and especially around, like you said, the fear of choking. But tell me more, how old is your daughter and where are you right now with the feeding journey?

 

00;02;30;08 – 00;02;58;15

Anna

Yeah, our daughter Campbell is 11.5 months old. Which is also crazy that she’s almost a year old at this point. We started purees around six, six and a half months. She was pretty interested in some of those early purees, and we started moving to slightly softer, solid foods. Probably around like seven and a half, eight months, you know, like really cooked sweet potato or, really cooked carrots.

 

00;02;58;15 – 00;03;16;07

Anna

We do eggs sometimes. And then admittedly a lot of fruit, because fruit is a pretty safe one in my mind that she won’t have too much trouble with. And then yogurt and some things like that. So that’s kind of where we are in our feeding journey, having introduced a lot more beyond that.

 

00;03;16;09 – 00;03;34;14

Dr. Mona

So that’s actually really great that I think you are doing a variety. You know, sometimes I do see families at the one year mark, you said your daughter is like 11.5 months. At the time of this recording, I had met some families who at 12 months or even beyond, have not done anything but puree. So, you know, first thing I want to say, great job with advancing something.

 

00;03;34;14 – 00;03;48;24

Dr. Mona

I get that the fear is there. We’re going to we’re going to talk about that, how we can kind of overcome that. I don’t know if it’s going to be an overnight thing. Sometimes anxieties and worries that we have as parents, it’s not going to be fixed right away. But I really think that by the end of this episode, you’re going to have some tips and tricks that can help you.

 

00;03;49;01 – 00;04;08;11

Dr. Mona

So before I can even help you, I want to know what is the hardest or most frustrating aspect of this issue. Like when you’re sitting there and either preparing meals or watching it happen. Like, tell me more about what you’re feeling as a parent emotionally with this lack of progression of more textured foods or different foods?

 

00;04;08;13 – 00;04;35;10

Anna

Yeah, I think the biggest frustration on our end is it feels like we are limited a little bit and like if we went out to a restaurant or we went out over to a friend’s house for dinner, it’s like I just always feel like I have to have a pouch on hand or something easy, because I don’t want to try different things in new environments, because that makes me a little worried that she’s going to struggle or, you know, be gagging or even worse, in those new environments.

 

00;04;35;10 – 00;04;42;11

Anna

And so I think it kind of holds us back a little bit in terms of being able to kind of go out and do things that are on meal times.

 

00;04;42;13 – 00;04;55;15

Dr. Mona

Yeah. And that can be hard because I think we understand that eating meals are all like a social experience. And, when you go to parties and events and stuff, you don’t know what the set up is going to be and what’s going to be served. And then you have to think about how am I going to cut it?

 

00;04;55;15 – 00;05;04;02

Dr. Mona

Will it be something that I can give safely? All of these things, I think, run through our heads. Is there anything else about this that’s frustrating or concerning to you?

 

00;05;04;05 – 00;05;23;26

Anna

You know, I think one of the things too is like my husband and I, neither of us really like to cook. And so we make pretty simple or on the go meals a lot ourselves. And so I think I feel frustrated with myself, as a working mom, that I’m not putting pre-planning or thought into making special meals for her special preparation.

 

00;05;24;10 – 00;05;44;05

Anna

You know, and I tried some of the baby led weaning stuff, but we had a bad choking scare, so that totally set me back a little bit in terms of not preparing things differently. And so I think that’s another frustration, is I feel like it makes me a little bit like I’m down on myself for being a working mom and not putting enough attention onto it either.

 

00;05;44;08 – 00;06;08;17

Dr. Mona

Well, I relate to you completely with that. You know, when we did this phase, the 11.5 month phase, I was still working full time. Now I’m part time, but I was working full time. I also had that sort of I’m not a great cook. My husband is not home a lot to cook. So hey, I relate to you and this comment so much because you don’t have the time and so you feel guilty because and you also want to advance, like I said, the food and all that.

 

00;06;08;24 – 00;06;32;20

Dr. Mona

But again, we can talk a little bit about that. It’s going to be very important to kind of start to really organize our meals in a way that, okay, I am eating something. How can I make this meal something that my child can also eat? That’s kind of what I started to focus on because rather than preparing separate meals, I’m going to use an example of like one dish that we really eat a lot of, and it’s takeout.

 

00;06;32;26 – 00;06;56;06

Dr. Mona

Is this like chicken dish with tomatoes, kale and some rice. So then I looked at that meal and I would say, okay, this is what we’re getting for lunch. How can I make this meal something that Ryan can eat? So depending on the age of the child, of course we have to understand they have different skills. I’m like a year ahead of you now that Ryan is a more avid eater, has more ability because of just age, teeth, all of that.

 

00;06;56;12 – 00;07;17;07

Dr. Mona

But, child is 11.5 months. Still has the gums to chew all of that. But we can’t give harder things, you know, for choking hazards. But it really comes down to saying, okay, how can I make this something that’s easy for me, that I prepared it for myself? Or even I got it from takeout? I think we vilify takeout, we vilify, packaged foods.

 

00;07;17;14 – 00;07;39;20

Dr. Mona

But I really do want to first normalize that. I know that’s not what we’re talking about completely on this episode, but I want to remind you that that is still nutrition that is still part of your child’s life, that is part of your life. And in a family meal standpoint, if we’re talking about introducing variety of foods to a child, if that is what you and your partner are eating that day, I want to normalize it.

 

00;07;39;20 – 00;08;04;11

Dr. Mona

That is what your child is also getting as well. I also rely heavily on Trader Joe’s frozen meals. We do sunbasket, which is kind of like a, meal delivery service. You know, people do do that, and it just helps me take the guesswork out of, well, what are we going to eat for dinner? That constant conversation that comes up with your partner and then at this age, I do believe that there is more anxiety than a two and a half three year old because of their developmental ability.

 

00;08;04;15 – 00;08;21;08

Dr. Mona

So I think the step one is when I am eating something, do I want to either puree it down because I’m a little concerned that they can’t chew on like a hard piece of chicken, which is understandable if it’s switchable between your fingers and your child doesn’t have their back molars yet, you can give them that, you know, in smaller pieces, right?

 

00;08;21;08 – 00;08;38;11

Dr. Mona

Like switchable in between your forefinger and your thumb, because then you know that they can use their gums to break it down. So I’m going to use an example like a sphere of avocado. Right. If you squish a sphere of avocado between your fingers, it mushes down into a consistency that they can then push back into their throat.

 

00;08;38;17 – 00;08;53;19

Dr. Mona

So you want to make it switchable and you want to make it grab a bowl. Right. That’s going to be somewhere that we start with the number one thing, which I want to make sure that you’re doing and where you’re at right now is have you and your partner taken like an infant CPR and choking class in person?

 

00;08;53;28 – 00;08;59;12

Dr. Mona

To see the difference between gagging and choking and then to also know what to do in those situations? Yeah.

 

00;08;59;12 – 00;09;17;20

Anna

And we thankfully we did too, because, about a month ago, we gave Campbell a very big piece of watermelon, and I was assuming that, you know, she would not chipmunk it or eat the whole thing. We were in a group setting, at a family dinner, and she ended up choking on it. And, you know, it was starting to turn blue.

 

00;09;17;20 – 00;09;42;08

Anna

And thankfully, my husband jumped into action and she got, you know, cleared it, got it out, following all of the right steps. So that was scary yet rewarding in the same weird kind of feeling pain that okay, he he remained calm and was able to take care of it, but also very scary in the fact that I, I think it set me back a little bit because it was, you know, a very difficult thing to watch as a parent.

 

00;09;42;10 – 00;09;56;06

Dr. Mona

How does your husband feel now after that episode with food? Like, is he also more concerned about choking, or has he now understood that I know what to do? I’m obviously going to continue to get safely prepared foods, but I want to know what you feel like. His reaction is now. Yeah, I.

 

00;09;56;06 – 00;10;12;10

Anna

Think his reaction is, okay, I know what to do. And we were able to be okay in this situation. But perhaps we think about what size of the food that we were giving, like this was when I was like, oh no, a big chunk of watermelon baby led weaning. So that’s okay, you know? And she will figure out what she can do.

 

00;10;12;10 – 00;10;31;22

Anna

And so I think we both kind of looked at each other and said, okay, maybe we don’t do that. Or maybe we regulate what new foods or what foods we have in group settings because she’s just too distracted. Yes. To think about what she’s doing and be mindful of that. So we’ve really taken a different look at how we behave in group settings.

 

00;10;31;24 – 00;10;49;29

Dr. Mona

That’s a great point. And I you know, two comments came to mind. One is I don’t know if you knew this, but my son also choked on a piece of watermelon around nine months of age. And it was yeah, I don’t know if you knew that it was watermelon and it was the white part, you know, like watermelon has like the reddish part and then at the base towards the green part, there’s like a little more harder white part.

 

00;10;49;29 – 00;11;10;28

Dr. Mona

Yeah. So my mother in law prepared the watermelon and they showed her how to cut it. But there was a little more of that white part on there. And he choked on that. And we were in the room when it happened. My husband was outside, but me and my mother in law were in the room. And that same thing, he just stopped, you know, there was no sound coming out of his mouth turning color, and I jumped into action.

 

00;11;11;01 – 00;11;34;24

Dr. Mona

I can’t even remember how fast I took him out of that highchair. You know, people often think that they’re not going to get their child out fast enough. But when you literally see your child in distress, it’s like you become this superhero. Yeah, I’m seeing it as someone who, even though I’ve been trained in CPR and first aid, I have never had to dislodge an object from someone even practicing for ten years until it was my own son.

 

00;11;34;24 – 00;11;48;04

Dr. Mona

Yeah, and I say that because I’m not trying to say that just because I’m a physician. I knew what to do. It’s you. When you see your child in distress, it’s almost like an innate, oh my gosh, I got to do this. And you have to know the house. You know, I have to know how to dislodge it.

 

00;11;48;04 – 00;12;19;03

Dr. Mona

You know, obviously, I’m sure your husband turned your child over into his palm or over his leg and gave the back blows in between the shoulder blades. And for anyone listening to this that wants that education, I have it in my new Mom Survival Guide with how to purees, gagging, choking, baby led weaning, all of that. Because knowing what to do in a situation to me is step one to reducing our anxiety and also which I know it can seem kind of hard is watching videos on YouTube on gagging versus choking.

 

00;12;19;03 – 00;12;27;28

Dr. Mona

So you know the difference. It doesn’t sound like you don’t know the difference between gagging and choking, correct? Like you feel comfortable knowing when something’s gagging versus when something’s choking.

 

00;12;27;28 – 00;12;30;11

Anna

Yeah, I do feel comfortable with that difference.

 

00;12;30;13 – 00;12;46;17

Dr. Mona

Okay, awesome. Because that’s to me is a very important difference that I want to make sure you understood. And for anyone who is not familiar, I know in this conversation she is gagging is a child who is going to make a face, you know you’re going to see them like a gag, right? You’re going to see them. Maybe their eyes will water a little bit.

 

00;12;46;17 – 00;13;08;18

Dr. Mona

Their face will make like a little grimace. There’s no color change usually. And they usually have some sound associated. That’s gagging. Choking is color change depending on what complexion your child has. Meaning. If your child is, darker skinned, you may not see them turn blue, quote unquote. But you are going to see either paleness, blueness, purple.

 

00;13;08;18 – 00;13;23;29

Dr. Mona

They’re going to look a different color, and it’s going to be silent where their eyes are wide open and they are staring at you and there’s no audible sound. This is why it’s so important that we’re always watching our child while they eat. Does it mean you need to stare them down in their face and watch every bite?

 

00;13;24;00 – 00;13;44;02

Dr. Mona

No, it means that you need to be in the room with them. Whether that is right by the kitchen. You need to have eyes on them so that you are watching them and hearing them chew, or hearing them swallow or hearing their squeals. Right. You should not be a way out of that room. I want to ask, you said that you gave it in a group experiencing like a party or an event.

 

00;13;44;04 – 00;13;52;18

Dr. Mona

Was your child, standing, sitting. And you said there may have been some distraction, but I’m just curious about the setup. Yeah. The, choking episode.

 

00;13;52;19 – 00;14;04;07

Anna

Yeah. We were all around the table together. And she was at a high chair at the table with the rest of the adults. So she was between myself and my husband, step mom, at the table with probably about ten people around the table.

 

00;14;04;10 – 00;14;19;16

Dr. Mona

And so I think that’s an important concept. And I again, I want to normalize this, that that was exactly what I would have expected. And that’s how our two episode happened. Two, he was sitting, as he normally does, in a high chair. It wasn’t like he was running around. There is a risk of choking, obviously, for a child who has food in their mouth and is running around.

 

00;14;19;16 – 00;14;38;01

Dr. Mona

Right? Yeah. So you did all the right things and I want to normalize that for everyone listening. But the goal in parenting is knowing how to reduce risk. And in this situation, it’s reducing the risk of choking. It does not mean that even with risk reduction, that choking will never happen. But we need to know how can I reduce risk?

 

00;14;38;01 – 00;14;59;07

Dr. Mona

And that is giving a safely prepared food in a sitting position, meaning in a high chair, where they’re not jumping up and down in the highchair and wiggling all around. If that’s the case, and you have a child who’s prone to that, adding a foot rest, maybe something beneficial. But I never had a foot rest for Ryan because he never needed it, and he actually would step up off of it and try to jump off.

 

00;14;59;07 – 00;15;19;07

Dr. Mona

So it wasn’t something that worked for us. But that’s one thing. And then the next thing is being prepared with the choking and the CPR, exposing yourself to. I know it’s hard, but videos of showing you the difference between gagging and choking, which of course doesn’t sound like Anna, you need that. So now we have to figure out how do we get comfortable with the progression.

 

00;15;19;10 – 00;15;29;10

Dr. Mona

And so you said that you don’t apply to eggs. You’ve done, you know, different fruits and stuff. But listen, I’m going to play a little devil’s advocate here. You gave fruit and that’s what she took on.

 

00;15;29;13 – 00;15;34;25

Anna

Yes. But we don’t do watermelon very much anymore. Yeah. Anymore. Yeah. You just I got some other fruits. Yeah.

 

00;15;34;27 – 00;15;50;03

Dr. Mona

Well, no, I say it as like you did everything right. I also prepared the watermelon the right way, you know? But it was in my situation. It was. There was a little more white right to that thing. The reason or just the fact that he took a little bit too much of a bite. This is why we are watching our child.

 

00;15;50;03 – 00;15;57;20

Dr. Mona

And I also want to remind families that I did that. And you also did that. How old was your child? How old was Campbell when the watermelon incident happened?

 

00;15;57;20 – 00;15;59;22

Anna

She was probably about ten, ten and a half months.

 

00;15;59;25 – 00;16;17;11

Dr. Mona

Yes. And that is an appropriate age for even a child who didn’t do baby led weaning. Right. For a child who didn’t do baby led weaning, we do say, hey, you can do more textured foods fishable foods in between your fingers. So the moral of the story here is you are doing the best you can to reduce risk, but we have to be prepared with the choking.

 

00;16;17;11 – 00;16;44;15

Dr. Mona

I’m so grateful that your husband was there sprung into action. I have so many stories of this, okay? I have stories of families who even older children four years old, five years old. So I also want to normalize that choking risk doesn’t decrease just because your child ages into. For adults in restaurants. Choke on steak, right? We need to know how to chew, but we also need to know how to prepare the food, but also just how to dislodge an object.

 

00;16;44;15 – 00;16;57;03

Dr. Mona

And you all are doing that. And I want to really applaud you for having all of the tools you are looking at how to safely prepare foods. What resources are you use to figure out how to cut objects or prepare food?

 

00;16;57;03 – 00;16;59;18

Anna

Yeah, I’ve been using the solid starts up a lot and then.

 

00;16;59;18 – 00;17;01;14

Dr. Mona

Also I, I’m I’m fine with that. Yeah.

 

00;17;01;14 – 00;17;22;05

Anna

And then a lot of your resources honestly of okay what are some different ways to prepare foods and then part of it too I think is just okay if the windpipe is as big as a straw opening. Okay. What make sure everything’s at least a little bit bigger than that. But I’ve shied away from now full pieces or larger pieces because of that incident or the fact that she.

 

00;17;22;05 – 00;17;34;12

Anna

I like to call it chipmunk ING. She just stores it in her cheeks, and then all of a sudden we’ll have a huge chunk that she’s trying to swallow. And that makes me nervous, too. So I do cut things into like just larger than a straw openings, because it’s I.

 

00;17;34;12 – 00;17;50;09

Dr. Mona

Love talking about this. I’m gonna give you some some tips and I hopefully it’ll help you. But with the tip monkey so commonly babies will do that. And yeah, even my toddler son chipmunks food. Sometimes it’s almost like he thinks we’re going to take it away from him. And I’m like, kid, we’re not taking away your food. Like you can be slow with it.

 

00;17;50;26 – 00;18;02;17

Dr. Mona

But one thing that’s going to be really helpful for the chipmunk is I think you know this, but do you mean that she will stuff it quickly without swallowing? Or, like, if all the foods there she’ll she’ll put it in before she’s completely swallowed the stuff before?

 

00;18;02;18 – 00;18;08;00

Anna

Yeah, exactly. Sure. If I have. Yes. Okay. And pieces on the tray. She puts all ten. Yes. In her mouth basically.

 

00;18;08;04 – 00;18;30;17

Dr. Mona

So in a child who’s learning about mindful eating and what I mean by mindful eating is the slow process associated with eating, because to me, mindful eating is such an important principle that I think a lot of adults lack. I am guilty of it too. When I see a plate of chips and salsa, I inhale those things like it’s going to someone’s going to take it away from me, and my husband even has to say it’s not going anywhere.

 

00;18;30;22 – 00;18;48;20

Dr. Mona

Take a bite, chew it, finish that before you reach for the next one. So when we have to teach our child about chip monkeying and we can use that term, we may need to slow down how fast we are putting that food on her plate. So that may mean a little more time that you have to spend there with the meal.

 

00;18;48;20 – 00;19;02;28

Dr. Mona

Like so. Just say you are doing like, let’s see carrots. Okay. Like steamed carrots. You’re going to cut the you’re going to steam it. You’re going to cut it into little strips. You may have to put 1 or 2 at a time. When she finishes that you are with her, you add more and then you add more.

 

00;19;02;28 – 00;19;22;04

Dr. Mona

Once you see that she’s done the chewing with her gums and swallowing it right. This is just to teach them regulation, and you are not prohibiting them from eating as much as they want, because we want them to have their hunger cues and fullness cues, but we are just slowing down the meal. And if they get upset by that, they probably won’t.

 

00;19;22;04 – 00;19;36;22

Dr. Mona

But you are going to give it and be like, here we go, let me see you chew, and you’re going to mimic the opening and closing of your mouth and also model the behavior you want when you eat with her. Or do you have meal times with her often?

 

00;19;36;22 – 00;19;45;01

Anna

Yeah, we try and do at least one meal time with her, whether that’s breakfast or dinner tends to be the two just because we both work during the day so we miss lunch.

 

00;19;45;04 – 00;20;12;25

Dr. Mona

So this is a great age. You know, I believe after nine months, you know, so you can see after six months, but after nine months and your daughter’s 11.5, modeling is extremely useful. So when you are sitting with her, even for that one meal, you are going to be very slow with how you eat and you are going to chew and be very exaggerated with the chewing motion and swallowing and it’s going to seem like you’re putting on a production and you kind of are, but you’re not making it like this sort of stressful experience.

 

00;20;12;25 – 00;20;40;00

Dr. Mona

You are just going to go, And open your mouth and chew slowly and then you’re going to swallow and then you’re going to pick up the next one when you are eating with her. And the modeling behavior with meals is vital because Ryan learned it’s not. I’m not saying that Campbell learned this from any of you, but I do believe that Ryan learned his scarfing down abilities from his mother, because when I’m eating with him, I’m in such a rush and I’m being honest.

 

00;20;40;00 – 00;20;55;18

Dr. Mona

Like I am in a rush because, like, I’m eating and then my dog is barking and he’s coming around, and then I have to do dishes that sometimes I forget to eat slow. And I actually have now reminded myself that, okay, I need to slow it down. So modeling it can be one tip that I would have for the chip monkey.

 

00;20;55;20 – 00;21;04;05

Dr. Mona

Okay, is there any other kind of thing that she’s doing now that kind of freaks you out with? Oh, gosh, I’m afraid that she’s going to choke or what’s going to happen. And we can talk about tips for that, too.

 

00;21;04;07 – 00;21;09;26

Anna

You know, I think the big thing too, is she gets so distracted when she’s eating. And so.

 

00;21;09;26 – 00;21;10;14

Dr. Mona

Yes, she.

 

00;21;10;14 – 00;21;28;19

Anna

Wants to play with anything that’s around her. Even if we remove everything, she then starts trying to reach for the coffeemaker or like whatever’s on the counter. And if she’s in a big group, she starts to become a little ham. Which is my personality coming out. And I think that her best, to go, she she wants to, like, be the center of attention.

 

00;21;28;19 – 00;21;38;22

Anna

So I think that just inherent distractions that I’m trying to remove. But she seems to crave. I don’t know what to do about that either. And that makes me a little nervous.

 

00;21;38;24 – 00;21;46;06

Dr. Mona

It makes you nervous because you feel like when she’s distracted, she’s not focusing on the actual aspect of eating, and that’s more likely going to cause her to choke.

 

00;21;46;09 – 00;21;47;05

Anna

Yeah, exactly.

 

00;21;47;05 – 00;22;14;22

Dr. Mona

Okay. Gotcha. Good. No, I, I want to be clear. So in this situation you are describing the typical 11.5 month old. And this is why I find 11 months to about 18 months, maybe even two years to be the hardest age in parenting so far. Like, I’m only in this for two and a half years so far, but I actually think it’s really hard because of their short term attention span and also the fact that they are heavily distracted and they can’t communicate as much with you, verbally.

 

00;22;14;23 – 00;22;39;28

Dr. Mona

Right. Sometimes if you’re doing sign language or, you know, nonverbal cues. So first, yes, this is completely normal that they are going to be distracted. So we’re going to try to limit distractions as much as possible in a party setting. This is a reality that you it’s not going to be easy. So it may be like you know, having her eat with you, but not in a family table, but having you and her, or maybe you and dad in her eating before everybody else.

 

00;22;39;28 – 00;22;57;09

Dr. Mona

And then once she finishes what she needs, then the whole everyone else comes to when everyone else is there, she can just play with maybe something that’s more safe. She can just be there for the joy. But the actual art of eating is happening prior to the big production going on. This is just one tip if you feel like it will help.

 

00;22;57;12 – 00;23;13;14

Dr. Mona

My tip is you can just continue to do what you were doing, but prepare the food as you will to be safe, and you’re going to watch right as long as you are observing her and you know, again, you’re not staring at her like a hawk and not enjoying your family, but you are watching her. This was one time that this happened.

 

00;23;13;14 – 00;23;21;09

Dr. Mona

It does not mean that it’s going to happen again. Did she get scared by the episode where she’s gagging more, coughing more? No. Right?

 

00;23;21;11 – 00;23;25;05

Anna

No. She said she spat it up. She tried to shove another piece of water.

 

00;23;25;12 – 00;23;42;16

Dr. Mona

Okay, gotcha. Good. I actually think that’s a good thing. People may say, well, I want them to learn that. That’s not a good feeling. I’m like, no, no, no, I don’t want a child to feel scared from the episode because. And then they may not want to ever explore new textures. Right? If she got so scared and she’s a little young, I see this more on like an older child.

 

00;23;42;16 – 00;24;03;25

Dr. Mona

If they choke, they can be so scared that they don’t want to eat that food anymore. But I’m actually happy that you have this situation. But in terms of the limiting distractions, I know you know this. You are going to do what you’re doing. Sometimes parents will want to introduce screen time or toys or something to make them more mindful in the eating.

 

00;24;03;29 – 00;24;36;08

Dr. Mona

One tip that I have that I find to be really helpful is a open cup or some utensil that she may not developmentally be ready to use yet, but it’s part of a meal, if you will, right? Like she may not be using that spoon or 4K, and that’s fine, but it’s part of a meal time, so I rather have her be distracted and play with a spoon or an open cup in a meal than a toy than screen time, because then it does give her a little bit of, okay, I just want to kind of play, and then you may find that she’ll actually use those utensils and that open cup too.

 

00;24;36;14 – 00;25;01;22

Dr. Mona

So it allows us to foster their desire for exploration at meal times and in other times as well. But it also gives them something safe to play with or be distracted with. The kind of has to do with the meal as well. So you may start to find that she’ll use the spoon. You may find that she’ll start to use the open cup, and then it’ll be like a healthy distraction because it has to do with mealtimes, if that makes sense.

 

00;25;01;24 – 00;25;17;25

Anna

Yeah. Is using a straw cup in those instances okay too? Because we use a straw and she can drink. She loves to drink water out of a straw cup. So that’s also another way where I, I think I help make sure her mouth is clear. So if she’s drinking water she is able to, you know, she doesn’t have anything stuck in her mouth.

 

00;25;17;25 – 00;25;19;05

Anna

Potentially.

 

00;25;19;08 – 00;25;35;15

Dr. Mona

I don’t mind a star cup either. The reason why I originally just mentioned the Open Cup is that is something that they can mount, like, you know, they can kind of put it in their mouth and kind of practice the skill during meal times, because I do think that the best practice for open cup use is during meals when they’re seated down.

 

00;25;35;18 – 00;25;52;29

Dr. Mona

I find it harder to practice Open Cup if they’re running around and if they’re, you know, things will spill everywhere. So just from a cleanliness mom to mom tip, that is why I like the open cup at meals is that it’s a harder skill and also just for cleanliness. And you know, you put water in there, it dumps down on the high chair fine.

 

00;25;52;29 – 00;26;08;11

Dr. Mona

It’s water. If she dumps it into her bib or wherever it goes, it’s water. It’s fine. And then they can kind of mouth it. Sometimes Ryan’s used it to scoop up food and out of the open cup. I mean, these are all just kind of ways, but it is fine if she likes that strong cup that if you want to mix it up there.

 

00;26;08;23 – 00;26;12;07

Dr. Mona

But this is just me trying to encourage that open cup use.

 

00;26;12;09 – 00;26;15;06

Anna

Yeah, absolutely. No, I think that’s a great tip. Yeah.

 

00;26;15;08 – 00;26;27;10

Dr. Mona

And then the next thing I wanted to talk about was, you know, this advancement of stuff. So in your mind, what are some foods that you want to advance to at 11.5 months. You feel like, oh, maybe she can do it, but you just are more reserved with right now.

 

00;26;27;13 – 00;26;47;12

Anna

I definitely think meat or like proteins are one that she could advance to. You know, she’s on the little side. She’s only in the 10 to 15 percentile of size. So I also my husband and I are both petite people, so I don’t want her to get too far behind from that standpoint. And so, you know, proteins or sources of iron I think are are really important.

 

00;26;47;12 – 00;27;04;04

Anna

So like, you know, we eat a lot of chicken or we eat a lot of, like chicken sausage and pastas, that kind of stuff are some things I want to introduce to her. Also some leafy greens like can she eats spinach? Can she eat arugula? Like, those are things that I like to eat with a little side salad.

 

00;27;04;04 – 00;27;13;00

Anna

So, I think those are kind of like the next areas that I want to explore into. That I’m just a little nervous too right now.

 

00;27;13;02 – 00;27;23;26

Dr. Mona

And so talking about the meats you prepare things for, you and your partner, you’ve prepared things as ground meats, shredded meats, like how do you prepare those kind of meat like the chicken or let’s say something else.

 

00;27;23;28 – 00;27;44;00

Anna

Yeah. So we’ll do like ground meat for like hamburgers or turkey burgers a lot. Sometimes they’re frozen patties. Right. We just on the off. It’s a quick night. And then for chicken, when we’re cooking it, it’s usually either grilled, if it’s in the summer, grilled chicken, or I’ll use the crockpot and just make, like, a bunch of shredded chicken that we can use throughout the week.

 

00;27;44;03 – 00;28;05;11

Dr. Mona

And so using this concept that we mentioned earlier of how those types of foods are switchable between your fingers, right? I do like brown and shred to brown meat, but that’s kind of hard for a child to feed themselves. If you’re doing more of self-feeding, you know, you can pre-load the spoon and kind of help guide them like it’s not easy for them to scoop up ground meat, you know, even like they’re going to use their hands, if you will.

 

00;28;06;06 – 00;28;20;26

Dr. Mona

Shredded meat. I really do like some shredded chicken. But when you cook it and I know you said that you’re not a great cook. And I’m not either. So just say one thing I really liked was I would get a rotisserie chicken from Publix, which is our local grocery store. Okay. And it’s made for you. It’s chicken.

 

00;28;21;03 – 00;28;42;07

Dr. Mona

And they cook it so tender. So you go to your local grocery store and see if they have a chicken. And when you take off the skin, right, because the skin is too hard for them. Right? So you take off the entire skin and then now you are going to strip off shredded meat pieces, and you are going to make them in little long pieces that are, again, when you put them between your fingers, they’re going to squish in between.

 

00;28;42;14 – 00;29;04;17

Dr. Mona

These are ways that I found, especially at the age of your daughter, that helped encourage that sort of shredded meat protein. And then we talked about browned meat and vegetables like spinach, all of that. Absolutely. I am not sponsoring them, but I do love them. Solid starts. Their database is phenomenal. It really is. And I do like it.

 

00;29;04;17 – 00;29;28;07

Dr. Mona

I actually used it myself. I recommend it to my families. I always thought about making something similar, but like I’m never going to be able to compare to that. And why? Because why reinvent the wheel of someone who’s doing something phenomenal? So yes, anyone listening to this, their database is really spot on with how to prepare. And so with spinach for her age, chopping it up, cooking it or rather the size is going to be small enough.

 

00;29;28;07 – 00;29;50;14

Dr. Mona

And she can either use her pincer grasp the forefinger and her thumb or permit. But the way that you’re making that is actually very soft, you know, and even if it’s raw, it’s still small, small pieces. I’m worried so much more of the big chunky hot dog pieces and the, steak pieces, you know, things I kind of describe it to families who are worried.

 

00;29;50;19 – 00;30;13;06

Dr. Mona

Things that you need your back molars for, like when you’re eating food. Okay. And you immediately put things into your back molars and you have to chew for a long time. That is something that I don’t think your child’s ready for. Now. That is going to be an advanced skill that we work towards, and that’s kind of my kind of motto, because if I have to, you know, steak, steak, you have to put into the back of your back teeth.

 

00;30;13;06 – 00;30;31;27

Dr. Mona

Right? You can’t use your front teeth. You got to go back there and you got a two choo choo choo choo. And so you got to make sure that you’re cooking it pretty tender, that you’re not like. It’s not so rough, if you will. But that is something that you can try that may help. And then really just patience with her, with how she’s doing, with the advancement.

 

00;30;31;27 – 00;30;48;14

Dr. Mona

Because in our heads we may say, okay, she’s going to do this and it’s going to be amazing, and she’s going to eat this immediately. And as you all know, this is not an immediate thing with children. You could introduce the food even in the way that they should be eating it. And they still will say, I don’t know about this, but flavor it up.

 

00;30;48;14 – 00;31;01;21

Dr. Mona

If you’re going to do spinach, arugula, seasonings, all of that so that she can enjoy it, as we would too. I don’t eat bland spinach, so I don’t think, you know, I would ever give it to my son Ryan. And I think you would be the same way with Campbell.

 

00;31;01;24 – 00;31;09;10

Anna

Yeah. No, that’s really good advice. And I think the seasoning is where I start to like, oh, Kenji have that. Does that have too much sodium? I like crippled myself. No, all.

 

00;31;09;10 – 00;31;09;19

Dr. Mona

100.

 

00;31;09;19 – 00;31;13;13

Anna

Percent. That probably don’t matter or don’t matter. You’re right. I think together.

 

00;31;13;15 – 00;31;32;05

Dr. Mona

And can I tell you something? I, I think social media has made it a problem. I appreciate accounts for talking about sodium and all of that, but I used to follow a big feeding account, and I stopped when they started talking about regulating sodium. And as a pediatrician, I’m telling you, as someone who sees children every day, I know how the kidneys work.

 

00;31;32;05 – 00;31;54;28

Dr. Mona

I know how sodium works. Unless you are giving them just liquid sodium or you or, you know, things like canned soup, canned soup, they do have a lot of sodium and it is very salty under one. But besides that, if you are cooking something or bought something from a grocery store that you as an adult are eating as well, safe to go from the moment you start solids, you can start slow.

 

00;31;55;01 – 00;32;12;18

Dr. Mona

I know you’re well past this phase, but for anyone who’s a little bit earlier in the feeding journey to see, you know, four and a half months, six months, whatever your study period is baby led weaning season for the food. No one wants to eat bland food. You start slow. And what I mean by that is you’re going to start with something like light, like a little salt, little pepper.

 

00;32;12;18 – 00;32;33;14

Dr. Mona

And as your child’s gut tolerates it, they’re not having like upset diarrhea, stomach, all of that. You can give more and more oregano, all the different spices that you like turmeric, garlic. But you’re going to squeeze into it based on how you see your child doing. And yeah, by nine, ten months, my son was eating chilies like spicy foods because of our exposure.

 

00;32;33;14 – 00;32;52;18

Dr. Mona

And that’s what we eat as a family. And going back to your comment, I’m in your boat. I’m not this amazing cook. A lot of this was store bought. A lot of it was utilizing grandma’s help. When she came, I’m like, hey mom, can you make this for me? And really just utilizing the resources we have with meals and normalizing that you are doing a good job.

 

00;32;52;18 – 00;33;16;27

Dr. Mona

You are providing nutrition for your child, even if it’s not always a home cooked meal, even if it is a packaged Trader Joe’s meal, even if it’s something that is leftovers. It’s all food. It’s all food, and it’s what you’re eating. And I want to help alleviate that anxiety. I know that’s not what you’re an intentional comment was on this episode, but it’s important because all of this affects how we show up to the meal, right?

 

00;33;16;27 – 00;33;37;28

Dr. Mona

It also affects our anxiety because if you feel guilty about what you’re serving your child right, or you feel like it’s not good enough, and I’ve been there, okay, that I’m not a great cook, and then they refuse, or then they don’t eat it, or then they start gagging and then it’s all this stuff. Then you already are dealing with that anxiety, but then you’re also dealing with, well, it’s because I can’t make nice things.

 

00;33;37;28 – 00;33;58;17

Dr. Mona

Maybe he or she doesn’t like this food like and I want to really normalize it. It’s not you. It’s your child’s learning development, your child’s learning how to eat, and your approach to the meal time is going to really impact her as well. And I think you and your husband are doing a phenomenal job. And I think you also mentioned about pastas, right?

 

00;33;58;17 – 00;34;19;21

Dr. Mona

You haven’t introduced much pastas yet, correct? Yeah. And so one thing that really helps is okay preparing it accordingly. I like starting with tubular pasta. So like, you know, like a rigatoni or something or a penny would be fine, actually, for a tubular pasta and then you’re just going to cut it in half, so it’s not going to be the entire tube.

 

00;34;19;21 – 00;34;34;22

Dr. Mona

You’re just going to cut it in half because in your head you could be like, well that’s just going to go down her hair way. So you cut it in half with that long. It’s that very long. You know, it’s a piece of pasta cut in half and it’s going to be cooked very soft. You’re not going to cook it where it’s, you know, very hard.

 

00;34;34;22 – 00;35;02;13

Dr. Mona

Like a lot of people do eat their pastas, especially adult. You’re going to cook it soft and that’s how you’re going to do it. And maybe just start simple with no pasta sauces, whatever. I think it’s reasonable to start with the sauces like you would eat as well. You can porter ravioli, you can chop noodles up. So at some point with our son, by the way, like we were cutting up his pizza slices, cutting up his noodles up until, like, two and a half years old because of my my also concern with choking.

 

00;35;02;13 – 00;35;24;05

Dr. Mona

And then as you see, Campbell explore foods, you are going to get more comfortable with how you prepare the food without even looking at solid starts, without even looking at anything. You are just going to understand by looking at your daughter. I see her being capable. Yes, there’s things that we’re still going to avoid, like popcorn, chips, nuts, things like that.

 

00;35;24;07 – 00;35;41;26

Dr. Mona

But can I be honest with you, I’m being perfectly candid. When we are watching Ryan and observing him. We have given him popcorn. We have given him tortilla chips. These are choking hazards. But he’s two and a half and we are looking at how he’s chewing. We are with him. We are coaching him when he’s eating these foods.

 

00;35;41;28 – 00;35;57;10

Dr. Mona

And you know, you want to make sure that if you are going off of the recommendations that you know your child’s development and you may not get there for another year, another two years, you may be like me who cuts a pizza, slices up until he was two and a half, and then one time you’re like, oh crap, all the other kids are eating one pizza slices.

 

00;35;57;10 – 00;36;17;12

Dr. Mona

Maybe we should do the same. And we did it. We were like, okay, let’s do it. I told my husband, I’m like, we don’t need to cut it up any more. Let’s see how he does. And we gave him like half a pizza slice, like a New York style pizza slice. And he ate the bite, and then he chewed and we had to stop him at two and a half from shoving the entire pizza slice into his mouth because he didn’t understand.

 

00;36;17;19 – 00;36;35;27

Dr. Mona

So even as your child gets older, you are going to still do the same mantra where you are going to be patient with them. Model the chewing behavior that you want. So if they shove a piece of food in their mouth, you need to say, okay, let’s see. Let’s try doing a bite at a time. Hey, Campbell, can you show me how you take a bite?

 

00;36;36;00 – 00;36;55;17

Dr. Mona

Very nice job, Campbell and chew. Show me chewing. Chew, chew. Very good chewing. And you’re applauding those behaviors, the bites that they take and not shoving everything into their mouth. The mindful eating of taking one at a time and the chewing. And now that’s what we do with our son. And it really helps him, because now he gets it.

 

00;36;55;17 – 00;37;22;20

Dr. Mona

He’s like, oh, this is social norm. Like I’m not supposed to shove an entire falafel ball into my mouth. You know, I’m supposed to take a bite. And it does mean observation. It does mean us sitting with him with these new foods and saying, hey, let’s take a bite of it. And then holding a falafel ball and seeing how Campbell, when she starts to get more teeth, you know, well, we’ll take a bite and then allowing them another bite and then they’ll be able to do it on their own because you showed them with your own hands.

 

00;37;22;27 – 00;37;55;15

Dr. Mona

So I say this because sometimes I think what happens is with baby led weaning, we get so caught up in the self feeding aspect and it’s so important. But even as they get older, you may need to be the one to hold the food so that they can learn the techniques and that is reasonable. Eating is a social experience, and so sometimes we need to make it a little social as they learn holding the pasta, showing her how you eat it, showing her how to do the ground chicken, a plotting her and saying great job with chewing.

 

00;37;55;15 – 00;38;06;04

Dr. Mona

Very nice. And that is going to make Campbell feel like so empowered. And then also understand this norm of how we chew food. And I think that’s going to really help in an overall sense.

 

00;38;06;06 – 00;38;14;28

Anna

Yeah, I think so too. And I think it’s just the spending time in the emulating. And my husband and I are both guilty of scarfing food down as well. So yeah.

 

00;38;14;28 – 00;38;32;22

Dr. Mona

And so I know it because I do the same thing. And I think that’s where they get it from. I’m going to be. And I hope you know, that as a way of not not shaming because I’m the same way. Right? It’s just understanding that they are mirrors of us. They are going to see what we do and they and that is extremely vital information, because I saw it happening with Ryan and I’m like, oh crap.

 

00;38;32;22 – 00;38;50;01

Dr. Mona

Like, I gotta slow down. How I eat. And it’s helped. It will help you because I’ve seen it, I’ve seen it happen. And he now is more mindful because I’m being more mindful. And this is all like I talk about the sort of, how we show up and it does take long. You know, I get it being a working mom, or working dad.

 

00;38;50;01 – 00;39;06;22

Dr. Mona

Like, I get it, it’s very hard to take the time during these meals, but all doing all this for a few weeks and a month is going to pay off in the long term versus not doing it. And then it’s a longer issue. And then, you know, she’s has a choking episode or she doesn’t know how to chew, and then she’s still scarfing down food.

 

00;39;06;25 – 00;39;10;11

Dr. Mona

It’s going to pay really big in the long run. And I think you’ll see it.

 

00;39;10;13 – 00;39;12;13

Anna

Yeah, absolutely.

 

00;39;12;28 – 00;39;18;10

Dr. Mona

I’m so glad that we got to talk. I love talking about meals, and I love talking about food. And I hope it was helpful to you.

 

00;39;18;13 – 00;39;33;17

Anna

Yeah, this was really help. I think there’s a lot of tips in there. And I think it’s also reassuring that regulating how much she’s getting at one time or, you know, handing her piece by piece isn’t doing anything wrong. It’s helping to do some of those skills too. So I think your point about social media is, is very fair.

 

00;39;33;17 – 00;39;54;13

Anna

And social media, or comparing myself with other moms that have children around my age and, well, their son’s eating, you know, full pieces of salmon or whatever the situation is. You know, you just it’s easy to think that what you’re doing is wrong or, or you’re not sure how things are going. So it’s super helpful to have some resources and, and even just some reassurance that it’s all right.

 

00;39;54;15 – 00;40;17;16

Dr. Mona

Because what I want parents to understand is I don’t want parents to be stuck not advancing food. I want to be very clear here that advancement of food is extremely important from a developmental standpoint. Like I said, I do not want a one year old to only be eating purees because they need to experience other textures. But what you said is right on, and that if you have a two year old that you’re still cutting up pieces of food, it is hard sometimes.

 

00;40;17;16 – 00;40;31;00

Dr. Mona

Like you said, when you go on social and you’re seeing people do something more advanced that you’re like, wait, is my kid not capable? Is it me? And so then it’s going to click in your head in a good way, I hope. And I want to reframe and say, how is this something I want to do for my child?

 

00;40;31;05 – 00;40;46;09

Dr. Mona

Do I not feel comfortable yet? It’s okay if you don’t feel comfortable yet, but then you’re going to set up in your head. I want this as a goal. I want my child to eat a slice of pizza like I eat a slice of pizza and we’re going to get there. It may not be at one year old like I saw another child on social.

 

00;40;46;09 – 00;41;03;11

Dr. Mona

It may not be at two, but they were going to get there by easing ourselves into it. And I think when we have fears with choking, I think we have to normalize the fear and say this is something really important to feel. This is something very valid to feel, but also I need to now combat it with the know how.

 

00;41;03;13 – 00;41;24;21

Dr. Mona

How am I going to deal with it if it happens. And that’s, you know, choking CPR, education, how to properly cut the food and how to stop that comparison game when you feel like my kid is not doing as much as another child when you are, like I said in this episode, providing so much nutrition, so much variety for your child already and is it what everyone else is doing?

 

00;41;24;23 – 00;41;33;28

Dr. Mona

No, but that doesn’t matter. This is your feeding journey with Campbell and your family’s feeding experience overall is what matters most. So I’m so happy that we could talk today.

 

00;41;33;28 – 00;41;35;28

Anna

Yeah, thank you very much.

 

00;41;36;10 – 00;41;43;26

Dr. Mona

And what would be like, I guess, one take home that you’re like, I’m going to start doing this tomorrow. I’m sure there’s a few. But like, the biggest thing that you want to take home from this episode.

 

00;41;43;29 – 00;42;05;28

Anna

I think the biggest thing is we know what to do if something goes wrong. And so just trust that Campbell has the skills to move beyond just some of the safe things that we’ve tried. So, I do admittedly travel the next few days for work, but when I get home, I think we’re going to try some shredded chicken or something that’s just easy and and comfortable from like a safety standpoint.

 

00;42;05;28 – 00;42;10;22

Anna

But moving into that protein or different types of food world.

 

00;42;10;25 – 00;42;27;06

Dr. Mona

I love it and I can’t wait to hear how it goes. You’re going to have to update me, because I think it’s going to really be something that you’ll see again, slow progress. The goal here is not overnight change. I always love overnight change, but I respect the fact that children don’t always follow the timeline and you are going to see the progression.

 

00;42;27;06 – 00;42;31;07

Dr. Mona

You are going to see it in her own time, in your own time. And I can’t wait to hear more from you.

 

00;42;31;10 – 00;42;33;20

Anna

Awesome! Thank you so much!

 

00;42;33;22 – 00;43;02;08

Dr. Mona

I loved talking to Anna about her concerns, and it’s a concern that so many parents share with me in my office, and I wanted to put this out here on this podcast. I wanted to wrap up this episode, as I do with all Monday mornings with Doctor Mona episode with season three take home points and remember, these take home points can be applied to many different parenting situations, but I’m going to explain how it applies to overcoming your fear of advancing food textures because of choking.

 

00;43;02;10 – 00;43;22;15

Dr. Mona

So the first thing I want to remind you is to be very patient with your child and understand their development, and this is why resources like this podcast, my course, the New Mom Survival Guide solid starts these. There’s so many amazing resources out there, but you want to be very patient with yourself and your child. And this can be really hard.

 

00;43;22;15 – 00;43;43;09

Dr. Mona

You know you’re trying to provide nutrition, provide food, but also trying to understand your child’s development. So that is why it’s really important to remember that you’re going to cut the foods in a way that your child can handle it. Your child does not need teeth to be able to, quote unquote, chew, but you want to make sure that you are preparing the food where it’s soft, squeezable, between your fingers to start out.

 

00;43;43;09 – 00;44;01;01

Dr. Mona

And resources like the solid starts first food database are amazing and again, not sponsored, but I just really support that. To help guide you on how to prepare the food and be patient with your child as you go through this process. The second take home, which is really important, is that you have to model the behavior that you want.

 

00;44;01;04 – 00;44;22;10

Dr. Mona

So I talked to Anna about this in multiple different scenarios. But monkey, if your child is putting all the food in their mouth, you will need to sit with them and show them what you want them to do. Mindful eating, the speed that we’re eating. I was someone who just scarfs down food, and I had to be really aware of that when I started seeing Ryan do it too.

 

00;44;22;10 – 00;44;43;10

Dr. Mona

And I was like, he’s scarfing down his food, but when we eat together, I’m honestly in a rush and sometimes I am scarfing down food. So I start to slow down how I ate and encouraged Ryan to do the same by modeling it. Remember, our children are going to learn by watching us, and so much of their learning is not even verbal from us.

 

00;44;43;10 – 00;45;04;03

Dr. Mona

It’s the actions that we do so if we’re trying to teach our child to slow down with meals or take bites, and we are literally scarfing down food even though we’re older and we can possibly chew better than they can, they are going to see that as the norm. So you want to slow down the food. The example that I say is when I’m eating like chips and salsa, I’ll eat it and I’ll put the chip and immediately put the next one before I even swallow.

 

00;45;04;08 – 00;45;25;07

Dr. Mona

And I was noticing Ryan was doing something very similar with the foods that he was eating. So it’s really important to remember that you want to model the behavior you want, whether it is chipmunk ING the food and stuffing their face with food, the speed, the chewing. You want to be very exaggerated with those movements, especially when your child is younger and learning how to move their jaw up and down.

 

00;45;25;13 – 00;45;45;07

Dr. Mona

You are going to move your face up and down and show your face to be very excited about it and very happy about it. This is not a stressful experience, and you want to bring the calm in the experience of eating so that they understand that this is an enjoyable process and they are capable of that skill of chewing, taking bites and all of the things that we’re trying to teach them.

 

00;45;45;09 – 00;46;04;15

Dr. Mona

And the last tip, which is more of a mindful parenting tip, is avoiding the comparison game. When you are dealing with a child who may be more restrictive with their eating, or you yourself are more concerned about choking and want to take it slower when you go on social media, you see your friends eating everything. It can make you feel like a not so great parent.

 

00;46;04;17 – 00;46;25;17

Dr. Mona

But what I want you to focus on is what your goals are in feeding. And maybe you’re going to take some baby steps. Maybe you’re going to look at a goal for the next week, the next two weeks, and the next month. Let’s take I want to advance my child to a certain texture. I want to really introduce my child to shredded chicken, rather than focusing on that child who’s eating a full chicken, not cutting it up.

 

00;46;25;17 – 00;46;45;20

Dr. Mona

And it’s the same age as your child that is that family’s comfort. You may have different level of comfort here with food, so you are going to focus on baby steps. You are going to say in the next two weeks, I really want to introduce this. I do not want you to get complacent and say, I’m never going to do it because advancement is important, like I mentioned, but you’re going to make the steps that work for you.

 

00;46;45;22 – 00;47;06;02

Dr. Mona

And when you have anxiety about feeding and choking, it may mean that you have to ease yourself into it. And let’s normalize this. And when you start to compare yourself with other people, other children who may be the same age as your child, remember a few things one. They may have a different level of comfort. Number two, that child just may be different developmentally.

 

00;47;06;08 – 00;47;24;27

Dr. Mona

And number three, you can get there. Also, when we start to compare and think, wow, my kid is not doing that. Oh my gosh, we get into the cycle of it’s never going to happen for us, but we have to tell ourselves it’s going to happen. This is something that I’m capable of too, and I’m going to get there with my child on our own time.

 

00;47;24;29 – 00;47;44;09

Dr. Mona

As always everyone, I am loving these episodes and the entire podcast. It brings me so much joy to produce these episodes every week. Show the love so make sure you are leaving! Reviews, ratings, and if you like this episode, make sure you screenshot it and share it on your social media channels, especially Instagram, and tag me so I can tag it as well.

 

00;47;44;09 – 00;47;55;19

Dr. Mona

And we can share the love. More people can discover this podcast and we can continue to grow so we can get this education, empowerment and motivation out there for all of you. And I will talk to another parent next.