#PhilipsPartner The fourth trimester is hard for many reasons, and feeding difficulties can impact a parent’s mental well-being. But how so, and why do feeding difficulties play a role in our mental state?

On this episode, I’ll discuss:

• How challenges in newborn feeding can impact maternal mental well-being.
• Why we need to utilize our support system and #ShareTheCare postpartum.
• How to protect our mental well-being AND focus on our postpartum feeding goals.

To learn more about Philips Avent and their suite of baby products that allow you to share the care, visit avent.com.

00;00;01;02 – 00;00;20;16
Dr. Mona
As moms, we tend to think we need to be the one. The one to sue. The one to be there and the one to do it all. But sometimes what we really need is to rely on our team to help. Sometimes we need to share the care and recognize when we can utilize the help. Hello PedsDocTalk podcast listeners.

00;00;20;17 – 00;00;44;12
Dr. Mona
I’m Doctor Mona. Thank you so much for being here. I know the juggle is real as parents, and I so appreciate you taking time out of your day to tune in. This episode is sponsored by Philips Advent, a global leader in mother and child care. Philips Advent is on a mission to rally the community, to step up, to share the care for baby, postpartum and beyond, and support you through the fourth trimester.

00;00;44;15 – 00;01;09;08
Dr. Mona
As a mom of two. Pediatrician and certified lactation consultant, I’ve witnessed firsthand the impact that feeding challenges can have during the newborn period. Whether you’re breastfeeding, formula feeding, or both, newborn feeding challenges can significantly affect you as a parent. Challenges during the newborn period can look like difficulty nursing. Despite the common belief that, quote, it should come naturally.

00;01;09;10 – 00;01;32;00
Dr. Mona
Painful nursing experiences, often leading to nipple trauma and fears of nipple trauma. Feeling overwhelmed like you’re unable to do it all, and needing support with night feeds, day feeds, or calming your baby. Which is why establishing your village to support you is so important. Challenges with reflux and spit ups, which I call the ultimate fourth trimester joy stealer.

00;01;32;07 – 00;01;57;20
Dr. Mona
Struggling with low milk supply issues and worrying your baby is not getting enough nutrition. Juggling the demands of combo feeding or triple feeding to boost milk supply. Struggling with too much milk supply and dealing with painful full breasts. The sleep deprivation that comes with feeding every few hours, especially when managing solo feeds, leading to a repetitive cycle that takes a toll on your mental health and physical well-being.

00;01;57;22 – 00;02;26;21
Dr. Mona
Facing the disappointment of nursing not working despite many efforts sometimes resulting in the introduction of formula, which was not the initial plan. The online shame of formula feeding. If you need to supplement or choose to formula feed exclusively and experiencing a lack of lactation education and support, whether it be from your partner or someone else, it’s clear that new moms face a myriad of new obstacles when it comes to feeding their newborn.

00;02;26;23 – 00;02;51;12
Dr. Mona
Like I just went over. Maybe you’ve experienced one of these, or maybe you will. So many of these challenges boil down to a few things a lack of support, sleep deprivation, judgment, and shame for our choices and expectations. Not meeting reality with our own plan for newborn feeding. These challenges can significantly impact our postpartum mental state and overall well-being.

00;02;51;18 – 00;03;17;14
Dr. Mona
When expecting a baby, there’s excitement and nerves. I hope you are surrounded by uplifting, realist people who speak truthfully, but also remind you that hard phases pass and support you through both the ups and the downs. Once the baby arrives, it’s worth getting to know your new baby. Learning their hunger cues, their sleepy cues, what their grimaces mean, and even appreciating those cute little faces they make when they poop.

00;03;17;16 – 00;03;47;26
Dr. Mona
In those early months, there aren’t milestones to focus on, like tantrums, potty training, or character building that parents of older kids think about. Instead, it’s all about building the social and emotional bond and feeding baby, putting them to sleep, and then repeating it all each day. But when those two things aren’t working or going according to plan, feeding and sleep, these two things that we are supposed to be doing in society seems to tell us should come naturally, and they do not.

00;03;47;29 – 00;04;10;06
Dr. Mona
It can be incredibly overwhelming to new parents. I’ve spoken to so many new moms who feel like failures in those early days. If they have to supplement with formula or formula feed exclusively when their expectation was to nurse their baby. I’ve spoken to moms who feel like they’re not worthy of being a mom because their baby won’t settle to sleep, or they can’t figure out how to nurse.

00;04;10;09 – 00;04;32;13
Dr. Mona
They feel they’re incapable. They feel lost because society tells them you’re a mom. This is innate and you should know how to do this. You should know how to nurse and nourish your child from your body, and comfort your child to sleep when it’s not working. It can make any new mom feel anxious, sad, and negatively impact mom’s well-being.

00;04;32;15 – 00;04;54;25
Dr. Mona
These feelings of not being worthy, capable, or able to nourish or comfort your own baby, or worrying if your baby is getting enough to eat or feed, can make any parent feel so alone and impact mental wellness. I hope this message reminds you that you are not alone. Maybe you’re listening to this before you have a child. Maybe you’re in the difficult weeks of postpartum.

00;04;55;02 – 00;05;24;22
Dr. Mona
Or maybe you are past this phase and are listening back and reflecting. Regardless, I hope you know that postpartum it’s hard newborn feeding difficulties. There are real and they’re hard and you’re not alone. So how do we navigate this? When it comes to making a decision to nurse, it’s important to have the right support. This means in your partner, in a lactation consultant and whoever else is supporting you in those first few weeks when nursing is really hard.

00;05;24;24 – 00;05;48;23
Dr. Mona
Part of the process is reevaluating your goals with your supportive team and yourself. I sometimes get moms whose goals are to solely nurse, and their milk supply is taking a while to come in. This is a wonderful goal, but sometimes it may mean pumping and or supplementing. While you establish supply and then reassessing goals. Remember, goals can change.

00;05;48;29 – 00;06;11;18
Dr. Mona
You can always change your mind if something isn’t working for you, especially in those early weeks of postpartum. When it comes to the overwhelming thoughts of nursing and wanting more support, it’s key to think about your overarching goals. Sometimes nursing may be the goal, and it’s going really well, and sometimes it may be pumping or supplementing with formula so you can utilize the help of other caregivers and get more rest.

00;06;11;20 – 00;06;37;25
Dr. Mona
You should never feel like wanting more rest or needing help. Isn’t being mom enough? On the contrary, taking care of you means that you can recharge so that your baby is better taken care of. In many cultures, mothers have a large group of support, so even if they’re nursing, there are other people to help with tasks around the house like cooking, cleaning, settling the baby, etc. but this isn’t always the case in the United States.

00;06;38;01 – 00;07;00;15
Dr. Mona
We need to remember the power in asking and receiving the help. For me, I was grateful to nurse my daughter Vera, but I got sick postpartum with complications. I eventually got more sick and the nursing became painful. Her legs would kick my wires and tubes that I had from the complications, or she would grab my nipple with her gums and I would wince in pain.

00;07;00;15 – 00;07;24;17
Dr. Mona
And it wasn’t enjoyable anymore. I needed rest, so I turned to exclusive pumping and bottle feeding. We used the Philips Avon Anti Colic bottle with air free vent to allow other members of my caregiving team to help feed her and help support me. She got formula until I could build up a supply with exclusive pumping. And then we went to 100% pumped milk.

00;07;24;19 – 00;07;46;10
Dr. Mona
If you’re nursing, it’s important to remember you do not have to do it alone. Another caregiver can help with changing diapers, consoling your baby, and settling your baby down to sleep. When we fall into this narrative and trap, that baby must do it all. Even postpartum, we can really set ourselves up for isolation and a huge hit to our mental well-being.

00;07;46;16 – 00;08;10;16
Dr. Mona
It’s incredibly important that moms take time for themselves in those early days, small acts of self-care, whether it be relishing in a moment of solitude, exercising when you’re clear to do so, reading or whatever else moms do to refuel can make a world of difference. But we need to rely on our community to do that and our support system when it comes to wanting to nurse.

00;08;10;16 – 00;08;31;04
Dr. Mona
But switching to formula and feeling guilty, I want to remind you of something. Breast milk is incredible, but formula is incredible too. Formula can be an incredible source of nutrition if your baby needs it. And I say this as a mother of a formula fed baby, my son. I say this as an epoxy and I say this as a pediatrician.

00;08;31;06 – 00;08;54;10
Dr. Mona
Formula is nourishment and formula is love. A formula fed baby can of course, be just as loved and bonded with their parent as a breastfed baby. When our son was born, we were separated right away due to his and my medical complications, and I didn’t see him for 12 hours. I still remember when I saw him he was sucking away on his Philips Advent Smoothie pacifier.

00;08;54;10 – 00;09;23;13
Dr. Mona
That classic green pacifier distributed at hospitals nationwide to calm newborns. And he was so peaceful and content. I was sad with all the trauma we went through, but I knew he was well taken care of in the NICU and even through his stroke, seizures, and complications, he found comfort in my husband, my family members being bottle fed formula and his Philips Advent soothe the pacifier when I couldn’t be there physically.

00;09;23;15 – 00;09;43;27
Dr. Mona
As moms, we tend to think we need to be the one, the one to soothe, the one to be there, and the one to do it all. But sometimes what we really need is to rely on our team to help. Sometimes we need to share the care and recognize when we can utilize the help. For many moms, choosing to move to formula is a relief.

00;09;43;29 – 00;10;07;06
Dr. Mona
Nursing wasn’t fun for them. It caused them pain or the stress of figuring it out and working with many lactation consultant who weren’t helpful. I have never met a mother who regretted switching or adding formula or bottle feeding to protect her mental well-being and get more help because in the end, mental well-being is so important as it can increase bonding and connection with a baby.

00;10;07;06 – 00;10;29;03
Dr. Mona
When a mother is more at peace, I want to remind you that if you struggled with this transition from the expectation of nursing to supplementing with formula feeding that you are worthy. Your baby, your baby is fed. Your baby is nourish, your baby is loved. Don’t ever believe the narrative that your baby isn’t healthy enough or good enough.

00;10;29;05 – 00;10;52;04
Dr. Mona
Because I can tell you what’s most important is not what your baby is drinking in the first few months, breast milk or formula, but that your baby grows up in a healthy, loving, and enriching environment. When it comes to struggling with medical issues like colic and reflux, I have a YouTube video on spit up and reflux. But remember that if your baby is uncomfortable with their spit up, they need help.

00;10;52;07 – 00;11;26;16
Dr. Mona
There are many strategies I discuss, and part of that may be finding the right feeding technique and bottle. My YouTube video called Bottle Feeding Introduction with pediatrician doctor Mona that I did in partnership with Philips Advent, highlights feeding techniques like pace bottle feeding or sideline feeding, which can help babies with reflux. I discuss various bottle choices like the Philips Advent Anti Colic bottle with Error-free vent, which is designed to help reduce the amount of air a baby ingest to ease issues like colic, gas and reflux, and keeps baby’s tummy happy in the end.

00;11;26;18 – 00;11;57;15
Dr. Mona
Reflux when it’s true Gerd or gastro esophageal reflux disease or acid reflux is a joy stealer. So speak to your clinician on a treatment plan to bring you and your baby more peace. The true reality is, as parents, we will always make decisions in our parenting journey. Those decisions and difficulties postpartum time, especially with feeding, can feel so heavy due to hormones, sleep deprivation, and the reality is that this is the first thing that you’re doing for your baby.

00;11;57;18 – 00;12;22;06
Dr. Mona
So when it doesn’t seem like it’s going well or according to your plan, or you’re feeling a lack of support from others for your decisions, whether online or in person, it can feel draining. So many of us have been there, right there with you. I want to remind you of this. Own your decision. I want you to trust in yourself and your journey.

00;12;22;08 – 00;12;53;06
Dr. Mona
Whether you decide to do extended breastfeeding exclusively, pump, combo feed, or formula feed. I want you to own that decision because it’s the best decision for you. Your situation and your resources. I want you to remember that there is power and strength in asking for help. There is strength and vulnerability. Knowing you need support. Knowing you want to share the care, knowing something isn’t working for you and choosing to pivot is powerful.

00;12;53;09 – 00;13;23;10
Dr. Mona
So if you are struggling postpartum and newborn feeding challenges are part of that struggle. Reach out and ask for help. Speak to a loved one. Connect here in the Pedes Doctor community. Speak to your clinician or mental health professional. If you’re having depressive or suicidal thoughts, please get help immediately by contacting a national helpline. My hope is that every mother always feels less alone in their journey, and that your village does a better job supporting you and your baby in those early days.

00;13;23;14 – 00;13;52;03
Dr. Mona
Remember, you are an incredible parent who loves your baby and you’re doing amazing. Thank you for tuning in and to Philips Advent for sponsoring this episode. To check out their suite of baby products and learn more about what it means to share the care. Visit advent.com. That’s event.com. If you needed this episode, please leave a review or rating and share it on your social media and I will catch you next time for another episode here on the show.