When we become parents, we often get bogged down with all the information and noise that we forget that parenting is a long-game job and sustainability is important. I welcome Grace Bastidas who is the editor in chief of Parents and a mom of two to discuss how to set yourself up for the long game after having a baby.

We discuss:

• What the long game of parenting is
• Why taking care of yourself is the biggest gift you can give your child
• Why we set such high expectations of ourselves the moment we become a parent and how it can negatively impact us

You can also find Grace on Instagram @brooklynwriter or listen to her Podcast: That New Mom Life

00;00;01;01 – 00;00;25;00

Grace Bastidas

Because for me personally, I was raised by a single mother who put herself last. And I came into motherhood with this idea that you had to be selfless to be a good mother, which I think, you know, a lot of people can relate to. But eventually I realized that being overwhelmed, exhausted and unhappy wasn’t really serving anyone, let alone myself.

 

00;00;25;02 – 00;00;40;29

Grace Bastidas

And that motherhood really requires you to make time for yourself and prioritize your needs in order to care for others. And it’s not something that’s selfish. It’s actually the opposite of selfish. And it really took me a long time to learn this lesson.

 

00;00;41;01 – 00;01;06;18

Dr. Mona

Hello everyone. Welcome back to the show. I continue to get to talk to the most amazing guests on this podcast to have conversations about parenthood, child health development and so much more. So thank you for tuning in, for being here and all of the reviews you leave for the PedsDocTalk podcast. Today’s guest is Grace Bastidas, who is the editor in chief of Parents and Mom of two.

 

00;01;06;22 – 00;01;14;29

Dr. Mona

And we are talking about how to set yourself up for the long game after having a baby. Thank you so much for joining us today, Grace.

 

00;01;15;01 – 00;01;16;27

Grace Bastidas

Thanks so much for having me.

 

00;01;16;29 – 00;01;37;17

Dr. Mona

I am so excited to chat with you. One I love parents. I actually help review articles for parents. I think you know that a whole. But I love parents. I love all the information that you all have provided for so long on social media, on the website, everything just so great at providing a variety of support for parents all over the world, essentially.

 

00;01;38;01 – 00;01;44;15

Dr. Mona

But tell us more about yourself and why this topic is something that inspires you or interests you.

 

00;01;44;18 – 00;02;05;25

Grace Bastidas

Well, thanks so much for all the nice things you said about parents, and we love having you as part of our extended family. I’ll tell you a little bit about myself. So first and foremost, I am a mom of two girls, ages seven and nine, both of whom I’m raising bilingual and multicultural in my hometown of New York City.

 

00;02;05;25 – 00;02;31;21

Grace Bastidas

I’m also a first generation immigrant, so that is a very big part of my identity. And like you said, I’m the editor in chief of parents, and I’m also the first woman of color to hold this title in 96 year history. And in that role, we talk about the most important topics we need to tackle as a trusted brand and making sure our diverse audience feels seen, heard and understood.

 

00;02;32;06 – 00;02;57;18

Grace Bastidas

And like you, I’m a podcaster. I am the host of that new Mom Life, which is really a podcast about those first bleary eyed, emotional months of parenthood. And that’s how this topic came to be the long game for moms, and how we think about how we approach parenthood from the get go. You know, we know that welcoming a teeny tiny baby can be magical, messy, mind boggling, all the things.

 

00;02;57;21 – 00;03;38;07

Grace Bastidas

But our goal is really to help moms and parents in general navigate this season with confidence. And even though, no longer a new mom. Like I said, my daughters are our big kids now. The podcast, to me was really a big reminder to stay present and to make time for myself as a mom. So when I think about the long haul of parenting, that is one of my biggest takeaways, because for me personally, I was raised by a single mother who put herself last, and I came into motherhood with this idea that you had to be selfless to be a good mother, which I think, you know, a lot of people can relate

 

00;03;38;07 – 00;04;04;07

Grace Bastidas

1. But eventually I realized that being overwhelmed, exhausted and unhappy wasn’t really serving anyone, let alone myself, and that motherhood really requires you to make time for yourself and prioritize your needs in order to care for others. And it’s not something that’s selfish. It’s actually the opposite of selfish. And it really took me a long time to learn this lesson.

 

00;04;04;10 – 00;04;21;11

Dr. Mona

Oh, I’m already so excited to talk to you. One. Just from all of your experience as a mom of older children, I get, you know, a lot of us maybe people listening may have younger children, but yes, a nine and a seven year old. And also just your experience of being the editor in chief of a major news outlet, if you will.

 

00;04;22;00 – 00;04;43;13

Dr. Mona

And also just being an immigrant and your experience having a single mom, I know you have so much that you can share with us from all of the personal aspect of just what you’ve gone through and where you are in your life right now. So, so excited to chat with you. And I also just completely agree with what you just mentioned, this unhealthy, high expectations we all put on ourselves.

 

00;04;43;13 – 00;05;00;19

Dr. Mona

And I think some of us are better than others about really finding that sort of balance. But why do you think this happens? Like, why do you think we set these very high expectations of ourselves and then, you know, obviously it can lead to issues with mental health. It can lead to issues with not feeling like you’re good enough.

 

00;05;00;23 – 00;05;03;03

Dr. Mona

But where do you think it comes from?

 

00;05;03;05 – 00;05;28;01

Grace Bastidas

You know, I don’t know where it comes from. It’s something that we ourselves kind of you enter into this, into parenthood, and obviously you want to be the best parent you can be to your child. And I think that kind of takes a life of its own, where we feel especially like I’m a type A personality, used to having it all together or appearing to have it all together.

 

00;05;28;01 – 00;05;54;05

Grace Bastidas

So it’s hard to let go of the expectations. This idea that you can control something. When I think as parents, we need to just have grace with ourselves. Yeah. You know, it was for me. I didn’t dare admit to anyone that things weren’t going as planned either. I remember when I had my first daughter and I had an unexpected C-section.

 

00;05;54;08 – 00;06;16;15

Grace Bastidas

I struggled to really get the hang of breastfeeding. I was completely exhausted and I had this person depending on me and I didn’t know what I was doing. And you know, before that I had I read all the baby books. I underlined and highlighted stuff. I was cramming for a test here. Yes, but nothing really prepares you for that.

 

00;06;16;15 – 00;06;42;22

Grace Bastidas

And I think that can be overwhelming on its own, not really knowing what you’re doing and then having these high expectations. And sometimes it’s maybe it’s social media, maybe it’s, society. Maybe it’s this idea that you should know what you’re doing and you should have that instinct. But I just don’t think those things really happen. I don’t think they just happen naturally.

 

00;06;42;22 – 00;06;59;18

Grace Bastidas

You know, it’s over time that you get the hang of of what it is to be a parent and the kind of parent that you want to be, not the kind of parent your friend is, or that maybe your own mother was. But what does this mean to you? And how are you going to tackle this?

 

00;06;59;20 – 00;07;18;20

Dr. Mona

Yes, I feel like that’s the issue with all those baby books. Like you said, they’re great for all of the okay, here’s how you burp or here’s how you do all the physical, logistical things of care. But then when you talk about the emotional, the balance, all of that stuff that goes into it, it’s such a nuanced discussion because everyone has a different upbringing, right?

 

00;07;18;20 – 00;07;46;23

Dr. Mona

You could have different things that worked well in your childhood, or different things that did not work well, that you are bringing to the table. When you become a parent, you have a different partner. You may not have a partner, you have different resources and it’s just such a unique journey. And I again, I just love talking about this because when you can kind of embrace the fact that this is your journey, not compared to your friend, like you said, and this is not something that you know, you can take things from them that you like or you know, things that they’re doing that work and maybe try it for your family.

 

00;07;46;24 – 00;08;01;00

Dr. Mona

We got to listen to that parenting voice, and I think that’s part of this conversation. But for you, when we describe the long game, quote unquote, after having a baby, what is that to you and how do you even begin approaching it?

 

00;08;01;03 – 00;08;24;24

Grace Bastidas

So we know that parenthood is a long road with lots of twists and turns and bumps along the way. So when I talk about the long game, it’s really not just, you know, thinking about like, oh, I’ve got to do everything in a certain way. At this point, you’re allowed to make mistakes, you’re allowed to have do overs.

 

00;08;25;01 – 00;08;47;01

Grace Bastidas

And I think now that my kids are older, it’s just kind of dawned on me, not even like two long ago, but, you know, knowing that, wow, the journey keeps on going and it has different complexities at different points. They’re different kids than they were when they were babies, when they were toddlers, when they were preschoolers. Now they’re having issues.

 

00;08;47;24 – 00;09;13;11

Grace Bastidas

Maybe school friends, different things that you have to deal with. So every day brings something new. And knowing that you have to preserve your energy and for whatever life tosses at you as a parent, you know, for me personally, that includes prioritizing sleep. So, you know, same way I created a bedtime routine for my kids. I have one for myself.

 

00;09;13;13 – 00;09;36;14

Grace Bastidas

I start winding down at 10 p.m.. I read for 30 minutes. I sleep under a weighted blanket that lulls me to sleep. You know, I even read recently that weighted blankets help release melatonin. Reportedly, I exercise. I started taking tennis classes this summer and it dawned on me when my daughter asked me, what are your hobbies last year?

 

00;09;36;14 – 00;09;57;12

Grace Bastidas

She asked, what are your hobbies? And I said, hobbies? Let’s think about that. I said, you know, it took me a while to answer that question, and my best answer was like, you and your sister. Is that my hobby now? So it’s been really satisfying to do something that’s for me. And it’s taken this long to actually find something that’s for me.

 

00;09;57;15 – 00;10;02;12

Dr. Mona

As I say, like seven, nine year old. And now you just said that this is some like recent revelation that you’re like, it’s a recent.

 

00;10;02;20 – 00;10;26;18

Grace Bastidas

It’s a it’s a recent revelation. And mostly because I think, okay, I’m raising daughters. I want them to see me as an individual with my own needs and goals, and I hope that’s something that they’ll take with them as they carve out a place in the world, their own place in the world. So it really from the get go, I wish somebody would have said, you know what?

 

00;10;26;19 – 00;10;51;29

Grace Bastidas

Take some time for yourself. Do something that you enjoy that brings you personal happiness. Go have more solo walks. Have, you know, go out for that coffee date with a friend. And I think that those little things are so key and so important to new parents that they make the time, even if they feel like, well, no, you know what?

 

00;10;52;01 – 00;11;14;00

Grace Bastidas

I can’t be away from my child. And. Oh, no, that’s just, you know, that feels a little selfish. That’s all right. Go and make the time for yourself. And from a parenting perspective, I’m also more forgiving with myself. You know, like I said, I strive to be the best parent I can be. But this is real life, and sometimes things don’t go as planned.

 

00;11;14;00 – 00;11;42;21

Grace Bastidas

You may lose if you make a mistake. Whatever. But the pandemic really taught me that tomorrow is another day. Try again. You get a second chance. That’s another thing that I’ve just been better with myself having more self-compassion. I’ve also forced myself to slow down. Or, you know, I still find it hard to do nothing when I can be running a load of laundry or prepping food for the week, or organizing drawers.

 

00;11;42;21 – 00;12;06;17

Grace Bastidas

You know, there’s always a drawer that needs to be ordered. Yes. Yeah, I try to be more intentional about it. And I think, yeah, you know, like I said, I was raised by a single mother who was very selfless. She was the last one to eat. She always put my sister in me first. But she had worked multiple jobs, kept her house clean, cooked every meal, was constantly doing chores.

 

00;12;06;17 – 00;12;35;28

Grace Bastidas

And she passed away a few years ago. But I remember her reflecting on her own life, and one of the things that she said to me was like, you go from morning to night, you know, barely ever taking a pause. Yeah. For what? I mean, she didn’t say it in so many words, but I understood that she really never gave herself permission to rest, permission to take a break and, you know, they say we we want parents always want better for their kids than they had.

 

00;12;35;28 – 00;12;58;24

Grace Bastidas

And that’s 100% true. And this is one of those lessons that I’ve taken from my own mom, even though she didn’t say, like, slow down. You’ve got to like, you know, think about yourself. I knew that’s what she meant. And it really does take intention for me and work to just like, okay, I’m just going to sit here and read my book and be okay with it.

 

00;12;58;27 – 00;13;15;08

Dr. Mona

Yeah. And that your children will be okay too. And actually, your children will be learning the cycle of self-care and taking care of yourself, which is good for them. Like exactly the cycle. I’m curious, you said, you know, with your mom. My mom was very similar to she is still very similar. And I again, I’m so sorry for your loss.

 

00;13;15;10 – 00;13;32;25

Dr. Mona

A couple of years ago, you said when she passed away, did you get that revelation of, hey, I love my mom so much, but I do not want to be this completely selfless mother where I do not think about myself at all. I do not think about my needs. When did you start to realize the importance of that?

 

00;13;32;25 – 00;13;43;29

Dr. Mona

Was it when your mother passed away, or was it earlier in your mother her journey that you realized, hey, I do need to take a look at what I need and how to create these boundaries and still be that loving mother that I am.

 

00;13;44;02 – 00;14;04;12

Grace Bastidas

I don’t know if it was in. I have that one, you know, moments. And like I said, it took me a long time, you know, just trying to manage it all and look like, okay, yes, this isn’t hard for me. I can do it all. I can be this great mom. I could do all the chores I could do.

 

00;14;04;26 – 00;14;26;23

Grace Bastidas

I don’t think it happened in just one moment where I thought, like, what am I doing here? I do think that my mom played a really big role. You know, I remember this one time before she passed. She came over to my house, and, you know, I had my toddler, my preschooler. Yeah. And just trying to, you know, make dinner.

 

00;14;26;23 – 00;14;49;01

Grace Bastidas

And she said to me, oh, you haven’t gotten your nails done. And my mom’s been Latina. You know, I should my my mom, even with all she had going on, she always had she was always perfectly dressed. She had her nails done. She was wearing her lipstick, her earrings. And I thought, I seriously, I almost lost it because I thought, what?

 

00;14;49;07 – 00;15;16;29

Grace Bastidas

I’m holding this child, this other child is running around. Yeah. Are trying to make dinner, but I think she was trying to nudge me into like, that’s something I know you enjoy as well, I do. I love getting my nails done. And, you know, again, while she didn’t explicitly say to me, like, you need to take time for yourself, I think she was giving me this message of like, you love to like, get your nails done.

 

00;15;16;29 – 00;15;45;02

Grace Bastidas

You love to like, be put together as well. And you should do that. And yes, I get a manicure every, you know, every couple of weeks or whatever. It was the little things that I thought, oh, I can’t believe I got nothing to show as a hobby. And I had these, like, three children. I had this very full life, and I enjoy doing different things and really wanting to set an example for my daughters.

 

00;15;45;02 – 00;16;11;29

Grace Bastidas

I wanted to model that for them, which is so much of like so many of the changes I think that we make in parenthood is also like, what am I showing my kids? Yeah, and wanting them to see that it’s okay. It’s okay to have time for yourself. It’s okay to have personal moments in the day. And I mean, my nine year old, she constantly says, well, I need time on my own as well.

 

00;16;11;29 – 00;16;49;06

Grace Bastidas

And I’m like, okay, we need to build that in. Love it. Yeah. Yes, of course I yeah. And and I see their reaction to me now when I do go and get my nails done or go for my tennis class or do something that is about me and they’re just kind of like, oh, nice, you know, and they pay me a compliment or they kind of feed off of whatever I’m putting out there, which I think it uplifts me when I know I’ve been able to, like, take a moment and take a breather and all the stuff we have to do every single day as parents.

 

00;16;49;06 – 00;17;16;00

Grace Bastidas

And if you work outside the home, all the things you have to do at work, so it’s to set a good example for them. One of the ways that I found my voice altogether was also because of my daughters, you know, and being able to voice my needs. And everywhere I went, you know, whether it was home or work to be able to express what I need in the moment came because I needed my daughters to do the same at school.

 

00;17;16;02 – 00;17;31;00

Grace Bastidas

Yeah, they didn’t like something. I would say, you got to speak up. And then it just dawned on me like, well, I’m telling these girls, you got to speak up. These little girls were a little shy, and yet I don’t do it in certain situations.

 

00;17;31;00 – 00;17;32;22

Dr. Mona

So how are they going to learn?

 

00;17;32;22 – 00;17;35;17

Grace Bastidas

Right. How are they going to learn exactly?

 

00;17;35;19 – 00;17;52;01

Dr. Mona

Oh, I love, you know, talking about hobbies. It’s so funny you said like, you know, that we don’t have hobbies and you started attending ones with, like, tennis and all of that even later. And, you know, your children’s life and I think a lot of people have a misconception about hobbies because they feel I almost I think they feel pressured when like you ask someone like, hey, what do you like to do?

 

00;17;52;01 – 00;18;11;26

Dr. Mona

Like what are your hobbies? And they’re like, I don’t know, I don’t have time for a hobby. And they feel guilty that they don’t have a hobby. But I like to rephrase, like, I have a really good friend who is a mom and works as a pediatrician, and she did not have a hobby for a long time, and now her hobby is like creating really cute little desserts for her child and her family.

 

00;18;11;26 – 00;18;26;03

Dr. Mona

And she decorates them and like, does all this cool stuff with it. And she’s like, I want to start an Etsy shop. And I was like, that’s super cool. And she started doing this for fun. And I, you know, this is an example of like, it doesn’t even have to be for money. It doesn’t even have to be anything big.

 

00;18;26;03 – 00;18;48;11

Dr. Mona

But you’re going to find joy doing something that is for yourself. And sometimes it can be something that is for the kids too, right? Like, obviously they get to enjoy the desserts some women love doing, like cooking and stuff like that. Like it really is about finding what works for you and what’s going to be something that you feel like, wow, like it fosters creativity or it makes my body move and I get really happy just doing this activity.

 

00;18;48;13 – 00;18;59;25

Dr. Mona

And it can be super small. But I also agree that we have to find hobbies like weirdly, and I know people may not understand, but my hobby is all the stuff that I do on the side with this business, like pizza shop, talk like I.

 

00;18;59;25 – 00;19;00;08

Grace Bastidas

Actually.

 

00;19;00;08 – 00;19;28;22

Dr. Mona

Enjoy writing, right? Writing as a hobby. Like I enjoy putting reals together. I enjoy coming up with creative ideas for my social media page. And yes, it’s also part of my business, but it’s like, oh, this is for me. Even though I’m helping other people. Like, this is kind of fun. So really, I also agree that finding something that’s for you, finding something that’s fun and brings you life, and it could be so different, it could be something so unusual, then a friend will be like, oh, okay, it doesn’t matter.

 

00;19;28;22 – 00;19;45;23

Dr. Mona

Like do it for yourself. It’s something that makes you happy and that’s going to really translate to your children to, like you said, they’re going to see you go out for your tennis lessons or they’re going to see how happy you are after you come back from those things, you know, or after you did decorate a cake in the kitchen, you’re like, hey, look at what I did that I wasn’t able to do before.

 

00;19;45;23 – 00;20;01;00

Dr. Mona

And I really think that just helps as human beings too, right? To constantly be feeling like you’re improving yourself and doing something to fill your cup, you know, I think just really helps so much for women and for mothers and just for people in general as they try to navigate this world.

 

00;20;01;03 – 00;20;25;25

Grace Bastidas

Exactly. And, you know, it’s about really finding those unexpected pockets of joy. And you may not know what that is. It’s okay. You know, I did buy all this, like, macrame stuff when I decided that’s going to be my hobby. That did not work out. That stuff is still sitting in a bag in my closet. But, you know, you try different things out and see what brings you a smile, what brings you a little bit of joy and satisfaction.

 

00;20;25;25 – 00;20;41;08

Grace Bastidas

And it doesn’t have to be big for a new mom or a new parent. You can start out small. Like I said, go out for that little walk, maybe journal, maybe plan something with your friends just about really being proactive. Really? Yeah.

 

00;20;41;08 – 00;21;03;05

Dr. Mona

And to kind of wrap up, how do you think I guess maybe even in your personal life, when you came to this realization that taking care of yourself is actually not selfish? Explain how maybe even an example or how you kind of realize that, or you know how that came to light, because that is an important concept, this whole reality that taking care of yourself is so important for you, and it is not selfish at all.

 

00;21;03;09 – 00;21;18;12

Dr. Mona

I completely agree and I do not understand why people still feel that way. It’s a common belief that you have to be with your kid all the time, that you can’t take a break, that you know all of this. But when did that realization happen for you and how has it benefited you?

 

00;21;18;14 – 00;21;52;01

Grace Bastidas

I think the realization happened when I just realized how much more happier I was. Yeah, I was truly bringing the best of me to motherhood, to I love in Hood again. I don’t think it was this moment of like, oh, wait a second, this is selfish. I thought, you know what? I could see the positive effects and my daughters talking about what they do for fun, my daughters telling me when they need personal time, when they’re like, you know what, I just need a moment to myself right now.

 

00;21;52;03 – 00;22;14;22

Grace Bastidas

And me respecting that. And they in turn respecting my personal time. Yeah. And seeing how happy it makes me. And it brings them, you know, even though they don’t have the, the language yet to tell me, like, you know what? I really appreciate how how you take care of yourself, mom. I see that they enjoy it as well, but you kind of have to stick to it, right?

 

00;22;14;22 – 00;22;48;09

Grace Bastidas

Like this is protected. If you’ve decided that this is this is something that’s important to you, protect that time the same way you protect time with your family or, you know, doing whatever. If you’re having dinner together a night or whatever little routines you have with your family, you have to protect that personal time and people. Even if you feel like, oh, no, my partner thinks that, oh, I’m just being selfish or whatever it is, people get used to you making time for yourself and we’ll start listening to that need as well here.

 

00;22;48;11 – 00;22;48;28

Dr. Mona

And also.

 

00;22;48;28 – 00;22;50;06

Grace Bastidas

Your partner. What?

 

00;22;50;09 – 00;22;55;22

Dr. Mona

Yeah, people start realizing how it’s benefiting everybody. Like, exactly. Because your mental health is better 100%.

 

00;22;55;22 – 00;22;57;02

Grace Bastidas

Exactly. Exactly.

 

00;22;57;08 – 00;23;10;13

Dr. Mona

Oh, I think like so much of it is when you’re. Yeah. When you’re not taking care of yourself. I mean, I see it in my office with patients like, I know the parents who are not taking care of themselves. And again, it’s not this big production of you need like five hour breaks and all of that. None of us have that time.

 

00;23;10;13 – 00;23;27;11

Dr. Mona

I, I understand that, you know, we’re all we’re all busy, quote unquote. But it’s like you said, you prioritize sleep, right? Like that’s something that’s really important to you. So you make it a priority, like, hey, I’m going to shut everything off and I’m not going to scroll on my phone past 1030, like I have to shut my brain off and really prioritize this.

 

00;23;27;11 – 00;23;43;26

Dr. Mona

And I, I agree, talking about sleep, how important it is to function in so many different aspects I get for maybe someone listening who may be having a younger child who’s going through like, you know, illnesses and sleep regressions and all of that. But when you are able to, right, like when you do get those opportunities, this is a priority for you.

 

00;23;43;26 – 00;23;49;26

Dr. Mona

And like you said, I think you have to make it a priority for it to become a priority. Like you have to think this is something really important to me.

 

00;23;49;28 – 00;24;13;02

Grace Bastidas

Exactly. It’s part of your to do list give you. Yes. Yeah. I actually will be in the middle of a conversation with my husband and we’ll be sitting on our couch. It’s nighttime and I’m like, oh, there’s my bedtime. Gotta go. Yeah, I will leave, but I will leave that conversation because I realize it’s important to me. It puts me in a better state of mind, and it makes me a better person overall.

 

00;24;13;02 – 00;24;14;02

Grace Bastidas

So of course.

 

00;24;14;02 – 00;24;14;10

Dr. Mona

I.

 

00;24;14;12 – 00;24;15;11

Grace Bastidas

Prioritize that.

 

00;24;15;11 – 00;24;33;22

Dr. Mona

My my husband has a completely different schedule, like he’s a ER physician. So he is like up until 1:00, like his brain is like a shift worker. Right? So he’s not doesn’t have a natural rhythm like I do. And at 10:30 p.m., I don’t know why he wants to have very prolific conversations with me. And I look at him and I’m like, it is 1030.

 

00;24;33;29 – 00;24;51;18

Dr. Mona

Is wine down time for me? I cannot get into like the meaning of life conversations right now. Excuse me? Like that’s not happening. It’s so funny though, because it’s always like 1030, 11 and I’m like, oh, this is wine downtime. But the comment that you made about you and your partner, that’s so funny, I really love that. So I wanted to ask that new mom life.

 

00;24;51;18 – 00;24;57;12

Dr. Mona

So you said that’s a podcast that basically had released a few episodes. How many episodes are in that podcast?

 

00;24;57;14 – 00;25;29;06

Grace Bastidas

So it’s 12 episodes long, and in every episode we interview experts in the postpartum world and discuss sleep body changes, making mom friends. And we also hear deeply personal stories from real moms in the trenches. And they really range from the inspiring to the hilarious. Like wherever you are on your parenting journey, I think you could still find some relatability with this podcast because I know I did as a host that was just like, oh, that’s a great tip.

 

00;25;29;08 – 00;25;43;22

Grace Bastidas

I yeah, and I think a lot of that, a lot of my shift in the way I think about myself and my personal time came from the podcast, and doing that and listening to that advice of how we should prioritize ourselves.

 

00;25;43;29 – 00;25;59;23

Dr. Mona

I love it, and it’s a 12 episode series. I’m going to link that in my show notes, but I guess in a summary we’ve talked about so many amazing things and I appreciate your insights so much. Like I said already, what would be your, like final message advice to a new parent or new mom or, you know, whoever?

 

00;26;00;15 – 00;26;03;11

Dr. Mona

As they navigate this journey.

 

00;26;03;13 – 00;26;26;12

Grace Bastidas

So much advice. You know, moms are at their most vulnerable with a new baby at home. You’re stretched thin, your hormones are all over the place. If you’re a birthing parent and you’re navigating this huge identity shift. So my biggest piece of advice is and to all parents, really is have grace with yourself. Don’t put so much pressure on yourself.

 

00;26;26;15 – 00;26;51;14

Grace Bastidas

And also, you know, as a mom working outside the home, I would also advise that anyone heading back to work after welcoming a child embrace their full identity as a parent. The only way we’re going to get more support for parents in the workplace is really to embrace that mom identity as a collective. And you know, for me personally, I may take an afternoon off to read a book to my kids class.

 

00;26;51;16 – 00;27;15;12

Grace Bastidas

I’ll definitely be clocking off early on Halloween, and I support all moms that do the same. And I’m super empathetic. If your kid is sick or your babysitting plans fell through because I can relate, and I know how difficult that time to go back to work can be for a new parent. So embrace it all. Bring your full identity.

 

00;27;15;14 – 00;27;21;23

Dr. Mona

I love it and any other links or where people can find join. I want to make sure the that new mom life correct is the name of the podcast.

 

00;27;21;23 – 00;27;30;03

Grace Bastidas

That new mom like. You can follow parents and you can follow up at Brooklyn Writer Brooklyn’s Where I live. I do some writing as well.

 

00;27;30;09 – 00;27;48;28

Dr. Mona

I love it. Awesome. Oh Grace, this is so awesome. I appreciate you so much. This was a great, uplifting conversation. You know, I am a mother of a toddler and I just love speaking to other moms as well. I cannot wait to actually listen to that new mom life you are telling me about it. I’m like, this is amazing.

 

00;27;48;28 – 00;27;53;20

Dr. Mona

I haven’t listen to this. I need to and I can’t wait to learn more insight from the guests that you have.

 

00;27;53;22 – 00;28;00;10

Grace Bastidas

Well, thank you so much for having me and for all you do. Not only for parents, but for parents everywhere.

 

00;28;00;12 – 00;28;04;27

Dr. Mona

Yes, thank you and for everyone listening. If you love this episode, which I’m sure you did because it was.

 

00;28;04;27 – 00;28;05;20

Grace Bastidas

Just so.

 

00;28;05;23 – 00;28;16;01

Dr. Mona

Uplifting, make sure you leave a review wherever you can. Leave reviews. Call out Grace and this episode, say how much you love the information and I can’t wait to talk to another guest next week.

 

00;28;16;02 – 00;28;31;24

Dr. Mona

Thank you for tuning in for this week’s episode. As always, please leave a review. Share this episode with a friend. Share it on your social media. Make sure to follow me at PedsDocTalk on Instagram and subscribe to my YouTube channel, PedsDocTalk TV. We’ll talk to you soon.