I believe resilience is about teaching children to handle challenges, adapt to change, and recover from setbacks while respecting their emotions. We can model resilience by demonstrating healthy coping skills, fostering a growth mindset, and helping children develop emotional awareness and problem-solving abilities. By supporting them through difficulties and validating their feelings, we empower children to face life’s challenges with confidence!

I discuss:

• How to model resilience and demonstrate healthy coping skills
• That it’s important to encourage children to embrace their feelings
• The need to promote problem-solving and support by allowing children to tackle challenges independently, while offering guidance and reassurance.

Our podcasts are also now on YouTube. If you prefer a video podcast with closed captioning, check us out there and subscribe to the  PedsDocTalk Channel.

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00;00;00;04 – 00;00;25;10
Dr. Mona
Hey, it’s Doctor Mona and welcome to the PedsDocTalk podcast. I’m so excited you’re joining me today. New year, new episodes and more incredible conversations and insight into child health development, parenting, and your own self-growth as a parent, which is so important. This is the first fresh episode of 2025. This podcast began in March of 2020, so we are celebrating five years this year and I want to thank you.

00;00;25;12 – 00;00;39;20
Dr. Mona
I ended 2024 with the honor of being on Good Morning America for my first live in studio segment, and it was exhilarating. I love live media. It’s so fun, and I love being able to have a voice to reach many.

00;00;39;27 – 00;00;40;11
Dr. Mona
And for a.

00;00;40;11 – 00;01;03;10
Dr. Mona
Long time, I thought that I would need to be hired by a mainstream media account or mainstream media show to have a voice. But thanks to this podcast, my YouTube channel, and social media, I have been able to create my own media platform. And how cool is that? My own platform where I can help guide you on all things health, parenting, development, and pretty much anything that comes to my pediatrician mom brain.

00;01;03;12 – 00;01;24;17
Dr. Mona
What a feeling and thank you for making this possible. Today’s episode is all about resiliency. It’s meant to help guide you on how to foster resiliency in your kids. But maybe, just maybe, it may help you a little bit. I’ll discuss six ways to build resilience in kids and why resilience is important, but I also discuss some misconceptions about resiliency.

00;01;24;23 – 00;01;42;25
Dr. Mona
No, we are not raising kids who are alone on an island. By fostering resilience, we build as they grow and they’ll always know we have their back. Let’s get to it. But before we do that, make sure to hit that subscribe button and check out my YouTube as well, and subscribe over there to help my channel grow this year and beyond.

00;01;43;03 – 00;01;50;06
Dr. Mona
2025 is going to be amazing because of you Pete’s Dog Talk family. So let’s get to it.

00;01;50;08 – 00;02;12;14
Dr. Mona
How do we raise a resilient kid while still respecting their feelings and needs? Hi, I’m Doctor Mona, a board certified pediatrician, parenting educator, and mom myself. And resiliency is something I know human beings are capable of and that kids can be taught. But what is resilience and why is it important? Resilience is the ability to handle challenges, adapt to change, and recover from setbacks in life that we all face.

00;02;12;17 – 00;02;36;07
Dr. Mona
Being resilient helps to cope with stress, creates frustration tolerance, can teach emotional intelligence, and promotes emotional well-being. And sometimes we equate teaching children resilience with making them do things completely on their own. But the key to teaching resilience in a child is to foster their ability to cope with difficulty and not dismiss their feelings. We can embrace various feelings and teach them how to move through this.

00;02;36;10 – 00;02;51;24
Dr. Mona
So much of resilience in children is taught by the adults in their life and modeled by the adults in their life. And there is also a misconception that resilience is a sign of trauma, that if a child is resilient from a young age, it means that they’ve had to do that to survive. This is not necessarily the case.

00;02;51;26 – 00;03;16;19
Dr. Mona
Sure, people who have experienced trauma can develop new strengths or perspective after facing adversity. But a resilient child is not always a traumatized one. Every human being is capable of being resilient, and resiliency is extremely valuable for our mental health. And resiliency can be fostered by having a supportive relationship with the grown ups in their life, who help them navigate difficulty and foster safety, trust, and connection.

00;03;16;22 – 00;03;37;03
Dr. Mona
Remember my podcast episode The Three Things Every Child Needs from their grown ups in their life? Listen to that if you haven’t already. And some kids by nature can have innate characteristics that help them with resiliency. Things like optimism, problem solving skills, and emotional regulation skills. This can all contribute to resilience. But the big question is is it nature or is it nurture?

00;03;37;06 – 00;03;56;14
Dr. Mona
Can we teach kids how to be resilient or are some just not? I believe nature and nurture are equally important, and we can do our best to foster resiliency in the seven following ways. Modeling resilience I will always go back to modeling being the fundamental of everything we do, because if we expect our kids to do anything, we have to do it too.

00;03;56;17 – 00;04;17;17
Dr. Mona
This doesn’t mean that they’re going to be exactly like us, but in order for them to even have a shot at resiliency, we have to show them what resiliency looks like. Small example you stub your toe. Instead of cursing at the stool or yelling, say, oh, that hurt. Breathe. Breathe and move forward. Share small and big resilient moments in your life in developmentally appropriate ways.

00;04;17;20 – 00;04;35;12
Dr. Mona
If you have a teenager who’s going through a difficult time with a peer, connect and let them speak and also share how you feel and how you’ve been there. Kids learn by feeling seen and also understanding that you also know how they feel, because you might have experienced something similar and they learn by hearing how you navigate similar stories.

00;04;35;14 – 00;04;50;21
Dr. Mona
One of the biggest things we can do to model resiliency is to model our feelings and our coping skills. If you are feeling sad one day because of some sad news, you don’t have to be tough and push it down. You can say to your child, I’m feeling a little sad right now, and sometimes people feel sad. You feel sad sometimes too.

00;04;50;21 – 00;05;06;02
Dr. Mona
But I will be okay. Or, you know, sometimes I will feel sad. But hugging you is helpful. Or going for a walk is helpful. Do you want to do that with me? Or maybe it’s I’m feeling a little sad and I’m going to take a moment upstairs. Dad will be with you and I’ll be back and we can play.

00;05;06;04 – 00;05;31;00
Dr. Mona
By modeling resiliency and showing how you cope, you not only teach your child how to navigate challenges with courage, but also empower them to see setbacks as opportunities for growth. Next is a growth mindset. Now I have an entire podcast episode about fostering a growth mindset that you can find by searching my website or podcast. Raising a child with a growth mindset is essentially raising a child who understands that failure or difficulty is inevitable in life, but that we can overcome it.

00;05;31;02 – 00;05;54;08
Dr. Mona
And we can do this by celebrating effort and work ethic over only achievements. This reinforces hard work and resilience and grit. This also requires us to listen to how they’re feeling or if something is too difficult, not dismiss their feelings, but actually try to understand what they’re going through to be better able to guide them. When you embrace resilience, you show your child that it’s not about avoiding difficulties, but about facing them.

00;05;54;11 – 00;06;17;03
Dr. Mona
It’s not about dismissing feelings or saying we’ll get over it, but working through difficult times and guiding them to move forward. That is how resilience is built. Elaborating more on this concept of not dismissing feelings, building emotional awareness and intelligence. Now, I would love to do an entire episode on this, which could actually be a book one day, and maybe it will.

00;06;17;10 – 00;06;38;17
Dr. Mona
But it’s important. We have to allow them to feel feelings besides happiness in order to foster resilience. We have to allow them to know that all feelings will happen in their life. Jealousy. Frustration. Sadness, fear, joy, anxiety and all feelings play a role if we don’t allow them to feel. They can’t learn how to cope with these feelings in a healthy way.

00;06;38;20 – 00;07;04;29
Dr. Mona
And if they can’t learn how to cope, they can’t learn how to bounce back from difficult times. Part of this is also creating emotional insight. When we build emotional awareness, we build curiosity about self. We remind our children of their feelings, that their feelings are important, and to communicate feelings and their need for help when necessary. And we can do this by teaching them that one feelings are okay to not all behaviors are okay, like yelling, hitting and throwing.

00;07;05;06 – 00;07;27;17
Dr. Mona
And three. But they’re not alone on this island ever that they have support for what they need. Leading me to the next important way to build resiliency. Reminding our kids that they’re never alone. This is huge in how we really build resiliency from childhood, that they may do things on their own, walk, fall, have tumbles, have spills, not know how to draw a line straight, but what we can do to support them.

00;07;27;20 – 00;07;52;16
Dr. Mona
Celebrating them and the relationships. Whether it’s positive relationships and moments with you, a sibling, a cousin or a peer. We want to foster community because we are more resilient as a species. When we understand, we are not alone. When we build relationships, foster them and know people care about us and we care about others. We foster resiliency. And part of resilience is truly knowing your limits and knowing when you need help, like from a loved one or even a therapist.

00;07;52;19 – 00;08;22;00
Dr. Mona
And that is so healthy for everyone to know and feel comfortable with doing. Next, encourage problem solving skills before jumping in rather than immediately saving your child as long as they’re safe. Pause. See what they can do before you guide them. Pausing is my ultimate parenting hack and I have an entire handout on my website. Pedes doc talks about pausing by allowing to see what your child does before you jump, and you help them build confidence, self-reliance, and learn from mistakes.

00;08;22;03 – 00;08;44;15
Dr. Mona
They spill something on the floor rather than getting irritated, worked up and passive aggressive while you clean it up, say, oh, you spilled when you spill. We clean it up here, watch me clean it. Or if they’re developmentally able to hand in the towel and have them clean it without shame or anger. If your child is unsure how to cross over a bridge at the playground, rather than saying don’t be scared or you’re a big boy, what are you crying about?

00;08;44;15 – 00;09;04;02
Dr. Mona
Or moving them yourself? Say this is new for you. How do you think you could cross it? Asking questions to a child, especially after 14 months, really boost their cognitive skills and fosters this autonomy and confidence. We need to promote resilience. Depending on the age or development of your child. You will offer help if needed. But can you try to figure it out first?

00;09;04;02 – 00;09;24;07
Dr. Mona
And if you can’t, I can help you is a good strategy to promote self-reliance, but also respect that they still need us to guide them. This is also important to show them that sometimes things will be hard, sometimes they will fail, but that they can figure out how to get through it. And if they can’t, they have a safe place in you or their support system to navigate challenges.

00;09;24;10 – 00;09;41;07
Dr. Mona
And last but certainly not least, one of the top things we can do is model and teach healthy coping skills. A young toddler will not get the concept of deep breathing exercises or taking a walk when they’re upset, but they will see how you respond to big feelings. And the more they see that, the more they understand well.

00;09;41;09 – 00;10;05;21
Dr. Mona
This is how the world works and how people respond to stress. And on the other side, they need to be taught this as well. Even with modeling, kids need to practice this muscle of learning how to cope. And remember, you can’t teach positive coping skills without teaching about emotions and that emotions are normal and healthy. When you debrief with your child after big feelings and they are regulated reminding them of these healthy coping skills, let’s find a solution together.

00;10;05;21 – 00;10;21;28
Dr. Mona
What can we do to make this better? What can we do differently next time? How about we take a break and do something we enjoy to feel better? When I’m upset? It really helps me to take a deep breath. You want to join me?

00;10;22;00 – 00;10;41;17
Dr. Mona
When I’m feeling sad, I really love getting hugs or going for a walk. What makes you feel better? When I’m feeling nervous, I sometimes like to trace my fingers up and down each one and breathe. Now let’s take a break to hear from our sponsors. For kids to learn coping skills, they have to see how to apply it.

00;10;41;24 – 00;11;04;06
Dr. Mona
They have to be reminded of when to use it. And they have to know it’s okay to feel. By fostering healthy coping skills, we provide essential skills to manage stress and big feelings, promote adaptability to life’s challenges, and help them work through problems. Resiliency is a characteristic that can serve so many of us in a positive way, and teaching a child resiliency doesn’t mean that they’re growing up too fast.

00;11;04;13 – 00;11;26;10
Dr. Mona
Rather, it means that you’re helping them develop important life skills. Resiliency is about equipping children with the tools to handle challenges, not about exposing them to grown up problems prematurely, or putting them alone to handle life’s challenges. That is not resiliency. When it comes to resiliency, it’s not just about surviving difficulties. It’s about thriving in the face of them.

00;11;26;13 – 00;11;44;22
Dr. Mona
When we teach our kids to embrace resilience, we are giving them the tools to build a life of courage and perseverance, and are teaching them to respect that. Things may not always be easy or perfect, but they can get through it either on their own or with the support of people who love them. Like you.

00;11;44;25 – 00;12;04;21
Dr. Mona
Thank you for tuning in to this first episode of 2025 on the show all about fostering resilience in kids. Remember that building resilience isn’t about dismissing their feelings. It’s about teaching them how to move through challenges with courage and adaptability. As parents and caregivers, you’re the cornerstone of this journey, modeling the very traits we want to instill in our children.

00;12;04;24 – 00;12;23;12
Dr. Mona
If you found this episode helpful, share it with a friend who might benefit from it too. And don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast for more parenting insights and tips. If you love this platform, you got it! Commit to that subscribe button. Together, we’re raising resilient kids who can thrive no matter what life throws their way. Until next time.

00;12;23;12 – 00;12;44;16
Dr. Mona
I’m Doctor Mona reminding you to embrace the highs and lows of parenting with patience, love and resilience. Coming next week on the show. Motherhood often brings unexpected twists and turns, and for many, it may include a pause from work. But what does that pause really mean? Is it a setback, a reset, or an opportunity to redefine your path and maybe focus on family life?

00;12;44;19 – 00;13;07;06
Dr. Mona
Our next week’s episode, we’re diving into the realities of taking a pause and the power of pause with no rush. The founder of Mother Untitled and the author of the new book, The Power Pause, we’ll explore the emotions tied to hitting pause on your career and the societal pressures and personal challenges that come with it. And we’ll dive even deeper into redefining what it means to be a stay at home mom.

00;13;07;09 – 00;13;15;26
Dr. Mona
Whether you’re in the midst of this journey, considering it, or reflecting on it, this episode is for you. I can’t wait for the amazing episode in store for you next week. Stay well and chat soon.