For my last episode of 2021, I am starting a new series on this podcast that will continue into 2022.

Each month, I will share a heart-to-heart on finding joy as a mother, parent, Pediatrician, and well–human!

I take on topics such as guilt, judgement, making tough decisions, work-life-balance, self-growth, and so much more.

My hope is you will feel empowered to find the best in yourself and find joy.

In this episode I go over:

• Why going part-time was the scariest and best professional decision for me in 2022
• Why I was scared to take the leap
• A message for all working parents–especially working moms on finding work-life balance
• Why I feel burnout at work has no place in the home and how to move towards finding that joy and balance again

00;00;09;00 – 00;00;31;29

Dr. Mona

Welcome, friends. Wherever in this beautiful world you’re joining me from. I am so excited to end 2021 with my last episode of the year with a new series. I’m starting to go into 2022. I am starting a series about finding joy as mothers, as parents, I think mothers will definitely resonate with me, but I think fathers will too.

 

00;00;32;00 – 00;00;55;17

Dr. Mona

Or any caregiver. This series was inspired by questions I get asked on my Instagram page, PedsDocTalk how do you do this? How do you stay relaxed? How do you do this? The truth is, I am learning also and my goal is to share the ups and downs of motherhood, working mom life, being an entrepreneur, which is PedsDocTalk and motivation to help you find some light when you need it.

 

00;00;55;19 – 00;01;15;25

Dr. Mona

Think of this like listening to a friend on your walk or on your drive to help you find some joy when you need it the most. And like I said, I don’t have it all figured out. I just like to share my experiences. My life goes through UPS and downs, and sometimes it’s a hot freaking mess where I ask myself WTF?

 

00;01;15;27 – 00;01;37;28

Dr. Mona

But I do feel like I can share some of the things that I have gone through. Some of the ways that I reframe and just really have you all feel like you’re in good company, feeling motivated and empowered. I really can’t believe 2021 is almost over. I mean, seriously, can you? Can you believe this? I mean, we have been in this pandemic for almost two years.

 

00;01;38;01 – 00;01;59;09

Dr. Mona

My son Ryaan is almost two years old, probably two years old when you’re listening to this episode. I just cannot believe that we are here. One of the biggest decisions I made at the end of 2020 was going part time at the beginning of this year, and it was actually one of the most difficult decisions I had to make.

 

00;01;59;12 – 00;02;30;09

Dr. Mona

One that I did not anticipate being so hard. I have been working full time in clinical medicine for five years at that time in 2020, and going part time wasn’t in my thought process. You know, we had medical school loans. Both me and my husband, Ryaan, was still young and we needed to build our life financially. But I was also building PedsDocTalk, and I had some dreams for PedsDocTalk, and I wanted more time for that passion and also for my son Ryaan.

 

00;02;30;12 – 00;02;56;28

Dr. Mona

Working full time wasn’t allowing me to do that, and most importantly, I was burning out at my job. You know, I work for corporate medicine, and if you’re not familiar with that, I’ll do another episode talking about the ups and downs of modern pediatric medicine. But I was seeing 35 to 40 patients a day, four days a week, sometimes having to do evening hours once a week or twice a week, Saturday mornings, sometimes Sundays, rounding at the hospital.

 

00;02;56;28 – 00;03;19;27

Dr. Mona

I mean, I was just feeling like I was constantly working. I felt like a hamster on a wheel, always going, always doing something for work. I was honestly miserable and I was coming home cranky and upset. Mostly every day. And it was conversations with my husband where I just felt like this wasn’t me. This isn’t the person I wanted to be for the rest of my life.

 

00;03;20;00 – 00;03;40;29

Dr. Mona

And at the same time, I had Pete’s dog talk that was giving me so much joy because it allows me time. Because I can create actual podcast episodes and YouTubes and really informational content where I didn’t feel the pressure of having to go to the next patient and go to the next patient. So I was going to work where I felt burnt out, and I just felt like, wow, is this real life right here?

 

00;03;41;06 – 00;04;03;16

Dr. Mona

And then I would think about Pete’s talk and I’m like, I can have that. This is what I can do. I can create this platform, but I don’t have enough time to do it because I was working full time and I was a mother, and I wanted that balance. I wanted to still see patients in person. I wanted Pete’s doc talk to be a reality, and I wanted more time emotionally to be with Ryaan.

 

00;04;03;18 – 00;04;22;08

Dr. Mona

When you’re just so burnt out by a job, you come home and you’re cranky, right? To say, lack of a better word, you’re kind of a bitch. Like you just really feel like, exhausted and tired. And I was burnt out. I just felt like I didn’t have any more energy to give anybody else at home, let alone myself.

 

00;04;22;10 – 00;04;38;05

Dr. Mona

And I’ve talked about this so many times how important it is to have energy left for yourself. That is the most important thing we need for us. And I didn’t even have time for that, let alone anybody else. So I had a few options. You know, things weren’t changing at work. This is just the nature of medicine, especially in a pandemic.

 

00;04;38;05 – 00;05;02;00

Dr. Mona

We had to do, do it, do and do and go. So I could either stay at my job and suck it up, I could quit, or I thought about, okay, part time would give me that balance where I can still work clinically, but I’m not there all the time. And maybe by not being there all the time and more hours, I could balance out that joy and work on some passions, be with my family, and still work clinically.

 

00;05;02;03 – 00;05;23;01

Dr. Mona

Quitting 100% wasn’t an option for me because one we had medical school loans. Two we needed my income, three we needed my health insurance. And so I think this is a really important thing to hear, because oftentimes people will say, well, if you’re miserable, why don’t you just quit? And honestly, I hate that advice because it’s not always that easy for everyone.

 

00;05;23;04 – 00;05;42;07

Dr. Mona

And maybe if you’re listening to this, you are also in that same boat that you don’t love your clinical job or corporate job or wherever you’re at, but you need it for financial security or for health insurance or whatever reason. So I don’t want to tell you, hey, just quit your job because we often need the income or we need that security for our expenses.

 

00;05;42;15 – 00;06;01;11

Dr. Mona

And quitting isn’t an option. So we went back and forth deciding whether I should quit, go part time, and we ultimately decided to look at part time. But why was this decision so hard? And I am doing this podcast recording because I felt like a lot of people have asked me, you know, what made you make that decision?

 

00;06;01;11 – 00;06;18;09

Dr. Mona

Because you all may be struggling with that too. Maybe you want to go part time, maybe you want to quit. Maybe you want to go back in the workforce. It’s so hard to make these decisions sometimes. One of the biggest difficulties I had was I was taking a leap and going part time to focus on paid stock talk and build that.

 

00;06;18;12 – 00;06;41;10

Dr. Mona

But what if it failed? What if the reason I went part time didn’t work out? What would I have to show for myself and that mentality is so ingrained in us. And I think if you are a high achieving, you know, highly educated person that went through graduate school and did all these big things in terms of working forever and doing school forever, you have this mentality, perhaps, but I hated that mentality.

 

00;06;41;12 – 00;07;01;15

Dr. Mona

What if I worked on it and it didn’t succeed? I still would have corporate medicine. I would still have a job. I would just have to reapply. But it’s okay to fail. It’s okay if it doesn’t succeed. But that’s the fact that it was my first go to that. Oh well, what if this fails? I was negative self-talk myself.

 

00;07;01;18 – 00;07;21;27

Dr. Mona

I also kept asking myself, well, how can I go part time? I just graduated five years ago at the time that I decided I shouldn’t I be working? I mean, Ryaan is, you know, young. Like, I get it. I could go part time, but is this something I need to do? I also felt guilty about my patients. My patients are used to seeing me, you know, have access to me four days a week.

 

00;07;21;27 – 00;07;41;08

Dr. Mona

But going part time means that I would be available 1 to 2 days a week. Pierce told me that I wouldn’t have patients come to me. They said that. Are you sure you’re going to lose your patient load and talk about guilt? And this was from fellow women mothers, people who’ve been through that. And it hurt a little bit, but the guilt was overwhelming.

 

00;07;41;08 – 00;08;00;04

Dr. Mona

I kept asking myself, well, is this something that’s going to be useful? And will I have patients? So I don’t I do, I have a lot of patients. And then lastly, I’m doing this for pedes doc talk and Ryaan. But I feel kind of bad that I’m really doing this because I would like to build a passion of mine, which is Pete’s dog talk.

 

00;08;00;07 – 00;08;22;00

Dr. Mona

So then I started feeling bad and mommy guilt that maybe why am I not focusing more on my son? But the reality is, it was twofold. It was the fact that if I get to focus on my passion more, I’m more available mentally for my son Ryaan. I’m more available to him rather than being burnt out full time at a corporate medicine job that wasn’t feeding my soul.

 

00;08;22;02 – 00;08;46;03

Dr. Mona

So it was in turn beneficial for him. And 2021 went to show that. So I worked really hard on Pete’s Stock Talk or PD while working full time. I worked on content and podcasting after Ryaan went to bed or napped to help build this into something that could potentially give me some sort of security or financial income and help supplement the losses of going part time.

 

00;08;46;06 – 00;09;08;10

Dr. Mona

2022 gave me some amazing opportunities, not nearly enough to supplement my income, but I took it as a leap and as a message that, you know what? I trust myself. I trust my ability to educate and to work with brands, and I’m going to give myself a shot and go part time. At the time, I decided to go part time.

 

00;09;08;10 – 00;09;29;00

Dr. Mona

This was in fall of 2020. I had nothing lined up for 2021. I was planning on maybe doing a YouTube channel. I still had my podcast. I wasn’t making any money on my podcast. Literally going part time was a big financial risk for my family. But we said, let’s do it. You know, it’s not worth my unhappiness to be completely full time and not work on something.

 

00;09;29;00 – 00;09;50;15

Dr. Mona

That was my passion. We said, let’s try it for 2021 and see where it goes part time. Just a never really crossed my mind because our practice didn’t provide health insurance. And my husband, he’s an independent contractor, which means that although he is an ER physician, he gets paid through a private entity which basically means that he does not get benefits.

 

00;09;50;15 – 00;10;16;13

Dr. Mona

No. 401 K, none of that, no health insurance. So we knew that going in. So it means that we rely on my health insurance. And after Ryaan’s health issues, which with his stroke, with, seizures and then with my fertility struggles, we definitely needed health insurance. So our practice ended up changing the benefits model, offering health insurance with the premium that we have to pay to part timers.

 

00;10;16;15 – 00;10;39;15

Dr. Mona

So I took this as a message that, hey, if this is being offered, I need to possibly look into this to go part time. Had they never offered this, I don’t know if I would have ever gone part time because it was a huge stressor for us because we still had some loans to. So to have less income and have to now pay for insurance out-of-pocket on the marketplace or with a private company was very stressful for us financially.

 

00;10;39;17 – 00;11;00;29

Dr. Mona

So we decided, you know, now that they’re offering it, even though it’s a higher premium. So more money comes out of the front from our paycheck. At least it’s something that will give us some security. Having health insurance. It really came down to joy. Making this decision comes down to finding joy. I’m a big believer that we are most happy in our roles as moms.

 

00;11;00;29 – 00;11;22;14

Dr. Mona

If our other identities can feel fulfilled, if we can find balance in all the things we want to accomplish. And for me, it was not being burnt out at a job in overdrive. Having time to work on pedes to hug talk was what was going to give me some joy. I got to be creative. I got to be excited about working with new brands or getting this new opportunity that I never had.

 

00;11;22;14 – 00;11;55;02

Dr. Mona

The opportunity to have when I was working corporate medicine, and it meant being more mentally present for Ryaan and mentally pleasant for him, meaning that because I was able to put my awake energy and my time into passion projects, into the YouTube channel, into the podcast, that brings me a lot of joy. I felt happier, and with that, I was able to be more present and pleasant for him, overcoming this guilt has been hard, and that guilt has largely been work driven.

 

00;11;55;04 – 00;12;14;08

Dr. Mona

Patients who have asked me, you know why I don’t work full time or why I’m not available more? How come it’s so hard to get in contact with me? And although this is tough, I have to look out for my mental health burnout and my dreams, for my family and for myself. So yes, it means that I am there two days less a week.

 

00;12;14;15 – 00;12;37;29

Dr. Mona

Yes, it means that I can’t always answer phone calls every day of the week, but it also means that when I am there, I’m way more available. Burnout is a hard thing. When you’re burnt out, you lose desire to want to be at work. You lose compassion. And by allowing this balance of being able to focus on my dreams, I feel like I’ve been a more present and open pediatrician.

 

00;12;38;02 – 00;12;58;16

Dr. Mona

As women, we’re givers. As mothers, we are givers. And as a health care professional, we are constantly giving, giving in terms of looking out for others needs. What do people want? What are they need at this moment? And honestly, I needed to do something for me. I needed to focus on something that brought me joy, and I know what you’re thinking.

 

00;12;58;16 – 00;13;27;24

Dr. Mona

Well, isn’t educating other people helping other people? Isn’t that giving? But there’s something about creating. There’s something about creating reels and creating posts and having to figure out all of that design. You know, all that stuff for YouTube and podcasts. I give me a lot of joy because it’s different. It was like a passion project for something that I was never used to doing, and it was so great for me for 2021, going part time was the best decision I ever made in 2021.

 

00;13;27;24 – 00;13;47;07

Dr. Mona

In terms of my work life balance, the time I’ve opened up has allowed me to say yes to more opportunities, which in turn has snowballed into even more opportunities with Pete’s doc talk, things that I never even imagined. And it happened because I took a risk. I took a risk in 2020, trusting myself and saying, I can do this.

 

00;13;47;10 – 00;14;06;04

Dr. Mona

I have faith in myself and my abilities and my way that I educate that in 2021, I will get opportunities that will never have happened before. I’ve been able to start a YouTube and of course this year, which was my dream. And honestly, when I created a vision board at the end of 2020, I had no vision to start a course in 2021.

 

00;14;06;04 – 00;14;30;08

Dr. Mona

I thought that was going to be in the way future, but it happened, and it happened because I was able to build the podcast, build YouTube and build this Instagram community. Pete Stock Talk. These decisions are hard as working moms, but I do believe the following to be true. We can’t forget our passions and our other identities. Sometimes they need to take a backseat while we focus on other priorities.

 

00;14;30;08 – 00;14;53;16

Dr. Mona

So, for example, maybe you are a mom and you have to focus on something going on with your child that’s in the forefront. Sleep issues, behavioral issues. So maybe you’ll have to take a backseat with friendships or for relationships your partner. But you have to recognize that those relationships are also important. Those identity E’s are also important. But don’t ever forget about the parts that made you who you are.

 

00;14;53;17 – 00;15;16;28

Dr. Mona

When that role that is needing you at that moment is in the forefront. For me, these roles were mom, pediatrician, wife, family member, relative, however you want to call it, and now entrepreneur for Pete’s Dog Talk. I had to understand that I can’t be amazing at all things at all given moments, but I had to understand the how are all those identities going to work together?

 

00;15;17;00 – 00;15;36;13

Dr. Mona

When am I going to prioritize one over the other? Being a mom is always going to be a priority to me whenever I do to do lists. Ryaan stuff always takes precedent, even over my husband’s relationship with me and even over my own stuff. And it’s because I am a mother. I have to do that stuff for him because he can’t do it for himself.

 

00;15;36;16 – 00;15;59;19

Dr. Mona

But then I also look, what can I outsource? What can my partner do for me if he’s not available? Do I want to hire someone? If I don’t have hired help, how can I take the workload off my plate? But it’s important to recognize these other identities so you don’t lose yourself in this process. Number two, take the leap if you’re unhappy, especially if you’re unhappy with work.

 

00;15;59;22 – 00;16;19;04

Dr. Mona

I want you to make a change. I don’t want you to feel that this has to be your life. I remember when I was so burnt out, I went into work and I just would stare and I would tell myself, is this real life? Is this going to be my forever? And how terrible to feel that way at a job where you spent years going through education and schooling?

 

00;16;19;04 – 00;16;51;05

Dr. Mona

I mean, that felt terrible. So take the leap if you’re unhappy. But it does mean having to talk to your partner or looking at your own finances to figure out if this is an option. Sometimes even just cutting back hours is the answer. So rather than being full time going to point eight, you know, sometimes that is the way that you can find joy because you have a little more time for those extra things, whether it’s sitting on the couch, whether it’s pursuing a passion, whatever it is, even if you go part time, you don’t have to have a reason to go part time.

 

00;16;51;05 – 00;17;10;07

Dr. Mona

You don’t have to. I just want you to have time to fill your pot with something that makes you feel happy. Nothing is worth being unhappy for, so it’s important to find a way to bring that joy back. Number three, you can always go back to the workforce. Whether you go part time or end up quitting your job.

 

00;17;10;09 – 00;17;33;25

Dr. Mona

Remember, jobs will always be there in this climate. Yes, you may have to reapply, but you will always find a job, especially if you’ve gone through major education. But even so, there are always going to be jobs. I think our fear holds us back, but you will always have opportunities, and sometimes taking a risk and taking a chance on yourself will open up even more opportunities that you didn’t know was possible.

 

00;17;33;28 – 00;17;58;06

Dr. Mona

Number four happiness should be a measure of success. Also, I was scared to go part time because I really felt, well, what will I have to show for this? What if PDT doesn’t succeed? How am I going to contribute to my family? You know, if I don’t have an income? Well, here’s the thing. If I went part time and even if PDT didn’t succeed, I would be happier because I wouldn’t be working all the time.

 

00;17;58;06 – 00;18;19;23

Dr. Mona

I’d have more time for Ryaan. I would have more time for myself. I’d be able to go to the gym and work out. So is it happiness? Something to celebrate? Sometimes I feel like we have to show something tangible, like money becoming a homemaker. Well, what did you do all day? I hate that question. Stay at home moms get that women who are part time who get get that, and also women who are full time.

 

00;18;19;23 – 00;18;36;13

Dr. Mona

Well, what did you do all day? What do you mean, what did I do all day? I mean, I’m working, I’m resting. Let me just be. But what if cutting back just makes you happy? That should be worth it in itself. The reasons we change our work life balance and cutting back from work can be filled with so much guilt.

 

00;18;36;16 – 00;18;56;10

Dr. Mona

Maybe we have a reason to build something else. Or maybe it’s just to have more alone time, time at home, or time with your significant other or your child. You don’t owe anybody an explanation on what you’re doing with your time. As long as you’re filling your cup with joy and having a conversation with your partner about finances.

 

00;18;56;10 – 00;19;20;21

Dr. Mona

Because I know how important that is to so many families, that is the most important thing. Number five, trust yourself. If you are going part time or quitting because you don’t love your job or you’re trying to pursue a passion project, really believe in yourself. Trust what you can bring to the table. If you trust yourself and believe in yourself, anything is possible.

 

00;19;20;21 – 00;19;45;15

Dr. Mona

And it makes me very emotional because I didn’t trust myself. I told myself that this is going to fail. I had the negative self-talk, I had all of it, and I had to snap myself into it and say, what do you have to lose here? You are going to build something and you are going to work hard. And I trusted my work ethic and I trusted my expertise, and I trusted who I am as a person.

 

00;19;45;17 – 00;20;14;07

Dr. Mona

And I took a bet on myself, and it was the biggest bet I ever took in terms of work life balance. And it has paid off for my happiness and also financially, part time has changed my life. It has allowed me to still clinically see patients, spend my weekends being more present with Ryaan, and work on something so near and dear to me, which is stock talk.

 

00;20;14;09 – 00;20;36;06

Dr. Mona

I call PedsDocTalk my other baby. I can’t thank you enough for listening to my podcast, watching my YouTubes, engaging with my posts, all of that. Because this is very important to me. This brings me joy to educate other people and empower mothers, especially through this podcast and this new series. It brings me light and it gives me that fire that I lost.

 

00;20;36;11 – 00;21;01;00

Dr. Mona

Working full time in corporate medicine, PDT has grown so much thanks to me, allowing time for it. It has been a dream created in 2021 and I can’t wait to see where it goes next year. I really encourage you that if you have a dream, I want you to figure out ways and take steps to find a way to reach that goal.

 

00;21;01;02 – 00;21;30;28

Dr. Mona

How can you in 2022 work in months to reach that goal? To maybe go part time? Quit your job, find joy to balance that work life? I know you can do it. It takes some planning, it takes some financial planning, and it takes a lot of faith in yourself. And I know by listening to this podcast and this series, finding Joy, you will reach that potential and understand that you are capable of finding joy yourself.

 

00;21;31;00 – 00;21;46;29

Dr. Mona

Thank you for joining me for this episode. If you love this new series finding Joy, definitely leave a review. Share this episode on your social media channels by screenshotting the podcast and linking it. Thank you so much for joining me, and I’ll see you next time for finding Joy.