Potty training can feel smooth one day and completely off track the next. In this Follow Up episode of the PedsDocTalk podcast, Dr. Mona revisits a favorite potty training conversation while actively potty training her own youngest child and dealing with very real regressions.

Dr. Mona is joined by Allison Jandu, founder of The Potty Training Consultant, to break down readiness, timing, and how to choose a method that fits your child and your family. They talk through the average age for potty training, common signs of readiness, and why age alone should not drive the decision.

This episode compares gradual approaches and shorter weekend-style methods, explores why some kids resist even when they seem ready, and explains how pressure, timers, and rewards can sometimes backfire. You will also hear practical guidance on floor potties versus toilet seats, using daily routines to support learning, and helping kids feel more in control through play and choice.

If potty training feels confusing, frustrating, or messier than expected, this episode offers reassurance, perspective, and realistic support.

Want more? Listen to the full, ⁠original episode⁠.

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00;00;00;03 – 00;00;26;09

Dr. Mona

Welcome back to the follow up. Where we revisit a favorite episode on the PedsDocTalk podcast. In less time than it takes your toddler to decide, they absolutely will not sit on the potty. I’ve been there. I’m releasing this one for a very real reason. We are potty training our last child. Yes, last, which means we are close to being done with diapers and pull ups and I’m so excited!

 

00;00;26;12 – 00;00;46;02

Dr. Mona

And also, we are dealing with some very normal, very hard regressions and more on that in a future YouTube video, because when potty training feels like it suddenly went off the rails, it helps to come back to the basics. In this episode, I welcome Allison, the founder of the Potty Training consultant, to walk through readiness, timing, methods and how to support kids without pressure.

 

00;00;46;04 – 00;01;04;11

Dr. Mona

And if you want more support, I also have my own potty training guide and a course to walk you through this step by step. If this episode helps you, make sure to subscribe! Download the episode if you haven’t heard it yet. Those two things are very important for the show to grow. Or download the full episode linked in the bio and please share it!

 

00;01;04;12 – 00;01;18;03

Dr. Mona

Tag at the PedsDocTalk podcast at PedsDocTalk so other parents and caregivers know they are not alone in this phase. Let’s get to it.

 

00;01;18;05 – 00;01;24;28

Dr. Mona

So what is the average age in terms of, you know, in the US for boys and girls? Is it different? Is it the same?

 

00;01;25;00 – 00;01;42;03

Allison Jandu

It’s it varies by a couple of months, but, the average overall is right around, 36 months. For girls, it’s a little bit on the younger end. I think girls is around 32 months and boys are around 38 months, so it kind of averages out right around 36.

 

00;01;42;06 – 00;01;50;19

Dr. Mona

Do you feel that toddlers should start potty training at a certain time, or when they show certain signs of readiness, or is it a combination of both?

 

00;01;50;22 – 00;02;26;15

Allison Jandu

Yeah, so it’s kind of a combination of both the child’s age, and, you know, developmental readiness and then also a combination of your family’s lifestyle and timeline and, daily routines and things like that have to come, come into play as well. So usually I’ve, I’ve kind of honed it in for, you know, average children that, you know, the ideal kind of age to start potty training, at least introducing the concept of potty training is between 22 and 28 months, which is, lower than the average right now in the US.

 

00;02;26;15 – 00;02;58;21

Allison Jandu

But that tends to be the age that kids are most, developmentally ready for the process. As in, they’re, you know, well, from a biological perspective, they’re starting to have more control over their bladder and their bowels. You know, and then developmentally as well, they’re starting to become more aware of their body. And, you know, you may notice that they start to ask to have their diaper changed when they’re wet or dirty or, just having a general interest in the bathroom, wanting to know what’s going on in there, hiding to have a bowel movement.

 

00;02;58;28 – 00;03;21;28

Allison Jandu

Maybe they’re staying dry for naps and overnight now where they weren’t before. So those are some of the kind of signs that you can look for. But it’s also important, too, that you can’t nail it down to just a specific age or number because you have to also consider your your daily life and make sure that potty training is something that can fit in your your lifestyle without being super stressful for your child or for the parents.

 

00;03;22;00 – 00;03;41;06

Allison Jandu

So you don’t want to introduce potty training when there’s a lot of change taking place? You know, if you’re moving or having a new baby or going through a divorce or something like that, you want to wait until life is kind of settled down and as normal as possible. So before you introduce potty training to to keep it smooth and consistent for everyone.

 

00;03;41;08 – 00;03;54;07

Dr. Mona

Yeah, very similar to a lot of the other things we do in parenting. So what are the various methods I, you mentioned beautifully the signs of readiness, and you have two children who kind of did, different kind of methods, probably. But what would.

 

00;03;54;07 – 00;03;55;01

Dr. Mona

You say are.

 

00;03;55;08 – 00;03;59;01

Dr. Mona

Two or maybe three methods that a family can use?

 

00;03;59;03 – 00;04;40;06

Allison Jandu

Sure. So you can kind of narrow it down into, like a longer, more drawn out kind of gradual approach. And then there’s kind of the like the three day or the weekend methods that you hear about where it’s almost like a, like a boot boot camp type kind of session. So, you know, with a longer, kind of more gradual introduction to potty training would be where, the parent starts, you know, really at any age with having a small potty, letting the child become familiar with it, teaching them things about the bathroom or reading books about using the potty together, talking them through the steps of going to the

 

00;04;40;06 – 00;05;08;08

Allison Jandu

bathroom when when the parents are going to the bathroom themselves. You know, kind of all leading up to, to the child using it eventually, you know, you can start out with, just them using the potty at one set time per day, until they start to get more comfortable and more confident with using it. And before you, you decide to go in and ditch the diapers all at one time, or you can take more of a, what a lot of people feel will be a faster approach.

 

00;05;08;08 – 00;05;28;16

Allison Jandu

And that’s just to kind of choose a weekend and, take off all the diapers and let probably involves letting the child run around naked for a certain period of time, trying to, catch as much poop in the potty as possible. And, so that would be kind of more of the three day type method that is is quite popular nowadays.

 

00;05;28;16 – 00;05;36;22

Allison Jandu

I feel like with, parents working schedules, that tends to, to fit in a little bit better than trying to do something more long term.

 

00;05;36;25 – 00;05;57;08

Dr. Mona

Yeah, I find the the shorter method, that method is actually my preferred method. But of course I like talking about the other ones in case that that method doesn’t stick, or in case the family is not amenable to that, because they’re obviously with the, you know, diaper off, maybe even using just regular underwear or being completely naked, there’s likely going to be accidents on the floor.

 

00;05;57;10 – 00;06;14;03

Dr. Mona

There’s likely they’re not going to make it to the toilet all the time. So some families, you know, in my office will say, oh, well, you know, I have carpet and I don’t feel comfortable. And then you have the other options too. So I think I agree there’s those two options there. Do you feel like you can kind of say based on the child or the parent.

 

00;06;14;03 – 00;06;17;17

Dr. Mona

Well, this method might be better for, a family.

 

00;06;17;18 – 00;06;39;06

Allison Jandu

Yeah. So both factors kind of come into play. It definitely has to be something that, you know, works for your family and your schedule and your beliefs and all of those kinds of things. I usually find that kids that tend to be, more on the stubborn end of the spectrum or that may have more difficulty with change, tend to do better with a more gradual approach.

 

00;06;39;09 – 00;07;04;17

Allison Jandu

So that that way, you know, you can kind of get them on board with the process without any pressure for them to actually do anything. Before you dive in and actually get rid of diapers, that tends to help them prepare mentally a little bit more for the upcoming changes. Whereas if you have like a kiddo that’s pretty laid back, then, you can do the the weekend method with really no issue, and they tend to take to it pretty quickly.

 

00;07;04;19 – 00;07;13;29

Dr. Mona

Does the gradual method, usually involve some sort of reward system like sticker charts? If the child’s older or really does that just depend on what they want to do with the gradual method?

 

00;07;14;02 – 00;07;36;04

Allison Jandu

Yeah, that kind of depends. Usually I don’t recommend, using rewards necessarily until you’re actually in the throes of potty training where you’re actually rewarding potty use. You know, it’s it’s definitely encouraged to, to praise and, you know, you can even do, like a little sticker or, or something like that for their efforts. As far as sitting on the potty.

 

00;07;36;06 – 00;07;41;21

Allison Jandu

But when you’re just kind of in that building up to phase, then rewards aren’t really needed just yet.

 

00;07;41;23 – 00;07;58;25

Dr. Mona

Awesome. And if you’re doing a gradual method, does that just look like, them obviously, if they’re showing an interest or showing signs, taking them to the potty, or would you recommend them doing like timed use of the potty where it’s, hey, it’s noon, let’s use the potty? Or is that just also kind of cater to the family?

 

00;07;58;28 – 00;08;19;05

Allison Jandu

Yeah, well, transitional times are always a great time to have potty use because it fits really easily into the routine. And, it can be, you know, it can be a step that’s easily added into the child’s everyday routine already. So, you know, like waking up in the morning, after meals, before sleep time, before leaving the house.

 

00;08;19;05 – 00;08;41;14

Allison Jandu

Those are all really good transitional points to introduce potty use. And, and you know, that’s again, something that can fit pretty seamlessly into the child’s routine without causing too much disruption. Aside from that, though, I really try to get parents to shy away from using like, timers and things like that when their kiddos are sitting on the potty.

 

00;08;41;14 – 00;09;09;09

Allison Jandu

Just because I find that, the child can start to become dependent on a prompt from their parent, or their, you know, their bladder or bowels may never get full enough to, have their bodies recognize those sensations of when they really need to go. So I find that it really encourages and, you know, accelerates self initiation when you aren’t using those prompted potty times.

 

00;09;09;09 – 00;09;11;29

Allison Jandu

Aside from those transitional periods.

 

00;09;12;01 – 00;09;37;03

Dr. Mona

You know, that’s a great point. I agree with that also. And also the timer also can add to stress on the potty sometimes. And maybe we’ll get into that a little bit. But there is that sort of component that we don’t want to pressure too much. It’s that fine balance of supporting and like you said, encouraging, but also not making this a scary thing because some children can get very scared of the process of poop coming out of their body and splashing into the toilet.

 

00;09;37;03 – 00;09;57;23

Dr. Mona

So, yeah, it’s something very common that I think parents may not realize that that can be scary for a kid. What do you do if a child is showing signs of readiness? You mentioned the signs of readiness earlier, but they’re resistant, meaning they’re fighting it. They you put them on the toilet and they just kick their legs and they’re just not, you know, liking that sort of experience.

 

00;09;57;23 – 00;10;03;06

Dr. Mona

What would be kind of a, gradual way or some tips to kind of helping parents to deal with that.

 

00;10;03;08 – 00;10;25;01

Allison Jandu

Yeah. So for kids that are resistant, it can be it can be really confusing for parents because it can kind of send the, the false message that they’re not ready for potty training, which might not necessarily be true. It’s just, kind of the child’s natural, you know, like, defense mechanism to fight against any kind of change in their routine sometimes.

 

00;10;25;01 – 00;10;47;21

Allison Jandu

So, it doesn’t necessarily mean that they’re not ready. And, really, I always stress that consistency and commitment have to be present in order for you to see success with potty training. So you can’t really be bouncing around too much between, you know, between diapers and underwear, because it’s going to send some mixed messages in. The child’s not really going to fully know what’s expected of them.

 

00;10;47;24 – 00;11;10;01

Allison Jandu

It’s definitely okay to set some clear boundaries when it comes to potty training, as with any kind of, you know, behavioral aspect. But ultimately, I always tell parents, you know, to kind of search down in, in those instincts, those parental instincts and see, like, you know, are they really not ready for this or is it just are they just being difficult?

 

00;11;10;01 – 00;11;40;09

Allison Jandu

Like, are they just being resistant to the change? And sometimes, like I mentioned earlier, kids that tend to to be that way. And you may have noticed that in other aspects of their development that you can take more of that gradual approach to get them on board with the process before you actually start. So that way, they kind of see it coming and it’s not just, you know, something that you’re blindsiding them with one weekend when you decide that, you know, you have three days off in a row, so you’re going to, have them use the potty instead of a diaper.

 

00;11;40;12 – 00;11;46;17

Allison Jandu

So that’s that’s usually what I tell parents to think about, you know, when they’re experiencing those kind of issues.

 

00;11;46;20 – 00;11;56;09

Dr. Mona

And does it matter if you put the toilet on the on the regular toilet? Obviously they have the one there and then they have the one on the ground. Do you have a preference on which one to use?

 

00;11;56;12 – 00;12;29;01

Allison Jandu

Well it depends. I usually like a healthy combination of both because, it will help with the transition from, you know, potty to toilet and toileting and other, places, especially out in public or at family members houses and things like that, or at school, so by introducing both from the beginning is usually an ideal situation. If you have a child that’s on the younger end of the spectrum or is petite, or if they’ve had issues with pooping, particularly in the past, then a floor potty can really be a friend for you.

 

00;12;29;04 – 00;12;48;02

Allison Jandu

Because it’s, it’s their size. It’s less intimidating than the toilet. There’s a lot less sensory stuff happening with the small potty than there is the regular toilet. And it also puts them in a better position for for having bowel movements. Then, if their feet are just kind of dangling when they’re sitting on the toilet instead.

 

00;12;48;05 – 00;13;08;24

Dr. Mona

And so going back to the, you know, gradual methods in terms of if a child is more resistant, does things like preparing them, obviously for the potty training that may happen, that can be helpful. But things like reading, like reading books about potty training, having them see the parent, use the restroom, what are other ways can make a child feel more comfortable with what may happen with potty training?

 

00;13;08;26 – 00;13;37;25

Allison Jandu

Yeah, so ultimately, kids that are resistant to something are just kind of trying to maintain some level of control over a situation from what I found. So any way that you’re allowed that you’re able to kind of allow them to feel some sort of control is, you know, they allow it to feel as though something that it that you’re doing with them as opposed to something you’re doing to them, so that they feel involved in the process, let them choose their own underwear.

 

00;13;37;27 – 00;13;58;29

Allison Jandu

Those kinds of things will help them feel included in the process, and they’ll be more likely to use those things properly. If they’ve chosen them themselves, they’ll have that sense of the ownership. And also, playing like pretend play is a really great way to introduce the concept of potty training, because it allows your child to be the teacher.

 

00;13;59;01 – 00;14;21;21

Allison Jandu

You know, so you can take their favorite dolls or toys or, whatever, and have the child kind of teach them how to use the potty and, that can be a really great way because kids learn so well through play and and it and it’s them being in control, the situation as opposed to you being in control of them with their potty.

 

00;14;21;21 – 00;14;32;00

Allison Jandu

You so kind of using that in that phase where you’re building up to potty use can be really helpful as well.

 

00;14;32;02 – 00;14;53;12

Dr. Mona

And that’s your follow up. Just a small dose of the real relatable and eye opening conversations we love to have here. If you smiled, nodded, or had an moment, go ahead and download, follow and share this episode with a friend. Let’s grow this village together for more everyday parenting wins and real talk. Hang out with us on Instagram at the PedsDocTalk podcast.

 

00;14;53;19 – 00;15;09;03

Dr. Mona

Want more? Dive into the full episode and more at PedsDoctalk.com. Because parenting is better with support. And remember, consistency is key. Humor is medicine and follow ups are everything. I’m Doctor Mona. See you next time for your next dose.