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A podcast for parents regarding the health and wellness of their children.
The Fussy Newborn (Colic and more)
No Description
In this episode, I discuss:
00;00;05;28 – 00;00;36;16
Dr. Mona
Hey, everyone, welcome to the PedsDocTalk podcast. I’m your host, Doctor Mona, where each week I hope to educate and inspire you in your journey through parenthood with information on your most common concerns as a parent and interviews with fellow parents and experts in the field. My hope is you leave each week feeling more educated, confident and empowered in the decisions you make for your child.
00;00;36;18 – 00;01;00;23
Dr. Mona
Hello! I hope you’re having a great start to your day. This week’s episode is all about fussy babies, and I’m reserving this discussion more so for fussy babies in that newborn period, the first three months of life. And if you’re not a parent already, the sound of your crying baby is one of the hardest things to hear. I am a pediatrician and in my office and in the newborn nursery I hear crying all day.
00;01;00;28 – 00;01;21;09
Dr. Mona
I get used to it in my office because it happens so much. But when it’s your own baby, it’s extremely difficult. It pierces straight through your heart. This episode will discuss the term colic, infant gas, soothing mechanisms for your babies, and the psychological impact of taking care of a fussy baby. Because let me tell you, it is extremely difficult.
00;01;21;12 – 00;01;41;09
Dr. Mona
I hope by the end of this episode you get some insight into why babies fuss, why some degree of fuss is okay, and some strategies to help you get through this very difficult part of being a parent. And if you haven’t already, make sure you listen to the caring for your newborn in the first trimester episode, because these two episodes will go hand in hand.
00;01;41;11 – 00;02;03;23
Dr. Mona
So I don’t really like the term colic, so I’m sure you guys have heard of colic. Colic. The definition basically is a baby under three months of age who cries for more than three hours a day for more than three days a week for three or more weeks. And the reason why I don’t like this label is that who is to decide what a normal amount of crying is for a baby?
00;02;03;25 – 00;02;24;06
Dr. Mona
Every single baby has a different temperament, which basically means a different nature, right? And some will cry more than others. Some will be extremely calm. So it’s really hard to say. Well, is this normal? Can’t a baby just cry and it be okay? So that’s why I don’t like this label. Also, when you look at colic, there is no treatment per se for colic.
00;02;24;11 – 00;02;43;24
Dr. Mona
It’s almost a description of a symptom. So when that’s the case, I really like to reassure parents that, hey, even if your baby is colicky, it is a phase. And things that you’ll hear in this episode can get you through this difficult phase. And I want you to kind of think about why a baby might be fussy, and there may be no reason for it.
00;02;44;01 – 00;03;04;04
Dr. Mona
So if you think about a baby, they’re nice and cozy in a dark room womb for months. They’re evicted into the outside world. It’s loud, it’s hot, it’s cold, there’s lights, there’s noises. They have to wear, diapers. They have to feed at a bottle or breast. There’s just a lot out here to get used to. And sometimes they’re going to be fussy for no reason at all.
00;03;04;07 – 00;03;21;16
Dr. Mona
And I want you to think of it like us as adults, sometimes we too are in a mood for no apparent reason. And I really want to tell you that it’s normal. Your job as a new parent is to decide, why is my baby crying? Are they hungry? Do they have a dirty diaper? Do they want to be held?
00;03;21;17 – 00;03;49;08
Dr. Mona
Do they want to be consoled? What is it that I can do to stop the fuss? But sometimes, as you will realize, if you have not had a child, or if you have already had one and gone through this, sometimes you just can’t stop the crying. And it can be very okay. So like I said, when I go through this episode, you’re going to find out ways to soothe your baby, things to consider, and also reasons that I, as a pediatrician, would be worried about a child.
00;03;49;10 – 00;04;10;14
Dr. Mona
Commonly, parents will report that the fussiness begins between about two weeks to about eight weeks old. You go through a honeymoon period, typically where you get home from the hospital. The first two weeks, everything seems okay. The families will come into my office. They’re like, I don’t know what everyone’s talking about. This is actually really easy and I am so happy they feel that way.
00;04;10;14 – 00;04;33;11
Dr. Mona
But I also say that, hey, just in case baby does start to get fussy, I want to reassure you. Here are the things to look out for. And lo and behold, it does happen. Now not all babies have fussy episodes. Some babies will be crying. You’ll know exactly why they’re crying. But a large majority of babies will go through this sort of fussy, colicky type phase.
00;04;33;14 – 00;04;53;13
Dr. Mona
Now, a lot of the reason why this happens is their little guts are developing and they’re swallowing more air, which can make them a little bit more gassy. But that being said, there’s a lot of colicky or fussy babies that are not gassy, which I’ll get into some some scenarios and some reasons why that might be. So imagine the scenario.
00;04;53;13 – 00;05;18;22
Dr. Mona
It’s 2 a.m., the baby is crying and crying and crying. Baby’s not hungry, doesn’t have a dirty diaper. You’ve already rocked, baby. And the baby just won’t stop crying. So the parents caretakers are sleep deprived. One parent is also usually crying also because they just can’t settle the baby. That’s usually the milk and they pass the baby back and forth, back and forth and nothing seems to work.
00;05;18;24 – 00;05;37;26
Dr. Mona
Hour goes by, another hour goes by and baby’s still crying. And this is one of the common, common reasons we get phone calls into nursing lines in the middle of the night from new parents that they can’t console their newborn baby. And when I get to the end of this talk, I’ll talk about the reasons to call for medical reasons.
00;05;38;02 – 00;05;57;19
Dr. Mona
But I just want to reassure you that this does happen, and it is something that you will get through, because we all have gone through it with Ryan Ryan’s temperament is amazing. I have to say, we did some strategies that I think really did help also to kind of deal with the fuss. But yeah, we went through this to where he would just start crying and crying.
00;05;57;25 – 00;06;14;27
Dr. Mona
I think it started for us around the four week mark. We spent about two weeks in the hospital. For those of you who are follow me, follow me on Instagram. But we started to see this around 3 to 4 weeks where he would just get fussy and three in the morning. No reason at all. He wasn’t hungry, he wasn’t taking the bottle.
00;06;14;29 – 00;06;35;09
Dr. Mona
He was already consoled. My husband would walk him around the room and he would just still cry. And then finally, after putting a pacifier and just rocking him and finally just letting him settle himself, he finally went to sleep. One of the hardest things about dealing with a fussy baby is the worry. It gives the parent and you are already sleep deprived.
00;06;35;13 – 00;07;00;23
Dr. Mona
You want to do everything right for your baby, but sometimes not doing too much is better. So it can be this obsession with stopping crying that causes them to fuss more. And so it’s important to find what soothing mechanism work best for your child and implement them, but to not overdo it. One of the hardest things about the first few months is getting to know your baby, which is why I wanted you to listen to the other episode.
00;07;00;27 – 00;07;19;07
Dr. Mona
Caring for your newborn in the first trimester. Because when you start to understand your baby’s temperament, you’re going to understand what works for your baby because it’s not a one size fits all approach. And I need you to remember that because your friend could say, well, yeah, why don’t you bounce on a yoga ball with baby? Why don’t you put the pacifier?
00;07;19;14 – 00;07;43;06
Dr. Mona
But it may not always work with your baby. Like, for example, Ryan didn’t like white noise. So when Ryan, when we had the white noise machine, he really didn’t settle with it. He settled with the pacifier. He settled with swaddling. So you’re going to have to find out, well, what works best for your baby. And I don’t believe that everything works the same for every baby.
00;07;43;08 – 00;08;04;14
Dr. Mona
Many parents will describe that their baby, who’s fussy, is also gassy. But like I said earlier, not all fussy babies are gassy. There’s just babies who are fussy and parents do not report any gas. I do, however, want to go through newborn gas in case you’re finding your baby is dealing with this. So gas basically symptoms that a baby might be gassy.
00;08;04;14 – 00;08;23;15
Dr. Mona
Obviously you’re going to hear the the gas be passed. They may cry while passing the gas. They may arched their back, turned red in the face. They may make a lot of grimaces when they’re trying to pass that gas. Two main reasons why a baby becomes gassy. Think of it this way swallowing air and an immature digestive system.
00;08;23;17 – 00;08;46;03
Dr. Mona
So swallowing air. A lot of crying happens throughout the day. And when you cry, you open your mouth and you swallow air. So the more baby cries, the more gassy they can get. And it leads to that vicious cycle that they’re gassy. They cry and then they cry. And then they get more gassy because they swallow air going down to their digestive system and making them gassy.
00;08;46;06 – 00;09;08;23
Dr. Mona
The other reason why you swallow air is an improper latch or a tongue tie. So if your baby is a breastfeeding baby, you have a painful latch. You would want to make sure that your pediatrician checks to make sure that the baby’s not tongue tied, because a tongue tie or an improper latch can affect the ability to feed well, and can also cause the baby to swallow more air.
00;09;09;00 – 00;09;37;12
Dr. Mona
So it’s important to assess that as well. The other reason, like I mentioned, that a baby may become gassy is an immature digestive system. So every day, just like they’re developing in every other way, they’re doing milestones and whatnot, their gut is also developing. So every day you’re going to see new bacteria and enzymes that are evolving. And the example that I give just to kind of give you a scenario is that Ryan Ryan is 100% formula fed pretty much from birth.
00;09;37;12 – 00;09;57;09
Dr. Mona
We did a little bit of express breast milk, but, if you follow me on my Instagram, we unfortunately had birth trauma and I wasn’t able to continue breastfeeding. So we we did formula. And even though I have always given him formula and I’m not mixing breast milk, I’m not eating certain foods, doesn’t really matter because I’m giving him formula, even though it’s only formula.
00;09;57;15 – 00;10;22;07
Dr. Mona
His poops will change day by day and he’ll be more gassy day by day. And it really has to do with the fact that the gut is developing every single moment. So to blame food and to blame other things is not always the answer. When a baby’s fussy because their digestive system is always changing. So a lot of parents will say, you know, oh my gosh, baby’s so gassy and it’s so bothersome.
00;10;22;09 – 00;10;42;04
Dr. Mona
And I really want to give you this perspective. Gas is a very normal part of being a human and especially a baby. So just like everything else, like I said, is developing. Their gut is also developing and they will be gassy. But the gas also gets better. And more importantly, they get better at handling the gas. So they will always be gassy.
00;10;42;04 – 00;11;04;10
Dr. Mona
Yes, it’s it can be worse in the first trimester or the fourth trimester, but you’re going to start to see that they won’t grimace as much with the with the passing of gas. They’re not going to grimace as much when they pass poop. They’re going to make a lot of faces. Babies make a ton of faces grunting sound, and you’re going to jump at every sound.
00;11;04;13 – 00;11;23;26
Dr. Mona
My advice is that take a moment before you jump or intervene. Give them a moment to let it out on their own. If they’re still squirming after 1 or 2 minutes, you know, at your discretion, you decide how long is too long, but give them that moment. If they’re still squirming, then pick them up and help them with the methods.
00;11;23;26 – 00;11;44;20
Dr. Mona
I’ll go over, but allow them that 1 or 2 minutes to pass it on it on their own. Why? This sensation is new to them. The sensation is something like they’ve never experienced. They’re a baby. They’ve never had to pass gas. They’ve never had to pass poop out into the outside world. But if you allow them that moment, this is something they’re gonna have to do the rest of their life.
00;11;44;22 – 00;12;02;03
Dr. Mona
So take that moment, because it really helps that you’re not overly like, I need to stop this gas. I need to help you poop. Give them a moment. If they can’t do it on their own, you’re there for them. You guys are going to find that this is my motto in parenting. Allowing a moment before you respond.
00;12;02;08 – 00;12;23;28
Dr. Mona
So changing those reactions to responses, right? Reaction comes from a place of fear. You’re like, oh my God, I got to do something. Whereas responding is a more calm, cool, collected response to a baby, right? So this concept is huge. And it begins in this period when they’re squirming. I speak more about this sort of pause method. In my caring for your baby in the fourth trimester episode.
00;12;23;29 – 00;12;50;05
Dr. Mona
So make sure you listen to that now. Now that you know why we get gassy, or why babies get gassy, the crying, the swallowing air, the immature digestive system. I want to talk about some reasons and things you may have heard on the internet or mommy groups about what we can do to help the gas. And you know, I do hear people say, well, this causes the baby’s gas, but I’m going to kind of hash all this out for you.
00;12;50;08 – 00;13;06;10
Dr. Mona
So the first thing people say is remove certain foods, and I, I actually am on a mommy group and I think I need to leave because all the medical advice given on these mommy groups are false many times. So it drives me crazy. But one common thing that you’ll hear is that you have to go on this elimination diet.
00;13;06;15 – 00;13;26;16
Dr. Mona
If your baby’s gassy and you’re breastfeeding, you can’t eat certain food. And that may be true for certain things. But I would not eliminate food until you talk to your child’s pediatrician. I’m going to be speaking separately about milk protein allergy, because that’s the only thing that 100% mothers need to remove from their diet. If they’re if we’re concerned about that.
00;13;26;22 – 00;13;47;20
Dr. Mona
But colic alone is not milk protein allergy. So please do not eliminate things from your diet before speaking to a doctor, okay? Why? We want you to speak to your child’s pediatrician before you make any changes is that we want to hear the symptoms. We want to know, well, why is this happening before you start making changes and then we’re having to play catch up with what you what you’ve already done.
00;13;47;20 – 00;14;09;07
Dr. Mona
So just run it by them, see what they say. Typically, how I advise food elimination is that if you are eating food and it is making you gassy, and every time you eat that food, you notice that baby toots and farts so much, then consider eliminating. But you have to see a strict correlation with that. Every time you eat eggs.
00;14;09;11 – 00;14;31;15
Dr. Mona
The baby’s farting a lot. Every single time. Every single time that you eat broccoli, the baby is having issues with gas. Then you eliminate broccoli. What I don’t want is if you’re breastfeeding, I don’t want you to eliminate so much food that you’re not eating anything because you’re breastfeeding and you need to eat. You need to stay hydrated to produce your breast milk.
00;14;31;17 – 00;14;56;27
Dr. Mona
So I have seen mothers get to the point where they’re literally only eating celery sticks, or they’re only eating one food because they are so scared of their baby being gassy. And guess what? The baby’s still gassy because like I said many times, it’s them. It’s not you. They’re swallowing air and they have an immature digestive system. So please, please, please remember to talk to your child’s pediatrician before you eliminate any food.
00;14;57;00 – 00;15;17;25
Dr. Mona
And also remember that a fussy baby is not your fault because sometimes you feel that right. You’re a new mom. New dad. You really want to take care of your baby. You want them to be happy and smiley. But it is okay if your baby is not happy and smiley all time. It’s okay if your toddler is not happy and tall and smiling all all the time.
00;15;17;29 – 00;15;43;27
Dr. Mona
There’s a huge misconception that we have to have happy children all the time, and it drives me nuts because babies and kids, it’s okay if they’re upset sometimes. Okay, now another thing that I get asked is formulas. Now, if you are formula feeding, there’s tons of formulas on the market on my Instagram, I have a post about formulas kind of hashing out the differences, but if your baby is more gassy, there are partially hydrolyzed formulas.
00;15;43;27 – 00;16;09;07
Dr. Mona
This includes Enfamil gentle hip is a popular formula in Europe. Gerber carries it. Similac carries, partially hydrolyzed formulas. These formulas are where the proteins are broken down a bit, making it easy to digest. So this is an option if you want to use it. But again, speak to your pediatrician before making any dietary changes. Formula changes so that they can be involved in that decision making.
00;16;09;09 – 00;16;33;11
Dr. Mona
Another common thing I get asked is about probiotics. So as a heads up, probiotics are not regulated by the FDA in the United States. So the Food and Drug Administration, when probiotics are on the market, meaning your over-the-counter drops, right. The ones that you go to the drugstore and pick up, they’re actually not regulated. So you’re taking it at your at your own risk, meaning you’re trusting the manufacturer when they say that it’s effective and safe.
00;16;33;13 – 00;16;53;02
Dr. Mona
That being said, doesn’t mean that you can’t use it. But that’s why I want you to remember that it’s not tested for safety or efficacy. That being said, probiotics in formula are regulated by the FDA in the United States. So formula companies, because it’s a food per se or nutrition, they are required to submit testing for their claims.
00;16;53;05 – 00;17;15;04
Dr. Mona
So there has been some research that probiotics can be beneficial in formula. They tested Lactobacillus root rye, which is a type of formula which I apologize is a type of probiotic. So when they have tested that they looked that it could actually reduce the crying time and colic. So it is something to consider. We actually use Gerber Soothe.
00;17;15;04 – 00;17;33;06
Dr. Mona
It’s a type of formula I, I am on the probiotic bandwagon. I think there is some research that needs to be done. However. But again you have to talk to your child’s pediatrician. We just made the decision for Ryan that, hey, I like the Gerber Soothe. It has the probiotics in it. Let’s try it. And he’s tolerating it really well now.
00;17;33;10 – 00;17;56;18
Dr. Mona
He’s not that gassy of a baby. But again, is it just my perception I don’t have another baby. So I wouldn’t know the comparison. But it is something to consider. And if you are considering adding probiotics, whether it’s via formula or whether it’s via a supplement, talk to your pediatrician. Now the other question should I get gas drops and there are tons of gas traps or homeopathic remedies for gas.
00;17;56;18 – 00;18;23;03
Dr. Mona
My alicorn Simethicone gripe water. I am not opposed to them, but I truly believe that they’re more of a placebo effect. Your baby’s crying. Nothing’s working. You give them to drop and it makes them feel better. Makes you feel better, right? And when I get into the psychology of taking care of a fussy, fussy baby at the end of this talk, I’m going to talk about that sort of feedback mechanism that happens that if you’re crying, if you’re crying and upset because your baby’s crying and upset, it’s a vicious cycle.
00;18;23;09 – 00;18;44;17
Dr. Mona
And sometimes giving the drop makes you feel more calm and baby can get more calm. So it’s okay to try. But truly, again, there’s no research studies that show that they’re effective, so try it. If it doesn’t work, stop using them. Okay? The other things you want to consider is if you are bottle feeding, what bottle you’re using and what type of nipple you’re using.
00;18;44;23 – 00;19;02;10
Dr. Mona
So for Ryan, we went through two different types of bottles. There are so many bottles on the market. I was between Doctor Brown’s, Mam and Connaught Homo. We tried ma’am, and I liked it. Initially he was doing well and he just kept. He just wasn’t doing well with the nipple and it was just not working out for us.
00;19;02;15 – 00;19;31;28
Dr. Mona
So I switched to Como Toma, which for us has worked well. Now. That being said, I don’t think it’s a one size fits all approach, so you have to kind of see maybe getting one bottle of each company and figuring out what what works best for your baby. But it is important to try different bottles if you find that one of them’s not working and your baby’s a little more gassy, the best way to position the bottle also is that you want to position it so that the milk is kind of tilting down into the bottle so that there’s less air bubbles.
00;19;31;28 – 00;20;04;02
Dr. Mona
So if you’re seeing a lot of air bubbles in that milk, then that’s going to just go down into baby’s gut. That includes shaking the bottle, right. Like if you’re formula feeding and you’re shaking it and there’s all those bubbles, let it settle before you give it to give it to the baby. Also, having them elevated a little bit where their head is above their stomach so that again, it flows down nicer can help a lot with this gas in terms of your breastfeeding, if you are breastfeeding, like I said earlier, it’s important to have a good latch and if you don’t feel like you have a good latch, I really encourage you to bring
00;20;04;02 – 00;20;22;12
Dr. Mona
it up with your lactation consultant. Bring it up with your pediatrician to just confirm that there’s no tongue tie. So tongue tie, if your baby’s tongue tied, then they may have an issue with latch. And if they’re not properly latching, they can swallow more air and that can lead to more gas. So something something to consider when feeding.
00;20;22;18 – 00;20;46;08
Dr. Mona
Take breaks and burp if you can. So some babies are just better burgers than others. Like parents will come in and be like, I can’t get that burp out of my baby. That being said, burping a baby requires some degree of force. Now please don’t go crazy and cause injury, but you’re not just doing a slight tap, you’re actually giving a if you can hear giving like a pretty good thump to their back.
00;20;46;08 – 00;21;07;09
Dr. Mona
Obviously. Again, not enough to cause any harm please. But you have to try different strategies in getting that burp out. So some babies like it over the shoulder, right. You put them over your shoulder, some like where you lean them forward. So try different kind of methods of getting the gas out. But if after 1 to 2 minutes that gas, the burp isn’t coming and they’re just still gassy, give it a break.
00;21;07;09 – 00;21;28;09
Dr. Mona
Go back to feeding and try again. Don’t fixate or worry that you can’t get that gas out with the burp, but try again later and take a break like I said. So if you you know, if your baby feeds for 20 minutes, maybe halfway through, take a take a break. If your baby feeds four ounces, halfway through two ounces, take a break, burp them, sit them upright and try again.
00;21;28;09 – 00;21;44;11
Dr. Mona
It can really help. Ryan is a very good bumper, and sometimes though he didn’t get the burp out like I’d just be sitting there doing the methods that I normally do, and he’s just kind of fidgeting. He’s getting cranky because he can’t get that burp out. I sit him up, I just I wait for it and it happens.
00;21;44;11 – 00;22;05;28
Dr. Mona
So be patient with your children, right? Especially from the newborn phase, any parent can tell you parenting 101 is having patience and it begins now. Don’t try to rush them. Don’t panic if they’re not getting that gas out. Just take a moment. Another thing that can help with gas is baby massage, as we do baby massage every night.
00;22;06;01 – 00;22;22;02
Dr. Mona
But if your baby is seeming to be a little more gassy at the moment, massaging their belly in like a circle around their belly button, also moving their legs up and down, this can be very helpful. But that being said, if your baby is in the middle of a crying episode, please check yourself before you start doing this.
00;22;22;04 – 00;22;38;03
Dr. Mona
Doing this right. Because if you’re stressed and like, oh my gosh, I just want to help him and stop him crying. And if you’re trying to fidget and like work with the leg movements and circle around the belly, it’s not going to be a very nice experience for you. It’s not going to be a very nice experience for the baby, and it’s going to cause the baby to cry more.
00;22;38;03 – 00;23;02;10
Dr. Mona
So I really need you to check yourself before you intervene in any way to get that gas out, okay? But yeah, baby massage, moving, bicycling, the legs, all that can help. Another thing that parents have asked me about was the windy. It’s this, I think by Frida, the company I. I haven’t used it. I looked at it, and it’s basically like this little tube that you put in the butt, and it helps alleviate the gas.
00;23;02;12 – 00;23;20;01
Dr. Mona
Personally, I don’t know the safety of it. I would want to make sure that you 100% know how to use it, but I don’t think it’s everyone needs to get it. Some mothers swear by it, but just personally, I don’t know much about it and I haven’t used it, so I can’t say that it’s 100% awesome and okay, but talk to your doctor again.
00;23;20;02 – 00;23;39;24
Dr. Mona
Talk to some friends. My advice is if you use it, make sure you use it correctly. Okay? And another strategy to help with the gas is holding them. It’s holding them down. So belly down. Remember that if you’re holding them make sure you have a firm hold on them and tummy time right. So sometimes when you lay the baby on their belly oh it’s so nice for the gas.
00;23;39;27 – 00;23;56;04
Dr. Mona
That being said, they can’t fall asleep like that, right? Because that’s not safe sleep. So you have to be awake and watching them. So if you’re going to be going to sleep, if baby’s about to go to sleep, I would turn them back over. But I find that that positioning can help a lot. Being turned over on their belly.
00;23;56;06 – 00;24;17;17
Dr. Mona
So now when am I worried about a fussy baby? So this is this is important to know because when you’re in that moment at two in the morning and panic is setting up on you, you need to know, well, when do I need to worry? Do I need to call my doctor? So the first thing is, if your baby’s fussy, think about if they’ve been making wet diapers throughout the day, right?
00;24;17;17 – 00;24;39;02
Dr. Mona
So if you if you’re like, okay, do they make what? Diapers. Yeah. Baby made like five wet diapers. Awesome. I would want at least 3 to 4 wet diapers in a 24 hour period. So if they’re not making wet diapers, then they could be hungry. And if they’re not feeding enough, we’d want to have them checked out. But if they’ve been gaining weight at your doctor’s visits and they’re making wet diapers, this is number one reassuring thing for a fussy baby.
00;24;39;05 – 00;24;55;16
Dr. Mona
The second thing is you want to assess is the fussiness due to fever. And I don’t need you to frantically check temperatures all day, every day when your baby cries. But you’ll know they’ll be very fussy, very warm to you. You check the back of their neck and if they’re feeling warm to you, check a rectal temperature. And again, it has to be rectal because forehead.
00;24;55;16 – 00;25;14;03
Dr. Mona
Ear is just not accurate in a baby under three months. So you put a little Vaseline at the tip, you put it in the rectum and you see if it’s over 100.4. So 100.4 if there is a fever, obviously get them undressed like you did, cool them. See. You know, just let them be exposed to air. Try again.
00;25;14;08 – 00;25;35;08
Dr. Mona
If it’s still over 100.4 after five minutes, I would encourage you to call your pediatrician. If your baby’s under two months old. It is really important that we assess that, because that is one thing that if a baby’s fussy and has a fever, they need to get seen. Another reason that they need to get seen is if they’re just fussy all day.
00;25;35;08 – 00;25;52;12
Dr. Mona
And one of the things like it could be is a hair tourniquet. So here tunic kits are basically a strand of your hair or whoever’s hair gets trapped and circle and circled around their toe or finger. It sounds crazy, but it happens. So if you remember and your doctor I think would be, would be like, wow, how would you know this?
00;25;52;15 – 00;26;12;11
Dr. Mona
Check the fingers and you can go in and be like, you know, I checked the fingers. There was no hair tourniquet, but the baby’s still fuzzy. But check that because that could be a reason. And that’s something that you need to get removed, obviously, because it’s causing the baby to be upset. Always crying is not okay, right? If a baby, you should be able to have a baby who has episodes of happiness and being able to sleep.
00;26;12;17 – 00;26;30;01
Dr. Mona
But if you are seeing in a 24 hour period, there is no absolutely no episode of Calm. Talk to your doctor now. Please remember, though, that when your baby’s crying, it feels like an eternity. So I have parents come in and they’re like, oh my gosh, doctor every this is my baby cries all the time and all the time.
00;26;30;01 – 00;26;50;29
Dr. Mona
And I don’t get any peace. And while they’re saying that the baby’s sleeping in the exam room and I get it that when you’re going through a stressful experience, you’re going to think that it’s feels like an eternity. But you got to see that, hey, my baby is having episodes of calm, my baby is going to sleep, and if they’re not super, super, super upset all day, please see your pediatrician.
00;26;51;01 – 00;27;10;17
Dr. Mona
Another reason is if there are significant split up, right? So if there’s significant spit up there’s poor waking. That’s reflux and reflux and colic we would want to know about because we have to manage that right. There’s medical things that we can do elimination diets, changing formulas, things like this medicine. The other reason we’d want to know is blood in the poop.
00;27;10;19 – 00;27;30;14
Dr. Mona
So if your baby has blood in the poop, spitting up, not gaining weight, fussy. That’s not just a fussy baby. There’s something else we need to examine. I really encourage you that if you are dealing with a fussy baby and you just feel at a loss, make a visit with your pediatrician. What they’ll probably do. And this is what I do.
00;27;30;14 – 00;27;56;11
Dr. Mona
I can’t speak for every pediatrician. They’ll check baby’s weight. They’ll see how is that trending? If that’s good, awesome. That’s great. That’s the number one thing I want to see in a fussy baby. Are they making what? Diapers. They’ll ask about all the questions I did. You know. Is there any fever out there to check a temperature? But if all that is good, it can give you the reassurance that I’m doing everything right and you can go back to this talk and hear all the strategies I have to get you through the next few weeks of fussiness.
00;27;56;13 – 00;28;14;14
Dr. Mona
Most patients come into my office for this at six weeks old. It’s the worst that I think I see. And so I know when I see a six week old on my schedule for a sick visit, I actually can guess why they’re coming in because I see this commonly. Now, if you’re a new parent, I don’t want you to fear the fuss.
00;28;14;15 – 00;28;33;13
Dr. Mona
I don’t want you to fear that this is going to happen. And I’m so worried it’s not something to worry about. And like I said, the less you worry about it and the more you embrace it as like, okay, this is a phase. If it happens, we’re going to get through with it. It is so much better. It’s this constant obsession with, I need to stop this.
00;28;33;13 – 00;28;51;29
Dr. Mona
Oh my God, oh my gosh, the colic. The baby’s crying. It just doesn’t help anyone. So accept it. Say okay, it sucks. I know what I’m going to look out for. Fever, not making wet diapers, get it up and run with it and just be reassured that it does get better. Okay, so now I want to talk about how do you calm a fussy baby.
00;28;51;29 – 00;29;11;06
Dr. Mona
So it’s a little checklist on what I want you to go through when you’re having an episode of a fussy baby. First thing first, pause. Right? Take a moment. Like I said, they make a lot of faces, a lot of grunting sounds, a lot of sounds. Give them a moment. You are not going anywhere. Remember that you are their parent.
00;29;11;06 – 00;29;35;17
Dr. Mona
You are there to take care of them. But you have to just give them a moment. And like I said, that moment is up to you. One minute, two minutes 30s but give them that moment to see if they’ll soothe on their own. If they don’t, you’re going to jump right in to help. Okay, I talk about this in the caring for your newborn in the first trimester episode because it really, really does help if you jump right away.
00;29;35;17 – 00;29;58;06
Dr. Mona
You’re stressed, they’re stressed. It doesn’t help. But that calm reaction to your baby helps everyone in the long run. The next thing you want to do when you finally do attend to your baby, if they keep crying, go through your checklist, right? But remember to check yourself first if you’re getting nervous, if you’re getting upset, if you’re tired, if you’re hungry, it’s going to be harder to take care of a crying infant.
00;29;58;06 – 00;30;14;16
Dr. Mona
So if your baby’s crying, maybe in that 1 to 2 minutes that you’re, you know, allowing them to self-soothe a little bit, go get a glass of water, go get something to eat. If it’s if you’re tired, you know, if you’re thirsty or hungry. But take a moment for yourself before you respond to that crying infant when you get to them.
00;30;14;16 – 00;30;31;04
Dr. Mona
Are they hungry? Right? Remember that not all crying is hunger. Please remember this because I have so many moms come in saying, okay, they were crying. I put them on the boob, I put them in a bottle and they just won’t take it. It’s not always hunger, right? And you’ll hear this, right? Grandma will come over and say, okay, they’re hungry.
00;30;31;04 – 00;30;47;07
Dr. Mona
Okay. Yeah, yeah. You have to feed them. Feed them? Why aren’t you feeding them? They’re hungry. They’re hungry. Guys know it’s not always hunger. And it’s this obsession with stopping the crying and putting them on the on the breast and putting them on the bottle. That it it doesn’t always work. So first and foremost, their need is that are they hungry?
00;30;47;09 – 00;31;05;18
Dr. Mona
If they take the bottle or take the breast, they’re hungry. If they keep fighting you give it a moment. You can try again later, but they may not be hungry. The next thing you want to do is do they have a dirty diaper, right? Because a dirty diaper can make them uncomfortable. So if they do have a dirty diaper, you change them as a as a heads up.
00;31;05;21 – 00;31;23;01
Dr. Mona
If a baby is not crying, you technically do not have to change their diaper and parent. Some parents like what? But think about it this way, right? Like if your baby falls asleep, diapers are very absorbent, if they’re falling, if they’ve fallen asleep and they’re not bothered by it, you don’t have to wake them up to change the diaper.
00;31;23;05 – 00;31;44;25
Dr. Mona
What I would recommend, though, is that you put diaper cream on their bum so that it doesn’t get irritated, but if they’re not bothered by it, you should not be bothered by it. Another parenting tip that I will always say it. It’s really important to do that right? You’re not a bad parent if you don’t change the diaper, if they’re bothered by it and they wake up, absolutely right.
00;31;45;01 – 00;32;01;23
Dr. Mona
But it’s okay. And as you grow, as the baby gets older, you’re going to see that they’re not going to have as many frequent diapers. But just a little heads up initially in the newborn phase, you’re going to be changing a lot of diapers, but as you get to 2 to 3 months, again, diapers are super. They’re they’re meant to be super, super absorbent.
00;32;01;23 – 00;32;23;19
Dr. Mona
If you’ve watched like Pampers commercial, they advertise it as like super absorbent. Will baby will stay, you know, stay stay dry or stay comfortable throughout the whole night. And yeah, they’re probably having urine and poop, but it’s not bothering them. But of course if they’re upset by it, please change it. Okay. The other thing that you want to see is do they just want some love and some cuddling.
00;32;23;19 – 00;32;39;21
Dr. Mona
And remember those are your three things that you’re looking for when you if you boil it down there’s like three basic needs right. Are they hungry or are they just irritated by something, you know, dirty diaper, whatever it may be, you’re looking at making sure they’re okay or do they just want to be held? And obviously that’s important to know because sometimes they do.
00;32;39;25 – 00;33;00;15
Dr. Mona
Sometimes they want to be cuddled. And remember, you are not spoiling your baby by cuddling them in that newborn period because they like that bond. It’s important for them to feel that when I cry, someone is coming to me in that you know that first the first three months of life that are okay, mommy’s here, daddy’s here. But when I get through the other tip, sometimes you’ll do all that, right?
00;33;00;21 – 00;33;24;17
Dr. Mona
You’ll feed them, you’ll change their diaper and you’ll rock them or hold them or do whatever cuddly thing you want. And sometimes they’ll still cry. So when that happens, you want to choose three soothing mechanisms, okay? And don’t cycle like crazy through all of this. Just choose a few. And it could be all of them. But choose a few and decide what works best for you and your baby.
00;33;24;21 – 00;33;41;19
Dr. Mona
And remember, you also need to be calm when you go through these methods, right? If you’re frantically okay, I got I got a rock, I got it, I got to put the pacifier. Just take it step by step and do what you can for your baby. So some things that can help. Swaddling. I found that swaddling was very helpful for Ryan.
00;33;41;22 – 00;34;01;25
Dr. Mona
I have many patients in my office that do not need to be swaddled, so you have to kind of see what you can do is buy a swaddle and make sure you use it safely. Like don’t make sure it’s not by the by the nose or the mouth, right. Obviously for suffocation risk. But use it if baby seems to be still fidgety in it, you know, flailing their arms out of it, then you can stop using it.
00;34;01;25 – 00;34;21;01
Dr. Mona
But swaddling has been shown that it can help help them feel more cozy in that fourth trimester. So try it. I have seen, though, that some parents just say it’s not working. I’ve tried different swaddle. I’ve tried the ones that, you know, zip up, I’ve tried this and that. And so in the end it’s okay to not use it, but something to consider.
00;34;21;03 – 00;34;39;01
Dr. Mona
The other thing that can help is rocking. So bouncing on a yoga ball, standing, which my husband did, he would stand and walk Ryan around like basically, you know, with the motion that can help as well. Babies like to feel rocked and, you know, all this kind of goes back to the womb, right? They in the womb, they were tight.
00;34;39;01 – 00;34;58;08
Dr. Mona
So the swaddle, they were bouncing around, meaning when mom was walking around, they would bounce to. So they like to be rocked. So it kind of goes back to mimicking the womb. That being said, some babies don’t need any of it, so you kind of have to see what works best for your baby. Other things white noise similar to being in the womb.
00;34;58;08 – 00;35;22;22
Dr. Mona
They like that, sort of that, that sound, right, like a washing machine. So white noise machines are great. If you want to consider it. Again, not a necessity. Baby’s cries are thought to be around 80dB and, you know, like a shower, running is about 65dB. So you want to kind of find something in that range. There is you know, there is research that it is okay for them to be listening to these white noise machines.
00;35;22;22 – 00;35;45;04
Dr. Mona
It’s not, you know, hurting their hearing. You don’t obviously want it to go too high, but definitely something to consider but not necessary. We tried White Noise with Ryan when he was fussy. Sometimes he did fine with it. We you know, we obviously did the adjustments. Sometimes it just didn’t do anything. So we ditched it. And I’ll tell you at the end what what we use for Ryan again every baby’s different.
00;35;45;06 – 00;36;01;04
Dr. Mona
Other thing that can help when they’re fussy is a pacifier. When you use a pacifier, some babies take to it. Well, some don’t. But what you want to do is you want to introduce it. It’s okay if you wait. It’s okay if you want to wait, but it’s okay to introduce it early too. You don’t have to wait till breastfeeding is established.
00;36;01;04 – 00;36;16;12
Dr. Mona
You know, you can talk to your pediatrician. You know, if if you’re concerned about your latch. But it’s okay to do it early. What you want to do is try different types of pacifiers. If your baby’s not taking one, and you also want to try in different times of the day, you also want to make sure that you’re not doing it.
00;36;16;12 – 00;36;38;07
Dr. Mona
When babies are overly crying, so upset that you can’t get it in right, you want to just make sure they’re kind of calm fussing a little bit, but if they’re wailing, it’s just it’s not the time to try it, but try it. Don’t give up pacifiers can be very helpful to you. It can help them. It can help a lot with self-soothing skills for baby to have that, for sleeping.
00;36;38;09 – 00;36;56;14
Dr. Mona
So it’s something to try. And also it can help reduce the incidence of SIDs. So something to consider if baby does not take it. I don’t want you to panic, but it’s something to try as much as you can. Another thing that I find is during the day, if you, you know, obviously in the middle of the night, this might be hard to do.
00;36;56;14 – 00;37;19;25
Dr. Mona
But during the day, changing your scenery. So just say baby’s fussing and you’ve been in the living room all day and I can speak from personal experience. That’s where we’re kind of camped out throughout the day. And if you know he’s your baby’s fussing, changing the scenery, if you’re staring at baby all day and baby staring at you, maybe go walk outside, walk to another room, go by the go by the window, you know, go down the hall, whatever it may be, so that you can change the scenery.
00;37;20;00 – 00;37;35;03
Dr. Mona
I did it a lot with Ryan and it really helps. I. I joke with my husband that I think we got tired of staring at each other all day. You know, I obviously love him and he loves me, but you just kind of get exhausted with the monotony of having a baby, right? You wake up, feed, wake up, feed, play today.
00;37;35;06 – 00;37;52;20
Dr. Mona
So sometimes changing the scene can really help. So I really, really encourage you guys to change the scenery. If you’re finding that, you know, during the day you’re having a fussy episode, middle of the night, you can do that as well. Obviously if it’s safe and you’re able to, you know, obviously go in the living room or whatever it may be, maybe not go outside.
00;37;52;27 – 00;38;09;00
Dr. Mona
Some parents will take their baby for a drive. I, I personally don’t want you to get into that habit because that can be very time consuming and that can also be very exhausting. And if weather’s not so great driving in the snow, I don’t want you to deal with that at two in the morning. So really try not to get I would say try not to do that.
00;38;09;00 – 00;38;30;15
Dr. Mona
And also it’s not safe for baby to fall asleep in the car seat, right? Like obviously for short drive it’s fine, but I don’t want them to get used to that. So I would advise not to do drives if you if you, you know, are thinking of doing that. The other thing, colic or an overtired baby can also just be that they’re just so, so exhausted from the day.
00;38;30;15 – 00;38;50;00
Dr. Mona
Right. So people will say, oh, my baby’s so fussy, but are they just so tired that they can’t calm themselves down? Right. We talk a lot about this, that there’s that, that perfect window to get baby to go to sleep. And I speak about that in the caring for your newborn episode. But if they’re kind of starting to show signs of yawning, you know, their eyes are days awesome.
00;38;50;00 – 00;39;12;21
Dr. Mona
That shows that maybe they’re ready for sleep. If they’re so exhausted and wailing, they could be the baby. They could be past the point of being able to kind of self-soothe and be cancelable because they’re so over tired. So watch for that. Okay, listen to that episode. Look for sleep cues because it can really help you in establishing that sort of, okay, you’re tired.
00;39;12;21 – 00;39;32;25
Dr. Mona
You’re showing me some signs of dead eyes and and yawns. Let me put you down. Now, like I said, do you need to use all of this? Is there some sort of order that you need to do all of this? Not necessarily. So I take care of tons of babies and in my opinion, every child is different and you need to find what works best for you, right?
00;39;32;28 – 00;39;51;04
Dr. Mona
So in my office I have parents who use none of this. They literally just put the baby in. They’re fine because the temperaments different. Some babies need maybe 1 or 2 of these things, so I don’t believe that there’s a recipe for everyone. Now that being said, some babies will need all of it and I want you to try doing all of that.
00;39;51;11 – 00;40;15;26
Dr. Mona
But for example, our son really, from all the things that I mentioned, it was swaddling a pacifier and rocking. He didn’t really need the white noise machine, right? We would change sceneries a little bit. So as as Ryan got older, we were able to phase out the rocking so much and he would be able to kind of come on his own with maybe like less time of rocking and the swaddle, we were able to get him out of the swaddle eventually.
00;40;15;26 – 00;40;35;14
Dr. Mona
He’s now three months old, so you gotta you got to see what works best for your baby. The swaddle like I said, if the baby has an exaggerated more where they’re flailing their arms, it can really, really help to kind of calm that down but find out what works best for you and works what works best for your baby in terms of calming them when they’re fussy.
00;40;35;16 – 00;41;02;10
Dr. Mona
But always remember the following. Go through your checklist. Check yourself first. Make sure you’re calm to handle this, pause 1 to 2 minutes whatever you’re comfortable with. Okay, but do pause. Assess their basic needs. Hunger. Diaper change. Bothered by something? Do they want to be, you know, consoled held things like that? Loved. You know, and obviously if they’re not making wet diapers or if they’re having a fever medically they should be seen, right.
00;41;02;10 – 00;41;22;20
Dr. Mona
Check the fingers and toes for hair turn it gets you look like a rock star to your pediatrician. But check those things. Sometimes you can do all of that and babies can still fuss, which can lead to a lot of anxiety and depression in parents. And I cannot tell you how hard that is to see in my office.
00;41;22;22 – 00;41;41;25
Dr. Mona
I’ll have mothers come in and they’ll be just in tears with their crying baby. So I love talking about fussy babies and I love talking about colic. Whatever you want to talk about, call it because it is so important to understand that it is difficult. It’s okay to be upset by it, but it’s something that does get better.
00;41;41;29 – 00;42;00;23
Dr. Mona
And if you’re finding that, oh my gosh, this is so overwhelming, taking care of this baby that I can’t consoled. So please speak to your pediatrician, right. To make sure it’s not anything medical we need to do. And I call a lot of this the cycle of caring for a fussy baby. There is a psychological impact and you cannot deny that.
00;42;00;23 – 00;42;19;26
Dr. Mona
So if anyone says that, oh, everyone goes through it, it’s okay. Suck it up. No. Like if your baby is fussy and you are perceiving that to be an extremely fussy baby, it can be extremely hard because as a mother, I’m going to speak about a mother because I am one. As a mother, we want to have our babies feel loved and consoled.
00;42;19;26 – 00;42;37;11
Dr. Mona
And when your hormones are raging and your sleep deprived and you can’t console your baby, the first thing that we think, and I’m going to I’m going to test that is how come I can’t console my child? Why can I not console them? I’m their mother. I should be able to console this baby. But I want you to remember that it’s not your fault.
00;42;37;11 – 00;42;58;20
Dr. Mona
It’s nothing bad. You are doing everything right. Go through your checklist, go through all this. But sometimes they cry. And like I said, I see a strong correlation between fussy babies and postpartum depression. And it’s the chicken or the egg debate. And I’m going to explain it like this. Does postpartum depression cause the baby to be fussy? What I mean by that is mom sad?
00;42;58;28 – 00;43;20;18
Dr. Mona
The hormones whatnot and babies senses that energy. And so baby gets sad. Baby starts to cry. And I want you to really think about this. And again, there’s no blame. There’s nothing like this. Because it is something we really need to talk more about because it has a huge impact on children and newborns, obviously. So is it that the depression is there, the sadness is there, and baby’s more fussy?
00;43;20;21 – 00;43;46;26
Dr. Mona
Or is it that the fussy baby is causing mother to go through depression? It’s that sort of understanding, you know, understanding that it could actually be a cycle is, you know, mommy’s mommy’s feeling sad, baby. Feel sad, starts crying. That makes mommy feel sad in return or you know, the other way around. And I really want to express this because I think parent mothers forget about this sort of cycle and feedback mechanism that can happen.
00;43;46;28 – 00;44;02;28
Dr. Mona
You know, one thing that I really do a lot with Ryan and I’ll speak a lot about this is, you know, I went through birth trauma. It was very difficult, but I really tried to bring a lot of positivity to, you know, my family, my husband and my and my son. And it just comes from a place of optimism.
00;44;02;28 – 00;44;21;05
Dr. Mona
I’m I am a very glass half full type person. And because I’m glass half full, I wake up every morning and I give Ryan a smile. Even if he’s crying. I wake up and I look at him with intent and I look at him with a smile. Even when I’m sad, I or tired, I still look at him with a smile.
00;44;21;08 – 00;44;37;15
Dr. Mona
There’s going to be moments where I wasn’t right. I’m tired. I’m exhausted. But I try my hardest to kind of give him that sort of attention, especially as you start to open his eyes more right, and look at me more and it really helps. So why does it help to just smile at your baby or sing to your baby?
00;44;37;18 – 00;44;58;23
Dr. Mona
Because when you smile at them and you sing to them or you talk to them, it can help your emotions, right? So I really encourage that. If you’re dealing with a fussy baby and you’re finding yourself to be dealing with postpartum depression or anxiety, try singing, try talking, try just doing, you know, bad time with them all things that can really, really help your mood, which can in turn help baby’s mood.
00;44;58;25 – 00;45;20;17
Dr. Mona
And I talk about this again in caring for your baby in the fourth trimester, which because I think it’s extremely important a crying baby impacts us significantly, and we cannot deny the stress that this causes. Okay, and when I speak about the psychology of a fussy infant, I talk about some strategies to reset yourself as parents when dealing with the crying infant.
00;45;20;19 – 00;45;43;29
Dr. Mona
So if you’ve done your checklist right, if you’ve gone through what I said, you’ve done all of that and they’re still crying, I want you to leave the baby alone for ten minutes in a safe spot, which means on their back in a bassinet or a crib with no bumper, stuffed animals, blankets, any of that. Okay, I recommend this because calming a baby who doesn’t calm is very stressful and can cause the caretaker to get nervous.
00;45;43;29 – 00;46;06;16
Dr. Mona
Which, like I said, there’s that feedback mechanism and baby’s going to continue to cry babies 100% since this. Okay, imagine like in a newborn nursery if you’ve seen like movies one baby cries, all the others begin to cry. So there is some sort of like empathy that happens in newborns that if mom and if mom is feeling so overwhelmed, that baby feels it too.
00;46;06;19 – 00;46;24;23
Dr. Mona
And I you cannot deny that they sense these emotions. So we need to calm ourselves and be able to reset the situation. Right? And by the way, this is very similar to when your toddler throws a tantrum if you all of a sudden react and try to stop the crying immediately, right. It can cause them to kind of have that feedback.
00;46;24;23 – 00;46;43;23
Dr. Mona
Because you’re not calm, you have to calm yourself before you deal with any baby newborn toddler who’s upset. Let’s check your emotions before you do anything. So put them on their back just for, you know, make sure it’s safe. Make sure the room is dim. Go get a glass of water. Go cry, yell, scream. Whatever you need to do.
00;46;43;29 – 00;47;02;15
Dr. Mona
Go outside and reset yourself. Come back after ten minutes until or however long you need. Just make sure you know ten minutes, 15 minutes max. Make sure you are ready to tackle that baby and ready to handle all that crying, okay? Because if you’re still upset, it’s not going to help when you go back. If baby’s calm, awesome.
00;47;02;15 – 00;47;19;21
Dr. Mona
But there’s a chance the baby will still be fussing. And then you go through your checklist again. You go through any other mechanism to try to help them calm, and they will calm down if they’re not calming down and you’re concerned, call your doctor. Okay, but remember that medical checklist I gave you? Another thing that can really help.
00;47;19;21 – 00;47;43;14
Dr. Mona
And again, this goes back to the psychology of taking care of a fussy baby. You have to leave the house whenever you can. If you have someone who can help your partner, your grandparent nanny, I don’t care. Just leave the home for just ten minutes. It doesn’t have to be long. It just you could go right outside when you are taking care of a baby who’s fussing 24 hours a day, day in and day out.
00;47;43;14 – 00;47;59;25
Dr. Mona
The monotony. It really impacts your emotional well-being, and you need to do something to just reset yourself if you’re not able to right? Like if you’re like I am many days it’s just me and Ryan and my husband’s at home and some days he’s fussy. And I’ll just take a moment, you know, I’ll walk him to the window.
00;47;59;25 – 00;48;18;19
Dr. Mona
I’ll go down the hall, take the baby with you if you need to. Right. But get out of the home if you can. Alone. You are there for your baby. I promise you, your baby’s going to love you. I did this a lot after we recovered from our birth trauma. I took a lot of time for myself and my little bub.
00;48;18;19 – 00;48;37;07
Dr. Mona
Ryan loves me so much. He’s so connected to me. He looks at me with such admiration because I’m happy, if that makes sense. So take time for yourself so that you can go back to taking care of your crying baby or non crying baby. And also just the son will help you if it’s warm outside, even if it’s not warm.
00;48;37;07 – 00;48;51;28
Dr. Mona
Just getting out can really help if you need to. Like I said, leave the house with baby, go for a stroll, get some fresh air. It is 100% okay for you to go for a stroll with your newborn. Obviously, if your pediatrician recommends against that, that’s fine, but walking is fine. You go to your doctor’s office, which is filled with germs.
00;48;52;03 – 00;49;08;18
Dr. Mona
I do not mind of family going around their neighborhood. Maybe avoiding crowded places, obviously until the baby’s a little older, but it could really help to just get outside. If you live near the beach, go to the beach. If you have access to a park, go to a park, go visit a friend you know. Get out of the house if you can.
00;49;08;20 – 00;49;28;08
Dr. Mona
The other thing is, tell any family members, including grandparents, who keep bothering you about your crying baby, to listen to this podcast. I know a lot of that crying talk comes from grandparents. Oh my gosh, why is he crying? You’re not feeding him, right? What’s wrong? You’re doing it wrong. He needs a diaper change. It is exhausting when you’re doing everything you can.
00;49;28;10 – 00;49;48;15
Dr. Mona
So remember that you are doing fine. You’re doing everything okay. They are babies and they will cry. And sometimes you’ll have those moments where you’re trying to soothe them. You know you’re going through your checklist. It just doesn’t happen. So assess their needs, have a plan for soothing, and remind everyone else that you got this. And remind yourself that you got this.
00;49;48;17 – 00;50;14;17
Dr. Mona
Lastly, change the story you tell yourself and stop using the word colic or fussy. Why is that? If you have a fussy baby and every time the baby fusses, it reinforces that your baby’s a fussy baby? If you look at it as my baby’s an awesome baby and a happy baby and a occasionally they fuss, you’re changing the narrative, so you have to look at it like, look at it like that.
00;50;14;21 – 00;50;31;10
Dr. Mona
Now, that being said, if your baby’s crying 24 hours a day, that something is wrong and you see a pediatrician, but if you have moments where your baby’s calm, remember the calm and tell yourself when your baby’s crying. We’re going to get through this. Because if you get into that cycle of, oh my gosh, baby’s crying, call it colic, my baby is colicky.
00;50;31;13 – 00;50;46;19
Dr. Mona
It it doesn’t serve any purpose. And it really has a huge impact on your emotional well-being. I did this to, you know, when Ryan was about, like I said, four weeks old. He was crying like we were doing. We went through all the checklists. We were trying to get him to calm. And I literally was sitting there staring at him, crying.
00;50;46;19 – 00;51;04;10
Dr. Mona
And my husband came in and he was like, what’s wrong? And I’m like, I can’t get him to settle. And I’ve tried everything. It’s just not working today. And he, you know, he’s like, take your moment. We did our ten minute rule and in that situation, Ryan stopped crying and I needed to check myself. I needed to make sure that I wasn’t getting agitated.
00;51;04;10 – 00;51;23;14
Dr. Mona
And it happened to me, too, right? And I kept saying, oh, he’s so colicky, he’s so colicky. And I thought to myself, like, what am I doing? He’s not colicky. It’s okay to be fussy, right? Stop putting the label on, because if you put the label on, something’s wrong. And if your baby is fussy 24 hours a day, you need to see your pediatrician, right?
00;51;23;14 – 00;51;56;29
Dr. Mona
If they’re not making wet diapers, if they’re having bloody poops, if they have a fever, right. But if everything else is going okay, baby’s gaining weight. There’s, you know, making wet diapers monitor. Right. Remember that this fuss does get better. Change the narrative. Change the story you tell yourself. And remember that you are doing a good job. Many, many parents go through this phase, and if you can digest this information that I told you in this episode and really apply it, I really think that you will change how you approach a fussy baby.
00;51;57;02 – 00;52;17;29
Dr. Mona
Thank you for listening to this week’s episode. As always, leave a review. Follow me on Instagram at PedsDocTalk. If you’re not already, share this episode on any of your social media channels Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, TikTok, whatever it may be. I love doing this for you guys. Until next time, have a great day!
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All information presented on this blog, my Instagram, and my podcast is for educational purposes and should not be taken as personal medical advice. These platforms are to educate and should not replace the medical judgment of a licensed healthcare provider who is evaluating a patient.
It is the responsibility of the guardian to seek appropriate medical attention when they are concerned about their child.
All opinions are my own and do not reflect the opinions of my employer or hospitals I may be affiliated with.
